78: Being Fully Resolute vs Partially Committed

A casual “just have a beer” shows how relapse often begins—not with a crisis, but with quiet negotiation. We share a story from a Brazil trip that highlights a key truth in recovery: 100% commitment is often easier than 95%. When the line is clear, decisions get simpler.

We connect this to 12-step principles and the idea that “half measures” don’t work. If substances flip a switch in you, testing the edge isn’t curiosity—it’s risk. Real freedom comes from accepting that and choosing a daily solution.

We also explore how language shapes identity—“I don’t drink” vs. “I can’t drink”—and the routines that keep recovery strong. Finally, we discuss helping kids stand firm in their values.

If this resonates, share it with someone who needs a clearer line. What boundary are you ready to make non-negotiable?

Helpful Links:
Learn more about Restore Detox Centers
Filling the Void book by Steven T. Ginsburg
Overcoming the Fear and Lies of Addiction e-book
How to Love and Set Boundaries Without Enabling Addiction e-book
Call Us for Addiction Recovery:  1-800-982-5530

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Transcript

Addiction Allergy And The Stakes

Steven Ginsburg 0:00

I have an allergy to mind-altering substances. One is too many, and a thousand is never enough.

Peer Pressure On A Brazil Boat

Half Measures Avail Us Nothing

Steve Coughran 0:07

This is the Addiction Recovery Podcast with Steven T. Ginsburg, founder of Restore Detox Centers in Sunny, California. Enjoy your experience. Steven, it is interesting because the other week I was in Brazil and I was hanging out with some of my friends for a jiu-jitsu camp and a lot of you know great, great people to be around. But it was interesting because during one of the days we went out on this boating trip and you know, they knew I didn't drink and I don't drink. And one of the other guys, he's like, you know what, I'm not gonna drink for today. He's like, I just I just want to feel good and I want to feel good tomorrow when we get on the mats and we roll again. And then everybody else on the boat, you know, they're like, come on, just drink. It's a beautiful day. We're you know, we're on the boat, we're in Brazil. This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Just have a beer, you know. It's like, no, I'm good. And and then it's like kept pressuring him, kept pressuring, and finally he's like, Okay, I'll have a beer. And then later I was talking to one of the other individuals in the group, and he's like, Yeah, you know, my wife used to say, Come on, just have a glass of wine with me. Have a glass of wine with me every night. And then one day he's like, you know, I was tired of being guilted and feeling bad, so I just said, I don't drink, I don't drink anymore. And I was like, really, and he's and he's like, Yeah, and for five years I haven't touched any alcohol. And so we got into this conversation where it's like it's so much easier to be a hundred percent committed to something and resolute about something instead of like 98 or 95. Because if we're not consistent, and I love how you always talk about consistency, it just creates just more complexity in our lives, or it just it opens the door, right? When there is that 5% chance that Steve's gonna drink today or smoke or do do drugs or whatever it may be, versus just being like 100%, I don't do this. And I want to get your thoughts on this.

Power Language And Identity Shifts

Steven Ginsburg 2:10

You are pulling from one of the most imperative and important parts for me on the recovery journey. And thank you for this. As usual, very poignant, very relevant, very impactful talking point. You know, in how it works, it very specifically says a couple of things it references. Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Uh, and the founders, they were asked if there was one thing they could have a redo on and with AA, they would have changed that verbiage to never have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. And never is a very taboo word in a day-at-a-time world. Right. And this the second imperative part where how it works is concerned is there's another important part that talks about the fact that F measures avail us nothing. We stood at the turning point, you know. So half measures, three quarters of a measure, a quarter measure, anything other than a full measure will avail us what? Like anything, like can I get a little bit if I give a little bit? No, it's absolutely 1000% all or nothing. Yeah. Period. So what I love about that, and what I love about where we're at with this conversation is the chicken is involved, but the pig is committed, and you can't be a little bit pregnant. Uh, this is an all or nothing proposition. People who have a DEF CON 12,000 peanut allergy, they don't six years later go down that aisle in Ralph's and be like, you know, I've never seen those unshelled pistachios before. Let me give it a whirl and see how the ICU fits these days. It's just not part of the equation. And that is the same as far as this part of our world and our life goes. Uh, if you suffer from what I suffer from, I am an addict and an alcoholic. I'm not kind of sort of maybe entirely. I have an allergy to mind-altering substances. One is too many, and a thousand is never enough. It's an all or nothing proposition. So I am really with you on this. And this is where I get super triggered. I'm gonna turn it back to you in one second. There's no negotiating. I'm not interested in a workaround. There's no magic pill, there's not a genium bottle, there's not some system. Like to quote one of my sponsees who I love, the fight is fixed. And if you let the disease in, the disease is gonna win. But there's good news behind that. The solution is guaranteed. Millions of people globally have been through the resolution of the solution, through the footwork, have been enjoying a remission and reprieve on a daily basis.

Steve Coughran 4:57

Yeah, and I agree 100%. And I think the words we choose too, they have a big impact because words are so powerful. And what I mean by that is let's just say I'm not gonna eat chocolate cake, you know, for the name the rest of the year. If you're asking me, if you're like, hey, Steve, I I know this great place, I got this chocolate lava cake, ice cream, dude, it's the best. And I say, sorry, Steven, I can't eat chocolate cake. That almost puts me in this powerless position where it's like, oh, I can't, you know, I'm like this victim or whatever it may be, versus, oh, I don't eat chocolate cake. And it's just a small twist in words, which one set of words gives us power, and then the other one makes us feel like, oh, I'm missing out on this or that, or like if I did have the chance, I would do it. And so I don't tell people, oh yeah, I can't drink. You know, my religion, I can't drink because of my religion. Oh, I can't drink because I made a promise to my wife. Oh, I can't drink because of this or that. No, I don't drink. I don't. Exactly. Not to drink. And but I also think this doesn't just relate to drugs and alcohol. You know, a lot of times in these episodes we talk about this, but I just think anything in life, anytime we're holding two different thoughts in our heads, it takes up mental space and it creates anxiety or fear or just complexity, you know, just clouds our judgment in so many different ways versus being resolute about something. You know, like no, like you know, like you know, tomorrow you're gonna go to the gym. Boom, you already made up your mind. It's not like you're gonna wake up and be like, ah, should I go? Should I not go? It's like you you already made up your mind. Boom. You just wake up and you feel like crap or you're tired, but you're like, I'm going, already decided.

Teaching Kids To Stand Firm

Steven Ginsburg 6:44

Listen, absolutely. It's it's very much the word that comes to mind is preordained, and it's a good word for it that God's giving me right now. You know, these are these are things that are gonna be a part of that daily routine. Uh, this this morning, uh, there's a 7 a.m. meeting that I love on Monday mornings. Uh it's funny because it happens to be in a bar. It's called the Belly Up, but it's an incredible meeting, it's an incredible meeting. There were 75 people there this morning. I woke up about 10 minutes before my alarm. I knew I was going this morning. There wasn't a moment during the morning as I was brushing my teeth or anything else where I was thinking for one second that I wasn't going to go to that meeting. Uh, nothing was wrong. There wasn't anything I needed. There was no sense of urgency. It was just, I like the idea of starting my Monday morning and starting the week with a morning meeting. Uh, 21 years, some months, and some days into my sobriety. There's nothing wrong with starting a Monday with a meeting. And it's because so many things are going right, not because anything's going wrong. It's because a little bit, a little bit, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. And that disease that I suffer from is constantly trying to flip the script and tell me that I don't have that disease. And so again, it lends itself right back to where we started, which is half measures truly will avail us nothing. And we stand at that turning point. And that that protection and care that I ask for with complete abandon is so that for today, a day at a time, I continue to be marked safe from that disease.

Steve Coughran 8:14

Yeah, I agree completely with that. And I also believe that this is important to teach our kids this principle because, you know, they're going to be faced with all different types of pressures and influences in their life. I mean, the world's crazy right now. And what they have to go through is completely different than what we even grew up with with social media and whatnot. And we've talked about drug testing kids and giving them an out with that. But uh, you know, I think it's just so important for kids to be able to stand firm on certain things. So then they don't have to worry about trying to make a decision when maybe their decision making is clouded by pressures or other factors. They've just already made up their mind. Then they could just enjoy and then they don't even like go down these paths.

Steven Ginsburg 8:57

Spot on. It's it's spot on. It's a cautionary tale again. And one of the best things we can do with our children is be bold and transparent with information and let them know anything they start, they're gonna have to stop. And it all applies itself to this, and it's just such a great thing for you to carry back with you from such a wonderful trip. You know, if you're not having a drink, or if you're not drinking, you don't ever have to stop drinking or or not be drinking on an occasion because drinking is just not a part of your life. It just is an easier, softer way. And there is so much devastation these days happening to so many people at the hands of something that is so readily available, which is alcohol.

Steve Coughran 9:35

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and a lot of people are suffering, a lot of people are struggling, and and there, but there's also so much hope and brightness right around the corner. So we want to hear from you. What like what's your perspective on this? And what kind of things do you stand firm on in your life? And are there things that you wish you could be more resolute with? We'd love to hear from you. You can always email us at hello at restore detoxcenters.com. And uh yeah, we'd love to hear your feedback on this episode's topic.

Steven Ginsburg 10:04

Steve, thank you as always for just such remarkable talking points. I feel like we're just being of service to everyone today. If you are out there and you have any questions, you need anything from us, we love that. We are for you, we love you. Everyone have a safe and sober day.