Top Episode: 5 Universal Laws of Speaking - Ep. 194

This was the top podcast episode in 2024 and 2025. It goes over the 5 universal laws of speaking to better help you evanglize. I hope you enjoy and subscribe.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

So on this episode, I want to talk about um something called the five universal laws of speaking. And these are pretty standard. I think a lot of people would agree on these. And the reason I want to talk about speaking is because I'm big into evangelization. That's a big thing, a big mission behind my business. Obviously, fitness helps with that. So I do a lot of fitness coaching. But um really, if you remember what St. Francis of Assisi said, you know, preach the gospel at all times and only in some cases use the gospel. With the idea being like how we act in the world is more influential than like reciting words. Okay, it's really important. Because why is this? Humans make decisions based on emotion. When people break beliefs and change beliefs, they do it because of emotion. And people aren't influenced as much by like the reasoning of things, but by the emotion. And how does how do people feel emotion from other people? Influence. So it's very important we speak because the better you are with the voice, the more influential you will be. Number one tip for the day the better you are with your voice, the more influential you'll be. Bishop Barron, arguably the single most influential Catholic to ever live from a number standpoint, besides Jesus, because I mean, and then as a second point, he's phenomenal at speaking. Are those two unconnected data points? Probably not. I'll get into Bishop Barron in a little bit. Um, okay, so I want you to remember that better you are with your voice, the more influential you'll be. So now I want to go into uh a quick story about why I'm talking about this today, and then I want to touch on the five universal laws, and then I want to touch on the golden rule of speaking, it's a very important rule. So let's get into it. I help a lot of guys um get in shape, Catholic guys, and a lot of them are poor at speaking, and that's interesting. The reason it's interesting is because we're an evangelizing religion, and so um when I meet these guys and they're so willing to change their physique or more learn more about the faith, but when it comes to speaking, they have an interesting belief system, which is that this is just my voice, this is just who I am, and so you know, the typical guy in 2024 might talk like this, be like, yo, what's up, bro? How are we doing? Yeah, that's just like super cool, um, you know, very monotone, low tonality, low volume. So when people talk like that, and then you talk to them and you say, like, why do you talk like that? Well, that's just how I talk, bro. And everything in life that involves our behavior, that's not innate because those are learned things. So it's like if you threw a baseball a certain way, and I was like, Don't throw it like that, throw it this way. And you're like, no, bro, that's just how I throw. That's like an innate quality in me. That'd be absurd. You'd be like, no, you just change like the movement of your arm. It's the same with your voice. I want you guys to think of your voice as like an instrument. Okay. And we'll use that analogy throughout the five rules. So, anyway, with the guys that I help, um, I really try to instill the idea that it's like fitness. It can be changed, like your body, it can be worked on, it needs to be practiced, and you can completely transform your physique, just like you can completely transform your voice, your vocal image, it's called. And a lot of guys should because at least in Catholic circles, traditional Catholic circles, we're not we're not exactly crushing it on the vocal image side of things. And we should because it's so influential. All right, let's go over the golden rule of speaking. This is why public speaking is a required college course, regardless of major, it can be trained. Oh, totally, totally. And think like, though the people who are most influential in the world, hey, I'm a Catholic guy, I want everyone to be Catholic. I don't know about you guys, I want the whole wide world to be Catholic. And the people that are most influential in the world are phenomenal speakers. So, like, shouldn't we all just like master communication? That seems I'm not talking crazy here, am I? That makes sense to me. Well, Joe, it's uncomfortable. Oh, sorry, it's uncomfortable. Don't get me started. Okay, golden rule of speaking. If it distracts from the message, it's a problem. Okay. If it distracts from the message, it's a problem. That's the golden rule of speaking. I'm not gonna tell you, you know, I'm not gonna, I don't even have to make any judgments. I can just tell you what's distracting me when I talk to you. Maybe you don't make eye contact. That's a problem. You know how many guys don't make eye contact? You gotta fix that pronto. Maybe you have crazy hair, maybe you're unkempt, you're not well groomed to the point of where it's distracting. So that's always the rule of thumb when you're going into a social situation. Are you doing, saying, wearing, or appearing with anything that's so distracting it detracts from the message? Okay, let's get started. The five universal um laws of communication. Number one, all judgments about your voice are temporary. So people, I kind of touched on this in the beginning, people like to think that your voice is like an innate quality of you. Your voice is your personality, and your personality changes. We all went to middle school. We're not the same person in middle school as we are today. So your voice change, your your personality changes over time, and since your voice is so like closely tied to your personality, both can change. They're almost the same thing. In fact, I think there's a vocal coach who once said, like, I saw somewhere that this vocal coach said that your voice is your personality. They're so intertwined. Both can be changed. And so if you have a belief system about yourself that's like, well, I'm just very stoic, this is just how I talk. Well, that's how your behavior has that's you've habitually like created that through behavior. That's just a habit, and so it can change. So this is uh less of like an action item law and more of just like a concept understand. No matter how you talk now, that is uh habitualized behavior and it can change. All right, rule number two the rule of 88 keys is really famous. So um, the rule of 88 keys. Pianos have 88 keys, and when we typically start learning piano in the beginning, we get very comfortable with these keys right here in the middle, right? And we don't really use these keys over here, and we don't really use these keys down here. And it's very similar with our voice. We get really comfortable at this level and we don't really talk over here, and we definitely don't talk down here. Now, some of you guys might think, well, Joe, if I talk in those, we'll say octaves, at those octaves, uh, that's phony. That's not really who I am. Okay, but if we equate it to an instrument, if we analogize it to an instrument, that wouldn't make any sense. If we're trying to play, if we're trying to utilize the instrument to its fullest potential, we wouldn't just stick with the keys that are most comfortable for our fingers. We would use the whole instrument. Now, guys, I'm just gonna be honest with you, most people radically underuse the like tonality that they're capable of. So most guys just talk at this level, but sometimes you have to talk at a really high level because something's important, and then sometimes things are really like somber and you have to talk with lower octaves. And I didn't sound phony there because that's just like me. You think it's phony, but you've never practiced. So remember, you're habitualized, you're in this like little small circle, and you're like, Oh, anything outside of that, like that's fake. No, no, that's silly. It's an instrument, use the whole instrument. Now, here's what's gonna happen. And the reason we want to do this is it's called tonality. So we want more tonality in our voice because it's more influential. You will be scared to start talking like this with more tonality because the people around you have preconceived notions about how you're supposed to speak. So, how do we fix this? Two ways. We'll get into the second way later in another law, but right here, um, the first way is you prime the people in your life. So you tell your friends and family, you would say something like, hey guys, so I don't want to be, I don't want to be lazy with my voice anymore. I want to like master my voice. And so I'm gonna be trying to talk with more tonality, trying to talk higher in certain situations and lower when it's necessary. And if you guys ever catch me being monotone, just let me know. Okay, if you say that to your friends and family, they're coming at it from a completely different point rather than you just walking into the room and being like, hello! And they're all like, What happened to you? Like, are you you hit your head? So prime it, frame it for your family and friends. And uh remember, this takes practice, but remember it's not for you, it's for evangelizing. This is good. You're mastering a skill that's super impactful. Okay, law number two. Three. Oh, this one's super important. Law number three knowledge is not enough. You need application. So I'll tell you something. Hundreds of calls with Catholic men I do. Hundreds. If a Catholic man knows a ton about theology, and he's not a minister, he's not a priest, he's not a theologian, he doesn't work for the church, but he knows a ton about theology, I know in my heart, he struggles a lot with impulse control, and he's probably depressed. I know, crazy, right? Here's how I know this when you acquire knowledge, our minds are comported to like align with truth and like acquire knowledge. What is the saying? God made us with uh minds to know. So we want to know truth. When we know truth, when we learn knowledge, it's satisfying. We get a little dopamine hit. Like you can read an argument for the philosophy of God, and you can just be like, ah. So we get that dopamine hit. Acquiring knowledge is satisfying, it's the application of knowledge that makes us fulfilled and joyful. Okay, that's why people that read self-help books all the time and then they don't do anything with it, dude. Self-help books are super satisfying. It's like if you can dream it, you can do it. It's like, oh, dude, what? That's cool. But that doesn't make you fulfilled. It's the application that makes you fulfilled. You can learn a magic trick, how it works. Oh gosh, now I get it. Crisscross force. Okay, got it. Until you do the force, you won't be fulfilled. You won't get like the laughter from the crowd and like the feeling. So, um, this is a big problem in Catholic circles. Why are you calling me out, Joe? Bro, I'm sorry. I'm just saying, man. Um, I know this after dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens of calls. So it's the guys that know so much about the faith because it's satisfying to learn. It's satisfying to read the Summa. Now, is it wrong to learn truth? No. Hey, it's good to pray. Are you supposed to pray all day? No.

unknown 11:11

St.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

Ignatius of Loyol's Loyol, I'm sorry, it wasn't St. Ignatius. Saint Benedict's. Either Saint Benedict or Saint Ignatius created the rule, and it's like the book of like how you're the perfect day. Maybe it was Saint Francis. Anyway, it was like the perfect day. It didn't include prayer all day. It was like work for men, and then like leisure and like all this stuff. So don't pray all day. Don't read the Summa all day. You know enough truth, you know enough knowledge. Right? Love your neighbors, yourself, love God, love yourself, practice the seven virtues, avoid the seven sins. Bring others to heaven. That's about it. You got it. So, I want you guys to like the key here is that um with the speaking, I can teach you all the laws, I can teach you the rule of 88 keys, but until you go apply it, until you go to a bar with a neutral ear, a neutral ear is someone who doesn't know your vocal image, until you talk to a neutral ear and try something new, see how they react, you're not gonna feel fulfilled with your speaking. Okay, super important. All right. This ties very well into the fourth rule. No automatic transfer of skills. You gotta put in the work. It's just like fitness. Put in the work. Here's how you put in the work you find neutral ears. So a neutral ear being someone who doesn't know your vocal image, not a friend, not a family. They are unaware of what your vocal image is. And you're gonna talk to them trying the new things that you're supposed to work on. So let's say you're super monotone. Like guys are. Let me tell you, guys suck at tonality. Let's say your tone your tonality is bad. And okay, well, you gotta work on the keys out here and the keys down here. So you go to a bar or wherever, someone who's a stranger doesn't know your vocal image, and you go, dude, what's up, man? How are we doing today? Dude, I love your watch. That's sick. What brand is that? Whatever it is. And your tonality. Now, they probably won't react negatively because they don't know you. If you did that to your friends and family, they'll probably react negatively. So you start with the strangers because the feedback you get won't be negative, and you'll be more your body will be like more inclined to repeat the behavior. So this is how you start changing. It's scary to like change tonality to friends and family because they'll judge you. So that's why we do it to strangers until you get used to it. Um, so it takes work. I'm I'm actually building a course right now in my tier three, my mastermind course for speaking exclusively. Uh I joined late. Are these the three rules for evangelizing? These are the five laws of communication, but very important for evangelizing. Um, so anyway, I'm building a social skill, like a basically a speaking accelerator course in my mastermind. So I'm talking about these in depth in there, but I'm kind of just touching on them lightly for each. Um, so yeah, rule number law number four, no automatic transfer of skills. You got to put in the work just like fitness. Okay. Law number five, this is so important. So important. This might be the most important one. Be generous. And what I mean by generous, equate generous to energy. Okay, so guys are terrible at this. If there's women listening to the chat, I guarantee you they're like, yep, he's so right. Guys suck at energy in their speaking. They end up like talking like this, honestly. And it's just like, like, do you see the game last night? Like, honestly, I couldn't believe he took that shot. It's like, dude, you're terrible. So generous, I want you to equate with energy. The reason is is people will give people receive what you give off. Okay, so if you want to be impactful, the more influ, the more energy you have, the more people will feel you, and they'll be like, they'll be more influenced by you. Which means if you're having a conversation, I want you to be passionate about it. Like if I said something like, guys, if you just get in shape, you're gonna believe in yourself so much more, and you're gonna be able to take those risks that you're so scared of that you lie to yourself that you're avoiding. And then once you take those risks, you'll grow and then you'll become a better man. You get to give a better man to your family, lead the family better, and then you won't live in fear and worry all day. And it's just such a better life, you'll feel so much more fulfilled, and you'll be closer to the Lord. Okay, something like that, it's gonna make you feel like hell yeah, hell yeah. But if I was just like, yeah, and honestly, like, why wouldn't you work out? Because like you're gonna get in better shape, and then you know, you'll be better man for your family. You don't get the same vibe. So, um, energy is so important. That's why when I do calls with guys, I kind of prep myself. I'm like, all right, Joe's showing up, Joe's locking in. Because that's what they want, and that's what they need. That's what they need. You think when I hop on a call with one of my mentors, they're like, Yeah, bro, what's going on? No, it's like Joe Gerald, what's up, man? How we doing? Because like he's helping me. That's what I need. All right, word. Quick, like one minute on like the voice fundamentals and the body language fundamentals. It's gonna be a topic for another podcast, but I just want you guys to be aware. Three fundamentals of voice. So we did the laws of like speaking, and really only two of those are actionable. The other three are like concepts. The two actionable ones are 88 keys and then the energy, like be generous with your energy. So those are like laws, but then like the three like mechanics of speaking are tonality, rate of speech, and volume. Tonality, so like up, down, 88 keys, up, down, rate of speech, like how fast are you talking, and then um volume. So, how what decibel are you speaking at? And then the body language fundamentals are posture, hand gestures, hand gestures, and eye contact. So, topic for another time, but I want you guys to be aware that's like the sphere of how we present ourselves. Okay. I hope this was helpful. Five universal laws. All judgments are temporary, 88 keys, knowledge is not enough. You have to apply, you have to apply, no automatic transfer of skills, you have to practice, and five, be generous with your energy. And remember, the golden rule is if it if it distracts from the message, it's a problem. Fix it. All right, guys. Was this helpful? I thought I saw a comment come through. I didn't see it. Um, but yeah, I hope this is helpful, guys. If you got value, drop a like. I love communication and um just speaking in general. It's a big passion of mine. So I'm really excited to do more courses and more content on it. So if you want more, let me know. Drop a like. Um, yeah, and I hope you guys have a blessed holy week. We got the tritium starting tomorrow. So hope you guys have time for adoration, confession, all that. All right, guys. Have a great rest of your day, and I will talk to you later. God bless.