Truth and Beauty: Perspective Shift

Truth and Beauty: A New Season and the Unveiling of Truth

The host returns after a year-and-a-half hiatus to launch season five, rebranding The Jenni Carroll Perspective as Truth and Beauty to better reflect a focus on spiritual truth and the peace and perspective shift it reveals. She explains the break in 2024 came from feeling off-track and unsure what to say, and now intends to share what she has learned about core existential questions while acknowledging she does not have all answers. She recounts her upbringing in rural Michigan in a Baptist church, later converting to Catholicism, and becoming a marriage and family therapist. A conversation about Wayne Dyer sparked deeper spiritual study and meditation, which intensified during COVID, including an experience of overwhelming light and love. Later readings of A Course in Miracles, Gary Renard’s books, and attending Gareth Duignam's retreat brought major clarity, reduced anxiety, and changed how she experiences daily life. She invites listeners to come with an open mind, commit to loving kindness, and expects to be fully honest without watering down topics.

00:00 Truth and Beauty Intro

01:05 Season Five Update

01:58 Why the Name Changed

02:44 Big Questions and Purpose

04:30 The Podcast Hiatus

05:23 Growing Up Baptist

07:01 Faith Questions and Adulthood

08:52 Therapy Career Path

09:40 Spiritual Awakening Begins

10:43 COVID and the Light Experience

13:30 Course in Miracles Breakthrough

14:49 Puzzle Pieces Click Together

15:53 Retreat and Unified Truth

17:41 Life Changes and Inner Peace

21:11 Season Invitation and Closing

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https://www.youtube.com/@JenniCarroll-TruthBeauty

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Transcript

Hello! Welcome to Season 5 of The Jenni Carroll Perspective. As I’m sure you noticed from the intro, there have been a few changes since we last met. First off, you may have wondered where the heck I’ve been, as there has been quite some time between our last season and the launching of Season 5 ...about a year and a half to be exact. And then, the name change.... the Jenni Carroll Perspective is now Truth & Beauty. So I think a little update is due, and for today’s episode my intention is to share more about my own story, the reason behind the gap in episodes and why I decided to change the name. And also... importantly... a little about what you can expect from this season as well as hopefully, many more seasons to come.

So let’s start with the name change. When I decided to continue the podcast, the old name felt... well, old. And kind of irrelevant. I wanted a name that would better reflect the content of this show. And in brainstorming name ideas, Truth & Beauty just felt right. My intention for this podcast is to share both what I’ve come to understand as Truth and the Beauty that this knowledge has revealed to me. The word Beauty, for me, represents a deep, consistent peace and a change in perception that has shifted my understanding of myself and pretty much everyone and everything else in my life and outside of it. 

The theme for this season is the “Unveiling of Truth” because within the last year, I have had many experiences that together have sort of filled in the pieces to the puzzle.... the puzzle or mystery that is our human existence. Questions like... Why are we here? Who are we really? What is death? What is the purpose of life? What came before? What’s next? What is the right path to follow? Why is there so much negative in the world, hate & vitriol? What does it all mean? Over the past year, I have been blessed to be led in a direction to begin to really understand the answers to these questions, and what I have learned has foundationally changed my life. Okay disclaimer... I do not assume or propose to know every last detail. One of things about exploring spirituality is that the answers tend to lead to more questions. And ultimately, I don’t believe everything would or could be revealed fully, as long as we are on the earthly plane. Beyond that, I’m sure that there are others who have had more experiences and could speak with more authority on these topics, in fact I know that there are. But even though others may know more or more deeply, I can’t keep silent. I realized that I need to share what I’ve learned because it is so incredibly relevant to every single human walking around and truly has the power to change lives, individually and collectively. 

I took a break from the podcast in 2024 because honestly, I wasn’t sure what else I had to say. To be even more transparent, I found myself having taken a detour from my original intention and for lack of a better phrase, focusing on a more commercial route. I’ve since come to understand where and why I got off track, and that it was all part of the journey. But that brings us to today. Today, I’m here to share, to educate and hopefully to inspire. If this message reaches 10 million or just 10, my intention and my purpose remain the same. 

For this re-introductory episode, I’d like to explain a little about my personal journey, because I do think it’s relevant to why I’m here and what I’m about. So the beginning: I grew up in a small, rural town in Upper Michigan. The actual upper Michigan, btw - the part that without Lake Superior would be touching Canada, affectionately known as the land of trees and lakes. My parents were kind and loving people who did everything they could to care for myself and my younger sister and brother. While we didn’t have much extra money, we definitely had everything we needed, and even some of the things we just really wanted. School was K-12, in one building, and my classmates (with very few exceptions) were with me on my first day of kindergarten and my last day of high school. My family attended Faith Baptist Church, a beautiful, tiny, stone edifice  - a historic jewel second only to the imposing Court House at the top of hill that was main street, the hub of our tiny town. My parents were pretty involved in the church, especially my father who became quite respected as teacher and deacon. In the Baptist way, even in the late 1980’s there were remnants of a puritan way of thinking -there were some older folks who believed that attending school dances (or dancing in general) was a sin. Gratefully, I come from a long line of girls who love to dance and neither my mom, nor my grandmother who was also very involved in the church, drank this particular Kool Aid. So, while we were regular church goers and believed in what Jesus taught per the Bible, we were still quite “mainstream” and I never felt that our faith limited me in any way. However, even as young teen, I had questions. Such as... if you needed to believe in Jesus in order to get to heaven, what about all those kids across the world in India or China or Africa who believed something else because that’s what they were taught? They were going to hell because they happened not to have Christian parents? Impressed by my questioning, still no one really had a good answer for me.

My parents ended up moving to Green Bay WI, just as I graduated from high school and the next few chapters of my life were really about growing up. Going to college, meeting my husband, starting a family, all without a lot of attention being paid to religion. Although I have to say my beliefs were always there, quietly running in the background I guess. My husband was raised Catholic and as a family we attended mass regularly, sporadically, or very sporadically, depending on the years involved. I was blessed to have two sons, who both attended a Catholic elementary school near our home. Despite growing up Baptist, I could easily see past the differences between Catholics and Protestants and recognized at the end of the day, it was really slightly different paths to the same God. Eventually though, I went through the conversion process, at the time thinking it would be good for our kids to have a uniform message if you will. The conversion process ended up being quite interesting and mostly positive. It helped me more deeply understand the true love and authenticity that many Catholics truly had, debunking any residual Protestant judgement. But nevertheless, while my beliefs didn’t change, the older I got, the less attending weekly church services seemed to be much of a priority, outside of the optics. 

Right before I had my first baby, I decided to go back to school to become a marriage & family therapist. I had taught high school for a few years in my early twenties, which definitely wasn’t for me and then spent a few years doing administrative work, trying to figure out my next move. Becoming a therapist was a wonderful decision. It allowed me to work for myself and enjoy the benefits of doing so while raising kids. But more importantly, my work as a therapist was and continues to be an aspect of my life that provides deep satisfaction, and for the last 20+ years, has given me a thorough education in the human condition.

So things were going along, and I was busy living life like people do. ... and then one day during a baseball tournament for my oldest son who was probably 8 or 9 at the time, I had a conversation with another mom, lunch at Portillos to be exact, that opened up a whole new world. While we didn’t know each other that well, we started talking about spirituality and she shared a book she had just read “ Wishes Fulfilled... Mastering the Art of Manifesting” by Wayne Dyer. The discussion that day over lunch and then reading that book, was really like a remembering, an AHA moment. From that day on, I started reading other spiritual authors such as Eckhart Tolle, Gary Zukav, Marianne Williamson, Carolyn Myss, Brian Weiss. I also started meditating for the first time ever. But to be honest, this new spiritual interest felt a little like a hobby. Just as religion had been previously, it remained quietly running in the background as I continued to work, raise my children and do all the things that people do. Until... Covid.

When Covid hit, I honestly was shocked by the world’s response. I remember my son who was a HS senior at the time came home and said he thought school was going to be cancelled and everything was going to be shut down. I consoled him, thinking him sweetly naïve, honestly believing that there was “no way.” Ahh, clearly, I was quite mistaken. The series of events that this virus put into action, threw me. It wasn’t fear of the illness itself, which while certainly devastating to many people, never offered evidence that it was something to worry about. Instead it was the avalanche of fear and control that stormed through our country (and much of the world) that freaked me out. I remember thinking OMG, this is a real life Chicken Little - “the sky is falling” and everyone has lost their minds.

As is usually the case, when something negative, or challenging appears in life, the need for answers and strategies to cope become a priority. In my case, my spiritual exploration re-emerged in a dramatic way. I started actively meditating again, reading and listening to podcasts about spirituality, manifestation and also astrology (something I’d thought was pretty silly in the past). Then several weeks into it all, I was sitting outside listening to an audio version of the works of Abraham Hicks. All of a sudden I saw and felt an incredible bright light surround me accompanied by an overwhelming feeling of love. This feeling of love was WAY beyond anything I’d ever experienced in any way. Love literally vibrated throughout the entirety of my being. I felt enveloped and physically lifted by the energy that encompassed me. The whole experience probably lasted for less than a minute. And then too quickly, I returned back to my regular self. While today I understand it as an awakening, at the time, I knew that what I had just experienced was special and important, but beyond that I didn’t really understand what it was or what it was supposed to mean. 

About a year and a half later in late 2021, I kept having the thought to read “A Course in Miracles” a book I had purchased back in 2012 (I only know this as the Amazon packing list was still in it) after seeing it discussed on Oprah. At the time, I had only read a few pages, finding it dense and hard to follow and had just put it aside. But after a few weeks of this persistent thought I searched for it and began to read. Unlike almost a decade before, where I found the material difficult to get through, this time the words jumped from the page. And what spoke to me at the time, was validation of how I already saw myself and the world and also sort of the essence of Christianity minus the judgment, sin and need for conformity. I can say that reading A Course in Miracles directly led me to start the Jenni Carroll Perspective just about two years later. But it wasn’t until last summer that I realized what I understood then, from that first reading, was really only the tip of the iceberg. It wasn’t that what I thought I understood was wrong, but only that there was WAY more to the message. 

So last July I heard a podcast interview with Gary Renard, author of The Disappearance of the Universe, which led me to read that book, and three others he wrote. His books are all about understanding the message of A Course in Miracles. Several chapters into The Disappearance of the Universe, my mind was blown, I remember just sitting there speechless as understanding and clarity flooded in... the best way to express the profound shift this book offered me, is to use the analogy of a jigsaw puzzle... for years I had been piecing together the “spiritual puzzle” of human existence and purpose, but doing so without really knowing what I was trying to find. Reading Gary’s book was like the puzzle box cover suddenly appearing out of nowhere - I instantly understood what I had been searching for and it finally all made sense. It was an absolutely amazing discovery. The mystery of life was no longer fully a mystery. 

Around the same time, again listening to the podcast - the Youest You with Julie Reisler - a huge favorite btw and I highly recommend if you aren’t already a follower, I came across another very different spiritual teacher, Gareth Duignam. His interview, and book “Waking Up from the Dream” described his own journey of self-realization, enlightenment, Unity Consciousness and ultimately Supreme Consciousness. These spiritual experiences prepared him to share his gifts as what is best described as a modern-day guru. While a little nervous, I decided to attend one of his week-long retreats last October, where I received several types of transmissions. Gareth is an awakened soul who is both genuine and extremely kind. Learning from him in this unique way offered me yet another angle from which to understand the Truth. It was a wonderful, amazing experience that created even more clarity. I have to say that what has been so interesting to me, through this series of realizations and experiences, is that while very different from each other, all point to the same Truth. If Truth were a building, each new piece of information I have received is another foundational pillar. In fact, I have yet to receive information that felt grounded in loving kindness, that in any way contradicts what  I’ve already come to understand. Instead, each new detail or piece of knowledge offers a slightly different perspective of the same view.

So while in some ways, my spiritual journey has been lifelong - this past year has brought by far the most dramatic realizations. Both my understanding and daily experience of life has shifted profoundly. I have noticed that the occasional anxiety I would experience is a thing of the past. I was even pushed to an extreme this past month as my son, working in Dubai, found himself in the middle of a war zone as the US and Israel began bombing Iran and the UAE became Iran’s number one target. Not too long ago, I would have been beside myself with worry, but while I didn’t like the situation and was certainly desiring him to get out of there, I also had a strange but persistent sense of peace. I knew that he would be okay, and the entire experience felt like a dream, and still does. 

The absence of intense anxiety in that recent situation is significant. But what is also significant are the little daily differences that seem to give evidence of a deep shift in perspective and experience. As we neared the end of January, a notoriously unfavorite month for many Illinois-ans, myself included, I noticed that I was enduring the winter without emotion. Typically, I have lots of negative thoughts and feelings about winter, the cold and especially the dark. Completing each winter month used to feel like a goal accomplished. But this year was different, I didn’t have those feelings or thoughts. Even walking our dog Ripken on days that were fiercely freezing, didn’t faze me. Right now we are on the cusp of April, and I’m looking forward to spring, for sure. But I have to say it’s with much less impatience than I’ve experienced most of my adult life. 

The way I see myself and other people is also different. I still have negative thoughts and feelings at times, but they are less often and definitely less intense. When I do feel something or think something negative I notice it very quickly. I’ll admit sometimes I get frustrated for having the thought or feeling in the first place, as I know that not only are they unnecessary, they are also only a reflection of my inner fear. I try to take a moment to forgive the thought, forgive myself and forgive whatever person or circumstance triggered it. I know that this process takes a while but eventually, I will get past all of it. If you’ve listened to any of my previous episodes, you know that I focus a lot on self-worth or what I term Intrinsic Worth. The innate worthiness of every single soul is part of the Truth. And as a human being, it constitutes a good deal of our work to see that important Truth. We are all holy and we are all innocent. And if that statement seems like a stretch, and doesn’t sit well with you, I encourage you to explore why and if you can, be open to the possibility that it may be true. But more of that important piece of Truth in another episode, as my time for today must be about done.

So dear listener, Truth and Beauty is a space designed to answer some questions and to offer a little bit of a roadmap to navigate life and what comes next. It is meant to make you think, make you question, and make you wonder. All I ask is that you come with an open mind (and no joke, you really need to commit to an open mind because the key to understanding the Truth is to let go of pretty much EVERYTHING you thought you knew). And one more thing, there must also be a willingness to connect to the best, most loving parts of ourselves. We all have a best self, or higher self, the part of us that is the kindest, most flexible, most patient and most loving. It’s there. I promise. So I would ask that you be willing to connect to this part of you a little bit. And as long as we’re focusing on the truth.... this message, this podcast is not going to be for everyone. And that’s very much okay. What motivated me to resume podcasting was an opportunity to be fully honest and not water down or avoid topics or truths that made people uncomfortable, or let’s be honest - made them think that I was crazy and had a basement full of canned goods and sandbags. Not that there’s anything wrong with that 😊 So to that end, I promise to be as honest and transparent as I possibly can. I commit to sharing the truth as I see it and have experienced it. No compromises.

Thank you so much for joining me today. I deeply and sincerely appreciate your presence here.

You are light. You are love. And you, my dear listener, are divine.