Lost & Found: From Disassociation to Destination w/ Taja Morris

Most moms feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and unsure if they’re doing enough, until they hear a story like this.

In this powerful episode of Nailed It Motherhood, Taja Morris shares her raw journey from trauma, depression, and disconnection to true healing and self-care. Through personal loss, city-life chaos, and the deep bond with her children, she reveals what it really means to rebuild and redefine motherhood.

Taja opens up about postpartum depression, witnessing community violence, and the pivotal moments that forced her to pause and prioritize her mental health. Grounded in faith, nature, and purpose, she created Sisters with an Agenda, a space where women and moms can heal, grow, and support one another.

We also dive into practical ways to parent with intention, like honest communication, family meetings, and creating a safe space where kids feel seen, heard, and loved. Taja keeps it real, showing up fully, flaws and all.

This isn’t just a story about survival, it’s about rising, healing, and building a legacy rooted in love, authenticity, and purpose.

If you’re feeling depleted, craving connection, or ready to rewrite your motherhood story, this episode will meet you exactly where you are and remind you that your healing starts within.

Connect with Taja Morris:
Instagram: sisterswithanagenda_newpage

Located at: 6353 Germantown Ave., Philadelphia, Pa 19144

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:00

Do you wish somebody wrote down the recipe for your parenting challenges? Did you want tips and tricks to become a better mama for you and your babies? I know I do. If you're a mother who feels that you are doing the best you can with the hands you've been dealt, but you're still getting it done, then this podcast is for you. I'm so glad you tuned in to Nailed It Motherhood because we might have the recipe that nobody wrote down. A family, a job, etc., etc., etc. Well, you start a business, of course. Welcome back to another exciting episode of Nailed It Motherhood Podcast. I am your host with the most, Tamara Eldridge. We hope that you've been enjoying our journey so far. If you are new here, this is a place where we keep it real as we heal, as we grow, and as we laugh through storytelling and shared experiences. And today is no different. Today, we are talking to a dreamer and a doer, a mover and a shaker. This guest mama doesn't have small dreams, y'all. She dreams big and she dreams for others too. She has built a community centered on helping others grow their visions, and for years, that has been her mission. I am beyond honored to sit down and unpack some parenting revelations with our guest mama today because we met during a time when I needed to see sisters like me winning the most. She started as my coworker, quickly became my friend, and soon after became momspiration. She encouraged me through so much during my tough pregnancy. So, Village, please help me welcome to the Village Mike, my sister and my friend Tasha Morris. Hey beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Hey everybody. Can I say happy International Women's Day? You can say it. It won't be it whenever we release it, but it's sure. Well, perfect timing. We are recording on International Women's Day. So shout out to all the moms. Shout out to all the moms who are doing wonderful things because it takes a lot to be a woman and a mom.

SPEAKER_05 2:43

Yes, ma'am, it does. I'm so glad that you are here today. We have so much to unpack, and I'm just thrilled about your parenting journey. Um, I'm not gonna give anything about your parenting story because that is your personal story. But I am going to take a pause before we jump into your journey and go into my Javi tale because I wouldn't be a mom without my baby girl and her crazy stories. So today I want to talk to you a little bit about um, I'll call it the earth will be mad. My baby girl, she's a city girl, interestingly enough, born in the city, raised in the city, but goes to a school that really, really, really values the cultivation of the earth and really, really touches on respecting themselves and respecting the environment. So I'm in a relationship and my boyfriend has well had these huge trees in front of his house, and he decided that you know these trees were causing a lot of allergy issues, and these trees were really growing huge and growing out into the street. So um there was an opportunity for the trees to get chopped down, and so he got them chopped down. And Tavia was very emotionally wounded when she drove up to his house one day and saw that just one tree had been chopped down. She was so upset with me, like I did it, and she looked outside that window. We were still pulling up, looked outside the window, and she said, Why would they do that? Why would they cut the tree down? Mom, mom, the tree's cousin is going to be mad. Where is the what? Why did they cut the tree? Oh, she was hurt, and she went on and on and on for about seven minutes. By this time, she's still going. I picked up my phone and I'm scrolling because she really had a gripe that she had to get out of her system, and she told me the earth is gonna be mad at whoever cut that tree down. She just went on and on and on. Fast forward to the next time we came and we found out that the other two trees came down, and she was not happy about that either. And then I explained that I was going to hop on a call with my friend, and this was gonna be my Tavi tale, and she was in the other room, and I was talking to my boyfriend, and I said, I'm gonna share the story about the earth and how Tavia was very upset when the trees came down, and she was like, I'm so listening, ears and children and their cares. It's just very interesting that the city girl has so much care for the earth, and I love it to pieces. It's very, very cute, it's very, very um fun to watch her passion for these trees and the world and the earth. Um, I don't really know where she got it from because it wasn't from me, but bless her heart, and thank you so much for listening to my Tom Vale.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Sucks. That reminded me when I was a little girl. I came home and my tree was gone, and we were very upset. We were very upset. That was the neighborhood tree, so we we love that tree, and we were very upset for a very, very, very long time. Mainly still as an adult. We bring it up like dad, why would you cut down our tree? You know that was our tree. We all had different branches where our bedroom and y'all took our tree from us.

SPEAKER_05 6:35

It's hilarious, it's not funny. That's not funny. I'm not laughing at your trauma.

SPEAKER_01 6:39

We can't relate, I can relate to Tavi. I can relate.

SPEAKER_05 6:45

But no, I it's it's funny because when I told him that I was sharing this story today, he told me that one of the neighbors asked him, like, these bold kids, just why did you cut the tree down?

SPEAKER_00 6:59

Like, kid, who are you? Like, who are you talking to? That's how it was. The whole neighborhood, we we was upset. Why would you come cut this tree down? See, we climbed that tree, so it was a different love and bond that we had with that tree. Everybody had a branch in that tree, and they took our tree down. And I ain't even gonna get into why, but the trauma is still there. So I filled for little Tavi and her love for the trees because you know, when you love God, you love God's creation.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

So, you know, you don't don't have me over here and a pull on that momstring. You put God in her life, and you she knows that that is a connection to God. So, why would you do that? Don't do that, T. Don't do that.

SPEAKER_05 7:46

You know you ain't right over here laughing and chuckling at my baby.

unknown 7:50

Listen.

SPEAKER_05 7:53

Well, thank you for sharing your if your perspective of the tree cut down and listening to my segment of The Earth will be mad. This will be forever an imprint on Nailed at Motherhood Podcast, and Tavia will probably be very upset with me that I shared this, but it will be forever here for her to listen to when she gets older, and then she can come to you and vet whenever she's mad at me. So I appreciate you sharing your perspective and for listening to my story. But we are not here today for me. We are here because you have a story which we are calling your her story, and we want to hear how you have persevered with three babies. Yes, ma'am, three babies, and you are still doing the darn thing, your own business. You are crushing it, you are inspiring other women, and just you know, an all-around inspiration. So I'm gonna fall back, I'm gonna turn off my mic, and I would love to listen to your personal parenting journey so you have the floor.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Good evening, good evening. Um, my name is Tanja Morris, and I am the founder and owner of Sisters with the Agenda. Sisters with the Agenda actually relaunched because of my motherhood journey and providing spaces for other mothers like myself. I want to say 2015, I got married. Um, and I knew that I wanted to be married, I knew that um a family was going to be in the works, but I didn't know that it was gonna come as soon as it came. Um, I never really imagined having kids because I work with kids. I have been working with kids since I was 18 years old, and I always felt like I was going to be the mother of the village. I wanted to be the village mother, I wanted to care for all the kids. I always said that I was the lady with the fur coat in the back making things happen in the city of Philly. And if you know anything of Philly, you know that there's tons and tons of trauma in the city of Philadelphia and mainly in the schools in the neighborhoods that I served. Um, but shortly after, in 2016, I had my first son, Ibrahim Morris. Um, Ibrahim means father of the nation. Um, and I always knew that my sons were, if I had sons, that I would name them Ibrahim and Ishmael. Um, so 2016, I had my first son, and I don't know if I was in postpartum or just a slight depression because my life had changed. Um, always been a person that was always able to get up and serve, I wasn't able to do that anymore. Now I had to serve in my home to my own little baby boy, and at this time, my my husband had to go out and work. So I spent a lot of time home with this crying baby because my son, my my first son had a lot of stomach problems. Um, and I just went into like this depression because I didn't know myself, I didn't know who I was, I didn't know how to identify myself, and I wanted to be at work. I wanted to be at work and I wanted to be serving. And recently, before I actually had my son, um, I think it was before after, no, it was be it was before I had my son. Um, one of my students who was like a son to me, Safi Carr, had passed away in February 2016. Um, and he passed away, and I was still in that depression mode of losing somebody that was with me at five o'clock, and by six o'clock, he had passed away. So I was home, I was still feeling those feelings, and now God had blessed me with my own baby boy, and I really just didn't know how to process it. Um, my husband at the time, he wanted to come home. He didn't want my mother there, he didn't want my sister there, so I didn't have nobody there to help me with the baby. So a lot of times it was me and the baby because by the time he came home, he was exhausted by working, and I was just extremely overwhelmed. But then also I was kind of always judged about how I took care of the baby, so that also added an extra pressure because for me, when it came to my husband at that time, it felt like I couldn't do nothing right. Um it felt like everything that I tried to do, I was questioned about or I was told that this was not it. And if you know uh a man, when they first have a baby and they go to wikipedia.com and they ask all of the questions on Wikipedia.com, they feel like Wikipedia knows the answer. Now, me, I had already raised several children by this time. I had raised my first child that wasn't my child when I was 18 years old, raised her, took care of her straight out of her mother's womb because her mom had to go back to work. Y'all know that life of a parent that has to go back to work, that has to work. So I was taking care of newborn babies as early as 18 years old. So for me to have my first son, for me to shift and pivot my life completely, and now I'm home. Um, my finances wasn't the same. I always had a good job, so I always made good money, but now my paycheck is cut because I'm on maternity leave, it was just very heavy on me. Um, so I don't know if I really enjoyed my first pregnancy as much. But one of the things that I did do was from his baby, from my first son's baby shower all the way up till now. I always had books around him, and it's so funny. He is nine years old now, and actually yesterday he was like, Mom, gotta come in my room, you gotta see my library. I'm putting my library together. He in school got the librarian award. He loves books, doesn't always read them, but he will collect them. He absolutely loves books. Um, so going on in the journey, um, my marriage was just rough. I think we had the idea of wanting a family, but not knowing what it was gonna take of ourselves to have a family. So now by the second time, my I'm pregnant with my daughter, and I think I just didn't even remember my pregnancy. I was in so much of trauma um during that time in my marriage that I really didn't remember my pregnancy. Um, both of all of my pregnancies, I had complications where I had to constantly go to the doctors. So being a mother, it can be very dreadful when you're constantly going to doctor's appointments, always having to take off of work, traveling with this baby that is growing inside of your body. Um, that all of the added pressures outside of just caring for this baby inside of you can be very draining and overwhelming from housing situation to financial problems to, you know, giving love and attention to your spouse um was hard because my other son was still a baby. He was already probably one and a half at the time. So when I had my daughter, I was just in a just in a space of just like disassociating. Um, she came out early uh because they felt like she wasn't getting enough food. When I say my baby girl was in the hospital the first day she was born holding her bottle, she was a true sister's with the agenda when she came out the womb. Okay, they said she was hungry, she came out holding her bottle, she didn't have to go to the NICU, she didn't have to go to ICU. So I was just grateful that she was healthy. You know, I believe that God is the best, is the knower of the unseen and the scene, and he knew things that the doctors didn't know. You know, the doctors felt like she was going to be premature, that she was unhealthy, and my baby was very well. Um, she was able to come home with me, and she has been healthy ever since. Thank God for that, right? Because that's a mother's worthy, right? To be able to have this baby and you're having all of these complications through your pregnancy, and you're just scared that when these babies come out in the world, are they going to be healthy? Are they going to be okay? And all of my three pregnancies with C-section. So, again, another layer of trauma added to this journey. So after I had my daughter, I think within a week, we went to counseling because the baby was every bit of this big. All my babies were about five-something pounds, they were very little. Um, and I remember us being in counseling with the baby there. Um, so it was just like through the journey of having kids, my marriage just got more and more rocky. And that's when I kind of was going through a deeper depression because not only was I going through this journey of motherhood and learning myself as a mother of my own kids. I always was the mother of the village, but now these were my kids that I had to come home to. But I also still worked in the schools. And I worked at one of the toughest schools in Philly, and I constantly was losing kids left and right, left and right. First it was the boys, and then after I had my baby girl, it became the girls. Um, I had a sixth grader who committed suicide. I had a 12th alumni who got killed. I had a ninth grader who got shot. So it was just like, God, what are you trying to tell me? I started to disassociate because I would go to work and have to nurture my kids and love with my students, and then still go home and be a mother, sometimes not even being able to get an adequate amount of sleep throughout the night and then trying to breastfeed. Okay. Breastfeeding is a challenge within itself, and especially when your spouse makes it hard for you to give up breastfeeding because it's consuming all of your energy and time. And a lot of us have complications when it comes to breastfeeding, being able to really get the milk out and feel like you're giving enough milk to your child. So I started to disassociate. Disassociating means just moving through life, but you're not really present. And I got in a car accident outside of my job, and I felt like I needed to stop and I needed to pause, and I needed to say, Tanja, you have to take care of yourself, or else you're not going to be able to take care of your two babies or the kids that you serve. I had lit my house on fire, I had gotten car accidents, I would leave my door open with the key in the door, and I lived in a triplex building. Okay. Anybody could have got into my apartment. Um, so I was just going through all of this trauma and not even paying attention to what was actually going on. Um, women, we hold stress in our belly, and I would have constant bowels in my sleep next to my husband. Um, it was horrible. And then I finally decided to just pause. I had the ability to be able to move out of South Jersey in an acre of land, and I decided to just quit my job. I was just too overwhelmed, and I wanted to take time for me so that I can be better for my kids. Because I always knew that I was good and good at taking care of kids. But now when it came to my kids, I was drained by the time that I came home that I wasn't really showing up for my babies. I wasn't able to nurture my babies, I wasn't able to nurture my home, I wasn't being able to give attention to my husband. But when I moved to Jersey, the trauma with my husband continued to grow. So that's when I decided to tap into Sisters with the Agenda. Sisters with the Agenda was already a youth program that I was running since I was 18 years old, and it was really centered on creating a mission for yourself to drive decision making. And I said, Hey, how about I relaunch this and create this as a sister circle for women like myself? Because it actually was during the pandemic when this happened. I started in the pandemic actually before I had the chance to move to Jersey when we started the sister circle. And Tamra was one of our people that was one of our sister circle members. We had a virtual platform and we had an in-person platform. And I just wanted to connect with other women, kind of like Mama You Know did podcasts, where we can really talk about our different journeys and motherhoods and some of the traumas and trials that we experience in our nine-to-five. So I look for other like-minded women who were experiencing some of the same things so that we can really heal together. When I moved to Jersey, I spent more time on focusing on personal development. I had to find out how do I show up in my best capacity to not only be able to serve for myself, but also to be able to serve for the people that I love. It got better. It got better. Um, I was traumatized by the tree that was cut down. So during that time, I had to go back to Little Tadja and I had to nurture Little Tadger so that I can really identify what it is like to be a parent. And I went back to my old neighborhood and I was able to look at that house that I grew up in and thought about all of the love that I was able to receive and all of the memories that my parents was able to cultivate for me. And I was able to do that for my kids while living in Jersey. I was able to spend time with them at the playgrounds, and I was able to exp to experience time with them, doing nature walks and experiencing earth and finding the love for nature. Um, because that was something that I grew up loving is just being okay and being present where your feet are at. Sometimes we're just constantly moving, and as a mom, you understand we're always, always, always moving. And sometimes we just need to plant our feet and get grounded. And that was one of the things we love to do in Jersey. Me and my kids would just find a random park. We would do park trips where randomly I would just drive to different parts of Jersey and we would find a park and we would take our shoes off and we would walk our feet in the grass and just get grounded to the earth. A lot of times my kids were scared right away, the grass filled, but it was great to connect with them without the noise of phones, TVs, radios, and just be present and enjoy the laughter and you know, kids being able to explore. My marriage got worse, and I realized that I had to walk away. And the day we decided to move back to Philly, I knew it. As a mom, you know, you know when you're pregnant, you know when there's a baby inside of you. And a lot of times when you're you're you wait so long to find out, it's because you don't want to know. And a lot of times I shared with people, and people will often judge me that I never wanted to have kids. But I was okay with my truth because the more and more I spoke it out loud, the more and more I accepted that I was a mother and that I had now three babies. Literally, the day before I moved out, I found out that I was pregnant with my son. It was a hard journey. It was really, really hard because I had become conscious enough to know that I couldn't have another abortion. In between the two that I already had, I almost been pregnant over several seven times in this marriage. Some was miscarriage, some was abortions, but this one I just couldn't let go. I had to make a decision for myself to say I can't commit another sin and have an abortion, and I have to keep hold of this baby. I moved back to my mother's house. And it's funny because I was a child out of four who went to college and never looked back. I would randomly go back to my mother's house, my parents' house, should I say, and just to save up money so that I can go shopping. But I never really stayed there. I actually moved out when I was in the 10th grade because I was assisted with the agenda. So I always worked, I always had good grades, and I always was what my mom would call Miss Independent. But I had to go back to my mom's house. I had to surrender and I said, Mom, I need your help. And me, my pregnant belly, and my two kids had to sleep in a room. Child, how life had changed. At this time, my two kids had to sleep on a chair. I slept in a twin bed, and this was our life. Slowly but surely, I had my son, my last son, Ishmael. And I said to myself that if nothing else, I didn't want to have a pregnancy full of trauma. So I stayed grounded in my personal development. I focused on my self-love and I really nurtured myself with self-care so that my son can come out feeling the love of his mother and not trauma while in the womb. This this pregnancy, this was my third c section. And when I say God was talking to me while I was on the table, I felt everything. I felt everything this third C section. Um and when he came back into the world, I know how God works. I ended up going back with their father, my ex-husband at the time, and we had just moved into this house. And when I say everything went wrong the day we moved into this house, everything went wrong. And I'm sitting by the window, and my other children and their dad is on their way home, and I'm holding my baby boy, and literally I witnessed a murder for the first time in my life right outside my window. I'm talking about I seen these guys hop out the car with a mask in the middle of the day and shoot this boy with red pants in the middle of the street. My children were getting out of the car at the same time, and their dad had to jump on their backs to cover them. The killers then ran past my children and their father. And I sat by that window and I held my son so tight. And I asked God, what is it that you want me to learn from the constant deaths that are surrounding me? I always remember it as a child. When they would ask me what did I want to do or what did I want to be or what was my superpower, I said that I wanted to heal people. And surely one thing God will do is walk you through it so you know how to do it. Because all of my gifts are God breed. I do not have a degree, I do not have credits, but I naturally show up to be that vessel for people. So this last child was a child that pushed me to save myself because I knew that the job that was given to me, the service that was placed upon me, I had to be able to serve in the best capacity. So I continued to build sister circles for women where we focused on capacity, self-care, and self-love and personal development. I shifted my business to focus on the women because how can we truly role model for kids if we don't take care of ourselves? I remember never seeing my mom cry. I remember hearing my mom and dad fight and my mom not showing no emotion. And I didn't want to be that for my kids. I wanted them to know that it's okay to have feelings. I I always teach my kids about character. Every day we ride to school, we say what we're grateful for, even the baby. He's about to be three years old now. And he's a work in progress. But every now and then you see the work that I have put in on a day-to-day basis to not just think about myself, but as I think about myself, how in return does that show up with my kids? My student, my kids through this divorce and through this separation, they have found peace, they have been grounded, and they are straight A students. So I'm super proud for the motherhood journey. Every time they get awards in school, they're students of the week, students of the month, they get character awards in any programs that they're in. People speak very highly of my children, and that just speaks to my journey of motherhood as a mother. And I continue to just show up every day for myself first. And right now, I'm really just focused on my relationship with God because if I love God, my kids will love God, and just being the light in every room that we walk in. So the journey of motherhood has been a journey. It truly, truly has. But I'm grateful for it because I believe that through every lesson, God teaches you something. And just like I said earlier, my son came downstairs. I don't know where, I don't know if he was on his computer or not. And he was like, Mom, it's International Women's Day. And he just walked up and hugged me. So to be able to be a good role model and know that, you know, when they leave my presence, God, you know, people can see their character that's in them is really a blessing within itself, especially everything that we went through. And living in the city of Philly, you see a lot of kids carrying their trauma on them in a negative way. But I just know that when I see my kids, I see peace and they're grateful and they still have a great relationship with their dad.

SPEAKER_02 31:16

Thank you so much for sharing your story.

SPEAKER_05 31:18

Um, I know I've heard parts of it, but I never really got to hear it all come together at one time, and it is a very powerful story. Um you have some very strong shoulders, some very strong shoulders.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

You said the doctor told me during my stress and girl, talk about stress.

SPEAKER_05 31:46

Um, yeah. I'm gonna kind of start my QA backwards, just because this is what's really fresh on my mind, obviously. Um, but you said that you never saw your mom cry, and you're at a place where you want to be able to show those emotions to your kids, and I resonate with that so deeply, and I'm thinking of a recent conflict that I had with my boyfriend, and um we I'm an easy crier when it comes to when it feels stressed or angry or really any emotion anymore. I I don't know what happened to me. Uh anywho, so um um I was crying when we were trying to have a conversation, and we weren't yelling, and it wasn't a super emotional conversation, but I was pouring out my heart in the conversation, and Tavia walked in, and she just looked at me and saw that we were talking, kind of touched my hand, and then walked back out, and I almost stopped talking altogether and paused the conversation that needed to happen, but I said, no, it's okay that she saw that because she saw us having an adult conflict and saw us resolving it in a way that was um responsible and mature, and she saw that you know her mom has feelings, um, and I try to really I try to really express that those feelings to her so that she can understand that it's okay that we all feel, and it's still hard being a black woman, um, to be able to express those feelings. But when did you realize? I said all of that to say, I am I am now trying to open up and allow that wall to fall down when it comes to raising my child. Um, when did you allow yourself to be free enough in front of your children to express yourself in all forms?

SPEAKER_00 34:08

Um I think it goes back to like what I said when I'm when I moved to Jersey because I am a Jersey girl at heart, um, and just going back and nurturing that little me and like just looking at the lens of my parents through my eyes as a parent now. You know, you as a parent, you could better understand your parents. Um, so as I was going back and I was looking at some things and things that I might have been mad at my parents for, um, you know, as a teenager and growing up as a young adult, I was able to like just put myself in their shoes. But I remember times of my mom and dad arguing, and I would go ask my mom, like, what's going on? Where's my dad at? And she would say, Call your grandma. And I'm like, huh, what do my grandmom got to do with this? She ain't here. So for me, or like I said, just never seeing my mom cry. Like, still to this day, mom has passed away, grandmom has passed away, sister has passed away. Never seeing my mom cry is just not a human emotion, you know, it's it's not real. And I wanted, I think for me, it was like times where we would, me and my husband would argue, and my kids would come in the room, and I might, you know, shy away, or I would find myself locking myself in the room, and that was something that my mom did. And still to this day, she believes that she did not have a lock on her bedroom door. And I'm like, was she disassociating? Like, or was that a trauma that she packed behind her that she doesn't want to accept it? Like, all four of us is telling you, you had a lock on your door. So for me, it was like, I found myself hiding in my room crying. I felt myself going in the shower crying, and I but I saw my kids constantly looking at me. And I'm like, I remember being that child acting as if I don't know what's going on. So it didn't matter if they were five, it didn't matter if they were three, it didn't matter if they are aware and they are conscious. There's some type of conversation I can have with them to bring some understanding, which actually ease their heart, versus me putting a patch on it and acting like, oh, mommy's okay. That's gonna make my child delusional. That's gonna make my child believe something about the world that's not true. And I think for me, that's what it was when I got married. I only had a perception of what marriage was because there wasn't a real dialogue or conversation about what was really happening in this home. There's this song by Pink called Family Portrait. As a little girl, I cried about this song all the time because I felt like that was us. We look good in the picture. Everybody's like, Oh, you got a mom and your dad. And I'm like, Do you know? You know, it wasn't bad, but do you know what goes on? You know what I'm saying? And I think for me, the missing part was the dialogue. Where's the dialogue about some of the things that doesn't look so pretty going on? There's some type of conversation you can have. Like I would tell my kids, like, you know, when you're mad at your brother and you want your brother to get out your room. Well, that's how I feel about daddy right now. Me and Daddy are upset, and right now I don't want to see daddy because daddy, you know, or mommy made daddy mad. Like, there's some type of conversation that we can have. And I think that even now, like when we moved and we separated, and my kids, you know, are with me, they're like they have this understanding of well, it's peaceful. I don't have to hear mommy and daddy arguing, you know, they're both happy and they're at peace and they're happy places, and even though they truly want us back together, they have an understanding that we all have feelings, and you can't suppress your feelings just to make other people happy. And I think that sometimes we teach bad habits when we try to put this blinder over our kids and act as if that kids are not extremely smart, they are very smart, but I think it's just how you tell her the conversation. You don't have to give up all of the details, but you don't have to lie either.

SPEAKER_05 38:20

I love that. And actually, my question was going to be could you share how that would look? But you already jumped into it and you showed us two examples of what that might sound like. Um, and I think it's extremely please feel free.

SPEAKER_00 38:37

Um so one of the things we did even while we were married was family meetings. Um, so we did family meetings as young as my kid, my son was able to talk. We had family meetings because it allowed them to ask questions, um, it allowed them to express how they felt about things that were going on, um, things that I need to do differently, especially like when I was in my depression. There's things that I didn't see that they saw. There was things that they wanted that I didn't know that they wanted, right? Some something of mommy, we just want you to sit with us at the table and not go in your room because you're hurting right now. You know what I'm saying? So that was like a big thing that I encourage all families to do: single parents, families, having family meetings and allowing that time for you to voice feelings amongst the family.

SPEAKER_05 39:30

Love that. Um, we have and we've tried to incorporate family meetings, and it's not as consistent as I envisioned it when we first tried tried it. But is there a structure that you follow so that it is consistent, or is it just um a very casual um we're having dinner, let's go ahead and just have this family meeting? Or is it like you plan it a set time?

SPEAKER_00 40:00

I think ideally, just like any mom, we want to have a schedule and we want to have structure, but we also have to be realistic that that's just not how life works. It doesn't work like that at your job, your teeth, your boss can give you a deadline. That doesn't mean you're going to meet it. Anything can happen. So I think for us, it's just like if something occurred, if something came up, or sometimes the kids request it, they'd be like, Mom, can we have a family meeting? We'll have a family meeting. If there's a new transition happening in the family, let's have a family meeting. If we feel like feelings are arising, let's have a family meeting. If you see a change in behavior, let's have a family meeting. You know what I'm saying? Because there's always a way that you can open up discussion. But I again, I think we just have to give ourselves grace as mothers. Like, of course, we want to do it every month, of course we want to do it all the time. You don't know how that day is going to show up. So I think that, you know, just allowing space to just say, if you feel like we need to bring it to the table, let's bring it to the table. You know, sometimes our family meetings will be in our car, you know. But I think that just being graceful with ourselves as parents is the biggest thing. Like, you know, we we sometimes think everything is black and white and it's really not that.

SPEAKER_05 41:17

I appreciate I appreciate the wisdom and the reality that you know we do as moms, especially as moms who are planners. We like to have structure and we think that things are gonna work out. And I always laugh at myself because I say it often. Tavia had a due date, she did not come on her due date. She chose the the day she was gonna come, and from then on out, my life has shifted to what she wanted, and it's very it's still hard for me to adjust to it. I still don't get it. I tell her this is what it's gonna be, and she does completely different. And so the reality of what you're saying, I think needs to be reiterated. Like, we might have this plan every Monday, we're gonna have a family meeting. That's not true, that's not gonna work that way, but I want to go back to when you moved to Jersey, and I love the fact that I talked about the tree because it tied in so well today, it was beautiful, it like in God's timing. Didn't we say that? It tied in so beautifully, but I love that when you moved, you had a plan to reset and rebuild, and that's essentially exactly what you did. Now it took you some pushing and some pulling and some tugging and some shoving to get there, but you got there. Um, but I love the fact that you used the words that you wanted to experience the earth with your children, and I don't know the exact history or the background of having your feet touching the ground, but I have a feeling that you can tell me a little bit about that when you're grounding. You can't, that's fine because I'm gonna look it up and I'm gonna add it as a as a um as a separate video because I know that there's something, there's some type of connection when you can take your feet and you can meet your feet to that ground and you can just connect with the earth, and it's something much deeper than something that I'm used to studying, but there's that connection.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

I think that anything that God creates creates is a connection, and we sometimes forget that because humans have put all of these things on God's earth. You get what I'm saying? So I think for me it just Just grounds you and centers you back to the connection with God. I remember the other day we was driving, and my son is Mr. Wikipedia. So anytime I have any questions, I asked him. And I kept seeing these birds. And I saw the birds in a straight line. And I saw the birds in the V. And I said, son, what is the what like what is the sign of birds, right? Coincidentally, I'm reading my Quran and it's just a reminder of God, God's creation. That sometimes we're going on through life that we forget about the air. We forget about the sun that comes and goes, you know, the clouds and all of the different things. So for me, because I was so wrapped up in the trauma that was happening in my life, living in the city, just constantly moving. Like I said, I grew up in a suburb. So we played in the trees. We went outside with no shoes on all the time. So for me, it was just like a slowdown moment. And just like I said, just getting grounded. Now, there is probably some science to it, but you know, just getting grounded and just getting reconnected with the earth and with God. And I would just, we would even just sit in the grass sometimes. You know, my kids hated it because they had fresh cut grass in Jersey. Okay. So it was very prickly. But for me, it was just like to give you a sensation in your body. And again, sometimes I know grounding is a way also to center yourself when you're anxious and you don't have to have your shoes off, but just to be able to plant your feet because a lot of times our mind is not where we're at. We're constantly moving, and sometimes we don't stop to pause. And you know, that is a big part of Sisters with the Agenda is like releasing, reflecting, and celebrating, and just taking a sense to just pause where we're at as moms because we got so many things on our plate going back to the family meeting. We want to do all of these things, but we don't really take a second to just pause and be okay with where we're at.

SPEAKER_05 46:02

Yeah, that's real. That's very real. Um, and I just want to share a real quick, kind of funny story, but also a coincidental story. When I lived in Philadelphia, right after I had Tavia, I used to during COVID, I used to love taking a walk to um there was a library up there on Germantown Ave, um, like real close to one of the grocery stores. And I used to go up there and just sit in the grass with Tavia. But we had no plans. We would just go up there, sit for a couple hours. I would put a blanket down and just kind of let her sit. And she hated the grass at that time. She hated it when she was a baby. She even hated the sand the very first time I took her to the beach. But now, like, she's like, Can we go outside? I want to go outside. It's I'm like, girl, I just got home. Let me like, and I need, I need to slow down sometimes and allow myself to enjoy that time because I used to love being outside. I used to love it, but I need to be able to enjoy that air and that grass and the sun with her because she loves being outside now. So is it a moment where I can sit, pause, and appreciate all of the things and let you know all of the stuff going on around me kind of slow down. But there's so much that you talked about, so much. And and I don't want to dig into everything. Um, but I'm gonna start with some of the words that are related to trauma that you said, because I think that it's important to recognize all of the things that you've overcome to get to the place that you are today in your, and I'm not even gonna say completely healed, but in your healing state, because I believe that you are constantly healing, because I know who you are. But you said overwhelmed, you said isolated, you said pressured, you were told that you couldn't do anything right, you were questioned, draining financial problems, and one that kept coming up was disassociated. And when you were disassociated, you said it probably three or four times. That's when you told us that there was a point where you lit the house on fire, that you left the key in the door, that you were carrying stress in your belly, and there was a car accident that you were in, and that was kind of where you woke up and you had your wake-up call. Then you quit your job. You got back to tapping into Sisters with Agenda, where you were creating a space for people to have a mission to drive decision making for themselves. Then you moved to Jersey, where you were able to focus on personal development, capacity, self-care, self-love, and staying grounded. And that's when you were able to surrender and ask for help. And make me cry.

SPEAKER_01 49:18

Don't run that dick like that.

SPEAKER_05 49:21

I mean, those are just some of the things that you said. I'm just saying, because I can only write, but so fast. I mean god, no, but you went through so much, and all of this time you were pregnant during all of those traumatic experiences, but in your third pregnancy, you stopped, you paused, and you recognized I'm not doing this again. You said, I am going to be intentional about pouring love into my son. And you said that you even had an encounter where God was talking to you the whole time while you were on the table doing your surgery, because you understood that he needed to say something to you, because you are a person who is a healer. With that in mind, everything that I just said, all of the things that you have gone through that you have overcome, and that you are now looking back and saying, I made it out and I'm healing, and now I'm trying to bring you out and push you through and up, and all of that. But you chose not to. Keep working towards your wholeness and your healing so that you could be a healer. And I know that you had a lot going on, you were losing students, students after back to back to back to back, and it was it was becoming a lot for you. And you were questioning your capacity to even parent, but through all of that, you are still in a position where all of this trauma that you've carried, you can still say, I'm still standing, and I know some of these secrets that you need to make it through. And you are now inspiring nonstop, like you are pushing nonstop for other people to keep going and keep pushing and keep looking at the vision that God has given them. So, with that, I say thank you. I say we need you to say we love you, and I say don't ever quit, don't ever stop being who you are, because you are making a difference, even if we don't see it right now, because I know what we talked about before we got on this call, but I know that we need to remain consistent. Your children see it, you said it yourself, and it's just the beginning of what they see. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry. No, I didn't know where I was going when I started all of that, but but thank you.

SPEAKER_00 52:37

Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 52:38

I need the mother of the village.

SPEAKER_00 52:43

Thank you. I needed that. Look, so it's funny that you say that because my kids was like, Okay, so they was like, Oh, you're gonna be on a podcast. I'm like, Yeah, I'm gonna be talking about parenting. She's gonna say, Well, which kids? I said, What you mean?

SPEAKER_01 52:55

Y'all, she said, Mom, you know you got all them kids that you take care of. You got your niece, you got the kids at your job, you got your free. I said, I'm gonna go talk about you.

SPEAKER_05 53:11

What it look like if I go on this podcast. Oh, yeah, by the way, I got three kids too.

SPEAKER_00 53:18

But I think also, you know, again, I think just hearing you say everything that you say, you know, it's one thing when you say it and you live it, you don't really see it all together, but it just encompasses where I'm going with my journey. Um, because Sister Circle was created for me. You know, I always create for me in mind because my whole mission with Sisters with the Agenda is let's grow together, right? How do we come up out of this? And, you know, wanting to create spaces for women is important to me, but I think I'm doing it in a different capacity. Um, and right now my workshops is focusing on parenting, and basically, how do we reunite this relationship with parents and their kids and us understanding our kids and our kids also understanding us? There's things that I value that I want my kids to value. Like I tell my son all the time, we talk about integrity, but God talks about integrity, but he values his art. I need to know that, and I need to understand that about him. I can't just push that to the side because it's just what mommy wants, you know? And I think that we have so many youth programs that's focused on the kids, but how are we also bringing what the kids is learning and what the family wants and bringing back that unity in the family? Because I think that's what's really important in seeing the change in our society is really bringing back the holistic family so that there is an understanding and it drives our decision making. So that's really how life is pivoting me, um, especially working in the schools, because there is so many times where I want to quit. But when I sit back and I look at my kids, a lot of times my fight and my battle is the parent is telling the child this, and the child is also hearing what I'm saying. So now we go in against the structure that they was told at home, but they also love Dean T and they want to listen to Dean T. And I'm like, so now I gotta focus on the parents, right? So that we can really build a holistic community to go back to how I was raised. Every adult that was around me could say something to me, could raise me, can challenge me, can question me, can educate me, and that's not the same in our community anymore. So once we are able to really bring a holistic conversation where not only can I hold you accountable as a parent, but I also can hold your child accountable. Not only do I know your child and understand things about your child, but you also know your child and undersee your child as well. It's not just because I believe in the power of the village, but I also should believe that you should be seen at home. You know, one of the things that I always would say is, we see you, right? But a lot of times kids don't feel seen at home. Like a lot of times our kids do not feel like they're seen, they're heard, they're understanded at home, and they can tell me everything that their parents want for them, but they don't know if their parents understand what they want for themselves, you know, and that is the most important when I sit with kids and they feel like DC, I know you care about me, but when I go home, I don't know if I feel the same way about my parents. So it's a constant broken system. And even the parents that have good relationships with their kids, we know I always say, like for myself, that there was times I did not give my parents a chance because of my shame or because I thought I was going to get in trouble. I didn't give my parents a chance to really be able to nurture me in some of the different tough situations I went through because I moved out at 10th grade. So I just was trying to be grown and live on my own. But you know, I think that you know, as you sit back and say that, it's like I'm evolving as this person, and as I evolved, I keep developing. And right now, like I said, it's the month of Ramadan for me, and I've just been asking God, like, I'm okay with this delay, just show me what you want me to do next. And you kind of just like spoke to it as you was like running it back, and you know, even looking at my my pregnancies, like even with my daughter, somebody was asking about it, and I was like, I don't remember, like, I don't remember, but I knew that I couldn't be broken. There's so many broken moms that's trying to survive and trying to provide that we can't even listen and hear our kids. And that's why it was important for me to say, no, we have to pause. We can be the business women, we can be the boss women, we can be the providers, we can be all of those things, but we also have to pause so that we really can show up in the best capacity. We can't just be pumping and thinking and doing really well in the outside world and then go home and be depleted for our kids. That's what a nursing mom was. She gave all of her milk to the slave master kids that she had nothing for her own child. That's how I've been feeling lately. I'm going out here and I'm nurturing the world because the world is broken. So I want to take care of all the village kids that I come home and I'm drained and I don't have the time or the capacity for my kids. I can't continue to do that.

SPEAKER_05 58:30

So the if I have my journal.

SPEAKER_01 58:40

But I don't Sunday, girl.

SPEAKER_05 58:46

Um, this is a sidebar conversation for after this. But when I talk about the alignment that we're in right now, it's crazy. It is crazy. I will tell you, I'll share with you after this what I'm planning right now. Yes, but it's not ready, so I can't share it right now. Um, okay. So we could really be here probably for another couple hours, but we neither one of us have the time because we need to take the time for ourselves. So we have the capacity to go back to uh being moms. So I'm going to move us forward and um say thank you again for coming on to Nailed at Motherhood and just being completely transparent about your story. I know for a fact somebody, I don't care if it's just one person, somebody needed to hear your story today. It could have been me for all I know. And bless the Lord if it was. Um, somebody needed your story, somebody needs your motivation. So I appreciate you for saying yes. I know this is a busy month for you, and I'm asking a lot to give more of your time, but I think it was worth it. So um, we're gonna move on to tea time, shake it up a little bit, have a little fun, and play some tea time. Tea time is a game of rapid fire. I have a bucket full of questions. Some of them are deep, some of them are just for fun. So during this game, Tasha will have three minutes to, I'm trying to share my screen. Tasha will have three minutes to answer as many questions as she can and give as as much insight into who she is.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:44

Sorry.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:51

All right, three minutes are on the clock. T, can you see the three minutes?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:59

Wonderful. Are you ready to play tea time with us and give us a little sneak of who you are? Wonderful. Let's get started then. First question on the clock. What is the last TV show or movie you binge watched?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:20

Oh, um, Bridgetton, can't wait till Ravina's over so I can finish it.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:30

If you had to do it all again, would you?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:36

I love my babies, but no.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:40

That is honesty. I love I love honest people. Name the most spontaneous thing you've ever done.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:54

I don't know. I'm not really a spontaneous person. Um, I mean, we we love a road trip to Niagara Falls. Yeah. I think actually I think quitting my job and moving to Jersey was the most spontaneous thing I ever did, for real, for all.

unknown 1:02:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:14

That is fair. That is very fair. What's one thing you can't leave the house without?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:24

Outside of my phone?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:26

My phone that part morning person or night owl?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:33

I'm a morning person.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:35

I I wish I could sleep in. God don't let me sleep in. I'm grateful, but no.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:41

Not lately. My goodness. What's your favorite way to unwind after a long day?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:49

Oh, just going in my room and binge watching a song, a show that's like mindless. Like, I I use everything as a strategic plan, even a baddies. So sometimes just being able to like watch mindless TV so that I'm not thinking about trying to save the world.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:11

I love it. If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be? What would it be? Business.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:20

I need to understand business.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:23

Yes. What's the worst piece of advice you ever received? Go to college? What small things bring you joy?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:42

I love a good meal in my car. Having four kids and spending a good ten, fifteen dollars on a meal versus forty-something dollars of any day. Any day.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:55

Okay, here's something similar. What smell instantly makes you happy? Water ice.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:08

So Philly. If fear wasn't a factor, what dreams would you chase right now?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:16

Quitting my job and going all in on sister with the agenda.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:20

Girl, me too. Me too. Well, not sisters with agenda, but we might be partners. I love it. Thank you so much for playing Tea Time. It was fun to get to know a little bit more about you that wasn't necessarily related to motherhood. Um at this time, I want to give you an opportunity to share any words of encouragement or inspiration that you might have for mothers, parents, anybody who's taking care of children, or anybody who's a part of the village.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:55

Prioritize you. Prioritize you. As selfish as it may seem to most, it is important for you to prioritize you. Um, you know, you probably have heard it a million times before. Put your oxygen mask on first so that you can save others. But not too often do mothers give themselves grace enough to really lean in and just love on you. Because once you love on you, what do they say? The oil will run off on off of you and onto those around you.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:30

That was very simple but so profound. We need that reminder every now and again. Can you tell us what's next for you and how can people connect with you after this show?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:44

Um, what's next for me is I am working on two different things. Um, I am working to connect with programs that serve only youth to bridge the gap between the parents or guardians. And the youth to bring some better understanding of their values, their personality traits, and creating a mission for themselves. And then also working with the school system and creating spaces for mindset. I think that working in the schools, a lot of times it is already draining and combat it with trauma that, you know, staff need to make sure that we come in with the right mindset on a daily basis so that we can really show it for the kids that we serve. Because no matter what school you work at in the inner city, there is some type of trauma you're facing, but you have to come in with a good heart and spirit. And a lot of times it can be hard with all of the society barriers. But you as an individual understanding and aligning your why and how people can connect with me, come on over, join our Instagram, Sisters with Agenda Village. Um, Sisters with Agenda new page is actually what it is. But if you Google Sister with the Agenda, you'll find us. Um, and yeah, that's really where I live at, mainly on Instagram. Um, I'm here in the city of Philadelphia, 6353 Germantown Ave. So it's funny you said Love It Library. We're right down the street from Loved Library. Um, but if you're not in Philly, again, just Google Sister S-I-S-T-E-R with an agenda, and you'll find us.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:30

Um, all of that information will be in the description below. So make sure you scroll down after you listen to this episode and click on that link. It'll take you directly to the Instagram and you can copy the address so that you can make your way to Sisters with Agenda whenever there is an event. Please make sure you check her out. She is doing big things, and we want to make sure that we are supporting the community and we are building each other up. So, see, I have three questions that I ask all parents because I like to collect a little data and see if we all are on the same boat or if some of us are a little different. So, I have three questions that I would love to ask you just to kind of get a feel for where you are. The first question is parenting hard? Yes, no doubt about it. She said it with confidence. Yes, it is hard. But are they still standing?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:35

Yes, they upstairs standing right now.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:38

Yeah, standing tall.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:42

They survive, okay? I always say surviving.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:45

Take a nap, they'll be alive. Love it, love it, love it. So, what do you want to proudly tell our guest today?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:56

This mama is nailing it.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:00

And is that mama right there, Tasha Morris, mama of three beautiful children, both beautiful and bold, she is nailing it. So, listeners, if you like this episode and you want to hear more real personal parenting stories, please make sure that you subscribe to my social media at Nailed It Motherhood Podcast on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. We're working on the TikTok, so you can go on over there too. But you know, I'm still working. But don't forget to follow us on your favorite podcast platform so that you never miss an episode like this fabulous one that you just heard. We also have a website that is nailed at motherhood podcast.com. That is your one-stop shop for all things nailed at motherhood, including our brand new nailed at motherhood shop, where you can grab your this mama is nailing it self-care journals, merch, and more so you can support your parenting journey. We welcome your questions, your comments, and your ideas always. And we definitely hope to keep this conversation going. So until next time, keep on doing what it is you do. Smooches.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:15

Yes, merch.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:17

Yes, merch. We're doing it.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:21

You gotta tell them to note it under her podcast.