The Geriatric Mom Podcast with Dr. Nefertiti B. Poyner

Conquering the Holiday Break: Simple Strategies for Memorable Family Time!

• Nefertiti Poyner • Season 1 • Episode 6

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Prepare to conquer the holiday break with simple strategies to ensure a smooth and enjoyable time off.  We'll chat about the importance of rest, sticking to a schedule, and being mindful of our diets during this festive season. Let's focus more on presence and less on presents and create magical memories with our babies ones that will last a lifetime.  So join us in embracing and making the most out of this special time of year!

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Speaker 1:

1951. 1951. That's when the song it's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas was written, and I can't read all the lyrics that are in this song, but there is one sentence that I think we're going to talk about today, and mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again. It's beginning to look a lot like Alright, come on, let's do today's podcast. Five, four, three, two, one.

Speaker 1:

Hey, welcome back to the Geriatric Mom podcast. I am your host, dr Nefertiti Pointer. I'm so glad that you're here. This is our space. I know the podcast title is called Geriatric Mom and you have to make sure the people know that this isn't no podcast for old people, although I might be old, but tell them, tell the people, that the term geriatric comes from the term given to those of us who have babies over the age of 35. That's what the medical field calls geriatric. Tell them that your girl's not old. I may look a little old today, I'm tired, but I'm here. I am here and we're not going to sing Christmas songs, but we are going to talk about holiday break because, if all goes well, this podcast is dropping on the last day of school for us before we go on holiday break. Lord help us all. And so what are we going to do today? We're going to talk about just a few things to think about over the holiday break, and I've been talking to a few of my teacher friends and I'm going to pull on my career as a teacher and I'm going to tell you what we want from you, parents. Over the spring break, I'm going to have one of my mom, I'm going to have my mommy had on and I'm going to have my teacher had on, and I've been talking to my teacher friends and here is what we want parents to know, particularly my mamas. Here is what we want you to think about as we think about holiday break. So can I go back to that song? It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Speaker 1:

So back in 1951, mom and Dad still couldn't wait for school to start again. I thought that was funny. Listen, yes, it is going to be a long break for some of us, a short break for some of us, but I want to emphasize the word break Now. For many of you, you will have a few days off before January 2024. For some of you, your babies go to school all year round. Some of you may be listening to me as a homeschool mom, so I know things will vary If you're listening to me as a person who has a full-time job. Your children may be on break, but you're not on break. I get it. I get it. Today. I just want to talk to those of us who will have our babies home from school, and here's what the teachers want us to know and what we can do over break to keep everybody sane. Okay, to keep everybody sane Now again.

Speaker 1:

Back in 1951, the songwriters wrote we could not wait for school to start again. Well, let's talk about it all, right. First thing I want you to think about as we go over the holiday, or our holiday winter break, is to first of all breathe. Can you do that for me? Can you just breathe? You have been moving and shaking and picking up and making doctor's appointment and picking children up early, and the little one has gotten suspended again. It's a lot going on. All of us are going to take a break. We are going to breathe. Maybe that first night out we're going to get a pizza and we're going to watch something on TV. We're just going to breathe. Give yourself permission to just let this first day be All right. That's the first thing. And the next day, which might be a Saturday for most of us, I want everybody to sleep late. I want everybody to sleep late. I want you to stay up all night long on that Friday night, if it's Friday night, and then I want you to sleep all day. On Saturday, nefertiti, you want us to sleep all day. I do. I want you to give yourself permission to just go with the flow. Listen to me. The reason why I'm advocating for this is because, if you're doing this thing right, your school days are structured. And I say if you're doing it right because, again, I'm hoping you're listening to all of the podcast messages.

Speaker 1:

Our children need structure. So during the week, you have a solid structure of what happens. So, for these first two days of our winter break, I want you to give yourself permission to let your hair down. I want you to give yourself permission. You have been busting your you know what. All of you have been working so very hard, and so now, on this first few days of our break, I want you just to give yourself permission to just be All right. So, after the weekend goes and we're going into the new week, what do we want to do Well, because you've given yourself permission to kind of just hang out. After you've done that, I'm asking you to stick close to a routine. Now listen, for the weeks that we're out of school we might have a new routine. Let everybody in the family know what the routine is. Again, I can't say this enough Routines express love.

Speaker 1:

When you have a structure and routines in place for your children, it lets them know you care. It lets them know that they matter. Let me give you a quick analogy. Have you ever gone into a store where everything feels like all over the place Right, the shoe box that says it's a size nine is really a seven. Nobody. If you go over to this department for some service, everybody says it's not my department. You ever feel that in an environment. Well, when you don't have structure and routines, as a parent, that's what it feels like for your children. Now, when you're in that store, you can leave. I hope this quick analogy of a store and how we run our homes makes sense. We need routines and we need structure. We need structure because they convey the message that you matter, because have you ever gone into a store where things are set up well, you can find what you need. It's got good customer service, good lighting. Yeah, you spend some money in that store and the message is you matter, you're welcomed here. I want you to think about that for how we're raising our children. Our babies need routines, and that's all the way up to our teenagers.

Speaker 1:

So this week, or the few weeks that we're all for when to break, what's the schedule like? What is the schedule like? Do I have permission to sleep late? Make that clear. Am I able to eat things out of the pantry, out of the snack box, out of the refrigerator? Make that clear. Now, first of all, you already know you should have added a few dollars to the grocery list for these days that these babies are going to be home.

Speaker 1:

I know, I know what you're going to say. Their school stomach is not going to be the school stomach. As soon as the last day of school happens, the school stomach is no longer in service. It now becomes the I'm a home stomach and I want to want to eat everything that is in sight. So what do you do? If you can, you want to add a little room to the grocery list to make room for babies who are going to be home all day Now, because they're going to be home all day does not mean they can eat you out of house and home. I didn't say that. I said add a little wiggle room for snacks and some meals, because they're going to be home all day.

Speaker 1:

But now it's time to set an expectation for what can happen, what I can eat, what I cannot eat, and when I can eat it. And again, you may say enough for Titi. Does it really take all of this? I dare you to try it and come back to the comments, either on YouTube or if you're listening to me and an audio outlet. I want you to try it for just these two weeks, all right, or however many weeks you and your family are home. Set a schedule, gather everybody together, let them know what time we're going to get up and what time they're going to go to bed, and set parameters around healthy eating and see what happens. Let me know. So what else do our teacher friends want us to know? All right, our teacher friends want everybody to get some rest, everybody to get some rest.

Speaker 1:

Now, listen, if you are a mama who cannot be off during the week, I get it. You're going to have to continue with your routine to the best of your ability, but set an expectation for what you want for the children. If you have your teenagers staying home during the day, and maybe they're watching their younger brothers or sisters what is the expectation? I cannot say this enough, mom If you set the expectation, you can always come back to it and say thank you, babies, for following mom's expectation. I really appreciate that. And if the expectation is broken, you can come back and say all right, come on, let's talk about it. The expectation that mommy said this week was not carried out. Let's talk about what we can do better. Again, they're probably going to eat you out of house and home during the week, but I want you to be okay with that because, again, if there anything like Madison I don't even think Madison eats during the day, because she complains about the breakfast, the lunch, the dinner, and I ask her does she want to take a lunchbox?

Speaker 1:

But she was like no, maybe taking a lunchbox is not the thing to do, I don't know, but when she comes home she is always hungry. So remember, food is love and be careful of what you have around. Make sure we've got some fruits and some vegetables and lots of water and be careful of all the sugary snacks and then set expectations for what we're eating. All right, if Santa Claus left some extra cookies. That don't mean we have to eat all of them. All right, maybe we'll have a few cookies a day, one or two a day.

Speaker 1:

Check the expectation and watch your child show up for you, for the family. The next thing I want you to be really careful about during the holiday break and you know I'm so serious about this and I wish I, I hope my seriousness gets conveyed again, whether you're watching me on YouTube or if you're listening to me in an audio version Don't let the break lack supervision. Okay, and this is also a time of of where you might be having other people coming over to visit, or you might be going over to visit other people. Set the expectation for what you want from other adults. For example come here, give me a kiss, give me a hug, come sit on my lap. Uh-uh, uh-uh. No-transcript.

Speaker 1:

Maybe in your family we don't do all of that and you can say to your children it's okay with somebody says give me a kiss, for you to extend your hand and say it's nice to see you again Now, again. I do not want to be misunderstood. If you are raising your children in a culture where hugging and kissing and they know all the people, that's what you do. That's fine what I am saying for this particular podcast, because sometimes during this time of year, we're around lots of different people, we're doing lots of different things and other people may not raise their children the way you raise your children. So be clear, set your expectations with the other grownups. Can you drop a comment down in the YouTube box? Let me know you heard me and again, if you're listening over in an audio land, just send me some positive vibes and say yes, nefertiti here is, here is, and I'm so serious about this.

Speaker 1:

There was a video that went viral maybe the same week that I'm taping this, where a little girl was going to sit on Santa's lap and a little girl was like that's a no, I'm not sitting on your lap. And Santa did a great job of saying to this little girl you are one, you are right, and I love it that you're setting good boundaries, and I can't remember everything that Santa said, but that's what I'm talking about. This is a time of year where your child may be in the company of other people that they don't know as well. Set the expectation with your child and with the other adults. I hope I've made myself clear with that one. I hope we're clear.

Speaker 1:

All right, let's talk about gift giving and all the gifts and all the stuff that might be present. All right, I want you to remember that the presents, the present, your present, your presence, is more important than any present that will go under the tree, that will that you'll celebrate over Kwanzaa, over Hanukkah or whatever a particular holiday you may celebrate where there is some exchange of gifts. Come here, mom. I know your finances may not allow you right now to do what you want to do. I know that, and I want to look you right in the eye and tell you your presence is enough. The world makes all of these holidays about gifts and things. You got to go by before a certain hour and a three-week-end sale. I get it. You have the potential, however, to make sure you create routines and structure and love, and you can do that, and I'm telling you, those memories will last your babies far longer than any electronic game, anything they could put on their back, around their neck, on their feet and I know, I know how you're looking at me, I know, and I'm going to tell you, I was raised in a house where we wanted all the things too.

Speaker 1:

My brother always wanted the fancy shoes, the, the, the, the fanciest video games. I, you know, I had my wants too. But can I tell you something? Can I be totally honest with you? There were days in my home where, if Christmas did not fall on Mom's paycheck weekend, we celebrated it the next weekend. Ask my Mama.

Speaker 1:

And so what did we do on Christmas day? Well, maybe Mom did get us a little, a little tree. She was going to get that tree. She wasn't going to do nothing else. She was going to get that tree, and she knows I love music, so maybe she brought me a record. Yeah, that's how old I am. I got a record and maybe she was able to get one thing that my brother wanted just for that day. But you know what else my mom would do? She would make sure we were warm and we had something to watch on TV. She's going to make a little something special for our bellies and we were going to laugh and we were going to be together.

Speaker 1:

And I'm telling you, I know what the world is doing, but that does not have to be what happens in your house. You can change the narrative for how all of our holidays are celebrated and remember, it's not about presents as much as it is about presents, I know. I just want you to not be so hard on yourself, all right, don't be so hard on yourself, all right. So more about the idle time that the babies will have. Our teacher friends want us to know that a little TV is okay, a little video game, the little video gameplay, all of that's okay. But again, what's your expectation? If it's, or during the weekday, while mom is at work, what do you want to see happen? And when the TV and the video games are not on, what am I doing instead? Do I have a book that you want me to read? I think that would be wonderful.

Speaker 1:

Let's not be afraid of getting some things in there, not because they feel academic, but they're just good to do. And so our teacher friends want us to relax. Our teacher friends want us to. You know, take, let our hair down. Our teacher friends don't want our babies eating a whole bunch of stuff. It's not even. It's not good for the physical body, the mental body, it is just not good for them, so be careful of what we're allowing them to eat.

Speaker 1:

But our teacher friends also want us to remember that the best gift we can give each other during the holiday break is being together, being together, and so if you want to bundle up your coat, let's all go to the playground. I know, let's just go to the playground, let's do it. Let's go for a walk, let's do it. Let's get on the bus and go downtown and go. Just look at the lights downtown. Those are the things you can do that I'm telling you. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but they will last forever.

Speaker 1:

I want you to remember this Every day. As a mom we are, every day we have with our babies, we are creating a memory for them. We're creating a memory. They are going to tell a story to their children, maybe their grandchildren, their mate. We're creating memories, and so I want you just to think quietly about what can I do to make this memory amazing? All right, our teacher friends also want us to go to websites like Groupon and Half Off Deals and Facebook Deals and Instagram Wherever you can find a deal. That's where our teacher friends want us to go, and our teacher friends want us to go out and do things together. So maybe if mom has to work when students act at all we're all going to go watch a movie together, or we're all going to go skating, or we're all going bowling, or we're all going to make dinner together.

Speaker 1:

Our teacher friends, me included, want you to do some things together over this holiday season. You know there are some wonderful things that can happen around. A game of cards, right, just a simple deck of cards. Get a good game going. Get out some dominoes or whatever. Whatever you play as part of your family's culture tradition. Play some old-fashioned games. But our teacher friends want us, during this holiday season, to do some things together.

Speaker 1:

All right, and that brings me to the final thing that our teacher friends want us to do over this holiday season is enjoy the moment. Guess what? This is the last time your child will be this age over this holiday season. You will never get this moment back, and so whatever you can do to be present and stay close and love upon each other, that's what our teacher friends would want us to do. Enjoy the moment. All right, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again? Yes, All right.

Speaker 1:

So what are we going to do over the holiday season? We're going to prioritize rest. Everybody's going to let their hair down and chill out and we're going to just be okay. We're going to. We're going to prioritize rest. We're going to stick to a schedule, even if the schedule has been adapted for our days off. What's the schedule? We need a schedule. It can be a loose one, but we still need a schedule, because, guess what? This break going to go by real, real, real quick, and it's going to be time to get back into the swing of things. And so keep the babies on some type of schedule, even if it is one that a modified schedule, all right.

Speaker 1:

Be careful of what we're eating. Just because it's there doesn't mean we have to eat it. All right, their school stomachs are not their school stomachs. As soon as the break happened, their home stomach, home stomach got turned back on, and so let's be careful of what we're eating and how much we're eating. Again, we want to be careful of that. We also said, during this particular time of year, we want to be careful about not letting up on supervision Our young people.

Speaker 1:

Where are you? Where you're going, who's the phone, who you like? All of it, I want to know all of it. All right, let's pay attention to supervision. And then for our younger children, they don't know everybody, and I'm not sitting on everybody lap, I ain't kissing everybody. It is okay to extend the hand and say it's nice to meet you, it's nice to meet you. You got it Okay, all right, All right. And then remember, remember your presence is more important than presence. Stop being so hard on yourself. Remember you're making memories and just the laughter and joy that you share is as important as anything you could put under the tree. And then, finally, don't forget to enjoy the moment. You'll never get this age at this time of year again, so do whatever you can to enjoy the moment. All right, mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again. Spoken into the good life like Christmas, I'll see you next time.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for joining me today. Let me know what you're thinking about doing to make this holiday special. How are you going to keep saying? How are you going to work on the schedule? Go ahead and drop me a comment, let me know on YouTube and or send me a message at contact at. She knows what she's doingcom, and if you heard me think today that you think is worth sharing, would you please share? Will you please follow? Will you please like? Will you please subscribe? You know, do all the things and, most importantly, happy holidays. Let's do it together. I'll talk to you soon.