Time Does not Heal all Wounds_This Does

 Time does not heal all wounds. Time only gives us enough distance from the experience that we may be able to handle finding out the truth about it.

 Today's topic is that time does not heal. All wounds is truth that heals all wounds. And I'm going to show you that and prove that to you by using examples and I'm also going to reveal some universal truths that are just absolutely black and white. Not very many things feel black and white in this world.

Transcript

 Hello everybody and welcome to Shift is Happening. Today's topic is that time does not heal. All wounds is truth that heals all wounds. And I'm gonna show you that and prove that to you by using examples and explanation. And I'm also going to reveal some universal truths that are just absolutely black and white.

Not very many things feel black and white in this world. And when we have. An opportunity for absolute clarity. Clear, clear, black and white. It can help us steer our lives in a way that works once we know those truths, because we can live within them. So here we go. Alright, so it is not time. The heal all wounds, time only gives us enough distance from the experience that we may be able to handle finding out the truth about it.

We may have enough distance that we have, again, want to go back and revisit what happened to us because we've had some time away from it. And now with that distance, we are more ready to find out the truth about it. But it is only the truth that heals. It's never the time itself. Okay, so I'm gonna give you some examples.

I had a client. Who was adopted and when he came to me, he just had this hole in his heart. I've seen a hole in a person's heart many times. It's just this agonizing feeling they have, not they have had for years or decades and can't get rid of it. I also relate to that feeling 'cause I used to have a hole in my heart.

I know that emptiness that you just can't fill when I see it. And he had this. And he was adopted. And sometimes adoptees have some abandonment, even if they were raised with loving, caring families and he was raised in a loving, caring family. However, this, this hole was still there. So when I worked with him and, and I age regressed him to the beginning of that feeling, it was very interesting.

It wasn't anything about when he was abandoned. Or, you know, left by his, given up by his birth mother. It took us to his, his subconscious took us to the moment he was playing outside with his friend. And his friend said, did you know you were adopted? And that was a devastating moment for him. It was devastating because he was in a reality that he just found out wasn't his true reality.

It really shook him. And because he was a young boy, he couldn't process that. He knew that he hadn't been told the truth, and so it devastated him and his sense of a relationship with his parents, even though that was a good relationship. So when we finished that, while, while we were in the middle of that session, he was expressing what was, what was so difficult about this and then.

It's a complicated process, but the realization that he had was that it was so shocking because his parents hadn't told him and he heard from this other kid. He concluded that that happened because they were good friends with this boy's parents. They had probably said something in passing. The boy heard it and then just blurted this out.

When he realized that that was what. Had hurt him, and then we did a healing process in that little boy who couldn't handle that experience. The the hole was filled. It just was gone. I mean, he, he came to me hurting so much that I went in to age regression faster than I normally do. Usually I do an introductory, introductory hypnosis session first so that somebody builds comfort with it so that the, by the time I use that big powerful tool, they are most.

Willing to do it because then it really works. But with him, he was hurting so bad. I just went right into it. At the end of that session, he did not feel like the same person because he had eradicated the, the truth was that his parents didn't try to deceive him at all. They were planning on telling him, they just wanted him to be a little bit older.

There was no ill intent. They purely and totally loved him, and once that was healed. The next time I saw him that was not there. The hole in his heart was not there. He was on a whole different level of okayness after that session. So it, it helped eradicate a belief he had, that his parents had lied to him.

Or had deceived him. The only reason he felt that was because he was so young when it happened, he couldn't handle it. But then when he relived it, he saw, he, he knew that his parents did, had no ill intent. So he, the grownup self just had to convince the young self that couldn't handle the experience, that everything was okay.

They didn't do anything wrong. They had no ill intent. They absolutely loved him, and it was completely healed, but it was the truth of the situation. Placed in the belief that lived in the subconscious that healed it. Okay? The belief lives in the subconscious because the subconscious records everything we can't handle, and it turns us into somebody else.

When we can't handle something. Now all of a sudden we're in a different reality. His was, oh my gosh, my parents didn't tell me the truth. And from that point forward, he had this, this doubt, this strange feeling inside of him. And when we. Used that technique, that subconscious belief was totally aligned.

Now with the truth of his parents', love for him. And now he knew it all the way through in his subconscious and the hole was gone. It was filled up. And then I've seen him a couple of times since, and now that's not even a part of what we're working on at all is just gone. Another example is a different client.

Who had a horrific childhood. I won't go into detail, but it was nothing very good at all. She did not know for sure, but sense that there may have been some sexual abuse based on some of her behavior as a child that did not seem normal, but she didn't remember it a lot of times. You know, the brain will help us avoid that by dissociating and, and people will not remember so.

She was, she was doing a lot of healing here. And so I asked her if she wanted to know, because likely with age regression we can find out. And, and she said, yeah, I do wanna know. Now why would someone wanna know? Because the truth heals all wounds. Once we know what our reality actually is, we can deal with it almost no matter what it is, as long as we know the reality that we're living in.

So when I age regressed her the memory, the repressed memory pops up because the subconscious remembers everything it can't handle. And she knew who it was because it revealed that it, the memory comes up in that process. And even though that was a hard reality to face. It was absolutely healing and she knew what to do.

That person was in her life trying to be in her life more, and she always had a bad feeling about it. Always kept them at bay. Now she knew why she felt that way, and now she knew that that person is not going to be in her life in any way, shape, or form. The truth healed the entire wound. I only saw this woman for a few sessions.

I can't remember if it was four or five, and. Before she came to me, she couldn't even cry. She did not have access to her feelings. And after five sessions, I think it was five or maybe four, she was done. Haven't seen her. She, she was grateful. She's wrote me an amazing review and she is just not operating from that place 'cause she has the truth and she knows on a deep, subconscious level that none of this is her fault.

She gets to have access to her feelings. Now. Her marriage is thriving. Her parenting is thriving in a new way, all because of the truth. A third example is a book that a friend of mine was writing for. She was co-authoring it or ghost writing it for somebody else. And so she, she was talking to me about the premise of this book and it is about children who are adopted or even egg donor babies like mine.

Whose parents don't tell them their story from a young age. And if they are deceived, if they, if their parents just act as if, you know, they were just, you know, born normally with mom they feel something. They feel something. About their identity on a deep level somehow, and they need to be told the truth.

So a lot of these parents don't tell their children that, that story that goes along with them since they're young and then they find out later. And if so, it's devastating because they felt something all along that they couldn't explain. And now they know it's true and it's. It's incredibly hurtful and painful to have had that secret.

And then they're gonna be very angry with their parents. They, the truth needs to be told from the very beginning. Now, the moment it is told, even though that's gonna cause a RIF in the relationship, it's still better for the relationship because that, that, that second generation person can now understand that the feeling they always had was right.

That's what's so hard about it. They knew something in their own inner guidance system somewhere that was always with them. And now they know there, there's a reason. If they were, would've been told earlier, they never would've had to feel that way. So they will get over the anger. They will, you know, eventually probably forgive each other.

But they, the truth is what begins the healing, because they have that feeling inside of them that just can't be explained until they have the truth. That is the truth. That sets us free. It is the truth that heals all wounds. Let's take this now to a feeling that you may have felt probably every human being feels from time to time.

And then I'm gonna start to get to some of the black and white truths that you can rely on and know are this way, so that when you encounter these feelings I'm gonna talk about that are difficult, you will know what to do. Alright? So have you ever felt a feeling that you just wish you didn't feel? Like, you know, some of the terrible feelings, like you really need something for yourself, but it's gonna seem selfish to ask for it.

It's gonna disappoint somebody to ask for it. And so that's, that's one of those terrible feelings like, oh, I just wish I didn't feel this way, but you do. Let's take a worse one. When you feel a feeling about your primary relationship that you just feel like, I'm not sure this is working, or I am not as happy here as I'd wanna be.

That's a terrible feeling. You don't wanna reveal that to your partner. It's so uncomfortable and scary. So when we're feeling something that we wish we didn't feel, it's still the truth that will heal this. So let me explain how that happens. If you can get yourself to say it, only good things will happen.

Now, I don't mean immediately only good things will happen immediately, but you either that will happen immediately or what happens will take you down to the ground level of truth upon which you can move forward in your life in a positive way. It's only illusions and lies and avoidance that ever hurt us.

So if we are not feeling happy in our partnership and acting as if for all the other reasons, acting as if we are happy for the children, acting as if we are happy so that people will think we're happy that is gonna kill us. It's only pretending and avoiding and diluting ourselves that creates pain and that pain.

Here's the black and white thing that will only get worse over time. It won't be a straight line down, but it will be a circular revisiting round and round. The merry-go-round of, oh God, here's that feeling again, and then it might get okay for a while then, oh my goodness, there it is again. It'll be a merry-go-round of that negative feeling.

It will not go away and it will get worse the more we deny it. Pretend it's not true or, or anything other than admitting it. This is what's black and white. The truth, whether it's ugly or not, facing it, admitting it. Owning it will take us to our best life. It may be difficult at first, but it puts us on the ground level of our truth and whatever that is, we can, we can step up from there.

But if we're not on the ground level, we have no grounding to step up from. So we are not gonna go anywhere. We're gonna fall. Only place, we only place we can go is down. You have to be on the ground level of truth. So let's say that a terrible example of I'm not happy in, in, in this marriage right now. I, I don't know what to do about that, but I can't admit that I'm happy.

I can't say that I'm happy and I don't know what to do about it. Once that is said, only good things are gonna happen in the long term. The first thing that's gonna happen is you might get love. And support and care and kindness. Your partner might say, oh my gosh, all right. I'm, I'm, I'm so sorry to hear that.

What can we do? There are so many different things that could be contributing to this. It may not be a marriage problem at all. There are so many people who are strapped for time, both working full-time. Technology's taking over, and because you don't have much time, kids are on the screens too often. With all the activities going on, you can barely catch up on the household and so you don't have time to connect. And so it has, it could be so many reasons that you're not, you're not happy. So that person isn't happy that just saying it may help their partner and that person step back and look at the whole picture.

Go, what do we need to do? This isn't working. Maybe we need, since we're both working, let's use, let's try to live beneath our means a little bit more. Hire some help, take some stress off. Maybe one of us could work part-time. Maybe we could buy a smaller house. I mean, if they want this to get better and now both people are working on it, there's a way it can get better.

And if it is about the relationship itself, then the best case scenario is that person may honestly examine something they're doing and and make it better. So it's not comfortable to say it, but they may get love understanding. Compassion and now a partnership to try to make it better. That's the best case scenario.

Option B, you don't get seen. You get the opposite. Something like, well, I can't, Ima, I can't. Why aren't you're never happy? It doesn't matter what I do. You're never happy. That's not being seen and supported. But in this option B, there's two op possibilities. One is, maybe it's true. Maybe you are never happy.

If that's true, there's a reason for it. And that means that if you can't, no matter what you do, feel happy, that's when you need therapy. Okay? That is not because you are flawed. That is because something inside of you needs your attention or you won't ever find happiness. So even hearing that is, it's terrible.

You wanna feel seen and supported, but you learn two things. One is your partner's really frustrated and. B, you need some support and help, and maybe you as a couple need some support and help. That realization is much better to have than to keep pretending because now you're doing something about it.

You're addressing what's true rather than going on pretending, which will only lead to something worse. I promise you. Denial and avoidance only make it worse. Accepting, facing your truth, admitting your truth always takes you upward to a better life. Okay, now I wanna speak about some universal truths that can help you with this concept.

If our life always gets better when we're tuning into our to our truth, our inner truth, and we're saying it and we're speaking it, and we're being it. More, honestly, it's not as if ev the red carpet just lays out for you and it's all smooth and no bumps, but the bumps that you have are real bumps. And if it's an uncomfortable truth you have to face, that's better always than an illusion.

Let's take let's take a, an example of. A couple. This happens a lot with couples who are divorcing. They often start off all, I, I usually only have one side of the, one side of the couple is coming to me, and they're getting divorced and they always start off with, we wanna do this amicably. We want to, you know, as, we don't want to, we don't want this to be nasty.

We don't want this to be, you know, ugly and oftentimes. This is, it doesn't always happen, but you may have a person that truly needs it to be amicable, so much so that they get absolutely taken advantage of. So if they're not facing the truth that their ex is, is going to take advantage of their good nature, they're not facing that because they don't want to think that that ex is so vindictive and mean they'll lose everything in the divorce if they don't.

If they're not willing to go the other route, once it's, once it's visible that their ex is not healthy, not able to be amicable, not doing their part in moving this process forward, if they don't face that truth, they'll give everything away to them just to be done. Just so that they don't have to face them just so they don't have to have conflict.

Now there's a time and a place where, because of the nature of that person, it may actually be in their best interest to do that. It may be their truth that that person is so toxic that I'd give anything I'd, I would give everything away just to never have to see them again. Sometimes that is a truth, but barring that example, if it comes to be that that person is.

Taking advantage of their need for no conflict, they're gonna lose everything. If they don't rise and grow into being able to handle some conflict and face it, they actually need to find a lawyer. They actually need to go about it that way, or they're gonna lose everything completely unfairly. Okay. So it's denial of the reality that hurts us always.

So let me now talk about sort of the universality of this journey that we are all on. This truth is so important. It's such a fundamental concept for the beauty of life to unfold with us, that it's actually everything that the process is made up. So in my earlier episode, talking about levels of consciousness, if we are aware that we are on an inner journey, our inner journey is taking us.

Past an illusion that we're carrying and then we live on a new level because now that illusion is, is eradicated and we're living in a higher level of consciousness because we're more consciously aware of what we are, what, what reality is. And then that's a whole wonderful new level that we're living on and enjoying life in until we become aware of another one.

When we find ourselves, this is such a predictable system. Once we find ourselves in a feeling of here we go again, oh my gosh, why am I feeling this feeling again, that is when we know we're on the edge of our growth. Again, this keeps going because we keep, if we're paying attention, rising to a higher level of awareness and consciousness that keeps making life better.

So once we, we encounter a new one, a new time where, oh my gosh. Okay. I've, I felt this feeling again and again. Again, again. Okay. I am on the edge of a limiting belief that's, that's running. I'm, I'm becoming aware of a limiting belief that is running in me. This is where some of these principles all come together.

It is an inside out universe. What is happening on the outside is reflecting what we are, what we are unconsciously, subconsciously believing. And there's no exceptions to that. This is black and white, you, you don't have to believe me. But if you live, start noticing and living as if this is true, it will prove it to you.

So I personally just encountered my next limiting belief. So, as you know, following my story on this podcast. I've done that before and my life just leveled up and I've talked about those levels and I've been living in bliss for a long time, and now I just reached an awareness that I'm still, I'm operating from a limiting belief that I was not aware of before and it's obvious to me here's how it happened.

I am completely booked solid all through June, which is wonderful. I love my work, so that's a very good thing. My daughter's home for the summer, and I look at my schedule and I have, I have zero time. I'm gone. I'm, I'm gone for two weekends and every single week is booked solid with clients, which is wonderful, which is what I wanted, but then I'm stepping back, going, wait a minute.

Now, how did it happen that I booked myself completely full on a month that she's here? That's not what I would've wanted. I, I'm a good mom and I love being with my daughter. So how did this happen? Because I, so I realized I was unconscious and then I had to look at that, what was I doing unconsciously?

And then I started looking about if a client came to me, the feeling that rises up in me when a client is, is struggling and they need help. What rises up in me is I've got to get them on my schedule. It's unconscious. It's, but that's what I do. I've got to get them on my schedule. So if I, I'll look and see if I have any room and I'll move things around to squeeze them in and make sure they get in as soon as possible.

And that's how my June got completely filled. And I'm like, alright, what's the limiting belief that I'm, that that's, that's running me because our subconscious beliefs. Run our behavior until we find out what they are and eradicate them. And I got to it. I knew, I found it exactly what it is. I don't believe there's enough love to go around.

I don't believe that there's enough healing to go around. I believe I have to do it. I, I know where this comes from. It's obvious to me where it came from and I thought I had, you know, reached a new level, which I had once I put myself in my life. Now I'm doing it. This, this new level is I believe that I've got to save this world.

I believe that other people can't do it. I believe that man, people come to me for this healing, and I've, I've never seen anyone else be able to do it the same way. And this is not an ego thing, it's just, it's a belief that lives in me. It's from childhood. And so. That's where my schedule got to be this way.

So if I were conscious of there's enough love to go around, you know, this world was made of love. That's true. I know that's true, but my subconscious does not. So if I were not operating from that limiting belief, I would make a schedule in June. That accommodated my daughter being here that had some breaks and spaces in there.

And then I would've, if I'd gotten a new client, I just booked them out several weeks. I mean, it's not as if they've not lived. Okay. All of this time before they found me, they can probably make it for four weeks. So if I didn't have that belief, my schedule would accommodate the my, the love of my work and.

My motherhood spending time with my daughter, and one day it'll also include me taking a bit better care of myself, which is also tied up in this. This belief, I realized that that that's in me, and now I have to do something about it. And so I am going to side myself up for a hypnotherapy session and have someone do age regression on me, just like I do to my clients.

So I'm gonna go to David Hill in Battleground. Hypnotherapy and I'm gonna tell 'em, this is how I do it for clients. Can you do it that way for me? Because I know exactly what I need and I'm getting this out of me. Once that's eradicated, I will be living on a higher level of truth and I will not act in the same way.

And I'll create a schedule that works for my kids, for me, and for plenty. Plenty, plenty of clients. So I say this because we are all doing this. We're either doing it unconsciously, and I'm trying to, or consciously, but I'm trying to illuminate it so that you'll see when you're having those merry-go-round feelings of why do I always feel this way?

Here I go again. Why am you know? Why am I feeling this way? Again, the thing that's really important to do is go into it. Don't avoid it. Speak the truth of it. You may not have all the nuances of it. If this isn't a. An ongoing practice for you, but the best thing you can do is find a close person and speak the truth.

When we are in a limiting belief, we sometimes can't see the forest for the trees. When I get in mine, I found that I can't find myself because my autopilot response is to give myself away to the person who needs me right then and there automatically before ever taking stock of myself. And so. Then I'll just have this dramatic urge for time alone.

Like, I can't find myself anymore. I need some time alone, which is true. I do. When I, when I've gotten up, caught up in the limiting belief and I've given myself away to everybody else, that's when I start to lose my own self. And I, I become desperate for time away, time alone. I am never alone, and I need that.

So if you find yourself there, you're on the edge of growth and it's actually a really good thing. Most people think, what's wrong with me? Or Oh my gosh, my life's falling apart. That's not true. You're just on the edge of growth to eradicate a limiting belief. And if you can face the truth of it, that will take you through it.

Okay. It's totally a reframe because this is what reality's doing to us. If we're paying attention to the inner journey, then it, it happens more smoothly. If we're not, it happens a lot more bumpy, but it is happening no matter what. That the whole purpose of being here is to realize layer by layer what we are and eradicate and remove illusions.

We're not adding anything to our, to ourselves. We are removing illusions. To reveal what we are. That's what's happening in life, and what we are is divine, but we will find that out when we get to our edge of growth. Remove the layer of unconsciousness, the limiting belief that is creating a reality, and then we reach a whole new level of awareness and consciousness, and that feels like bliss when we get there.

When we do that, we are in bliss living a whole new life. Until another one reveals itself. All right, final universal truth and then I'm gonna give you a couple things to practice. The universal truth is this is, this is a big deal. Alright? I'm gonna have you look at this two ways. If you scratch, scratch that.

Here's the black and white truth that if you practice acting as if this is true, it'll prove it to you. Anytime something is happening to you around you, for you, it is for you. It is a reflection of what you are believing inside of yourself and in your subconscious. It always is. It's terrible to have me say that because you feel like, no, people just take advantage of me.

No, my spouse is really, truly, just being a jerk has nothing to do with me, but it's not true. We are perpetuating it by a limiting belief. We think our spouse is insensitive, but we have never told them in the right way how we really feel or, I mean, that's just a silly example. I could give you examples all day, but we are subconsciously contributing to it even though we can't see it whenever we, when we are in a repetitive situation that we can't think our way through, we are not able to think it through.

It's not how it works. We have to. Get to the ground level of truth, find the limiting belief that is operating and then ideally get that out of us with hypnosis. But it is just, it's never that we are a victim, we are always contributing to it subconsciously, unconsciously. So if we can know that that's true, what's happening on the outside is a reflection on the inside always.

Okay. So. On a more positive note, if someone's unhappy in any kind of relationship, they can treat themselves the way they wanna be treated on the inside, and that's gonna change them on the inside. They can't control their partner, but if they can, they can notice. I really need to feel supported and I'm not feeling supported there.

I'm going to give myself unconditional support starting now. And I'm gonna seek it from my friends and from myself. I'm gonna treat myself well. I'm going to eat well, I'm going to whatever. When they give that to themselves, the dynamic will change and changing the way that they are acting and being in the situation, and then the situation will change.

It is an inside out process, always. So the way to look at this is we can. Do something different on the inside. We cannot control on the things or people on the outside, but when we treat ourselves the way we wanna be treated, then the outside will reflect it back to us over time. It just absolutely will.

The other way to look at it is if something's happening on the outside that is not working, we have to look at what am I believing? What am I believing is true? It's probably not true, but since you're believing it's true, you're living in an illusion and that illusion has to be eradicated for this to get better.

Without this knowledge, people make messes. Without this knowledge, they don't look at themselves, they, they blame and complain and deny and avoid, and it just gets worse. Okay? So I'm trying to help people see that illuminating what's going on. Will make it better faster. It's not easy to be vulnerable and speak your truth.

It's just the only way that it gets better and that feeling of, oh, this terrible feeling that I'm feeling and can't say is a gift. It is taking you to aware and higher level of awareness when we are uncomfortable. If we know this knowledge and know what to do, our life will get better faster. Not spiral downward like we see happen so often.

Alright, final segment of this is to give you some things to work on, and the first one is so simple. It's so stinking simple that the entire world would change if they could just do this simple thing. Tell the truth everywhere you go, tell the truth. We lie in little and big ways all the time, and every time we do it does not help us grow forward.

Practice telling the truth all the time. Start with the low hanging fruit with your closest people. Tell them actually how you feel. Are you okay? No, actually, why not? I don't feel ready to tell you, but I will when I'm ready. That's the truth. I don't feel ready to tell you is the truth, but I will, when I am, speak your exact truth in one or two sentences with a period on the end.

You don't have to go into a whole diatribe and you don't have to tell everybody everything that's all in your heart. You just speak your truth in that moment. Are you good? No. Why not? I'm not sure. Can I help? I don't know, but I will let you know when I feel ready to say more. Just speak your truth. Don't say I'm totally fine.

Don't say I'm fine if you're not. Whatever it is, just start telling the truth everywhere you go. It's way harder than it seems, but if you practice it, it becomes so easy. Then life becomes easy because you, you just only have to be you everywhere you go. First, exercise, practice telling the truth. Notice where you lie to yourself and lie to others.

Notice where your inner voice says no and you go, sure, yes, I'd love to. That's a lie. You wouldn't love to. You don't want to. You're trying to make them approve of you. Stop doing that instead, say. Let me think about that and I'll get back to you in 20 minutes, or, let me think about that. I'll text you tomorrow.

Let me look at my calendar. Let me check in with my husband, whatever. Speak the truth. The second thing is, notice your feelings. Your feelings are your guidance system to your best life. Even the ugly ones you're scared to admit. When you admit them, they'll show you the path forward in the truth. The truth is the only thing that heals everything.

So notice your feelings and then if someone's asking about how you're doing or caring about you, you say one true sentence about how you're feeling. You don't have to, again, you don't have to say everything. You don't have to spill all your beans. You, you definitely don't have to do that when you're not safe.

You can just say what you're feeling. I don't feel safe to share it with you right now. Why not? Because I don't think you're really gonna hear me. Why not? Because the last time I told you this thing, you just got mad. Now you're telling the truth. Now you're getting somewhere. Just say the one true sentence that is true when somebody asks you and this will take you forward.

The truth will set us free. Thanks for listening. I'm Sheila Wenger. This shift is happening. Have a great day.