All the Way Out of the Closet

Transcript

 Whew. Welcome back. I'm Sheila Wenger. This shift is happening now in this episode, I am going to come all the way out of the closet in my podcast, which is on Spotify, audible and Apple Music. I came out of the closet early on in one of the earliest episodes of my podcast, but now there's another level that.

Has happened to me later that I have not yet shared on this channel or in the podcast. When someone comes outta the closet, it is a vulnerable moment, but they do it because there's a reason they have to. That's right where I am right now. My life has taken me on a journey, and if you have watched my last episode.

Taking it to the next level, my life has taken me to the next level in a way that I have not shared with you, and I'm going to share in all of its glory and vulnerability right now. So in this episode, I'm gonna show you that life is dancing with you. It's playing a beautiful game. With you to care about you.

It's for you to wake you up, to make you realize that you are made of God, that you are perfect the way that you are. And anything that's made you think otherwise is just conditioning and layering that needs to be removed. There's nothing we need to add to you. We just need to remove layers that have not been true about you, and that's what's been happening to me.

So in an earlier episode of my podcast, shift is happening, I told you that I had had a spiritual awakening and I had, I had reached another higher level of awareness in my life that then took me on a journey that led me right to opening my hypnotherapy practice that could quickly and remarkably heal people's psychological limiting beliefs and traumas and habits and all sorts of things.

And so for the last two and a half years I've been doing that, but something else has happened that showed me what my life is for and about, that I'm gonna be working on until I die. If I die. And what happened is this, here we go. I have always been a purist. I have been a meditator and I have reached high levels of ecstasy in my own being.

By meditating and a ritual that I created with my husband and our best friends that we've been doing for 25 years, and in that state. I'm aware that within our own human bodies, we have capabilities to reach ecstatic states. Many people write about them. I would not say that I reached a total samati where I feel completely aware of everything.

Many people have experienced that it's similar to that, but I would not say there are others that I've heard that are even higher than I've gone, but it's a very high, ecstatic state. Well, I. I came across Franco Romero and I worked with him as a spiritual guide and helper for I don't remember how long.

Several, many months. And we would talk every week and because I realized that he was further on the path than I was. And in working with him, I had a lot of realizations. He would say things were true and I would struggle to accept them and then apply them in my life and find out that life did reveal that those were true.

So. I think it was a year ago almost exactly. He did a retreat. And at this retreat people were he had a shaman who was giving a mushroom ceremony. I had never done mushrooms. I didn't really have an interest in doing mushrooms. But because Franco was doing this retreat and I deeply trusted him, and he trusted the shaman, and he expressed to me that this can show us where we're going on our journey.

Can give us another glimpse as to. What's going on in our lives? I decided to go, and what I'm gonna say right now is the experience I had is not a typical experience at all with mushrooms. So if you've heard other stories, this one's not like that one. And I want you to buckle up because that's what I ended up doing.

So there were about 10 of us and we were all in our own little spaces, in the same room with wonderful music playing, and we all, you know, got a certain dose based on our experience and our body weight and that, and I took a decent sized dose, I think it was about four and a half grams of mushrooms.

And I sat meditating and I saw occasionally I'd open my eyes and I'd see the other people were lying down and I didn't feel anything different. I was sitting there for about 45 minutes and nothing happened. There weren't any psychedelic, reality wasn't shifting in front of my eyes. Nothing was happening.

I was completely sober. So I called the shaman over and I said, I'm not feeling anything. And he gets these wide eyes and says, you're not feeling anything. And I said, Nope. So he brings me about two more grams. So now I'm at 6.7, 2.2 grams. So 6.7, which I believe might be qualify as a heroic dose. And I lie there and I do notice one song sort of takes me into a nice.

State of mesmerized for a little while, maybe about five minutes, and then completely sober. Now, I'm, I'm a bit down because when I was taking these mushrooms, I had said, I wanna experience the highest level of consciousness that I can handle, and I am not a very limited person, so I. Pictured going really high and experiencing realms that I know exists that I haven't had access to yet.

I was all in. I was not nervous. I was not afraid. A lot of the other people were more nervous. I was not. I was all in. So then for me to have 6.7 grams and have nothing happen, felt sad. But then I became determined. I thought, you know, I don't need, I don't need mushrooms. I can do this myself. I became super determined.

I'm just gonna meditate my way myself and I'll just sit here all night if I have to. I was determined. I have a certain amount of, I will not stop in this body of mine. So I do that for another 45 minutes or so, and then the shaman comes over and taps my shoulder and he says, are you feeling anything? I said, I could go run a half marathon right now.

He got the big eyes again. Really? 6.7 grams. You're not feeling anything? I said, I Not at all. He pulls me aside and he sits me down. He goes, I have an option, but I don't know. I could give you another, I forget how much, I don't know, three grams. I'm just, I don't remember how much the other dose was, but, but if I do that, that's a lot.

And are you worried about that? I said, no, I think you could give me 20 more grams. He said, all right, well I'm going to mix it with some cacao and some other ingredients and maybe that'll activate it. I'm like, do whatever you wanna do. So he makes up this tincture. I think it's about three more grams, so somewhere around nine.

And I drink that, and then I go back into my meditation. I'm still not feeling anything but sober for a while, but then I start to feel. Some sorrow. Some real sorrow because I am so in love with what my life has done with me, with the spiritual awakening that I've experienced, how I've, what I've come to know about life and God, and to get nothing.

After nine grams, I started to feel really sorrowful, and then I started to cry. This was a deep cry and I thought, well, I know to let that stuff go when it comes 'cause it's cleaning out something. So I cry that out and then I come to peace. And then what happened was something I've never heard of from anyone else before.

After I cried my sorrow out, I felt like I could take in the sorrow of the world. Purify it through my body and heal it. Now, let me just be clear. No psychedelic visuals are happening at all. I otherwise feel completely sober, but somehow I feel that I can take the pain in this world and purify it by taking it into my body.

And so I start doing that. I start thinking about war. I take it in, I breathe it in, and I'm, this is gonna be ugly. It was ugly. I would feel it physically and I would do something like this

ugly. I would feel it and run it through my body, and I believed and felt that I was purifying it. I was taking it from the world and purifying it through me. Now you can imagine this became a spectacle. People became concerned about me, so I started saying, I have people who can verify this story. They were all there.

Franco Romero is one of them. I then began to tell people, this isn't my pain. I'm fine. All I need is water. I'm not stopping. And I did that for about four hours straight. I looked like a crazy person. Make no mistake, but I knew what I was doing and it was, it's as clear in my memory today as it was that day.

There was no gap. I remember everything about it and that I absolutely believed I was healing the world. I still wonder if I was,

what happened next was even more extraordinary. After about four hours of this, my mantra became, I'm not stopping. I, I would occasionally just say, this is not my pain. Do not worry about me. Just bring me water if you can. I'm not stopping. And when I said I'm not stopping, I didn't mean for that night. I meant for my whole life.

I knew I meant it then. I know I meant it. Then now, and I'm still not stopping. So. The next thing that happened was a woman in this retreat sat in front of me, looks in my eyes, and says, I think I need you now. I told you I'm coming all the way outta the closet. Get ready. She had been abused. She had been, she had lived a life dedicated to God, but never felt.

That she fully got the love and acceptance that she always craved. What happened next was she could see in my eyes that I was of God, and she would ask me questions and I could answer them perfectly. I could soothe her. I could answer her questions in the way she exactly needed them to. And then I took on her pain.

I said, give it to me. And I felt it. And again, I was writhing and screaming and doing all those things, taking her pain from her. And then I became the entities who abused her. I became how they would feel. Could they face the pain they inflicted, which made me say to her, I'm so, I'm so, so sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

I felt their grief. I felt their remorse. I felt that if they had to face what they had done, they would feel, and I apologized, begged, and pleaded for her forgiveness as if I was the one who did this to her. And it was truly sincere as if I were the abusers themselves. She looked in my eyes and felt the remorse, and it helped heal her.

What happened next

was I knew that whatever presence I was becoming, being for her, she needed to know. This would never go away. I became the essence of God. I'm just gonna say it. It's what I was. I stayed with her all night long. I began to tell her, I'm never leaving you. I will never leave you. The only way that we could ever be separated is if you leave me.

I will never, ever, ever leave you. And she couldn't quite believe me. But I wanna tell you audience, I meant it as me, Sheila. As me, the entity that I seemed to be embodying. What I mean by that is she didn't get it yet. I meant it that I would not leave where I was sitting. I would rent that house out for another week, another month I would fly my family to Arizona.

I was not gonna leave that spot literally until she was ready to leave me. And I meant it, and I know I meant it, and I feel it right now. Like I felt it, then I would've done it. I would've told all my clients, I have to postpone you until the moment she decided she was going to leave me, because she needed to know that that's what God is.

That's what I was in that moment. And I would embody it as Sheila human being to prove it to her. This is not a normal mushroom trip people, this is not a normal mushroom trip. I believe that that trip showed me what I am, showed me what my life is for. I'm gonna b I'm gonna back up to a ritual we did before we did the mushrooms.

We had to burn two pieces of paper with something on it. One of them was burn the container off of something that you want so that it doesn't have any limits to it. And the other one was burn something into the ground that you want in your life. I burned off the container of what's possible because I don't wanna have any limits on what I believe is possible, and now I live that way.

The second thing I burned into the ground was healing others, healing others. I want to be able to heal others, which is exactly what I did that night, and which is exactly what's happening in my office faster and faster. Since then, there's another thing that happened, and that is that when I left there.

I felt like I could take this skill of healing the pain in the world with me and all while I was on the airplane, I looked like this for two and a half hours. I was bolt upright. Occasionally tears would run down my cheeks because I wasn't stopping. I'm still not stopping. I knew that what happened there is what I am, and I'm not stopping, and now I'm going public with it.

So lots and lots of people might say I'm crazy and I don't care because crazy is where it's at people. It is where it's at. Now on that plane bolt upright, I felt like I could get on some pedestal in the middle, middle of New York City and have people come to me and give me their pain and that I could take it from them and wash them clean and send them away.

Free. And I pictured myself doing this for part of that two hour and a half flight. I then asked God, if that's my path, let it happen. Take me there, I'll do it. And I meant it. I'm still that person and coming home. Since then, I have found my life spiraling upwards to helping more and more people with things I did not know I could help with in my office.

And then that is spiraling up to even more opportunities that I'll share in another episode that have blown my mind even more than that. The shaman told me that this experience that he witnessed. Was not unlike an experience that he had that he knew of with Rom Dass. You may have heard of it.

Apparently he took a whole bunch of acid and it did not affect him. What does that mean? I don't know. I don't know what it means. I'm just me, but that's what happened to me, and that's all I know. And I do believe that that has shown me what I'm here to do, here to be. And life keeps making it more and more beautiful and showing me more and more ways to do it.

And now I'm completely out of the closet. This is who I am. I'm on a mission to make this world what it should be, what it can be to wake people up that are in the matrix. To learning how it actually works and teaching them how, and having them go as fast as they can on that upward spiral. This is why I'm here on this podcast on my podcast.

That's why I'm on the YouTube channel. And what I'd like you to do is if any of this seems meaningful or resonates, or touches your heart or just haunts you and you can't forget it, like it, share, subscribe, and send it all to your people so that we can do this together. I'm Sheila Wenger. This is Shift is Happening now.