John Walker reads 'A lexically challenged odour'

John Walker reads his poem - 'A lexically challenged odour' - a poem that plays with homophones. Read the transcript for a richer experience of this witty poem. 

This poem appears in 34-37 Degrees South 2025 - An Anthology of Poetry from members of the South Coast Writers Centre. 

Fresh words brought to you by the South Coast Writers Centre

Transcript

A Lexically-Challenged Odour by John Walker

A lexically-challenged guy set out to right an owed

A tail of whoa of a princess and a homophonic towed.

The towed, not interested in the made, road aweigh in a boat.

The princess, in a fit of peak, withdrew across the mote,

Her quest to find her prints had sadly come to nought.

And she cried her hart out as she went back too her lonely fought.

The wood-be poet turned his mined to other types of rime.

Determined to achieve sum fame in the dew course of thyme.

A brake into a music shop he thought mite be a bute,

And the punchline – when the bugler ran aweigh with awl the lute.

He rote a storey of a cereal killer, with a rye smile on his face.

The copse were baffled, though they’d cheque in every hiding plaice!

In this owed were teems of analysts to sea wear he had hid,

Til finally they gnu that heed run off to far Madrid!

He meta sticky end there when gourd their by some steers,

He tried to run aweigh from them, but they got him in arrears.

His last words to the chasing copse were “Gee that bloody hertz!”

So, just for once, a murderer shore did get his just desserts.

Now, technically, a rhymer is a guy who rights good rimes,

So this guy must be an odour ‘caws he rights oweds about crimes.

Righting poetry mite not suture, but it cud bee lodes of fun;

 Be my guessed and have a go, theirs prises to be won; 

Butt if, like this poor odour, you find that English spelling’s absurd,

Get a good thesaurus and treasure every word.