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Addiction Recovery
The Addiction Recovery Podcast is the ultimate destination for individuals battling addiction or supporting loved ones in their journey towards recovery. With a focus on providing informative, educational, and persuasive content, our podcast aims to engage and guide listeners towards healing and transformation.
Addiction Recovery
49: Struggling with Addiction--Don't Leave Before the Miracle
Recovery takes patience—and that’s something many of us find tough. In this episode, Steven T. Ginsburg breaks down the powerful meaning behind the phrase “don’t leave before the miracle,” and why it’s a game-changer for lasting sobriety.
We dive into a common trap in recovery: self-sabotage during the good times. Steven explains how many people struggle with the idea that they deserve peace, success, or stability. “It’s okay for things to be okay,” he says—a simple truth that’s surprisingly hard to accept when shame tells us we’re not worthy. That mindset can trigger relapse just when life is starting to look up.
We also talk about the other side: when recovery feels slow or even harder than using. Steven uses a down-to-earth lawn care analogy to show how healing often looks messier before it gets better. He puts it bluntly: “You want things to come together faster? Tell me how relapse will help with that.”
This episode is packed with honest insights about what it really takes to stay sober—faith, daily effort, and a willingness to stick it out through the rough patches. Whether you’re on your own recovery path or supporting someone else, Steven’s perspective offers clarity, encouragement, and real talk about the long-term payoff of staying the course.
Helpful Links:
Learn more about Restore Detox Centers
Filling the Void book by Steven T. Ginsburg
Overcoming the Fear and Lies of Addiction e-book
How to Love and Set Boundaries Without Enabling Addiction e-book
Call Us for Addiction Recovery: 1-800-982-5530
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It's when we work and we harvest and we are present in the solution that that mental defense exists and we find our way, and then they're in, by the way. That's where the miracle comes to fruition.
Steve Coughran:This is the Addiction Recovery Podcast with Steven T Ginsburg, founder of Restore Detox Centers in sunny California. Enjoy your experience, Steven. So great to be back together. We were gone for a minute, huh.
Steven Ginsburg:It was a little bit of a hiatus. Yes, sir.
Steve Coughran:We're busy, A lot of exciting things happening at Restore and in your life, at the foundation that I'm sure we'll get into. But before we dive into that stuff you've made this comment before and I want to dive deeper into this topic You've said to me don't leave before the miracle, and I want to understand what you mean by that exactly.
Steven Ginsburg:Yes, that is definitely something you'll hear in my vernacular and that's something that we commonly it's bumper sticker talk and I love that. Sometimes they can be annoying and trying and repetitive, but they are always gospel and we don't leave before the miracle is the epitome of making sure that we are able to understand that we've got to where our recovery is concerned. We've got to delay gratification. There's a chapter in the big book alcoholics anonymous. There is a solution. That is the name of the chapter and it talks about the predicament of the alcoholic.
Steven Ginsburg:That alcoholic will have something big coming, a big event coming up, a big business transaction coming up, a big life event coming up, and they get tight at exactly the wrong moment and getting tight really means relapse. That's relapse, speak, and I want to wrap this part of just answering you right here. We don't burn it all down overnight and it was important for me, a day at a time, and it's important for my contemporaries and my brothers and sisters on this trudge to understand the same thing. It doesn't get rebuilt overnight. We've got to continue to delay gratification. Understand that it's a process. It's truly a marathon, not a sprint, and we've got to do everything we can through our footwork to avoid getting tight at that wrong moment.
Steve Coughran:But why does that happen at that wrong moment? I mean, you would think that you have a big wedding coming up, you have a big business transaction. Whatever it may be, it's a time to celebrate, but is it the stress in these big events that cause people to relapse and get tight, or what are your thoughts on that?
Steven Ginsburg:I'm glad you asked that? Because I think, rather, Steve, it's the narrative that we carry, it's these lies of the old tapes that we carry, like we're not worthy of success, we're not worthy of things being okay, we're not worthy of peace in our life, and that is a diatribe that I think so many people who suffer from what I suffer from carry around, and I will tell you that that rhetoric is a lie. It is okay for things to be okay. So, as we are progressing and as we are taking strides to move forward and doing our footwork, we've got to hang in there and hang on, because the best is yet to come. That is a big part of it as well. Again, bumper sticker speak. If you go back out whether things are good or things are bad, you can't even get back to what was good or what was bad, because now you are in the midst and the grip of relapse.
Steve Coughran:That's interesting. Well, and it's interesting how you mentioned this idea of, like self-sabotage, destruction. I remember making a social post a while back and it was financial related, and this girl reached out to me and she's like, steve, I really need help, I don't know what's wrong with me. I have the successful business. And she was doing seven figures a year in her business and she's like I have this profit, but then she's like, subconsciously, I just spend, and spend, and spend until all the money's gone, and then she'll make more money. And then she just spends and spends, and spends until the money's gone. And she kind of came to this realization through our conversation back and forth that maybe it's that exact point you brought up. Maybe she feels like she didn't deserve the success, and so she almost got uncomfortable, like, ah, look at all this money, I don't deserve it, I feel uncomfortable with it, so I'm just going to go spend it. And so is that what you're talking about?
Steve Coughran:When it comes to relapse, drug and alcohol abuse, somebody's living this life. They feel good, the kids are happy, their spouse, their partner, like everything's going well in their marriage, their business, whatever it may be, and they're like something's off, because I'm not used to this, so let me go destroy myself. Is that what you're saying?
Steven Ginsburg:I think it's so apropos, brother, and I think it lines up so well. Listen, we can take it out of the realm of addiction and alcoholism for a minute. There's many people in life who they don't feel they're worthy and success isn't necessarily the trappings of success. They don't feel they're worthy of a good position. They don't feel they're worthy of a good relationship. They don't feel they're worthy of healthy dynamics in their friendships. These are all lies and they're perpetuated In my book. They're perpetuated by shame and that shame feeds that toxic narrative and those old tapes and we feel more comfortable living the lie, and really quickly.
Steven Ginsburg:One of the things I really try to implore people in the early onset of recovery where it's concerned is their state of being. As far as listen, when things are going well, we're looking better, we're feeling better, we're sounding better, we're doing better. That's when you lean in. You double, you triple, you quadruple down. When there's a crisis, I almost feel more comfortable. We're more mindful of our program because we're navigating the crisis. It's when it's going well again and it's something I've been saying more this year to people I've been working with it's okay for things to be okay, it's all right for there to be peace and to be content. Nothing has to be done behind that and we don't have to like I don't have to, today, live out my patterns and we, I always want to do me, then we, we don't have to live out those patterns in our life, for we destroy the good that, through footwork, we've built.
Steve Coughran:Yeah, and I mean that's such an interesting point. So let's flip the script here, because I don't know if this relates as well to the other side of the equation. So we were talking about life's going well for somebody. They're achieving success, don't leave before the miracle. But then we have the other side, where you get out of recovery. So maybe you go to addiction recovery center like restore, you get the help that you need, you have the group, you leave, you go back to normal everyday life, whatever that looks like, and things don't get better. Maybe you have relationship problems because now you've been gone. Maybe you lose your job or things pass you by while you're gone and you go down further before things get better. Do you think that saying relates as well to people like that? They're trying to get their life back together and they're like, oh my gosh, nothing's changing and it's like, just wait, just wait. The circle is right around the corner there it is.
Steven Ginsburg:That's like a trillion percent. That's how much emphasis I want to put on my answer, steve. A trillion percent, like we don't drink and drug, no matter what, it's not coming together at the pace. You want it to Tell me. How are you going to expedite the pace through relapse. You want it to tell me how are you going to expedite the pace through relapse?
Steven Ginsburg:We all know that that's the prototypical definition of insanity repeating the same behavior and expecting a different result Again. It didn't all go south overnight. It didn't all burn down overnight. We've got to allow the process time and we've got to allow the works to have that return and like reap what we sow and give it time. Listen, it's a big character factor of addiction and alcoholism.
Steven Ginsburg:Listen, instant gratification it's never quick enough for me, steve. I want everything. Yesterday I've been able to cull that and have that disciplined through Alcoholics Anonymous and through my footwork in recovery. One element I want to mention just very quickly here is for people who are having those issues that they're facing where they're having to delay gratification if they don't find a way to continue to take ownership of what they're feeling, if they don't take the time to have a sponsor that they can then share anxiety and those feelings of repression with, or those feelings of they're missing out with. That's what makes it build up. And then it goes from and we've talked about this before you go from a factor where you're in pre-lapse and you go right into relapse, and that's a tremendous setback. You've got to reinvent your wheel at that point. I want people, a day at a time, a person at a time, to avoid going.
Steve Coughran:Yeah, no, I love that one and it's interesting too because I like to read biographies of people. And you know, recently we went Disney. I mean here's a guy who had a terrible life in many ways and he just I mean he had this vision to create this magical place but he was running from creditors. He was like missing payroll. You know, the first day Disneyland opened up, like the concrete was still wet, that paint still wet on the buildings I mean it's a disaster. I think they ran out of like food or water or something like that. The sewage backed up. I mean like crazy stuff happened right.
Steve Coughran:And it's like when you think about everything that walt put into disney in disneyland to make it what it is today, like he didn't even see that vision come to pass. So I just think when you're going through hard times, and when I'm going through hard times, I'm like holding a mirror up to my face right now. It's like it's it's so tempting to just be like I'm not seeing the results, this is not working, my life's not changing. So like this program's dumb, this workout's dumb, this new diet is ineffective, whatever it is, and you give up right before it's about to be magical and like well, you didn't even see the vision come to pass.
Steve Coughran:Like you, imagine him looking down now and be like, wow, I had no clue that Disneyland would be what it is today, and now it's international, and so I think like the same thing is true in our lives. Oftentimes it gets harder before it gets better, and I'm sure you've experienced the same thing in your life.
Steven Ginsburg:You know, there's an element in recovery called the promises and, to be more specific, it's the nine step promises, and the promises are what is promised through the footwork of recovery.
Steven Ginsburg:The very beginning of the promises say this if we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we're halfway through.
Steven Ginsburg:Doesn't say like one step through, quarter of the way through. But if we're painstaking about this phase of our development, we'll be amazed before we're halfway through. Give yourself a chance to at least get to the halfway point. Give yourself some kind of chance and see the fruit of your labor and, for goodness sake again and I think we're right there and we're both, as usual, in alignment on what counts where this is all concerned how on God's green earth, with the blessing of clarity, with the blessing of sobriety, with the blessing of the solution, when it's not happening to your timetable, how are you going to perpetuate or expedite that timetable when you're going back to the addiction and the alcoholism which is all the disease wants? The disease doesn't want us sober, it wants us miserable, dead, set back and off the grid. We must not give in to that. We must continue to hold that faith and realize that it's progress, not perfection, and understand that the solution is proven and it works and it provides a day at a time.
Steve Coughran:Yeah, and I'm sure you've seen this so many times, especially with all the wonderful people that go through the community at restore. You know where you see their path and you see them making progress, especially from like a an outsider's perspective. But maybe they just don't see it and then you probably experienced them falling back into, you know, and it kills me. Yeah.
Steven Ginsburg:You know, and what I love about you and I is that you have been to many, many groups, and so I appreciate that as a talking point and I wish the whole world at some point to come to group and come be at the table. There's just not enough words or ways that I and this is exactly what I went through, so it was my story of relapse. You know, it's just a matter of why would I take my eye off the prize? And I implore people stay plugged in, stay consistent, continue to do the things where success leaves clues that have led you to another day of sobriety, and don't let up, don't allow complacency to come in, don't allow ego to come in. All these drivers, all these factors Because, to your point, steve, I watch these people making progress and I'm like, okay, I'm holding my breath, they're making progress. Please, lord Almighty, don't let them disappear.
Steven Ginsburg:And time and time again, drink time comes. It says it in the book there's no mental defense against that first drink or drug. It's when we work and we harvest and we are present in the solution that that mental defense exists and we find our way. And then therein, by the way, that's where the miracle comes to fruition. That's where the miracle comes to fruition. And in fact, brother and I'll stop. I'm triggered today, but I feel great, I'm happy, if I had missed that. If I had missed that, the blessings and the gift of my calling in my life, my marriage in my life, our children in our life, my relationship with you in my life, none of that, none of that would exist today.
Steve Coughran:Yeah, I absolutely agree with that, a hundred percent.
Steve Coughran:Well, I mean, it's interesting because I remember when I was smoking weed and I was drinking and I was skinny, I was pale and I looked terrible and I was like, okay, I got to get my life back together.
Steve Coughran:So I stopped and I'm like, okay, I'm going to stop drinking, I'm going to stop smoking weed and I'm going to go to the gym, I'm going to work out and like, put some muscle on my body, you know. And then I do it for a little bit, and then I'm like I'm not seeing any results, not seeing any results. And then I do it for a little bit, and then I'm like I'm not seeing any results, not seeing any results, and then I just slip back into the same patterns. I do it over and over again. And I was thinking the other day it's like I've had people come up to me and they're like oh wow, you know, like how are you able to lift so much weight and stay so fit, you know, and I'm 46 years old and I was thinking this isn't something I've done over the last year this is like 35 years of working out.
Steve Coughran:Yes absolutely Now. Sure, I had my times where I was off and on, but it's 35 years and sure Some people are lucky enough yeah, some people can. They're out of shape and then you know, they go through this body transformation and life transformation. They get all ripped and jacked, but I think for most of us I mean Stephen, how long have you been working out?
Steven Ginsburg:On and off in the gym since I was 18. I'm going to be 56 years old and I would dare to say like praise God, because I'm in agreement with you here body, mind, spirit, I'm arguably maybe in the best shape of my life, coming up on 56 years old. But it's because, to your point, so thank you for this. It's because I'm clean and sober, it's because I've learned and found my way to discipline and to embrace discipline. It's not a burden, it's a joy in these facets in my life and again, just like your journey, and it's a better way to live. When you're inebriated and when you're high and when you're clouded and you're sluggish, you have anxiety and you're taking something that creates anxiety, you're depressed and you're drinking something that is a depressant. How are you going to find your way to the sunlight of the spirit in the midst of those patterns and behaviors?
Steve Coughran:Exactly and to think that, okay, all of a sudden I'm going to flip the switch and in these patterns are going to be embedded in my life and everything's going to be okay. You know, life does get better, life's way, brighter and better when you like, get clean and sober, and you start going through this program. But it takes time. It does. One other story I'll share.
Steve Coughran:You know I've been kind of psycho about our front yard. You know, we just bought a home in November and you know I have a landscaping background so I want my landscape to look nice. So we redid, like the front yard, the flower beds, plant a bunch of shrubs and trees and whatnot, and put some boulders in it. It looks good. And then the front lawn we decided to keep. But they didn't do a really good job keeping up with the lawn and you know, metaphorically speaking, this relates. You know you're not taking care of yourself, you're doing some bad things. The weeds are starting to grow into the life, into the lawn, right.
Steve Coughran:And so here I was like, okay, I got to get this thing fixed, so I'd fertilize it. It got a little bit greener still. Some bare patches went and got some dirt topsoil, put it on top of the grass and then I seeded it. And then it looked terrible because the the top dressing kind of killed some of the areas that I top dressed because I was trying to level some things out. And then I seeded it.
Steve Coughran:The seed didn't really come in, the lawn got worse and then it got a little bit better and I was like, wow, okay, making progress, now let me just try to fix these other areas. So then I power raked and then the following week it was like 95 degrees and it just like burnt the grass. And I remember, looking at my wife, I'm like, oh my gosh, janelle, look at the grass, it's so yellow and it's ugly and I can't even like stand it. And then I gave it time continue to nurture it, continue to follow the program, the system watering it, mowing it, loving on it, kissing on it, whatever right, just nurturing the grass. And then now it looks good and I thought you know that's a great metaphor for life.
Steve Coughran:And I think sometimes, when we change things or mess with things, sometimes it gets a little bit worse but it gets better. And just imagine if, like when I burnt the grass after power raking, imagine if I was just like you know what, steven, I'm done. All this grass is coming out. I'm putting rock in and mulch, I'm not. I'm done with this grass stuff right around the corner. I would have just left right before the miracle happened before the grass greened up and I, I love that.
Steve Coughran:You, you know, prompted this whole like idea today for this episode. Because you know, if, if you're listening to this right now and you're feeling discouraged, things aren't working, you're not getting the results, you're working the program, you're talking to your sponsor, you're doing everything, but you're like this isn't working, I'm not getting the results, this isn't coming to fruition, hold on, hold on, just give it 30 days and then reevaluate. Give it 60 days to reevaluate whatever it is, but just like, don't leave before the miracle. And if things are going great, things are going great for you, don't leave now, don't leave us now. Right?
Steven Ginsburg:More If it's going well, more you know. And as we wrap this up, steve, I want to say this to you because I really love where you're at with this and I love the analogy with the grass. That's a perfect, perfect analogy. And, of course, someone like you would not give up because you're like the best is yet to come. You would not give up because you're like the best is yet to come. It is darkest before the dawn. That's the real truth, just as you had just said.
Steven Ginsburg:Just hang in there faithfully. We've all seen the other side of it. When we just throw our hands up and walk away from the footwork we've put in for the better good, don't do that. Stay in faith, give yourself a chance, give it a chance and understand that those toxic narratives, those lies of the enemy, that's not the truth about my life, your life or our lives collectively. The solution is the truth. Clarity, sobriety and serenity is the truth, and there's a better way and a better day coming. We've just got to give ourselves a chance. So, brother, I just am so grateful that you're willing and wanting to tackle this one head on with me, and it's so great to be back.
Steve Coughran:I love it, yep, and it's so great to be back in. For those of you tuning in, we'd love for you to learn more about the resources we have at restore detox centerscom. We have eBooks, we have links to other podcast episodes. We just have a ton of resources, so be sure to check that out and learn more about what we're doing here at Restore, and Stephen thanks a lot for your time and your encouragement and your insights today.
Steven Ginsburg:Brother, thank you and I always want to let people know that if you need us, if you have questions, if you want to contact us, please email us, please get in touch with us through the links provided. You will hear from us. We do want to interact with you and support you in all things. God bless you all. Everyone have a safe and sober day.
