chelsea barbine (00:04.93)
Welcome to Postpartum Better, the go -to podcast for expecting a new mom's navigating life after birth. Hi, I'm Chelsea Barbine, wife, mama, yogi, postpartum health coach, and your new mama friend. Together, we're covering topics like postpartum recovery, maintaining your mental and physical health, finding your identity as a new mom, and rekindling your relationships. Get ready for expert tips

actionable advice and heartfelt conversations with other moms who just get it. The health and happiness of the world resides in us mamas. It's time to postpartum better.

chelsea barbine (00:49.172)
are you? Good, how are you? Good, I'm so excited to meet you. Nice to meet you too. Well, thank you so much for joining. Of course. everyone who is listening, we have Charlotte Edwards joining us today. And Charlotte, I know I told you this when I first reached out to you, but I love your name. It is so beautiful. We actually considered it for our daughter. So anyways, I just had to tell you that I love your name.

Charlotte is a NICU nurse, a transformational coach, and most importantly, she is a mama. And Charlotte and I, met through a podcast course, and I was announcing very excitedly that I was approaching launch. And we just kind of connected over her background and experiences. And quite honestly, this

the NICU experience in itself from not only a personal share, but also a professional education opportunity was not one that I had someone really to come on. And so when she so graciously offered to join and chat about it, I was like, my God, yes. Because I have talked about my own experience with a vaginal delivery and I just had my girlfriend on, she was my first guest episode that we just released.

to talk about her C -section birth and recovery. Neither of those experienced a NICU stay or I'll say separation really from the little ones. So I'm thrilled to have you here. I feel like so many moms listening are going to appreciate a little bit of a preview of what that may be like, should that be their experience? And those who did experience it, I'm hopeful that they're gonna feel very validated and seen and what that may have been like.

you know, for you and perhaps their shared experience. So thank you so much for being here. Of course, of course, I'm happy to be here. So tell me a little bit about yourself. When you became a nurse, was that before, you know, you had your son, right? So, no, I actually, I actually sold real estate for like 10 years. And then I had my son at

chelsea barbine (03:13.102)
emergently at 25 weeks gestation. And then after that experience, I went back to nursing school and became a NICU nurse. Yeah. So I've been a NICU nurse now a little over 10 years. Okay. Wow. Wow. So definitely inspired by your experience in itself is what I'm gathering. yes, definitely.

It was definitely a journey. Like I said, so my son was born at 25 weeks, weighed one pound, 11 ounces and was in the NICU for four and a half months. And that whole experience changed pretty much the entire trajectory of my life. and through many different circumstances and support from other people, I decided to go back.

nursing school and support other mamas going through that same experience.

Hmm. That like makes me honestly just want to tear up hearing that. also could not help but catch the one pound 11 ounces, the one one one. I know if you're into like numerology, I'm a wannabe. I am on the yes, I guess I'm a wannabe too. But you know, honestly, you're the

And I'm surprised I never caught that before because you're the first person to actually brought that to my attention. And I am definitely a number person because I, especially like myself being with you and starting a podcast, I've noticed different synchronicities and you know, 11 11 or one 11 when I'm checking my phone. And the fact that you said that, I can't believe I've never put two and two together before. That's amazing. I'm honored.

chelsea barbine (05:10.638)
And honestly, I'm just like, my gosh, what does the 111 mean again? See, see this, this is where I'm one. just know that means I'm in sync.

chelsea barbine (05:25.108)
Okay. So, holy moly. Guys, truth be told, those who aren't listening, all we had really chatted about beforehand was you were a NICU mom, or you are, guess, technically, once you are, you always are. NICU mom, always a NICU mom. Yeah. Yeah. And you're a NICU nurse and transformational coach, so was just like, okay, amazing. But holy goodness, I did not expect that to be

really the start of the story. mean, 25 weeks, like, mean, can you share? Like, sure. I'm happy to share. And I was actually really, really sick myself. So the story starts out. My pregnancy was pretty much uneventful up until that point. I had

I remember very distinctly, I'd gone on a Thursday, did my glucose screen, all my labs were fine. And then on Saturday, I was out to dinner with my parents. It was actually my mom's birthday. And I was in excruciating pain. And I was thinking it was kind of like heartburn. All my friends were telling me they had heartburn when they were pregnant and they've never had heartburn before. So I just kept thinking it was gonna pass.

It didn't say much where my husband and had to leave and called my OB and they said, you know, take my lanta or something like that. Took my lanta, ended up throwing it up everywhere. And the biggest blessing was that it was like seven o 'clock at night because I think if it was later, I probably would have said, I'll sleep it off. And,

you know, go in the next day or see how I feel the next day and neither one of us would be here today. But, so I got to the ER and I, he was having, guess I make sure, tell me if I'm saying too many nurse lingo too. so they put me up to the fetal monitor. He, my son was being stressed out. He was having heart.

chelsea barbine (07:45.198)
decelerations, dropping his heart rate. And my, and I wasn't doing very well. And so immediately the OB was like, we have to take him emergency now for STAT C -section. And within an hour and a half of being there, my son was born. That's how quick it happened. I didn't realize at the time. So STAT C -section, I come to post -op.

And they were wheeling me in because I was at a smaller hospital and so they, my son needed to be transported to our children's hospital to the NICU. There wasn't a NICU at the hospital that I was at. And so they were bringing him by for me to see as they transported him. And I remember I couldn't see. I was like, was telling my husband, I'm like, my gosh, I can't see, everything's blurry. And I lifted up my hand and I was bleeding out.

And so they ended up having to put five pound sandbags on me to try to stop the bleeding and rush me back to the OR. And so...

chelsea barbine (08:57.174)
I ended up coming to, so I went back to the OR, and obviously some of this is my husband's recollection. And I was in a medically induced coma for three days. And so my poor husband was going back and forth between two hospitals, between the NICU and then the ICU where I was. But I remember I came to, it was my 30th birthday, and I,

I just remember I came to and I felt hor - like I was claustrophobic because I was tied down because I was on a ventilator. And, and I remember hearing my dad and my husband sitting in the room and I had no idea what happened. I mean, I just remember being like, coming to they're telling me that I had a baby, that it was a boy, that he was in a different hospital. he didn't have a name for a couple of days because we thought we had time to pick out a name.

And then as I recovered, I was in the hospital almost 10 days. And then once I recovered, I was able to go visit him in the NICU. But kind of going backwards a little bit, what we realized that I had was I had very severe help syndrome. So help syndrome is it's a very severe in the same preeclampsia family.

And it, so help is an acronym. It's hemolysis elevated liver enzymes in low platelet count. And really what it means is your body's rejecting the baby. And the only way to save the mother's life and the baby's life is to take the baby or deliver the baby. So in a nutshell, that was my delivery experience. my gosh. And you had said that like,

the weeks prior, nothing that would have like, flags this as like a potential. It just, out of nowhere, I was literally at my doctor's office on Thursday and this happened on a Saturday. And I was fine during the day. I remember, I was so excited. It was a beautiful February day here. It was cool. And I was for the first time going shopping to buy maternity clothes. Cause I actually could finally,

chelsea barbine (11:19.33)
finally get into maternity clothes. So I went shopping that day. I felt fine. And then all of a sudden I didn't. How is that? Is that like typical? No, no. I and I, and even just in my experience as a, as a NICU nurse, I've seen, think help can come on.

pretty strong either early on or then some people have help syndrome in their 30s, 30 week gestation and it's milder. mean, your blood pressure starts to elevate. You could have protein in your urine. You can start getting headaches and different things like that. So there are different warning signs. I think mine was just very severe and very

It's not typically your normal case. And honestly, due to the severity of it and how quickly it came on, it was highly suggested that I didn't have any more kids. And so that's why I only have one son. my goodness. Yeah. So I don't want everyone to be freaked out and listening. It's not something, it's very, an unusual case, but it's good to know that if you do feel something that isn't normal,

And like I said, going back, I'm so blessed that it was seven o 'clock at night, because if it was 11 o 'clock at night or something like that, I would have told my husband, I'll just deal with it and we can deal with it in the morning. And it wouldn't have had a great ending. So I think that pay attention to your body, even though you don't want to always feel like you're calling the doctor. mean, obviously, especially if it's a first pregnancy, but then again, there's a lot of people who have

totally different first and second pregnancies. So, but I do think, you know, pay attention to what your body's telling you and definitely reach out or go in and get checked if you are unsure. my goodness, 1000%. And I think I appreciate you calling out to like every pregnancy is unique in its own way. And I actually had that conversation with a friend of mine who was expecting her second at the time and

chelsea barbine (13:45.266)
we were chatting, she ended up having a C -section for her first and going into her second, was kind of like, positive as you kind of know what you're going in for, but then also like, yes, you're not you don't because again, it could be completely different the second time around. And so thank you for for noting that I, I feel like I hope everyone here like listening is just like, acknowledging that yes, we as human beings were different. And after

you know, a child and of course, then we're also, you know.

we are in teamwork, so to speak, with another baby and in its entirety, right? So I think that's, Wow, okay, so if I'm following this all, you were about 10 days after having your son until you were then released from the hospital.

and then could reconnect with him basically for the first time. That's a long time. Yes, it is. And I kind of had a sense of almost detachment, I would say, because of how quickly, like I didn't even process what was happening. just, I was just wheeled away in,

Like I don't even think I comprehended what it even meant was, hey, we're having a statsy session at that time. And then when I came to, I myself was so sick and on so many meds that I didn't really process what happened. I mean, I knew I had a baby, but it wasn't until I got down to the NICU that I could like touch his hand and really realize.

chelsea barbine (15:39.342)
I mean, I know that kind of sounds weird, but you really don't have that maternal attachment. And especially in such an emergent situation. Yeah, I would say I almost felt detached. And then once I got to the NICU and knew that this was going to be like my new normal, so to speak, for a while, then I was fine. But I do have to say when I got discharged from the hospital, it was like this weird kind of out of body experience of like what just happened.

It's a lot to process. definitely. And I'm kind of dating myself a little bit, but that was pre -iPhone. So my husband would have Polaroid pictures that he would take. the nurse was nice enough. I guess they have a Polaroid camera that they took a picture before he got transported. So I had the first picture of him there and then he would take pictures.

when he went back and forth. And then I got to call the nursing staff and, you know, kind of get updates until I could get there. my goodness. wow. That is not at all what I was expecting to be the start of this conversation. How, I mean,

chelsea barbine (16:58.818)
When you, when you arrived, right. And you did see him for the first time. And I mean, even at that point being. Born so prematurely, my understanding is there's not a lot of like holding that you could probably really do. Right. Is that a stupid question to ask? I mean, I think that that's, that's the craziness of the NICU is you really have, you do not have a concept of the NICU until you're thrown into the NICU. Like I myself, I.

I didn't know anything about the NICU until I arrived that day. And, and so I arrived, I was still in a wheelchair. had staples all over me from having multiple surgeries and, it was not relaxing experience. He was on a ventilator. He was getting an echocardiogram, which is an ultrasound of his heart. He was getting a check, check, chest X -ray. He was, you know, my husband could slide his wedding ring up his arm.

You know, so he was not stable enough to be held. I could put my finger in there and his little hand would wrap around like my finger, but I didn't hold him until he was several weeks old.

chelsea barbine (18:20.642)
Wow, you are sharing this with such grace. I could literally just burst into tears for you right now. Aww.

chelsea barbine (18:41.272)
Sorry guys, I was not expecting this sort of response. sorry, I guess I should have prefaced my story. no, no, no, no, no, no, please do not apologize. I just, I really feel like we so often take for granted what we expect it to be like. I think from a learning experience,

And this is what I even counsel moms that I take care of now is grief. So many people think of grief as dying. And so the NICU is such a unique place. And obviously it's such a blessing that we have the NICU. But as a mom in the NICU, so your postpartum, so you have all these

hormones, highs and lows, just being a postpartum mom, first of all. Second of all, you also have this grief and you don't even really understand it's grief because your baby's alive and so you're blessed that your baby's alive. But what people don't really talk about and what I'm trying to kind of, at least on my unit, discuss with moms is it's also a grieving process.

Like for me, I had a really hard time that I didn't get to wear maternity clothes. I didn't get to feel him move inside of me. I, all my friends were like, it's so cool. I mean, obviously this is before I had him, but it's so cool. You know, you get to see the elbow go across your stomach, like the little alien arm. And so I never got to feel him move inside of me. I never got to have the delivery that I, you know,

babe, let's hurry up and go. It's time to go to the hospital. You know, all those things that you fantasize you dream about when you get married and you're thinking about planning a family, you know, you're robbed of it and it's a weird place to be. And you've got so many emotions because on one hand, you're so thankful your child's alive. But on the other hand, you're sad, you're angry, you're confused and you're mad.

chelsea barbine (21:01.58)
that it didn't happen the way that you had dreamed it to happen. And you need to grieve that dream because,

because those emotions will come up throughout the stay and throughout. I mean, goodness, they can come up throughout your life if it's not something that you kind of, you know, talk about. And so I myself didn't realize that at that time, it took me, know, throughout my NICU stay, but having had that experience and working with moms now as a NICU nurse and.

whether it's an emergency section and your milk protection doesn't come in. And so maybe you can't really breastfeed. you know, so I, for me, my milk never really came in and I never got the experience to really breastfeed. And so it's just all these things that, whether it's you dream about as a little girl or you've seen a movie of how you think that your pregnancy is gonna go and how your delivery is gonna go.

that you really need to grieve the loss of that so that you can accept your new normal and then kind of be present in that space. And I think that that's really hard because it is a traumatic experience. You're in shock and you have to give yourself a little bit of space because it is hard. And especially when you're

So obviously I had my son when I was 30. I really had just turned 30. And at that age, everyone around you is having babies, or in that kind of thick of it. yeah, you're right.

chelsea barbine (22:55.618)
That's where sometimes people almost like hibernate in the NICU world because you don't realize until you're in there what a blessing it is to have a healthy baby.

chelsea barbine (23:10.766)
Tell me a little bit more about that. I think for me, I initially I would, you know, talk to friends and obviously they call see how it's doing, but the NICU is a strange place and unless you've been in a NICU, you really don't understand how medically fragile these babies are.

It's really hard to socialize with family and friends that are like, it's okay. He's going to be just fine. And then also,

you know, be with your girlfriends that may be pregnant, may have just had a baby, you know, maybe trying to figure out the sex and you want to be happy for them. And so I just remember I started kind of distancing myself from people because it was too hard. I distinctly remember in the being in the parking lot of a grocery store and my girlfriend was

I want a boy, I want a girl. And in my head, I just wanted to scream and she's a friend of mine and I wasn't, but I just wanted to scream, just be thankful you're having a healthy baby. Who cares what it is. And I know that that was just, you know, my baby was stolen a ventilator in the NICU and so it was very hard. so instead of robbing them of their joy, of their experience, I started somewhat disassociating myself, which may not necessarily be

healthy as well, but I had to kind of pick and choose for my own mental wellbeing of what conversations I could be a part of and what I couldn't. How do you think that that was for you? I mean, just as you were saying a moment ago, know, when you, when you yourself and others are experiencing a NICU stay, you're also experiencing shifts into postpartum and like,

chelsea barbine (25:21.698)
There's such an emphasis and I'll even admit, like, I encourage the surrounding of support and a tribe, of course, being very mindful of who that energy is coming from, right? And like how it feels to receive and because that's like a whole nother pan of worms that we could get into. But how was that? mean, like, how was that for you, you know, experiencing all of this while also

like feeling the need to disassociate or isolate, so to speak, as you were going through all of that. What do you, how, can you share a little bit more? Like, how do you think you really navigated everything? Probably not great, honestly. I mean, I had a routine. I'd get up every morning, call the hospital. I'd just sit at the hospital 12, 13 hours, come home.

My husband and I would watch something funny just because I just needed to kind of check out and I, know, pumping cycle, get up and do it all the next day. I very rarely,

left to do anything else. And I probably did, I probably isolated myself. I definitely isolated myself because it was very hard for me to be around other people because so many of my friends were pregnant at the time. And so that was very challenging for me. And I think that that's one of the reasons why I went back to the hospital. So after

So my son was there four and a half months and it was a roller coaster of it. Niki stay. He was ventilated for 75 days. He had infections. He had, I got calls in the middle of the night to, know, to rush down there. So it was a very emotionally.

chelsea barbine (27:20.846)
It just emotionally just tapped me out. I just had a really ups and downs and of what they call the roller coaster of the NICU. And after he was discharged, I went back to the NICU and I started a parent partner program for because I didn't feel - cry. You are amazing. my God. Okay. Continue. So I didn't feel I had the support I needed.

why I was there. Of course my family loved me, my mom was there, my sister was there, my cousin, but it's just such a different experience and like anything else until you've gone through something like that. You really just can't understand the fear, the anxiety, everything that goes along with having a baby in the NICU. So I went back and I created a parent partner program that

I started myself, it was just myself for a while, and then I had a couple other moms that I kind of trained on, you know, therapeutic communication and just kind of different things that we could do to support other moms in the NICU. And so I did that probably maybe a year and a half, two years. And then that's when the nurse manager pulled me into her office. I was like, and said,

I really think that you should go back to nursing school and come work with us. And so my son's first day of preschool was my first day of nursing school. So we both had our first day of school together.

Wow.

chelsea barbine (29:08.14)
I'm just like blown away by you.

Truly, I mean...

chelsea barbine (29:19.18)
I feel like you really hit on such an important sentiment, right? With the acknowledgement of grieving, right? Truly the loss of a hope and expectation. There's so much that we are, I don't wanna say conditioned like it's a bad thing, but that we are told to expect, you know, not only during a pregnancy, but also

from delivery and it's typically like this or this, right? It's like one or the other. There's not like all these other possibilities that really come up. And then also too, like anticipating for the postpartum experience, specifically the fourth trimester. And...

It's so interesting to, as I was like listening to you share, like I really feel that that is what brought such a strong emotional response for me is hearing your experience and then just immediately thinking how that must have shifted your early days of becoming a mom. Like a time that is, we are again are told

since we were young girls, like it's such a sacred, such a beautiful experience.

I just like I wish I could give you the biggest hug right now. Seriously, because it it's clearly something that I mean, it sounds you know, though that you really

chelsea barbine (31:00.152)
taken the circumstance as...

How do you want to say this?

It sounds as though that you've really found a sense of purpose in supporting other moms through your experience, from your experience in itself. But I just, in the moment in itself, I can't imagine that you were anywhere in a place of mind where you could have seen that potential, right, coming from it. And I'm just so curious to hear, you know, from your perspective and especially how

how you do support other moms who are in this similar situation. What do you share with them? things to... my Sometimes you just hold space for them. mean, everyone processes things so differently. But I also...

I think you find joy in the hard. You have to. And for me, in my experience, you know, when I was finally able to hold him for the first time and do skin to skin kangaroo care, and he had IVs, ventilator tube and all these alarms. But in that moment I could have him on my chest and just close my eyes. And even if it was for a moment, feel like a normal mom. And so.

chelsea barbine (32:31.17)
That kind of became my new normal is I'd go to the hospital every day and if he was stable, I would hold him and I'd almost close my eyes and almost try to like transport it to a different space. at that moment, if I could tune out all the alarms, it was just me and him, know, bonding and having this experience. And I had to find joy in that.

Like it didn't change the situation. didn't change the fact that he was in the NICU and he was still critically ill. But to find joy in the moments is what you have to do when you're in any kind of trauma or crisis mode. that's what I did my whole NICU stay is whether it was that I got to see him that day, that I got to hold his finger.

down the road was it that I got to give him a bottle, that I got to give him a bath. And you relished in those moments and found joy in those moments. And that's what you had to take away to protect your sanity, really. that's what I do with moms.

Now is...

chelsea barbine (34:01.546)
is empathize that this is difficult, that this is not where they want to be, but also help them see, because if, you know, everyone's at different places emotionally and you don't know what also is going on in their home life, but, know, is help them see how far their babies come, help them see the positives of today and

just get through those moments because otherwise it just overwhelms you. It really, it really does. And the fact that every day you have to leave your baby in the hospital and not take it home with you. especially Niki stays or, mean, every now and then we'll have families that are there maybe a week, maybe it's a baby that came up from, you know, newborn nursery level one nursery just for like glucose instability.

More often than not, your NICU stay is several weeks to several months. And so you have to help the moms and the families have whatever kind of normalcy you can create for them. If it's letting them hold for the first time or just teaching them how to touch them with all the equipment when they get to a point where they are able to feed.

letting them have the experience of feeding the bottle, letting them change the diaper, take the temperature, help them be a part of their care team so that they can at least feel a part of this experience versus being a spectator in their childcare. So even when, I mean, I even had a two pound baby yesterday and I'm teaching this mom how to help change the diaper just so that she could

even though he's in an isolate, know, put her hands through the little portholes and teaching her that it's okay, you know, and helping her change a diaper so she could feel at least a part of the care. And you try to do that as much as you can and as much as depending on the medical situation allows so that it just helps the family and the parents with their grieving process.

chelsea barbine (36:30.348)
Yeah. Was that what you found to be most, most helpful in your own grieving of everything? How did you really, I mean, you shared that you didn't have that guidance, like what you provide. So what, how did you really navigate that for yourself? I did, I did have several nurses that I formed very strong bonds with, that were wonderful, but, and I did,

form some close relationships with other moms that I had met. Maybe their baby was next to my son. so I did get to meet some other moms in the NICU. I mean, it's definitely hard. We were there for a long haul. so seeing all these other babies get discharged and you're still stuck there. But I do think that helps. do think, and that's why I think it's so important,

If you can bond with another mom that's been in the NICU and their baby doesn't even have to have the same diagnosis or prognosis of what's going on. It's just the similarity of having a baby in the hospital that you don't get to take home with you and the stress and anxiety that that induces. But I do think that

reaching out for those moments that you can find joy and that you can feel like a mom are so, so important. And the NICU has come a long way since when we were there. I mean, we have art therapy now, we have music therapy, we have all these different experiences for the babies, for the families to help support them in their journey, which

I think is just such a blessing.

chelsea barbine (38:30.402)
That's probably not standard, right, across the board? It's probably your specific hospital, I would. No, I think some of the bigger... So I work at a big level four NICU in our state. I know you're outside Philadelphia. I know CHOP does. I mean, I think maybe some of the bigger children's hospital definitely has these supportive services. Maybe when you get to the smaller towns and rural towns,

Not so much, but even still, bonding with your nurse and getting your nurse to include you in as much care as possible helps you grieve this process of being in the NICU, but then also helps you become a confident caregiver. So when you do take this baby home that's been in the NICU for so long,

that you feel confident and you're not scared of the baby. You're not scared that you're going to hurt the baby. And I think that that's important. As the baby grows, you get more and more confident in your skills as far as parenting a NICU baby. Goodness, I was nervous and that was not our experience. I couldn't even imagine. mean, my goodness. Do you have any tips for

for moms who may be listening, who may experience this.

Just generally speaking, who are not going home with their baby, do you have any words of encouragement or again, things that they could really sit with and take as someone who experienced that?

chelsea barbine (40:26.414)
I do think self -care is very important. I tell this to all my moms, and it's honestly something that I didn't do a great job of when I was a mom. Even if it's taking a walk outside and getting fresh air, I knew. I sat at the bedside 12, 13 hours a day, and it was a dark hospital because the baby couldn't have sunlight.

that's not good for anyone's mental well -being. so I, your baby's gonna need you to be,

in the best care that you can give yourself. also, mean, it parlays into so many things. Obviously, it parlays into your postpartum experience. It parlays into your pumping experience, your production of breast milk, and all the things. But most, it's for your mental well -being and your emotional well -being. And I will even tell moms, I'm like, just go sit. We're lucky enough that we have this balcony.

with rocking chairs and I'm like, just go sit in a rocking chair and feel the sun on your face for at least 15 minutes. Like I don't want to, you you need to go outside for like 15 minutes and just get some fresh air and, and, and then that's okay. Cause I think that there's such a pull that you do have to be at the bedside 24 hours a day and you're isolated. You're isolated in this room with your baby and you do

It is great to be with your baby and I'm not discrediting that, but I do think that there's an increase in postpartum depression just because you are isolated. And especially if your baby's in for the long haul, you do need those moments where you may sleep in. Call the nurse 10 times if you want to check on them. If that makes you feel more comfortable, but you might need to

chelsea barbine (42:34.04)
have a lazy morning, pump, get a good breakfast, take a good shower before you come sit at the NICU all day. And then I do think, you know, when my baby was in the hospital, we didn't have iPhones and we actually weren't even allowed to have cell phones in the NICU just because of all the infection risk and all the germs. And I still would say that to moms now, bring a book, read to your baby.

play some music to your baby. Do all the things that you would do with a newborn at home. You can still do with your baby in the hospital. And yes, because of the trauma, it's easy to numb out on your phone and watch a bunch of videos and things like that. But that's not doing your baby good and that's not doing you as well. So I encourage parents to come and while they're there,

actively participate. Like I said, change the diaper, hold the baby, feed the baby, read to the baby, and then if you need to go take a break, go for a walk, go home for a couple hours, and then come back because just sitting there worrying about every alarm isn't going to be great for your own well -being.

chelsea barbine (44:00.696)
Thank you so much for sharing all of that. You're welcome. Like just in being vulnerable, sharing your story and really in a sense like revisiting that time period for you in your life.

Yeah. I always close with one question. OK. And then I would love to give you an opportunity for you to share how listeners can connect with you, especially for those who are feeling very, really just drawn to your story. Perhaps they even guys, if you

feel comfortable just to reach out and share. I feel like, my goodness, I'm like a puddle of tears over here. Sorry guys, as I sniffle my nose. But I always ask at the end of every conversation, if you had, and I think I know the answer given our conversation, and so curious, if you had the opportunity to share one piece of advice with

every new mom or expecting mom, right? What would that be?

chelsea barbine (45:28.63)
Wow. So every expecting mom. Every new mom, every, yeah. I would say...

chelsea barbine (45:42.19)
to enjoy the experience and to not be married to the outcome. And what I mean by that is enjoy the pregnancy, not be so concerned, boy, girl, vaginal delivery, C -section, enjoy the experience of being pregnant, enjoy having a healthy baby, and that it's such a blessing. It really is. And I think that

so quickly that we forget just the miracle of having a baby. And it's just amazing what a woman's body can do and to create this human being and to give yourself some grace too. So from the postpartum aspect is your body just created this wonderful miracle. then on the, you know, the backside, give yourself some grace.

because you did just create this wonderful, healthy miracle and you should relish in that and enjoy that moment and you'll get back to where you need to be and with love and support from family and friends. And I would just really just say, enjoy the experience.

Thank you for that. I'm receiving that myself. Even and missed all of the challenges with the toddler. I'm not gonna lie, there are moments when, you know, I feel like in motherhood, we're always pushed to a point in wherever you know, our journey goes that we're just like, it's like, but if I just think, thank you. I'm appreciative for this experience exactly where we are.

I think that will bring a lot of lightness and perspective to every day. So thank you for that. you're so welcome. I'm so glad that I was able to come on and share my story. I welcome if anyone is going through a NICU experience or has family or friends that are going through a NICU experience and you

chelsea barbine (48:03.618)
don't have anybody to talk to or to reach out to. I mean, feel free. get calls from friends of friends and family friends all over the country will call me just to chat or just ask for advice. And I'm always open to that because I never want anyone to feel alone in their journey. And I think that it's really important to be able to talk to someone who's gone through it.

I welcome anyone to reach out. Thank you. How can listeners connect with you and follow up with that generous, gracious offer? So I do have a website. It's charlotteedwardscoaching .com. And then my Instagram is Charlotte P Edwards. And you can always just instant message me.

and I will be happy to chat with you. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you coming on and sharing. Of course, I'm happy to be here.

chelsea barbine (49:19.928)
Thank you for joining me for this episode of Postpartum Better. If you're inspired by this conversation to help yourself or another mom navigate life after birth, take a minute to leave me a review on Apple Podcast, and then share this episode with someone who could use the virtual hug. The health and happiness of the world resides in us mamas, and I'm so proud to be doing Postpartum Better with you. Until next week, with care, Chelsea.