Flawed Father: Worthy of the Job w/ LaDon Hall

Co-parenting isn’t just about schedules. It’s about emotions, communication, and showing up for your kids in every season.

In this episode of Nailed It Motherhood, LaDon Hall shares his real-life journey from everyday parenting to navigating custody arrangements, opening up about the emotional impact on both parents and children. This conversation dives into the importance of flexibility, honest communication, and prioritizing your child’s needs over rigid agreements.

If you’re balancing co-parenting, adjusting to change, or learning how to stay connected with your kids no matter the circumstances, this episode is for you. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about perfect parenting—it’s about being present, intentional, and building strong relationships that last.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Do you wish somebody wrote down the recipe for your parenting challenges? Did you want tips and tricks to become a better mama for you and your babies? I know I do. If you're a mother who feels that you are doing the best you can with the hands you've been dealt, but you're still getting it done, then this podcast is for you. I'm so glad you tuned in to Nailed It Motherhood because we might have the recipe that nobody wrote down. Welcome back to another exciting episode of Nailed It Motherhood Podcast. I am your host with Tamara Eldridge. If this is your first time listening to this podcast, welcome, welcome, welcome to the village. This may be your first, but I certainly hope that it is not your last. Here we know that we are not experts at parenting. God knows that I am not an expert. I kind of think that's why he sent me my child. But we definitely know that we have a lot of experiences to add tips and tricks to the manual that we were not given when they said what to expect when expecting. This person has always been a leader and a family person for sure, even as a child. This guest takes a great pride in the legacy which they are trying to build. One of the best ways to describe our guests is to use their own words. So let me go ahead and do that for you all. If I had to describe myself in a few words, I'm a nerd, a dad, and a thinker. I've worn a lot of hats. Teacher, trainer, apprentice, leader, father, failure, and son. But right now, I'm just LaDon, still learning, still evolving. I'm adaptable, flawed, and always trying to grow. Listeners, please welcome to the stage my cousin LaDon Hall. Hey, cuz.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Hey Tammy, thank you so much for the intro. Thank you for having me on the show. I really appreciate it. Happy to be here.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Well, thank you. Thank you for saying yes. When I came to you and I asked you to be a guest on the show, I felt like uh I bring dads occasionally, and I saw a post that you put up about your girls and just the passion of building and creating things, especially for them. And I said to myself, why don't I ask my cousin, who I know is fire, to come to the show? He would be an awesome guest. So here we are. Thank you for saying yes, and thank you for joining us.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Of course, of course. We're gonna have a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Absolutely. We absolutely will. Um, before we jump into the actual meat and potatoes of the show, I did want to just let listeners know that we are cousins, as I said, but we are cousins by our grandmothers. The who do we want to call them? Sister sister twins. Um, they are not actual twins, but you wouldn't know that because they were thickest thieves when they were together. So my grandmother and his grandmother are sisters. And, you know, we're excited that we are connected through them. They're fierce, they're fiery, they're fun. Um, yeah. So the that's that's who we are to them, and that's who they are to the world. The the what do we want to call them? They're not the three musketeers, but they were they were always together whenever whenever we saw them at family reunions and things like that.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

Right. And they made sure that you know their children and their grandchildren all were connected. So, I mean, we we spent a lot of time either in Youngstown or going to the trobe, um, just for no reason. I honestly thinking back, I can't even remember why we would be up there some weekends. But we were just there and all of us were there together.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Yeah, um, I was thinking about that whenever I was getting ready for this show, just how many times we were we would make trips to Youngstown. Now, there were other reasons for us to be in Youngstown, but we always ended before we got on the road, we always ended in the basement at that one house. I can't remember the street name, but we were always in the basement.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

We were uh I want to say that was Crandall.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

And yep, yep, because that's what I was just thinking. It had to have been Crandall. Um, and it was like the house that was next door to my godmother's house. So I would always be like at my godmother's house and then come back and we would go downstairs in the basement and we would play house, we would do all kinds of games, different games, playing cards, basically being bad little kids. Because that's what you do.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

But boss, I'm not gonna lie, you always got us together, always, and always got out like before everybody got in trouble. I knew when it was my time to exit. Like, that's yeah, that's that's a gift that's gotten me this 40 years in life, is just knowing when to exit.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

So that's that's something that you've always done, and that's my cue. Yes, yes, that is hilarious, hilarious, and probably a gift. So I probably should have learned that a little sooner when to get out because I got in trouble a lot, and sometimes it wasn't even my fault, or I wasn't involved in it, but I was just in the mix too much.

SPEAKER_01 5:55

Yeah, if you were woman, it's your fault. You might when there's a lot of kids running around, it's hard to differentiate. All right, y'all all together, but these are good ones, and these are the ones that's acting up. Nah, y'all, it's it's a wrap.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

It's everybody's fault. Everybody's in trouble. Yeah, you are absolutely right, and I see that in my child. Hmm. Maybe we need to talk to you a little bit more. We need to talk to you a little bit more. I think I literally just had this conversation.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

So maybe I maybe I know what I'm talking about, maybe I don't. We'll see in a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

We we shall see. But okay, so can I call you boss on the show? We're friends, we're family. Can I call you boss? Or do you want to be called as La Don? Now I know listeners, they're not allowed to call you boss. That's La Don to y'all, but that's my cousin.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

If we if we blood related, or if I don't know that we not blood related, like they let me think that for years, then it's just it's boss. That's the funniest thing is that people would think, oh, because you were the boss, you were bossy. Nah, I had a cousin who was nine months younger than me who for some reason they started calling me Bossco. And he couldn't say it, so he would just go boss, boss. So that became my name.

SPEAKER_00 7:08

I did not know that, and I really was interested. So I'm glad you shared without being prompted. Thank you for sharing that detail.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

I end up with a cool name because I had a really horrible name. I have no idea why you're walking around calling a toddler Bosco.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

But where did that come from?

SPEAKER_01 7:26

If you had like no aspirations, I don't know. I and you know what? I never even asked because I was already judging them so hard for the nickname. I was like, we just don't let this slide. Like, no, no, you need to discuss that.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

Well, speaking of nicknames, apparently I thought that your sister's name was Danny White Tammy. So I I called her White Tammy, and I was the black Tammy. I did not know that.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

I remember. I you remember this?

SPEAKER_00 7:57

It was Aunt Sharita who tells me this story all the time. And I'm just like, okay, because I don't remember that at all. But apparently it's true. So good to know.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

She's not really that light though. She likes not really that light though.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

She likes she she she a little yellow, but she look at pictures, she's lighter back in the day. You okay, that's fair. That's fair.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

That's fair. Touche. That's fair. Touche. That's fair. That's fair.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

Touche.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

That that the sun has has done her well.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Because yes, y'all didn't live in Georgia. So that sun has helped help her melanin a little bit. But I love that. That was my rotary.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

She's illuminating a bit more.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

And that's and it it works well on her. I did get to see her um at Tia's wedding a couple years ago. It was so nice to see her because I hadn't seen her. I mean, I don't know the last time I saw you, to be honest, but the last time I saw her before that, I think I was in college. So it was just like in college, what? I graduated in 2009. It's been that long since we've been around each other. And that's crazy because we used to be every two years. Every two years. It was without question. Minimum. Minimum. Minimum. All right. Enough about our background because people are like, okay, are we gonna get to the personal parenting piece? We will, after we talk about my child and our Tobby Tale. So speaking of finding ourselves in trouble, you know they say that um a talkative child is one that is uh of high intelligence. And um, that's wonderful. My child is super smart, super intelligent. But they did not prepare the parent for that super intelligent, super talkative child. My child's mouth, this is why. And my topic tail is not a fun, lighthearted story today. This is me griping and complaining because I'm tired, tired with a Y A D today, because today was an exhausting day. Because today, my child decided she wanted to test and try every single bone in my body. And she just, it's that mouth, it's that mouth. And they always used to say to me, just wait, just wait. And I though you didn't have to nod your head so fast. But they used to say, just wait till you have a girl, just wait. And I used to always tell them I'm not gonna have a girl, I'm gonna have a boy. So there, but now I'm at the point where my mom used to pop me in the mouth immediately. I barely even opened my mouth to breathe, and she was already there, and I'm starting to want those skills so bad because that girl's mouth, that girl's mouth, that girl's mouth, and she doesn't care. We try to raise our kids to be empowered. She doesn't care. She does not, and and it doesn't faze her. Even when she gets in trouble, she's like, so what? And I'm like, You're sick. Why is it that you can think you can step to me so quickly and have no repercussions? And I'm just we have to be careful because people are ready to call to see why that's on us. At this point, I'm like, call them. Go ahead. Because I can't keep doing this gentle parenting thing when we're talking because my child talks too much. She said she does. So thank you so much for listening to my toffee tell. I just had to get it out because she was exhausting today. And because of it, I'm having me a little sippy sip as we do our interview. God bless, this mama is nailing it.

SPEAKER_01 11:57

Man, listen, I feel for you. I I also I have three daughters. So when it comes, when you say the mouth, I'm like, yeah, I know. Like, I don't I had one and I'm surprised she survived today. It's you know, she almost got these hands.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

I can't imagine you having to yes, I can. Yes, I can. I can imagine it because you had two sisters who also had mouths on them. Especially my ride or die. Yeah. Yeah. Bless your heart, because I'm not doing any more than her. Yeah. So thank you again for listening and thank you for sharing a little bit of insight about you having three girls with the mouths. But today we are not here about me. We are here about you and your parenting journey. And you went from living with your girls in a marriage, beautiful daughters, and they are beautiful. And I still can't believe that they're like in their teens now. That's crazy. But then to having to schedule visits with them. As a mom, we know that the court usually favors us when it comes to child custody or just making decisions that the parents typically can't make on their own. And even if they can make these things on their own, just kind of like covering your butt, the court usually sides with the mom and is favorable of the mom. But they do want to make sure that dads are involved. But we as moms also sometimes neglect the feelings that dads might be experiencing. So we we don't consider how they're thinking about different schedules, and we don't always consider the emotional roller roller coasters that they might be experiencing. So you are here to share a little bit about your story about how you went from seeing your girls every day to now I gotta work out schedules to get with my girls. So I'm gonna back off the mic, take a break from talking, and I'm gonna give you the floor so that you can share your personal parenting journey.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Oh, for sure. So I will say that today, in the year of our Lord 2025, that portion as far as like managing schedules is a lot easier. Um, but if we go back to kind of the beginning of things, probably about 2020, 2016-ish, it was a lot crazier. You know, so we're in a good place now to where um my big girls are 15 and 13. 50-50 custody, which again, my kids do not care about a custody agreement arrangement. They don't care that it's one week on, one week off. They hit me up on Monday and say, Dad, come pick me up Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. The following week, dad, get me these four days. Like it doesn't matter the one week, they don't care. Um, all that matters is when they want dad time, whether it's because they actually want to see me or I need to take them somewhere or I need to buy them something, that's what's important. Um I separated from my ex-wife, and we were still legally married for a good bit. We'll get into that a little bit later, but um at that point in time, there was still like a lot of hostility or whatnot. So instead of it just immediately jumping into like a 50-50 thing, there was a lot of the okay, well, you could come over here and see the kids, or you you know, you can work out this schedule. So there was a lot of hostility and a lot of anger with me because I didn't have anything else other than my kids. So not being able to have that time with them. It was one thing to go from seeing them every day, and then it was another thing to, okay, we're living separate, but I can't even have them half of the time. You know, that was just completely unfair to me. Um, we finally got to a place around 2020 where we stopped arguing, we stopped bickering, and it stopped being uh, does this man deserve to have his kids? Or, you know, having like that control over that time and that relationship with them, to where it was just like, all right, they're your kids, they're my kids. It's this is your time, this is my time. Split them in half and just let that be the thing. So that's where we have remained since then. And it's really great because you know, co-parenting is important, don't get me wrong. But the ages our kids are, they have phones and things of that nature. Our co-parenting is like at a super minimum because we both have direct contact with the kids all the time for. Um in 2021, I had my third daughter like completely separate from my marriage that's over and done with. And again, it was the hostility of me getting back into the mix of basically having to be a father again of the of a baby. And honestly, we we had the conversations like I didn't want to do it, she didn't want to do it, but here we are. And we kind of went through some similar things. Like we went through she gives me life, and I went from not wanting this other kid to now I couldn't imagine another day without her. So that's just that journey is all about the time, the wanting to be with my kids and not being able to felt like I was being controlled in that situation. And I know a lot of men have been through that, and the only thing advice that I can even say is just the course. It doesn't really matter. Like that's your job, and no, no matter how difficult it is, keep coming to work every day because it's gonna pay off in the end for them, because that's what it's all about.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Awesome. I love that. Um, I was just writing the quote that you say, keep coming to work every day. Um, because every day you're still a parent, right? Regardless of if you are with them or not. I think that that's an awesome, awesome uh piece of encouragement. Because regardless of how you came about being a parent, they're here. So you gotta do what you gotta do. Gotta do what you gotta do. So I'm gonna go back to the time between 2016 and 2020. And you said something that kind of like made me go, ooh. You said, Does this man deserve to have his kids? That's that's a a tough question. And so my question to you did you feel like you had to fight to prove your worthiness of being a dad during that time? Uh and what was that like? Can you just share a little bit more about that?

SPEAKER_01 18:55

Yeah, yeah. And I mean, first and foremost, I want to definitely say that I'm not alone in that. I've had plenty of conversations with other fathers. Um, one of the things that was really consistent that we would talk about is that when we have our kids, it always felt like it was an event. It was like we had to make it fun, we had to make it interesting, we always had to make sure that they wanted to come back. You know, it's like you get so caught up in that and being quote unquote the fun parent that you lose the just helping your kid with the homework or just making sure they're in bed on time, or just being regular parents. You know, so during that time, when you come from a two-parent household, I have certain responsibilities, she has certain responsibilities. I have daughters, I'm not doing their hair, not because I don't want to, but because I've never had hair, I don't know how to do it. Like it's going to look horrible. But at the same time, just being a man in the house, I always take the trash out. You know, you you have different levels of responsibility. So the thing for me is that I had to be all of it. Like now I'm putting pigtails together and making sure that we ate breakfast, we brushed our teeth, I gotta do your hair, make sure your clothes look good, and I had to go above and beyond, uh at least I felt at that time, because people knew that they were with me. They knew when I was dropping them off. I remember one time early on, I dropped the girls off to school, and their mom uh said one of the teachers was like, Oh, I knew that that she was with her dad because her hair looked bad. So after hearing that, I was like, oh no, that's I'm I'm gonna make sure I can do their hair and make sure they look presentable in public every single time we go out. So it's it's you put forth an extra effort because you don't feel worthy, especially when it's a situation where it's so easy for someone to say, okay, this is your time with your kids. Like literally just look at you, go, this is your time with your kids, and you go, is you have to question yourself, is that all I'm deserving of? Like, can I handle them on my own if I had more time? If they are literally with me for a week, are they gonna survive? You know, so yes, definitely a challenge, definitely something that I felt at that point in time. But the more you do it, the more you go, look, one, I don't know what I'm doing, but nobody else does either. Like everybody that you thought was a super parent really isn't. We're all out here struggling together, but like you said before, you you keep going, you keep going to work and it will work itself out.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

I'm glad that you said that because I wanted to say, guess what? I don't know what the I'm doing either. Okay. I I question still to this day if I should be a mom. And that's crazy because I am. Um, but I I do. I'm just like, what am I doing? What am I doing? Am I doing a good job? Is she gonna survive? Am I gonna survive? Am I gonna have to cuss her out? You know? So I I'm glad that you said that because even as a mom, Sometimes I say to myself, I think that D's doing a better job than me. You know? So it it is very, it's very much real. Like, am I worthy of keeping this child alive? But I always go back to remembering that this is who God sent, you know? God made me her parent, and he did that for a reason. I guess I am worthy, and then we're gonna learn this together. We don't have a choice but to show up to work every day. Every day.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

Exactly. One of the things with your kids, the only thing that you can really give them is what you have. So I've the way that I kind of look at parenting is as long as I'm giving you everything that I have, then I'm doing my job. This is actually a conversation that I had with my grandmother. Um had to be like a month, maybe two months before she passed. So we're sitting there talking, it's just her and I, and she was really down in the sense that she felt like she was failing her kids, like that there was still more to be done, more to teach, more to do with her grown ass kids. Like she was still worried about them. And that was exactly, I don't never really give my grandmother advice. Like it's usually the other way around. But I at that moment I told her, I was like, you gave them everything you had. So as long as you've given them everything you have, there's no way that you can fail them. Because if you could have given them more, whether it was more time, more money, more advice, more energy, more anything in life, you would have given it, but you gave them everything you had. And that's just how I look at it. My kids, unfortunately, they know this. But if I have it, they have it. Even if they don't want it, I'll need to give you all the knowledge, experience, everything I got, you're gonna get this too.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

You're gonna learn today. Yes. Um, that was really a sweet moment.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

Not gonna like it, but you're gonna get it.

SPEAKER_00 24:03

You're gonna get it because that's what we're here for. We are here to give you all the knowledge we have, all the the materials that we have, even though sometimes it's a little much and I want to retract it. Like I shouldn't have given you that because you're acting different, but that's another story. Um, we give all the love that we have, all of it. It's just yeah. Um yeah. And and I love the fact that you did say she gives me life because that is so true. She gives me life. And I I'm here because of my child. Who knows if I would have made it after 2019? Because there were some times and some thoughts in my mind the year before that, before she came that who knows where I would have been. But because of her, I have to thrive. Like I have to look forward and keep moving and keep pushing. Let's talk about as a man, you said that you felt like you were being controlled um when it came to how you could parent and couldn't parent your children. What were the strategies and the tools that you had to use to get over that? And not in a way like get over it, it doesn't matter, but like overcome it. What did you do to overcome that feeling? Because as a man, that had to be hard where you you did not have full control. You went from being uh a husband, a provider, a protector, the man of the house, to now I have to wait to to for you to tell me that I'm allowed to see these human beings that I created. And then even in the um when your third child came. Explain feeling like you were being controlled to where you are today.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

So for me, it was it was the kids. Like it literally was my girls. They I've always I won't talk to them in terms of like the ins and outs of relationships I have with their mothers, but I try to be as blunt and open and honest with them as I possibly can. And they were both basically telling me that we need more time, like we we need to be over here more. And you know, I would try to talk around it like you know, girls want the same thing, but I don't want to cause any trouble, and I just want everything to work, and I don't want to upset anybody. It doesn't matter if you upset anybody. I go, Do you know who I'm talking about? They go, Yeah, you're gonna make our mom mad, but you're our dad. That that phrase right there, like you're our dad, was a thing for me because that is a relationship that I have with them, that they have with me. If I'm no longer in a relationship with their mother, we don't have that dynamic anymore. I don't, I'm not anything to them really on a day-to-day basis. So when she said that to me, I was like, you know what? I'm your dad. So I have to make sure that this relationship is what it's supposed to be. And at that point in time, I was still legally married. So what I realized is I don't have to concede my time because we are still legally married, living in two different households. So I basically just told her, I was like, listen, we're not doing this every other weekend thing anymore. I'm gonna get them on Monday, drop them off on Monday, and that's just what it's gonna be. Remember the first time that we were supposed to do that. I said yes, she whatever. She rang the doorbell to come pick up the girls. I did not answer the door. I did not answer the door. And I finally go downstairs and like, yeah, they're they're gonna stay the week, like I said, because well, they're not. I'm gonna call the law, I'm gonna do XYZ, and I go, go ahead. Well, she made some phone calls and realized that I still had the same level of custody rights that she had because we were still legally married. So shortly thereafter, the actual divorce was filed. And I get a lawyer and I'm thinking this is gonna be expensive. I'm gonna spend all this money, and I'm maybe the best I can hope for is every other weekend. After all the hostility, the mediator comes in and he tells us how everything is gonna work. He says, Hey, I'm gonna go in the room with her for a while, um, and then I'm gonna come back and I'm gonna come to you, and we're gonna, you know, talk about everything. You guys do not have to come to an agreement today, but if you do, it makes the process easier, blah, blah, blah. He goes, spends about 10-15 minutes with her, comes back, and the first thing he says and goes, Okay, so she says that you're a really great dad, so that's great. And she wants to do 50-50 custody and blah, blah, blah. And I go, Well, shit, we didn't even need to come to y'all if we were just gonna agree. You know, I the whole time I was preparing for a fight for custody, and you know, whatever it was with her that kicked in, she was like, Yeah, this is the right thing for us. So just my girl saying, You're our dad, is what the trigger was for me, and saying, Okay, I need to put my foot down and act like your daddy and not like your mama's whatever we want to call me, weak individual that I was acting like.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

Well, I'm glad you stepped up. Yeah, it is it's it's beautiful to see fathers actively involved in their kids' lives. It's beautiful to know that they have those relationships. And and I'm saying that because you know, you know, I didn't have that presence. And I know that you didn't have that active presence of a man who was an example of what a love from a father to a child was supposed to look like. So it was like it's a yearning that we have as children, and I'm glad that you didn't allow that hostility to get in the way. What is the parenting like today? Has it been mended a little bit between you and mom?

SPEAKER_01 30:03

So today is honestly kind of easy. Like it's it's really easy with my ex-wife, my two big girls. Again, it's it's like we co-parent to a certain extent. Like if there's things that are important, uh, doctor's appointments, school stuff, um, behavioral issues, things of that nature, like we'll communicate on. Um, but honestly, most of it is just directly with our kids. It's where are you gonna be, what time both of us are tracking their locations and things of that nature. So we always know what's going on with the kids, even if we're not directly communicating. Um I mean, I'm being frank, I probably had more conversations with her boyfriend than I've had with her in the last couple of years. Like it's just it's unnecessary for us to really go back and forth, not really hostility there, but it's because we're not really friends either. It's just it is what it is. We are their parents, we don't have to be anything to each other. Um, with my youngest, that one has been rocky. Like, that's has been rocking mainly because it's just so new and so fresh. Um, but in the past year, we've been able to ourselves establish a friendship. And it's more necessary with her because she's four years old. So everything that she needs, every communication still has to go through the parents. Right. So by us being able to have a relationship, have a dynamic and communication and being cordial with each other. Let me let me not say cordial, because that's not a fair assessment. To genuinely redevelop a friendship is what we've done. It has made it so much easier to be co-parents and being able to be there for Charlie. Um, because it's one of those things to where, because of distance, like she's not right near me, we can't do the 50-50. Logistically, we can't make that work. So I have to go out there and spend time with her when I don't have the big girls. You know, I could get her on the weekends. So it's a lot of adjustments and making that work, which is why we have to be solid with one another until she's old enough to just kind of come and go as she pleases, which which legitimately would be when she's driving herself. Like that's when we would be able to make that happen. Or if I just pick up once the big girls are a little older and just move out there, you know, once they're they're out of high school.

SPEAKER_00 32:29

What is that dynamic like having two teenagers in high school and now having really she's still in a toddler face, she's an older toddler at this point, transitioning into a little girl. What is the dynamic between the the age gap? You laugh.

SPEAKER_01 32:48

It's um it's funny because it's actually easier with her at this age than it was with the other ones, you know. And I think most of that just has to do with experience, you know, knowing what to expect, and also having two big girls who are not only can help out with her, but can reinforce things. So it's hey, we what do we eat? We get the table. Oh, maybe you're going to the potty, you know, your hands, brush your teeth, you know. Oh, we don't do that, we don't run here. Oh, hold my hand when we go into the store. So it's easier having someone that it's obviously enough that they ain't listened to me, but they're in reinforcing the same rules that I applied to them when they were that age. So it's it feels like a cheat code. I mean, honestly, the the hardest part was just the dynamic in the relationship between me and her mom. But as we've smooth that over, the rest of it is just it's kind of easy. It's kind of easy now.

SPEAKER_00 33:49

That's awesome. That is awesome. The cheat code, the ultimate cheat code, have teenagers and then pop out another child. I'm gonna say no thank you on that. I don't want to cheat. I don't want to cheat. No thank you. And just imagine.

SPEAKER_01 34:08

I love I love that kid to death, but she's a magician. Your mom I U V disappear, and here we are.

SPEAKER_00 34:13

So one of the things you said, and this will be the last question before we move on to our game. But one of the things you said was that people knew when your kids were with you. And I find that funny, um, but probably really real. What would you like to say to those people now that you have done what it takes to make it seamless whenever you had your girls versus when mom had the girls? If you wanted to stick it to the man and say to these people anything, I'm giving you the mic.

SPEAKER_01 34:55

Okay, so honestly, nothing. Nothing. Because at the end of the day, it was never about them, it was about my girls. Like, I don't even now, like, I don't really care what somebody else is thinking about how I'm raising my kids. Like somebody else can say, Oh, you're a great dad, how would you know? There's really no way to know whether I'm a good father or a good or bad dad. Um, that's for my my kids to say. So if as long as they feel like I always show up for them, then I'm good. Um and anybody said back then who was like, oh well, I know they were with their dad. Exactly. They were they were with their dad who was who was trying, and he kept trying and continues to try no matter how many times he fails and messes up. I'm I'm gonna be here tomorrow messing up.

SPEAKER_00 35:45

I like that. That was a good response. I this was your opportunity to cuss them out if you had to, they wouldn't know. But thank you for sharing that. You your wisdom exudes in that response, and I love that because you know bump the haters, you know what I'm saying? It's none of their business what's going on up in here. We are going to move on to tea time, and um, I'm gonna pull up the the clock so that we can move on to tea time. Tea time. But before we actually get into the tea time game, I do want to thank you for joining us and for sharing your story. I know we could really dig deeper into your story, but because of time, we cannot today. But I appreciate you being vulnerable and honest and just, you know, allowing us to get a get to know your parenting journey a little bit today. So thank you. I I I always want to respect men and the role that they play because there are men, like I said earlier, there are men who are out there and who are really doing this thing called parenthood. And then there are other people that are just like, uh, you know, they're out there. So I respect and honor those men. So thank you for coming to the show to share your story. We are going to jump on to tea time. Tea time is a game of rapid fire and we have three minutes on the clock. And Ladon or boss, as I'm allowed to call him, will have three minutes to answer as many questions as he can in those three minutes. We will get a little bit more insight into who he is, who he is. So, boss, are you ready to play?

SPEAKER_01 37:41

Of course. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_00 37:43

Let's do it. Three minutes on the clock. First question What is the last TV show or movie you binge watched?

SPEAKER_01 37:50

The last TV show or movie I binge watched. Technically, it's Stranger Things because we just started rewatching it. And uh the big one, she was like, I'm gonna watch it while you're out. And we get a few minutes into an episode. She's like, I'm turning this off as soon as you leave. I need to watch Phineas and Ferr. Like she got scared. So, yes, Stranger Things.

SPEAKER_00 38:09

Okay, next question. This is a big one. You see a social media post of a controversial parenting choice. Are you the perfect parent? Troll is what I call them, or are you the gotta figure out what works for you, parent?

SPEAKER_01 38:22

Definitely gotta figure out what works for you. Um, just like any other relationship, that dynamic between you and your kid or your kids, your children, that's on y'all. So do what works that they're safe, they're taken care of, um, but you're not driving yourself absolutely crazy, and you're not creating little demon children to send out into the rest of the world.

SPEAKER_00 38:41

I love that response. If you could give your younger self advice, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01 38:46

Uh huge nerd, and just the way that things work, I can't give myself advice because then I won't be me to give myself that advice. So nothing. My he's got to figure it out. He's just gotta figure it out to become who's he's who he's gonna be.

SPEAKER_00 39:02

I like that. What's the worst piece of advice you ever received?

SPEAKER_01 39:07

Worst piece of advice ever received? I don't know. It probably has something to do with um, it's it's cheaper to keep her. I've I've heard that one a lot. Yeah, yeah. Your happiness is priceless. So go. Go.

SPEAKER_00 39:24

Name one book, podcast, or resource that's changed your perspective.

SPEAKER_01 39:28

Oh, one but I'm gonna we're gonna go ahead and say uh resource here, and I'm gonna say chat GPT because I can research and look at anything in real time and and take deep dives. So chat GPT, that's that's my best friend right now.

SPEAKER_00 39:42

I hated it at first, but I'm I'm I'm getting down with the get down. Name your life's Broadway play.

SPEAKER_01 39:49

My life's Broadway play. Uh ooh, maybe he'll figure it out. There we go. That that would be what we would call my Broadway play.

SPEAKER_00 39:59

Okay. What is your go-to comfort food?

SPEAKER_01 40:03

Probably blueberry pancakes, homemade. Like, I don't I don't do um what do you call it? The uh the mix, the box. So homemade blueberry pancakes, maple syrup, yes.

unknown 40:21

Oh car.

SPEAKER_01 40:22

Do you cook boss? Preferably if somebody else makes them, but I haven't found somebody who makes them as good as me. So they're they're my pancakes at this point.

SPEAKER_00 40:29

Okay, all right. Last question. The timer did end, but I I um wanted to get this one in. If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01 40:39

That is a a very, very good question. Um, probably construction, to be honest with you. Like, I I would love to be like a a master carpenter. Um, I'm I'm okay right now, but I would love to be a master carpenter.

SPEAKER_00 40:54

You've done a lot of awesome things I've seen on social media. If you live closer, I would be hitting you up quite often. Um so speaking of construction, can you tell us what your handle is at Control Alt Assemble?

SPEAKER_01 41:12

Yeah, so Control Alt is Assemble is a a company that I I started technically last year. Uh, and it started just like furniture assembly. Like you go to IKEA, you don't want to put it together, or you got a honeydew list and you have a boo, you call me and I take care of it. Um, and it's just been kind of growing and growing since then. Uh so that is that is my company page, that's my handle across social media. Um, as of right now, I've been doing a lot of uh closet installations, um, custom builds. Um, we restore furniture, and of course, you know, we'll do your flat pack stuff. Um, I've found myself on top of like 18-foot scaffolding putting in curtain rods. So a lot of different things need to be done. And I I realize I could utilize my skill set and get it taken care of, and I don't have to be in an office anymore. So it's it's actually been extremely liberating that I get to I take my kids to work with me, you know. So again, I I really don't do anything else in life except for spend time with my kids and make dope shit. And some way, somehow, I'm doing that and I'm eating off of it. So that's that's my company. If you are in Atlanta area, um hit me up. I I probably can fix it. And if I can't, I I have some people who can.

SPEAKER_00 42:26

So again, I want to thank you so much for just you know coming on and sharing your heart, pouring out to this. Have you ever done a podcast before?

SPEAKER_01 42:36

No, I've listened to many. So, what do they used to say back when they would be on the radio and be like a long time listener, first-time caller? That's that's that's me right now.

SPEAKER_00 42:45

Awesome. Well, you did amazing and I appreciate it. Consider it again, because you definitely have the wisdom and the learner experience that you need to be on a podcast. So I appreciate it. And again, like I always love bringing on dads because we get to hear that perspective that we don't know about. We don't typically ask what the dads are going through or what they're thinking. So I thank you for saying, hey, yeah, I want to talk about what I went through and I want to share with the world what other dads might be experiencing. It's it's very valuable to this space. At this time, I do want to give you back the floor. If you have any more encouragement left to give to share with our parents, our caregivers, moms, dads, whoever, mostly dads, though. What would you give for our dads to take away as words of encouragement?

SPEAKER_01 43:37

Well, definitely for my dads, is just keep going. Like you're not gonna be perfect. It's not gonna look like the way that you want it to look all the time, but just keep going because your kids recognize and they will appreciate it. Not now, don't expect it now, but they will appreciate it later. And and to the moms, and more specifically, like in situations where the you're not with the dad, is just remember that. That's not your relationship, you know. Not even just from the sense of don't be a gatekeeper, but also you can't force that relationship with the child and the father either. Like that is for them to manage, for them to curate and cultivate. Um, your job is just to make sure that they can. That's it. That's it. It's not your relationship to manage. So everybody do what they're supposed to do, and you you find balance, and that's what the world is about. If the kid can't be in a situation where they have both parents living at home, at least give them the next best thing to where they have access to both parents as they they want and as they need. So I think it's both parents' responsibility to do that.

SPEAKER_00 44:47

That was awesome advice for both mom and dad. Just as a reminder, um LaDon said earlier, make sure you keep showing up to work, dads. That's that's critical. But moms, we cannot block and we cannot control the relationship that dads are having with their kids. Open the door for the dads to walk through and have those honest, authentic relationships with their children. And I think it'd be just easier for all of us: moms, dads, children alike. It would be a much better world and a much easier management of relationships. So thank you for sharing those uh words of encouragement to our parents. What is next for you? And how can listeners connect with you after today's episode?

SPEAKER_01 45:32

What is next for me? Um, in the very, very short term, I'm going to uh go home and deal with the kid that's there. There's always a kid at home. Um, and then in the longer term, I'm gonna keep working. Um, I'm gonna keep building out my company. Um try to work with my kids as much as possible. They're gonna be taking over my social media very, very sure they're already working on that. Um, to invoice the emotion for them um to just have something, like leave them something if they sell the business after years, that's up to them. So long term is just like I said before, spend time with my kids, make dope shit. That's all I want to do. And uh, as far as like where to find me, my business page, control alt assemble. That's where I will post, that's where I will show all of the uh the beautiful things that I create. And um, maybe every now and then I'll jump on there myself and say something stupid. You never know.

SPEAKER_00 46:35

I like it. Control alt assemble, and we will make sure to have all of those links in the description below. So make sure you check out Ladon Hall, control alt assemble, especially if you are in the area where he is and he can come and help you rebuild that shit that you don't want to build by yourself. So I have three questions that I always ask parents because I'm just kind of getting some data and trying to see if we're all on the same page. So the first question I want to ask you is parenting hard?

SPEAKER_01 47:08

Uh absolutely, absolutely, hardest thing I've ever done. And somehow, for some reason, I keep doing it.

SPEAKER_00 47:14

I don't know that part. It is the hardest thing I've ever done, too. I feel you on that. But are they still standing?

SPEAKER_01 47:21

Oh, yeah, yeah. Keep doing it.

unknown 47:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:24

So, what do you want to proudly tell our listeners today?

SPEAKER_01 47:28

I'm a dad that's nailing it.

SPEAKER_00 47:31

If you like this episode and you want to hear more real personal parenting stories, make sure you subscribe to my social media at nailed at motherhood podcasts on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. And don't forget to follow us on your favorite podcast platform so you will never miss an episode. We also have a website, nailed it motherhoodpodcast.com, your one-stop shop for all things Nailed It Motherhood, including our brand new Nailed It Motherhood shop, where you can grab journals, merch, and more to support your parenting journey. We welcome your questions, comments, and ideas, and we certainly hope to keep this conversation going. Until next time, keep on doing what it is you do.