chelsea barbine (00:00.366)
Hi, mamas. Today we're sitting down with the co-founder of the Money Girls, Becca Gonzalez, for a much anticipated, and requested, I'll add, conversation about the financial responsibility of having a baby. Together, we talk about the number one sign someone is not financially ready for parenthood, the essential financial questions to discuss with your partner before becoming parents, Becca's two-list financial planning strategy for those expecting.

how to build a customized emergency fund for your family's unique needs, how our childhood money experiences can shape our adult financial decisions, and some of the unexpected expenses of raising a child. Whether you're days away from welcoming your first or wondering when's the right time for your second, this episode is full of practical advice to ease some of that last minute panic and support you and even your partner's relationship with money.

Trust me when I tell you this is a juicy one. You're not gonna wanna miss it.

chelsea barbine (01:10.248)
Welcome to Postpartum Better, the go-to podcast for expecting a new mom's navigating life after birth. Hi, I'm Chelsea Barbine, wife, mama, yogi, postpartum health coach, and your new mama friend. Together, we're covering topics like postpartum recovery, maintaining your mental and emotional health, finding your identity as a new mom, and rekindling your relationships. Get ready for expert tips

actionable advice and heartfelt conversations with other moms who just get it. The health and happiness of the world resides in us mamas. It's time to postpartum better.

chelsea barbine (01:55.534)
Becca, I am like geeking out to be talking with you today. Can I just admit that? Well, one, the topic, but also two, I think kind of creeping on you. Sorry, I literally just ran from the bathroom. My 10 o'clock went like a little over and I was like, I have to pee. Like pros and cons of the 40 ounces. Wait, they're matching colors. Yeah. I love it. It goes with everything. I know.

Anyways, topic, yes, but then also I've been like kind of creeping on your Instagram because one of my neighbor friends had posted that she was like doing something with you or like reading a course or like a book. I don't know. And I was just like, okay, what's happening here? And she's a fellow entrepreneur. And I was just like, okay, Katie says that this is something to look into. So then that's when I started following you guys. And this topic has been

so hot for listeners. They're like, let's talk about like the real real of having children. So thanks for coming on and like also like no pressure, but I feel like you're like up for the challenge, you know? Well, I'm excited. Yeah. So I'm, I was actually a teacher before this. And so like for me, this is a podcast or a space where I kind of get to be a teacher still without a lesson plan.

Yeah, it's like fun teaching. Wait, so you were a teacher, right? Tell us like what, this is like an interesting jump, but also like clearly something that you were very passionate about because I feel like you have to be passionate to want to be a teacher. That's a whole nother conversation for like a different podcast probably, but like, can you tell us about that transition? Because I find that so fascinating.

I wanted to be a teacher since I was a little kid. Like I was the girl who was playing classroom when we had like imaginative play. And I love school supplies, all the things. And so I actually went to school for criminology because I kind of like chickened out. And I got a job in a courthouse with being like a basically for all intents and purposes, a youth probation officer. And it was terrible.

chelsea barbine (04:19.661)
It was awful. was depressing. was like, can't and I'm 21. Like it, it, was the worst job I've ever had and I've had a lot of jobs. And so I, I quit and I came home and I worked at a bank for a while. I worked doing insurance. Like I was just working and I thought I have to go back. I have to try being a teacher because otherwise I'll get to the end of my life and be like, why didn't I just shoot for the

like the goals that I had. So I went back in, was I like 20? I was like 28, you guys. I was really close to 30. And it was like, job change. I went back to school. I got a job as a teacher. I worked for about seven years as a teacher and I had my son and I was like, I can't keep giving all of this energy to these kids and these parents and this administration. I have nothing left for him at the end of the day. And so I quit.

and I had no idea how I was gonna pay for bills and stuff. And I had $90,000 of debt and it was just like, know, stuff. cards, student loans, I had a home improvement loan, like just a bunch of stuff stacked on top of each other. And my husband and I had only been married for like a year and I was a total psycho about money. Like the fact that we're still married eight years later is an actual miracle.

I mean, just in general, like you're coming up on a decade of being married. I know. That's a big deal. It's wild. I think it is at least. I'm like, I hope you guys are celebrating, especially with your kid, you know, kids. But I don't know. just, I became crazy with money and I was yelling at him over literal $1 spending sprees that he went on. I mean $1. And I could tell that I was just ruining our marriage.

And I thought, have to get control of this or we're not gonna be married anymore. Forget the money part. Like I'm not gonna have a partner anymore. And so we sat down that weekend and I asked him what was important to him. I told him what was important to me. And it turns out he needed spending money. He was like, I have to feel like I can spend and I have to feel like we can go on vacation and eat out and do things. And if we're not doing that, like what's the point?

chelsea barbine (06:42.206)
And it's kind of like he hit me over the head with it. And I was like, yeah, I don't know. What's the point? I don't have an answer for you. So we just created a money plan that worked for both of us. So he could have some spending money so we could go out to eat, so we could go on vacation when we wanted to. And I started telling my friends and family about like, this is working so much better for us. We have such a great relationship. Like, it feels fun talking about money. And I started creating plans for them.

and then they would send a friend and I would create a plan for them. And it was just like, honestly, over the eight years or I guess it was five years, it just turned into a business. And now I only work with women because women want to do so much with money and the getting started part is the only thing that holds them back. And so once they know what to do with the money and that they're capable of making decisions with money, then there's literal

Like there's nothing that can stop them at that point. goosebumps. I'm like, yes. It's so interesting. First of all, I want to go back to sharing about wanting to be a teacher. I was like pointing to myself like, yes, that was me. And it's so funny. I actually feared becoming a teacher and then not wanting to have children. And so then I didn't go the education path. I like was on it. And then like probably sophomore year of college, I was like, like I was like.

pivot, I'm like ticketing out, I'm not doing it. And then I ended up setting, you know, communications and marketing and here we are, which I definitely took a lot of that, but similarly had paths that I took to ultimately get myself here. And it's so interesting how both of us are sharing in this very significant, I'll say very pivotal life.

experience that we have been through that now has us in a place of supporting other people because we have found something that has worked for us, right? These methods, these plans. And then now we're just like, everyone needs to know this because life doesn't have to be like this. can actually call me crazy, be enjoyable and like, easy and fun. my gosh. Yes. mean, it's challenging. Don't get me wrong, you know, but that that's life. Life is challenging. don't know.

chelsea barbine (09:03.09)
I'm like having a flashback to Boy Meets World where it's like life's tough or life's hard, get a helmet. Like, I don't know. Is that eight? I feel like that's kind of aging me. But thank you so much for sharing that. It's so interesting. My husband and I, at the time when we were dating, it was before we had moved in together, right? We too were in this place of like, all right, we've got this debt and like kind of we wanted to be

forward thinking for like our future. was like, my God, this guy, we're gonna be together longer than three months. Like, this is great. Like that was like my curse. We still laugh about it to this day. Here we are almost a decade together and I just like giggle all the time. thinking back to those days, he read the Dave Ramsey book and it was like the price and beads, know? And yes, so that was the approach that we took. And I remember, although we kind of like...

We finessed it, you we found a way that worked for us, but we did that path for a solid two years. And it was like, we did not have nearly the level of debt, Becca, like 90K. I'm like, whoo, like you read those stories though in his book and you're like, if they can do it, I can easily do it with like 40 grand. Like it's no problem. But it was still, we were like single income still at the time. And that was the thing for me of like, if we can go into this marriage without the debt.

what possibilities will we have. And then ultimately life happens. You buy a home, you buy a car for the family, you decide you wanna have kids. And it's like, I remember even before we had our daughter thinking, is it financially responsible to have a child right now? Like, what does that look like? I loved what I was doing at the time. I didn't wanna become a stay at home mom. I wanted to stay in corporate and create content and support others on their wellness journey.

So then that meant that we would need, you know, childcare. And I think there's just like so much that goes into deciding that like you feel quote unquote ready to have a child and just like can be afford childcare, right? There's like so many different factors. But I really do think that something that holds so many couples back from making that transition into this chapter are finances. And I would love to chat with you about that. Like, do you think...

chelsea barbine (11:19.446)
We're gonna just dive right in. Do you really think that a couple can truly be ready financially to start a family? It's a really hard question to answer definitively. However, I will say, if you're already arguing about money, please do not add a child to that equation. The stress of raising a human being and keeping them alive and keeping your mental sanity at the same time.

and having arguments or disagreements about money is, it's almost impossible. And so if you've already started that way, don't, now's probably not the time to have a child. And I'm just, I just say that from seeing other people. I've seen it so many times. But the other thing is you could start right now having a better relationship together about money. You could start today.

And it's literally just sitting down and saying, you know, what do you want to spend money on? Where do you want us to be? Sometimes five years is too long. Where do you want us to be a year from now? What's a good timeline? What's a good timeline that you feel is good to have a baby or, you know, to like expand our family? I think it's sitting down and asking questions because as women in our home, we tend to take over the decision making of the home and that

We feel comfortable doing that for the most part. When it comes to finances, I've seen it over and over. Usually the husband is the one who manages the finances. And so there's this weird, whether or not the wife works, there's this weird dynamic of like,

chelsea barbine (13:01.858)
We're not on the same page with money. We don't have the same goals with money. We don't have the same values of spending money. And so that's where the arguments come. So finances ruining marriages, it's not actually the money. It's the communication around money that is ruining marriages. And so if you can find a way to communicate in a really healthy way, then you are well on your way to being ready to have a baby or expand your family. And I'll just say like,

There's no best time to have a baby. I was a North Carolina school teacher. I was making nothing. My husband was an entry level employee at the time. He was making absolutely nothing. We had no business having a baby. And yet, because we were on the same page with money, we decided, I mean, I was in my early 30s. So like, I felt like I kind of had to get started if I want to get started.

We just knew we had the same values. We wanted a family. We were okay sacrificing some things for the short term in order to be able to do that. And then I didn't quit my job lightly. It was, we had conversation after conversation after conversation. Like what will it look like? How will it impact us? What will we have to give up? What will we have to change and adjust? And once we were comfortable with what was gonna happen and how we were gonna deal with it, that's when I was like, okay, it's time.

and we felt comfortable. There was no arguing around it. I mean, we still sit down and have disagreements about money. Like, I don't want to spend money there. Well, I do. Well, tell me why. And it comes down to emotions almost all of the time. And so for women, if we let our emotions drive our decision making with money, that's where we get into trouble. If we attach our emotions to the end goal,

that's where we want your emotions. So don't take them all the way out. They are a tool that you can use. Like you are given those emotions for a reason. Use them and use them to your benefit. Wow, so beautiful. I don't know if I answered both of your questions. I think you did, honestly. There's a piece of me that's like, whew, so there's not a quote unquote like amount.

chelsea barbine (15:19.544)
for someone to really be striving for, right? It's like actually having those conversations and agreeing on really the end emotion, the end goal. It's not even about like in the present moment. I mean, you probably utilize that, right? To help create the plan to like reach the end goal. But I was not expecting that answer. I really thought you were gonna be like, well, statistically speaking. So you threw me for a loop. Personal experience.

My children cost me each $5,000 leaving the hospital. So, and that was just leaving the hospital, $5,000 a piece, not expecting that at all because we had insurance, like what the heck. But it, and it might be more expensive today. That was, my last baby was five years ago. And so the thing that I will tell you is if you can go into any situation in your marriage when it deals with money, expanding your family,

Going on vacation like going after some giant financial goal, whatever it is that you're doing together You have to have two lists at all times The first list is what we call your value list. And so each of you separately Create like a list of maybe five things that you really value spending money on and this is where like we don't have buyers remorse It makes me feel so happy. It makes me feel accomplished. Whatever whatever the the goal is for you

And then you come together and see if there's anything that matches on that list. And you compromise, which is so hard for type A people like me, like just do it my way. And like just come up with a list that suits both of you. So that's your first list, your value list. Where do you actually value spending money? Is that where you're spending your money? Is that where the tension's coming from? And the other list that you have to have at all times is your priority list. So these are the things like

Value list is kind of everyday spending. Priorities is like number one priority, we want another baby. Second priority, we want to fix the house up. Third priority, we want to go on vacation. Fourth, we want to save for kids college, whatever those goals are for you, your priorities, and know that those priorities will move around. They will shift depending on your season of life. They might even come off the list altogether and be replaced by something else.

chelsea barbine (17:45.0)
In the situation where you're deciding to have a baby, deciding to expand your family, that priority probably bumps up, the baby priority bumps up to the top of the list. And that's where all your spending goes. That's where all your resources go. That's where all of your energy goes. And when you've had the baby or you feel comfortable with that, then you get to move something else to the top of the list. So that one's ever changing.

your value list could change depending on the season of your life, depending on, you know, your age, your maturity. And, gosh, ours has changed so much. Like my husband's value used to, loves clothes. He loves to shop and like for clothes for him. He actually really likes to shop for clothes for the kids too. But I was like, we, you got to chill on the clothes. Like at the end of the, our life, are you going to say, God, I wish I had that jean jacket.

Like, no, I know I'm not gonna say that. So it's just putting things in perspective. This just reminded me of something my mom told me growing up. And it was, is this gonna matter in 10 minutes? Maybe, I don't know. Is this gonna matter in 10 days? Probably not. Is it gonna matter in 10 months? I'm gonna forget about this like it never happened. Is it gonna matter in 10 years? I won't.

ever remember this blip in time in 10 years from now. So if, even if that's like a sleep on it policy, we have a sleep on it policy in this house. You want something, if it's a large purchase, we're gonna sleep on it. We might sleep on it for a week. You're laughing at it. It's just a checks and balances and it's so, I'm a steamroller in this house. I call myself a steamroller. Like if you're in the way and I'm on a mission, you're gonna get steamrolled.

And I have to really watch that because my husband is very passive. He's very like, okay, whatever you want to do. And I don't want him to feel like he doesn't have choices. I don't want him to feel like I've dictated everything that happened. So if that's where the value list was created for us and the priority list, I have different priorities than him. wants different, he wants travel is his main priority. And I would be okay giving that up for a couple of years to get some things done around the house that I really feel.

chelsea barbine (20:08.812)
You know, we live here. I want to feel comfortable here. It's just ever changing. And if you can change your financial goals and the way that you communicate about money with your season of life, you will never, never be a statistic about finances and marriage. Well, you might be the good kind.

I'm hoping for the good kind, you know. No, that's so interesting, you know, to really like, it sounds so silly, like, well duh, of course, like values and priorities, being different from husband to wife. But I'll even say our strengths, like my husband, Colin and I, he is very much of like the long-term financial planner. And I'm great on like the month to month, like the budgeting perspective. And that being said, sometimes, even though we both like we both break that,

which is great together, we're like golden, so to speak. We also sometimes see things very differently because I think, ooh, immediate impact. And he's also thinking long-term. And I think a lot of what I have brought into our relationship

And I try to be very mindful with children, know, and passing things down is like a very, like a scarcity mindset when it comes to money. And I think so much of how we were raised and our own family dynamics is something that we really reflect on and we sit with when we are starting our own family. And even, even before that, just when we become in relation with someone and like, it's very serious, you don't even have to be married, right? As soon as you're like sharing finances with someone, not even like bank accounts.

But like you're just sharing contribution responsibility. It's like, can bring up a lot for people. Yeah. And our childhoods were like very different. And so it's just so interesting. Yeah. To like bring those to the table. And I appreciate you really calling out the communication piece and it really not being about money. It's the communication because that is one thing. I was actually being interviewed for this magazine a couple of weeks ago and it was like, what are like, what is a

chelsea barbine (22:16.824)
quality that you feel has really served you as an entrepreneur. I'm like, really think communication has been big for me. And I say that not just as an entrepreneur, but truly in life, as a friend, as a daughter, as a wife, as a mom, it's just so interesting. And when you really look at it from that perspective, it's like, gosh, well, duh. It's not about the money, because money is just, I don't know, we put value to it. But is money really

anything without the value behind it. Right. Or about the relationship behind it. if you are, if you are happily married and money is the one thing that you guys can never agree on, it's that part of your relationship needs to be fixed, not the actual money. And so I am no therapist, but I will tell you the way that I was raised with money, like

clearly impacts my decision making, even to this day, even though rationally I can think, okay, I'm having this thought because I was told this growing up, I can rationally stop myself from thinking that now, but when we were first married, that was not a thing. And so when he spent a dollar on a drink at work, I was furious because I had a plan for that dollar and you took that plan away from me and like, I don't know how to readjust. And it was, we were following Dave Ramsey also and it was very black and white.

followed it to a T. And so he was raised in a family where they spent money. Like if they needed something fixed, they called a person that day and had it fixed. I was raised in a family where my dad's an architect and he was like, we can do it ourselves. Let's save some money. Let's put away as much money as you can just in case. And it wasn't, when I was first doing this, I thought it was scarcity mentality.

And that's not actually what it was at all. It was them preparing for what could happen. But then I realized they spent a lot of money. They just spent it where they wanted it. If you go in their house, it is not decorated. They don't give a flying flip about their house being decorated, but they do care about their kids being cultured and going to different countries and traveling and things like that. And that's what we did.

chelsea barbine (24:35.382)
in our childhood. they spent money, but they spent it on the things that they really cared about. And so when Mondo and I were coming together, it was like, dude, you like just, you fling money around. Like this is really uncomfortable for me. And we did the Dave Ramsey plan. And so we were kind of on the same page with money. We realized each other's habits and the way that we grew up. And then I realized once I had kids and they were old enough to talk, I was like,

my gosh, everything I say, they are soaking it up. Everything I say, I have to be careful what I say because I don't want them to have scarcity with money. And so I'll give you an example. Last year, my kids are both in dance and not last year, but the year before we got really in, it was a terrible year for us, but we were in the habit of leaving dance and picking up food on the way home.

And so they knew on Tuesdays we get food and we go home. Well, last year we started and I was like, guys, we're not gonna get food. We're gonna pack food to eat in the car. And my son was furious. He was like, but we always get food after dance. And I said, yeah, I know. I had to pull the car over and explain to him, you love going and ride roller coasters, right? Yeah, you love going swimming with your friends. Yeah.

You love going to the trampoline park with daddy sometimes, right? Yeah. Would you rather spend your money there or McDonald's tonight? And he was fine at the time and he goes, well, I would definitely rather ride roller coasters with that money. And I was like, that's what we're doing. We're choosing to spend our money, not at McDonald's, but at Carowinds this weekend. And my five year old understood it. And so if five year olds can get the like,

I'm choosing to spend it here instead of this place that I've always spent it. But we as adults make it so much harder and it's not that hard. That is a great example. Thank you for sharing that. Well, you're welcome. And I don't really know what came over me that night, but I knew I could not say to him, we don't have the money. We did have the money.

chelsea barbine (26:54.016)
I don't want to spend it there. That's the real answer. And so being very open with them, age appropriately, obviously, being very open with them about how you're making your money decisions will impact them so much better than you just saying like, you better save, you better save, you better do this, you better do that. Like show them how you make money decisions and that will stick with them a lot longer. You've already started the ripple effect with your kids, whether you recognize it or not, the ripple effect

is already started and you have the opportunity to change whether that's a positive or a negative ripple effect with money. So yeah, no, that's something we've been talking a lot about lately. You know, our daughter, she's going to be two in July and I swear she understands so much more than sometimes she leads on. But like those facial expressions when I'm asking her to please not do something and she's just looking at me, she's like in her little toddler state.

tower like standing at the end of the other end of the island just like looking up at me and I'm like the thoughts running through my head I'm like you are me when I was your age like my god and I was a great kid I'm not saying that she's bad quote-unquote or anything like that but just this clear essence of like independence and determined yes

like she is a tried and true Leo just like her mother and I'm like, dear goodness, my husband, bless him. Both of us women, both Leos in the home. But it is so interesting of how mindful you do become when they are at that age where they really are able to communicate or at least they're able to understand. I do believe that we are energetically connected. like, we'll hear for just a second guys, humor me, but.

I do believe that our children, even as newborns, they pick up on so much. It's not like directly communicated with them verbally, but there is a different way that we transfer how we are feeling and what we're going through onto them. And with that being said, we just try to be so mindful of the way that we talk about certain things, because again, how we were both raised is we were raised differently. I remember in my homes that I grew up in, my parents were divorced.

chelsea barbine (29:13.186)
talking about money was like more so negative than positive. And again, I think a lot of the way that I think about money or the fears that I have around money, a lot of the things that I try to preemptively talk about with my husband just because I like, I'm so like, I don't want to go that direction, right? I like would want to reset the course. It's just, it's so, so interesting. Goodness. And I love, I want to dig into something here you had shared.

the activities, right, with your son as you were explaining. Something that came up with a neighbor friend of mine recently, her son is now in kindergarten this year. She's like, I can't believe he's gonna graduate in June. Like, all the things. And I'm like, wow, how does that feel? He's starting to ride a bike without training wheels. It's like wild. And she had shared, one thing that no one warns you, and daycare should really send you in your little exit packet, is summer camps, don't forget.

I feel like there, that is just one example of like unexpected cost. That even mortgage payment because you're gonna need it for summer. That like come up with kids, like you would even said you spent five grand with each of yours even before leaving the hospital. I remember we like got our bill back and like, I don't even remember what it was, but we kind of like were warned by like some of my husband's colleagues that had just had children very recently of like, hey, PS, you're gonna get a bill. And I was like, wait,

hospitals and the bill like, I didn't know it costs money. Like, I that's why we paid to insurance. But there's also so many other things that go into the benefits of having children financially, like on your taxes and things like that. Can you share high level, just a few things, you don't have to share all of your secrets with us, but just a few things that you wish those who were expecting or like new parents that you really wish that they knew.

going into having kids, one being like the be prepared for this expense, and then also like, but here's a really great perk, so like make sure you look into this further. And looking into that could be connecting with you, or it could be doing research, whatever. I've been really fortunate. When I quit my job as a teacher, I got to keep my kids at home with me. So I don't know what childcare costs feels like personally, however.

chelsea barbine (31:39.694)
I have friends who are spending like $1,800 a month on childcare, which is absolutely deplorable. Like the fact that in this country we spend so much money on just like taking care of our kids. It shouldn't be that way. Childcare is, before you even have kids, you need a childcare plan. Because all of the places in Charlotte, I'm in Charlotte, North Carolina, you are on like a two year waiting list.

for childcare and then you have to pay an arm and a leg for that. So if you're thinking about having a child or another child, start researching childcare now. One thing that I didn't do, was, with my son it was like everything has to be exactly the way that I want it to be because that's how gonna raise my child. When my daughter was born it was like someone please come over here and help me. Like I don't know what I'm doing.

This is way harder than it was the first time. So it was like, anybody, everybody come help me. And then the world shut down for COVID. So I was stuck here with two kids. My husband was gone to work and I was like, what am I supposed to do? So I had a couple of friends who have kids the same, relatively the same age. And we would start doing kid swaps once in a while because I would get a day by myself and they were fine with the kids for, you know, like five or six hours. And then we would swap.

that's an option if you feel comfortable, if you have somebody that you feel comfortable trading with, I use my parents a lot. they're two miles down the road and I'm like, I, I need help. So I've been really fortunate. Childcare has not necessarily been something that I've had to deal with. I do. I do help other women, figure that out. Sometimes it's just a challenging puzzle. it's not, it's not a black and white answer for everybody.

But when you have kids, when you're married even, expect the unexpected. You have to be flexible. Things are gonna come up. They're gonna outgrow the clothes that you literally just bought last week. They're gonna outgrow them next week at some point in their childhood. And you're gonna buy an entire new wardrobe two weeks later. Just expect that things are gonna pop up. My son has asthma and we spent a year in and out of the emergency rooms trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Those bills just kept.

chelsea barbine (34:07.982)
and coming and coming, but like you have to take your kid to the emergency room when they can't breathe. So you never know what's gonna come. You have to expect the unexpected. And that's where emergency funds come in. If you don't have an emergency fund, that is your very first step. I will not tell you how much on this podcast, but I will tell you here questions that I ask clients all the time. Are you married? If the answer is yes, you need more. Do you have an older car? If the answer is yes.

You need more. Do you have kids? You need more. Do you have a job that is kind of like unstable sometimes? You need more than what people say you do. So I err on the caution of like a year of emergency fund. And I know that feels extreme. But two years ago, I had to use every penny of that emergency fund. entire, I mean, we drained it down to zero over the course of a year. Every appliance in this house broke. Our cars needed repair.

Max was in and out of the emergency room and it was just like, well, thank God we have it. But also there comes this like weird, I don't want to use that. I worked so hard to save that and just recognize that if you do have an emergency fund and you do have to use it for actual emergencies or things that come up, that's what it's there for. That's the whole point. It's your safety net. If you don't have a safety net before you have kids, work hard to get one. I say work hard.

Work smart. We're not going to kill ourselves. We're going to work really smart and allocate the money that we need to. It's all about having a plan. And so the minute that you are caught without a plan, your brain starts doing this weird thing where it's like, this is really bad. This is really bad. You're in a really bad spot. And then you start spiraling and expecting to have make a decision, a good decision with money in a place of spiral is you're not going to.

Literally my whole belief on why core care cults fate exist Like 1000 % without having a plan for that transition to life after birth When you are in the trenches of sleep deprivation not understand. Yes, I don't like the like The list goes on how can you? reasonably and understandably like

chelsea barbine (36:33.856)
make a decision that is best for not only your baby, but yourself who is the one caring for that baby. So I appreciate you sharing that. And I will say, that's not to promise that with a plan, any plan, whether it's postpartum, financial or childcare, that things aren't going to surprise you. similarly in our area,

there is a wait list for childcare. And I remember we started touring, my goodness, probably January, we were due in July. And I thought like we were good, like we started like early and they were like, okay, so like we could probably have her start and you know, like we can accept her in July. And I'm like, great. And they're like, I'm 20, 23. And I was like, that's a whole year after she's born, like what? And we ended up getting into what

one of the spots that we were very hopeful for. They were Montessori focused and found out no joke, like a couple of months before I was due, that they had to release their infant care offering because they didn't have staff. So like, it's not even just like the potential wait list or now staffing issues being really big, but also something to be mindful of you guys is like, to Becca's point, expecting the unexpected.

our kids get sick, especially when they are with a lot of other kids, they're exposed to more with their when they're with other adults are out of the home. That's not to scare anyone and say, don't allow your child to live life. And by it's realistic that there was a lot of days when I was like, hey, guys can't make this meeting need to log off early or my husband and I were trying to figure out like

here we are paying for childcare, but like, is she really there to be cared for? Like she's home right now, you know, like for two weeks she's been on and off and the ear infections and the doctor, it is a lot, you know? But I will say it's great guys, have kids, know? No, I feel, but I do, I always like to warn people that like even when you do have the plan and you think that you're like ahead of the game, things do still happen. But what I will say is,

chelsea barbine (38:48.266)
And to Becca's point, when you have a plan, there's just you're better equipped to pivot and to like respond versus react from like this more bogged down headspace, which I think is of most importance for us all. And those are really good warnings, especially the close phase. I can feel that so deeply right now. my God. We haven't yet entered into the phase of like the produce budget. We're like creeping up there. We've like very much struggled.

with food, it's been like a very sore subject for me literally since she was probably three days old and I had a very uncomfortable interaction with a lactation consultant in the hospital but that's another conversation for another episode. We can have that conversation another day because I also did. My God. But one thing, although we're not buying produce up the ass, we buy pouches to no end and I love my daughter, she's a great eater when it comes to

purees, but those things are like 450 a pop. And that's for one pouch. Mind you, we choose exactly to your point earlier, we choose how we spend our money. And one of our values is our wellness, like our health and wellness. And a priority for us has always been food. That was always something that my husband and I have always been on the same page with of like, we will always seek that.

right in hopes of avoiding other things down the road, right? So if we get ahead of it, yeah, we might spend more money at a grocery store. But then if we ourselves are not incurring those unexpected, you know, office visits or medications down the road, then it was money well spent kind of thing to be determined, right? We're like still very fresh in this, especially with a child and we're still young ourselves. But I do like to think that it has served us well to this point. What?

are your tidbits for those listening. And again, it doesn't have to be all of your secrets, but like your, I wish you knew this from a financial perspective as far as a benefit goes when having children. And one of them, like really hoping you say taxes because that's one thing that has happened for us, but it's not as much as people told me that it was gonna happen. So what's going on with that? For us having kids was an okay tax break.

chelsea barbine (41:10.862)
But it has not impacted us significantly, so I almost always skim over that. But that's just because of my personal experiences. I also know families who have really good tax breaks because of kids. But here's the thing.

Waiting for some day, waiting for when you get pregnant, waiting for when you have the baby, waiting for when the baby's one, when the baby's... That is only going to delay your financial success and your capabilities with money. And I want especially moms or expecting moms or aspiring moms to know you are capable today to make decisions with your money. You are smart enough.

You are, you're so much more capable than you give yourself credit for. And you have to be part of the conversation with your husband about money. If you are not, you have to be. There is no question about it. This isn't, I do the finances in this family and also my husband and I have conversations about this all the time because I want to make sure the plan that I'm like creating for us is still aligned with both of our values.

You have to be part of the money conversation. I don't know. 1974 was the very first year that women could get bank accounts and credit cards. That's wild. Actually, it may have been 1988. No, that's not right. My mom was born 1974. We'll stick with that. But like that wasn't that long ago. My mom was a grown woman, a grown woman. And so like we have so much catching up to do in

the area of feeling comfortable with money, talking about money, handling money, making decisions with money, talking to other people about money. We have so much more room to grow and take those steps now because it's only going to get easier and you want your daughter to be able to talk about money and to feel comfortable with money and you want her daughter to feel comfortable and be able to stand on her own two feet and then when she meets somebody great they can come together but like

chelsea barbine (43:26.196)
I was raised to be very independent. don't know if that's evident today or not. like, I don't want to be taken care of necessarily, but I do want someone who is there with me, like in the trenches with me.

I don't, again, I don't even know if I answered your question, but.

chelsea barbine (43:48.158)
You did in a way, you really did. think all in all, it's, I'll say you answered really the most important question of when do you think or is it possible for a couple to feel financially confident to starting a family and or growing a family? And I think it all lends back to it's bio individual.

It's dependent upon each person, each family unit. And ultimately, the most important thing is for couples to remember that they need to be on the same page and that nothing is truly set in stone. Guys, let's just pause like nothing in life is set in stone. So like nothing in finances are surely not set in stone. And you really gave such great advice on things to be mindful of that may pop up. And I think

all in all, unsettling as the conversation of finances can be, truly a reminder of how important it is for us all to be part of that conversation and to truly understand it in and of itself and what that means for our home. And it's really exciting. You had shared, you know, that that fun fact of when women were able to start opening up their own bank accounts and it's wild to think about

how much has happened since then and while it doesn't, again, I like always forget guys, it's 2024. Like I feel like it's still like, you know, 2012 or something ridiculous. I'm like, what? Since when? So while when I remind myself of the actual year, it's like, that has been some time. It also hasn't been that much time. Yeah. Like there are people who are still living who were born that year or who are even well, as you said, your mom, like grown women at that point in time. So

It really is to put into perspective how much has happened. And I do believe how much growth and how much potential is to come for this opportunity for us women. So Becca, thank you so much for coming on to share all of your nuggets. I do have a very selfish and personal question. You said you primarily help like women, right? But I took a lot of our conversation given the focus on like households and families, but I want to confirm you do also support

chelsea barbine (46:13.066)
entrepreneurs, correct? Yes. So when we when I first started this business, it was moms who wanted to get out of debt. And then I started a bit when I started my actual business, I was like, my gosh, nobody's teaching women how to do business finances, like what to do with them, how they translate to your personal, how are they interconnected. And so I went really hard down business, female business owners. And what happened along the way was

Women were like, I don't own a business, but I need help. I don't own a business. I don't ever want to own a business. I work in corporate, but I need help. And so we've kind of opened it back up to like, if you're a woman and you need help with money, like come in, sit down, let's have a conversation. But we love, love working with business owners because it's just fun. Business finances are more fun than personal finances. I'm just going to say.

my gosh, that makes one of us. I'm like, that is why I did not want to start my own business. And I was resistant for so long. was like, you know what? I'm just going keep on this corporate path. Maybe one day I'll make it happen. But like, it's too much for me right now. I ask because one, obviously, I do own my own business, Hence why we're here today. But also because I have found such a crossover. And I do believe mothers are

really made entrepreneurs like you down. The skill sets that we learn in motherhood are so transferable to owning your own business. And again, it's just being from that creative space, right? Creating from the womb of humans, but then also to services, offerings, products, et cetera. So for those listening who to fall into both buckets know that Becca is a resource as well. I do want to wrap with one final question and then we'll get to your plugs. And when I say your plugs, like

Give us like, this is your time to promote the shit out of yourself, okay? So don't hold back. Okay. Cause we'll know if you happen. Cause we've heard your personality this entire time. What is one thing that you wish every mom knew in the motherhood journey? In the motherhood journey, not the money journey. I hate to say this. It's so beautiful and it is so fun.

chelsea barbine (48:35.286)
and it is so freaking hard, you will be pushed to your limits that you did not even know you had. You're gonna be pushed to your limits of capabilities, your limits of thinking, your communication, and it's gonna be so incredible when you find those limits because then you get to expand even more. And the more that you get to expand, the more your children get to expand. And what I have found is just being a model as a woman running your household,

or helping to run your household, your modeling of just growing and evolving and becoming this person who just like can do things rubs off on your husband and rubs off on your mom and your dad and your aunts and your uncles and your friends. Like you become a different person and that's the point. That's the point of having kids. You become a different person and that's okay. That's what's supposed to happen when you have kids.

Like, don't be afraid to change, to pivot, move in a different direction. And it is freaking okay to change your mind. I can't see junk all the time now. My son was sugar free until he was 12 months old. And now I'm like, go get a snack, I don't care.

As long as it's not a handful of chocolate, I don't care what you eat right now. You're like, unless it's a holiday or a Friday. Or a Friday. We made it. my gosh, I love that. Welcome to the true, like, the group that believes that there is no such thing as bouncing back. I believe that we're forever postpartum. I believe that every child that we have, we rebirth ourselves. So beautifully put, so beautifully aligned.

Now, I feel like everyone listening, myself included, I love listening and learning alongside the audience. Give us the spiel. How can we learn more? How can we follow you? You have your own podcast, give us the deets. so our podcast, if you listen to it from the very beginning, right now, it's called rated R for revenue, we are thinking about changing the name because it is very business minded. Currently, the name anyway, the first like

chelsea barbine (50:47.182)
47 episodes are very business minded. Our story and the principles are take them. Like even if you think it's just for business, take them and use them in your personal household. We are shifting more to lots of personal finances because we find even if you own a business, your personal finances are what is killing your success in your business or making you feel unsuccessful in business. So the podcast is like the perfect place to start.

It's free and we're like really candid and we have a lot of fun like finances can be really fun If I'm not having fun, I don't want any part of it. So the podcast is a great place to start We have a challenge that's only $27 and it is Finding the money that you already make that you can use to your financial goals. So it's a different way of thinking about money We also have a custom debt plan. That's $97

where you give us your numbers and your goals and your timeline and we create a plan for you. Like do this first, do this second, do this third, and by X amount of time if you follow this you'll be out of debt. Those are fun for me because that's where I started. My journey was like debt plan for myself. And then if you own a business we have private coaching and we also have a group program called Mind Her Business where you get to come in and like.

talk with other business owners, ask us questions. Once your money is under control, then we shift to like, okay, well, how can your business make more money or be more profitable or maximize what you have in your business? So you have more money in your personal life. So there's a lot, we have a lot going on. I love this. And there will be more, I'm sure. Absolutely. There's so much more to come. When did you start creating all these offerings?

This business has only officially been around for three years. Holy shit. Yeah. But unofficially, I've been helping people with this for a while. Yes. like, I, again, as a content creator, as a business owner that understands what goes into creating things, marketing things, the systems of getting things, making sure people can log in, people can pay, like cultivating the groups, these live group coaching. I'm like,

chelsea barbine (53:07.778)
Dang. I do not do this alone.

I'm very creative. come up with ideas. I'm like, I see a gap. We need to fill it. These women need this. Here's my vision. And Marlee, my business partner, will be like, great. I have ideas for tech. I have ideas for back end. And I'm like, go sister. And we also have a VA who's like really in it with us. She's been with me for the whole three years. I literally could not do this by myself. It would be a hot mess. You would be like, I'm not, I'm not gonna get help from that girl.

Yes, and there's so much that goes into partnerships, though, give yourselves credit for that too. for also, you know, managing a team or co co managing a team, whatever your dynamic is. And because truly as a one woman show, lol pun intended for the show, as well as just business in general. I started this technically business as of January of this year. What?

So like the podcast started before it started back in November, but like I get it. And it's also like, but also, you know, we're it's still so early in like iterations of things. And I'm like constantly going back in and like, let me just get something out there. Let me get the feedback, the testing and everything. And then making the tweaks. It's just, then you got to make the tweaks and then like market again. It's like the cycle that keeps going. So, but you also have permission to change your mind in your business also.

And that's what we've done. We went hard down just women with businesses and for like a year and a half, two years, we couldn't, I air quote that, help the women who didn't own a business. And I was like, this is crazy. There are more women who don't have a business than there are women who do. And we have to be able to serve both of them in some capacity. So the entry level to get in with us is so low. We are moms, we are both moms, we both own businesses, we have husbands.

chelsea barbine (55:08.856)
houses, dogs, responsibilities, we have all the things and we know how heavy money can weigh on you. So when you know your numbers and you have a plan, not only do you get all that mental space back that you probably don't even know you've been using all day, every day, you sleep better, you make better decisions, you make clearer and faster decisions, and we have to be able to make fast decisions as women and as wives and as moms.

Mic drop right there. We'll just end it. Thank you so much. I so appreciate your time and I'm hopeful to connect again soon. Yes, thank you.

chelsea barbine (55:55.406)
Thank you for joining me for this episode of Postpartum Better. If you're inspired by this conversation to help yourself or another mom navigate life after birth, take a minute to leave me a review on Apple Podcast, and then share this episode with someone who could use the virtual hug. The health and happiness of the world resides in us mamas, and I'm so proud to be doing Postpartum Better with you. Until next week, with care, Chelsea.