Unapologetic Swingers

Unapologetic Swingers: Ep 27 - Deliberate Desire: Exploring the Lifestyle at Your Own Pace

• Unapologetic Swingers • Season 1 • Episode 27

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We are joined by Bryce and Palmer - a sexy couple with an unusual orgin story and how every step they make in the lifestyle is very deliberate. 

Visit us at UnapologeticSwingers.com

Also visit our partners: Shivers.Store and use the discount US at checkout for 10% off your order and our newest sponsor, The Scarlet Ranch! Colorado's premier Lifestyle club

Elle:

Welcome back to Unapologetic Swingers. I'm El

Tramp:

and I'm the Tramp. And we are just so very thankful for you continuing to come on this journey with us as we talk about the lifestyle, the highs and lows and everything in between.

Elle:

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Tramp:

The good, the bad, and the ugly. Very true. And today we are blessed to have Bryce and Palmer with us, and I've known you guys, I want to say it seems like forever. Years life and lifestyle years. Yes. Half, four years. Yeah. They're a lifestyle forever. They're like dog years. So welcome guys. Thank you. And today you guys are making your debut per se. Yeah. And we're really interested to hear about your story and how you guys came to be and some of your experiences because everybody's journey is unique.

Palmer:

Yeah,

Bryce:

yeah, for sure. I think

Elle:

welcome. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks. We're excited.

Bryce:

Yeah.

Elle:

So tell us a little bit about how you got in the lifestyle, how you guys got together.

Palmer:

I don't think our story's very common. We were both married before and both in the lifestyle before and had met each other actually on a couple's date with our exes A long time ago. Yes. And then. Ended up divorced and reconnecting and it made for a really easy it, I knew it wasn't part of my life. I wanted to give up. Yeah, same. And so, yeah, it made for an easy conversation to go back into the lifestyle.

Tramp:

I'm gonna interject there just real quick. We've had conversations El and I about. Once the lifestyle's kind of imprinted into your DNA Right. You really can't imagine no. Your life without it, even if you're not active, but the friendships mm-hmm. And the social group, the realness. The realness, yeah. Is a hundred percent just next level. And in fact, when you go out with vanilla friends, it can oftentimes be, this is kind of boring, not so much

a drag. Yeah.

Bryce:

Now, like when I go out, like I just was at a work function and, so it was, basically a vanilla party, but you're just like, oh, okay. Can't I can't touch her back? Right. Switch into this gear real quick or I'm gonna get fired.

Elle:

Oh, I was talking to somebody last night and she was saying they went to like a little dive bar and she complimented the bartender on her hair and she just looked at her like. It was the craziest thing in the world that she would say something to her like that. Yeah. And it's of like, oh, we're, we're, we're not doing that. We we're not nice to people. We don't compliment. Wow. Okay.

Bryce:

Yeah. Which is one of the reasons that, the ranch is so great, is because everybody can kind of be themselves there and compliment each other and make people feel good and everybody. Is that their best? So,

Elle:

yeah. Yeah. People walk in just, it doesn't matter what they look like, how they feel is really mm-hmm. More important than anything else. Yeah. Wow. You feel sexy, you feel like you look good and I wanna support that, and I want to, make you feel good too. Yeah.

Bryce:

And I think that that was one of the things when we reconnected and came back, like into the lifestyle, we both. Brought different aspects from our previous experience. Mm-hmm. And we knew exactly what, not exactly, but we knew more of what we didn't want to do. Mm-hmm. And not necessarily what the lifestyle could be. Mm-hmm. We knew that, like I loved, seeing her get dressed up and going out. So we loved, the ranch for that aspect. Mm-hmm. And then eventually just meeting a great group of friends. And

Elle:

so, so you guys met on a couple's date with your other spouses uhhuh, but you didn't. Hmm. This is gonna just be one of those questions. Yeah. You didn't like get together and then the marriages disappeared. No. The marriages disappeared and then you went, Hey, yes, I remember you. This was great. I ran into

Bryce:

her at her job. I

Palmer:

was bartending at the, a hotel near the airport and he was traveling for work and so. We're like, oh, we know each each other. Hello. So, yeah. No, no, no. For sure. For me, my marriage was gone long before. Yeah,

Elle:

yeah. Did, did the lifestyle have anything to do with that or was it just other things then that just happened to be

Palmer:

Ooh, ooh, that's a tough one. A lot of other things, but Sure. I think the lifestyle amplified it and just doing it. Kind of all wrong, I think in my, not that if anybody did it the exact same way, it would be wrong for them. It was wrong for me, so. Right. Yeah,

Tramp:

no, that's completely fair. Bryce, something you said earlier on is when you guys came together. You individually knew what you liked from the lifestyle and what you didn't like.

Bryce:

Mm-hmm. Right?

Tramp:

Yeah. And that's amazing, being able to meld those together. And of course, I'm sure there was give and take if you will.

Palmer:

Mm-hmm.

Tramp:

But being able to bring that all together into one cohesive unit and find mm-hmm. Happiness.

Bryce:

Yeah. When we got back into the lifestyle, we took things extremely slow. I remember that. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Exactly. Very, very intentional. Very. We loved hanging out. We, like I said, the ranch was great just for the sexiness of it and the fun of it. But we knew that we didn't want to just jump right in and

mm-hmm.

Bryce:

We kind of did things. With purpose.

Palmer:

Oh, for sure. Yeah. And I think we still do. Yeah.

Bryce:

Yeah. And I mean, we also, coming from it before we understood the importance of communication. So anytime anything would happen, we would talk about it and mm-hmm. And so yeah, kind of figure it out. And I think we, know

Palmer:

oh yeah,

Bryce:

where we're at, like,

Palmer:

and yeah. And have learned how to communicate or if maybe we try something and. It went really well or don't really wanna do that again. Right. It doesn't have to be an argument or a fight or it's just a like, oh, let's you know, that was different's. Yeah. You can look at each other and say, yeah, that was a shit show and let's not do that again. Exactly.

Tramp:

That too. We have any

Bryce:

shit shows, but that's

Tramp:

good experiences. Were like, uh, maybe not again. Yeah. No. But l we seem to have, and I know we hammer on this, seemingly every single episode that comes up is. The core of communication.

Elle:

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. That makes me smile. I was waiting for it. I was waiting for it just, and we didn't

Tramp:

bring it up for once and we didn't.

Elle:

No, it's not us. But I mean, it's such a consistent message throughout interviewing as many people as we have. Mm-hmm. Is there has to be that communication. If you don't have it, it's not gonna work.

Palmer:

There's just no way. And you can, I think looking back maybe in my past relationship, I thought I had that, but it wasn't authentic to myself. Where now I can. Communicate with you in a way where I'm worried about you and your opinion, but I'm more, I'm more concerned with making sure I'm actually communicating what I really feel right. Versus just like. For the sakes. Yeah. Communicating for the sake of communicating. Palmer, I have to

Tramp:

say that that, resonates with me considerably.

Palmer:

You can think you're communicating. Just'cause you're saying words doesn't mean you're

Tramp:

communicating, doesn't mean they're being heard necessarily and vice versa. Yeah.

Elle:

Right, right. Or, sometimes you have the communication in your head, you're thinking things. Mm-hmm. But are you really expressing that out? Yes. Yeah. And letting somebody know what's important for you. Yeah. And having

Palmer:

somebody that. Hears it and Yes. I'm sorry. What'd you say? You're adorable. Oh, that's the word we're using. Huh? Okay.

Bryce:

Okay. So there's nothing new. All. Bless your heart.

Elle:

Oh, yeah. That's, that's the, the Colorado. Bless your heart. Yeah. Apparently you're adorable. I like, I my favorite is, you're so pretty. Yeah. I said that to Jay all the time. Uhhuh. Aw, you're so pretty.

Bryce:

I think one thing though, when you communicate things with me and you're like, I know maybe you wanna do this, but I'm just not there right now, and I, I'm always of the mindset that like, if one of us isn't there, then mm-hmm. Then we're both. Right there.

Palmer:

Yeah. Yeah.

Tramp:

That should be true. Generally speaking, the lifestyle where even the brand new people who are cautiously dipping a toe in the water, you should only move as fast as the slowest person.

Palmer:

And I think more often than not, maybe this was an assumption that women get kind of held up on like, I don't wanna hold you back. I don't wanna, like, we're doing this. Let's, let's do it. You know,

Elle:

and pushing themselves further than that they feel comfortable with. Yeah, exactly. Yes. Yeah. Right. And if

Palmer:

you have a partner that doesn't push that, i'll say that to you and you're like, no, I'm, I'm, I'm gonna, yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Tramp:

I don't think it's necessarily limited to women per se. Mm-hmm. I think it's more just a personality type. Mm-hmm. To be honest. But it could trend a lot more. Sure.

Palmer:

Yeah.

Tramp:

Toward women.

Yeah.

Bryce:

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we haven't even been lifestyle that long, but in the amount of time that we've been in it, you can like see other couples, even new people that come in. You're like, oh, okay. They're.

Elle:

Going too fast. Yes. Going too fast. You might wanna slow your roll. They're like pump the brakes. Yeah. Yeah. They're canon balling into the deep end. Yeah. You don't have

Palmer:

to do everything all at once. Yeah. All at the same time. It's okay to take it slow and be intentional. Well, the lifestyle's not going anywhere.

Elle:

Right. That's it. And, most people aren't going anywhere. Mm-hmm. And if they are, then they probably shouldn't have been in the lifestyle to begin with. Mm-hmm. So if you're just aware of your surroundings, aware of your partner and their needs. And communicate. Mm-hmm. Again. Mm-hmm. Then that makes everything. More enjoyable. Mm-hmm. For everyone. I mean, I always say the lowest common denominator. So if there's four of you and one of you is like, oh, I'm not sure yet, great. Mm-hmm. Then we're not, let's just get to know each other. Let's just have a good conversation. Let's, you know, build that connection. Yes. And, and we've talked about it before, that there's other places around the country where it is, you're going there, you show up. Oh, you find someone you think is hot and you go have sex. Yeah. And I think. We've cultivated here at the ranch and in Denver definitely. And the people that we know, it's more about getting to know somebody and understanding who they are. Yeah. And, having a deeper connection with someone before you get to that point. A hundred percent agree. Absolutely.'cause we, we travel

Bryce:

a lot and we'll, definitely check like get on, the site that we're on and see, what's going on. Or maybe reach out to a couple couples. And it's not that we're reaching out to'em because we want to go hook up. We're reaching out and'cause we like meeting. Mm-hmm. Fun like-minded people in different cities. Mm-hmm. And, but we've had plenty of experiences. 99% of the time people think like, yeah, you're like halfway through a drink, and they're like, all right. You guys ready? And we're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, I'm speaking of pump the brakes. Yeah. I'm like, I've only had a half a drink.

Elle:

So when you guys travel, are you finding that you do play more than you do here or? I don't think we have ever. Ever. Okay. And again,

Bryce:

It's not that we're opposed to it, it's just finding a connection. Yeah. Like we're not, and I think we're not the term sport fuckers, we really just wanna meet fun people to hang out with and

Palmer:

mm-hmm. Assuming for me is very off-putting. I think we've gotten better about communicating to people when we are traveling. Listen, we just really enjoy meeting. Come to Colorado, we can go visit you here. And I think that's kind of.

Bryce:

But even with that, it's amazing the amount of people, like even when you say, Hey, we have zero expectations, we just wanna meet for the people that are, they're still looking to have sex. Like you said, I think it's just we have this outlet here. Mm-hmm.

Palmer:

And.

Bryce:

We, we

Palmer:

get to dress up every weekend. We get to do all these things all the time. And like

Bryce:

when we travel to Desire or Temptations or anywhere else, that's their weekend. That's once a year. Like Yeah. Right. And they're gonna make it count. Get, yeah. Yeah. Where we're like,'cause they don't have that like every weekend. I mean,

Palmer:

if we didn't have this, I'm sure yeah. We would be similar. So. Yeah, it's, that's

Tramp:

interesting. There are parts of the country where it's basically a lifestyle wasteland. Mm-hmm. If you truly think about it, whether it's population or just

Bryce:

Yeah.

Tramp:

A lack of clubs. Yeah.

Yeah.

Tramp:

If you really think about it, between Denver and the West Coast, you pretty much have Denver, Las Vegas. And some in California.

Elle:

Mm-hmm. Although I was just looking at something on Facebook that they opened up a club Salt, salt Lake in Salt Lake City. Yes. It looked pretty from their site. It looked pretty Right. And that people were saying it may not look like much outside, but on the inside. Mm-hmm. It is. It, it looks great. They put some money into it. And we have friends in Salt Lake. It was. Jay, we need to reach out and find out.'cause I'm sure they've been, you know, check. How, how is that? Yeah, I think the church opened it up out there. Right? For sure. For sure. It's a new, it's a new

Bryce:

recruiting, method.

Elle:

I lived there for three years at the early two thousands and I can't imagine that, just that whole aspect there. Mm-hmm. I remember living there. I've never wanted to swear more or to drink more. Yeah. Any place else that I lived.'cause I could, don't tell me I can't, you know, so, I mean, I just can only imagine. Having met some people from Salt Lake that they're like, oh

Bryce:

There are some very attractive people in Salt Lake City. Yeah,

Elle:

this too. So maybe we need a road trip. You know, take this podcast on the road. Do a little road trip on this podcast. Oh, I like this. I like this. Let load ups the van with merch and

Bryce:

the equipment.

Elle:

Yeah. We're gonna get t-shirts or tank tops. Yep, we decided. Go.

Tramp:

Now, Bryce, you mentioned that you like to meet people in your travels. Where are some of the favorite places that you guys have gone and just met people or just for a great kind of lifestyle? Environment, if you will.

Bryce:

Well, I was just in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Oh yeah. And how was that? Oh, let me tell you. I think, we've done like desire and temptations mm-hmm. And that's

Palmer:

easy and perfect. Like that's, oh yeah.

Bryce:

We did Temptations twice so far, once with a big group, and we went once by ourselves. We like Temptations more, go with a group type place. Mm-hmm. Whereas desire is more like a couple

Palmer:

good place to meet people. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Like if we're going somewhere in the summer, like Scottsdale or Dallas. Dallas, we'll try to find a good pool party. Yeah. Just kind of sexy vibe.

Bryce:

And it's so funny, inevitably we were in Dallas and we went to the Virgin and we were at their rooftop pool and you just, oh, you just, you see a couple, you're like, oh, there. I

Elle:

know. Totally. You can tell. And then you start

Bryce:

talking to'em. Next thing, you start talking about trips to Mexico and then, eventually mm-hmm. One of those resorts pops up and then you have have a ton of, all right, but like once it's figured out, you're like, the conversation from them is just easy and just flows. And you're just like, oh, this is great. And these are

Palmer:

people I know who you're talking about. And these are people that we probably had a maybe two hours with and. We're still Facebook. Like you just, yes. It's so easy to, once you know somebody's in the lifestyle, it's so easy. Just opens up everything. The topic, just conversation. Not even just, you know that, oh

Elle:

yeah, we're gonna go and have sex. Mm-hmm. It's like we can now talk. Yeah. All topics are around the table. Mm-hmm. I

Bryce:

think, but I think one of the tricky things around that is how many people in their mind are like, oh, we're gonna. Like hook up now, right? When we're just having fun conversations, I think that's one of the things, especially like when we're at the ranch, we'll see like a new couple walk in and we're like, oh, we should go talk to'em. Right? But then like they're new. They probably think everybody that walks up to'em just wants to have sex with them. Where it's we just want to be friendly and like say hi. But you just tell them that, you know? I mean, we

Elle:

do that all the time. Don't want, guys are really. Jay is amazing. Yeah. I mean, it's so funny because I've been in sales my entire life and this seems to be the one place I'm okay letting him run it. And I'll just sort of, chill and hang out.

Bryce:

Like bring in the closer. Right, right. No, no, no. No's time.

Elle:

Not even, not even that, but I have had to be on my whole life. Mm-hmm. And this is a place I could just like go be me. Mm-hmm. And just hang out, you know? Yeah. Yeah. But

Tramp:

I was gonna say, Bryce, you can always change that opinion of people, the newbies that are coming in just eyes wide open for sure. And they're think anybody who says hi is gonna want to just sport, fuck us. Just say, Hey, just welcome. Just make them feel included. And I think included,

Bryce:

I'll go up to'em, especially if I like, they're at the ranch and.

Tramp:

Yeah,

Bryce:

they're

Tramp:

sitting on a couch just side by side,

Bryce:

just like trying to minimize themselves. Looking super creepy. Trying to be invisible. Everybody, no, sometimes if I'm sitting there by myself,'cause I'll go there Uhhuh when she's not around just to hang out.'cause you know, you guys know how it is. You just, it's like a local bar is, but I'll see a new couple come in and they'll come to the bar and set their alcohol down and I'm like, I'm like, oh, you guys new. And sometimes I'll give'em a tour or everything like that. Mm-hmm. Which I think if I like, oh, I work here every once in a while, maybe. Comes across less creepy. Okay. He's, he's not just a

Tramp:

creepy dude. Well, we've had plenty of episodes about creepy single guys.

Elle:

Yes, yes. We're trying to help. We're trying to, I did a really good job. Don't, yeah, I don't,

Bryce:

I don't think we've ever had an experience necessarily with a single guy where we're like, not at a ranch. No. Yeah. We've never been approached by somebody. We're like, oh, that's creepy. Or anything like that. So,

Elle:

but do you guys go downstairs to play very often because that's generally where the

Palmer:

creepy ones might be hanging out more. True. You have to either just go down, we'll go down to like a room, just sometimes the two of us. Yeah, sure. A couple times we've ended up on the big bed, and I think you probably understand what I'm saying. Mm-hmm. Like you, you're there, but then all of a sudden, like everything around you just disappears. Yeah. And you don't notice that there's. Other people, some guy sitting there watching or whatever, right? But like right, you get immersed, like you're very much in your own. It feels like you're in your own. Room right in this big room until

Elle:

someone comes up to you later going, oh my God, you guys were so hot. And it's like, oh, you saw that, did you? Okay. We've

Bryce:

never had that experience. I don't know what you're doing now.

Elle:

Well, I must be doing it better. Yeah, apparently. Apparently.

Bryce:

Yeah. I

Elle:

have no doubt that somebody has said that to you too. No, sorry. I think we've

Bryce:

been on the big bed like three times and she's so right. It's like,'cause she'll, you just kinda like, she'll like, let's go downstairs and get on the big bed. And I go down there, I'm like, oh, there's so many people I can't like. I should do some pushups first isn't gonna help anyway. But then yeah, once you get on there, it's just, you just don't even, everything just just appears that in, that you're right, that zone and you don't even realize that there's people next to you, sometimes 20 people watching. Mm-hmm.

Elle:

Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah, it is nuts. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Don't necessarily have to be a voyeur. So, tell us maybe some of your best experiences that you have had, the two of you. Mm-hmm. In the lifestyle. I'm gonna just sit back and watch you answer this.

Palmer:

We have talked about this a lot, like leading up to this podcast. Um,'cause we don't, because of how intentional I think we are. We haven't had a lot of experiences granted, we've been together four years and have been doing this. But, I think anytime something is. Spontaneous. If that makes sense. Yes. And we're not, um, closers, we're not, we're not, uh, we're so bad we're, we don't know how to like get from, upstairs dancing to just downstairs. Like, okay,

Bryce:

we could have a couple like undressing in front of us, like ready to go. We'd be like, so should we get another drink? Whatcha guys gonna do? Yeah.

Palmer:

So maybe that's something we should work on. But anything that's spontaneous, when something's planned for me. It too much pressure. Yeah. And then inevitably somebody has too much to drink or I'm just tired or like, you know, oh, hit a wall. Anything. Right? Like the spontaneity of any situation has, is probably like a highlight for me. Like a best kind of experience. And we're, getting more brave. We're like, you wanna go downstairs? Like. Yeah. I don't know what that is. Like a Yeah, I think like innate fear of rejection

Tramp:

it's, a double-edged sword because you guys are a very attractive couple. Yes. So appreciate that. Thanks. Yeah.

Elle:

No, seriously. Like you should be getting offers all the time. I'm thinking

Tramp:

by the same token, people are going to be. Yeah. A little afraid of them being rejected. Yeah. Saying, saying, Hey, we would love to play with you guys. And you say, uh,

yeah, just

Tramp:

like you were saying earlier, Palmer, where that fear of rejection, uhhuh that innate fear of rejection and you want to try to minimize it, but I think in the lifestyle, you just kind of have to let it, let it fly and it is what it is. Mm-hmm.

Palmer:

And that's should be part of it when you're that comfortable around people. It should be easy enough to,

Bryce:

and it's so funny because we'll be at the ranch and we'll be like, oh, that's a cute couple over there. And we always will like go up to somebody like, Hey, go talk to them for us. Oh my gosh, you guys we're in middle school. Do not know. We're like, get, get it. Get. Yeah. There's certain people who just have no fear and can go up to any love probably. But I love that Jay's really, that he'll just, and I'm just like, God, I admire that so much.

Palmer:

We have lots of friends.

Elle:

Well, and sometimes that's a little bit of a crutch when you have so many friends is you're hanging out and you're talking and you're talking or you're talking. You're talking. Yes. For sure. And it does seem for us, the spontaneity mm-hmm. Are the people that are here out of town. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And of course they're here and they're out of town and they've. Drop the money and they have plans. Yeah. Like they're planning on whether they talk, which is totally fine. Talk before. Absolutely, absolutely. And those tend to be the spontaneous situations that we get caught up in. And that tends to be on Sundays where it's a longer mm-hmm. Period of time through the day. And you have more chatting and it's more relaxed. That it's that, oh wow, okay, let's go downstairs. Mm-hmm. And it's like, I was not expecting to do that at all today. Yeah. But if you get caught up into talking to the people that you know, you have a tendency to, that's where you're gonna be. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. Yeah. And

Bryce:

I think when we're at the ranch, we are generally just talking to people we know. Mm-hmm. We just love hanging out there and just kind of sitting on our, in our little spot and just people watching

Elle:

and, mm-hmm.

Bryce:

Oh yeah. Mm-hmm. It's, oh, some of the best people watching. Oh,

Elle:

yeah. We were downstairs last night and standing next to another couple, and she's like, okay, I don't normally just sit here and watch people. Mm-hmm. Like, oh, yeah. Yeah. The people watching Yes. Is. Top level. Yes.

Bryce:

You know, it's almost worth the price of admissions. Oh, for sure.

Elle:

For, and sometimes it's just so sexy uhhuh. It's like, I don't even, oh yeah. I don't need to be in the middle of that. Yeah. I'm just gonna stand back here and watch this. Seeing all the outfits and like, yeah.

Bryce:

Yeah. Mm-hmm. We love just. The themes and seeing people get dressed up. And it's so funny because at the ranch, I can sit there and see a girl. I'm like, oh my God, I love her outfit. Like, or she's just looks, she's just pretty, and I can give a compliment like that. Yeah. And but we were out at just a normal bar the other night and s bartender girl, she just was classically. Mm-hmm. Very pretty. Yeah. And I felt since it was a normal vanilla club that I couldn't tell anything. Her that because I, like, I, I don't know. Mm-hmm. But you didn't, she was very appreciative, but yeah,

Elle:

sometimes, yeah. I think it's less, intimidating coming from the woman, coming from female than from, the man. Well, yeah. Whereas at at the ranch or at another club, you can just say it. Yeah. I always appreciate it. Yeah. When someone says something to me, yeah. You know? Mm-hmm. It feel good. It's like, oh good. Well I put effort in. Thank you for noticing. Yeah, I appreciate that.

Bryce:

And that's why sometimes like even vanilla friends, it's like, God, if they just came here on a, a night and realize that, it's not just a bunch of people hooking up. Right. You can just look great. A woman that should get compliments mm-hmm. From anybody and, yeah. Yeah. It just makes people feel good and

Elle:

mm-hmm. I have a, girlfriend that I've known. For 25 years, and when Jay and I first started dating, I had let her know that we were, dabbling into the lifestyle. So she's been aware of that, and she's a single woman and I have been trying to get her to come to the ranch for mm-hmm. Five years because it is a very open place. You can feel good about yourself. Mm-hmm. There's really no judgment and I think. Mentally, it would be a phenomenal place for her to go. Mm-hmm. And she won't do it. It's like, okay, you're not gonna walk in. And there's an orgy when you walk in and people think that and it's not. And so just to have that, openness,

Palmer:

I feel like particularly women just have this idea in their head that it's just gonna be like, everybody's like perfect looking right. What I love about. The ranch is, it's to each their own. Wear what you're comfortable with. Wear what makes you feel good. Yes. Look how you wanna look. Everybody's different. It's so body positive. It's very inclusive. It's, that's one of my favorite for women, to come and experience that. Like you don't have to feel over

Elle:

self-conscious about your body shape or how you look. It's more how you feel. Yeah. And then that's what gets projected.

Tramp:

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Confidence is sexy goes incredibly goes wrong way. Right?

Elle:

Yeah. Yeah.

Tramp:

And I, have to interject a little bit with my very first experience was not jumping into the deep end. Mm-hmm. Like we talked about earlier, but during the pandemic, trying to figure out where to go on vacation and ending up at Desire Pearl.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Tramp:

And even though there weren't a lot of people, because it was during COVID. Mm-hmm. It just opened so many eyes and. Breaking through those uncomfortable barriers and just being able to relax in that environment and thinking, wow, this is really sexy. And it makes me feel really good.

Palmer:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's amazing.

Tramp:

And the ranch, I feel like this is a big commercial for the ranch, but Yes. As opposed to a lot of clubs. Mm-hmm. And I've been to other clubs in other cities where, just like you had mentioned earlier. It's just people are DTF. Mm-hmm. Yes. And that's,

Bryce:

we have been to one other club or two other clubs, and this isn't like a just big commercial for the ranch, but the ranch is, just set up different. The lighting's different. It's not what it is in other places. It's upscale. Yeah. Yeah. It's not

Elle:

dark and seedy. Yeah. You're going in knowing what to expect. Mm-hmm. This used to be a steakhouse. Yeah. It still has that upscale steakhouse feel to it. So that's why people are so surprised when they walk in and they're like, wow. You know? Yeah.

Bryce:

But I think that's also why it's a great place for people that are. Dipping their toe in Yes. Is what they say. But yeah, it's also a great place with people that maybe they don't even want to be in the lifestyle. They want to be lifestyle adjacent and just have that freedom to dress how they want to dance, how they want to be who they are. Mm-hmm. And I think that that's. I think that people that think about the lifestyle, they don't think about that aspect. Right. If you're not a lifestyle, you just think it's people hooking up all the time. That's it. Just sex all the time. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Elle:

I'm finding more and more people that are there because they like to be around people Yeah. That are free and open. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And it doesn't have to be a sex thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Bryce:

Lifestyle Jason Or lifestyle lightness.

Elle:

Yeah. I, yeah, I agree with both of those terminologies.

Tramp:

That's part of the reason why I think Sunday fun days are something that is. Quite frankly, just unparalleled.

Yeah.

Tramp:

Most clubs nationwide will not offer something like that. It's They don't, they don't, they don't have the outdoor space. Right. They don't have the, yeah. But it's great to hang out and have fantastic conversations. So it's like you go

Palmer:

from like. Saturday night, just look in Santa and then Sunday you roll in and like yoga pants. I might have put

Elle:

mascara on and my hair's in a ponytail. It might be from last night. I and I, yeah. Right. And I don't care. And no one else does. Yeah. No, not at all. I refer to it as adult summer camp. Mm-hmm. Because people are just walking around, they're chatting or they're playing cornhole, or they might be playing volleyball or going down the slide. Yeah. And we get that opportunity to just. S Chill. Mm-hmm. And, and be. Mm-hmm. And that there's, there's nothing better than that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Well that just turned into a huge commercial. I know. And, um, as, they are now one of our sponsors, I would just like to give a special shout out to the Scarlet Ranch North America's premier, upscale, private lifestyle destination. If you've been listening to our show as. Especially today, you know, many of our guests are regulars there, and it's no wonder why picture this. Two incredible bars, fun games, a top-notch restaurant, and both spacious open areas and private playrooms downstairs for when the night gets a little steamier. So if you're ready to level up your nightlife, visit scarlet ranch.com and let your next adventure begin.

Bryce:

I love that. Yeah. I support that message. I,

Elle:

right. I think we all do. Yes.

Tramp:

Well, Bryce and Palmer, in kind of closing here, is there anything else that you guys wanted to mention? Or

Elle:

advice to

Palmer:

give?

Elle:

Advice? Advice, anything to people?

Palmer:

Take it slow. Yeah. It's not going anywhere. If you're looking for a four way connection, take it really slow. Yeah. It's not gonna happen overnight. It could take years. If that's not your thing, still take it slow. Yeah. Have, have dinner. You authentic in your communication. Yeah. Yeah. Be true to yourself. Mm-hmm.

Bryce:

Yeah, don't just jump in, make good friends. I feel like a lot of people that listen to these podcasts are probably. Haven't done anything yet. They're just curious about it and they're trying to learn from it.

Mm-hmm.

Bryce:

The biggest thing is you can kind of make it what you want to make it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like they said, there's people that we meet or there's people that show up at the club, maybe they go once or twice a year. Right. And that's just the thing. They go there that night to, Hey, we're gonna do this to spice up our relationship one night. And that's great. It can be whatever you want it to be. It doesn't have to be what? It was when you first started, it can evolve, right? It's a living experience, so it can evolve into what you want it to be and you don't have to. Do things you don't want to do and mm-hmm. No, you can still have fun.

Elle:

There's, no steadfast rules on what to do. Mm-hmm. It's, it's truly unique for everybody.

Tramp:

And, and I would insert that you shouldn't do things No. You don't want to do, even if your partner may want

Palmer:

Yes.

Tramp:

Something there's Yeah.

Bryce:

Taking one for the teams should not.

Palmer:

I know. And I think that's the, you know, you get in, you're excited and, but take it slow. Yeah.

Elle:

And he's up on the booze. Yes. Because that leads to more regrets than anything else. For sure. And you wanna remember experience? Bruce has

Bryce:

never led your regrets

Palmer:

talking about No, that's a, yeah. If you visit the ranch, take it easier anywhere. Your first Yes. Yeah. Your first experience.

Elle:

Mm-hmm. Enjoy it and be present. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Bryce:

If you're new to this and you're thinking about getting into it, don't hesitate to. If you're on a, an app or something like that, reach out to a couple or you, maybe you see that they've been in for a while and just ask questions. Mm-hmm. We're everybody that's in it loves to talk about it. Yeah. And just what a great experience it is. And so you can gain a lot of information talking to people and learn from their experiences about their experiences. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Tramp:

There are highs and lows in everything in between. As we say, yes. Let other, let other people make the mistakes.

Elle:

Right, right, right.

Tramp:

Well guys, thank you so much. Yeah. It has been so much fun having you guys. I've excited. Is it over? That wasn't long enough. Oh,

Elle:

we're, we're not done. Oh, no. Is this intermission? No. Yes, this is the pause. Oh, good. This is the pause.

Tramp:

So I'm gonna call out a certain geographic. Area of people this episode, because Elle, how many emails do you think we got from our Chicago land friends?

Elle:

I believe it was zero. Yes, it was. I'm very disappointed in Chicago. And we're going to have to call on another area to see if they can come through

Tramp:

for us. Yes. So I'm gonna broaden it out a little bit. And the second largest single geographic is Florida.

Elle:

Okay. Florida, between

Tramp:

Miami, Orlando and some further out points,

Elle:

we know we have a lot of people and you went on some trips there. I have. So I know for a fact that there's at least 10 people who have listened to us in Orlando, in Florida, in the Florida that you personally know. That I personally know. So I think that somebody needs to jump on that.

Tramp:

Okay. For us, so we do have an A MA this week, but just to push it out, we're we want some AMAs from our Florida friends.

Elle:

Yes.

Tramp:

This week's a MA comes from our friends, the mountain foxes, and the question is, at what point did you consider yourself to be a swinger or in the lifestyle? Now they have two very different points of view with this, where one says that when they first visited the ranch and. The interaction didn't lead to any kind of soft swap or full swap or anything of that nature, but it was definitely beyond boundaries as far as other people touching your partner, for example. Or was it your first either full or soft swap experience? Which one? Is there one that constitutes one way or another to say I am in the lifestyle or not?

Palmer:

I think. That you either don't know what the lifestyle is like you've never even heard that term. And then you do for some reason. I think you had a podcast about this, there's kind of subsets, right? Like there's kink community, right? There's different, I think maybe lifestyle's a big umbrella. Like we know people that only come to the ranch just to dress up and yes, be a little flirty. Mm-hmm. But I. If they were to be asked if they're in the lifestyle, I don't know if what they would say, again, what about you? Me? Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Palmer:

Where was the moment? In a therapist's office who was very open about, what my ex and I were trying to do. And she just said, well, that's the lifestyle. And I'd never heard that term before. And so there, that's a very probably different answer than you were looking for.'cause okay. It was when I had heard about it and I thought, okay, well we're trying to do this. Falls in line with. What you're describing. So I, I guess that's lifestyle.

Tramp:

I would just say there's no wrong answer. No,

Palmer:

there's no.

Tramp:

Mm-hmm.

Palmer:

And it can be whatever you want it to be or make it, or, or little as, yeah. Or as much mm-hmm. As you want it to. Mm-hmm. So, yeah,

Elle:

I think it is kind of,, white out there with a broad spectrum mm-hmm. Of moments where, oh, we're swingers. Yes.

Palmer:

You know, because I feel like if you say, I'm in the lifestyle based on this or not that. Doesn't leave it open to you getting to create your own kind of path with it. Mm-hmm. Whether you wanna just be really slow and intentional, situational, adjacent, whatever. I think having a hard, I did this, so now lifestyle is kind of a tough,

Bryce:

I think my first experience in it. It wasn't necessarily so much lifestyle for me.

Mm-hmm. But

Bryce:

I think for you and I, I think we just took it so slow that all of a sudden you just like, wake up, you're like, oh, okay. Or I think we're,

Elle:

we're in the lifestyle. Yeah. But

Bryce:

it's, but it's still like our, again, our lifestyle is, I call it lifestyle light.

Mm-hmm. Like

Bryce:

it's, we're not super in, we don't play a lot, but we're mm-hmm. You know, obviously we're at the ranch a lot. But I think you guys are in it for the social. Mm-hmm. More so the social aspect. More. More so the social. But we definitely, I mean, one of our first experiences was with somebody here at this table, so,

Elle:

well, it wasn't me, so

Bryce:

we're saving the best for life. Um, but I mean, it was very like, probably just parallel play. Spontaneous, spontaneous fact. I know that night you're talking about, it was very, you talked about it. You gotta listen to past podcast yourself. But I think that was maybe one of our first, okay, we're, that was a good, yeah, get us into it and mm-hmm. Again,

Elle:

spontaneous, it wasn't planned out. You're like, okay, we're gonna go to dinner and then we're gonna have a drink, and then we're gonna go to someone's house and then we're gonna, do this and that. It was, oh, look at us. We're just having a sexy time and this is good. Yeah. Yeah.

Tramp:

I would venture to say that there's not one act or something definitive. Mm-hmm. It's a frame of mind.

Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.

Tramp:

So if you find yourself we go to the ranch, or to any club. Mm-hmm. I, I'm just, I just wanna spread it out. Or you actively seek lifestyle, at least lifestyle adjacent, whether it be temptation or desire or hido or whatnot. If you actively seek those things out

mm-hmm. You

Tramp:

don't necessarily have to jump in the deep into the pool.

Yeah. But

Tramp:

if that's your groove and you really enjoy that

Bryce:

hell

Elle:

mm-hmm. That's it. Your lifestyle. Yeah, sure.

Bryce:

And I think that that's what scares so many people off from the term lifestyle, or is anything, is they think that you have to jump in and next thing you know, that's a full-blown like orgy going on. Not that it's what now? I

Tramp:

have been in those and those are a lot of fun to, to be fair, I'm not, I'm not saying that you don't, please do not dis I'm not saying you don't get there, but,

Elle:

but I think there's a difference, lifestyle, like you said, is, encompassing a lot of different things. Yes. It could be kink, it could be swinging, it could be, and then swinging, you know, is the question then, are you a swinger? Mm-hmm. And a swinger isn't so much a mindset. It is you and your spouse or you are playing with. Other people. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And um, so maybe that's where the terminology is, different lifestyle is just encompassing an attitude, like you said. I agree with

Palmer:

that. I think you'll probably notice, we were talking about this before at the ranch. It's trending towards a, a much younger generation starting to, and I think that's just their mindset. I think that's their normal is Right? Like we are open. We're, which is great. I love it. Yeah. But yeah, you kind of notice a shift in. Right. Like, they're like, what's lifestyle? We just, this is just what we do. This what we do.

Elle:

Yeah. Right? Mm-hmm. Right. And, and so normalizing it. Mm-hmm. Whereas for us, it's like woo

ooh. Yeah. Lifestyle. And I, I think next

Tramp:

10 years is gonna be very interesting. Mm-hmm. To watch, just to watch and see how it all unfolds. Particularly with a younger generation coming in. Yeah. Would you say that the demographic potentially is. Maybe dropping a little bit. Yes. Because yes, I

Palmer:

think so.

Tramp:

Traditionally it would be, or I'm just getting older. I don't,

Elle:

and just everybody's younger. We don't age. Come on, let's, well, that is the beauty of this. It helps you to not age. Yeah. Yes. You know? Well, you

Tramp:

take care of yourself. Yeah. Right. You do.'cause

Elle:

there, you know, you want to project something sexy and Oh, absolutely. You know, attractive to anyone else. Mm-hmm. And yourself. I mean, I find most of this is so that I feel good about me.

Mm-hmm.

Elle:

If you like how I look, then that's fantastic. What a great bonus. But I feel good about how I look. Mm-hmm. And I think that's, a focus. Oh, a hundred percent. You know? Yeah. And I

Bryce:

think that's one of the things, like if you're out with vanilla friends and you like your friend's, you know, partner looks nice and you want to give them a compliment, you're hesitant to do that because you're like, I don't wanna piss, like

Yeah. Offend

Bryce:

her or offend him, or offend anybody. Whereas in the lifestyle, no matter where you're at, you can do that. And. You're not offending anybody. It's well, hopefully not right. We've all come across those situations. Where did

Elle:

you just talk to her? Right? Well, you know, it's so funny because about a month ago I was at my high school reunion and I was giving a hug. To a guy friend that I've known for, oh, maybe years. And, I gave him a kiss on the cheek. Mm-hmm. It was a kiss on the cheek and he's like, oh, hey, so we're doing a kiss on the cheek. Are we? And I'm like, oh shit. Is that not acceptable? Damnit seemed like it was natural

Bryce:

in the late nineties when you graduated high school. It wasn't like that. Oh, you're so funny. So that's the,

you're

Elle:

so

Bryce:

cute.

Palmer:

I wish we get a lot of stuff So sweet. I think, I don't know. We talked about this the other night. We went, there were like 20 of us. We went to a play downtown.

Elle:

Mm-hmm.

Palmer:

Yeah. Um, and took a big group picture and posted it. And I'm examining the picture, like we all look good, like we're all wearing, right? Sure. Something cute, sexy. But somebody's friend had made a comment on our picture. That says something about, is this a swingers convention? Or, and I, oh, shit. I'm looking and looking at the picture like, like what would've, we're all with our partners, we're all like, you're dressed. What's giving this away?

Bryce:

If you are older and you get dressed up, sexier like that. Yeah. People aren't used to seeing that in Right, in typical like suburban life. Mm-hmm. And so when they see it, it's like, oh, well, what's going on? What's going on here? Yeah. I think

Tramp:

I would reframe it a little bit. In that picture, you could see that people put in the effort. Effort. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And it's not just so why are you putting the effort? Yeah. It's not just for the evening. It's whether they, they look amazing and they've been to the gym, obviously, but they want to be the best version mm-hmm. Of themselves.

Elle:

Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right. And, maybe other people our age don't. Mm-hmm. See that they need to do that. Mm-hmm. I'm sorry, I wanna live the best life I can. I know.

Bryce:

In the lifestyle. Yeah. Get you get dressed up and get sexy and feel good every like once a month, if not, and that's healthy for everybody's. Mm-hmm.

Elle:

Well, and seriously, you guys always look outstanding. The theme. Well either with the theme or even just dressed up. I mean, Jay and I were talking about it before. Bryce, you always. Maybe not this morning, but you always look, you know, but you're talking, I went to Bed Earth last night, said, I'm look good for you.

And that's what I get.

Elle:

No, no, no. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But down to your shoes, you, it's, I mean, you make that effort and it's, it's so wonderful when the men do that.'cause so often you'll see the women do. Mm-hmm. And the guys just look like a dude. Yeah. We have some

Bryce:

friends. Some friends, and if he ever listens to this, he's, he'll know who I'm talking about. But just show us up in the same t-shirt and cargo shorts and, Hey dudes. Oh, come on, come on. You know who you are. Step it up.

Elle:

Right, right. I mean, she made an effort. You should too, because I'm sorry, it's not just about Yes. Palmer. Getting attention from somebody. You both want it. Mm-hmm. I just try to keep up with her. Right.

Tramp:

That's fair. Yeah. Well, I think, and not to get too far off topic. Mm-hmm. But women in general, not only do you compliment each other openly, you get compliments from the gentleman.

Mm-hmm.

Tramp:

Guys in general, we don't get a lot of fair. Yeah. I try to, if

Elle:

someone's made effort, I mm-hmm. I will. Yeah, let them know. Yeah. Because who doesn't want a compliment? Right? Of course. For sure. And that's going to make you do it more. It is like, oh wow, okay, well I had somebody noticed, two people notice that I made that effort. I'm gonna do that again.'cause that feels good, right?

Tramp:

Mm-hmm. Or try to take it to the next level and a little of the game. Little attention to detail. Of course.

Elle:

Yeah. For sure.

Tramp:

Well, guys, let's go ahead and wrap it up and I'm briefly gonna talk about shivers. Shivers is an edible CBD derived sensation enhancer, and there are two specialized formulas, one for men and one for women. And let me tell you, these things are amazing for me. They kick in after 30 to 60 minutes, and not only do they give me a nice energy boost, but every touch is magnified. It truly does send those wonderful shivers right down your spine, but it doesn't end there. Not only is my pleasure increase, but the next day I wake up feeling great, just not all groggy or hungover. In many instances, this may replace alcohol for me at lifestyle events, I feel good. I'm relaxed, and everything is just better, especially when I get a chance to play. We would love for you guys to try them out. And we've arranged a special discount@shivers.store on any of their products. Just use the coupon code us for unapologetic swingers at checkout for 10% off your order. A link can also be found on our website and just be sure to let us know what you think. So Bryce and Palmer, this has been simply amazing and we are so thankful that you took time to come and visit and talk with us, and we are excited to have you both on. Oh, we've been excited. Of course. Yeah. I feel like this went by super fast.

Elle:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was easier than you thought. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Tramp:

Just talking, talking. We're gonna go ahead and wrap up this episode. And again, we are just so thankful that everyone listening has chosen to tune in and listen to us.

Elle:

I can't wait to hear what Florida has to say. Yeah, I'm looking forward to that too. Yeah.

Bryce:

And we just wanna say when we were on a road trip, we were flipping through podcasts to listen to lifestyle podcasts because I can't listen anymore. True crime.'cause she's gonna end up having we too many ideas. Yeah, I know. I'm, don't you better not listen. But we listened to yours and we loved it, loved the format and everything. So we were so excited to be able to. Hop on here with you guys, so really appreciate doing a great job. Appreciate being Thank you.

Elle:

We thank you. We thank you know, I mean, I love that you're our fans. It's been so fun in more, in more way than one. In more way than one. Aw, that's even

Tramp:

nicer. And, and even more so that you're. We consider you guys friends. Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yes.

Palmer:

Yeah, for sure.

Tramp:

But everyone, if you need to reach out to us, we can be reached at unapologetic swingers@gmail.com. Our website is also unapologetic swingers.com, where you can find links to all of our sponsors and episodes and all that good stuff.

Elle:

Yay. So if anyone has an ask me anything, then please reach out. We always enjoy having that. It's some fun to listen to, right? From a listener. I wanna hear, I mean, we try to think of what we can, but it's fun to hear other people's questions. So any burning question you have and let's, throw'em out there. Don. Shy. Be shy, right? Don't be shy. Be honest. Go for it. Unapologetically anonymous. It's really fine. We won't, we won't say your name if you don't want us to. Until next time, I'm Elle

Tramp:

and I'm the tramp.

Elle:

Be sexy,

Tramp:

be confident.

Elle:

Be unapologetic.