Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse
I'm Toni and a certified Life Coach. Is there a major life transition benching you? Let’s create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
Your life only seems to be over, however, there’s still time on the clock.
Let’s get you off the bench to start your comeback.
Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse
Your comeback begins when you realize you're finally standing in the shallow end
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Have you ever noticed how, after surviving a major life upheaval, you suddenly find yourself standing on solid ground—yet still bracing for waves that aren't coming? That disorienting moment marks the beginning of an unexpected freedom journey.
Freedom after transition arrives quietly. After treading water through divorce, empty nesting, retirement, or career changes, many discover they've drifted to life's shallow end. Their feet touch bottom, but the survival instinct remains on high alert. This newfound liberty—unasked for and often unrecognized—can either paralyze us with fear or propel us forward with purpose.
Throughout this episode, we explore how true freedom requires acknowledging both sides of every transition: the practical logistics (legal documents, finances, living arrangements) and the emotional landscape (grief, doubt, discovery). Skip either, and healing stalls. This is why personalized support through coaching becomes invaluable—creating a custom game plan that honors your unique circumstances and personality.
The freedom found after major life changes rarely resembles fireworks and celebrations. Instead, it might look like enjoying a quiet Friday evening without guilt or waking up without dreading the day ahead. But beware—freedom without direction can become a disaster. The sweet spot exists when you maintain boundaries while finding peace, manage time while protecting energy, and embrace accountability while preserving autonomy.
As we approach Independence Day, I invite you to recognize the freedom tucked inside your transitions. You get to decide how you show up now. Your future doesn't belong to your ex, your old boss, or even your grown children—it belongs to you. Whether you're just starting to feel solid ground or you're well into your comeback journey, remember: you've already begun. DM me on Instagram @ToniThrash to share where you are in your freedom journey.
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Sound of You
Is there a major life transition benching you? I know you may be asking what's next? What's my purpose? What if? Because I've asked those too. Welcome to the Start your Comeback podcast. I'm Toni Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure. Hi, welcome back. You're listening to episode 91.
Speaker 1:Today is July 3rd. Tomorrow we are celebrating our Independence Day. What are your plans for tomorrow? Are you grilling burgers? Are you going to see fireworks jumping in the pool, or maybe you're just enjoying a quiet day off? I'll be with my family. I'm sure we'll be laughing and enjoying one another's company and watching my grandson enjoy all the chaos and the fireworks and all the red, white and blue vibes.
Speaker 1:But more than that, tomorrow's an opportunity to pause and reflect on the freedoms we enjoy as Americans, and I want to just take a second to say thank you to every person who has served our country. I have two uncles One was actually stationed in Vietnam and one was stationed in Alaska during the same war. I just want to say thank you because we live free because of the sacrifice you gave in fighting for our country. We celebrate because others like you have sacrificed for our freedom. We celebrate because others like you have sacrificed for our freedom. Now, since we're celebrating our national freedom, I want to have a little heart-to-heart about another kind of freedom, maybe one that sneaks up on you and one that maybe you don't always see coming. It's interesting because I've been writing my book and, yes, it's with the editor as we speak and can I say there's a smidge of freedom involved in knowing that it's finished Well, sort of. There'll be more information about that coming in future episodes, but I want to talk about that newfound freedom, the freedom we didn't have a name for and certainly was the least expected. You know the kind that shows up on the other side of a hard transition like divorce or becoming an empty nester, even retirement, the job loss or a career change. Now hear me when I say this You've been treading water for a very long time, and how do I know this?
Speaker 1:Because I know I did. You've been surviving in the deep end and you didn't even realize. You drifted over to the shallow end, your feet hit the ground and now you're standing again, but you're so used to struggling that it doesn't even register. You're still bracing for waves that aren't coming. You see, this is the very beginning of your freedom. Because it's unfamiliar, it's terrifying. Okay, so now you may fall into one of these two camps One you're frozen in fear. You feel the freedom, but it paralyzes you. You don't even know what's next or how to handle it. Or the second one you pause, you breathe and then you start mapping out your next steps.
Speaker 1:The truth is this Freedom is a fight, always has been, it will always be. But the best fights leave us stronger on the other side. They strip away the fake stuff, they reveal what matters and they invite us into a future we didn't even think was possible. One of the greatest freedoms you now have is this you get to decide how you show up. Let me be honest Sometimes we don't show up at all, and that's okay for a season. Shock can cloud your judgment and prevent you from seeing clearly. Limbo will confuse your steps. But there's a moment sometimes quiet, sometimes loud, sometimes quiet, sometimes loud when you realize this is mine to decide.
Speaker 1:Your future doesn't belong to your ex. Your peace doesn't belong to your old boss. No-transcript. Your identity is not wrapped up in your kids and all their activities. It now belongs to you and when you start building your comeback game plan, that's when the freedom gets real. That's when you ask what do I want a year from now, five years from now, maybe even 15 years from now? This is where your power lies.
Speaker 1:You see, every transition has two sides. There's the business side, the legal documents, the financials, the job hunts, the applications, maybe new living arrangements. And then there's the emotional side. You're dealing with the loss, the doubt, the grief, anxiety and the discovery of new things. But you can't ignore one side and expect to heal. This is where therapy and life coaching become game changers. You need someone who sees the full court, not just the scoreboard. You don't need a cookie cutter solution. You need a custom game plan built for your life, your goals and your personality. I've coached dozens through transitions and not one game plan has been the same. The divorce or the job change those technically, are the same, but they're different. Each step is different. You have different circumstances.
Speaker 1:Freedom isn't always fireworks and national anthems. Sometimes it looks like a quiet Friday night at home and being okay with that, maybe playing mahjong in the middle of the week with a group of friends. Maybe it's not having to fake joy at a job that made you miserable. Maybe you're retired and you woke up with a full day ahead of you and you can now dream again for what is next. But let me drop a caution here Don't abuse this freedom. It's called laziness. Freedom without direction leads to disaster.
Speaker 1:When I first found myself in a new season, I remember saying out loud I can do whatever I want whenever I want. And while that was true, I also realized because I'm a six on the Enneagram have I said that before I craved security and structure. So my freedom looked less like chaos and more like calm and safe. But that's okay, that's who I am. And freedom is knowing that, owning it and then living it without apology. Even now, 11 years later, I remind myself hey, tony, you get to choose. Later I remind myself hey, tony, you get to choose. This is your freedom. But I'm also practical. I know there will be schedules and work demands and calendars full of adulting.
Speaker 1:Freedom doesn't erase responsibility. It reframes it. You can still have boundaries and peace. You can still manage your time and protect your energy. You can still have boundaries and peace. You can still manage your time and protect your energy. You can still have accountability and autonomy. It's not either or it's both. And that's the sweet spot, just like a tennis player hitting the ball right in the middle of the racket the sweet spot is glorious. So let me ask you this today, on this eve of the 4th of July Do you recognize the freedom that you have, or are you still seeing the struggle? There's an element of freedom tucked inside every single transition. You just need help uncovering it and living in it.
Speaker 1:Enjoy your Independence Day tomorrow. Maybe start early, like my grandmother used to do. Her birthday was July 3rd and she would hang her American flag out on that day and celebrate all day, the July 3rd and then July 4th. So maybe you should hang your flag out today, celebrate the freedoms you've been given and the ones you're starting to create for yourself. You've got this. I'm proud of you and your comeback. You've already started. I'll see you next time. Hey, thanks for listening. I don't take it for granted that you're here. You didn't listen by mistake. If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash Until next week. Remember, there's still time left on the clock. Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback. I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music. You can find them on Instagram at Country Club.
