Addiction Recovery

75: If You Want Help, Start with These 3 Truths

• Steven T. Ginsburg • Season 1 • Episode 75

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The lie that keeps many people stuck in addiction isn’t dramatic—it’s ordinary: “I can manage this.” In this conversation, we unpack three core ideas from AA’s Chapter Five that move recovery from theory to real traction: admitting powerlessness, recognizing that no human power can fix addiction, and seeking a Higher Power that restores sanity.

We begin with Step One as the foundation—not perfect behavior, but honest self-awareness. Using a simple allergy analogy, we explain why bargaining with substances is futile and why surrender is the first true step toward strength. We also address a hard truth for families: love and willpower alone can’t stop addiction. Referencing When a Man Loves a Woman, we explore how denial unravels and why lasting change must come from within.

Finally, we discuss the spiritual void addiction tries to fill and the practical hope that comes from seeking a power greater than oneself—whether through faith in God or simply starting with something beyond self. With a focus on simplicity—working the Steps, finding a sponsor, and serving others—we offer a clear path forward for anyone ready to stop pretending and start recovering.

Helpful Links:
Learn more about Restore Detox Centers
Filling the Void book by Steven T. Ginsburg
Overcoming the Fear and Lies of Addiction e-book
How to Love and Set Boundaries Without Enabling Addiction e-book
Call Us for Addiction Recovery:  1-800-982-5530

DISCLAIMER:
Welcome to the Addiction Recovery podcast, brought to you by Restore Detox Centers. We are dedicated to providing valuable and insightful information on addiction recovery. However, it is essential to understand that the content shared in this podcast is intended for educational purposes only. While we strive to ensure the accuracy and reliability of the information presented, we cannot guarantee its completeness or suitability for individual circumstances. The topics discussed in this podcast are based on general knowledge and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice or treatment.

It is important to note that the views and opinions expressed by the podcast hosts, guests, or contributors are their own and may not necessarily reflect the views of Restore Detox Centers. We strongly advise listeners to consult with qualified professionals, such as addiction counselors, therapists, or medical practitioners, before making any decisions or taking any actions based on the information provided in this podcast. Please be aware that listening to this podcast does not establish a client-provider relationship with Restore Detox Centers.

The Void And Failed Fixes

Steven Ginsburg

That emptiness, I couldn't fill it up. I mean, I ingested a lot of drugs and I bought a lot of stuff and I did all sorts of things. Did any of that fill up that emptiness? No.

What Chapter Five Teaches

Steve Coughran

This is the Addiction Recovery Podcast with Steven T. Ginsburg, founder of Restore Detox Centers in Sunny California. Enjoy your experience. , Steven, a big part of your recovery journey and what you teach everybody that you work with at Restore comes from these AA meetings. And specifically within the AA meetings, my understanding is out of chapter five, how it works, there are three pertinent ideas that are shared just as part of this overall process. That's what I want to dive into in more detail with you. So maybe you could start off by sharing what those ideas are.

Step One And True Surrender

Steven Ginsburg

Steve, thank you. I I love this topic, near and dear to my heart. You know, at the at the inception to your point of every A meeting, they read a portion of chapter five, how it works, which is what, about what, how it works, which is great reading. And one of the things I like to do in group, and you've witnessed this before, is I like to slow down and go back and break the text down because there's so much remarkable, relevant content in that text. Well, the way that they wind down this reading and summarize it at the end is they read the three pertinent ideas, which are A, that we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives, B, that probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. And then the last thing they say is C that God could and would if he was sought. And I always take a moment right there and say, so seek them to myself. Uh, and I just want to take a moment and touch on this. You know, that first pertinent idea, we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives, that is the antithesis of step one. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable. That step, and we can kind of go through the three pertinents individually. So that step, step one, that is arguably considered, Steve, the most important step. And that is the step that they describe and prescribe that we must. It's the only thing that they describe in this manner, that we must do perfectly. And I'm gonna wrap up right here so that you can jump in. So why? Well, the why behind the how there is we admitted we were powerless over alcohol, or in our case, since we're speaking to a general audience over drugs and alcohol, just whatever camp you're in, it's irrelevant. Addicts or alcoholics, alcoholics are addicts. That first step must be done with no reservation, no hazard hesitation, so that we are completely surrendered to the fact that we are addicts and alcoholics, that there's unmanageability in our life because of addiction and alcoholism, and that our lives have become unmanageable behind those facets. That first step is that true surrender that's our starting point. So we'll start there with the first pertinent idea.

Powerlessness Explained With Allergy Analogy

Steve Coughran

Yeah, what you're saying, and correct me if I'm wrong, but what you're saying is in order to get help and in order to heal from being an alcoholic, the first step is coming to your own realization that you can't manage your life when alcohol becomes out of control. Is that what you're saying? Explain that a little bit more.

Steven Ginsburg

Absolutely. And I think one of the first key components of step one is, you know, it's it's an odd dichotomy. The way you gain some power and the way you head on that pathway towards some power is by admitting that you are powerless over this facet of your life. And I've got to use a very simple analogy. Just like someone who has a peanut allergy, like a really DEF CON 3000 peanut allergy, they don't have a big issue like admitting, like, hey, like if they ingest a peanut, they're not gonna have any power over the way their body reacts to it. Their throat's gonna close up, they're gonna be in medical endangerment. There's a definite consequence to follow. Well, an addict and an alcoholic that ingests a mind-altering substance has a very similar physical and neurological reaction. And the admission of such is that first start, that first step towards that journey of recovery and discovery and sobriety.

Steve Coughran

Okay, I mean, that's interesting because I wonder how many people out there truly believe that their life is manageable, even though they drink a lot. I mean, isn't that many self-deception at its core?

Steven Ginsburg

Certainly. So many, many, many until they don't.

Steve Coughran

I'm not laughing because it's funny. I'm laughing because the irony is right there. Well, and so is that what you're saying? Like, there's no way to help somebody until they come to that own realization because step one. Because I imagine you're gonna justify it all day long or come up with excuses and saying, Of course, look, Steven, what's the big deal? I go home at night and I drink a bottle of wine. Like, I wake up, I have a job, I'm an executive, I get my kids to school on time. What's the big deal?

Movie Case Study: Hitting Bottom

Steven Ginsburg

Brother, you're triggering me so well, I can barely let you finish. They're in very good company. I am surrounded by that day in and day out. The denial is at the all-time high. And none of and and it's fine because it's it's the disease, it's the way that the that this dis-ease works, it's the spinning of those lies, it's that mechanism of that substance that produces they're somehow different. And it's like, hey, you're not, and we're not. And when when that surrender comes, look, when that unmanageability is there, the job is lost, the marriage is dissolved, you're being put out of your home, your children are estranged from you, you have no ability to relate to and with society. That unmanageability has reared its head. Now you want it, you want your bottom to go deeper? Dig on. Uh, you want to end up dead? I mean, we can't control that. But this first step, the first step, these three, this first of the three pertinent ideas, that's where when we embrace who we are, what we suffer from, we embrace our spiritual malady, and I'll get to that with a third pertinent idea. And we surrender, we get into that mode of surrender. We're without reservation or hesitation, we're like into that admission. We're powerless over drugs and alcohol, but our lives have become unmanageable. That's where the liberation begins.

Steve Coughran

Interesting. I remember, did he ever watch the movie When a Man Loves a Woman? Oh, terrific. Andy Garcia, Meg Ryan, love it. Fantastic. Phenomenal. I remember watching that years ago, and then my wife and I, we recently watched it again. And I mean, it's very interesting. In some ways, it's disturbing because it's like, dang, you know, like that's crazy. That's crazy. Yeah, it's like very emotional.

Steven Ginsburg

She hits her kid.

Steve Coughran

Yeah.

Steven Ginsburg

Her her, you know, her marriage uh practically is completely annihilated. I mean, this it's textbook alcoholism. And that's what I was gonna ask you.

Steve Coughran

Well, because like in the movie, you know, she is air quote here. This is my air quote coming out. She was managing her life, she was drinking, she's a closet drinker, like hiding her liquor. And I think her husband kind of knew they would go on dates, and like there's a scene, like she'd go on a day, she'd be kind of funny, but then into the the night, he's like dragging her in, right? But then, yeah, things escalate and it finally like explodes in her face when she slaps her kid in the face, right? And then that was the realization, like, dang, this is out of you know, so that is that what you're talking about here.

No Human Power Can Fix It

Steven Ginsburg

Like, that's so you know what's really great about you bringing that up? It not only facets the first pertinent idea, but it rolls right into the second pertinent idea that probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. I want to stay on the movie if you don't mind, since you brought it up. Keep going, yeah. Remember, they had they had a nice marriage, they had fun, like it was sweet. Like she he was a pilot. I mean, I love movies and I remember all this stuff, especially when it's about recovery. He was a pilot. She'd get crazier and crazier. She was running out in the street, throwing things on cars. And like, despite how much her husband loved her, despite how much she loved their daughters, no human power could relieve that character in the movie of her alcoholism. So there's the second pertinent idea, which it correlates with the first. That surrender is an internal mechanism. That admission of the powerlessness is internal and comes from the individual. If they don't surrender, if they don't admit their powerlessness, they're in denial. And then it wouldn't matter how much the people who love them love us, no matter how much they hurt or how much angst they have. There is not a human power that can relieve me of my addiction and alcoholism, or can relieve that character in the movie of her alcoholism. And we see that front and center. So it's a perfect example to cover that second pertinent idea. Probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

Steve Coughran

Because the the alternative or the opposite of that is somebody thinking, I got this under control. Yep, I can stop anytime I want. It's really not that big of a deal.

Seeking A Higher Power In Practice

Steven Ginsburg

I mean, you know, yeah, look, okay, I drink. Yeah, so does the rest of the world. Okay, we're not talking about the rest of the world. We're not talking about the issues with the rest of the world. It doesn't matter what the rest of the world does, it matters what we do. And again, it's that fallout happens close to home. It affects the people we love most. We're hurting ourselves, but listen, when we're in active addiction and alcoholism, our goal is to hurt ourselves anyhow. Our real goal is to try and kill ourselves in long version. There is not a human stake that is high enough, there's not a human value high enough that is able to actually properly intercede and intervene where this addiction and alcoholism is concerned. Because why? Because, see, I carry a spiritual malady in me. So I've got that powerlessness in the first pertinent idea. There's no human power could have relieved me of that bondage and that burden of self. But because I suffer from a spiritual malady, I have an emptiness, right? I wrote a book. What was the book called? Filling the void. Right. That emptiness, I couldn't fill it up. I mean, I ingested a lot of drugs and I bought a lot of stuff and I did all sorts of things. Did any of that fill up that emptiness? No. That spiritual malady haunted me and harbored itself in me. But God could and would, if he were sought. And on November 12th, 2004, what did I do in my moment of desperation? I sought God. I cried out to him, if you won't let me die. This was my exact words. You're not going to let me die. Okay. How about my life back in sobriety? And then, of course, the overwhelming in my miracle, miracle in my life that I am so grateful for is I called out for my salvation through Christ. I asked Jesus Christ to come save me. And I didn't even know what that meant back then. My point to all this is when people seek a power greater than themselves, it is a God of our own understanding. Suddenly the lights do come on. And we have a moment now. So there's some power early on. And we can rise up and begin this journey, which is based on footwork. Faith without works is dead. And these three pertinent ideas will perfectly deliver us into the onset of those first 164 pages, into eventually the care of a sponsor, into those 12 steps and into acts of service, and ongoing remission and reprieve will be earned and gained on a daily basis.

Help For Agnostics And Atheists

Steve Coughran

Well said. And I think this ties nicely into the third piece, which you've already jumped into, which I think is great. But I guess my question to you, because you've you've talked with a lot of people, I'm sure you've had a lot of heart to hearts, some really deep conversations with people in complete like dismay, like depression, darkness, like when you're just at rock bottom.

Steven Ginsburg

It's literally unreal when you're dealing with them like that, Steve.

Steve Coughran

Yeah, and it's probably like heartbreaking for you because I know how much you love and care about people. And so the question is like, you know, this third part, this third pertinent idea here, you know, is when you you when you're surrendering and you you trust in God to like heal you. I guess it it's crazy to me because we know as Christians, you and I would know that salvation comes through Jesus Christ. Yeah, but I I don't know why it is as human beings, because I've been in this place before, you might have been in this place before too, but we think that there's another way. Always and uh it's similar to like if you said, Hey Steve, you need to lose some weight, you know, you're getting a little chubby there, buddy. And I said, Okay, well, tell me how to fix this. And you said, just eat whole foods and go to the gym. And like Steven, you know, that's ridiculous. There's gotta be a different way. I'm gonna try drinking lemon water, I'm gonna take this supplement over here, I'm gonna do the and it's everything except for what I'm supposed to be doing. And we go in circles and we waste so much time and energy. And then eventually we circle back to like, oh my gosh, I should have just listened in the first place. And I could say from personal experience, this was me in my 20s. It's like I grew up in a very religious family as a Christian. But guess what? I thought there was option B or option C out there, and I went all these other ways, trying to figure out my own way instead of going the one way, which is through Jesus Christ. So, like when you're working with people, if somebody is a Christian, I imagine it's a pretty easy thing to convince them of. But what about those who maybe they don't believe in God? And or maybe they think there's another way. They're like, Stephen, like I don't believe in God. I what's another give me another option?

Keep It Simple And Get Help

Steven Ginsburg

They have give me the entire I love this because they have an entire chapter intentionally dedicated to this. The chapter is called We Agnostics. It's in the big book, it's arguably one of the most important chapters because the founders understood. Listen, this thing is about a God that we can do business with, a God of our own understanding. And all that is needed for the starting point is to have the admission and the acceptance that there is something, anything, some power greater than ourselves out there. Once we are willing to do that, once we come, come to come to believe, we are off and running. And the the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous were smart in setting this up like this because there's lots of God trauma. And I've treated many people who are atheists and agnostics, and the treatment is stuck, and they're doing well, and they're working a program. They're not necessarily saddled up with Jesus Christ yet. Do I pray for that for them? Do I want them to have salvation? Of course I do. Right. Uh is that a necessity for them to have sobriety? No, it's not. It's just necessary that they are able to look out on all the landscape of the world and the wonder of the world and the beauty of the relationships and be like, something bigger than me has got to have put this together. It's too well laid out. There's got to be something out there. Or maybe they look at the miracles that happen in the groups and they're like, for now, the groups and the people in the groups and the miraculous stories in the groups, that's that power that is greater than myself. Anything will suffice as long as they as they accept and understand they are no longer and they are not the greatest power. And again, they are off and running. And proof of concept is gained through the days, a day at a time. And then the sometimes the most ardent non-believers can become believers, or sometimes those non-believers can start to find a way to accept and embrace something bigger than themselves, and they're having that ongoing gift of sobriety. At the end of the day, that's the primary purpose. We are here to help the man or woman who is still suffering.

Steve Coughran

Yeah. And I love how you lay it out so simply. It's very like sequential. It makes sense. So I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts today, Stephen.

Steven Ginsburg

Listen, Steven, thank you for mentioning that. It is simple. I am very enamored and taken these days with the simplicity of it. What I am very aware of also is I am me. I am very complicated. But I am not willing to complicate what saves my life today. And I want to help others who are complicated just like me to know this. Please, I will help you. So many people will help you. We are here to uncomplicate what is complicated for you so that you can live, so that you can thrive, so that you can heal, so that you can grow. And please know this the solution is proven and it works. And the disease is proven and it works too. It lands us dead or in institutions.

Listener Outreach And Closing

Steve Coughran

Yeah. Well said. And I just love where your heart is and how you're you just want to see people heal and live the best version of their lives. I really appreciate that about you. Okay, we want to hear from you. You can always email us at hello at restore detoxcenters.com. And if you have ideas, if you have feedback, or you want to share your story, feel free to reach out. Stephen is great connecting with you to do another episode. And uh we'll leave it at that.

Steven Ginsburg

Absolutely, Steve. Thank you for this imperative and important topic. Everyone out there, we love you. We are for you. Everyone have a safe and sober day.

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Steven T. Ginsburg

Host
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Steve Coughran

Co-host