Symphony of Parenting: Secrets to Successful Co-Parenting and Single Parenthood Support

This episode emphasizes the significance of nurturing children's emotional stability during and after a divorce by providing effective co-parenting techniques. Listeners are guided through ten essential strategies to help children navigate their feelings and experiences during transitions between homes.

• Supporting children without guilt 
• Implementing a flexible and clear schedule 
• Providing duplicates of necessary items 
• Creating a welcoming environment at home 
• Maintaining consistent rules and expectations 
• Keeping children informed about upcoming events 
• Avoiding the role of emotional counselors for children 
• Fostering open communication between co-parents 
• Reassuring children of their worth and love 
• Encouraging parents to seek their own support 

If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash.

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Transcript

Co-Parenting During Divorce

Speaker 1 0:00

Is there a major life transition benching you ? I know you may be asking what's next ? What's my purpose ? What if ? Because I've asked those too . Welcome to the Start your Comeback Podcast . I'm Toni Thrash , a certified life coach , and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure . Hi , welcome back . You are listening to episode 73 .

Speaker 1 1:01

For the last couple of weeks , if you've been listening , I've been talking about parenting through divorce . I talked about being consistent with your kids and how important that is . That's episode 71 . Last week , in episode 72 , I discussed avoiding the trash talking about your ex in front of your kids . This week is such an important topic and I can't stress it enough . Please know how difficult this is to do , but it is so important , not just for you as a parent , but more importantly , for your children .

Speaker 1 1:39

We just don't realize that children transition every few days to a different home . The questions they ask are sincere , like I want to see dad , but it's not his turn to have them . What do you do ? Maybe they want to see their dog that they miss , or maybe they want to sleep in their own bed and they ask why they can't . This step has a very fine line and one that is important not to cross . First , let me acknowledge I know you , as a parent , have needs , concerns , fears and worries . I am not talking about putting yourself on a shelf to be dealt with later Quite the opposite . But it will sound like this this is not a do this or else statement , but one that includes the best and healthy choices for you and , most importantly , your children at this time . These next few steps will require a quiet determination and an all-in mindset . As a parent , you want the pain of the divorce and the feelings that they're having not to force its way into their heart permanently . As your children transition from home to home , it can be dicey understanding all the emotions and anxiety it causes as they do this . This is a normal occurrence when you share custody of your children . Please know you can add increased anxiety and stress , or you can instill a peaceful re entry .

Speaker 1 3:17

Here are my top 10 things to ensure the emotional stability of your children . To ensure the emotional stability of your children , the first one do not in any way make your child feel guilty about wanting to see their other parent . Don't say I wish you didn't have to go to their other parent . Regardless of how you feel , your children need to see their other parent Sometimes , even if it's inconvenient . Number two make sure that you have a schedule that works for both you and the other parent and , if you can be flexible , that helps your children even more . They do not need to feel like they are a burden . They do not need to be put in the middle .

Speaker 1 4:07

Number three do everything in your power to make sure they have two of everything . Yes , you heard that right Two of everything , one at each parent's house School supplies , clothes , toothbrushes , favorite toys , blankets , etc . This will ensure , or at least ensure there will be fewer trips back and forth because they forgot something . Number four if they are old enough for school , then make sure they have a designated spot to do homework with the fewest distractions . This is imperative . When your children return to you , don't pummel them with a thousand questions . Give them some space . Have their favorite snack or meal ready or , if they're a teenager , just give them some alone time to process . Make your home welcoming and peaceful so when they walk in the door they feel at home . I promise after a couple of hours they will break down everything that happened over the weekend and tell you everything .

Speaker 1 5:18

Number six be consistent in your rules . I'm sure I said this in episode 71 , but the rules may be different at the other parent's home , but you need to maintain your schedule . But you need to maintain your schedule . It's so hard to do , but in the long run your children will be adjusted to these rules . It can be confusing at times and they may struggle , but just remember , maintain your consistency . It is okay to do things different than is happening at the other parent's house . Your rules , your consistency , are your rules and consistency .

Speaker 1 5:59

Number seven keep a calendar with all their activities listed on it so they can see what is ahead . Put it where they're going to see it every day . Maybe it's on the refrigerator door at eye level . Maybe it's a calendar on their bathroom door or their bathroom mirror or wherever they're going to see it on the daily basis . While they are in your home , make sure you share this calendar with your co-parent so everyone has the opportunity to be on the same page . Then there is minimal miscommunication . This way your children at least have a visual of what's happening and when .

Speaker 1 6:45

Number eight do not let your children be your counselor , because often children will be worried about a parent and then take on the role of trying to fix whatever needs fixing . That is not their job . It is your job to make sure you are healthy and getting whatever therapy you need . Please , above all else , let your children be children . Number nine it is best to keep open lines of communication with your co-parent . It may prove to be difficult depending on your circumstances , but it is so important that you don't hide information from them . Better to disagree than to feel lied to .

Speaker 1 7:34

Number 10 , please assure your children . It's not their fault . Remember they are children and did not ask to live in separate homes . Remember to remind them they are loved by both of you . It's so important that you carry the burden of the divorce so your children don't have to add that to their shoulders . Maintaining open communication , setting consistent routines and putting your differences aside in front of the children can ensure their emotional well-being .

Single Parenting Support and Encouragement

Speaker 1 8:07

Now , this doesn't mean that they don't need to go to therapy . They may need therapy too . Whatever the case may be , I just need you to hear this You're doing a great job as a single parent , doing your best to try to keep the lines of communication open and work toward the emotional stability of your children . Please hear me say great job , keep doing it . Well , that's it for this week . Join me next week as I continue the symphony of parenting as I discuss what in the world do we do with a Disneyland parent ? I promise you won't want to miss this . I'll see you next time . Hey , thanks for listening . I don't take it for granted that you're here . You didn't listen by mistake . If you want to reach out , you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash Until next week . Remember , there's still time left on the clock . Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback . I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music . You can find them on Instagram at Country Club .