Empowering Change through Compassionate Care

Faith and healing come together as we welcome Catherine Harold, or as the men at Gateway Rescue Mission lovingly call her, Ms. Catherine. Join us to learn how she supports men through the toughest battles with addiction, using innovative methods like the "feeling wheel" and the power of prayer. Her holistic approach considers not just addiction, but also the co-occurring mental health challenges and the deep-seated trauma that many of these men have faced, providing a safe space for them to express and heal.

Transcript

Counseling and Recovery Program at Gateway

Rex Baker 0:00

Welcome everyone to More Than a Shelter. I'm Rex Baker, the Executive Director of Gateway Rescue Mission, and we talk about things on this podcast that go on behind the scenes sometimes that people may not automatically think about when they think about what goes on at a rescue mission. So today we have a special guest, Catherine Harold and Catherine you are affectionately known around the mission as Mrs Catherine. You are our counselor. You talk with and do sessions with the men in our recovery program. So welcome first of all.

Catherine Harold 0:33

Thank you for having me here.

Rex Baker 0:35

Glad to have you. Start off with just a counselor at Gateway Rescue Mission. What all do you do?

Catherine Harold 0:42

There's so many things that entails being a counselor and doing some case management, but also doing more counseling, teaching classes and even graduations. And those are the three things I want to highlight because I think they're the most significant part of my job. So with counseling, like you said, I meet with 25 to 30 men a week. Some of those sessions are shorter, some of them are longer, depending on the needs of the client. So some of the things that we go over are just addressing day-to-day issues. What's going on, you know, is there anything they need to talk about? I always ask, you know, thoughts, cravings, conflicts, concerns. Obviously we want to explore triggers and making sure that they deal with those issues. Conflicts you know there's 30 men in the facility that you know they're in close contact with. There's going to be conflicts and being able to work through those issues in a healthy way and just whatever concerns they have. You know, for each person it might be going to a medical appointment or a health diagnosis or just struggles with cravings. So it all depends on what's going on that session on that day.

Catherine Harold 2:06

You know, one of the things we definitely focus on is or I focus on is addiction, history and really learning about what their history is. W hat's their drug of choice? A lot of them are dual addicted. What that means is they might be addicted to drugs and alcohol, but they also can be addicted to sex or gambling or food, and there's so many other potential addictions out there that we need to address the holistic approach. Also with that is mental health issues. R eally focusing on again the holistic approach. You know, are they struggling with bipolar disorder? Are they struggling with anxiety or depression? Because a lot of times these guys self-medicate. They can't get the medications they need when they're out on the streets, so they take things into their own hands and we need to be able to explore that and look at different options for them to be successful. And I really believe that a vast majority of the guys have co-occurring disorders. They have the addiction as well as mental health, and we need to deal with both.

Catherine Harold 3:23

I also spend time asking them about their relationship with God. Are they praying? Are they reading the Bible? What is God showing them? What are some revelations they've had in the past week? Those are important topics because we need to look at not just recovery but their relationship with God, because, again, they go hand in hand for these guys to be successful.

Catherine Harold 3:49

We also look at childhood trauma and issues that they dealt with. Whether it's neglect or abuse physical, emotional or sexual. There's so many components and not that everyone has experienced trauma, but I really believe most people do and they don't know how to handle that trauma. So they turn to drugs or alcohol again as a coping skill that works in the moment but long-term leads to destruction. So we really need to deal with some of those childhood trauma issues. But it's not just childhood trauma issues, it's adult trauma for many of these guys as well, and not that everyone experiences adult trauma, but homelessness, gang activity, prison, being a veteran, those things you know there can be PTSD. There can be so many other issues that we need to address. One of the things I do with the guys and they laugh at it, I think it's valuable, is what we call the feeling wheel, and basically it's just a circle of all different types of feelings to help the guys to be able to begin to identify their feelings, because so much of addiction is stuffing feelings and not dealing with them and just using. So now they're clean and sober and all these feelings come up and they need to figure out, what they are first and foremost, and then what to do with them. I just think it's so beneficial for them to increase their feeling vocabulary.

Rex Baker 5:29

So that's something that, being a guy, I know that sometimes you know "I'm tough, I'm a guy, I'm a man, I can handle this. I don't need to talk all this sissy stuff about feelings, but yet they have feelings and many of them do have trauma, and so they need a good way to work through that.

Catherine Harold 5:44

Yes, absolutely. And it just begins to touch the surface and to begin to help them to become familiar with feelings, because as they progress in recovery they're going to need to really expand on that. I have this pillow with all the emotions on it and so it becomes something lighthearted and funny. But it opens the door. Everyone basically shares whatever's going on for that day and I'm a hardcore, you know good is not a feeling. And learning, "I feel happy, I feel joyful, I feel at peace. Those are feelings, but "good is not a feeling. So I kind of challenge them on that and again it becomes lighthearted and some of the guys joke around about it. They're like "I know good is not a feeling" so it works out well. And then the other thing that's so important in the counseling session is prayer. These guys are bringing up all these issues, all this past stuff, and to listen to them and to pray about those specific issues. So it's not just a generic bless him type of prayer, but it's really looking at almost like a summary of some of the things that we went over in the session. So it kind of sums it up, but in a godly way. So that's basically an overview of mostly what I do, but there's a few other things I do that I believe are really important. One of the things we have at Gateway is classes and for them to learn whether it's spiritual principles. For me, I teach anger management, I teach relapse prevention, and those are such important aspects of recovery.

Catherine Harold 7:36

Men, in my opinion especially, are quick to be angry and explode, and learning that there's feelings underneath the anger, maybe they feel disappointed or they feel betrayed, and rather than turning that into anger, for them to learn skills and tools to be able to deal with those feelings and to communicate in an assertive way. So we don't want them to be aggressive, you know, or passive and not say anything. Learning to be assertive and to have healthy communication style is so important. So we talk about that in anger management,. W e talk about thinking errors, emotional reasoning and looking at a lot of times we think something therefore we feel that that's true or we believe it's true. So, for example, "I feel stupid, I am stupid, that's a jump, that's unhealthy and that's a thinking error. Or blaming. " I had to drink because you went out with your girlfriends and left me home alone, putting responsibility on other people. So those are just some examples of thinking errors that need to be addressed to again be more successful.

Catherine Harold 9:01

A couple of other things I do in anger management is scriptures. There's so many scriptures on anger. Be angry, but sin not. Anger is not a sin and some of these guys think that and recognizing there's a healthy way to deal with anger and there's an unhealthy way to deal with anger. Yeah, it's a sin if I punch you. You know that's not what God wants. But to be able to express my feelings and to do that in what I call a win-win way, I maintain my dignity and allow you to maintain your dignity. So "I felt really rejected when you didn't call me" When you said you were going to call, versus how dare you? That puts the other person on the defensive and those are problems that need to be addressed to help people stay clean and sober.

Catherine Harold 10:00

Another class I teach is relapse prevention and exploring relapse warning signs. E xploring triggers, old playgrounds, old playmates, all of that. If you go back to the same old people, you're going to get the same old results. One of the things they use in the 12 steps is halt. If you're too hungry, angry, lonely or tired, it can lead you to be vulnerable to relapse. So being able to identify those things is so important.

Catherine Harold 10:32

Another thing that I think is important is making sure that they keep up with the disciplines. So, for example, especially in aftercare, are they going to church? A re they going to meetings? A re they working the steps? A re they praying? A re they doing the things that they need to do? Because sometimes they get complacent. " oh well, I did six months, I'm cured, but that's not reality. This is a lifelong, one day at a time process. And then the other thing that I'm a big believer in focusing on in relapse prevention is gratitude and focusing on all the blessings. All good things come from God and we need to remember those things. We need to focus on those things rather than focusing on the negative. You know, Gateway's not perfect and they can spend time thinking about the negative, but that robs them of all the blessings and all the powerful things they can learn if they keep their mind on gratitude. So that, to me, is important and we go over that in relapse prevention class.

Catherine Harold 11:46

And again, I said, there's so many different aspects of what I do, but the other thing I want to highlight, because it's awesome, is graduations, and I have the honor of doing the graduations with the guys and it is so awesome. We're a six-month program and the unfortunate thing is some of these guys haven't accomplished anything except their prison sentence. That's a sad reality and for them to choose to stay in the program for six months and to achieve this accomplishment helps to build their self-esteem. Helps them to have hope. T hat to me is phenomenal. Kind of how the graduation works is all the guys are there and whoever's graduating will come up front. I play the song that they picked. I let them pick a Christian song that was meaningful to them, that really helped them in their walk, whether it's about God or recovery or about both, about God's goodness, about God's power. It helps to give it a personal touch because it's about what impacted the guy.

Rex Baker 12:57

I've heard men say "you know, I've never graduated from anything before until now. That is cool.

Recovery Counseling and Trauma Support

Catherine Harold 13:04

Yes, 100%. We also give out a certificate of achievement, so they have something hands-on that they can show people, which is so awesome. We also allow family and friends to come, because God is a god of reconciliation and restoration, and that might not be the case for everyone, but to have that support, to have people there that you know are on your side, is such a blessing, and so we give them that opportunity to allow family and friends to come and to support them. Another thing throughout the program there's a list of scriptures that they're supposed to memorize, and they have six months and it's like 10 scriptures and they go over it every morning in chapel as a group so they can remember those scriptures, and so one of the things I do at graduation is ask them to share a couple of those scriptures, and they do it by memory, and sometimes I even ask, like, "what does that scripture mean to you? How is it impacting your life?" Because Gateway doesn't do anything random. It's not like, "oh, I have to memorize scripture. It's because there's power in the Word of God, and if they can know scriptures, they can use those scriptures when Satan tries to attack. You know, I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. There's power in that. Graduation it's such an honor to be able to be there for graduation. It's such a blessing to see these guys succeed. Some of them will go on to phase two of our program, where they start looking for a job and beginning to save money so they can transition out. Other guys maybe go back to family or have different plans, but we work with them and help them to have all the tools possible to be successful and so, again, those are kind of the things that I do that just really are so powerful in helping the guys be successful.

Rex Baker 15:18

We are talking with Catherine Harold, our staff counselor, who works with the men in our new life recovery program at Gateway Rescue Mission. So, Catherine, are there two or three big issues that you see that come up with the guys in general over time?

Catherine Harold 15:34

Obviously, addiction. You know meth is a big one, the opiates and alcohol those are some of the bigger trends when it comes to addiction. But another thing, and I kind of mentioned it before, is the mental health issues, and really so many have anxiety or depression and those things need to be addressed as well as the substance abuse. So that's a trend that's pretty significant, working with the guys. The other thing is trauma. You know, like I shared before, most of these guys have been through heart-wrenching situations and they turn to drugs or alcohol to escape because they had no other options as a child. C hildren don't know coping skills. That's something that we learn as we mature. So dealing with the trauma is so common when trying to help these men. And the other thing and this isn't as frequent but it blows my mind, is so many of these guys, as kids used with parents. S o it's familiar to them. I t's what they know second nature. "Mom and dad provided this, or I used with them because they were in the midst of their addiction, so they just opened that door for these guys to start an addictive cycle so early. I mean we're talking like 10 years old and it's heartbreaking.

Rex Baker 17:16

Trauma, is something that a lot of people don't really think a lot about if you haven't been through it. But I've heard it said that you know if you're homeless, you've experienced trauma of some sort of violence. P rison, you mentioned that. The whole gang, yes, and they carry that with them.

Catherine Harold 17:35

And a lot of these guys don't realize that that baggage impacts their choices today, and so to begin to make those connections is so important to help them to be successful.

Rex Baker 17:50

How big is depression? And I ask this question from a point of view of oftentimes in the church, in our Christian message, we can come across like we're saying look, "if you've got problems, turn them all over to Jesus and repent and sunshine's going to come out and everything's going to be great. But then you take someone who's addicted and all of a sudden they're not getting their alcohol, they're not getting the drugs, they're not getting the dopamine explosion in their brain, and the brain It takes a while for it to reset. H ow common is it to see depression and anxiety and sort of negative feelings for a while in those early months of recovery?

Catherine Harold 18:36

Absolutely Post-acute withdrawal is a real thing and can last for a really long time and so depression and anxiety can be so prevalent and for some people it can be temporary and low grade, but for some people it's significant and if it interferes with their day-to-day living, it might be an option for them to get on medication, and a lot of times the church, in my experience, just you know "pray to God and he'll heal you and deliver you." And I'm not saying God doesn't do that, but I believe that God can deliver people through using cognitive behavioral techniques, mindfulness, meditation and possibly even medication. I like in the 12 steps, it talks about addiction being a disease. If someone was diabetic, we have no problem with them taking medicine for diabetes, and sometimes, when people have mental health issues, they need to take medication. Now, in my opinion, with depression it's not 100%, but when you're dealing with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, those people really need medication to help them to be stable so they can function and learn what they need to learn, because if someone's psychotic, they're not getting anything from the program until that's stabilized

Rex Baker 20:11

Right. Let me ask you a tricky question. A lot of times we discuss sexual abuse from the point of view that it happens to girls. What about boys? We have an all-male program and you are sitting in on those sessions. What's going on there?

Catherine Harold 20:28

It is amazing to me that a lot of guys are exposed to pornography, or exposed to a babysitter sexually assaulting them and they don't even realize that's trauma. I think that for men there's a different stereotype and view of conquest. "Oh well, I was with this older woman. But the bottom line is, if you're a child, that is sexual abuse. A nd being exposed to pornography and all of that just prematurely exposes them to activities that are beyond their comprehension when they're so young. A nd it happens a lot and they don't even realize the damage it's caused.

Rex Baker 21:18

You are a woman and you are a counselor at an all-male facility and back before you were on board with us, we would talk about "hat are we looking for in a counselor or a case manager? We need a guy, because it's all men, but yet you are perfect for this job. Talk about what is it like being a woman in a building full of guys.

Catherine Harold 21:38

Well, I've been doing this and God opened the door for me to work with men for the past 10 years. It's something that God has blessed me with. Personally. I'm originally from New York. So, I kind of have this edge about me, but at the same time I can be gentle and loving, and I think that is a perfect combination to deal with these guys, because I can say things to them that men can't say they would just buck up against it, and I can say it with a gentle spirit but confrontational. So I think God created me exactly the way He needed me to be, to be able to work in this environment. The other thing, I think, is with women, we provide a different perspective, and having all these men, you know, it becomes a masculine competition, whereas with me, as their counselor, that's not the case. They don't have to prove themselves, they don't have to show how manly they are. They can be real, and a lot of these guys have had wonderful mother and grandmother roles, and so a woman helps to reinforce that motherly figure. There are some things a mom can say to a man that other people can't and I think it's true with the female counselor as well. The other thing is there's a lot of men who've been damaged by unhealthy women. W hether it's abuse, whether it's betrayal in relationships and as they bring that stuff out, we can address it in a therapeutic way to help them to work through some of those feelings so they can have a healthier relationship with the woman.

Rex Baker 23:25

We're talking with Catherine Harold, our counselor, and I've got to ask you about how you came about working at Gateway Rescue Mission. At the time, I remember, I'm thinking back a few years ago when you started with us. I was at home with my first round of COVID-19, not feeling too good and we had put a plug in our newsletter. Only did it one time. "W e're looking for a counselor, a case manager, whatever we called it, and you take it from there.

Catherine Harold 23:56

It was just such a God thing and I love it because it just showed me just how perfect and good God is and how he works all things together for good and provides for us. I was just looking for a non-profit job that was similar to what I had done in the past, and I came across Gateway Rescue Mission and I thought, "oh, this is interesting, this is what I've done in the past. I didn't know that this place existed here in Jackson, because like I said, I lived other places. So I was only in Jackson for a short period of time before I found Gateway Rescue Mission. And then I was like, "oh, this is interesting. So I pulled up one newsletter, just one, just curious to know. "Okay, let's find out more about what they do. And that was the newsletter with the job opening in it, and it couldn't have been any more perfect. I was like just felt my spirit jump and that this was what I needed to pursue, and so I can't remember if I called you or texted you or, you know, definitely got in contact with you as the executive director and interviewed with you, and it just seemed like such a perfect fit. It was funny because you guys were looking for a man. B ut, but that's how God works. We have our plan, He but he has right. And it was phenomenal.

Rex Baker 25:28

that, like I said, I was at home, I felt bad, I had COVID and I don't remember if it was a phone call or an email, but I got your message. I'm like, okay, "okay need to call this individual. It looks like she's a woman and I reached out and I'm so glad. But it's just, we only put that in one newsletter. And that's the way God is. He works through the small circumstances in our life to let us know that, hey, "hey is my plan all along.

Catherine Harold 26:01

Yes, absolutely, absolutely Praise God.

Rex Baker 26:05

Catherine, what do you love about your work?

Importance of Counseling in Recovery

Catherine Harold 26:07

So many different things and I'm going to kind of back up to a little bit of my testimony. You know I came from a dysfunctional background with addiction issues and what Satan meant for my destruction, God helped me to work through, and now can use it for His glory. And that, to me, is first and foremost, is I love that I am a servant of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords and that He's using me in such a way, because that's what we're called to do, to love others. And with that I love the guys. And what a blessing it is to work with them, to just watch their progress, watch those "aha moments. It's just phenomenal to just see God moving in their lives and just how God changes them and grows them. And for me, I'm humbled to be a part of that process. But it's amazing. And then another thing I love, this is such a blessing and warms my heart, is a guy who's graduated, you know it could be a month ago, six months ago, whatever and comes back and just shares where they're at and how God is using them and how they're staying clean and sober and how some of them are getting off probation or they're working and continuing to serve God. I mean, nothing's better than that.

Rex Baker 27:39

Let me ask you about that, because we get this question a lot when we're talking with donors in the public and out on the stump sometimes. And that is what is your success rate? And it's very difficult to nail down, but people are wanting to know "are you succeeding at your work? And what you're talking about right now does show success. That you've got some guy that went through the program and comes back six months later. "Hey, ms Catherine.

Catherine Harold 28:06

Absolutely. And you know, even for the guys that don't, we're planting a seed and God can use that in the future. So, even if we don't see personally the outcome, God is moving and there's no doubt about that. But, yes, not all the guys come back, but when they do, it's such a success story. It shows how amazing Gateway is, how what we do benefits the community, benefits the men and changes lives. That is a success story.

Rex Baker 28:46

What are some challenges you see in your job?

Catherine Harold 28:49

I think one of the things with working with men is pride, they want to do everything themselves, and trying to show them their best thinking got them in these messes and that they need God. And so many of them talk about self-will and "I just need to buckle up and breaking through that and letting them see that it's not about in their strength, it's about in God's strength, and that pride takes time to wean away and trickle down and it can be a barrier sometimes.

Catherine Harold 29:29

Another challenge and this is just what I see, is guys will be like "I'm delivered, god has delivered me, all is well, I am fine, I don't need any of this other stuff because God has healed me and no doubt God can do that absolutely. But one of the things I try to share with them is you're in a safe environment. Y ou don't have to work. Y ou don't have to pay bills. "ou don't have all these responsibilities, so it's a lot easier in the center to stay clean and sober, but the important thing is to gain the tools so that way you can be successful long term." And sometimes they don't make that connection. They just aren't having thoughts and cravings and praise the Lord, but to me it's not as simple as that. It's dealing with the physical, emotional and spiritual components of recovery.

Rex Baker 30:31

And we do see that, where guys come in and maybe for the first month or six weeks, the excitement of being in a treatment program or recovery program, and they do feel there's been a momentary lifting, maybe, of the compulsions and the cravings "an, I've got this. I'm healed. G od has healed me. I've got Jesus. T hat's all I need. I don't need Celebrate Recovery. I don't need AA. I don't need counseling. I'm good to go" and I've seen them, and you have to, walk out that door too soon. And sometimes you see them coming back and sometimes you hear that, "h, do you hear about so-and-so got arrested, or something of that nature. So, that leads me to my next question. I've heard this, "e don't need counseling, we just need Jesus." And not everyone feels that way, obviously. But what do you see, ms Catherine Harold, as the role of counseling in a faith-based, bible-based, Christ-based recovery program?

Catherine Harold 31:31

For me, counseling is essential. You know we're dealing with underlying trauma and we need to help these guys to deal with those issues to increase the chances of success, and so that's what counseling is about. It's about teaching them techniques dealing with underlying factors that might be unique to them, that might not be addressed in a group setting or an educational setting, and they need to be able to talk about stuff to deal with their shame, to deal with their guilt, to deal with all the things that have led them to addiction.

Rex Baker 32:16

One last thing and this is something you talk a lot about, Catherine and that is confidentiality. Because we're in a, you know, we've got this big 40-bed unit, a bunch of guys in there. Everybody's in each other's business. B ut yet when they go and they close that door to your office, you're very good at zipping it up and what is said in here is confidential. How important is that to the guy in the program to know that that's going to be honored.

Catherine Harold 32:43

It helps them to feel safe. A lot of them have been betrayed and have trust issues, especially those that have been incarcerated or homeless, and so they don't feel safe talking about some of the things they need to talk about. But the fact that they know this is confidential, that I'm here to help them I'm not here to police them and I think that that opens the door for them to share their baggage, their guilt, their shame, their hurt and knowing, if they cry in my office I'm not going to announce that to the group. T hat they can be emotionally vulnerable, they can be real, they can be whatever they need to be in a safe place.

Rex Baker 33:31

That is critical. We've been talking today with Mrs Catherine Harold, our staff counselor at Gateway Rescue Mission, so I'll ask you the big tough question that I'd like to ask at this point. Anything else you'd like to add?

Challenges in Counseling Services

Catherine Harold 33:44

Yes, actually there is one thing. Jackson has so little resources for men and it's really a struggle because the guys do great here in the program but after care. W e help them to get medicines. W e help them to get to the clinic. W e assist them and work with them with these things. B ut when they leave, how are they going to pay for the medicines? How are they going to have resources to really support their recovery? There's so many limitations in Jackson as far as transportation, you know, getting on a bus. Half of the time the buses don't run. S o how are they supposed to get to a job? All these things make it more challenging for them to be successful and it's really unfortunate, just I mean I haven't been here for very long in Jackson but just from what I've heard, there were so many more services and they were cut and cut and cut and the damage to me is evident because look at all the people incarcerated. L ook at all the homeless people. L ook at all the veterans that are struggling and are homeless and in addiction and can't get as efficient services. I mean there is the VA, but to get in a timely manner the services they need is definitely a barrier and our program is great, but the follow-up unfortunately isn't as smooth as a counselor, I would like.

Rex Baker 35:35

Right. And that Catherine, we could do a whole other segment on. S ervices that 20 years ago existed, that no longer exist today, and it's a tragedy that some of those have been cut, and so it does leave those of us in the fight sometimes having to address areas that really aren't in our mission statement, so to speak. But hey, it's still a need. So we try to do the best we can, and I think, I know God is using you at this station in your life to bless others, and it has been a joy visiting with you today. We'll have to have you back because I know there's a lot of other stuff that we'll need to talk about. Been talking with Catherine Harold, our staff counselor at Gateway Rescue Mission, and we're going to wrap things up for this episode of More Than a Shelter. I'm Rex Baker, your host, and we'll see you back here next time.