Maryam comes to rescue as Hashim lies in ruins, finding the right words to help him to open a door to a brave new world.
Please go to henrikwilenius.com for more info.
Maryam comes to rescue as Hashim lies in ruins, finding the right words to help him to open a door to a brave new world.
Please go to henrikwilenius.com for more info.
While the words ricocheted in the grand dome, hashim kept his head low and said a silent prayer asking for mercy, like he had done thousands of times since realizing he was gay.
Speaker 2:My name is Henrik Vilengis and I am the author of the Rise Up Trilogy, a young adult coming of age story about Hashim, Alex and Marian confronting real life issues like climate change, corrupt politics, animal cruelty and racial and gender equity. This sweetly serialized audiobook podcast is narrated by Scott Summers 11.
Speaker 1:Hashim curled into a ball and wept silently. His thoughts were blank as he tried to remember a verse he could cling to. He felt like he was slipping into an abyss, his mind numb and powerless to fight back. He was in such distress that he didn't even hear the rooftop door opening and Miriam calling out for him. Only when she touched his cheek did she become aware of the world beyond his agony Bending over him.
Speaker 1:Miriam asked Are you okay? A light wind from the lake brought cooler air to the roof. Hashim swallowed and swallowed as he looked up and pursed his lips trying to say something, but the words got stuck in his throat, causing another wave of tears. Wearing a long sleeve shirt and jeans, he shivered as if the temperature had dropped significantly. Anyway, it was still warm enough for Miriam. In her thin oriental pants and matching blouse, she sat down and leaned over to hug him. After a while, the quivering stopped and the crying turned to an occasional sniff. Miriam straightened her back, took a tissue from the sleeve of her blouse and wiped his face, which was moist from a mixture of snot and tears, clearing his throat.
Speaker 1:Hashim said it just happened, i…. He turned his head away and gagged and gagged until he couldn't hold it back anymore. His birthday dinner spilled onto the ground as Miriam held him from behind On the couch. Hashim curled up in a ball and said I kissed him. He shot a sideways glance at Miriam with his still bloodshot eyes. Even after brushing his teeth and washing his face, he could still feel the pungent smell of vomit in his nose, although he had to admit that the act itself had done some good too. It had cleared his head. You don't seem surprised. Miriam shook her head. I didn't mean to. Hashim buried his face in his hands. He'll never forgive me. He had tried to make his escape after cleaning up the spot where he had puked, but Miriam wouldn't have any of it. Before they had a little talk.
Speaker 1:A talk he had wanted to avoid at all costs, as it brought back the shame that threatened to devour him. In all honesty, there had been times that he had fantasized about kissing Alex, but by the same token, he had always known it would never work. Nothing good would ever come out of it, because his best friend was straight, and an attempt to do it anyway would be a game changer that could very well destroy their friendship. Just give him time, he'll come around. Miriam dragged himself up to a sitting position. I don't have time. I'm leaving in ten days and tomorrow I'm getting engaged. He said, rocking back and forth. Don't give up yet. Not on him, not on yourself. Hesheen pushed himself up and shrugged. The words coming out of Merriam's mouth didn't offer any comfort as he took a step toward the door. Merriam caught his hand Don't go yet, just give me two more minutes. Hesheen turned and exhaled loudly. The firm look on her face finally did its magic and he sat back down, not letting go of his hand. Merriam said you know, you are what Allah made you. He knows your areas of weakness, even the darkness you cannot see. And right now he's testing you.
Speaker 1:And what happened to the people of Lot, said Hesheen, he slaughtered them all for their sins. No more Sodom and Gomorrah. Those people were rapists and highway robbers. They broke the key code of conduct of our faith hospitality. Merriam pressed her lips together. How can I be Muslim and gay? There is no such a thing and I cannot turn my back on my faith. I would rather die than. The prophet never punished anybody for homosexual acts. Merriam cut in. Actually, he had a male servant attending to his wife who was known for not being attracted to women. Everybody knew this. Do you think he would have allowed this man into his household if he hated gays?
Speaker 1:Hesheen bit his lower lip and ran his fingers through his hair. He was stunned by Merriam's audacity in making her own interpretation of the old texts. That was not the way he was used to, especially from a woman. In fact, this kind of talk was what he had been warned against. Of course, hesheen knew quite a few families that had stopped coming to the mosque when the new Imam took over. Instead, they opted to pray in private homes or, on some Fridays, in a Christian church in the western suburbs, which was considered blasphemous by many of the mosque.
Speaker 1:O my servants who have transgressed against their souls. Merriam recited from memory as Hesheen jerked his head back, his mouth falling open Do not despair of the mercy of God, for God forgives all sins, for he is oft forgiving, most merciful. Holding his breath, hesheen leaned closer to Merriam before his face went soft and he gave a long exhale. I never thought you would take up hurling verses, merriam smirked. Don't tell anybody, it would ruin my reputation. With a writhe smile, hesheen shook his head. Then his body stiffened. He couldn't share the smile anymore as he remembered his predicament.
Speaker 1:Despite Merriam's powerful words, the people in his community still believed being gay was a sin. He was lower than the animal, as the Imam had said. That morning. Merriam reached for Hesheen's arm. Everything's going to be all right. But if it isn't, he rubbed the back of his neck. I don't wanna be alone again. He won't, merriam said and stroked his forearm. Hesheen leaned back. You don't know what it's like. Nobody sees you, hears you or talks to you, as if you're not even there. It's worse than death.
Speaker 1:His last two years in junior high had been the worst. Even his Muslim brothers had stopped greeting him in the hallways, not wanting to be associated with Osama, as he had been mockingly called by the time he started the high school, the bullies had found new targets, but the stigma had stayed. Hesheen was still considered a weirdo for his refusal to curse, to dress like the other boys and to compromise the central principles of his faith, such as regular prayers and fasting during Ramadan. You have so many friends, merriam said. No, they're all through, alex, every single one of them. I was this invisible, fat little Arab boy who-? Hashim sniffed. He changed me, dragged me to the gym and introduced me to people.
Speaker 1:Miriam squeezed Hashim's shoulder. Sorry, I didn't know. Her family had moved from the East Coast two years earlier and she really didn't know what had happened. Before her time. Nobody wanted to talk about it, least of all those who used to give Hashim a hard time. Now that he had been the best friend of one of the popular boys in school, the past was easily forgotten, except by Hashim. The memory of those hard times had stayed imprinted in his heart.
Speaker 1:Shaking his head, hashim winced and my family will never accept me as a gay person. God is testing them too. Miriam said in a steady, lower pitched voice. He is testing how much they love you. They have to accept you as the person you are, not the person they want you to be. Hashim, swallowed hard. How do you know that, as a Muslim woman, I'm going through the same struggle? Actually, we all do, every single human being. It doesn't matter what faith, gender, race or sexuality. It's a journey toward God, or, as some call it, self-realization. Unfortunately, many people are too afraid to face their demons, so they'd rather bury them and blame others for their misfortunes. These people are the one who raised the bullies and the racists of this world. Hashim's eyes lit up. I searched for God and found only myself. I searched for myself and found only God. Miriam gasped and broke into a smile. That's Rumi. I didn't know. You read him. He's one of my favorites. My dad gave me a book of his for my birthday. Miriam tilted her head to the side.
Speaker 1:Your dad Hm now that I think about it. I'm not surprised. The few times I've met him, he always struck me as a kind and reasonable man. It must be your mom who's the revivalist one. Hashim nodded and gave her a bleak smile. Hashim looked up at their apartment on the 10th floor. His parents' bedroom windows flickered with a bluish light. His mother was probably getting her daily dose of Egyptian soaps.
Speaker 1:Her native country was the main provider of historical, epic love stories in the Arab world. When he was younger he had sometimes watched them with her, but stopped as they stirred up too many unwanted longings. He found himself more attracted to the handsome heroes than to the fair ladies. Rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans, hashim marched to the entrance. Before entering he took a deep breath and mumbled a short prayer. As he walked to the elevator he was surprised about how calm he felt. Talking to Miriam had done wonders. It had given him the courage to do what he was about to do. He had to take a leap of faith because there was no turning back.
Speaker 1:In the elevator he checked himself in the mirror. Miriam had found some vizine in Alex's bathroom to clear the red from his eyes and some listerine to rinse his mouth. He tussled his hair and smiled Soon. His body stiffened as the elevator passed the 10th floor. If his parents saw him now it would ruin his plans. He knew Dad would be in the study Late in the evening reading, as always. There was a very little chance of bumping into them at this time of night outside their apartment. Right before the door opened on the 15th floor, a thought occurred to him. Were the Sufi books the secret his father held behind the locked doors of his bookshelf? Was that the reason Dad always retreated to the study before going to sleep? When he thought about it, he couldn't remember his father ever voicing conservative views on Islam like his mother did, and he never talked about the sermons like everybody else did.
Speaker 1:When the elevator door started to close, hashim bolted out. The idea that his father was encouraging him to find his own path put a spring in his step as he walked to Noelle's door. He rang the bell and listened. It was totally quiet in the corridor. The building had superb insulation. The only thing he could hear was his own heart beating, and it was getting louder every second. Just as he was drying his sweaty palms on his jeans for the uptenth time, the door flung open Woof, justin said and pulled him in.
Speaker 1:Hushime was surprised that it was Justin who opened the door, not Noelle, and it kind of dampened his spirits. But then he reminded himself that Justin was Noelle's best friend. Of course Justin could receive guests too. His mouth fell open as he saw a large and splashy contemporary painting hanging next to a dark hardwood wardrobe, implying a level of sophistication he had only seen in movies.
Speaker 1:Sniffing the air, hushime realized he couldn't detect any smell in the apartment, which he found very unusual For him. It felt a little bit sad. An apartment without the smell of food spoke of a lonely existence. Nobody was there to take care of Noelle. Justin followed Hushime's darting gaze with mild amusement forming at the corners of his mouth. Hushime pointed at his shoes. Should I take these off? No, just your pants. Justin said dead pan.
Speaker 1:Hushime stared at Justin, his heart racing Only kidding, let me have your jacket. Justin tore the jacket off him, threw it on a chair and let him down the corridor to a spacious living room. Marvelling at the scarcity of furniture a low white couch, black easy chairs and coffee table and a transparent dining room table by the big picture windows. Hushime realized he and Noelle shared the same taste for simplicity. Hushime noted with mounting satisfaction that his room even shared the same color scheme as this black and white with dark hardwood floors. Besides the religious meaning it held for him, his enlarged photo of Kaaba taken from above pilgrims symmetrically circling the black holy stone could be viewed also as an abstract piece of art, like the painting on Noelle's wall.
Speaker 1:As Hushime stood in the middle of the room, tilting his head from side to side, he suddenly became aware of the two men giving him the once over. He needs some work, justin said. Noelle nodded. First. He needs a drink, a stiff one, don't we all? Justin said in chaché to a bar.
Speaker 1:Bowing his head, hushime buried his hands in his pocket. That pearly smile that lighted Noelle's gorgeous face was too much for him to bear. He licked his bottom lip to make sure he wasn't drooling. Come, come, I won't bite, noelle winked as Hushime looked up. Hushime willed his legs to move. Suddenly, everything he did felt terribly awkward. As he finally lowered his bottom onto the edge of the couch, his heart was bursting out of his rib cage, taking slow, deep breaths like he did before prayers. He was able to calm down somewhat, although he was too afraid to lean back in case he somehow tumbled and ended up face down in Noelle's lap. On second thought, that didn't sound so bad. That was the party Noelle asked. Hushime shifted his weight onto his left butt cheek. He had tried to push what had happened with Alex to the back of his mind, but now it all came back to him. What an epic fell it was, are you?
Speaker 2:all right.
Speaker 1:Noelle asked with a worried look. Looking up, hushime cleared his throat to say something. But just in arrived just in time to deliver him the drink Promptly. Hushime guzzled half of the transparent liquid. The ice cube was making a clinking sound as they hit the glass. When the alcohol hit his throat he almost choked. Noelle came to the rescue by slapping and rubbing his back while Hushime tried to catch his breath.
Speaker 1:Like a true gentleman, after he had removed the glass from Hushime's hands, noelle took a clean handkerchief out of his pocket and offered it to Hushime. What was that? Hushime asked when he was able to talk again Jenin Tonic, double, justin said. Hushime ran his hand through his hair. Double, no, it means a double portion of you don't drink much, do you? Noelle cut in. Hushime bit his lips. Actually he had never tasted hard liquor before, but he was not going to tell that to the guys. He was here for an adventure, not to talk about his religious commitment. Noelle turned to Justin Get him a wine cooler, please.
Speaker 1:Snatching the Jenin Tonic from the table, justin marched to a small fridge underneath the bar. Noelle offered an encouraging smile. It's okay, don't worry about it, noelle said, and let his hand rest on Hushime's back Now. First we've got to fix your hair in that shirt before I call the limo service For the first time. Hushime felt confident enough to look Noelle straight in the face and not be blinded by his dashing looks. Then he shrugged with a shy smile, realizing Noelle must really like him to go through all this trouble of inviting him along to a gay club.
Speaker 2:Thank you for listening to the Rise Up Trilogy podcast. For more information, go to my website henrikvillennuscom.