When Success Feels Like Suffering: The Alex Hormozi Wake Up Call That Is Not Just About Alex...It's About Us.

What if success feels impressive on paper but hollow in your body? We dig into Tony Robbins’ conversation with Alex Hormozi to explore why duty and achievement can’t replace joy, and how a few precise shifts - words, identity, and mission - can reignite a genuine sense of aliveness.

We start with language as leverage. Calling your work a "duty" creates push motivation, which drains willpower and flattens your days. Reframing work as "contribution" flips the emotional switch to pull motivation, where energy rises because you’re serving something bigger. We examine how even enormous accomplishments can lose their flavor when usefulness becomes the whole philosophy. The antidote isn’t more hustle...it’s connection. Tie your goals and your giving to a story that matters to you, and watch meaning return.

From there, we zoom in on identity. The strongest force in human behavior is the need to act like the person we believe we are. If your identity was cast ten years ago, it might be limiting the life you can live today. We walk through naming the different parts of yourself, selecting the right one for the moment, and upgrading your self-image without discarding what already works. Head versus heart becomes a practical tool: the head protects and plans; the heart creates joy and energy. Choose who leads.

You’ll hear actionable ideas: rewrite your daily vocabulary, design a moonshot that lights you up, connect generosity to causes you feel in your bones, and practice small rituals like sending five gratitude texts on Fridays. It’s a roadmap to move from numbing duty to meaningful contribution, from performance to presence, and from “useful” to fully alive.

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Transcript

Setting The Stage: Alex And Tony

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to We Playful Out with Barton Sonny Miller. Take it away, Sonny.

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Today we are going to dive into an interview that was recently done between Alex Hormozy and Tony Robbins.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

Yeah, I had some really good takeaways, I think you did too.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

About life and fulfillment and enjoyment and success.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Yeah. So if you don't know who Alex Hormozy is, he is a 36-year-old entrepreneur. By the time he's 32, he built a $100 million empire, scaled 4,500 gyms, and sold gym launch for $46 million. And he's continued to build from there.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

We had the opportunity to know Alex before Alex was Alex.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Yes, we did. It would have been awesome to watch him grow and do the things that he's done and have the privilege to spend some really cool and quality time with him. I was able to see him a year ago in Las Vegas and say hi to his him and his amazing wife. And uh Layla is absolutely amazing too. And we think the world of both of them.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

Yeah, they're they're both amazing. And you know, when we say he came from nothing, he really did come from nothing.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

Like it was astonishing his mindset and even in his twenties.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Yeah, no, it's true.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

So when he decided to sit down with this interview with Tony, he kind of set it up as I could have talked to Tony about business or things that are important to me and my life, and he chose to talk about the things that were important to his life.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

Yeah, so good. I think uh if you don't know who Tony Robbins is, I encourage you to go look him up and maybe it'll give you some context. But you know, Tony has literally coached, inspired millions and millions.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Probably billions.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

And uh, you know, he's coached presidents of the United States, he's uh athletes, you name at the top of their game. He's been their coach, which has been cool.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Yeah, yeah.

Duty Versus Enjoyment

SPEAKER_00 1:55

And you know, if you know Alex, you know how stoic he generally is. And you know, it was it was fascinating to watch him and feel like he was a little nervous there.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

It's like nice to see a human.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

Right. Well, unrightfully so. I mean, you know, it's it was just great. I thought it was awesome.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

Yeah, yeah. Um, so his first question to Tony was how do you see the dichotomy between duty and enjoyment? And I thought this was such a good takeaway because, first of all, why would somebody who is so successful be wondering about enjoyment?

SPEAKER_02 2:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

And we always seem to come to this gap between the I guess the science of achievement versus the art of fulfillment. You know, you hear stories time and time again, or you think of the um world famous celebrities, even who just seem to have everything. They're rich, they're famous, the public adores them, and then they end up ending their lives.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Yeah, Robin Williams.

SPEAKER_00 2:57

Yeah, and there's there's quite a few others, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

You know, so it's it's a I guess a serious thing to consider as we're I don't know, you work hard in your life, you try to find some success, you try to, I don't know, bring a certain lifestyle or I don't know what the word is to your family and to around you, but when you chase only that, you can feel very empty.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

Well, I think the thing that we have to stand back and look at, and the thing that's made me very aware of is what does our culture really preach to us from a very, very young age? And what does it teach us that make that we we come to think that is the ultimate outcome, which is go to school, get a prestigious job of some sort, or whatever it is, make a lot of money, and you can you will be happy. And they tie that into that is your happiness, and we buy off on the fact that that is our happiness because we see a lot of people that make a lot of money, they have toys, they have big houses, they and so therefore we assume rightfully so, because TV, everything else is I don't want to say there's no better term than brainwashes into that is happiness, and so you know it's kind of like not to use an analogy to be anything, but like there's certain, let's just say uh porn, for example, you know, what if you if that's all you thought that intimacy was, you're gonna mistake what it really is, if that makes sense. And yeah, maybe that's a bad analogy, but I hope not. But I hope it clarifies you for as a listener. But really, what I found is we have been so indoctrinated to achieve, and I mean, I would willing to bet today 90% of people's decisions on everything that they do comes back to some sort of financial thought that goes into it before they actually do it. And so, and maybe maybe that's high, but I'm

Words, Spells, And Motivation

SPEAKER_01 4:55

I'm really like would be interested to find a stat on this because we've been raised every I mean, I don't know a day in my life I wasn't taught, hey, you've got to be productive. And the outcome is to make money. It's not to, I mean, it in point to live life, but it takes the money to live life. And then once you've got the money, you'll be able to be happy and live life at a at a grander scale.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Yeah, exactly. And I like where you went with that because it's like a little backwards, like you're never little saying, What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be happy.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

You know, but we assume whatever we want to do is gonna bring us happiness.

SPEAKER_01 5:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

When it's not always the case.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

Yeah, and and a lot of times too, you know, I was even told, well, what would make you happy? You know, do your passion, right? And then you do your passion, and then it doesn't become a passion and you're not happy, you know, because it ties into what? Work. So we've based our worth and our value on work, long hours, this, that for the payoff, for retirement, for all these things.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Yeah. Well, Tony kind of uh pushed back on Alex right at the beginning and said, you know, words are tricky because they do produce emotion.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

So if you're showing up every day and you're saying, This is my duty or this is my obligation or my responsibility, that might be good if you are, for example, a soldier.

SPEAKER_02 6:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:15

Um, but words are are contagious.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

Yeah. So can I just uh not to interrupt you, but like let me just go back to the basics of let's just define spelling. What does it have in it? Spell. Ooh, interesting. So, what is the English language doing for us, good or bad? It is casting spells. So we are spelling in, we're casting spells all the time with our words. And sometimes I was never taught that as a young child.

SPEAKER_00 6:51

No, no, not at all. And again, kind of going back to the idea that words are contagious. So if I'm around somebody all the time that's using these words, it's like a yawn or it's like a laugh or it's like anything else. I'm gonna pick up on them, but there's always emotion attached to them. So Tony kind of dove into this concept of the idea of push versus pull motivation. And when you're using push motivation in your life, it's like I have to, I've got to, it takes willpower. That's where duty and obligation come in. But when you use pull motivation, that's when you um you want to serve something more than you want to serve yourself. It's kind of like this is what I made for it. It's like you can't even maybe sleep because you're so excited to go and do the thing that is pulling you. So Tony kind of reframed his work as opportunity to contribute, not duty. And then he gets excited about it because he feels like uh the greatest thing we can give our lives, I guess in the pursuit of is contribution. Um, and there's a dangerous belief of someday when I get to this number, then I'll feel good going back to the success and the happiness. But we find that the numbers are never enough. They always grow. They always grow, they always grow.

SPEAKER_02 8:09

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

Right. So I guess the psychology of the spells we cast, the way we hypnotize ourselves,

Push vs Pull: Reframing Work

SPEAKER_00 8:15

the psych, you know, really does affect our emotions and our experience of life.

SPEAKER_02 8:19

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

So um, what words do you use that drain your energy? Are you aware of any?

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Me? Well, I think a lot of times during the day I'll say I'm tired versus saying I'm excited to be energetic the way I am, but right now I'm running a little low on octane, you know? That's okay. Or I mean, maybe that's not even the best word. I don't know, but I I do notice myself doing that. And I do sometimes like, oh man, you know, like, and that's the sigh of whoof, that's been a lot.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

Yeah, I saw it a lot.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

And versus just being like, this is awesome, you know. And I think there's I mean, I know I could go through my vocabulary and I've been working on it a lot, and there's a lot more than that, but for sure, I'm most definitely guilty of this.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

Well, you know, and I haven't revisited this probably since I decided to change it. But even just like, what are you doing? I'm working. I'm working. I gotta go to work, gotta go to work, gotta go to work. I mean, is there not a better word for work that we can use?

SPEAKER_01 9:20

Right.

SPEAKER_00 9:21

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

Seriously.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

Like, how can we even just change the I'm I don't know, I'm serving. Yeah, I'm creating opportunity.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

I'm adding contribution to the world right now.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Yeah, yeah, because work just sounds like work. Work's not fun.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

Well, it can be if it's a contribution to the world.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

Um so again, kind of going back to the the I guess emotion that's attached to words, like you can kind of feel the difference if you say nutritious snacks versus delicious snacks. Yeah, just think of how words like land in your body differently. And and I think it's might be a fun challenge for you and I this week to just sit and go, ooh, what other word can we use here that would give us energy in a different way?

SPEAKER_01 10:05

Yeah, I agree. It'd be really fun. It's really awesome.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

Okay, kind of going back to Alex. So it was interesting, and man, I appreciated his vulnerability during this interview because I think he really exposed a lot of himself. Um, it was cool to see.

SPEAKER_01 10:25

Yeah, it's hard when you are vulnerable in front of people and exposure so and especially Tony Robbins. Yeah, well, and you know that that interview is gonna hit millions of people, obviously.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

So when he was about 20 years old, well, first of all, he sat and he basically told Tony that he has a problem with apathy. He's pretty emotionless in life, like nothing really excites him. Here's a guy that's building billion-dollar businesses by now. I don't know what his his net worth is today, but um he he said basically he works all the hours he's awake.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

And he has a struggle finding enjoyment outside of work. But yet at the same time, work doesn't really excite him either. He just does it because that's what he does and that's what he's good at. Yeah. And what else is it gonna do?

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Yeah, he's got an amazing brain.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So he said when he was 20 years old, he was obsessed with positive psychology and he had a trunk full of self-help books, he read everything, and finally he got to a point where he'd read all the books and he realized that his life hadn't changed and that his what he calls subjective well-being stayed the same. Yeah, he wasn't any happier.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Yeah. So you might ask yourself if you're listening to this, how much work have I put in? And yet I'm

Apathy, Usefulness, And The Cost

SPEAKER_01 11:40

still here. What is going on? And if you're raising your hand, this is a really good section for you to listen to.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Yeah. Um, I think apathy is a pretty common thing in life. Um I've heard the quotes before, but I heard another one again just yesterday about how I think it was Benjamin Franklin said that we all die when we're 23, but we're not buried till we're 70 or 80, you know?

SPEAKER_01 12:02

I think that's truthful in a lot of ways.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

It's this apathy of just showing up and putting our duty in and nothing more.

SPEAKER_01 12:08

Yeah, we're existing. Yeah. We're NPCs as we've talked about before.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

Yeah. So Alex decided he was gonna, he was, he was kind of fed up with this idea of happiness. He felt like it was elusive to him, and he was like, I'm done with it. Yep. So he replaced happiness with being useful, and he created a mantra. Um, can I say his mantra here?

SPEAKER_01 12:32

I'm sure you can.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

So his mantra became Alex's words, fuck happiness. I'm just going to be useful. And he built his entire life around that. He's like, Well, you know, even if I'm not happy, I can be useful to others. Right. Um and that kind of created a set point for fulfillment in his life. And that's where the apathy came in, that's where all the things came in, and he's not happy. And going back to spell casting and hypnotizing yourself with your words, if you tell yourself a lie long enough, big enough, loud enough, it will come true.

SPEAKER_01 13:07

Yeah. And that's exactly what Tony told you.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

You know, you've caused a spell in your life, basically, that has caused this to happen.

SPEAKER_00 13:13

Yeah. Um, he said that when he first started in the fitness space, it felt really good because he was helping people achieve their fitness goals. They were looking better, feeling better, getting off of medications, like everything was great. But after the hundredth or the thousandth testimonials coming in, he just like felt nothing.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

Oh. Um, and he's experiencing that same pattern today. He doesn't feel driven, just doesn't know what else to do. And he said, you know, I'm okay with it. But Tony called him out and said, No, you're not okay with it, you're torn by it, or you wouldn't be bringing it up.

SPEAKER_02 13:46

Yeah. You know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:48

So good. And he kind of said, Would you accept mediocrity in business compared to what you're capable of? Answer is no, right? So I guess a question for us and for people listening, how many of us have given up on certain aspects of our life because they felt unattainable?

unknown 14:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

Like, do we give up on happiness because it feels unattainable?

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Right. Yeah, inside of us, we say we've given up, but we really haven't given up.

SPEAKER_00 14:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

And we know that feelings buried alive never die, but we just don't know how to revisit them and how to bring them back out of ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 14:19

Yeah, for sure. Um, the danger of building your identity around being useful versus being fulfilled. You know, it's the danger of apathy.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

Um, so what you know, as far as what Tony told him, I think is really good reminder for me. Like, I really enjoyed listening to this interview for that specific reason. Um he talked about how astronauts, like he kind of went on this this little story about astronauts.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Yeah, and it was really good. And I mean, you know, he's just like, you know, you these astronauts work so hard to become chosen. And then all of a sudden they get chosen, and then they get, you know, they g they get on a piece of technology that our iHump phone has more technology than it probably had at the time. Yeah. Flies them off, gets them there, they get back, and then what in the world?

SPEAKER_00 15:17

They shake the president's hand, everything's grand.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Yeah, you've made the pinnacle of your life, right? Yeah. And then all of a sudden, what's next?

SPEAKER_00 15:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:25

What can you do? What can you do that's more prestigious than that? So what's left in life, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

And Tony had interviewed many of them and had discovered that they had become alcoholics or drug addicted. Right. And his analysis there was that um I believe he called it like a moonshot goal. It's like at that point, finding something outside of yourself that lights you up so much that you want to achieve that so badly. Yeah. And he talked about the fact, okay, I'll I'll reverse a little. So he started feeding families. When Tony was 11 years old, he didn't have enough food. Right. And without food, there was no Thanksgiving dinner. Some strangers showed up, brought their family dinner, and it it was a big point of his life, right? He realized that strangers cared and that he should care about strangers. And so he decided that he would start feeding families. And he started feeding them. And at one point, you know, he was kind of at this point where Alex is at, maybe a little where

Moonshot Goals And Feeling Alive

SPEAKER_00 16:30

he'd achieved all these things. He's like, What's next? Like, I'm not really feeling connected to anything. He called up his organization and he said, you know, how many families have have has my organization fed in my lifetime? And they said, 42 million. He's like, Oh, you know, that's really cool. But like, I don't have any association with this, so I'm not getting anything emotional from this. And so he decided that he would feed a billion families. And that goal, I'm not going to get into like the whole long story here, but it really lit him up and got him excited and got him energized. And his uh his, I guess, advice to Alex is to find this moonshot thing that lights your energy up. Because if you have energy, you're working from your heart, it's exciting. Your life is like, oh, I love this. He said that um there's like rich people and poor people, and it's not about money. Rich people are the ones that get to feel fully alive. So when you have these moonshot goals or you have these things happening in your life and you're energized and you're feeling fully alive, that is when you're rich.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

Right. So, yeah, so true. It's so good, you know. Like ultimately he he was able to create something bigger than himself, go be part of it, see it, bring it to fruition, which is just that is the wealth inside of you when you can see all that, you know. And you know, just like we've talked about, it's a legacy. It's what he leaves a legacy. And how many families are gonna look back and say, Man, that was incredible. Even though they didn't even know who was feeding them, yeah, he made a difference.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

Yeah. And that comes to um what does it mean to you, Bart, when you say get out of your head and into your heart?

SPEAKER_01 18:07

Well, I think the big thing to me in that is that my heart will guide me in the things that I need to do and what what I need to sit with somebody. My head will say, I don't have time for this. You know, like I I am so exhausted right now. How do I spend time doing something, you know, with my kids or with this or with that? But when I go to my heart, I will find the energy because my heart says, You will know when you're there and you will be so much gratitude and fun there that it'll happen. So you have to lean into your heart and be in your heart, and then all of a sudden, miracles can happen for you. But when you're ahead, you're just trying to overthink it or underthink it, or not just that you're in chaos all the time.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

Yeah, and you don't find the joy because your brain doesn't register joy, your heart does. Right. And our brain reduces things where our heart is a multiplier and expand things. So I won't get into that anymore. I just thought that it was a a very good takeaway as far as head versus heart. And Tony was taking away like analytical Alex is what he called the Alex that's in the head. And it's like um it's brilliant, it's necessary sometimes, it's all these things, but if you're too much in your head, you will not find joy and fulfillment in life. And that's when we come to the identity piece. Do you want to talk about that? Do you remember it?

SPEAKER_01 19:27

I don't remember all of it, so go ahead and get it started.

Head Or Heart: Finding Energy

SPEAKER_00 19:30

Yeah. Okay. So Tony mentioned that first of all, we like to think of ourselves as just a person. Society likes to say that we're just a person, but there's actually many different versions of us.

SPEAKER_02 19:45

Right.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

Right. And he kind of joked about how his wife changes personality so much that he names them now so that he knows which one he's talking to in the in the moment.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

Um you're talking to Tony Robbins.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 19:58

But there's actually so many different parts to ourselves that we can bring out, especially if we name them. Um and you can shift your energy, especially from your head to your heart, by calling forth that part of you and putting that part of you in charge of what it needs to be in charge of.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

Right, naming it.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

Um he said the strongest force in human, I guess, experience is to stay consistent with how we identify ourselves. So, like if you're a person who says, I always find the way to victory, you're always gonna find a way to victory. If you say, like, life just happens to me, I'm the effect of everything, and you're disempowered, and that's how you're gonna live your life. So, identity was like a really, really big part of this conversation. I thought it was a really important takeaway, and where you and I teach so much on it, and I thought it was a brilliant Oh, it was awesome.

SPEAKER_01 20:51

And how he explained it was absolutely right on, right on track.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

One of my favorite um parts was when he said, you know, he'll he'll have people come to his events and he'll ask them to do something, and they're like, Well, I can't do that, I'm not that kind of person. Right. He's like, Well, when did you decide that? Yeah, five years ago, ten years ago, twenty, thirty. It's like, would you use an iPhone or a phone from 10 years ago?

SPEAKER_02 21:14

Right.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

So why would you use the same old identity?

SPEAKER_01 21:18

Right.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

Is and the goal isn't to replace who you were, it's to expand who you were.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

Yeah, he said upgrade, right? You need to upgrade yourself to the new iPhone, right?

SPEAKER_00 21:27

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 21:27

And I thought that was a really good analogy of like how many times in life do we say I'm this, but it's like so outdated. Like, why do you have to be that? You know, it's like, why don't you just upgrade yourself and be that then? Take charge of it and have fun with it.

SPEAKER_00 21:39

Yeah, and he went on to say that 80% of a great, long lasting, intimate relationship is selection. It's not not the person you selected, but who you select to bring to the table in that relationship.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Yep. So good.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

Wow, that's that's a good mic drop moment.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

Yeah, for sure.

Identity Upgrades And Selection

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Um yeah, I think that's kind of what I wanted to cover. Was there more that you liked in that that you want to share?

SPEAKER_01 22:08

I think it just the big thing about it is is that when we we really want to grow and we want to um learn about ourselves, it it even in this, like I think what great thing that I saw in Alex was humility and the ability to listen and not try to over talk Tony and like prove that Tony was right or wrong. But he was just and I loved that. It was like, no, okay, that's a good point. And he and he really leaned into the coaching, and every time he was in his anabolic Alex or you know, whatever it might be, he played full out in it. Yeah. And I really appreciated the fact that even though he was live, he was there, he didn't hold back in allowing the coaching session to bless his life and respected Tony enough to lean into it and allow it to happen. I find a lot of times when I'm coaching, people want to teach me who they are so that I can coach them on who they are. And it's like, I already know that, but I'm trying to teach you this, but they want to over talk it, right? Because they they it's so hard for them just to listen and say, let's play, let's just role play here and find out if it's really true. And so I thought that was really, really good. That that was a big takeaway for me is how humble, how he played full out in the moment, and uh he did exactly what he said he was gonna do, and he went in there for himself. I think the other thing that was really interesting for me is how Tony was able to use stories to get his message across. And yes, Tony uses the same stories all the time. Yeah, but you know, every time I hear the story, it makes me go, oh, and I can see myself in the story. So I think being a good storyteller in that was really awesome to listen how he architects his stories to get the point across, not saying Alex was right or wrong, but to give you just a different perspective to consider if he wants to take it. And you'll hear Tony multiple times just say, you know, it's up to you. It's up to you. It's not like, no, you have to change this about you.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

I love that because he kept saying, I'm not gonna pretend like I'm here to coach you, but if you're interested in hearing this, then let me share it with you.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

Right. And I think that's a beautiful thing because a lot of times as a coach, too, we we do want to see the change, and somebody's hiring us for the change, right? So it's like, you gotta do this, instead of just like, it's really up to you. You if you want to do this, it's up to you, right? And understand that we don't have the power to change somebody else, they only have the power to change themselves. And so I thought it was really awesome for me, just as a coach, to step back and watch how Tony coached and how Alex received the coaching. And I think a lot of the reasons he was able to receive it, not saying he wouldn't have the other way, but was because of how it was presented. It wasn't forced upon him, it was just hi here's here's the situation, you know.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

And I thought that was there was one point where Tony even said, I can't do this for you. Yeah, this is up to you.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

And then I also like how he talked about the charity aspect of Alex give some money to a charity, and he had, he's like, I I didn't even care. I had no emotions, no nothing, but two million dollars poorer. And uh Tony really brought it up and said that's probably because you didn't have a connection. And then he shared the story of how he gave. Thank you. And I think

Coaching With Stories And Humility

SPEAKER_01 25:25

understanding that when we give sometimes, we do have a choice where we give, and if it's not something inside of us that has been impacted, it probably is gonna feel like just a transaction. And I did that a lot in when I was giving to a certain organization, I gave a lot of money to them, but it was more of a stress sometimes. It wasn't just a joy for me, even though I knew it was going to good, I had no idea where it went. I I had no control of where it went, and therefore I was doing it out of duty because I I I was called to, and not that I regret it, it's not what I'm trying to get here, but my point is had I been giving it to young rodeo cowboys or cowgirls, I guarantee you, in my side of me, I would have had a different way of giving that scene and stuff like that. So that that was really good for me to really tie that back like with Alex and and realize that. I also um really found it interesting to see how Layla come on and the different ways that the dynamic dynamics in couples work. And you know, kudos to Tony because he brought something up that really got me into identity, which was he said from stage, he said, if you don't have a stripper name, you're not having good sex. And that just hit me like a bolt of lightning. I was like, what? And then he really expanded upon if you don't have a new identity when you go into these things, which is what you brought up again. You know, it's like name this, go out there, be fun in this other part of you because it lives inside of you, and don't be afraid to explore it, just name it and explore it, and that'll unlock things that you've never allowed before. So those would kind of be the highlights for me throughout the podcast that I really enjoyed and had some good takeaways from reminders as we're coaching through our programs and the life coaching that I do of how to present stuff better.

SPEAKER_00 27:07

Yeah, I love that. Thank you for sharing all those.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

How about yourself?

SPEAKER_00 27:12

Well, I feel like I kind of already hit on the things that I felt were amazing. Um I think just going back to the idea of making sure that along the journey of this hustle and grind and carving success and all the things that we do, that we do stop and say, Where is my joy? Where is my fulfillment? and making it as much, if not more, of a priority. Yeah, you know, it's a big deal.

SPEAKER_01 27:41

Well, and that's why, you know, every Friday we do gratitude texts, and that's what it's really coming down to is having gratitude for life and for people. And the more I uh whenever I get down, the more I pour into others and have gratitude, it's a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_00 27:56

And you mentioned, you know, the rodeo cowboys and cowgirls, and that was kind of one of the

Giving With Connection, Not Duty

SPEAKER_00 28:00

things that was mentioned was like you can watch a story on on war and it will affect you, but not as much as if you watch a movie about somebody going through it and you feel what they're going through and you know what they're going through. Like that's kind of what unlocks that pull motivation in us as understanding. That's why sometimes, not sometimes all the time, if we're connected to the suffering that somebody else is going through, we'll be more likely to really want to help and we'll have that emotional association and it will be more fulfilling to us.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

Awesome. Well, thank you for uh making the time to go through this and break it down for our listeners. And once again, you guys out there, we're so grateful for you, each and every one of you. And it takes a lot of work to put a podcast on. So we appreciate that. We hope that you will uh give us a five-star review. We also hope that you'll pass this on to somebody else so they might find joy in this. And today, Sunny doesn't know this, but I actually had somebody at a meetup come up to me and pull up our podcast and said, I just want to thank you for your podcast. It's made a difference in my life, and I listen to it all the time, and I'm so glad I get to meet you in person. And I did not know this person, I'd never met him before in my life.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

Well, thank you for sharing that with me.

SPEAKER_01 29:13

Yeah, it was awesome. So if you're out there and you're listening to this podcast and you were at the meetup today, you know who you are. Thank you. It meant a lot to us, and uh, it filled my heart, feeling your gratitude for what we're doing. So thank you. Um, with that, you guys get out there, have the best day ever. And if you think about it, send five gratitude texts to somebody that makes a difference to you. And this segment brought to you by I Do Epic.