Open The Gate
Breaking down Sacramento Real Estate: Our Favorite People, Places and Mindsets
Open The Gate
EP 45- Matt Fortier: What If Your Lowest Point Is A Starting Line
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And here we go.
SPEAKER_04Welcome back.
SPEAKER_01Hello. Hi.
SPEAKER_04Oh, Viviendo La Vida, mi amiga.
SPEAKER_01Yes. So you stayed at a property that I love. Yes. Down in Cabo's gorgeous cables. Property was gorgeous.
SPEAKER_04Food was eh.
SPEAKER_01I'm so I feel so bad. I like upsold the. I think it was because I was comparing the food to Cancun, my Cancun experience. Cancun food was terrible. I will agree.
SPEAKER_04It was worse in Cancun. Okay. Yeah. It was better than that.
SPEAKER_01So maybe the bar was just low. And I mean, you know.
SPEAKER_04Well, I also have unreasonably high standards when it comes to food.
SPEAKER_01So I Yeah, so do my wife and daughter.
SPEAKER_04I um I eat leather, so I don't, I mean, you know what else is kind of hilarious and kind of ironic is that of all of like the restaurants there at this resort, there's no Mexican food. We were making the, you know, the team was making reservations and everything for all the listeners. I went to a conference in Mexico with my team for a week. Ziva. Great property. Ziva. It was it was beautiful. Great property. Whales were jumping off the oh my gosh, nonstop, like all day long. Whales.
SPEAKER_01So you guys went down to the marina. Uh yeah, we did do in Cabo one day, but my profile picture on face on Facebook is uh in the marina in Cabo with the freaking lizard. And then the guy wanted to charge me and I was like, I'm not giving you any money. We talked about this before, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Um yeah, the food was it was okay. Um the best food I had was not on the resort. We actually went to Flora Farms.
SPEAKER_01Wait a minute, you gotta tell me though, the taco lady at the adult pool was fired.
SPEAKER_04Okay. The the adult the adult pool tacos were the best part of the resort. We ate there often.
SPEAKER_01Um so did I tell you, so that that was the trip that I did the hundred taco challenge. We were there for seven days and on the plane down here. You never talked about it. I told my group, I told my group, I go, I'm eating a hundred tacos on this trip. I got to 89.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god, Dan, I'm so proud of you. I wish I would have done a taco challenge.
Injury Recovery And Life Updates
SPEAKER_01It's a lot of tacos. I was there for six months. You gotta go like 12 to 15 tacos a day. I mean, street it, trust me, it's kind of like um I feel like I could have taken it it was it was very much like drinking a gallon of water a day. It doesn't sound crazy hard, but it's it's when you do it. God, we are we are fucking diatribing here. Uh we have we have it we have a guest who's gonna be totally different from anybody like anybody that we've had before. I'm excited. Um I'm super excited. Um him and I have been have have really gotten a lot closer over the last few months. Um, and and uh I've really enjoyed you know getting getting to go deeper with this guy. Um quick work update.
SPEAKER_04Oh, he's about to be a year old. He's he's 11 months in like five days, and then a year old, and I'm out of my mind. Yeah. How are you? How are your feet? How are your kids?
SPEAKER_01Feet are okay. Um kind of ebbs and flows, good days, bad days with the feet. Um I don't know, maybe not bad days, days that are more challenged than others. Uh sure.
SPEAKER_04It's the recovery journey up and down.
SPEAKER_01Learning my thresholds. I I don't know if I've um if we've been on since I was cleared from my ortho team, which was super exciting. And then he was like, Yeah, before you get too excited, he's like six to nine more months before you're feeling air quotes.
SPEAKER_04What a what a like quick high and then a very fast down.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, pulled the rug out from underneath me. But you know, a reality. It's it. It's my reality. It's okay. I can still get from place to place. I was uh we've got some travel coming up, going to Vegas for uh volleyball tournament this weekend.
SPEAKER_04So that'll be You're still exceeding expectations as far as the healing timeline.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and even if I wasn't, I would just lie to you and tell you that I am.
SPEAKER_04So that's fair. Okay.
Guest Walkout Song And Vibe
SPEAKER_01All right. Without without further ado, um, let's let's let's play let's play this dude in. Okay. Let's make sure we are still connected. We can't wait for this banger. So are you ready? Oh yeah. Yes, indeed. ACDC, back in black recognizable riffs. Um I can't tell you how many times, like between the ages of eight and fifteen, I probably listened to that song, that intro. So back in black, Mr. Matt Fordier, let it rip, dude. Why, why that song? I mean, I got I've got my opinions, but I can't wait to hear from you.
SPEAKER_00Well, short answer is because that's the song that just kept ringing in my head when you asked me last night uh for uh for a walkout song. It was divine intervention. Yeah, it must have been. It must have been.
SPEAKER_01And uh I don't know if God would put that song in your head, but I it sounds like he did.
SPEAKER_04Hey, if God helped create it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00Uh I think it fits with uh with where I'm at in this journey. Um I'm I'm back. Nice. I'm coming back. Love it, love it. And uh yeah, yeah, like like you said, Kaylee, the the riff on that, you you just can't beat it. Yeah, you can't. Just can't beat it.
SPEAKER_01I mean, it's like father time, it's undefeated. Uh super, I would say. Everybody knows it doesn't it surpasses like should be considered the right place after hearing that. I mean, like just listen to the energy we have right now going on.
A Decade Of Snowballing Consequences
SPEAKER_04It's true. It's true. We've got some great energy for early Wednesday. Um okay, so you you mentioned you're back. Tell me about this journey. Where have you been?
SPEAKER_00Oh man. Okay. I didn't realize this is gonna be a therapy session.
SPEAKER_04Well, you know, that's life. We're you know, we talk, we chat, we therapise. Yeah, I you know what I'm we're unlicensed, so don't take any medical advice from us.
SPEAKER_00Totally understand. I I gotta say, though, um one thing that I think I caught in one of your previous podcasts is about how you like to go deep. And I I I appreciate that. So why not? Let's just go for it. Yeah, Kaylee's a minor.
SPEAKER_01And I just sit on the peripherals. I'm like, oh, I wouldn't answer that question.
SPEAKER_00Let's go. So um, you know, I was thinking about this on the way over here, and uh trying to figure out what the what the summary of of where we're at here, and I jokingly was thinking like you know, like the the sub the subheading of the title of this is you know, what not to do for the first fifty years of your life. Oh I love that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_00I I say that a little tongue in cheek. Um but it's it's kind of true. And you know, I I uh suffice to say, I've we uh I I think I'm not alone in this, is that we all have ups and downs and and uh and and make lots of mistakes and and have good days and bad days. And I realize that there's just I you know, I I've I've had a few I've had a few rough goes um in the past say ten years.
SPEAKER_01And Matt's gonna say some things that blow your hair back. I can't wait.
SPEAKER_04I I wore good hairspray today.
SPEAKER_00Awesome. All right. Um and and and while I I in in that season, we'll call it that ten years a season, is that it it was it was made even more challenging from uh mistakes made years past. Okay. Which is it's that's how it usually goes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know, it uh and so you mean snowballs get bigger when they roll down hills?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, uh unobstructed.
SPEAKER_04I like you do have energy today. I like it.
SPEAKER_00And so Yeah, so those the these past ten-ish years has just it's just been it's been a series of challenges, a series of of of things in life that just made made things tough and it culminated in the past in the past few years is basically that snowball got bigger and bigger.
SPEAKER_03There's classic. Wow. You know, it's a host faux pops.
SPEAKER_01I am so sorry on Dan's behalf of forgetting to pass, and I can't reconnect the song. Like I've totally derailed Matt's momentum here. I'm going airplane, but it's all right.
SPEAKER_04We're gonna stay on track, Matt.
SPEAKER_00Fortunately, I I've I've got a pretty decent bookmark system in my brain. I don't always use it. Um But but in the last few years, uh things those that snowball kept getting bigger, and I just felt overwhelmed by a lot of things, and it just kind of stopped showing up in a lot of ways. And uh well that takes its toll. Takes its toll in your relationships or in my relationships, takes its toll in my physical health, and uh you know I know this is mostly on audio with some video clips, but I'm not a small person and I've never been really a small person. Um so and and I've also had But you're also considerably smaller than you were.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes, yeah. And obviously we're gonna get there. Yep.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and so the the last couple last couple years, it it just kind of was it was piling on. Life was piling on. I was not I wasn't I I was just I don't want to say I was giving up, but I just I was extremely apathetic. Extremely apathetic about where I was in my life and and again kind of just going back to the oh my god, all of these mistakes I made well in the past are affecting me now, and I just couldn't let it go.
SPEAKER_01Like the weight the weight of your life was physically and metaphorically adding up so fast that it was crushing.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Yeah. And and to the point where again it affected my relationships, it affected my relationships within my family, with the people I love, with my kids. Um and you know, pretty much by the grace of God, I was able to finally wake myself up. And there's there's some there there are there are some things that that helped that, and part of that was my relationship with my wife and how it um it was kind of disintegrating as a as a result of all of this, and seeing my kids or not really really plugging into my kids and plugging into my life, and um it just started adding up and finally with the work of therapy and and some divine intervention and and and even you know tragedy that struck um someone that that I know and really hit home to me that said, okay, well you may be you hopefully you're old enough to to know this reference, but from Shawshank Redemption. Oh Morgan Morgan Freeman's character says, get busy living or get busy dying. Yes. Should her get off the pot. Should her get off the pot. Yeah. That's that was the moment about a year ago that really started to set in. That is like, okay, well, I gotta get my shit together. I gotta, I got I I I am I am turning 50 at that year last year. I was telling myself, I'm turning 50, I am not healthy, I I I basic human function tasks are extremely difficult, and I can just continue to just not give a shit, or I gotta change everything and get it going.
Layoff Shock And Commission Survival
SPEAKER_01So before we go too far down, because I I think the last year obviously is gonna be kind of the the crux of this, but let's let's let's let's kind of backtrack a little bit here. You and I met when you were doing the real estate thing, you were working with Michael Putnam, putnam on his team. And um, you know, you and I kind of clicked right away. I think we always had kind of, you know, it wasn't like we were hanging out all the time or all constantly in contact, but every time we had interaction, I felt like we were very on the same page and very um very similarly motivated, and it was always a really easy conversation. I really always really enjoyed it. Um that was probably 10 years ago. Yeah. Um so you were in residential real estate, you were working on a team, and and so kind of a lot of the stuff that you just talked about was in that last 10 years. Um talk about kind of were there specific things in in that time period that kind of happened that that led you to to that, I I don't want to call it rock bottom, I mean, but but that low point. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh, oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So um yeah, it's actually 10 years ago, almost 10 years ago, April, um, I had been working at a large technology company. I will not name names, but they they make things that go in computers and they are quite the big blue behemoth. Um, or did allegedly allegedly um well I I had uh I didn't survive the round of cuts that year. And uh you know it so you know it was a it was a not an annual thing when you work at a company like that. It um they kind of call the herd. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's it's it's tighten the belt. It's unheard of, you know, it's not unheard of.
SPEAKER_04Um but it was it was definitely it was it was abrupt and in the still a blow to the ego and the personal confidence when you get let go and you're like, okay, where's my value?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And so so that that that kind of sets the stage for this whole for for this whole season. Um whereas again, going back to previous decisions and choices made well long ago, is I didn't have the financial base to weather a long storm of of no income.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, most people don't. I mean, that nobody prepares for that.
SPEAKER_01And now now 10 years ago you were married already, and you did have kids or a child.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we had uh we actually uh all three all my all three of my kids were were were around at that point. Okay. My oldest, I think, was in he was in late grade school, early middle school, if I remember correctly. But my two youngest were in diaper still.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_00So a lot writing on you. Oh yeah. Huge, huge. And so that that was the stage setting for me to get into the real estate business in the first place because it was a matter of you know, months and months and months of applying for for jobs and and not getting in the interviews or or getting through the first couple interviews, and it's just it just nothing was happening.
SPEAKER_01So and that's the 2015-16 job market. I mean, that was it was sledding.
SPEAKER_00It was a very yeah, it was very tough.
SPEAKER_04And then transitioning to real estate where deals just start falling from the sky, right?
SPEAKER_00I mean exactly it. Well, fortunately, my brother's been in the business for a long time, and so he set the expectation well. Um however, it was still it was a huge pivot for me.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you were coming from a an employer where wage was guaranteed, benefits were guaranteed, a paycheck was guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and on top of that, the the the skill sets I was using was completely different than the skill sets needed to be successful in real estate.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean, it's like a pivot and a leap.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, 100%. Yeah, and blinded, blindfolded.
SPEAKER_01Like it's a major agility challenge. And right now I'm thinking about it, like, fuck, that would be really fucking hard, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah for me physically, mentally, emotionally.
SPEAKER_00And it was it was it was much longer than that also, because again, the the the mindset and the and the tools and the skills required to be successful in the real estate business are things that I did not possess. I I I I was working in a technology company. Granted, I was very I'm I'm a very peep-y technology person.
SPEAKER_04Uh you're the anomaly.
SPEAKER_00He's a walking oxymoron.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But it's still it's a different, it's a different, it's a different, totally different bag of you know, bag of tricks that that that I that I had to employ on top of all of that, of just the stress of, okay, well, I there's bills that have to get paid and you know, kids that need diapers and all of those, all of those things kind of pecking at me.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um is is you know, made it, made it a real challenge to get things going in the business. And it actually took me, I want to say it was almost a full year before I actually closed my first deal. Wow.
SPEAKER_01Isn't that wild how like when you have kids in diapers, the most pressing thing on your mind almost no matter what is the cost of diapers and how many they go through and outrageous. And you know, it's like, I mean, shit, we just saw eight dollar gas in Southern California earlier this week, right? Like, I guess in the grand, and you know, it's like we're bitching about diaper costs. Like for me, I I look back at the cost of childcare when my kids were in there. But it's so it's just so funny how the easy, the easy, the easy one is is the diaper cost.
SPEAKER_04They go so quickly. I mean, it adds that 20 of these things today.
SPEAKER_00Child care was a factor too, because you know, my wife had to work and I was, you know, needed to needed to be able to work. So the kids were in, you know, full-time daycare and and and that was oh gosh, that you know, it was like 1500 bucks a month just just for that. Oh, yeah. All of that weight just kind of sat on me. And and so it took a while for me to get the momentum going and started to started to make some progress in the real estate business.
SPEAKER_01And and did you start on the team?
SPEAKER_00No, I started stuff. Okay, you're you're that's right.
SPEAKER_01Your brother, your brother was kind of mentoring you. You started solo, okay.
SPEAKER_00And so it was at that point, you know, I s when I when I joined when I joined the team with with with Michael was when things started to kind of get a little bit of momentum going. And and again, I I I I I learned so much in in in this season, and I learned a lot about mindset, but I also looking back, I was still just I was a freaking I don't want to say a basket case, but I was just I was all over the place. I was flailing.
SPEAKER_01Was the was the was the the the focus and the intention maybe I don't know. I won't I don't want to say on the wrong things, but maybe not on enough things? Were you were you d too focused on the real estate success thing that that you were neglecting other areas or was that not the case? Not yet at that point. Okay.
SPEAKER_00I I it uh stoke. No, I think in in in a way, I I was thinking you were going in a different direction with the question, but yes, I think in a way I wasn't thinking of of all the right things. And I think that's gets back to the well, you know, the the real estate, the real estate world, you know, they they talk about commission breath, you know, and that's I I I I may have been in denial that I had it, but I at the same time, it wasn't so much that it was commission breath, but it was definitely that's the dog nipping at my ankles. For sure. Yeah. Because again, at the end of the day, we've got to put food on the table. We've got to, we've gotta pay for, we've gotta pay for the mortgage, we've got to, we've gotta, you know, we've got responsibility.
SPEAKER_01You've got adult responsibilities.
SPEAKER_04People don't understand how incredibly challenging it is when you're in that position to still have the I would say it's the discipline to put the interest of the client before yours when you when all you can think in your mind is I have to take care of my family. I've got a family to feed. I'm not making money. It's been almost a year since you've made a check at this point, right? And to be able to say, hey, this isn't right for you, instead of talk them into a deal because you need the money, is one of the hardest things you have to do.
SPEAKER_01You got a ten dollar bet on the table and two dollars in your pocket.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So if you lose your people, yeah, people don't talk about that enough.
SPEAKER_04It's it's one of the most, I would say, challenging and implicating positions to be in in this industry. And I know that every single one of us has been there.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I I think it's I think it's the most underestimated driving force in the real estate industry. Uh that fear of failure. Um, but it's not even the fear, it's the reality of failure or failure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's it's always looming in that pure sales environment. Like when you're paid on commission only, it's real.
SPEAKER_00It's real.
SPEAKER_01Go three months without a deal, six months without a deal. Yeah. And no income.
SPEAKER_00I never I never felt I never felt the conflict in those conversations, though it it hurt. It yeah, it and it Again, making you know, making that decision or allowing the client in that position to make the decision to walk away or to whatever it may be. Yeah, in in you know, I never I never got a I never compromise my values or my integrity to push them into that. But yeah, it it really hurt. And and I think that's also when it's you know, like when you're in contract and you're you're working through the escrow and and the the bumps in the bumps that come up that always come up in even the smoothest of transactions, um it's it it can be very consuming. And I that was actually, you know, kind of fast forward. Um we'll get we'll get into the situation that that sets the stage for this, but I remember being at the zoo for my daughter's birthday and it was in the middle of a transaction, and I remember having to deal with things during that experience that took me away from the experience with my family for her birthday.
SPEAKER_01And it was like the seller was supposed to leave the nest thermostat. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00It was it was it was it was stuff like that for sure. And it gets me it gets me emotional just thinking about it because God, I feel fucking guilty for that. Right? Like you were you were in that experience and and thank God she was young enough that it didn't it it you know it's she doesn't know about you. She does, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, stays with you.
SPEAKER_00Oh that's a gets me gets me gets me every time. And um so yeah, that you know, having to having to you know but but that's also when as as as a parent, that's you you you have to take care of what needs to be taken care of to to make sure that your family has what they need. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Proverbial rock in a hard place. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And so yeah, it it it yeah, it's uh it it was tough. So that was the that that really I I never I at the time I didn't get I didn't get the point to where I was consistent. And and again, maybe I I I know it's all in my head because it was the working through working through the the getting laid off and all of the thing. There's a whole bunch to that that I'm gonna do.
SPEAKER_01The emotional trauma, the mental trauma.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and and I'm not gonna get into the details of it necessarily, but it was it was it was a raw deal. It was a raw deal that put me into that into that position in the first place. And and I was I was I was uh still putting those pieces together. And the the thing that that I've had the fortunate ability to learn over time is like I just I wasn't I wasn't I wasn't dealing with it as as I should have been doing. And shit, I should have been like going to therapy then. You know, it took me took me years to to to go in and like take this seriously. And again, it was at the and you know, one of my uh probably one of my big character flaws is I'd I'll I'll I'll ride it, I'll ride that that wave as far as I can before I am like, hey, I need help. Yeah, most people will. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And also, you know, the stuff that's Oh I shut down for I shut down for an extended period of time before admitting I need fucking help. So good on you. Like, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Well, I mean that took that took that that that took about eight out of those ten years to to to get to that point.
SPEAKER_04And and again, that's the that's the you know, that's the wreckage of So let me ask, uh and feel free to say, you know, I'm I don't want to share too much, but so you get forced into this position where you are looking for jobs, you can't find one, you start in real estate, and you're you're trying to start a new career while basically ignoring these traumas that happened to you and all of the issues that come from you know the self-doubt and everything else of being let go.
SPEAKER_01The emotional stuff.
SPEAKER_04Yes. Um and so what were you turning to to help fill those voids? What were what were the unhealthy things that you were doing that were culminating over these eight years?
SPEAKER_00It's always been it's always been garbage food. That's always been that and and just kind of shutting down.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, you know, not not exercising. And it it really is. It's like it's shutting down and it's filling filling a void with garbage. Totally, totally not much of a drinker. You know, I don't dabble in, don't dabble in drugs and nothing like but the food. Oh, that was that was it. You know, sugary garbage. It just it that was like the one source of comfort. And again, shutting down, kind of like mentally shutting down, just being like overwhelmed by overwhelmed by circumstance, overwhelmed by whatever, you know, I could probably invent 30 things in that in that time to be like, oh, this is oh, you know, woe is me. And I wouldn't, I I wouldn't be upfront about it. I was I I wasn't, I didn't want to be the open complainer, like, oh look at me. Again, I don't want to ask for help, but it was like privately in my head, I'm like, you know, just kind of beating myself up because again, and and this is a I I know it's a very male thing, especially, but I think it's anybody that has the has that you know has that responsibility of caring for for a family that it's like, well, you you don't add up. You don't add up. You're not you're you're not you're not doing what life requires you to do and you're failing at it.
SPEAKER_01You look in the mirror and you're just let down by what's looking back at you, right?
SPEAKER_04Like that's so what was what was the turning point? Was there a an event or a moment that you like woke up to the reality of, okay, the last eight years, the last ten years, like can you talk about that a little bit?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Um so over those 10 years, lots of lots of lots of things happened in that kind of set the stage for that, and including, you know, having a uh lots of substantial financial difficulties. I'll just leave it at that. Um having to liquidate um liquidate some some accounts to to cash flow life and the unfortunate mistake of not withholding money for taxes and getting getting getting behind on Uncle Sam and Double Duped. Yeah. Yeah. And so when I when I exited full-time real estate in 2022 and you know, got into a position where the the the cash flow started to uh you know basically become consistent um and started to get the the uh all the other things fixed, you know, and was was got you know, at least got got on a plan with Uncle Sam and wasn't uh you know wasn't uh you know fearing of myself appearing on a wanted poster in the post office. I thought you looked familiar. So Al Capone. So that's that was about that's about four years ago. So that started that again started to write the ship, and I think that's that's when things like when the treading water became a little bit easier, and I was still not I was still not basically mentally and emotionally improving. Um because I there was still there was again, I was still in this hole.
SPEAKER_01I I I I may have I may have you were you were experiencing some wins, yes, but not feeling or recognizing them as winds. It was just kind of like I was still in the hole. Okay.
SPEAKER_00I I I may not have been as deep as I was years previous. Yeah, but your head's around. I'm still in the hole, and and again, I think at that point uh I was just I I was just doing what I needed to do to kind of keep climbing up out of that. And at the same time, I was still still uh emotionally behaving the way I had been for the previous years, and and I think that was just starting to starting to again compound even more. And and that was actually it was it was almost uh the fact that I was starting to experience some wins and I was starting to kind of come out of this, and it was like I'm still not feeling different. And that that that contradictory of of of experiences and feelings, I think made it even worse.
SPEAKER_01Because do you feel like you were you were trying to get to to a root problem, but you were digging up the wrong roots?
SPEAKER_00Maybe like I I I I would say that that tracks for sure. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Your story and your situation is a perfect example of how we've been led to believe that our joy, our happiness, our contentment within ourselves is valued on the way our external environment looks, how much money you make, how good you look, what you wear, all of that is supposed to help us feel better inside. And it's the biggest fallacy because it's actually the opposite. It starts with the way you think about yourself, it starts with the way you feel about yourself, it starts with being able to create that internally. And then whatever you're doing externally becomes easier, it becomes happier, and then you actually attract more success. Yeah. But it's really, really difficult to reverse that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's uh the you you put it put it perfectly there. Yeah, yeah. It it yeah, I I I and at that point in time I still didn't I still didn't quite get it. And I and I I don't know if I was uh I I can't remember if I was gently nudged or one of the one of the many conversations that my wife and I had that were, you know, like, hey, you gotta like things aren't things aren't working here very well. You're you know, like it's it's just I'm not I'm not sure. Was she really that gentle or was she a little bit more firm than I think? No, I guess she was she was probably a lot more firm. Um and and so I at at some point, probably maybe a couple years into this, uh, is when I I was like, all right, well I I need to I need to start unpacking some of this shit because I'm I'm looking at this and say, it's not just this last two years, it's not just these last ten years. There's 50 years of of of cobwebs in the closet and and things that I've not figured out and and and patterns that I have that are are making all of this stuff worse. So that's when I started started to go and seek therapy and and that was a that was a slow process of of again, I had to I had to go back. I mean I like I I have a of a great therapist that like we even like you know like did some some really cool exercises of like visualizing or like almost like hypnosis going back to things that I don't even remember.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. It's incredible what the brain holds on to.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And so that that started the that started the that started the kind of the unlocking of where I was to where I am at and where I'm going.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And and even through all of that, so that that that all of this has taken a toll on my relationship with my wife. And um over the course of these these two years, um, while I had been still making progress, I still it still hadn't been manifesting in much change yet. I mean, I was I was starting to get a better understanding of of the of how of how I am perceiving things and and understanding a little bit better of maybe why some things are are the way they are or were the way they were. And it still wasn't turning into action. And so finally, it was about it was a year ago or not last um Thanksgiving, but we'll say Thanksgiving 2024, sometime around there. Is that we my wife about a year and four months ago. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I got a pretty good timestamp on. I got a pretty good timestamp on how far, how long ago Thanksgiving. Yep, yep, there you go.
SPEAKER_04Forever ingrained.
SPEAKER_00Ever. And so we there was a we had a tough conversation, and um again, just kind of like I'm just just wasn't showing up. I'm not showing up, and I'm you know, I'm I'm thinking I'm making progress, but I'm it's not translating into action.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And so and even then I wish I could say that that time in 2024, I was like, okay, this is it.
SPEAKER_01Do you think that it's maybe not fair to say that you weren't making progress or as opposed to you were progressing in different areas? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, I Because I hear you say that and I'm like, no, dude, like your last year, because like we've been way more connected in the last year, and the shit that I've seen you accomplish and go through and all that, I'm like, dude, you're absolutely getting better. I I understand, like, obviously, you know, and not to overshare, but your relationship with your wife is what it is right now. It's not where you want it to be, and maybe it's hopefully it's not where she wants it to be, and hopefully there's light at the end of the tunnel in that regard. But the other things that you have done that are accomplishments have have catapulted you in a direction.
460 Pounds And The Switch Flips
SPEAKER_04So share with us a little bit about that. What are the what have you accomplished in the last year?
SPEAKER_00Well, uh so as of well, we'll say starting May of last year, I finally decided to take my health seriously and and kind of a little in some cases, a little extreme, uh, in terms of just like the light switch flipped. And so end of April, early May, I I'm not a hundred percent certain because my scale did not go that far, but as best as I can extrapolate it, I was over four hundred and sixty pounds. Wow. And so that's when when I finally made the the choice to change everything, um I had uh started uh changed my changed my diet, changed my mindset as much as I can, and started, started moving and and um decided at that point, said, all right, well this is this is the this is what I need to do. And and it was actually so I made that decision and started taking action, we'll just say the beginning of May. It was probably mid-May at that point. I asked a friend of mine, I said, what would it be like if I could get into good enough shape to finish the California International Marathon this year? In May, you asked that question? I asked that question to May when I was still like 450 or something, 400 something pounds. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01He lost about six pounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's feeling the momentum. He's fucking riding the wings.
SPEAKER_04He's like, I got this.
SPEAKER_00I got it. Okay. And uh well, in in my friend Jason, shout out to Jason Jeffrey, uh, one of my oldest and dearest friends, and and also the the guy that's gonna, if it's a good idea or a bad idea, he's gonna say, go for it. I love that. You know, he's we all need those friends in our lives. 100%. Whose car are we driving? Yeah. And so he was he was he was like, that would be awesome. I I I he would he'll tell you exactly what he said, but it was it was definitely a lot more colorful than that. Okay. Um That's okay. We toggle, we toggle the uh number. Yeah, and I we don't bleep it out. We just say over 80 hammered. I always I always hammer what he said at you. So he says, he says, that would be fucking awesome, I think, is what he said. Yeah. And he was the one, one or two out of the six billion or eight billion people on earth that was like, oh, that's cool, because everybody else, and and this goes back to the the conversation we were having just as you were walking into the room here, Kaylee. It was, you know, everybody else is like, whatever, fat ass. Come on, okay, okay.
SPEAKER_04It all makes sense now. That was the nobody's what I walked into today, guys. I was like, this is gonna be an interesting podcast.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01Let's see if Mick kills Dan before this thing's over and we wait till it's over.
SPEAKER_04Okay, fat ass. Nice to meet you on you, Dave Lee. Great intro.
SPEAKER_00So so that was that was this, that's how the stage got set. And and I, you know, and again, I just approached it by asking the question. I never made a declaration. I never said, I'm gonna do this, because I had learned I've learned so much. And and even before all of this, I I I I can be like it's it's an it's a kind of a balancing of the ego, like, oh yeah, I could totally do that, or I'm totally gonna do this and don't. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And then you let yourself down.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So I I just again approached approach it from the standpoint of just asking the question, what if? What if I could do this? What if I can I can absolutely and the criteria was very simple. Finish. Whether it takes me three hours or twelve hours. Whether they're packed up and gone. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04That doesn't matter. You don't need any remote.
SPEAKER_00It's finished. It was what if what if I could be in good enough shape to to do it and finish? And again, it was one of those things where it was just the it was it was more of the it was more of the mental exercise of just, okay, this is even if even at that time, I one, he would tell you, and and other friends have tell you, because I've I've gone through various weight loss journeys in the past and have have had you know monster, monster transformations in the past. And so they they're like, Matt, if we know that you're the type of person that can do it, and you and if you want to, you're going to. But at the same time, I'm I'm thinking, I I at the time I was thinking, I was just, I'm just trying to seed, okay, what if I could do this? What if I can, what if I can in in approaching it almost with curiosity.
SPEAKER_01And in instead of instead of, you know, I've got this visual of Matt just as a cat just pawing, just pawing at a the idea of a marathon.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. That's pretty much what 460 pounds. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Fully aware of like how the beating that your feet and ankles take every day.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, that was the thing. It's my visual.
SPEAKER_01I'm sorry, I didn't want to interrupt.
SPEAKER_00But that's the thing though, too, is this this is uh still at a stage where I was I I had made, you know, I had made some progress, and I think he and I just got done um doing a hike up in Tahoe, and it was it was a relatively easy hike, but at the same time it was it was a big thing for me because I, you know, just easy for some. Yeah. It uh in and just to again kind of put paint a little context into this, um, where I live, I've got a I live, I live in El Dorado County in the hills, and not El Dorada Hills, but a little bit farther up, um, my driveway is roughly a 17% grade. There's a there's about a 30-foot, 30-foot incline over the length of like maybe 200 feet. And at my at my fattest, that hill was like the bane of my existence. Because I, if I walked up that hill, and I I would I would be out of not just out of breath. It was just like, you know, like I I was sitting there like, you know, almost like Red Fox in, you know, like, oh hey, take me home, you know. Uh and so that was actually I had prior to starting that hike, that was basically that was the first thing I did when I started my my my exercise is like I was I didn't have I didn't have the ability to I wasn't gonna run. Yeah. I I like I my muscles were not in I I wasn't gonna sit there and like jump into a CrossFit situation. I was like, I I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna wreck myself. You have to start small. So I started small. I started walking up that hill. And and again, I think that was that was the you know, that thing had taunted me for many years of my life, and I was like, oh. So that's that's the thing I I went after. I said, okay, well, I'm I'm just gonna I'm just gonna start walking up and down this hill. And it and it's it's something I still do to this day. In fact, I did it this morning. Um, which you know, we'll we we can get to we can get to the nerdy numbers around that later.
Do Hard Things To Build Willpower
SPEAKER_01I love it. The goal, the goals are awesome. But I w I want to interject because that now we're now we're on to the you know, I wrote on the board do hard shit, and that's something I've heard you say multiple times, and it's something that um it's something that I was leaning into prior to my injury. Um that that I I I still just love it. Like and I and I want to like beat my kids over the head with it. Like don't ever take the easy road. Like do do it the hard way. Learn the lessons. Take the lumps. Um because I think just in general with the fact that like we as a human species are doing everything to make everything as easy as possible. We want all the shortcuts. Trevor Burrus We want all the shortcuts exactly. And it's like do the hard stuff.
SPEAKER_04Every shortcut has repercussions.
SPEAKER_01Trevor Burrus Yeah but like the the rewards and I think so so so this ties in exactly to doing the hard shit. You know I I I love hearing you talk about your fucking driveway. Like I watch all your social media stuff and I'm like oh he's on the driveway. You know Matt's Matt's miserable right now should I text him?
SPEAKER_00Yeah anytime. Yeah so that that that yeah I'll I'll get I'll get to the I'll get to the ethos that I that I leaning into. But yeah so that that driveway became I that was the that was the thing I started fighting against. I was like all right well I this this is you know I almost envisioned like it like taunting me and laughing at me and I was like screw that I'm I'm just gonna I'm just gonna do it. And and so I almost every single day and starting at that point I'd I would walk up and down it started off with like 30 minutes and then it became 45 minutes and then it became multiple times a day then it became carrying uh dumbbells or strapping on a 60 pound weight vest um sometimes running not a whole lot of running but but uh well right because as but as as you're losing the weight yeah yeah you're actually challenging yourself less by yeah unless you increase the duration or the distance like yeah right that's and that's really hard it's hard to wrap your head around and you're like well I'm my time is somewhat limited.
SPEAKER_01I have other responsibilities. I only have so much time I can do this.
SPEAKER_00So like there's there's a there's a there's a thought process that's got to go into that right like well and and again this is so you know kind of that that seed got planted around you know what if I could you know do the do this marathon stupid thing and I you know again I didn't I still wasn't even at that point I had been you know the weight had been coming off pretty good and uh had made had made a lot of progress in how much did you lose between May and December?
SPEAKER_04About 130, 140 pounds somewhere around there wow yeah yeah it uh it in in in in in most cases people look at like well that's you know no you lost my wife that's I was just about to say that's my whole body weight yeah like you lost me in six months like that's incredible.
SPEAKER_01And I mean obviously we and we're focused heavily on the physical portion but like what kind of dietary restrictions or changes did you make modifications? You had a sweet tooth you were eating like shit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah yeah well that was the the big thing was is just eliminate the eliminate the shit eliminate the crap um mostly mostly pretty close to carnivore mostly ketogenic and um I did a lot of intermittent fasting still do intermittent fasting um and that's the the that combination of of keep because what I what I also learned in in the last several years really about the you know the how sugar just wrecks your whole everything metabolic function and you know the the role of insulin and everything else it uh it it was like okay if I can just stay out of that that alone is gonna help because it's you know it's it it's turns off the fat storage to fat burning and and then the the fasting along with that was again really was was really helpful and at the same time it was it was a it was discipline building more than anything.
SPEAKER_01Yeah I was just how much how much of a challenge is the dietary discipline right now like if uh what was your go-to just destruction food? Uh any like anything with sugar like so if we put if I put five Snicker bars in front of you right now like how hard is it to say no?
SPEAKER_00Right now it'd be easy to say no because I I've got the you know I've got the camera staring at me it's still it's still it's still very challenging. In fact that that was you know something we you and I were talking about before here is like right you know I've I for the last couple months I've kind of been in a you know taking a few wins kind of in a flat spot and even I said yeah and even like now I felt like I'm I felt like I'm kind of drifting and in and I I'm giving my I've given myself plenty of grace through this because there's been a lot of life changes. There's there's there's a lot of stuff going on personally and and you know emotionally holding things together through these changes it's it's tough. And I also recognize like okay hey there's there's been a couple you know there's there's been a couple blips in the pattern here and those blips I am you know I I fight back those blips when they do pop up and in fact that was you know as I was saying to you Dan that I maybe it's just the you know the the the the time of this podcast recording was like okay you can't come on here in be full of shit and and neutral. Yeah you gotta put it back in gear.
SPEAKER_01Yeah so that was the thing you know that was like it's you know I I kind of asked the question I'm like that was kind of a dickhead question. But like I didn't ask it for that reason. I because I think like we say like we want someone who's listening to this podcast to take a nugget away. And I think the reason for my question was you're pretty far down this road and pretty committed to obviously your your journey I don't think necessarily I don't it doesn't sound to me like you have an end goal that's very well defined but you're you're absolutely a hundred percent committed to the journey. So to hear that you're a year and a half or a year into this thing and that those are still challenging things I think for somebody who wants to get on that journey they need to know that like that's really really important that you don't just wake up one day and not have those cravings.
SPEAKER_00Oh no it's it's it is a it is a constant constant battle and I I I don't win every battle. Yeah and I think these last these last few weeks and oh gosh this is I I do have to I do have to say that I'm grateful for the little nudges and and I love that my kids are plugged in with this as well because they've been watching this and not only am I you know setting the example but I their their encouragement is is extremely helpful including so this is this is about as transparent as real as I can get this is just a few days ago and uh and we I I I was made I think I'd made them dinner and I had some treats out or something like uh my daughter had made some cookies to give to a new neighbor and I remember I I had a cookie and they called you on it no it was it wasn't so much they they they're they're learning from their dad because they didn't call me out but they asked the question they're like so are are you uh are are are you gonna restart or are you gonna are you know like a little passive aggressive well it wasn't even it wasn't even it was it was truly out of curiosity it was very pointed yeah and and I think they were and I was like fuck I'll be on the driveway. Yeah oh no it it it took I mean it I I'll be honest too it it took me a couple days for that really to set in and I think it was even again I uh the the this the serendipity of this recording date is it kind of all fits together because I think even as I was driving over here I'm thinking about that going gosh I'm I'm like I I'm I I can't I I I can't let them down and and and give up because that was that was the thing I was like I had to ask myself am I giving up you're not doing it for yourself though am I am I am I is this is this really is is I've I'm I've come this far and this is I'm just gonna just gonna coast from here and is this my mission accomplished. Yeah. And no that was the thing and that again kind of leading up to this is like well I can't show up here and be on camera and be be recorded and say okay yeah this is oh rah rah rah I love that this is like this that you're using this as an accountability because I mean you've been so open and so and so generous with the experience.
SPEAKER_01I mean this is great. Like this has really been a fantastic conversation.
SPEAKER_04There are so many people that are battling demons inside and we create certain habits and certain lifestyles, lifestyles around that. And what most people don't understand is the tenacity that it takes to continue making a choice that defies those impulses every single day. And those impulses never go away. They will never go away but allowing yourself to have grace of like yeah I ate the cookie but I'm gonna be back on the driveway tomorrow that's the tenacity that most people don't have. Most people will eat the cookie and they'll be like well I ate the cookie so I'm gonna eat the plate and then I'm gonna go feel sorry for myself and I'm gonna order a tub of ice cream and drink it in the bath.
SPEAKER_00I I wish I I wish I could say that it was that easy. Well maybe on this one example but even just uh you know before this again weeks ago less than less than a few weeks ago there have been plenty of those times where I was like all right well I'm gonna have the ice cream and I'm gonna do this and and I did have that little moment of of self-pity that was that either led to it or followed it and yeah you're right that's the thing is like like and and I I I don't feel myself beating myself up over it as much as I did before but at the same time I'm I'm sitting there almost almost I don't want to say an out of body experience. That's not that's not it but just taking on the role of the observer and saying huh you realize that you're you're doing that thing again.
SPEAKER_01Let me ask you this are you at a point where you feel like maybe you need to recalibrate your goal or your or or maybe not your goal but your um your motivation?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. There's been a little bit of that I I and I I think I I don't remember if I was I I don't remember if I was thinking this or if I had said it to you uh before this, but I yes I there's there's a little bit of recalibration that needs to occur and it is occurring and I and again I kind of the reflection that I've taken over those last over those last couple months and specifically for these last few weeks is I I I I think this has just been a stage of grief that I've been going through and and I recognize that and and again I I I credit my kids for in in I don't know if it was God talking through them and it just gave me that point to reflect on like oh gosh yeah I'm like why am I doing this? Why why why not just why am I doing this grand journey thing but why am I why why am I at this stage right now kind of taking the foot off the gas pedal why am I doing this to where I'm not sabotaging myself but I'm not helping myself and and I you know again I I maybe it is maybe it is a stage of grief of going through these you know going through these relationship changes going through just the things that you know the things that are going on and and I don't know it and again maybe it's part of the old pattern of like okay well when things get real emotionally the the the default might be to comfort with with garbage or or kind of just stop. And and that's that's the thing that I I I never quite stopped and I I would kind of fight myself be like all right hey get out there and you know go go go for a walk. Go do some hard shit. Yeah going back to that so the ethos that I lean on and and I think this is the to your point about almost recalibrating it's just getting back to okay my my ethos is to do hard shit that I don't want to do. Right. Because it's not just doing the hard shit and and and Andrew Huberman has a great podcast on this are not familiar or the listeners aren't familiar, Andrew Huber Huberman's a a neuroscientist and uh you know he's he's studied these things and read lots of studies on this but it's not just about doing hard things, but it's truly doing things you don't want to do um builds up and and I'm not a I'm I'm not a scientist so I don't know the name I can't remember the name of the part of the brain that is essentially your willpower.
SPEAKER_01I'm guessing it's the opposite part of the brain from scrolling on your on your phone. Yes it's the it's the it's the exact opposite of that.
SPEAKER_00So so what the what the research what the research shows is that by doing things you don't want to do it builds that it strengthens that it it gives you basically it builds the willpower. And again it's not just doing hard stuff because there's hard stuff that I do that I like doing like lifting weights and and doing some of the physical stuff I like doing it but I think it's the the the the tweak there is is sometimes I don't like starting.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So just making even if it's it in again that's the you know getting back to the marathon and things like that. It's not always the it's got to be hard and things you don't want but doing the things you don't want to do.
SPEAKER_01Or just recognizing that things you don't want to do is the hard thing. Yeah yeah getting started like I I love that's absolutely love that like make the thing that you don't want to do make that the hard thing and then go do it. Yeah and I tell my kids all the time when they're procrastinating putting stuff off it drives me crazy. I'm like just get your homework done.
SPEAKER_04It's also true the other side of the coin of that is that every time you make the choice not to do the hard thing or you fail yourself or you break the promise to yourself it eats away at you and it makes choosing the hard thing even harder to do right oh God yes it makes it easier to put it off again the next time next time and every time it compounds either choice you make it's compounding either for the better or for the worse.
SPEAKER_00Yeah all right and and then and then you have your your 11 year old son say Dad are you going to be gaining weight again yeah that's brutal.
The Marathon Question Becomes Real
SPEAKER_01All right I'm chomping at the bit I need I need to get into the marathon I need I need the thought process just give us give us give us the stuff man there was the there was this really cool guy no that that had had a little injury and and his and and his his plugging into it was the inspiration.
SPEAKER_00Well I I say that in a little bit of jest but that that is true. I I I I am very grateful for you um you plugging in during during the actual event and even the lead up to it.
SPEAKER_01But okay so where do you want me to do like do you want me to go race day or yeah let's let's start when the alarm goes off on race day.
Race Morning Nerves And Prayer
SPEAKER_00I mean you've prepared yourself for this we're well aware yeah um but can I can I start with just the I want to go back to a little bit wherever you need and and I'm not gonna I'm not gonna to to draw out what happens in in that time frame because suffice to say you could do the TLDR it's Matt went up and down his driveway lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of times ran did some stuff to get prepared and and and throughout that whole time I was like okay I'm I don't see a reason why I can't I don't see a reason why I can't I don't see a reason why I can't all the way leading up to that. However the the the point I wanted to bring up was is so I asked that question back in May. Again and it was kind of almost a throwaway at that point. I was like oh yeah that would be kind of cool because it was like I still didn't think like I'm gonna actually do it because I'm somewhat cheap and I didn't want to spend the$300 or whatever it is for the sign up I was like you know whatever. So the the company I work for um has sponsorships for um to to for tickets for the marathon. And so this is like a month or maybe even two months later. I don't I I can't remember exactly when but let's let's say at least a month after I made that declaration I get a just a random email from the you know from from the the program people that do this kind of thing and says hey California International Marathon tickets I'm like oh Jesus Christ. The universe fucking divine intervention I'm like well like when you ask God for a sign and it's a big green sign blinking in your face and you're like is that the email that's here you go something something is telling me that so anyways that was that was the divine intervention of like okay well and and even still I was like well I'm gonna sign up I'm gonna get the ticket and still kind of the it wasn't me telling my myself but it was me kind of placating the people who were may have been a little doubtful that I could do it. I said, you know I'm not gonna do this if I don't feel I can't do it. I'm not again if I'm 400 pounds I'm not gonna do it. Yeah I'm I there are there are going to be clear benchmarks that I have in my head that have to be cleared before I before I go into this. So anyways so that was but that was the that was the divine intervention for this to said okay well I guess this we're I guess we're doing this now. So again that's the that's where the the lots and lots of hill climbs and running and this and that and you know occurred. So race day so I I got myself a hotel in Folsom at the Lake Natoma Inn. Best decision ever so I didn't have to drive down and make it you know make it a big pain in the butt. So I wake up I don't know it's like four o'clock because I we I think the the buses pick us up at like five something right in front of the hotel and take you to the take you to the to the starting line. And you know I just I I felt mentally ready. I was like okay we're gonna do this so I took a selfie you know because you got to do that right you know like hey here's document it here's me yeah I mean I so I did it and uh and you know little uh side story on that is um I I don't know my kids found a you know because this the CIM is is in December yeah um so it's Christmas time you know we got things going on I don't know where they were that them and their mom were were out shopping or something they said hey we found a headband for you and it was a cool like was it December 1st right was it on yeah seventh December 7th 7th it's usually the first the first Sunday Sunday thank you Saturday or Sunday for some reason I thought I was still in the hospital when you finished but you were you were home weren't you yeah I was home yeah so so they gave me this this cute reindeer headband this brown headband with a little little poofy dots and and some reindeer horns on it and so I I I wore that the entire time um and so but that was you know that was that that was that was my my bringing them into it and me carrying them with me throughout the whole thing. So anyways you know get on get on the bus and get on there and I think when it was when I got off the bus and you're walking up Folsom Auburn Road because they drop you off I don't know like a solid half mile before the starting line.
SPEAKER_04Well you got to get warmed up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah and and that's also you know and plus it's just that's the only place where the buses can go and not like run over people. And so you know you're walking and then like you kind of like it's it's it's like you at first you're seeing just the few people that are in your bus, well few like 50 people but then you know there's buses upon buses upon buses of people and they just start to converge and all of a sudden this few people is like now it's several hundred people and then oh my God there's like 10,000 people all here and and wild so kind of like absorbing that energy was was was pretty cool because I remember starting to get that feeling of like oh wow this is wow there's this is it's I can't even describe it.
SPEAKER_01So you're so you're it's a balance of like anxiety but also like excitement. Yeah yeah yeah and on top of that I And I've got to imagine not to harp on this but you're looking around going there's not a lot of people that that look like you at the start of there was not that many.
SPEAKER_00I I would say there's you know there there was in and fortunately I guess for for that part I was in the very back because you know I'm like I'm I'm I'm the bottom of the barrel in terms of my pace time and they they stagger everybody by by pace time. So so the so the you know the uh the world record holders I fortunately didn't see them and and and I I I I didn't have to worry about that comparison thing. Okay.
SPEAKER_01But there was th there was still like so you're at least you're grouped with similar pace Yeah I still I would still
SPEAKER_00Say that like if if if I was if you were to line us up in a police lineup, you'd be like, that guy does not belong. You know, not to say that one of these things does not belong. Exactly. Not to say that there may have been other people that that could have also been sure pointed at like that. But I was definitely, I was definitely in in a in a small group of people that like, really? Really? So but but the but the on top of that, the anxiety and the energy, but the just the kind of the the the indescribable energy of everybody there. It's it's almost like a it's it's there's like an electricity or a magnetism. And it's like you feel it. Like I could feel it in, I could feel myself inside. I could feel I could feel my my anxiety or my my excitedness excitedness. But there's also it's like that nervous energy, those butterflies. The 10,000 other people, like you can feel that energy too, which was which was cool. And so, you know, and basically it's just a matter of so you know, to for sake of brevity, you know, like the next hour, I don't even remember how long, hour, hour and a half before even it's uh close to race time. You know, you're just doing whatever you're doing to like pass the time and you're just moving around, just walking around, walking around, having observing, you know, taking taking the picture, like there's the there's a liquor store there, and I took a picture and and found uh found a David Lee Roth picture from from uh the the video Yankee Rose. I don't know if you if you both I don't know if you guys know this or not, but that music video starts off with like David Lee Roth is like wearing some like kind of crazy headdress, he's got his face painted, and he goes up to this liquor store, he says, give me a give me a bottle of or he says, give me a bottle of anything and a glazed donut to go. That was the thought I had when I'm looking at this at this liquor store, getting ready, and the liquor store was open. Getting ready for for this monumental task. I'm like, you know, my my little funny brain's like, oh yeah, that's a funny one. So I take a picture of the liquor store and then superimpose the Dave, the David, uh, David Lee Roth picture from the video with the with the quote from the from the video, and then I, you know, then then I kind of go back to doing what I'm doing. But really, like I think though the one thing that that I I really want to lean into right now, it was probably like the the five minutes leading to to uh to race time to the to the starting gun. I gotta I gotta give the the people at the CIM their soundtrack and their hype man on freaking point. Like the music was just like, oh yeah. And it was, I mean, it was it was it was a mix of things that was like no chance doubt is creeping into your mind. 100% because the music is on point, and and the and the hype man is just he in it, and I remember he's like, he's like, think of this as you know, think of why you're doing this. And and I mean he he really drilled on that. And I think at that point, um, this may have been like it was less than five minutes to go. And I just remember, I just was like, okay, I've gotta I'm gonna get myself centered and ready. And I just I s I squatted down and I prayed, and I just then I just sat there almost like meditating, of like, okay. You know, and and next thing you know, like I could feel that I feel that lump in my in my chest, and then it moves to my throat. Next thing I know, I've got tears welling up in my eyes of just and um I'm almost reliving it now of just like you know, the past six months of what I've been doing, and then and all of this is happening probably in like 30 seconds, but I swear it was like one of those moments where like the time slowed down because I'm like I'm like traveling beyond these next six months, and I'm going back, I'm just going back. I'm like, you know, and just this this total culmination of all of this of like holy fucking shit, this all of this stuff brought me to this point, all of that bad stuff, all of the good stuff, but all of it together has me here right now.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you're sick brain, you're like looking forward to running 24 miles over the next however many years 26.2 or something like that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And I and I'm just I'm just I am I was I I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I was I I and and and at that point, I think even before this, but really at that point, I was like, there's no way in fucking hell that I'm not gonna finish this. Yeah, and and I had I joked, I said, I don't care if it takes me 12 hours, I'll finish it. I'll I'll finish it in the dark. Yeah, I don't care. I you know what it doesn't matter. I'm gonna finish this. But but at that point, I was like, I wasn't quite delusional thinking, yeah, I'm gonna finish it and still get the medal, you know, because they're still, you know, they're still doing their things. But I was like, oh yeah, this is there's there, there is there is zero, zero chance. There's no other option. Zero chance for me to not finish this. And and then, you know, kind of as the you know, as I'm doing that, and I'm I'm still still still squatting there meditating or whatever it is, and I'm listening to the listening to the guy saying, saying the things he's saying, and then I was like, all right, it's go time. And and then and then everything starts. And gun goes off. Gun goes off we're off and running. Well, it you know, see a people, you know, a little editorial note there. Since you're at the back of the back of the line, it takes a while. It was like probably a solid like 10 plus minutes. Oh, wow. Before, because you know, you got 10,000 people there f filtering through this. And you're kind of walking out. Yep. And so so it was like the mass is moving towards the sound.
SPEAKER_04Haven't you ever done Run to Feed the Hungry Downtown? No. Takes forever. Oh, yeah, shit. It's so fun.
SPEAKER_00And and so, so that I actually kind of like that because it was like, okay, I'm I'm it it just helped build up more and more to that point. Yeah. And then it finally is like, okay, I see the people moving in front of me. All right, let's go. And and it started off, and again, I was again had no desire and no, you know, delusion to say, you're like, I'm not even I don't even care if I stay with the pace of the of the slowest pace group, the six-hour pace group, because that's technically the it's a six-hour time limit for you to get your for you to get your medal. Um, and I was like, I don't care. I I'll I'll run with them as long as I run with him. And funny enough, I it was before, you know, because you go down Folsom Auburn, because it's the the start line's right at where the dam road and Folsom Auburn start.
SPEAKER_01At that stoplight right there, right?
Running Alone Fueled By Gratitude
SPEAKER_00And yeah, yeah, right around there. And you you go down to Oak Avenue and you turn right on Oak Avenue. By the time we got to, and I don't even know if that's like maybe a half mile at best. It's not far. And at that point, they were already like the the the slowest pace group was already well ahead of me. There was plenty of people around me that were also, you know, not not uh not fast. And so at that point, I was like, all right, well, hey, I'm I'm just in it. I'm just in it. Let's go. And in fact, I looking back, I actually am very glad I was at the back of the pack because it made the experience so much more personal for me. Because, you know, that was one of the cool things that I I wasn't really thinking about. I didn't even think uh just it never had an experience before. But all the people on the side of the road that were out there cheering on. I mean, like people that live like, especially like on Oak Avenue, it's a great example. You know, there's there's houses that right right up against there. So there's people that they're like tailgating. Yeah. You know, like, oh hey, I'll take a beer, you know. Uh but you know, they were but the you know, they were cheering, cheering everybody on, but that was the thing, is and and that was my experience almost through the whole thing, is because I was it was just me, I mean, and maybe a handful of people behind me and a handful of people in front of me, but really like in my in my space, in in in like kind of like the auditory uh space, I was the only person at the time. So when they're cheering me on, they're cheering me on. And and again, it made it so much more of a personal interaction. And I honestly cannot I I don't know how many times I said thank you. I it was it was almost I I don't think there was there wasn't I don't think there was anybody that that that was cheering on that I didn't personally say thank you to. So I mean I I don't I I wish I had a like, you know, if if I had a microphone attached, I I could tell you, but I it was thousands, thousands of times saying thank you. And I think that's the that's the biggest thing out of all of this. And even while And it's the simplest thing, right? Yeah, people showing up to cheer you on. Yeah. And and just that that I was so overwhelmed with gratitude that entire time. And and and and that was that was the most amazing part of it all. And and I I gotta say it probably helped keep me going, but it it wasn't really you know, it wasn't the you know, I'm not gonna say that that is probably the one biggest thing that I did not expect to happen that that really did fill me up. That that was yeah, that was probably the the biggest thing. And you know, and again, so I'm I'm at the I'm at the the back of the pack. I do have I I will say is I'm I don't know if I was the last person to ever cross because there were people behind me. I don't know, don't care. I can at least say this I did pass some people. But you know, at the end of the day, I know I passed some people as well as and you finished, and I finished. That's and I finished. That's amazing. I I and I may have finished as they were cleaning up everything and I didn't get the medal. I don't care. My my wife and kids showed up, and I was able to get well, I had my my shirt from from the the sign up, but they she was able to get me a uh a finisher sticker, so that's that's good enough for me. Um but yeah, like the in the that experience was so cool because uh by the time I got to let's see here, it was past Carmichael. So for those of you that are familiar with Fair Oaks Boulevard, because it you come down Oak and then you turn on to Fair Oaks Boulevard, and you pretty much ride Fair Oaks, run Fair Oaks Boulevard as it until it turns into 8th Street, and then you go into and and basically go up J Street um till you till you're in Midtown. But in on Fair Oaks Boulevard, pretty much past the big curve, and what's that, Carmichael still before before it becomes Arden Arcade or up until that point, I was kind of running pace with the cleanup crew, and then they finally passed me by on that stretch, on that stretch of of Fair Oaks, uh before well before Watt, well before Watt Avenue. So but but so but we'll just say, so at that point, you know, and it was I had the conversation with the CHP guy, and he's like, hey, you know, they're you know, you you can keep doing what you're doing. I just want to let you know that the uh, you know, the once they pass you, you know, we're not we don't have any uh you know any traffic controls and stuff. I said, okay, so I'm just I said totally get it. I'm just a weird pedestrian that has a marathon number on them. I I I'm good with that. And and that was pretty much me from Watt Avenue all the way to the finish line. It was just me. I had my I had my my bib number on and and I was doing it, and I was walking, I was running, I was walking, I was running. And and uh in and even coming through East Sacramento into Midtown, it was just like, you know, everybody's kind of getting on with their Sunday, having fun, and you know, here I am, and did get a kind of couple strange looks like, huh? All right, yeah. And so, and then finally, and and I had been like almost like every five miles, like taking a picture of my of my my watch showing the showing the the miles, and then take a selfie here and there. And then when I got into to to midtown, I think I hit the one mile mark. I was like, you know, I like I actually took I took a picture of the of the phone and actually took like a like a full-blown selfie. Because I at that point I was like, holy fucking shit, I can't believe it. I'm like a mile away. Yeah, holy shit.
SPEAKER_01And there's no way I'm not feeling away. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I'm like, yeah, I'm like, and and I wasn't going fast. I was walking at that point, but I was like, you know what, I'm feeling good. I'm I can I could I could do this. There's no there was no doubt, there's never any doubt, but there was really no doubt at that point. And I think I I had crossed 15th, and I was probably somewhere between 15th and 12th. I don't remember exactly where, but it was pretty close to the capital. And all of a sudden I see in front of me, I see my kids. Like, awesome. So my kids and my wife are are they basically they came to watch me cross the line. They're like, like, well, hey, let's go find dad. And so they came and met me probably like for like the last like maybe a half mile out. So I got to finish the last half mile with with the kids, walking with me and coming through and crossing the imaginary finish line because the finish line no longer existed at that point. And yeah, it was like that that that was probably I it's har it's hard to say. I mean, that that has a a much stronger emotional anchor than all of that gratitude throughout, but I would say they were very, very well equally weighted. But that that that memory of of finishing with them and and their you know, just how proud they I could tell how proud they were of what I did and the pictures I took.
SPEAKER_01I can share with you the picture of you and your kids with your arms in the air and your antlers still on, popped up in my feed, and I got emotional because I was just so fucking proud of you for doing that. Thank you. Um it was super cool. Um obviously, you know, my my story of of of of those couple weeks that led up to it and you doing it, um, the parallels were pretty crazy, but uh it was so inspiring to see you doing that like when I was in the shape that I was in. Like it was really cool, man. Like I was leaning on you big time, like I was so fucking proud. Like I was so fucking proud to be your friend and be associated with you at that point, and that picture, like it was it was awesome.
SPEAKER_04Dan might be tearing up. I just want you guys to listen.
SPEAKER_00I'm I'm right there, I'm right there with it. I that that that that fills my cup so much.
Finishing With Family And Next Goals
SPEAKER_04So that's an incredible story, truly. Like, yeah, I hope everybody listened to it. Will you do it again? Yeah, you have to. Funny you should ask.
SPEAKER_00Around two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. Well, yeah. It uh I when I finished, I was like, okay, I I I I don't know if I'll ever need to do another one. I was like, that was good. And it wasn't, it wasn't so it wasn't, it was a great experience. And it wasn't so hard, even like the next day when like everything started to hurt. Um I was I still wasn't like, nope, never, never, never would do it, you know. Because there's some people that do it. They're like, yep, I've done it, don't have to do it ever again.
SPEAKER_04You're inspiring me. It's on my bucket list. I do want to run a marathon, and you know, it's always a question of like, okay, well, when would I do it? You know, but I think there's no better time than well now. Just commit.
SPEAKER_00If uh if a 460-pound fat ass can say what if I could do it, I'm I'm sure someone someone like you who's in much better shape than I was. I think I could do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So so yeah, so I I didn't, I never said no that I would never do it again, but I was also okay, I've done it. Yeah. What's next? And and there's plenty of what's next. Um though gave it about a month or so. And and of course the um the magic, the magic of the of of the emails started coming through again from from the from the program at work, and they're like, hey, uh the such and such, you know, is now open. I was like, oh, I wonder if there's other marathons. So I might have signed up for a marathon in Long Beach. Yeah, and I might have also signed up for CIM part two. Okay. Nice.
SPEAKER_02Round of applause. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So that's that's the yeah, I and again, I I what my my wife had given me the the the the um she's like, you know, if you want to do it again, do somewhere different, somewhere, you know, besides, you know, besides Sacramento. Now that you've done it, do something exp, you know. So that was kind of like the driving force behind, oh, I could go to Long Beach. That'd be kind of cool. Okay, all right. So I did that. Don't do San Francisco.
SPEAKER_03Don't. Oh God.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. All hills. Yeah. Well, all hills. To me, that's that's almost like a that's almost like that's like being at home. Yeah, because that's the that's the other thing. So I was for my 2026 goals, I started writing things down. And on top of those two, those two marathons, um, I have it on my goal to summit Mount Whitney this year. So that's on there. So yeah, when it comes to like climbing hills, I that's I you know the the way I always look at it is like I'm I'm like a diesel engine. I know I'm not I'm not gonna be the fastest, but you know what, you put me on you, you you you put me on anything, I can turn it some torque and some horsepower.
SPEAKER_01Exactly.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and and I can climb that, I can climb that hill. So but yeah, I I I don't know about the San Francisco one. We'll see. But if they if if if it's if it ever if it ever appears as a hey, we can get you a ticket, I might just have to, but the universe has another divine intervention.
SPEAKER_03That was it.
One Day As Grandpa And Goodbye
SPEAKER_01That was maybe the open the gate podcast and sponsor a participant. God knows I'm not doing it. Not anytime soon. We are we are coming to the end, and we're so appreciative for you being so open and and and just so generous with your experience. Uh we we wrap up every podcast with this question. Um, if you could be anyone for a day, who would it be? And and maybe what would you do? Um curious, curious to see, you know, who Matt would be for a day.
SPEAKER_00You know what you gave me this, and I've you know, like so that I didn't get like side, you know, sideways with it trying to figure out what I would. I'm still I'm still I'm still uh still thinking through that. I I've I've got I think part of it is there's so many people that I would love to love to walk in their shoes. Gotta choose one. I know, I know, I know. And and I'm I'm gonna do my best to not create the dead air space. You know something there's something about it. I I I actually would like to I would like to go back in time and uh experience life as my grandfather experienced during like either during the depression and or through World War II of just and it's in one to have that that relatable experience that he's my grandfather, but to experience the time then. Yeah. And you know, maybe it's the hard stuff thing knocking around in my bread, but it's also you know, like I like I have the the thought of like the 40s swing music, you know, playing on the radio.
SPEAKER_04I I it's And life was so much more simple back then. Yeah, it really appreciate you know, the struggle that they all went through made you appreciate just little moments with your family having food on the table, like the things that we take for granted every day was so monumental for them.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. I I yeah, I I I think that's a that's uh that says it really well. And and again, I think it's just one of those things where it would be such a it again, it would just be an interesting experience and uh may also help provide a little bit more, kind of a little bit more insight about about who I am. Yeah, because it would be it would be through his eyes and through his eyes as a as a younger as a younger person.
SPEAKER_04That's beautiful. Well, thank you for sharing your story with us today. Thank you. I really appreciate it.
SPEAKER_01I know this is a gigantic platform for you, so we'll so we're sorry in advance for all the people sliding into your DMs. No, no, please. Yeah, you know.
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