Addiction Recovery

62: He Stayed Sober for Years — Then Lost Everything

• Steven T. Ginsburg • Season 1 • Episode 62

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A man stays sober 25 years, retires, picks up a drink—and four years later, he’s gone. We revisit the Big Book’s Businessman story as a warning: time alone doesn’t keep addiction at bay.

This episode explores long-term sobriety, complacency, and the habits that truly protect recovery—daily action, community, and honest connection. Recovery is a verb, not a milestone. Act on it, and you’re safe for today.

Share, subscribe, and leave a review—your story could save someone else.

Helpful Links:
Learn more about Restore Detox Centers
Filling the Void book by Steven T. Ginsburg
Overcoming the Fear and Lies of Addiction e-book
How to Love and Set Boundaries Without Enabling Addiction e-book
Call Us for Addiction Recovery:  1-800-982-5530

DISCLAIMER:
Welcome to the Addiction Recovery podcast, brought to you by Restore Detox Centers. We are dedicated to providing valuable and insightful information on addiction recovery. However, it is essential to understand that the content shared in this podcast is intended for educational purposes only. While we strive to ensure the accuracy and reliability of the information presented, we cannot guarantee its completeness or suitability for individual circumstances. The topics discussed in this podcast are based on general knowledge and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice or treatment.

It is important to note that the views and opinions expressed by the podcast hosts, guests, or contributors are their own and may not necessarily reflect the views of Restore Detox Centers. We strongly advise listeners to consult with qualified professionals, such as addiction counselors, therapists, or medical practitioners, before making any decisions or taking any actions based on the information provided in this podcast. Please be aware that listening to this podcast does not establish a client-provider relationship with Restore Detox Centers.

Steven Ginsburg:

Recovery, sobriety, it's a verb. It's an action program. It's a we program.

Steve Coughran:

This is the Addiction Recovery Podcast with Steven T. Ginsburg, founder of Restore Detox Centers in Sunny, California. Enjoy your experience. Steven, I can't wait for you to share this story from the big book. I think it's a pretty well-known story out there, but I'm sure a lot of people haven't heard it. But it's about a businessman and his whole journey all the way up through retirement. And then it's really interesting what happens thereafter. So I'm going to turn it over to you because I want you to go into detail and share the story with you, the listener.

Steven Ginsburg:

Yeah, Steve, thank you. It's great. It's a beautiful part of our brotherhood and this endeavor that God's assigned us with. We kind of pre-game, we talk about the topics and what we'll address. And I was telling you, it was on my heart to share about the businessman, which is from, you know, one of my favorite chapters in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous is chapter three, more about alcoholism, because it is truly the cautionary tale chapter. It is about the ongoing, persistent pursuit that this disease has for those of us who are in recovery. And there's an actual story, and it is a true story. It's not a parable. Uh, and it's a it's a tragic story, and they intentionally protect the anonymity of this individual. It's called the Businessman. It's from chapter three, more about alcoholism. It can be found starting on page 32. I'm just going to read it very quickly because it's short. A man of 30 was doing a great deal of spree drinking. He was very nervous in the morning after these bouts and quieted himself with more liquor. He was ambitious to succeed in business, but saw he would get nowhere if he drank at all. Once he started, he had no control whatever. He made up his mind that until he had been successful in business and had retired, he would not touch another drop. An exceptional man, he remained bone dry for 25 years and retired at the age of 55. After a successful and happy business career, then he fell victim to a belief which practically every alcoholic has, that his long period of sobriety and self-discipline had qualified him to drink as other men. Out came his carpet slippers and a bottle. In two months, he was in a hospital. Puzzled and humiliated, he tried to regulate his drinking for a while, making several trips to the hospital in the meantime. Then gathering all his forces, he attempted to stop altogether and found he could not. Every means of solving his problem, which money could buy, was at his disposal. Every attempt failed. Though a robust man at retirement, he went to pieces quickly and was dead within four years. Steve, I wanted to Yes, sir, and and thank you. It is crazy. And it's crazier because it's true and it's so sad. And it's about the progressive nature of the illness that I suffer from. And if you're out there and you're like me, the progressive nature of the illness that you suffer from, that is where these things take us if we don't do our part and we don't address these foundational elements that perpetuate addiction and alcoholism. It's about recovery. It's not about just abstinence.

Steve Coughran:

So, what I mean, what gets you so passionate about this story? Like, what is it about the story that really like hits home for you?

Steven Ginsburg:

And it's a cautionary tale. Uh, it's about complacency, it's about the fact that yes, you can grind, you can clench your fists and grit your teeth and not let it pass your lips. But eventually, because of the spiritual malady that I suffer from, because of the spiritual malady that the businessman suffers from, if we don't address that spiritual malady, if we don't do the things needed so that we have that spiritual awakening and psychic change, the disease always prevails, no matter how long it takes. The disease can wait infinitely and it will get its kill shot lined up and take us out.

Steve Coughran:

Well, and and I mean, didn't you kind of experience the same? I mean, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but you you've shared stories before about when you were really successful in business. You had the car, you had the girl, you had the place, like things were going well. You were you were sober and and you got sober before that. How long were you sober at that point? I was perfect that we're discussing this.

Steven Ginsburg:

You know, I had been sober 10 years, and at year 10, I literally categorically completely stopped working my program, like dead stopped because I was on top of the world. And what you just described on paper, I had it all for two years. I grinded out, I just kept abstaining. And eventually during year 12, I went back out. I took one pill. I remember exactly the pill I took. I remember the color of it, I remember what it was. And after I took that pill, which I did not need for any particular medical reason, I was like, I'm out, I'm relapsed. And I have a progressive illness. And the manifestation of craving came immediately. And I went into a full run and I was back out for four and a half years, and it should have killed me, but God had a different plan for me. And when I made it back home, I was appropriately disease-fearing and God fearing. And that businessman story became the story of my life. Except I was blessed to have a different outcome.

Steve Coughran:

Yeah, I mean, you had a second chance, and a lot of people don't have a second chance. Okay, so let me ask you was your mindset different the first time you got sober versus the second time? And let me go into more detail here what I mean. It seems to me in the story of the businessman, he was working, he was abstaining, but perhaps, right? It doesn't really get into this, but perhaps he was thinking in the back of his mind, I'll be I'll be clean and sober now, but when I get here, then I can let loose. And I just wonder if you like interpret the same thing in the story, or maybe I'm off. And then tie this back to the first time you got sober versus the second time. The first time, when you're 10 years into it, in the back of your mind, did you ever think, like, okay, I'm gonna be sober, I'm gonna get my life back in order, I'm gonna become successful, and then maybe one day, you know, I'll let loose a little bit, or were you always trying to abstain? It just is a different scenario.

Steven Ginsburg:

You know, it I don't I don't think I necessarily knew that I would be walking myself right into that premeditative crime where I was the victim. But I think that when I went into that behavior pattern, and I'm so grateful for it, I'm especially grateful that I made it out alive, but I can see God's purpose in that. I I was able to lean on my own cautionary tales, first and foremost, to help myself get back on that trudge, get back on that walk with purpose, but more importantly, to really lean in and really have that cautionary tale with others where I could explain to them, hey, I've been down this road. Um, complacency will kill us. You may not be thinking, like, I'm gonna just shut it all down and not have another drink and drug. But eventually, when we shut it all down, that ism, that I self-me comes up and roots because the disease, again, is a parasitic opportunistic infection. It's waiting for that moment where it can get in. When we are not doing the elements that earn us that daily remission and reprieve, drink time can come. When we are participating on a daily basis, in those elements that provide us a remission and reprieve, we are marked safe, just like they do when there's a storm or something. We are marked safe for that day. But it's a day at a time. We do these things on a daily basis because that remission and reprieve, it is earned, Steve, on a daily basis, repetitively, again and again and again, a day at a time.

Steve Coughran:

Well, and you know what's crazy to me, it it put this visual in my head about real estate. And if you think about this, I don't know if you've experienced this where you live, but in Denver, in the metro area, you know, there may be a restaurant that's like beautiful, right? It's well maintained. There are flowers out front, the grass is green, right? Everything looks great. And then the business goes out of business, they go bankrupt, and then they start putting up the boards, you know, on the windows to protect it. And then maybe they have like a four-lease or four-sale sign up front. It's amazing to me how fast a property could go downhill. You drive by within a year, and you're like, oh my gosh, there's all these weeds growing in the parking lot, like in the cracks of the parking lot, and like the paint starts like chipping, you know, and like the stucco starts like cracking, whatever it is. I don't know what it is. I think it's the baby steps, it's the small little steps of like maintenance, if you think about it, just like mowing every week, just doing a little bit every week. And then it's just like being active, like having people there driving in the parking lot that keeps those weeds down. And I think that can be very symbolic to what we're talking about here. Like when you're working the system and when you're you're working the program and you're attending every single day, right? It doesn't take a lot of effort. It's just like the little baby steps. But that's what like maintains everything. I think those who say, Look, I'm gonna work all my life, and maybe they're not talking about like one day I'm gonna like sit back and start drinking, but even those that are like, I'm gonna work my entire career, I'm gonna make all this money, and then I'm gonna just stop. I mean, that sounds terrible. Like, what are you gonna do in retirement? Sit on the couch and just like die quickly. And I think that's why so many people, their life comes to an end very quickly after retirement when they just stop. They stop the routine, they stop pushing forward, they stop building and everything else. What are your thoughts on that?

Steven Ginsburg:

It's it's in alignment with everything we're discussing, and it's all apropos and it's all relevant. And this is one of those things where yes, in retirement, you may need to find something new that inspires you and that motivates you. And may you may have to go through some setbacks where suddenly, like, for instance, if you're married, your spouse is like, Hey, honey, like if you don't get out of the house, they're never no one's gonna ever see you again because I'm gonna make you disappear. I'm being funny, of course. Right. But people, right? People find their next, you know, the things that re-inspire them in their life. This is a very important cautionary tale in recovery. You know, we're we're doing well, like we look better, we sound better, we feel better, love is better. There's more money because we're not spending it all on drugs and alcohol. Uh, we're doing beautifully with our family. And all the elements that delivered all that good are the first things we start to neglect and negate amidst these beautiful promises that come true in recovery. And we've got to stay on guard. And this is where I lean in. And you hear this from me, Steve. My gosh, you've been around me a long time. So many people hear the same thing from me so many times. But why? Because it's a must. Because that disease that I suffer from, like people who have cancer, they don't have cancer telling them, hey, you don't have cancer. Addicts and alcoholics, our addiction and alcoholism tells us, you know what? You overreacted. Right. You could smoke a joint, you could have a glass of wine, you could try half a Xanax, and boom, we are dead in the water. So, what keeps that from occurring is all of the elements that comprise that working program. There's no complacency, there's no laurels ever to rest on. We are in action. It's a verb. Recovery, sobriety, it's a verb. It's an action program, it's a we program. We do it together for and with one another, and we keep the enemy where? At the gate, where he belongs, having a tantrum because the truth is being exposed again and again and again.

Steve Coughran:

I love that. And I love this story. I'm so glad that you brought it up because I I think it has so many different facets to it that uh a lot of us can relate to. So I think it's great. And if you're listening to this and you have a story you want to share, or you just want to reach out to us and give us feedback or reach out for help, you can always contact us at hello at restore detoxcenters.com.

Steven Ginsburg:

Steve, thank you so much. I love that I could share this. Uh, this is near and dear to my heart. I really want to just give support out there to those who are listening. If you're suffering or a loved one is suffering, we want to hear from you. We're here to help. The solution is proven. We love you all. Have a safe and sober day.

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Steven T. Ginsburg

Host
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Steve Coughran

Co-host