In his despair, Hashim finds hope in his faith.
Please go to henrikwilenius.com for more info.
In his despair, Hashim finds hope in his faith.
Please go to henrikwilenius.com for more info.
While the words ricocheted in the grand dome, hashim kept his head low and said a silent prayer asking for mercy, like he had done thousands of times since realizing he was gay.
Speaker 2:My name is Henrik Vilengis and I'm the author of the Rise Up Trilogy, a young adult coming of age story about Hashim, Alex and Marian confront in real life issues like climate change, corrupt politics, animal cruelty and racial and gender equity. This sweetly serialized audiobook podcast is narrated by Scott Summers.
Speaker 1:With a sinking feeling, hashim flattened the pillow against his chest. He had thought he could make mom listen. His attempt to avoid a doomed marriage had been an epic fail. Furthermore, he had let Mariam and Alex believe he wasn't merely another loser Burying his face in the bed covers. He thought he'd never be able to show his face again. He hoped the tears would come to ease his angst, but they never came when he really needed them. Besides, something in the back of his mind was nagging him to stop whining.
Speaker 1:With a long sigh, he heaved himself up, spotting the picture of the cobblestone on the wall. He shuddered, since he could remember his biggest aspiration in life had been a pilgrimage to Mecca, the holy city of Islam. How could he ever be pure enough to kiss the cobblestone as the prophet had done? But even the idea of not fulfilling his lifelong dream and the duty of every able Muslim couldn't make him cry. What was wrong with him? Getting up from the bed made his head spin. As he reached out to his desk to study himself, he saw the gift his father had given him, with instructions not to tell mom. He ripped off the paper and gasped. It was a collection of poems and quotes by Rumi, the famous Muslim Sufi poet. He remembered how his former teacher used to read snippets of Rumi's wisdom in Quran class. However, since the petrodollars had flooded their congregation, rumi's texts were banished as heretical and the great master was never mentioned again. Whatever happened to the principal that you should never call another believer an infidel? As he was taught as a child, dad had written something at the top of the inside cover page Dear son, all books reveal perfection by what they are or are not. He read out loud May you find what you seek in these pages or outside them. In the words of the great poet, I searched for God and found only myself. I searched for myself and found only God. Hashim put the book down with a day's expression. Tipping his head back, he smiled Okay enough, dear God, I get the message.
Speaker 1:Hashim studied his face in the elevator mirror and touched his hair. It felt so different, all shortened to so. He had never imagined the change would be so huge. Somehow he had never paid too much attention to his facial features, his high cheekbones and prominent jaw. Letting his hair grow had been a subconscious choice. When, at the age of 13, he had first realized he was attracted to boys, he had sworn to keep himself clean.
Speaker 1:At the same time, the soft spoken, ambiguous Haji Khalil had been fired by the Gulf Fund that would finance the construction of the imposing all new mosque. Then Haji Khalil's replacement started spewing dogma from the lectern, detailing a clear path to salvation and redemption, which was exactly what Hashim needed for his troubled soul. Soon, a visiting mullah from Cairo recognized Hashim's religious zeal. He was invited to attend special lectures given only to a few chosen ones. He was instructed to progressively isolate himself from the rest of American society for the sake of his purity. When that was accomplished, he had to cut ties with Muslims who do not adhere to the same strict code of conduct. After a while, hashim realized this would include his own father, whose silent opposition to petrol Islam taking over their community he had tried to ignore. Hashim struck a deal with God that he would devote himself to practicing Islam as it had been done by the first three generations after the Prophet Muhammad, if God would allow him to maintain a relationship with his father.
Speaker 1:Stygression from the spirit of his deal with God appeared only two years later when he met Alex. His new friend pushed him to go to the in-house gym and stop eating donuts and drinking copious amounts of sugary beverages. Hashim was awed by the quick hardening of his body. There was a glitch, though. Later on, during the visit, the Mullah told him that going to the gym was a sin because it might provoke sexual desires to opposite sex. Although Hashim knew that this didn't apply to him, as he felt zero attraction to girls, he could hardly tell that to the Mullah. Therefore, hashim decided to wear loose clothes so that nobody would notice his growing muscles, and to add more fervor to his appearance, he let his hair grow in the Mujahideen style, like he had seen in the Jihadist warrior videos that the Mullah had shown in the basement of the mosque. Although asked to flaunting a fiery beard, he still had to wait until the fuzziness on his jaw evolved into furriness. Unfortunately, his drive for purity came to nothing. All the praying in the world couldn't deliver him from the lust he felt toward hunky men. However, now it was time to change tactics. Instead of trying to hide from the devil, he was going to face it head on.
Speaker 1:The elevator door swept open, hashim took a deep breath and stepped out. Beyond the glass wall lay a vast open space dotted with latest training machines. Hashim hopped on a cross trainer, throwing sideways glances at the free weight area, where his buffed tormentor usually trained with a slender side kick. He gazed through the 15th floor picture window at his Midwestern city below. He tried visualizing how his muscles were working together in perfect unison, but somehow he couldn't put his mind into it. There was too much at stake now. What he decided in the next 24 hours would affect the rest of his life. However, first he had to find out the truth about these inconvenient feelings. Was this infatuation with the masculine form only a figment of his imagination, created by the devil to make him stray from the path to God? Or wasn't an attribute of his being that God had intentionally instilled in him? If he couldn't answer that question, his personal jihad would fail miserably.
Speaker 1:Hashim jumped off the cross trainer, gulp down some water, sniffed his armpits to make sure he didn't stink, and headed toward the free weight area. Noll was planted on a bench underneath a sleeveless gym shirt. Justin Noll, psychic, stood behind him, watching Noelle's every move. Noelle grabbed the bar and let it drop to his chest, inhale, exhale and up it went. Hashim wanted to wait until Noelle had finished, but Justin spotted him by the doorway and flashed a knowing smile, dumping the bar to the rack with a clunk, noelle sprang up hey look who's here. He said and wiped his face with a towel.
Speaker 1:Hashim's gaze went from Noelle's glistening biceps to his chiseled face. Dude, I love your new hair. Noelle continued and stood up. Hashim bit down his smile. Justin could fold. My God, that is so cute, he's blushing. Happy birthday, big boy. Noelle said and slapped Hashim's palm. He remembered Hashim could hardly contain his grin anymore.
Speaker 1:I think we're gonna skip the singing part, though, noelle said. Hashim chuckled. He felt like running a victory lap and he was never going to wash his hand again. What you don't wanna hear us sing? Justin pursed his lips in a mock surprise. Yes, I mean, no, I mean Ha, just kidding. Justin said and smiled. Noelle tilted his head back and laughed.
Speaker 1:Soon Hashim joined them, at first with some effort, then wholeheartedly. Noelle exchanged a conspiratorial look with Justin before he said would you like to come up for a drink this evening? Hashim froze this can't be happening. Had he been whisked to an alternate universe? Then the sound of Justin cracking up penetrated his bubble Soon, followed up by visuals of Justin holding his stomach laughing, or Noelle's big brown eyes still fixed on him Waiting for the answer.
Speaker 1:Hashim inhaled through his nose and felt Noelle's manly odor in his nostrils. He could actually hear his own heart beating 100 miles an hour. You serious, you really mean that? Sure man, come on over. Hashim exhaled, but then his smile frosted over. I forgot. Alex is throwing me a birthday party. That's very nice of him. He must be somebody very special. Justin said and winked Hashim Winston lowered his head, frowning. Noelle said that's too bad.
Speaker 1:After mulling it over for a moment, hashim bounced from foot to foot. But I could come after the party around midnight. He reasoned that he didn't have to stay with his friends the whole night. By midnight many of his friends will be drunk or high, as usual. That was the time for him to make his exit anyway. Flashing a smile, noelle said midnight is good. Just come upstairs and let's go from there. Awe reminds me of a fairy tale. I, noelle, shot a glare at Justin, who promptly shut his mouth. Great Hashim just stood there nodding and beaming until he realized his time was up my legs. I need to, he said and bounced off. As he turned the corner, he heard Justin whisper rather loudly I think our spring chicken is ready to leave the coop. He had never heard the expression before, but he got the meaning. With the spring in his step, hashim headed for the leg press machine.
Speaker 1:And what's so funny? Miriam asked Hashim as she cut the tomatoes into little cubes. It was close to six o'clock in the evening. They were preparing food for his birthday party in Alex's kitchen. His father had promised to stay away until midnight.
Speaker 1:Hashim raised his eyes from the pan in which he was frying chicken bits. What You're smiling? Miriam said and studied Hashim's face. What's going on? Fighting the urge to tell Miriam about Noelle? Hashim furrowed his brow. He knew that if he told even the most inconsequential details about his neighbor, miriam would sniff out the truth. She would know right away. And he was not ready to tell her yet.
Speaker 1:I just love white meat. Hashim blurted. From the way Miriam pressed her lips tight. He knew he had made a wrong illusion. I mean, you love the mutilated carcass of Daisy Duck? Think about it. But it's lean meat, no extra calories, and it's a great source of protein. Miriam pointed her finger to the big plates of hummus and kashari on the kitchen table. You've got enough of that right there. I need animal protein too. Hashim said, his voice wavering. No, you don't. There are tons of vegan or vegetarian bodybuilders out there.
Speaker 1:Trying not to smile, hashim knew he was in for a lecture, a sort of poetic justice for his little lie. Miriam leaned forward. Did you know? These poor creatures live in their own shit, and to ward off the viruses they're pumped up full of antibiotics, and that's one of the reasons we've become so resistant to them. And you want to be a doctor? Think about uh-oh, I'm interrupting something. Alex peeked in from the doorway. Miriam glared at him, but before she could say anything the doorbell rang, saved by the bell, alex said. Before clearing out.
Speaker 1:Hashim bit his lower lip. It was true what Miriam was saying, but he had had enough on his own plate to deal with. He only wanted to forget about the cruel world and have a little downtime, daydreaming about Noel and him and the night they were going to spend together. Was it too much to ask? Touching his own cheek, hashim tried to imagine how Noel's skin would feel. Probably it felt quite the same as his. They were both smooth. The only body hair he had seen was the fine line of silky hair rising towards his navel. Sometimes, when Noel lay on the bench and his gym shirt had slipped up, bearing his taut midsection.
Speaker 1:Hashim saw that Miriam had turned her glare on him, so he offered a lamb-like smile. Miriam groaned. I asked why do you need so much protein? I just do, hashim said, shuffling his feet. Why? Hashim pursed his lips Because your arms are thicker than Alex's thighs, isn't that enough? Hashim sighed. Miriam wouldn't understand. Compared to Noel, he was a beanpole. The expression on Miriam's face went all soft.
Speaker 1:Hashi, you know what? You're? A handsome, intelligent and compassionate young man. A real catch, I would say. Your mother is living in the past. For her, the modern world is a scary place. Her mentality is like she never left the village of her birth. Hashim glanced at Miriam. Yeah, what can I do? You know that in the Quran there are three times more passages urging mindful awareness over mere submission. Hashim flipped chicken bits to the other side. But that's what the word Islam means submission. Submission to the will of God, not to some pre-Islamic desert tribalism. Miriam said in a gentle tone. The spatula stopped in the midair as Hashim fluttered his eyelashes. Hashim had never thought of it in that way. Hashim had never thought of it in that way.
Speaker 2:Thank you for listening to the Rise Up trilogy podcast. For more information, go to my website, henrikvillenewscom.