Unapologetic Swingers
Follow us on our sexy adventures and sometimes misadventures as we find our way through the swinging lifestyle.
Unapologetic Swingers
Unapologetic Swingers: EP 30 - Unzipped - The Men's Episode
Today Jay and the Tramp are joined by Justin as we dive into the locker room of men's issues in the lifestyle
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Welcome back to Unapologetic Swingers. I'm Jay, and I'm the Tramp, and just like I say every single episode, thank you so much for coming on this journey with us as we explore the lifestyle, the highs and lows and everything in between, just based on our own very unique experiences.
Jay:Today we have a episode of Man Talk, we have Justin with us who I think you guys are gonna enjoy hearing his story and his take on multiple topics. Hi Justin.
Justin:Hey guys. How's it going? One, thanks for having me.
Tramp:Welcome we don't have a firm format. Similar to the All Girls episode that El did a little while ago we're just gonna let this conversation flow and it's gonna go where it's gonna go. I know I have some things I want to bring up and kind of get other men's perspective on it.
Jay:I think that's awesome. Justin is partnered with Nikki who was on the All Girl Podcast, and so he's smiling pretty big right now. Excited to be here.
Justin:Yeah, I'm totally honored. It was great. I, she was honored to be on it and the episodes that she did was, that was really interesting. It was good. You learn a lot. So yeah. I'm excited to have our conversation today. Me too.
Jay:Do you wanna start with your background story and how you got here?
Justin:Yeah. Yeah. So several years ago, I was in a relationship and we actually got married for a short period of time, and about a month before. We got married, she came to me and said that she wanted to be a swinger. And she had only been one man before, which is really crazy. And man, I cried. I cried. I, I, I was heartbroken. Like, how could she want to be with other men? And but she told you before the wedding versus like two weeks after? Yeah. Well we have friends that told it on the night of the honeymoon that they wanted to be a swinger. At least she gave me the option to bail out, which I didn't. I just said no. And after. Four or five months of saying no, I finally said yes and started out listening to podcasts like this and trying to figure out the whole culture. And by the way, I didn't even know that it's absolutely huge here in Colorado. There's just so many lifestyle people and it was always under my nose the whole time. I didn't ever know anything about it. And so this whole new world opened up and it's really been a great experience. And unfortunately for reasons unrelated to anything lifestyle. That relationship ended. And then I was at a work event in Cancun and I saw the head of finance running on the beach. I'm like, who the hell is that? And it was Nikki and I met her that was on Thursday. On Friday we were flirting, man. And I mean, she's kind of high profile and my role's kind of high profile too. And I mean, we were flirting so bad in front of everybody and we got into this who's kin here? The who game? And I'm all this is the person I work with, right? And I said, well, I'm a, swinger. And she goes. I'm a unicorn. Oh my. She knows what that word is. I didn't even know anything about it. Right. And the whole Heavens opens
Jay:and Angel the heavens, angel, angels sang. Yes,
Justin:yes. And so I immediately whispered in her ear and I said, when we get together tonight, are we gonna have to tell hr? And she said, Nope. And so that night we got together and, and by the way, I found out later that HR actually reports up through her, so I didn't have anything to worry about. And that night. I, man, I remember. She's a, she's a big partner in the company. It's a big global company. And I gave her a facial the first night. Anyway, I woke up the next morning. I thought, I, I, I've gone, oh my God, what have I done too far? I've gone, what, what have I done? What have I, and I'm like, this is, gonna have consequences. Anyway, I saw her the next day. It was totally great. And now here we are a couple years later. We've been together several years and so we are one of the ones that have been in the lifestyle since day one. In fact, we were on Cassidy even before she moved in with me. So it may has been a great experience. It's,
Jay:and full disclosure, and a slight sidebar, last night, he hosted a big swinger birthday party for Nikki, which we were all at.
Justin:I thought it was one of the best parties that I, I've been to in a while. We had strippers,
Jay:male strippers,
Justin:male strippers, freshly hotly, waxed male strippers who had a very, very good time after their strip shows were over. Yes, I'm
Jay:sure El will tell her side of that adventure at some point.
Justin:I'm sure Elle will too. Yes. And there was lots of funky stories. Plus we had like a some other lifestyle friends of ours were professional DJs, so they bought equipment and we had the lights and the, the big sound system and lots of people. It was a great night. Yes, it was a great party with. Th
Tramp:Yeah. Just great people. Yes. And I met up with some friends that I had kind of lost track with that just happened to also be on the guest list. Yep. And it was really good just to catch up. That's what's great about the lifestyle community, especially as you said here in Colorado, there's a lot of people and it is an amazing and supportive community.
Justin:It is. It is. And and you know, it's a tight knit community. You get to know lots of friends, but then again, you throw a party like that. We threw the party and we threw it with another gal in the lifestyle also. It was her birthday and they invited a lot of people. And so wound up that even though it was our party, it was still a lot of people that we didn't know. And so it's so much fun to come together. Everybody's like-minded and. You know, tits her out and everybody's having sex everywhere and everybody's making out with everybody. It was all accepting and just a great lighthearted culture. It was, it was fun, fun night.
Jay:So going back to previously you, you and Nikki hook up and have an amazing time. How long then, before you started inviting others in
Justin:to join? Yeah, so right off the bat, she was in a situation, and if you listen to the podcast earlier where Nikki was on it, she tells the story, but she was in a failed marriage. A lot of people who don't really understand anything about the lifestyle, which they didn't, it was supposed to be something that was supposed to save the relationship. It absolutely didn't wait.
Jay:Swinging didn't save relationship, save a failing marriage.
Justin:Can you believe that? I know, I've seen so many successful attempts at it. No, it, yeah, it did. It didn't work. Yeah. So then I must say it was right off the bat and with another couple, yes. Just couples and then it was. We went on the big November Bliss cruise last year. The one was 6,000 people and probably half the listeners. Yes. Including you were there., A lot of us were there and that was our first. Threesome with a gal. It was one where we met a couple for dinner and hit it off and we really liked her and he just kind of faded away and we propositioned her and she came in and it was great. So that was the first time that we did anything other than two on two, and it was great. And since then we have got one single male. And it's been a great experience. Wow. I mean, you know, it's something especially nice about that.'cause I took a long time in saying no on single males and she's bisexual. She was always down with single women. And of course I am too. But whenever we had the single male come, watching them play, I didn't have to worry about a woman. All the attention was on her. It was hot and Awesome.
Jay:So you enjoy watching Nikki play, boys or girls? I do on both. How was she
Justin:watching you? She is wonderful. Okay. To give you an example the first time we got with a single gal on the November cruise, she took a break and I was on the bed just tearing this woman up and Nikki was over on the couch and she actually was over there squirting. Just watching'cause it was so hot to her. And she told me the story. I was blown away that it did it, did that happen? I'm like, how lucky am I that she likes watching that. But I love watching her with guys and girls and guys and girls both at the same time. I love watching her. So it is fun. It's like live pornography with the person you love. Yeah. That
Tramp:is Justin. What you're describing is just pure compersion. How you can take joy or pleasure in your partner's, pleasure.
Justin:Yeah. It's, it's, the whole thing I've come to the conclusion it's that, I love her so much and I just want to see her happy. She's happy when that's happening. Yes. I assure you that
Jay:LL was very happy with a stripper last night.
Justin:I bet. Yeah. Yes. And the feedback from the strippers that he was really, really happy with L too, so, so is
Jay:that the only cruise you've done so far?
Justin:No, so right. When Nick and I got together, we did the temptation crews, and if any of the listeners are out there are considering the temptation crews, the lifestyle, there were about a thousand people on the boat. And we suspect about 200 were actually lifestyle. So it wasn't a lifestyle cruise, like the bliss cruise, right? It was more like, maybe a virgin cruise where there's a facet of lifestyle on there. But if anybody wants to go and actually be on a real lifestyle cruise, you either do bliss or the desire cruise.
Tramp:Well, even having visited desire multiple times, both locations. Yeah. Even there you'll find that it's not all lifestyle people. There are are a number of guests that they just like the nudity, they like the sexy environment, and they'll be social, don't get me wrong, but that's about the extent of their boundaries. They're not necessarily down to play or full swap or anything of that nature. They just really relish in that. Sexy, immersive environment.
Justin:Yeah. And you know, I don't know if you guys have noticed when you go on these cruises, most of those nudists, they're usually older, they're usually kinda retirement age and easy there, chief. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They, they most seem definitely older than you, but Nikki and I went earlier this year. We went to Caliente in, Tampa? Yeah. Kind of Tampa Bay area. Yeah. Tampa Bay area. And we had never done anything nude before, and the last day we were there, you know, I'm sitting there. And I see all these people coming and going. It's like, alright, listen man, if these guys can be nude, I can man up and take my bathing suit off and do it. So the last day we went and walked around the whole complex buck nude and I got it. I, I saw the vision of just being nude. It was kind of nice to have your tally whacker, just getting some sun and walking around it. There's like a free feeling. And so I can see why so many of the retirees. They went on that path too. And you also get to the point where, a little bit, where you just don't freaking care. You, you, anybody can see you. But outside of that, there's a good contingency of nudists on this bliss cruises, you know? And, a lot of'em are not, not lifestyle. At all. They're just there. They like the sexy environment.
Jay:Lifestyle
Justin:adjacent, lifestyle adjacent. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I, I mean, a lot of them don't even kiss anyone, but for the most part, the bliss cruise if you're lifestyle. It was, it was, it was fantastic. Yeah. It's like kinda like fish shooting a fish in a barrel, you know.
Jay:Now have you done any of the resorts?
Justin:Yes, we did. Desire. Riviera Maya. Yeah. Rm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We went once and it was great. We went and, wound up playing with the former NFL cheerleader. It was great. But you know,
Jay:wow. He just glossed right over that one. Our male listeners are going, what team? What team?
Justin:Yes, she was Tampa Bay Bucks cheerleader. Yeah. And she was great. She was, she was, she was great, Nikki and I are a little bit more about. Doing some kinda activities. That's we all, we love a cruise.'cause you can go and you can do stuff or you can sit and do absolutely nothing, and you can meet people in the hot tub and everything and desires. Got a huge hot tub. But yeah, I got some stories about what happened in that hot tub, but it was cool. So that's a, good place. But I really think for the money that you spend, you can do a wheat cruise. For what you do, probably four days at desire. Yeah. Their price points have really shot up. Yeah, I think probably outside of a cruise, it's probably the best option. So there's a lot of people that don't want to get on a boat. You know, there's a lot of people get seasick or just for whatever reason, don't want to get on a boat, and that's a great option. But, you get on a boat and you got seven days to close the deal. You know, multiple deals. Multiple deals, and there's just so many people, there's, we all have our lanes, right, and there's, there's a lane for everyone. You know, there's good looking couples that are the types that you would connect with. And there's more than you could ever play with in a week on every cruise ship.
Jay:Are you going on one again soon? Yes, we're going on the November. We will see you there. Yeah, baby.
Justin:Yes. Yes. I think there'll be, we'll just do the, do the nod as we pass by in the mezzanine. That's right. Yeah. We both know you we're doing our thing, you know? Yep. We're, we're, we're in the business of closing business. Yeah.
Jay:We'll see you back in Denver and we'll tell compare notes. Yeah, that's
Tramp:right. Now, since this is. The guy's episode and we can talk openly and freely. I know getting into the lifestyle. I had my own personal hurdles and complications that arose. If it's all right with you guys, I kind of like to cover some of those. Both Jay and Justin, what you guys have been through? Whether it was good things or maybe not so good things. Yeah. As, you've experienced more and more I tend to focus on early on'cause I had some difficulties and trying to get over those humps.
Jay:And tramp being a single male, we took him to the birthday party and it's not about him trying to hit on women. It's about him getting to know couples. Because once you are inclusive with a couple, even as friends, they're gonna introduce you to other couples and they're the women who want to play with you tramp. And there are the husbands who are okay watching and everything else, but it's tough for the single guys.
Tramp:It really is. That's something that I've always, even when. I was partnered up. Something that I have trouble with. There are some guys who are very forward and aggressive and a lot of women are very open to that. They can go up and kiss someone right in front of their husband, for example, or right in front of their partner. And personally, I have a hard time crossing over that bridge. Because in the back of my mind, I'm always thinking, well, is it within their boundaries? Could I cause drama? Which is the last thing I want to do. But just as with El and I, neither of us are fire starters, so no, they're not it. It oftentimes comes across as well, oh, the tramp just isn't interested where I am. But
Jay:you're a gentleman.
Tramp:Yeah. Very much and sometimes to my own detriment.
Jay:And I don't think I've ever seen you at our club without Nikki. You guys have always been there together.
Justin:Yeah, I went once and she went once to play with a gal about a month ago, and that's the only time we've ever gone solo.
Jay:El was in San Diego this whole past week, and I go to the ranch and I'll tell you, even married guys will be treated differently by couples they even know. If their partner isn't there.
Justin:Yeah. I've seen you there several times solo and Yeah. It, it is a different feeling. It was like whenever I was there and I was meeting new people. There were all kinds of other people that we knew that would come up and be like, we're gonna verify he's not alone. You know? And it would've been fine, if I was solo, but it was a whole different dynamic, But the single guy thing, the back of what you were saying, this tramp of the single guy thing yeah, I think some women do like a single guy just to come up and start kissing him, but that's probably not a winning proposition when you're talking about odds. Right? Most of us don't like that. But we have one single guy that we have a great relationship with, and he was at the party last night. And I want the guy to be successful. I'm impressed by him. He's an awesome guy. He's good looking, super fit. He's got his life together, he just happens to be divorced over the last little, couple years. And he was in a lifestyle before. And we invited him and we introduced him to just about everybody. In fact, before the party, I was giving him the rundown on which couples to go and talk to. And he actually texted me this morning and was. Giving me kind of an update of how it went, you know? But so much of that is just because of the personal relationship we have with him. Yeah. And, he's like, oh my gosh, this is like kind of hitting the jackpot. And, I mean, that party last night was a jackpot for all of us. Right. The other
Jay:stripper Hollywood, eh he and I were chatting and he literally was like, how do I get into this? How do I get into this community? I'm single, you know? And, l reached out to him this morning and like, we'll meet you at the ranch and we'll introduce you to couples and then you'll become friends and couples will invite you to meet other couples and before you know it, you're going to be rocking this. You know?
Justin:Yeah. I think the single thing, like we use here in Colorado, we use Cassidy, and I think it's probably like match.com or whatever you got. 5% of the guys getting all the girls right? This guy would get all the single women he is. If, if you guys should have seen him. He is, he's ripped. He's got a six pack. Life would be very good for him. 35. Yeah. Ripped has moves, obviously. Uhhuh. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a nice ass too.
Jay:Yeah.
Justin:The ladies like both the talent last night. Yeah, both were both were they were. They were hot. Yeah. Yeah.
Jay:But, but then he'll show up and of course you give the single guys the same advice. Introduce yourself to the man first. First compliment to the woman is through the man., Your lady looks so sexy, and if there's a theme for God's sakes dress, and of course they're strippers. They have no, no trouble wearing costumes. That's right. One was a cowboy and the other was a, a cop. So, yeah.
Justin:Yeah. I think probably all of us that have been in a relationship in the lifestyle, if a single guy comes up and I, I see him talking to Nikki and trying to flirt, it's over. I mean, it's, it is never gonna get off the ground, you know,
Jay:because he didn't introduce himself to you first. That's
Justin:not how you play it. Yeah. That's not how you play it. But on the other hand we have a single girl who there is some drama around this party. She never invested any time in Nikki. And I always had a thing with her and we'd flirt and we'd make out Nikki freaking hated her because she didn't invest the time and go through her. Yeah. And it actually was so much drama. And this girl was gonna come last night, and Nikki actually called her and, and disinvited her, because she got rubbed so wrong that she didn't go through her. Yeah, to get to me Now, contrast that there was another gal that was there at the party that we've played with and we want to play with her again. She was absolutely fantastic. She's, she's married, she was there with her husband, but we played with her on a solo basis and she absolutely put all of her time and effort towards Nikki, and she's basically heterosexual. And, she built up that relationship. What did Nikki do? Green, green, light, open door, we want to have our lasting relationship, but really both these women, super attractive, both intelligent, both smart and funny and interesting, but one did it the right way and the other did it the wrong way, and one got disinvited to the party. And the other one is a Let's do more. Let's do more. That's fantastic advice. Thank you for that.
Tramp:Yeah. That's obviously applicable for not only single. Males, but also single females in this scenario. I do think that, as Jay mentioned, single males, let's be honest, they're, a dime a dozen. We've all seen them at the clubs and they're creepy and they don't, they don't talk. You can almost always tell a weird single male because they'll sit at the bar and then they may do the loop. Kind of around the club. Then they'll go right back to their seat and
Jay:they don't engage, or then they go down to the play space and stand dangerously close, hoping that the woman's gonna be so turned on. She just needs another, another cock. You know,
Justin:and you know, you gotta think some, I was about to say, you gotta think that it works.'cause every single time I've been down there, if you guys haven't been to the ranch, it's got a downstairs area where everybody plays. And one of the areas is there's a bed and there's curtains. So you can leave the curtains open or closed. And every time I've been down there playing with Nikki, there's been a single guy right there. Of course, they all. She's really pretty, they all, she's
Jay:very pretty,
Justin:very fit. She is, she's a bikini model and they all are there. Hey man, hey man, can I get in on that? And it's like, no, but you appreciate you asking and being respectful. But it must work one, one outta 20 times. Yes, one outta 20 times. It's a numbers game. But you know, not all the single guys are creepy, but boy, there's plenty.
Jay:And that's my point with just a little advice. The good ones can stand out. Yes. And their lives and the people they meet will be much improved for it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Tramp:Agreed. It all boils down to communication. Being respectful and respect also has to be earned. It's not given. Mm-hmm. So that's why Jay, as you said, approached the husband.
Jay:Have that
Tramp:good conversation.
Jay:I got to play with a couple last week with Elle's permission. Met them, delightful. Talked to him first, complimented her, and then introduced him to another couple since they were outta town. And then I walk away, and then later they circle around. She's now touching my arm. You know, you guys are very sexy. I hope you're having a great time. I gotta go talk to someone. I step away again. Third time she literally grabs me and is like, I think you're really hot, and I think we should, make something happen. And they had never had a, a second guy. They'd only been just one-on-one.
Justin:That's an
Jay:honor. Yeah. That's what I said. Yeah. She had never had two men just give her all the attention. She just loved it. She just absolutely loved it, and he loved giving it to her. So it was a good time. But again, there are ways to play. Some women like the aggressive approach. If you've proven yourself, they're watching you. If you're a single guy, the couples that are interested are watching you.
Justin:Yeah. It's so interesting is everybody's an individual, and we all have things that turn us on and off. And it might be completely different for us three, nikki is one of those few women that she needs an aggressive guy. To come on to her, to touch her, to compliment her. And there has been several guys that have on, on the original viewing. It's like, no. And then it turns out the guy's super confident and he really is aggressive towards coming onto her. I mean, I could be really aggressive, you know, and really, really go after it. And she likes that. And I can't tell you how many times we've had relationships with couples go down in flames because the guy hung back. But you take another couple who we're really close with, man, I totally turned her off. So I didn't really think, this is why you call it the lifestyle. It's because you spend so much time investing and trying to build up these relationships. And out of all, I think all of us and everybody in the lifestyle who's listening. We all have lots and lots of lifestyle friends, but you only play with a very few of them because it's so hard to get that match, you know? And the single guys, we've been approached by tons of single guys. But why is it that only one, it's because it's just so happens to be that he lines up with the way that we are. And so
Tramp:I think on a much higher interpersonal level as far as couples are concerned. You and Nikki are able to communicate and reinforce that. I like this behavior a as far as when you have an opportunity to interact with another female and vice versa with her, it gives you confidence. Mm-hmm. It gives you the supreme confidence that we're in a good spot. We've done our communication, we've cut our teeth per se, and. Not that you can do no wrong, but at the end of the day you are supremely confident that you guys are good.
Justin:So last night's a great example of that. We are by no way the shining beacon of great communication, but last night we went and it was her birthday party. So we invited who we wanted to invite and. Before the party started, I certainly don't have control over Nikki. She is her own person, but as we know, there needs to be mutual consent for any play that we do or else there's issues. And we talked about it before and I gave her the list of the green light. Men that I'm okay with her playing with. So she went in and then she didn't have to worry, she didn't have to ask questions. She didn't have to tap me on the shoulder to take a back into the room. She didn't have to do anything. It was already the green light, and she gave me the green light for every woman at the party now that the one that she disinvited didn't come. So it was a great story of pre-consent, consent.
Jay:I love that. Let's let's talk about best and worst. Obviously last night was one of your best parties that you've hosted but you've had bad experiences and great experiences. We don't need to revisit the cheerleader, but tell us, tell us what you, you've had out there. What do you think?
Justin:By the way, the last night was the first party that we threw and wow, what a great, what a great showing. Say it better not
Tramp:be the
Justin:last. Yeah. Good. Good. I'm glad you feel that way. Yeah, we have had almost all great experiences. The thing that's kinda different with us is that most of the time Nikki has a good time and I have a great time and that has been a common theme. But, we probably the biggest lesson learning. Experience that we had was, we were in the April Bliss cruise, which was awesome. The very first night we connected with a couple and I am a former Mormon and they were former Mormon and we just hit it off and, and the guy was aggressive and the gal was just, just absolutely smoking and we just got it off. We invited them up to our room and as soon as they walked in the door, I'm throwing her dress off. I mean, I mean, we go at it like teenagers and I see in my peripheral vision there's Nikki with the guy and he's finger banging her and she's already starting to sound like she's getting ready to start coming and, and. I had such an amazing chemistry. We all know in the lifestyle, every once in a while you have amazing chemistry With someone. Oh yeah. And yes, and this was one of those, and I mean, I was pulling her hair and I was choking her and it was like, I don't know, 20 or 30 minutes into it and I look over and the whole time the poor guy is sitting there and poor Nikki. And the guy couldn't get it up. She was sitting there humiliated and it was kind of his attitude, Hey listen, I've had times where I couldn't get it up. And that happens. That for sure happens, but it was kind of a drab story and she really felt absolutely justifiable. That I had abandoned her.
Jay:Mm. And I had been there. Yes. Guys, if, you're having the time of your life, you got to check in with your other half. Even if she's under somebody, you reach over and we call it the double squeeze, a wrist or an ankle. You just give the two. Squeeze real quick says, I'm here. I see you because I got really into it. An experience like that, and same result. It wasn't that you were having a good time, it's that you forgot I was there. And that's exactly, yes, and I own that.
Justin:Well, that's good that you feel that way. I feel the same way.'cause there's no other way to feel. I mean, I abandoned her. You know, you have other things like alcohol or whatever party drugs you're doing, and you just get so excited and you're so into the person and, you know, you're like, holy crap, this is just great. And the whole time I'm not thinking about her. And that was bullshit. It was bullshit. It was my fault. And I felt terrible. And it just about ruined. The rest of the cruise, remember it was the first night and we were not able to even engage and play with another couple or try to engage for about a month and a half or two months after that cruise because of that experience.
Jay:You know, there's other things than fucking is there the couple? Yeah. Is there though the couple I was with, I, I have a tough time downstairs at the ranch. It's so loud and, people talking and they're right outside the curtains and I was having trouble so. Fingers and tongues, it still just kept going, kept going, and she loved every minute of it,
Justin:well, that's, that's great. I have, I personally have issues with when it's just us and another girl. I mean, I'm rockstar. I am able to get it up and everything, but when I got that other wiener in the room, it's what does it for me in the head? Or being in a place that seems really public like that, where there's all lots of people, it's distracting, man. It's hard. It's hard Sometimes.
Tramp:I'm gonna be very vulnerable with something that I haven. Shared on the podcast ever before, but when I first got into the lifestyle I was with my ex, I was overwhelmed. I was mentally turned on, but literally nothing. You, you could try to raise the dead and even the dead weren't raising, if you get my drift, and then it happened again and again. And I started to get pretty damn severe anxiety to the point of we would meet another couple at the ranch and be like, yeah, let's go downstairs. I could actually feel my heart start to increase i'd break out in a cold sweat, and it was just pure anxiety. So going down that rabbit hole, you try the little blue pill and all the other stuff at a certain point just to. To be brutally honest, I decided to go the nuclear option. So I went and talked to my doc and dove into the realm of triax, and for those of that are unaware, it's basically the porn star drug where it is a needle in the dick.
Justin:A very, very tiny needle that you cannot feel,
Tramp:oh, for the most part, it's a little prick. Yes, but what that allowed me to do was relax. There was no pressure. I knew that I could perform and it just took off all the pressure. So while I don't need it all the time, it's nice to have. That backup, that confidence booster, I guess you could say. Some may call it a crutch and yeah, it's
Jay:swinger, the ultimate swinger insurance
Tramp:and I have no problem saying, yeah, I, I use it and I've been successful with it. Again, don't need it all the time. It's not any, anything else in psychological. I know that, but Justin, just as you said, especially when your partner is left wanting. You know, with sir floppy cock, then you, you feel horrible in those situations. Just as you said, you are having the time of your life and she felt left out. She felt abandoned. I don't know how preachy I wanna get on this, if you have a problem, there are solutions out there.
Justin:Yeah, so something, at least my experience that probably the listeners ought to know is I've gone that Route two, and I was given a prescription for Triax and I wasn't even given the antidote. And the first time I tried it out, I wound up in the emergency room. And then the second time I wound up in the emergency room and I went back and found out, well, there's bmx, which is a fraction of the potency and that has been the thing that has worked for me. But that's something that, you know. I went to a urologist and the urologist really wasn't that good at knowing what was going on. I used an online pharmacy, Olympia Pharmacy, and they have people and they really understand the game. I would for advice for the listeners, I would go there. I wouldn't go to your local urologist. Yeah.
Jay:Olympia Pharmacy out of Florida. Look'em up online. Yep.
Tramp:And I would also caution. Just as you said Justin, it sounds like your doctor didn't dial you in. It's not like a Tylenol or Ibuprofen or whatever where, oh, you have a headache, you take one or two or whatever. Every man is going to be unique, which is why you hear about people sharing their drugs at a club when another guy's having problems. Guys that is so don't do it dangerous. You don't know how that other man is gonna react. And how would you feel if you inadvertently, he did wind up in the emergency room because his cock was rock hard for hours. It's, it starts to get painful.
Jay:Our, our single male friend that, you know yeah, he. Use some of mine. I said, are you sure? He was very adamant that, oh, I, I, you know, and I'm like the tiniest of dose and he was in the hospital. It's like he probably should be Bix, not trimix.
Justin:Yeah, it was a learning experience. Sounds like it. It was
Jay:kind of scary,
Justin:but on the other hand, when that stuff works, you are rock and roll. It is Absolutely. You have got a sword for the night that is so much fun and you especially when you're in a morum with multiple people. I mean, there's enough to go around. When you're rock hard, especially the older, I mean, I'm 52 and I've never had a problem just outside of lifestyle events, but boy, you're right. It's the, the stress, the people talking. But boy, when it works, it works.
Jay:That leads to, you're playing with multiple partners and not everybody uses condoms. Even if you are guys, if you're gonna play with multiple females, you need to clean up in between. Just jump into the bathroom, give yourself a quick wash with a washcloth. It's just good hygiene,
Justin:well, something that you noticed last night. We have a friend that was making out with girls and fingering them, and they were, he was doing one girl after another on the dance floor. I don't know if he was in there washing his hands. He was not in between. And so. If you're gonna be doing that, you need to wash your hands. If you're a woman, you need to, you need to be cautious to see if you're watching this guy and he's making his way down the line to you. Yeah. You gotta be careful. So by the way, have you guys experienced and maybe any of the listeners getting blowjob with lube? It's great. It's actually some of the best experience. It, it makes it feel much better. We learned about that with a couple on the cruise. They were, she was putting lube all over me and it made it, it was awesome.
Jay:L has a special flavored lube for that. That's what I'm talking about. She loves it. And the ones she uses it on loves it. Ah,
Tramp:yeah. There we go. We have our pro tip for the day. Yeah, that works. So guys, I am gonna pause us real quick here and tell you guys about shivers. Shivers is an edible CBD derived sensation enhancer, and there are two specialized formulas, one for men and one for women. And let me tell you, these things are amazing for me. They kick in after 30 to 60 minutes, and not only do I get a nice energy boost, but every touch is magnified. It truly does send those wonderful shivers right down your spine, but it doesn't end there. Not only is my pleasure increased, but the next day I wake up feeling great, just not all groggy and hungover. In a lot of cases, this may actually replace alcohol for me at lifestyle events. I feel good. I'm relaxed and everything is just better, especially when I get a chance to play. We would love for you guys to try them out and we've arranged a special discount at Shivers store on any of their products. Just use the coupon code us for unapologetic swingers for 10% off your entire order. A link can also be found on our website.
Jay:Excellent, and I'd like to give a special shout out to our sponsor. We mention them every episode whether we want to or not. The Scarlet Ranch, north America's premier, upscale, private lifestyle destination. If you've been listening to our show, you know how many of our guests are regulars there and it's don't wonder. Two incredible bars, fun games, a top-notch restaurant, spacious open areas and private social areas downstairs for when the night gets a little steamier ready to level up your nightlife. Visit scarlet ranch.com and let your next adventure begin. As we're nearing the end of the podcast advice, what advice to newbies and.
Justin:Yeah, newbie's advice. Well, I think anybody who is gonna have any level of longevity in this. Has got to have good communication with their partner. It is a formula for disaster if you don't, because I mean, you are talking about having sex with other people and you're talking about hitting on other people and other people hitting on you, and you really need to have discussions. Should never, ever think about. Engaging with anyone unless you have that boundary discussion and to be able to identify what you're okay with and also know boundaries change. And it's totally fine. You know, our boundaries have changed. I think everybody's boundaries have changed, but they all need to be aligned that moment with your partner. And when you do that, it can be the absolute time of our lives.
Tramp:I love that. I think that far too many couples, the ones that don't communicate, they are the ones where you're going to witness the drama and they could be brand new, they could be newbies. Or they could have some experience, but if they're not communicating, the reality of the situation is no one's a mind reader. So how is your partner to know if you really like something, or if something is really rubbing you the wrong way without actually using your words.
Jay:I agree a hundred percent. Communication is the biggest factor of having a successful
Justin:time in the lifestyle. And I actually have approached women before and asked, how do you play? And what's okay, what's not? And I've had at least one that's said, what? I, I, I don't know. We really haven't had that discussion. U-turn. Nope. I, yep. That's a red flag. That is a red flag. And that's how you get into a fight. At the ranch, right? From the mail coming up to you and not happy because you're doing something that you won't want anything to do with that, you know? And so that would be the advice plan. Talk about it. And it can make or break the whole experience. Agreed.
Tramp:100% agree there. So we're gonna go ahead and move into our Ask us anything segment. And this is from a couple we had on just recently, Bryce and Palmer. And this is gonna be very interesting because I can almost tell you from the male perspective what the universal answer will be, and it'll be very different from the female perspective. Okay? So hear me out. How do you handle it when one partner is in the mood to play and the other isn't? Mm. I think as men, let's be honest, we're probably just about always in the mood to play. It's kind of our biology. It's biological what? Imperative or drive? Yes. So more often than not, I, I would assume it's the female partner. That may be the breaks on that.
Justin:I don't know. I've, I've had times where I didn't feel like it, and she did. Okay. Yeah.
Jay:Well, we go both ways because for the longest time l never wanted to play without me, and now she's grown and evolved and now very confident as Tramp knows at Sunday Fun day. And would you like to go downstairs with me? And she does. And. Another friend. I go, Hey, have you seen these guys? Oh, they went downstairs. They said you'd be okay with it. And I totally am. You know and she's times she's not feeling it. She's like, go ahead, go, go play with them. Go have fun. So we're, we're a little bit different. We've grown. Let's just say that we used to be the stereotypical, if she's not playing, I'm not playing, kind of thing. And yes, I usually at the club am much more anxious to play than she is. But that was disproved last night at your party.
Justin:It was a fruitful night for. L and
Tramp:almost all of us. All of us. Now, Jay, I would say that, once again, and I realize we hammer on this every episode, but it's a testament not only to the foundation of your relationship, but that you communicate. You can communicate, Hey, this is cool boundaries, if you will.
Jay:Thank you, brother. Yeah.
Justin:Yeah. And I we are slightly different because for the most part, we don't play alone. Even though we started to do a little bit of that, we played a little alone, but it was at our own house last night. She's got a green light to play alone with girls, but when we are together, you can only go as fast as the slowest one, you know? So we've had times where, she wasn't feeling it and I wasn't feeling it. And because of our alignment. We don't do it right.
Tramp:I would say in a partnered situation where they may be same room only, there is no separate. Then if your partner isn't in the mood to play, then that's just the way you have to accept that that is the reality at that moment. Doesn't mean it can't change later on in the evening or tomorrow, but you just kind of have toss. Say, okay. Because your partner should be the most important thing in this whole equation.
Justin:Absolutely. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Well, I've also had times where Nikki has said, oh, I'm not feeling it, and then there just so happens to be a really charismatic, awesome guy at the ranch and comes up and all of a sudden she's magically in the mood because of him. That's definitely happened too
Jay:as, as I've said, I think on previous podcasts, there's nothing more important in the lifestyle than the partner you came with. And if one of you says it's time to go. It's time to go. You could be on top of the most gorgeous cheerleader ever, former NFL cheerleader. Oh, shut up. You're just
Justin:bragging who swallows.
Jay:But if, but if you're there, you're into this NFL cheerleader and your girl says, honey, it's time to go. It's time to go. As hot as the woman may be, or the guy that you're playing with may be. An orgasm isn't worth the relationship. You gotta realize that one orgasm is not worth risking your relationship. Be noble. Be stand up. Go. Oh, okay, honey. Right now, or five minutes now. You. We all know that. Look and you go to your partner. Hey, this was fantastic. I hope we can do it again, but we have to get going and you bow out gracefully and nobody's feelings get hurt.
Justin:I think that's an easier reality to accept. The longer you are in the lifestyle when you're early. If any of the listeners now are early in the lifestyle and boy, that one person, they are hot. You really want'em, and your spouse isn't on board, man, don't risk it. Don't risk it. They're not the only one. They're not the only one. You spend enough time in this world, there are plenty more that'll come down. It's not worth hurting the relationship because she might pull the plug on you for months or he might pull the plug on you for months. There you go. Great, great
Tramp:tip. Thank you. I think that's a fantastic way to wrap this up. So guys, once again, just thank you for listening and if you need to get in contact with us our email address is unapologetic swingers@gmail.com. Our website is also unapologetic swingers.com and the biggest ask we have is wherever you have to be listening, just leave us a quick review that helps out more than anything.
Jay:Yeah, give us an a MA. We'd love to, and we love seeing where you're from. The last podcast, we had a download from my old, old town in California. Yeah. We quickly looked at Cassidy and could it be them? Could it be that? No, probably not. Somebody on Cassidy and not a family member. But it's fun. We, we love seeing where you guys are from.
Tramp:Yeah. That's pretty amazing.
Jay:So, until next time, I'm Jay and I'm the tramp. Be sexy, be confident. Be unapologetic.