Sovereignty and thinking of Yourself as a Sovereign Entity

In this episode I want you to know that you are only responsible for yourself and nobody has the right to challenge or question your "You-ness."  No one can take us away from ourselves and we have ultimate power of how we feel.  If we practice being the loving, kind, excepting self, that we are meant to feel, then we can accomplish anything.

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Transcript

 I wanna talk about sovereignty today. I want you to think of yourselves as a sovereign entity. Um, meaning that you are totally in charge of you and you are really the only one that you are responsible for. And of course, unless you're a parent, you're responsible in that way, but internally, you are responsible for you. 

And. Specifically that nothing and nobody can or has the right to invade how you feel and alter your feelings or to challenge or question your youness. Um, our, we get, we just get so easily caught up in what the world is doing and then it affects us or what other people are doing, and then it, how it affects us. 

But what we want to really remember is that. We are responsible for managing what's inside of us no matter what affects it, and that nobody ever, anywhere, not even the entire way that the world is, can take us away from ourselves. Yes, we live in a, a planet where we don't have. Ultimate power over how things are, but we always do have ultimate power over how we manage how we feel inside. 

And people don't often think about that, but even when circumstances go awry, not the way we wanted, then we still only have to deal with the feelings that live inside of us. We can always handle them when we practice being the loving, kind, accepting self that can hold those feelings. So I often talk about that feelings are taking us to our best life. 

The only problem is we reject them. And I'm talking about all of our feelings, the, the really difficult ones and the ecstatic beautiful ones. We are meant to feel all of them because all of them do something for us. Even when we have to grieve, we're grieving because we are losing something that we thought we had or that we had that we miss. 

And the grieving changes us to help us be able to face that existential question of how can life be like this? It's making us look at what is the po, what is the point and the meaning of life? It's making us question our existential. Beingness, which we as human beings are here to do. So when we have to feel the worst feelings that we can feel being a human being, even that is giving us something, it's helping us align with the truth of what our reality is and how it actually works. 

Yes, circumstances affect us and make us feel things. But if we become the manager and the loving holder of those feelings and learn to handle all of them, we find out something beautiful, we find out that we are powerful, that we can handle that, and that life is doing that with us. For us, if we decide not to feel those feelings, we'll never know that. 

That life's doing that with us. So I often use this analogy that every feeling we can ever feel as a human being is on the spectrum of all the different colors that you can ever imagine. The worst on this side, maybe imagining them gray, black, oozy, green, icky, terrible, and over here sparkly gold or pink or whatever. 

The feelings more towards ecstasy and bliss and awe and wonder. We're supposed to feel all of them and find out that they change us. Now the dark ones change us by helping us wrestle with reality, and they let reality teach us that we're not completely in charge, but we are cared for. How does that happen? 

Well, when we have to go deep, deep into grief and loss, we find something there. We find that we can handle it. We find that life is with us there in some way that we did not know, and it changes us into something better than we were before. So when I'm talking about sovereignty. I'm meaning that you have the power to handle any feeling that life's going to give you. 

And when you think of it that way, then you are not a victim to circumstance. You are not a victim to what other people do because they have to manage who they are, and you only are in charge of managing how you are. And you get to choose when we start. Um, thinking that way and living that way. We realize that all of the people, if they, the ones that treat us poorly, they have to be them. 

They have to reconcile their own. Issues that live inside of them that make them that way. But we do not have to get caught up in that. We are responsible for creating peace in here by managing the feelings that they're provoking, but it's not about them. They have to be them, and we get to be us. And if someone harms you, you get to say to yourself, I will be a person who does not harm in that way. 

That is a sovereign, sovereign entity. Compare that with one who's not sovereign, who gets hurt and hurts back. That person is no better than the one that hurt them. They're equal. The moment they react, they are equal. They've got nothing on that person. But the moment that you've been violated or hurt and you, you say, wow, I'm going to be what? 

I'm gonna be the opposite of what that is. Everywhere I go and everything I do, because I believe in that and you don't hurt back. You just sent out a message about what you are and that is going to be reflected back to you. So sovereignty is knowing you. Have all the space and time to manage what feelings come in. 

And if you give them compassion, love, and acceptance, and you ask for what they need and you give them, give them, make sure those needs are met, you can do that within you. You feel powerful, you feel confident, and you fall in love with yourself because you know that you've got all the tools you need to handle life. 

So. Give another example. When someone close to you in your life isn't giving you what you want, that close person to give you, what most people do is start a fight or a reaction or a discussion and they try to solve the problem. And if that problem just can't get solved, there's always something you can do, and that is to tune into the feeling you really want to feel, and find 10 ways to give it to yourself when no one else can give it to you. 

I'm gonna go with a really kind of heart wrenching example here. There are many, many people, and I've, this has happened in my office lots of times. Clients who were never loved properly and they feel horrible. They feel like a deep sense of not being good enough, and they also have anger because they don't. 

They don't know why things don't go right for them, but things don't go right for them because of the belief that was laid down that they're not good enough. So they're filtering reality, not expecting things to go well, and then they don't, they, they unconsciously sabotaged them, but when they realize, you know, nobody's properly loved me my whole life in then instead of being angry about it. 

Blowing up in anger, they decide to rebel against not being able to love them and loving themselves that way. From this day forward, that is when it changes. So when you revenge and avenge with hate and anger, you're equal to what, how you were treated. You are equal to the people who couldn't love you. 

But when you decide to stand up for love. To in, even in a world that you feel is empty of love, to be love, that's when you treat yourself differently. No matter what goes on inside of you, it gets love. If you're sad, you cry and you nurture that sad, that sad you. That is the beginning of a rebellion for something wonderful that will take you on the path to have it reflect on the outside. 

I actually believe that living in a way where you realize that you are in charge of the feelings that arise inside of you. Accepting them, loving them, healing them, and that it's all that you need to do while you go through your life and do all the other stuff you do. But that's more important. Um, it's a much more powerful way to live. 

It's simpler. It's a simpler way to focus on what's important, and you'll get results a lot faster than thinking about everything that's happening outside of you and trying to change that whole thing. I hope this is clear. I hope you got something out of it. I'm Sheila Winger. This is Shift is Happening like Sharon, subscribe.