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Addiction Recovery
The Addiction Recovery Podcast is the ultimate destination for individuals battling addiction or supporting loved ones in their journey towards recovery. With a focus on providing informative, educational, and persuasive content, our podcast aims to engage and guide listeners towards healing and transformation.
Addiction Recovery
53: Grit vs. Grace--Why Willpower Alone Can’t Keep You Sober
“You can’t be a little bit pregnant”—Steven T. Ginsburg uses this phrase to capture the all-or-nothing reality of addiction. In this episode, he explores why some are more vulnerable than others, how trauma and genetics fuel dependency, and why willpower alone isn’t enough.
Through real stories and personal experience, Ginsburg shows that lasting recovery requires spiritual growth, daily practice, and the support of community. Honest and compassionate, this conversation offers both hope and practical direction for anyone facing addiction or supporting a loved one.
Helpful Links:
Learn more about Restore Detox Centers
Filling the Void book by Steven T. Ginsburg
Overcoming the Fear and Lies of Addiction e-book
How to Love and Set Boundaries Without Enabling Addiction e-book
Call Us for Addiction Recovery: 1-800-982-5530
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Welcome to the Addiction Recovery podcast, brought to you by Restore Detox Centers. We are dedicated to providing valuable and insightful information on addiction recovery. However, it is essential to understand that the content shared in this podcast is intended for educational purposes only. While we strive to ensure the accuracy and reliability of the information presented, we cannot guarantee its completeness or suitability for individual circumstances. The topics discussed in this podcast are based on general knowledge and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice or treatment.
It is important to note that the views and opinions expressed by the podcast hosts, guests, or contributors are their own and may not necessarily reflect the views of Restore Detox Centers. We strongly advise listeners to consult with qualified professionals, such as addiction counselors, therapists, or medical practitioners, before making any decisions or taking any actions based on the information provided in this podcast. Please be aware that listening to this podcast does not establish a client-provider relationship with Restore Detox Centers.
You can't be a little bit pregnant? The chicken is involved, the pig is committed. You either are or you are.
Steve Coughran:This is the Addiction Recovery Podcast with Steven T Ginsburg, founder of Restore Detox Centers in sunny California. Enjoy your experience, Steven. Every week, multiple times a week, you get together with your community at Restore Detox Centers and you have what is called group and during this time you teach on a topic and then you go around the table, because I've been there and I think you do such an incredible job and you allow people to share whatever's on their heart. And when I visit California and I come up to the house, you know I do the same. You know I share things that are relevant, things that are happening in my life, and I just love that opportunity. My question is during this time, when you're interacting with all these people and when you have such a big community and network, have you discovered along the way certain things that trigger addictive behaviors or addiction overall?
Steven GInsburg:Steve, thank you so much. It's just remarkable how irrelevant this is to the plight of the individual who is recovering and seeking out recovery. There is a brokenness, there is an emptiness. There is an emptiness, there are hurts, resentments, lots of PTSD and a lifetime filled with moments and memories that are daunting and haunting. For the individual like myself who seeks to fill up that emptiness and seeks relief from drugs and alcohol, that's one of the most consistent patterns and commonalities that I see amongst us, in the ties that bind us, is we have that terrible open wound. We have that conversation going on. That is a lie about our worth. We carry that toxic shame and we seek long form suicide in the form of addiction and alcoholism.
Steve Coughran:Interesting. Okay, we definitely need to dive deeper into that. Let me ask you this first, there's a part of addiction that is what genetic? Is that the right way to refer to it, because you'll oftentimes say it's a disease. So is it possible for somebody to be born with this like desire or proclivity to abuse drugs and alcohol.
Steven GInsburg:With this desire, or proclivity to abuse drugs and alcohol, trillion percent. It's proven that there is a gene code to it. There is a DNA element to it. It's also been proven that there is an element to it where it will skip a generation and then hit the next generation. I believe that's very much in alignment with my story. I believe my mom's father had the proclivity for addiction and alcoholism, that type of behavior. I believe it then skipped my mother's generation and I believe I was blessed and I do. That's a whole nother episode. The greatest blessing in my life besides the most important one, which is my salvation through Christ, is the blessing of being a recovering addict and alcoholic. But yes, there is a genetic element to this. Absolutely yes, sir.
Steve Coughran:Okay, so there's this genetic element. But then do you believe in this, or do you agree with this, that people can go through different life situations or have different circumstances that cause them to be addicts where otherwise they wouldn't normally be addicts? So let me add some color to this. Let's say somebody is going along they don't have this in their genetic code, right they're they're not an addict by nature and things are going great, life is going well. All of a sudden, their parents get a divorce and they don't know how to deal with the heartache and the heartbreak of a broken family and they turn to drugs and alcohol and become an addict. Or let's say, somebody is, like, sexually abused.
Steve Coughran:And in order to cope with this traumatic experience, they become an addict. So are there trends or certain circumstances that can cause somebody to be an addict? Does that make sense? What I'm saying, it makes complete sense.
Steven GInsburg:There absolutely can be triggering events, and I believe that that does occur. There can also be a series of triggering factors where someone starts to seek relief through alcohol or through drugs and alcohol or through drugs, and they're starting to see that the pain they're feeling, the angst they're suffering through, is starting to have some temporary relief through the substance use, which then starts to progress to substance abuse and then they start to experience unmanageability and suddenly it all spirals out of control, and very quickly. They are properly categorized as an addict and an alcoholic.
Steven GInsburg:As an addict and an alcoholic, if there is unmanageability in our lives, in your life, because of drug and alcohol use, you qualify. You've checked the right box. You are an addict and alcoholic. You know you can't be a little bit pregnant. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed. You either are or you aren't. And if you think you aren't, try some managed use of whatever your substance is and you'll find out very quickly where you fall.
Steve Coughran:So that's interesting, I mean because I was thinking about this the other day when it comes to pain and pain management, I don't know where it came from, I don't know if it's genetic, I don't know if it's just cause my mom is so tough. I love my mom. She's like the toughest woman out there. You know, in my opinion, I just have a high pain tolerance, like physically. Sure, no, I can limp around on a hurt leg. I remember I broke in high school and or in middle school and I didn't even go to a doctor, is like fractured, and finally I went to a doctor and got x rays and then it's like, oh yeah, your legs been fractured, you know. I was like, but at this point you're already at the tail end. I was like, oh my gosh, I was like limping around school and I just had this high pain tolerance. And so it's interesting when it comes to life, we all deal with pain. Yes, sir.
Steve Coughran:I mean every single day, always. Do you think it's some people have higher degrees of pain and therefore like there's a correlation there, like the more pain somebody deals with, the higher the probability addiction occurs, or do you feel like there's not a lot of correlation there and it's something else rather?
Steven GInsburg:Steve, I certainly think it lends itself to the equation and I think there's also a very high degree of functioning addicts and alcoholics out there in the world and they have my salutation.
Steven GInsburg:But again, and you've heard this from me enough time we will be waiting, make no mistake about it, with open arms, because this illness is progressive in nature. It continues to grow. So even I have seen and treated praise God and been blessed and equipped to come alongside so many quote unquote functional and functioning addicts and alcoholics, and there's never a problem until when, until there is one, and then what? And then off we go, and it happens very quickly and it happens very unexpectedly and suddenly it got the best of them. Suddenly there's a DUI. Suddenly God forbid there's an involuntary manslaughter. Suddenly a job is lost, a marriage is ruined, a child is completely despondent and detached from what was a functioning and thriving parent, and drugs and alcohol have made their mark. I have never seen it play out any other way, but certainly there are so many factors that go into the recipe of what comprises an addict and an alcoholic.
Steve Coughran:Yeah Well, and I think the one thing we could definitely agree on is that there's so much pain out there in the world and it's just like becoming worse, I just think, as time goes on. There's a lot of pain, there's a lot of fear. I mean, you think about the political environment, you think about AI, people being freaked out, like okay, is my job going away? Is my business going to be destroyed? Where's the world going with super intelligence? I mean, there's just so many things right now that cause a lot of anxiety and who knows? I mean we weren't around during, like World War II, when the world was like super dark too, but it just seems like things are accelerating faster and faster in a way that's creating a tremendous amount of anxiety and fear and pain among people.
Steven GInsburg:Agreed and I know we're not going to go completely down this path, but it's worth where we're at with it. Faith and fear in my walk, in my prayerful way of life, faith and fear cannot exist in the same space, in the same place. And if you are gripped by fear, if you are gripped by pain, if you are gripped by trauma, if old tapes are haunting you you and I have done entire episodes on that old tapes are haunting you and daunting you and you're continuing to pile on substance to medicate it, to remedy it. Imagine where the solution lies when you have the ability, through clarity, through your own faithful version of prayer, through diligent and intentional works and footwork, through faith and light and love and laughter and hope. That's where the rub is, that's where we can get into the solution, that's where we find the light, the fellowship of the spirit.
Steven GInsburg:It's not through substance use and substance abuse. People suffer from depression and they consume a depressant alcohol. People suffer from anxiety and they consume something that makes them anxious cocaine. People suffer from a lack of motivation and clarity and hope and they suffer from procrastination, and then they consume marijuana, which lends itself to all of those character defects. It's a one-way ticket to nowhere. But there is hope, there is a solution. Take a break, take a breath. Give yourself a moment to see clearly. Seek some counsel. Go for a walk. The whole time you and I've been doing this podcast, I've been walking outside in the sunlight while on the phone. Engage with you.
Steven GInsburg:I'll tell you one thing I feel great because, I'm in fresh air, I'm healthy, I'm well and I'm taking care of myself for the greater good. That's where we turn people not to the lies of these people who market substances and alcohol and drugs to us. Yeah.
Steve Coughran:No, and I love that, and it's just so simple. Your approach is so simple, it's so easy, but it's so hard sometimes to follow. Nevertheless, I remember when I was like, whether it's smoking cigarettes or chewing tobacco or smoking weed, whatever it was, you know, I remember times where it was like, okay, I really want to quit smoking. I feel terrible, my hands stink, I'm like total type A OCD. So like thinking of my past when I smoked is crazy to me, but nonetheless, I was definitely in some bondage there.
Steve Coughran:And I would consider myself a very highly disciplined person. So if I tell myself I'm going to run tomorrow and I wake up with the sniffles, guess what I'm?
Steve Coughran:still going to run unless I have like the flu and I'm, like you know, shivering and throwing up. I just follow through. I have this discipline. But even being a disciplined person, I remember having this ,S teven, and I would have this like little constitution. I'd write I, Steve Coughran, will not smoke a cigarette, blah, blah, blah. Sign here, literally. I had like a little signature line. I'd sign it and like, almost put my blood in my journal and be like, okay, I'm not going to do it. And I'd go five days, 10 days without smoking and then guess what, nevertheless, something would come up and I'd find myself smoking cigarettes. This repeated for years, okay, for years, over and over again.
Steve Coughran:So I imagine there's people out there, steven, and they're like I want to get sober, I want to quit drinking, I want to do this. So I am just going to double down. I'm going to restart after the weekend, get through the weekend. I'm going to start on Monday. I'm not going to drink anymore, I'm not going to use anymore and I'm just going to rely on sheer grit and heroics to stay sober. What is your opinion on that approach?
Steven GInsburg:Oh boy, super triggered me and I'll make it concise. I promise One of the most important chapters in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. And, by the way, ladies and gentlemen, the big book is available to anyone and everyone. It's available online. You can get the everything AA app. It's free, so this chapter can be easily. You could look up, you can Google chapter three in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Steven GInsburg:In chapter three more about alcoholism that's the name of the chapter there is a story not a parable, a true story, so the anonymity was left intact about a businessman who found he was doing very well in life, but he was drinking too much. So he made a vow that he was not going to drink again until he retired. A remarkable man by any stretch, is what they describe him as in the book. For 25 years he stayed bone dry, stephen. For 25 years he didn't touch a drop of alcohol. He retired at my age, at 55 years old. Out came the carpet slippers, that's how they describe it. He started to drink very quickly, found himself in the hospital totally perplexed, so he had another go at it, found himself institutionalized again at every resource necessary to keep this from happening again and again, and before too long, in this retirement of his, he drank himself to death.
Steven GInsburg:That is the best description of the nature of this beast of addiction and alcoholism. Yeah, you can suck it up. Yeah, you can roll up your sleeves, yeah, you can clench your teeth, but eventually there is no mental defense against the first drink or drug from anyone who suffers from addiction and alcoholism. The work is done through the footwork. It's the spiritual awakening of the steps, it's the psychic change that 12 steps provide, it's the sponsor, it's the meetings, it's the service, it's that God of our own understanding that relieves us of what? That bondage of self. And then our story doesn't end like that tragic tale of the business now.
Steve Coughran:Yeah, I love that and I mean so. It just exemplifies how grit and heroics can't save anybody. And even if you are so disciplined and you're regimented and you just promise yourself that you're not going to do it again like eventually you're going to fall.
Steve Coughran:Yeah, you're going to, you're going to fall. And so it's interesting because for me, you know, this is just me speaking, this is my opinion, nobody has to agree with it. But for me, like when I tried to quit doing this or that and I struggled over and over again, the only thing that worked was coming into Christ. I know it, and that's the only thing. Like, like I said, I mean, you meet me, I'm super disciplined, you know, steven, like, but the only thing that could save me was Jesus Christ, and I believe Christ died for us so he could heal us. And he suffered. You know all these things, so he could relate to us.
Steve Coughran:Because can you imagine having a God who's like this super intelligence up in outer space? He's never gone through any of it. He would, he wouldn't be able to relate to us. He'd just have all these creations and be like oh yeah, just go do that or go suffer this or whatever. Right, leave me alone. But no, our God went through this and experienced these things, that we are going through the same pain. So you can relate to us and then heal us. And so I just find it so interesting because when you talk about staying sober, there's this system and at the center is this higher power. So, whether it's Christ, or whether it's God, or whether it's Buddha, or whether it's nature or the trees, or whatever you believe in, it's gotta be this higher power that can heal us. And when you talk about your system, it's like okay, you have to have a sponsor, you have to have a group, you have to like work the system. You can't just be like. You know what I'm?
Steve Coughran:going to just rely on my discipline and hard work ethic and I'm just going to like will it to happen. I just don't see that.
Steven GInsburg:It doesn't, and thank you for serving that up. And it's no surprise to me that you turn to a power greater than yourself, our Lord and ,J esus Christ. And that's the beautiful part about the fellowship, this fellowship. Look, I am an AA baby. I love Alcoholics Anonymous.
Steven GInsburg:The founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, all Christians in the Oxford group, knew there's a lot of people with different stories about God. There's a lot of people with God trauma. We're not going to let that get in the way of people not dying at the hands of addiction and alcoholism. So it is a God that we can do business with. It is a God of our own understanding. It is a conception of a power greater than ourself. Again, my Lord and Savior is Jesus Christ. My salvation is through Christ.
Steven GInsburg:Do I want everyone to be saved? Of course I do. But my heavenly father would not go charging into a room of AA and be like where are the believers? Okay, the rest of you hit the brakes, leave this meeting. He'd be like stay here. Know that you're loved. Know that I don't want you drinking the devil's water and dying at the hands of addiction and alcoholism. Know that there's hope. Know that there's a solution. Know that I am waiting for you with open arms. That's the God that I serve and it is. It's a spiritual malady, it's that conception of a power grid of inner self. It's that sponsor, that trusted advisor, with working out to the steps in our life. It's going to meetings, meeting makers make it. It's working, all 12 steps, because then the 12 steps work in our life. Steve and it's service, it's five things that earn me a remission and earn people like me a remission, a day at a time, and each day that remission is earned and each day that reprieve is granted.
Steve Coughran:Yeah, and I love that. And you know what. I'm going to say something and you're listening and you may not like this, you may not like me after I say this, but I'm just going to speak whatever's on my heart and that's why we have two of us. So you could like Steven more than you like me, but let me let me just say this.
Steve Coughran:Okay, let me just say this, cause I was talking to another CEO recently and he was like hey, Steve, what's your opinion on this guy that I just made president? And what he did is he put this president of one company and he moved them up to his holding company and made him president of several companies. So now this guy he used to be focused on one business, now he's running three, and they're all distinct businesses. We're not talking about three different locations, the same business. We're talking about three distinct businesses, three distinct ideal customers, three distinct strategic problems of companies. Right, okay, three different business models. And he said what do you think about that? And I said well, every time I see this guy, he looks super overwhelmed.
Steve Coughran:And he said what do you think I should do? And I said here's the deal. I said I think it's very arrogant of us I included myself because I do some work with the company I said I think it's very arrogant of us to believe that this president can run three different companies better than your competitors, who spend every single waking hour obsessing over one business that they run. And so like, think about that. It's like okay, this president over here is going to run three different businesses and then he's going to beat the competitor down the street who spends all their time, all their energy, all their focus on one business, one customer, one problem. Right, and I just said that's so arrogant.
Steve Coughran:So like, this is where I may offend you as a listener. I think it's arrogant as us and I'll include myself in there I think it's arrogant of us to believe that through our own willpower, we can fight sobriety. Just saying you know what? Look, I'm just, I don't need any, I don't need group, I don't need sponsors, I don't need this stupid program. I'm a disciplined person. I'm just going to will my way towards sobriety. I think that's super arrogant.
Steven GInsburg:I hear you and I'm with you. And what I say to those individuals, I don't sit in any judgment and I'd never shame or disparage them and neither would you. You'd be the first one offer them any and every help available appropriately. But what I say is always the same thing this is a program of attraction, not promotion. This is faith through works. This is a program that has the promises, where the two ifs on the front end of the 12 promises say if we are painstaking about the space of our development, we will be amazed before we're halfway through and these promises all come true. If, what? If? We work for them.
Steven GInsburg:I'd say to any individual that's trying to suck it up we are waiting for you. And when your bottom comes and our bottoms come, when we stop digging, when we stop digging, when your bottom comes, know this you are loved, you are coveted, you are wanted. We it's a collective, we, it's a royal, we, we, in the space of recovery, are waiting with open arms and open hearts to come alongside you and help you, because no one needs to do this alone. This is a we program. It's not for people who want it. It's not for people who need it. This program is for people who do it, and I am one of the many who is willing to do it, and do it alongside of anyone who wants it as well.
Steve Coughran:Yeah, and you know what. You can say that Steven all day long. But I just wish people could meet you like in the flesh.
Steve Coughran:But I can tell you that like what you say, like on this podcast, like what you get here with Steven. I mean, he's talking about, oh yeah, I'm just walking around outside while I'm doing this podcast, that's what you get. Like there's no radio podcast, steven, and then reality, steven, it's. It's one thing. And I love what you said, how you're ready with open arms, no judgment, to accept whatever and whoever. Whenever they're ready, absolutely Meet them where you're at. I can testify of that because I know when I came to you during a very hard time in my life, there's no judgment.
Steve Coughran:You're like dude, come in brother, Like come into my home, Beautiful time, Let me put my arms around you and love you. I love that that ethos carries through restoring my gosh brother. I mean that carries through a story. It carries through restoring.
Steven GInsburg:It's built on.
Steve Coughran:And it carries through your foundation. And I think, like for listeners, maybe you don't have an addiction, maybe your family member does, maybe your friends do, maybe you're just curious about this topic. Who knows, maybe you've been really successful, you've gotten sober and you're like hey, I just listened to this because I want to stay involved and I want to see where I can help. There's so many opportunities, there's so many possibilities. We just love that you tune into this podcast. It means the world to us.
Steven GInsburg:Amen and Steve, I just want to say this very quickly in closing and I know we're going a little long, but it's a very passionate and convicting topic for both of us. If all it is is that you're just in some pain and you just need someone to talk to or you want to vent, like, listen, we're available, I am available. I had a great experience not too long ago in New Mexico, the Hills Church that I spoke at. My favorite part of that day was, after both services, getting to meet the congregants of Hills Church, getting to shake hands with them, to give them a hug, to pray with them, to pray for them.
Steven GInsburg:Not because I'm a saint, I'm a selfish, self-serving guy, but when I have the opportunity and the blessing to be of service, I am out of myself and I am thinking about others and it perpetuates and feeds my sobriety. So I am here to be of service in every way, shape and form to mankind, any way that I'm called and equipped to be. And brother, that's what I love about your and mine's friendship and relationship. It was born out of some trauma and then a mutual respect and understanding and the relationship grew. So it's the living antithesis of what we're promoting and proposing during this podcast.
Steve Coughran:I love it Spot on, Steven, and I love your true nature, your authentic nature, and I would love to hear from you. We'd both love to hear from you. In fact, in Spotify, if you're listening to this podcast on that platform, you can leave a comment directly in the episodes. So just look at the episode, look down below there's a comment box. We'd love for you to comment. What do you think? How do you feel about this After you hear us speak? Do you have episode ideas? Do you need help? Go ahead and type that in there. You could also email us at hello at restoreddetoxcenterscom. You could also visit the website restoreddetoxcenterscom. We have a ton of great resources there awaiting you, Steve thank you so much.
Steven GInsburg:Everyone, have a safe and sober day.
