Terribly Unoblivious
Dive deep into the realms of the unconventional with "Terribly Unoblivious" – a podcast where norms are challenged, thoughts expanded, and openness cultivated. This is not your average dialogue space; it’s a confluence where curiosity meets a willingness to listen to diverse opinions. Every episode is a journey that untangles the threads of conventionality, exploring the world through lenses unfettered by the ordinary. Join us as we engage in enlightening conversations that ignite insights, foster understanding, and provoke thoughtfulness beyond the visible horizons of societal expectations. Get ready to transcend the ordinary and embrace the extraordinary with "Terribly Unoblivious."
Terribly Unoblivious
Time is Your Most Valuable Resource
Have you ever felt that heavy blanket of anxiety or depression weighing on your chest, making even breathing feel like a monumental task? This deeply personal episode takes you into the heart of what it means to struggle with self-worth and discover healthier pathways forward.
Brad and Dylan share candid reflections on their mental health journeys, highlighting that breakthrough moment when you finally find a better approach to life but feel frustrated about all the time spent doing things the "wrong way." They explore how underlying many of our struggles is a fundamental question of self-worth—not whether we need to grow, but whether we can value ourselves exactly as we are right now.
The conversation weaves through several powerful themes that will resonate with anyone navigating their own mental health landscape. They discuss Mark Cuban's Cost Plus Drugs initiative and how it's dramatically reducing medication costs for countless Americans. They examine our cultural difficulty with saying "no" without lengthy explanations, revealing how boundary-setting connects directly to our sense of worth. And they challenge listeners to reconsider how they value their time, perhaps our most finite resource.
Throughout, there's a refreshing honesty about parenting, coaching, and the importance of allowing controlled hardships in our lives. Rather than shielding ourselves or our children from every discomfort, they suggest that appropriate challenges help develop resilience and realism about our place in the world.
This episode serves as a gentle reminder that you deserve the basic elements of self-care—clean clothes, healthy food, and physical wellbeing—not because you've earned them through productivity, but because of your inherent value as a human being. Take a moment to listen and reflect on where you might be undervaluing yourself and how small shifts in perspective could lead to profound changes in your life.
on a desolate frozen tundra surrounded by mindless brain-numbing cold takes, two bros trek through the nothingness to bring hope to a new generation. You are about to experience brad and dylan's hot takes here we go again again all right, pop the bottle okay ready? Yep, I have arthritic hands. Point the mic at it. It's not directional, okay, right I?
Dylan:don't know. Oh, hear that that's we're on a pirate ship. We're on a pirate ship. It's not rum, though. It's bourbon, doesn't matter. Oh, when it was the last time we podcasted it's a barrel.
Brad:That's a light pour.
Dylan:That was a very light pour, for, oh, I'm a light guy, you are a featherweight? Not really. No, you're more. What would you?
Brad:I have dropped weight.
Dylan:Yeah, yeah, why. Why do you think you're less stressed?
Brad:Am I less stressed? Yeah, I'm. Why do you think you're less stressed? Am I less stressed? Yeah, I'm. I'm less stressed maybe. Maybe not at all, uh why, I don't know. I'm active. I process foods kind of properly now yeah, how is your?
Dylan:how is your gi? It's mostly good, mostly good. Yeah, any I mean, I don't have we ever talked about your gi issues on the podcast yeah, a lot, yeah, I mean, you know, what I do worry about relapse not well, now, I do not till no not till now, okay, okay, but what, uh?
Speaker 2:apocalyptic times, you know and everyone's like oh, what if we run out of energy?
Brad:What if we run out of gasoline?
Speaker 2:Oh, it's your milk supply, it's not going to be your problem.
Brad:Yeah, but my problem is if I don't get my pills, oh, I'm just going to die shitting myself.
Dylan:Yeah.
Brad:So that's fun. That's something to look forward to.
Dylan:So how much of the surgery fixed you versus the medications you're on now? The medications are supposed to keep it at bay. Okay, so it's going to help reduce future strictures.
Brad:It's supposed to help, uh, keep inflammation from happening, essentially, so it's tylenol for your gut. Yeah, really expensive tylenol, yeah, although less expensive now because mark cuban has a pharmacy yeah, yeah, yeah, and so everything every some cool stuff. Everybody has switched to that like all at once yeah, I had a couple.
Dylan:I was in one of my um, I was in one of my co-workers offices the other day and he's like, oh, I've switched everything to the mark cuban pharmacy. He's like it's amazing because he has a it might be a thyroid medication or something and um. I didn't even know it's, it's doing this five percent of the original cost. Yeah, you know it's crazy, yeah.
Brad:Yeah, and it's so wild because I'm in the, like the medication groups, mm-hmm, it's a cost plus drugs, correct Is that? Yeah, yep, mark Cuban cost plus.
Dylan:I like that he put his name in there.
Brad:Yeah, I kind of enjoy that, yeah, but what it varies from, like, say, the shot that I do, I've seen anything from like 12 to upwards of 40 000, okay, per shot. What's your shot? That's the medication, what's it called? Uh, stelaro is what I was on.
Brad:Oh, okay, now it's like I'm just, I'm in the gastrointestinal section so I didn't even know they had generics for all of these things, and they have not just one, but a lot of them, and a couple months ago, apparently all, all the insurance companies either found out about this or were all switching to it at the same time, because everybody in the groups are like, well, I'm not on this anymore, I'm going to Old Toffee.
Dylan:Bio-syndrome. Yeah, that's what I'm on actually.
Brad:But there's a bunch of different ones.
Dylan:It doesn't give me a price on here.
Brad:But it was Prescription required. Thank you, yeah, it was 10% or less. That's awesome Of what I mean, of what your insurance is paying, not of what you're paying. Yeah, so it goes from hey, we could charge you $40,000, um, but we're going to charge you 12. And then, of that 12, we're going to charge you 40, and then we have copay insurance, so you pay zero. So did we need to start at 40, or?
Dylan:yeah, no, yeah, there's always.
Brad:I'm like what motherfucker is playing 40 just?
Dylan:cash. Yeah, just it's kind of like it's almost the big time meth dealer just rolling 40.
Brad:Just cash, yeah. Just it's kind of like it's almost the farm big time meth dealer Just rolling in cash is like yeah, I'll take, I'll pay 40 K cash every eight weeks. My plan's not. I don't have health insurance.
Dylan:My plan's not that great, it's the one it's the insurance. The drug company's like worth it. Yeah, insurance is wild. I mean, we've touched on that a little bit and it's it's like we started at 40 it's not even insurance, so it's like we've started at 40 and now we're down to two it's like how did we, how did we get?
Brad:like, the drug companies are like this is worth 80, but we'll, we'll take 20, yeah wait, it's worth 80 000. Yeah, it's 80 000. We'll take 20 dollars. And whose baby are you stealing for to make this work doesn't make sense.
Dylan:yeah, it's almost like the used car salesman, where they start high and then they're finally like all right, we'll take it. You know, just keep whittling them down, dude it's fucking cars.
Brad:I can't what I can't right now.
Dylan:Are you talking about your car? No, what car? All of them. What do we say about cars? What are we angry about? Really expensive. I feel like everything has gotten expensive.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but they're things that I used to own and you're like fuck, are you in the?
Dylan:market for a new car. Is that why we're coming? No I, just I. What have you been looking at like what?
Dylan:so like that old shitty bronco I used to have, that's like four times more now yeah it's like hey, but it's still shitty yeah people it's four, four times more yeah so people figured out how to fix cars and do it in a repeatable kind of easier plug and play way. No, they're not fixed, I'm just more, I'm saying. So cars like a bronco become more desirable because they are a fun, attractive kind of feel good yeah, but they're not, not even no, they're ugly are we talking, pre-oj bronco?
Brad:gen one or gen like like the oj-ish. So yeah, the gen 2 oj adjacent, maybe okay.
Dylan:So no, the early ones got an oj bronco. No, and I drove it for a year.
Brad:It was awesome mean they can look good, for sure.
Speaker 2:But I mean they don't look that good.
Brad:Yeah, I don't know. People are wanting like. It seems weird to me because I grew up with them so they don't feel like a classic car, even though they could be 40 to 45 years old I think it's.
Dylan:How many years old does your car have to be before you can register it as a quote-unquote antique?
Brad:It might be 30.
Dylan:You get really, really cheap registration on it.
Brad:Vintage might be 30. I don't know.
Dylan:I don't know, but you think about that like a late 90s, early 2000 thousands Corolla and how reliable it was. And you just oh, yeah, you're just like, oh, he's got vintage plates on it. Yeah, I mean, I'm paying $10 a year in registration, saving lots of money.
Brad:Oh, if only no.
Speaker 2:I want to.
Brad:I want an old forerunner.
Dylan:Now first gen forerunner. Now first gen forerunner. You and a lot of people um, they're not terrible yet. Well, get in there before they become terrible. You're losing money right now.
Brad:Every second you wait, you're losing money I mean, I'm not really I'm not spending it. Yeah, you know, though, it's like the, the wife, that's like look at all the money I saved. You're like you spent twenty thousand dollars we had this, we had this conversation ten thousand the discount, the discount math.
Dylan:You're like I'm literally losing money if I don't buy it. It's 20 off. You're like that's, that's not how that works.
Brad:Yeah, it's it's worth it if you're reselling it yeah I know people used to do that. Remember when people used to do that on eBay. They probably still do that.
Dylan:Find arbitrage situations, find something really cheap and resell. Yeah, they would do it at Aldi.
Brad:They would buy out Aldi of whatever, whatever. Yeah, like, oh, these candles are super hot right now. I'm going to go buy all of them and then jack it up four times yeah.
Dylan:People aren't doing that with 4Runners, though, so doesn't make sense. What are you going to do to the 4Runner nothing.
Brad:We're not getting it. I'm never going to get it.
Dylan:I feel like you're a liar, just like I've never gotten any car that I've ever wanted and you don't even fix the car that you want them to fix, which is the best part. You're just really kind of losing on all fronts in the car division. Yeah.
Brad:I could go fix that one. But which is the best part? You just really kind of losing on all fronts in the car division. Yeah, I could go fix that one. But who has time to drive cars? I don't know. I mean, I would rather I don't have time for cars, but I have time to build an airplane. I mean, you don't have to go anywhere to build it right now. Nah, right now. Yeah, is that going to get harder?
Dylan:Oh, it'll 100% get harder when it's at the shop, although I do think I mean the shop's not that far away I think I will gain. Would I gain in operational efficiency by being at the shop, the space, the layout, being able to have multiple parts of it working on at the same time?
Speaker 2:Because right now.
Dylan:I can only work on one thing at a time, and sometimes you have to wait for it because there's a part you need, or or whatever it's clearing, it's drying, and then I have to completely basically disassemble my work area to start something new. Oh, I feel you I know, I know, you know. Yeah, I know you know, but I think that's what it's like.
Dylan:So I think I'll be able to maximize. I think it'll kind of be a wash I mean, it was still the motivation will be more difficult in terms of getting home from work and then okay, I got to change and now I actually got to actually get out the door. It was nice to. It is nice, I should say, where I I come home and I can get some chores done around the house and then come up for dinner still, and then go back down and go right to bed when I'm tired.
Dylan:it is too convenient sometimes it's also dangerous in that sense, where you're like I should be probably going on a date with my significant other right now, instead I'm getting sucked into a. I'm getting sucked into a project that I shouldn't be doing I mean it's important to do it, but it's like I don't know. It was like when you came over, we were all excited to podcast. And then I started reading that electrical diagram and I kind of started zoning in on that.
Brad:Yeah, I know Cause you didn't. I was knocking out there for 20 minutes.
Dylan:You weren't.
Brad:It was. I watched you on the camera. Shut up, watcher. That's what we're watching right now. Watcher, watch the Watcher.
Dylan:You were telling me about this, yeah.
Brad:I want to stop watching it. Then stop watching it. We have two episodes left. I was watching and this is pretty typical of us.
Dylan:Who's the main character? Who are?
Brad:the actors in it. Naomi Watts is in it, really, naomi, mm-hmm. Yeah, shooter McGavin's in it. Mm. Yeah, timely, yeah, shooter McGavin's in it, yeah, timely, yeah, now that he's making a war tomorrow.
Dylan:Happy tomorrow.
Brad:Tomorrow, I don't know, it's just stop watching.
Dylan:Yeah, I'm watching trash TV on the treadmill right now. It's awesome. What's that? It's called the Royals. Elizabeth Hurley is the queen of England. Okay, it was an older one. It's awesome. What's that? It's called the Royals. Elizabeth Hurley is the Queen of England, okay.
Brad:Was that an older one? It was on E.
Dylan:I think it's from 2019 maybe. Okay, it's four seasons.
Brad:This one was a couple years ago. They get you because it's supposed to be based on a true story, except it's not at all.
Dylan:Really, who is the anna delvey, the, the fake heiress? You remember? She committed massive fraud, she tricked everyone and things.
Brad:Yeah, she used to have the hotels for free and everything's not like becoming anna or something. There's a yeah, but at the very beginning you know the description it's.
Dylan:This is very loosely based on. We took a lot of liberties right. You know what? What is?
Brad:the best like show or movie that you think is lord of the rings most like what happened in real life. He didn't let me finish, uh, shit top gun.
Dylan:Uh yeah, armageddon, a tropic thunder. Armageddon, I think, is probably the best documentary ever made. We've talked about this top two documentaries is top gun and Armageddon. It's amazing that Bruce Willis was in two major events. Um, you know, but it has, but it has to be a recreation.
Brad:So, like I would say you could say grizzly man, because it was actually real. Uh, but that's, that's not a recreation Um.
Dylan:I think they said I don't know, Uh, the King speech. What about it? I don't know. That was what he say. The movie.
Speaker 2:Hmm.
Dylan:You know that one about King George. So queen Elizabeth's dad was a King, he was the second in line, and his brother's the one that abdicated for the Holly the female, the, the Hollywood actress back in the thirties or twenties, thirties or four.
Speaker 2:I don't remember.
Dylan:So Lizzie wasn't there. Their their line wasn't technically in line, but then he just was like, well, parliament wouldn't let him marry a non-royal, essentially, and so he the heart wants what the heart wants. The heart wants what the heart wants. But George had a stuttering problem. He was also king of the jungle. Brendan Fraser made a hell of a comeback.
Brad:Yeah, yeah. So anyway, that was a good movie. Why it was?
Dylan:pretty the king's speech. Oh, george of the jungle too, yeah.
Brad:Capote oh, I never saw that one.
Dylan:That one was intense.
Brad:Maybe Dazed and Confused.
Dylan:Yeah, matthew McConaughey talks about his role in that and he said he hates the fact one of the ending scenes, when they're in the football field and they're going to go get the Aerosmith tickets and he walks out of camera and then he comes back into frame and he goes. I was, I was this character, you know the guy the entire film and he goes and then I ruined it at the end by doing that. He goes because I wanted to be in the shot, because it was kind of a free form. It was a free form take he goes. But that's not my character. My character never cared to come back and be in the spotlight. He was his own person.
Dylan:I don't remember and he so matthew talks about how I walk out of frame and then he goes. I got insecure as an actor so I came back and kind of ad-lib some stuff and he goes and I realized later that he just that character is cool. He doesn't care if people are coming or not with him, he would be in the car going. We're going to get Aerosmith tickets, whether I'm by myself or with everyone else, I mean, you could come with me.
Brad:It'd be a lot cooler if you did, but I can't think of my favorite right now.
Dylan:We're talking about too many happy things at the moment. You came in saying you were going to be angry. Hot takes.
Brad:No, hot takes, not hot takes, hot takes Already.
Dylan:No, we can keep going. Then How's that, woodford, by the way?
Brad:It's good. Sorry, sean, we're not drinking bourbon right now Well not River Pilot oh, feeling good.
Dylan:Yeah, the new mood therapy. The new mood therapy, yeah.
Brad:I got to say when you threw this book at me I don't like the cover. It's from the 80s, I don't like that, it's a thick, like it looks like a it's a big boy.
Speaker 2:Reader's Digest book.
Brad:It's a big boy.
Dylan:It's a very 19, it feels very 1990s. That kind of cover, that just kind of feels.
Brad:Yeah, it does. Look at how much clutter is on there. That's a lot, a lot of information. It would take me a solid minute just to read the cover, mm-hmm.
Dylan:David Burns MD.
Brad:Clinically proven drug-free treatment for depression? Yeah. I don't know, about that. Oh, nip negative feelings in the bud. That's very modern. Deal with guilt. Yeah, yeah, no pass, just hold that. Hold that gut feeling, avoid the painful downward spiral of depression.
Speaker 2:That's what we're talking about today.
Brad:Yeah, less of a spiral, more of a bonsai.
Dylan:It is fun just to jump off the cliff, isn't it? For a moment you're riding high. For a moment you're going up still, and then all of a sudden it's a free fall.
Brad:I saw a clip today of tandem base jumping that sounds like which I have not. I know I've not seen that before you just doubled your mass and it's.
Dylan:I don't know if you know this, but mass times accelerate mass times acceleration well, it doesn't really matter.
Brad:There's a theoretical limit, unless there's a theoretical limit unless your 9.8 meter square is, or you're in a vacuum. Yeah, I mean, you don't want to push the limits of when the chute can open, like hey, as soon as you're clear, you have to throw this or curse blat. You're like, hey, what if to throw this? Or curse Blatt? You're like hey, what if we had, like I don't know, 170 pounds? That's not a good idea.
Brad:It's already suspect at best, just watching the beginning of it. So she's got one of the selfie stick things and they're standing on the edge of a cliff. It looks like Utah and I'm just thinking how how does this go off smoothly, because she is not calm about it? The, the person that's tandeming what?
Dylan:so why would you as the jump, even as the designated jumper, why would you?
Brad:I don't want, he is he was the calmest motherfucker I've ever seen, I know, but that's what I'm like. It just seems like such a big risk because there's okay let's say she was calm and there's no time slips coming off, like I'm sure the jump off was pretty reasonably safe, like maybe it was a little bit of an overhang, or you know it would have something like that if you're gonna overhang, but uh, I was like no, I don't like this at all.
Brad:And she screamed almost the entire way down like she was gonna hit the ground and they didn't he did a good, good job. I don't know, it was a very emotional moment for her. Did she land and is she good? Yeah, I think she was letting a lot of shit out.
Dylan:Maybe that's why she was doing it Tandem skydiving or base jumping. I feel like you should have.
Brad:I feel like, Actually tandem base jumping not the craziest thing I've seen in the last couple of weeks. What's the craziest thing you've seen? Tandem downhill mountain biking oh yeah, Tandem based Moab, Utah.
Dylan:Okay, Um tour agency, oh adventure tourism company offering tandem based jumping experiences. It's a choice of off road or hiking approaches.
Brad:That's. That's one of those things where you look at your tour guide and you're like, how are you feeling today? I just you feel good about it. You in a good space right now. You haven't been reading any, you know. Oh, I'm sitting around here reading how to kill yourself books.
Dylan:So what they do is they're not throwing the shoot themselves. As soon as they jump there, they're um, they're lined back to earth.
Brad:So as soon as they jump there. Oh no, this guy threw it Okay.
Speaker 2:Well, it looks like these ones are these ones are oh no.
Dylan:Oh he's holding onto the okay, cause this guy had it. These ones are oh, no, oh, he's holding on to the Okay.
Brad:Because this guy had it in his hand.
Dylan:But you see, like here yeah, they've got a little pulley system back, but it's like that's yeah, I don't know. Yeah.
Brad:Yeah he definitely threw it.
Dylan:The tandem-based Moab team is made up of a former elementary school teacher, a firefighter and an er nurse. I'm in, I'm fucking sold. Uh, all of our team members are current united states parachute association certified tandem instructors. With requires possession of a current faa medical, including physical and drug tests. I don't really do that.
Brad:That, though, because a lot of those are no-no places.
Dylan:They've got three different jumps. It says right here Perriott Mesa, mineral Bottom and Tombstone. Tombstone costs you $550. Mineral Bottom costs you $750. And Perriott Mesa? I don't want a base jump at a jump called Tombstone $1,500. Let's click in here for information.
Brad:Welcome to your base jump today. I like to.
Dylan:I like this, I like the scrolling ribbon bachelorette parties, corporate retreats Like yeah, sure, that's a great idea.
Brad:We will be taking the trek up to. You're going to die cliff today.
Dylan:Tombstone is located closest to downtown Moab and is a classic base jump offering a one hour hike with gorgeous red rock views. Standing at 400 feet tall is the approach to the parking. You know what people in Moab give a shit about what?
Brad:Nothing. It's true, they're just like fuck it. Also, a ton of international people in Moab give a shit about what? Nothing. It's true, they're just like fuck it. Also, a ton of international people in Moab, lots.
Dylan:It's a big mountain biking and off-roading destination. The One of them, perriot Mesa, is the pinnacle of base exit points the Jeep is the jeeping there? Griffin's building a. You know, in typical fashion, my brother thousand projects, he's building a Jeep he's building a Jeep right now. You haven't seen it.
Brad:No oh yeah, what's he going to's he gonna do with it?
Dylan:I, you're not asking nothing because the frame's bare right now and he's welding on new um attach points for suspension. So yeah, and then I'm beefing it up yeah, I thought I thought he had a bronco to do that before. Um, he sent that out to that guy in arizona, california, I don't know, california, supposedly he's putting a corvette motor in that, I don't know.
Dylan:Yeah, this is what, griffin, this is an exact quote from griffin, I get 80 there and then I just don't know how I want to finish it, so I just stop and it drives my dad batshit crazy, and I love it so much.
Brad:Uh, that part's fun, I think he. He sounds a little bit like my dad and like he just enjoys having it. Yes, like it's part of part of the process.
Dylan:Yeah, I also think that maybe in a weird twisted way that he's afraid to finish it. He doesn't griffin doesn't like finality sorry, griffin, if you ever listen to these. Uh well, I think there's this thing that it's well.
Brad:If it's over, it's over and it's like well, you can have iterations, so yeah like try using it and then maybe you don't like something about it and you can change it, you know maybe you just blow the motor up, so you gotta put
Dylan:a new one in.
Brad:I don't know.
Dylan:I wouldn't suggest blowing a motor up.
Brad:I mean yeah, tomato, tomato.
Dylan:I mean, I blew up my jeep motor. Not in a fun way, though. No, that was about it was. I was right next to arthur's deli and moly was it yeah, going up that hill, all of a sudden I was like, oh, that is not an exciting hill. It was not a motor, uh-huh, that was really embarrassing I did go into arthur's and buy a sandwich, though I waited for the tow truck.
Brad:I just I always enjoy doing the thing like oh, you got a classic car. It's like, yeah, I love driving it. I'm gonna drive it. Like, oh you, you trailer it to shows and like win trophies. I'm like no I don't want to just drive it. That's. That's the fun part for me and other people.
Brad:It's like I like finding all the correct parts for it or I like just fucking working on it, or I like walking out to my garage and seeing it yeah, or I like telling people that I have it and then we get to talk about it yeah, I met and I'm always like didn't you have kids for?
Dylan:that reason I met a guy at oshkosh this weekend and he was definitely the guy that liked to talk. He had a Grumman Widgeon. It's a seaplane, five-person, twin-engine, amphibious. Is that the one that goes underwater? No, oh, it's a high wing, but the engines are on the wings. It's a really cool airplane. And he did a full restore on it A beautiful panel, but the engines are on the wings. It's, it's a really cool airplane.
Dylan:And he, um, he did a full restore on it, a beautiful panel, beautiful paint work. It was yellow, um, but he sat underneath the wing in the shade and people would just walk up in that guy. You knew that he did all of that work because he just wanted to talk about it and he, every question anyone had, he went into an excruciating detail. So I stripped this. This is what we do. And then you know, there's a couple of guys that I found that knew something about this, and then we went and he just talked and you could just it was his passion project, but it's, it still continues to serve him because he just likes to talk about it with people, which?
Dylan:is that cool, it's really cool.
Brad:That's cool because there's other people that are also doing some version of that. Yeah, it is kind of weird, though.
Dylan:There's gatekeepers in this world, though. Which are like oh yeah, that's my knowledge and you're like well, what are you gatekeeping for? I don't do that. I understand intellectual property. When it comes to like your finances, and if you're like, if I give this secret away, my finances are screwed. But some people, there's a lot of things in this world that we gatekeep for no reason.
Brad:It is weird, though, that, like at car shows, that's what guys will talk about. But I mean, they'll do that. I did this, I did this, I did this, but they're telling other guys that have also done something similar. Neither of them are going to do it again.
Dylan:Yeah, it's just yeah. Let's just tell you, I don't know what.
Brad:Achievements.
Dylan:It's achievements, but it's also you create. You're creating a bond through commiseration, almost where, when you do hard things with other, when you do hard things, you somehow create a better bond than just doing something chill or happy with something. Oh yeah, you know, when you, and that's oh what. That's that's called something hazing trauma, something trauma trauma bonding, trauma bonding I think it's trauma when you go through something together that's extremely hard, and so to that point you can kind of create an instant friendship with someone unhealthy relationship.
Dylan:Well we all know that we enjoy those Um. What was that Uh?
Speaker 2:Oh, uh, all know that we enjoy those. Um, what was that?
Dylan:uh, oh, continue I'm gonna find this now, but my favorite was is he was somebody was asking about corrosion, because it's you know, water will rust metal and so that's the biggest thing with seaplanes is everyone's like whoa, what do you do for rust and all this stuff? He goes. I I don't get rust on the airplane itself. He goes and he just wouldn't.
Dylan:I mean, this was the one he went to the most in depth he's like it's the fuel tanks, it's the, it's the fuel that hasn't been vetted properly. You know that filters, like the vapor that comes up in the fuel tanks, he goes, the fuel, the fuel tanks are always wanting to try to corrode. So that's what I always got to deal with. And I was just laughing and he's like I got, he goes. I get a little bit of leaking in the floor Cause it's a wood, it has wood in there, and he goes and then, after it's been in the water for a little bit, the wood wild. It was just fun to listen, speaking of wood and water and ships. Uh, what was the one of the four? What was one of our first episodes about the the ship, when you replace all the parts.
Brad:Yeah, do you know who the fuck brought that up to me? Who my son? He's listening to our podcast. No, no, we're sitting at dinner and I don't remember what we're talking about. But he goes yeah, I was listening it's. It's kind of like when you replace all the parts of something and then you have to decide if it's still the same thing, like it was a greek thing. I go yeah, the ship of theseus yeah and he's like yeah.
Brad:And I was like, yeah, we did a fucking podcast on it, dumb, dumb. And he's like you did. I was like yeah, because he listens to joe bartolozzi, who's a youtuber. I don't know that guy he's a youtuber.
Dylan:He makes more money than we do.
Brad:That's a lot okay, more I'm really sad, I know god damn it, and I think most of his money comes from just reaction. Oh, I don't get that either, by the way.
Dylan:I don't understand how they get so big doing those kind of videos, but and I don't know what he started doing. It's maybe because they're having emotions for people. I don't think that I don't think the new generation understands emotions.
Brad:God, damn it what. I don't know what to do with them. Hot takes yeah, maybe not.
Dylan:How much time do your kids spend on the screen? A lot Like A lot. What's a lot?
Brad:A work day.
Dylan:Okay, I mean yeah on average, and do you think that you think they're consuming content that's enhancing their cognitive abilities or degrading their cognitive? Uh, no what what are you doing? I don, I don't know um, can you? Hear mine cut out there for a second too. Yeah it's.
Brad:It's definitely not enhancing all the time. Yeah, because they'll be on youtube and like there's, there's a lot of good shit on here, you can get.
Dylan:There's a lot of really you can get a phd in whatever you want there's a lot of real I on here, you can get
Brad:there's a lot of really. You can get a PhD in whatever you want. There's a lot of real. I mean, and I'm not saying you, you, you have to be watching all these educational videos, but there's all kinds of shit on. There's like mini movies on there, these little 10, 20, 30 minute things on, all kinds of stuff that are really interesting, and they just watch people play video games. I don't like it. I don't, I don't.
Dylan:You know I have a lot of guys that I work.
Brad:I don't like that one. I don't like that one. You're not good at this, it's just lubricated. I don't like that one. I don't like that one. That one wasn't good either. You're not good at this, it's just lubricated, it's not a problem. It shouldn't squeak when it's lubricated. No, it's not. So yeah, I just don't. We all have our things right.
Dylan:Yeah, I'm still trying. I.
Brad:I, I played video games growing up and I did what Atari, uh, nintendo and Atari. But I can remember one summer when I was it was before we moved, so I would have been maybe around Corbin's age. Okay, and what were you playing? Roger Clemens baseball? Oh yeah, because you could control how you slid.
Dylan:Yeah.
Brad:You can move your hand, yeah.
Speaker 2:Basically that was it.
Brad:That was the only other difference, cause the other one was like RBI baseball, uh, I think was a big one at the time.
Dylan:What was the PC? Backyard baseball. The kids that play?
Brad:Yeah, there's a backyard baseball with the kids that play, maybe, yeah, and so, like he would come over and we would like my best friend to come over in the mornings we would play like four or five hours of Roger Clemens baseball and then we'd go outside and play the rest of the day Like when we did that pretty much for an entire summer.
Brad:You'd come over the Roger Clemens baseball, we eat spaghettios and meatballs, we make Kool-Aid and we'd go outside all day. That's awesome. I don't know that Shannon had that same kind of deal Today when I got home after work. Two of Corbin's friends come over. Now they're at the age where everybody starts to roam around town and do that thing.
Dylan:What's the what's the app you guys have on their phones? What so that they you can track them? Uh, remember I was at your house, though I don't believe in that, okay.
Brad:Oh yeah, he's like ah, my parents have a phone.
Dylan:He's like ah, my parents have a phone. I don't know if they're going to like me going to a hundred miles.
Brad:I don't know if we should do this.
Dylan:Yeah.
Brad:Shannon always asked me how fast can Phoenix go on his bike? Yeah, she doesn't know. She's like a 17 miles an hour fast. Can he do that on his bike? You can do seven.
Dylan:I was like no problem.
Brad:You could run 17 miles an hour.
Dylan:Can you?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Dylan:How fast you Asian. I think 22 is the number that sticks on my head.
Brad:It was like well, I mean, if you're falling down a steep hill probably.
Dylan:Yeah.
Brad:So, uh, so they get.
Dylan:They get a little bit of both oh shit, sorry, 27.8 miles per hour wow that's fast that's pretty quick. His average was 23.35.
Brad:I honestly thought it was like 14, but I could be wrong. That is wild.
Dylan:Sitting here reading how to kill yourself books. That's one of my. We're going to have to actually get that on the. I'm going to have to put that on the pad. You said those weren't for you. It's not. It's not the point. You, it's not the point. That's not the point.
Brad:Oh, overcoming the sense of worthlessness, oh god Don't highlight my book.
Dylan:Hold on, I'm just going to tear this page out.
Brad:I gotta take this home. I'll buy you a copy, man, this is it's verbose. Home, I'll buy you a copy. Man, this is it's verbose. This is too much for me right now. You spiraling? No, I just have a real going through a period of growth.
Dylan:What kind of growth I?
Brad:don't know, my joints hurt.
Dylan:Just kidding, too much milk, calcium buildup?
Brad:No, probably not. Probably cartilage non buildup, oh God, I know.
Dylan:It's weird, I've got this knee. Yeah, it's just going into some shit. My knee, my left knees not fun, I left shoulder sucks too.
Brad:My whole left leg hurts.
Dylan:Yeah, I can feel that.
Brad:And I'm not sure if it stems from the top or the bottom. I don't know if it's radiating down or up.
Dylan:I know Because I don't think it's the whole leg, yeah, and that's where I can run and it kind of goes away after a while and I'm like I don't know if I'm doing more damage or if it's fine.
Brad:I don't.
Dylan:I don't ask those questions. It's kind of like a car.
Brad:Like if you think something's wrong, don't don't throw a bunch of tests at it, Just drive it until it breaks. Then it becomes obvious, the truth will always come out. Yes, yeah, yeah, um, I gave my, so you don't do intake forms for when you go to counseling therapy. What do you mean? Remember the intake, the form you fill out every time you go.
Dylan:Oh, I don't fill them out every time I go.
Brad:Yeah, see, you had me feeling bad about that last time we talked about this yeah. And now I feel kind of sorry for you.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Brad:Because I, every time I go, I have the the opportunity to lay some heavy shit on her, like it's always. You know, uh, how are you doing since last time? And you know, sometimes it's like improvement or spiraling.
Dylan:Oh, she's collecting data on you. That's fun, yeah.
Brad:So it is fun, it's.
Dylan:I think that's lazy because I see Tina taking notes the entire time.
Brad:No, she takes notes too, but the intake form is just like I don't know. Maybe it's like a baseline.
Dylan:Yeah, she's a baseline. Yeah, she's put a baseline for you the alcohol intake.
Brad:So it's like how many drinks have you had the last time?
Dylan:I was like I feel like any is too much. You know how this is supposed to feel like a safe space. This question right here is really putting me off, my put me off my rocker.
Brad:I don't know how much is too much.
Dylan:And then how much is and how little is a lie? Because where's the lie start? This is not a lot.
Brad:Like it's not a lot, but I feel like I still might want a fib.
Dylan:What is the definition of alcohol abuse?
Brad:It's like if I had four beers that week, I'd be like I think it was three. Is that bad? Uh, I don't know. And then I always uh, write something, hit her with a quote or something that I made up or whatever, and like what do you want to talk about today? And I'll just lay some you know lead based what do you got? I don't know what do you?
Dylan:you don't have. You see, I have a note. You have a notebook, right? Oh yeah, a lot of, but that's not what. Oh my god, you wrote a lot. What did you write?
Brad:about it's. You don't want to know?
Brad:okay, I don't want to know um you see, that little guy, don't worry about that little guy, don't worry this thing nothing, you don't want to worry about this guy, but we were talking about physical attributes of there's physical attributes of how you're feeling in a mental state depression or possibly anxiety, which you have mild cases of, apparently. I hear fucking understatement. What are you talking about everything together all the time? So this was my, like my visceral description of how you feel physically sometimes, how I do, probably. Why are?
Dylan:you writing about me. I like to project. Yeah, okay, let's go be curious how you feel physically sometimes how I do Probably.
Brad:Why are you writing about me. I like to project. Yeah, okay, let's go. Be curious, not judgmental, that's what I'm doing. Okay, my problems don't look profound on paper, and yet the feeling I have is of a heavy blanket draped over my chest, not in a comforting manner, but rather one that wishes to slowly drain your body until you no longer have the energy to draw in a breath over its constant pressure, which kind of reminds me of you upside down in a cave. We don't talk about caves.
Dylan:We don't talk about caves. I think you bought a heavy blanket.
Brad:No no.
Speaker 2:I don't like that.
Brad:I don't think I don't like that, don't like what't like that. I don't think I don't like that, don't like what the weighted blankets. I don't know if I really dig that feeling or not.
Dylan:I know what I feel like when the comforter's too thick and it's on top of my legs and I'm like I can't get out of this.
Brad:No, I don't like that at all. I had older cousins. They used to like wrap us up in blankets and just sit on us Like hey, can you breathe in there?
Speaker 2:No.
Dylan:Don't like this oh, isn't it cute, they're bonding yeah.
Brad:And then your parents come in they're like oh, look at there he's hog tied inside a blanket again. What are you fucking?
Dylan:guys doing? You guys are supposed to be parenting. Yeah, I don't see any of that going on right now.
Brad:My dad's probably like my brother used to shoot me with a real gun, yeah. So, that's it. Yeah, probably happened. My dad used to. You ever seen Payback with Mel Gibson? Yeah, just smash their toes.
Dylan:Yeah, the clippers from the town uh, ah, uh, just clip the tip off.
Brad:Uh, jesus that doesn't feel good, by the way. No, I don't like that.
Dylan:No, you know when you've never had something happen to you, but you see it done somewhere else and then you feel it and you're like well, why am I feeling this right now?
Brad:I've had my finger hit so hard that it split, and I have to imagine that getting it clipped is worse than that. So, um, yeah, or like putting it through a table saw or something similar, no, no.
Speaker 2:A lot of nerve endings there.
Brad:Uh, you never, don't? You never start with the head the Joker.
Dylan:Yeah, the victim gets all woozy. Hi, that's probably the best. I send that gift to everybody that gives Rose.
Brad:Hi, hi, oh. So yeah, yeah, that's, those are some things we talk about, but no, lately. So, uh, growth, period of growth. God, jesus phoenix wanted to come on this and I was like this, it's not gonna happen. No, like I told you, I was like why would you?
Dylan:want your kid to come. Oh we would be, you'd be, I'd be unpacking some shit from both of you right now, not only that, but like we would be in the weeds so far. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, like father, like son, it'd be hard he just goes down.
Brad:Yeah Well, you do the same shit sometimes. I mean so, but, yeah, feeling of growth. So, uh, you know, when you're working on something and you've been doing it wrong for so long and then you find out the right way to do it and it changes your life and you're happy that it changed your life, but you're also pissed that you did it wrong for so long because of just wasted time and energy. That's's where I feel like I'm at right now.
Dylan:Oh so so you're in a good place, but you're mad at your former self.
Brad:Uh, I mean, I'm not in the good place yet, but I know, I think, where that's going.
Dylan:What have you been wasting time on, Uh?
Brad:it's not even really a waste of time, it's just finding out how to cope and live better.
Dylan:I guess what are your? What are your, what are the tools right now? That?
Brad:you're using that? I'm using. Yeah, what are you how's?
Dylan:you know what's what's causing the change.
Brad:Therapy, self-reflection Mostly.
Dylan:You practicing in mindfulness, trying to be present, not live in the past or the future?
Brad:Yeah, I lay in my bed and I listen to meditation music. People walk in.
Speaker 2:I'm fucking meditating.
Brad:I like that. I was trying to be really calm about it.
Dylan:Are you using sam harris's app or no?
Brad:no, um, I don't I do. I have in the last couple weeks by myself every once in a while just like, can I just take five minutes and just fucking breathe.
Dylan:But yeah for so for count in, for count hold.
Brad:So there's a real and now it's really, it's good if you're going through, so, like you're talking about the, the um, digestive stuff, like there's a whole history of that, the mental health stuff there's a whole history of that too. And so it starts off as uh you might be going through some, some depression you know some depressive episodes. Oh, okay, well, let's talk about this. Oh, you seem to be having these often throughout multiple years. Yeah, okay, maybe this is maybe this thing.
Dylan:Oh, maybe we should try medication.
Brad:Oh, you don't like medication. Oh, maybe you go back on medication. Okay, let's do this. And then every time you do something new and you learn something else new, like it helps a little bit, and you just keep. Yeah, it's like you're taking baby steps forward, but you seem to keep hitting the same problem over and over again. And then you know, in the last two years you take the nail out of your head the ADHD stuff and and some of that and it's like okay, better, better, like big steps, steps are getting bigger and you still feel like you're running into problems. And now I feel like enough of that shit is out of the way, that the real overarching issue is is like a self-worth issue the real overarching issue is is like a self-worth issue.
Dylan:So, yeah, I think something profound that was said to me that along the same lines was um, you don't have to fix yourself. It's. It's okay to be you and want growth and to grow, but you need to stop looking at it in terms of you have to hit these things to fix you. Yeah, and it's not even and that's kind of that worth which is like I am who I am and I can always be better, but, like you, wrapping your identity around fixing or I guess, like uh, it's not necessarily about being better, it's uh, understanding it's actually valuing who I am right now, like uh, like am I previously?
Brad:I would be like, am I enough? Of this thing, or this thing or this thing.
Dylan:And there is always this the answer is no bread.
Brad:I know I know, there is always this, this underlying factor of, like, uh, potential. You know, yeah, and like, why do I like coaching so much? Cause, like, I get to bring out fucking other people's potential? You know, yeah, and in the meantime, what's happening? What's happening with me? You're getting destroyed. I mean, I could probably take my own advice. I think is what it boils down to. That'd be too easy.
Speaker 2:More or less?
Brad:be, too easy, but yeah, so there are a lot of things that we are interested in that, I think, grows us as humans be content with.
Brad:Not even be content, but like, uh, there's a sense of I was telling Shannon this the other day, cause I've I've seen it from. Obviously, adhd has a wide variance of traits, and one of the things is, uh, like I have to remind myself that I deserve things that other people think are just basic things, like I deserve clean clothes, I deserve to have a clean body, I deserve to eat good food. It's like all of these mundane everyday things that other people don't think about are things that I wouldn't say you stress about, but they get put all the way on the back of the list somehow. And so it's like, yeah, okay, well, I'll just eat this fucking shitty thing again instead of spending five minutes to prepare something that's actually good for me, because I don't want to or have the capacity to think about it or whatever the case is. And so it's that that sense of yeah, you, you deserve like to have some good shit.
Brad:Yeah that is um and not like given, like I know what you're saying not get, because that can come off as as like a self entitled. But it's like I will work really hard for things and then not get things and still have some sense of guilt about it, where it's like wait, not only should I have that, but I earned that, and then still have guilt for not having it. That doesn't make any sense.
Dylan:Yeah, I think so. That's where I'm at. You bring up an interesting point. I've thought about this and you know tell me if I'm going completely in a different direction than I should be, and it's it is different.
Dylan:But if just brought my mind back here, I think there is stuff that I spend my my resources on that seems over the top and silly to people that are close to my life. Um, you know, I have a cleaning lady come to my house and like my dad will be like well, why don't you just clean yourself? You're like because it's not that, it's not that I'm lazy, I go it. Just I would rather. You know, living with ADHD, you do fixate on things and you're like when I have to do something, that's not in my priority list it is really, really hard and then you ignore it and then it gets really bad and then you feel guilty to what you're saying.
Dylan:You're like I would rather just it's called the ADHD tax to an extent, and like I would rather just pay the tax which is making sure someone's here every other week doing the deep clean that I'm not willing to do so that I don't feel guilty about my house kind of starting to pile up and there are but there to what you're saying is like I'm willing, everyone makes their own resources and it's on you to spend it how you want to spend it in their own Like these things might seem over the top or, you know, one percenter ish if you, if you put it that way and you're like but I do it so that I can expend my resources, my personal, you know health and my personal you know, um, yeah, my, my abilities into something else that brings me more joy or brings more resources.
Dylan:You know I can. I can focus on work for another hour when I get home, because I do enjoy what I do, and so it's just. There's so many societal norms, though, that are like well, you should. You know, I spend money on Walmart plus and delivery because I don't want to go there. I like going to the grocery store more than any. I mean, I love walking up and down every aisle, but I don't have the time for it because I'm focused on so many other things. It's just like okay yeah.
Dylan:I'll just have it delivered. I don't, I don't care and I. It's just interesting how society can negatively look at things like that sometimes, even though it's bringing a better you. You know. You know it's helping you be a better person, and so it's just you know, that's not how the? Standards are, so why are you deviating? And that's, that's silly. Why wouldn't you want to? There's honor and discipline in cleaning your own house. You're like I totally get that, but I don't like it.
Brad:I don't like gardening yeah, I would love to be at some point in my life where I would enjoy gardening, but I'm not there I think maybe that falls in line a little bit with how we talk about, uh, weaponizing ideas sometimes, yeah, like there are definitely people that could absolutely fucking clean their own house because they literally aren't doing anything else. Yeah, you know, but they don't have to, so they don't.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Brad:I feel like that. And is that wrong? No, not really. But I think some of those negative views come from situations like that. You know more than anything and then that just gets lumped onto oh, you have a cleaning lady. This is blah blah blah, and then that just gets lumped onto oh, you have a cleaning lady.
Dylan:This is blah blah blah, and it comes to really. You know, I think a lot of people, what they don't do is they don't sit down and they actually quantify. Time is the most finite thing you have in this world. You know people will say it's it's not money. You can always go get more. I mean it's, it's difficult.
Dylan:Invest your time Exactly, and I value my time probably more than I mean I am. I will spend an inordinate amount of resources to get more time in my life and, um, it's because I value it, because I enjoy doing this podcasting with you, I enjoy spending it with you. Know, like you said, you you have joy from coaching the kids, and it's like I have joy working with my coworkers and people that work for me and watching them grow, and so I. Those are things I want to do, and people, though, will be like, oh, I'm saving $5 by doing this, but like, what's your opportunity cost?
Dylan:I don't think enough people really sit down and think about it. It's like, okay, cool, you meal prep for eight hours on Sunday, right, but what else could you know? You're talking about how you don't have the resources. Could you have gotten a job and done eight hours worth of work on that Sunday and offset that you know it's like. So there's all these things that people don't actually do the math on and they kind of make assumptions, and I think it's important for people to really quantify. What does their time mean to them? What? What value do they place on it? And then, cool, we're saving 25 cents. And don't get me. There's people that just they love the game of being a discount bargain shopper.
Speaker 2:And that's their, that's what they get joy out of.
Dylan:Right, there's that. But then there are people that think they're making a smarter decision by saving some money. But you're like you're you, you need, you have your resources, time. So what could you be doing with that time?
Brad:Yeah, I don't know. No, I that's kind of a, I've been thinking about that a lot a lot more. Uh, Shannon just got me a book.
Dylan:I uh, shannon, just got me a book, I think it's called deny. Your life isn't defined by what you say yes to it, it's defined by what you say no to yeah. So it's, it's a power of no, it's an. It's important draw boundaries and not feel. And the problem is is you and I and I'm sorry I'm speaking over you right now, but I think you and I fall into the trap of if we say no, we feel guilty. Oh, I mean because I'm always like I have the capacity.
Brad:I don't necessarily have the capacity.
Dylan:I have the tool set to be able to help a lot of people, and so, but capacity means, does it not stress me? Am I capable of doing it, and in a fair amount of time? Can I get back to my other responsibilities? Capable of doing it in a fair amount of time? Can I get back to my other responsibilities? You and I, you know, have these conversations offline all the time about um over committing ourselves yeah and you're like, oh shit, I over committed.
Dylan:And then, and then it's funny because we talk about how much we value our time and you're like I just committed all my time yeah, oh shit.
Dylan:and I think, though, that you and I get and I think a lot of people and um get a sense of satisfaction with service. I, you know, um, I was listening to a really interesting podcast with a neuroscientist, and he talks about how the human body is wired to be in service to others, and because, when you develop relationships deep, you do something good for someone else, you get oxytocin hits. You know your body's rewarded for doing acts of service, and it puts you in a better headspace, a better mindspace, a better you know, a better space in general, a better space in general, um, but when you start doing it at the detriment to being able to stay in that space, it becomes a problem, and so yeah it's how do you, how do you, how do you say no without feeling guilty and not needing?
Dylan:the biggest one for me is like the clarifying. I'm like I don't, why am I clarifying my no right now? I don't need, I just need to be like I'm sorry, I can't do it, no, and then'll go. And then I'll go into a half an hour explanation of everything that I have to do and you're like why am I clarifying this right now? Just like it's okay to just no.
Speaker 2:I can't.
Brad:No, I don't want to. No, I don't like you.
Dylan:That's a good clarification. I think I'll just go with that. You're not important. You're not important. Oh my God.
Brad:I think no, but I I.
Dylan:I know where it comes from, the no.
Brad:thing was one of the first kind of major topics that I had touched on and in counseling it was. You were just to the point where, like, uh, you have a 19 course meal here. Let's cut this down to like five course, right, you? We don't need this many things on your plate I thought I was an over-committer.
Dylan:And then I really started paying attention to your life and I was like oh shit, brad really just said yes to everything and it's it.
Brad:And for what you know? A lot of times it was just because there's a little bit hubris in that for you and I know too.
Dylan:Oh, it is because who else is gonna do who else is gonna do?
Speaker 2:it, or who else is gonna do it like this.
Dylan:There's a little bit of hubris there I have or nobody else is gonna do it yeah and and then okay, what if nobody else does it?
Brad:nothing? Guess what the world keeps? Turning okay, I know that thing doesn't happen.
Dylan:Yeah, there's uh andy, uh andy. Stump talks about that a lot, about the big machine and the cog, and you know his example is the seals. He goes when you get in. They make it. You know they're so effective because everyone has to be. He's like we we strive for perfection, we strive to be the best of what we do, we and he goes. When you're in it, though, you feel like if I'm not there, it's all going to fall apart. They may. You know that's part of what they do is I'm so important that I have to bring my best every day. And he goes. Everyone doing that, right. But then when you are going to go retire, everyone doing that, right. But then when you are going to go retire, all of a sudden you're like wait, the big machine keeps going and you kind of you.
Dylan:he's like. A lot of people lose themselves because that was their identity and they're like wait, that was everyone else's identity, so who?
Brad:am I actually? Yeah, but it's also the. The two is one, one is none.
Dylan:Yeah, we're better with you here, but we function without you here because and we'll bring someone up to be the two at some point because- by the definition of the job that we have to do.
Brad:It has to be that way because, guess what? The likelihood of you not being here isn't zero. So yeah, I mean it kind of makes sense. But it's good to automate yourself.
Dylan:I mean, it's good to get yourself out of the job you were playing a little taylor swift.
Brad:Who do we have that on here? Yeah?
Speaker 2:yeah oh, there you are so fucked?
Dylan:no, we're not. That's probably not enough to get. It's not enough. Can I pause here for a second? I need toms. No, my tummy hurts.
Brad:No, we're gonna end it? No, no, we're not. It's probably not enough to get. It's not enough. Can I pause you for a second? I need Tums. No, my tummy hurts. No, we're going to end it?
Dylan:No, no, no, we're not going to end it. Yeah, we are. Why Do you have to go? Yeah, oh fuck.
Brad:But I was just getting warmed up, taylor Swift.
Dylan:Oh.
Brad:I got it Like her. Air it to her Okay.
Dylan:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Come on.
Dylan:I saw it last year.
Brad:I know you did. It was awesome. We talked about it. Probably didn't probably didn't air that episode.
Dylan:I think there's a lot in the bank. I don't know.
Brad:Really, I feel like yeah, I think everything's out.
Dylan:No it's not a bunch. There's a bunch. What are you talking?
Brad:about let's put this one out and then let's backdate?
Dylan:I don't think we had that much dude.
Brad:Yeah, there's at least five.
Dylan:There's not five, yeah. There's there's not bullshit, there's four.
Brad:There's four for market is zero Walter.
Dylan:No no market a goddamn zero. There's four at least Any other ending thoughts. It wasn't as hot takey as I thought, I was really excited I can't.
Brad:I'm just starting. You're trying to be less angry.
Dylan:I'm just starting the season and I don't want to burn all the bridges right now. Oh, are you talking about sports?
Brad:Yeah, Soccer Anything.
Dylan:Yeah.
Brad:Really. But we have a. If we could go the way of English soccer and the way they run, everything, be the change From the youth. Why don't you do it? I think some people are doing it. It's a lot. What's the difference? What's the difference? What's the difference maker? People's feelings? Oh, I don't know. I don't know, but there's a. There seems to be generational jumps. So the way that, like my parents generation would talk about my generation is how I feel, like my generation is talking about people that are only seven years younger and that seems ludicrous. But there is some significant difference and there is a significant difference because of the timeframe that people grew up in. There's a massive shift in what people's experiences were from, because there's that. There's that very weird time from like 78 to 85 where you got a little bit of this, you got a little bit of that and you kind of grew up with some of the emerging stuff, versus if you were born in the 90s. That was it.
Brad:You didn't know, welcome to the 90s, so like part of our growing up was very much like growing up in, and I'm talking about like. I'm not talking about like culturally or like what was happening culturally, socially, I'm just talking about like, if I grew up in a small town in the 50s and then I grew up in it in the early 80s, they were very similar times, right? Yeah, not that the times overall in America are the same, but but your daily lifestyle.
Brad:Those specific cultures were yeah, we're similar, but then we also had this new thing, this new technology thing, where that was different. But it wasn't our entire identity yet, and in about 10 years it was, and now we have a digital passport and it's just a I should.
Dylan:we have digital credit, which is a weird thing to think about. You don't just have financial credit anymore, you have social credit.
Brad:There's a check marks and likes and there's just a strange concept towards like growth or challenges or, uh, any type of hardship for kids.
Brad:Like I, I, I can't be on this team because he doesn't know anybody on this team. For kids, I can't be on this team because he doesn't know anybody on this team. That sounds like a great opportunity to make a whole bunch of new friends. That's what it sounds like to me. Things like that where, if it's not easy or the way they want it, it's not easy, or the way they want it it's maybe, yeah, it's not the right fit Like, but this is going to lead to a lot of problems versus giving them a lot of solutions.
Brad:It's kind of like like all of our kids have gone to counseling at some point or in counseling or have you know I should send her to counseling. And there's still people that are like why they seem fine? Why would you send them to counseling?
Dylan:I don't know so they can learn to talk.
Brad:You're like right, I mean it's why.
Dylan:Why do you, why do you send your kid to go get a physical?
Brad:before they play sports. It's like these guys on these fucking carpentry groups. They're like oh, you have a $1,000 domino. Yeah, that's cool. I could do that with a chisel Cool. You obviously don't value your time. You could do it with a chisel. You obviously don't value your time. But there's also this opportunity to have a whole lot of new tools in your toolbox to manage whatever you might run into and you think the founding fathers would be like hey, we used to write bills on quill and ink.
Dylan:Well, now you've got microsoft word.
Brad:You guys are fucking pussies roganan, before he went rogue he had a joke about that, where he's talking about the founding fathers, he goes imagine if they came back, Like if they came back today, and they're like okay, yeah, we're still here, Everything's going like, hey, that constitution, what'd you guys change about it?
Brad:And they're like nothing nothing, nothing he's like you didn't fucking write anything new, we had the bill of rights, so it. It's a little bit like that. Like things change, your toolbox needs to change. Having the ability to adapt and solve problems at any stage in life I think is important. So how do you?
Dylan:so your kids are in this. You know what you're saying. Is this new era? What are?
Brad:you doing as a father to try to prepare them? Yeah, I don't like this conversation. I don't understand the question.
Dylan:Somebody say oil you cooking bitch.
Brad:I think that's part of maybe not part of it's maybe the entire reason that I like sports and coaching is because you get to introduce controlled hardships. In that sense, it's also you can introduce a sense of truth where it's Billy.
Dylan:You fucked up what. You can't ground a ball out. Third, you took your eyes off. Well, you can't ground a ball out there.
Brad:You took your eyes off and I have been told by people that I'm a good coach, whatever that means. I don't know what that means, but from the kids' perspective, I think part of why we tend to have a decent relationship is a sense of honesty where it's not everything that they do is great job. It's a sense of of realism where, like when you tell a kid, hey, you have the ability to do this because I've seen it and I know you can do it, and if you actually focus on that, you can do it a lot more or all the time and totally change the kind of player that you are having them understand and realize they have the ability to change themselves, instead of just kind of passively doing what they've always done.
Brad:It's, it's a sense of, if it's really important to you, like, put the work in and you can, you can be the change instead of I'm just here and yeah. And in that sense I think parents kind of go along with that a little bit too, which is why you have these levels of sports through all these different sports. Now, yeah, they're, they're there and uh, I mean we kind of want them to win, so like we're just going to put them in this specific category so that it's not a blowout but they win, and then you just kind of doctor these things in there.
Dylan:Yeah, and it's not, it's certainly not every team it's interesting that people think they're doing favors to their. It's not just kids, it's every walk of life. If I can control this, I'm going to control it in their favor. You can't control life, no. So how are you preparing them for any of that?
Brad:I will tell you what a very refreshing experience was recently, like last week, corbin was in their Little League tournament. Yeah, and Little League tournaments are the devil, are the devil.
Brad:And they're the buildup to the Little League World Series. The devil Are the devil and they're the build-up to the Little League World Series. So the rules are quote-unquote the rules and if you have any involvement in Little League you can have, I'm sure, an entire podcast for years about that. But essentially it's you send a team, there's no run rule, there's essentially no time limits and you play to the mercy rule, which is for the younger kids. It's 15 runs past three innings or you play six innings, whichever happens, that's it. Everything else is in play, like rules of baseball. But those are the guidelines. There's no like during the season. We play five runs an inning and then you switch. So you're not just sitting on defense for an hour and a half and they have time limits and this and this and this and people.
Brad:When it comes tournament time, because you might have six teams in that age division through the through the year and they're like, oh, we want, we want all these kids to play, and in Corbin's age group you can send multiple teams. Next year you can't, you can only send one. From there on out you send one team. So if you have six teams and you want to send a team. You, you gotta break it down into one yep and that's it. And people are very much like well, you know, everybody should have a chance to play. You're like nope, you're talking about sometimes the difference between what could be a bad high school team playing like a triple, a minors team, yeah, and so that happened in different iterations to us. We were both on the giving and receiving end this time around and we got beat it was like 27 to 0 by a mulling team and a team that we know some of the players on. And it was funny because the post-game speech was almost entirely positive and not like a fake positive.
Brad:You guys played really well. They just were better than you. You guys played, you guys did everything we could have asked you to do. I mean, at least from a defensive standpoint. They had a good pitcher, which nobody hit really. Actually, a couple kids put the bat on the ball, which was also kind of impressive, but defensively it was just like we threw strikes. We pitched well and they on the ball, which was also kind of impressive and uh, but defensively it was just like we threw strikes. We pitched well and they hit the ball a lot and they hit into space every time. Yeah, it wasn't a ton of fielding.
Brad:It wasn't, it wasn't like people not doing what they're supposed to do, and even when it was 25 to 0, those kids are out there there. Yep, I got the ball. Hit the cutoff, throw it this way. That's awesome. Still doing that kind of stuff even though they're in that position. That's really cool. It was just like that. You guys played well. This team is a lot better than you. Why are they a lot better than you? Because they do this all the time. They play together all the time. They do this somewhat year-round yeah right.
Brad:Like we've been doing this for two weeks. They've been doing it for like 40. Yeah, that makes sense and and everybody was pretty much on board with that. You know and I I don't see that as a bad lesson like, these kids put in a ton of time to do what they're doing and do it well. Do you want to do that? Maybe some of you do, maybe some of you don't. That's fine. Like, just because you play a sport doesn't mean that you have to be the top tier in that sport, because you may be doing other things, because that takes an inordinate amount of time to become that good at something. Is that all you want to do? Do you want to try to do other things? Is it even that important to you? Like? These are all questions that you can ask and there's no wrong answer to Like, if you love it, you want to spend all your time doing it, that's fine.
Speaker 2:If it's not that important to you and you just like playing the game.
Brad:That's okay too. Like kids seem to understand it more than what parents understand it, so that's that's where we're at, but it was a development point for them.
Dylan:I think there's been a flux, and this is. This goes back to my CrossFit bond days. Sorry, but coaching, and I think we've touched on this a little bit in the podcast. You know, out of all the things that I wish could have been better earlier in my childhood, you know A better snatch, yeah, no, my parents would choose the hard thing over the easy thing for them. There was plenty of times where my brother, I were out of line and the punishment that they had to administer actually made them have a worse time. You know, it was like okay, we're going home, we're leaving the party or we're, it's it cut there. It made their life harder in some sense.
Brad:Yeah, I don't like giving you third degree words on your feet again. We're not gonna carry you around, we're not gonna, we're not gonna go.
Dylan:You know, oh, we were supposed to go to this you know event tomorrow night, but you know you cheated on your test and blah, blah, blah and so now you're grounded and we can't go. So they, they were really good about living through that and seeing that there was consequences and they didn't, and it a lot of times. Was that not a benefit to themselves? I call them iPad parents now, and I hate the term and I don't know if I enjoy the term, I don't like using it in a blanket way but we'd go to the gym and they just give them an iPad. Yeah, and they're like, yeah, they'll, they'll, they'll take care of themselves. Meanwhile, while mom or dad's working out the iPad's not working, they're running around the goddamn gym with 135 pounds over some people's heads, going to fall at any point. And you're like, and they're like, totally oblivious to it. You're like, what are you doing?
Dylan:Can you please?
Brad:This isn't a free babysitter session, this is a gym, me and Shannon struggle with this, because I'll be like, hey, you want to go to lunch? Yeah, delua. Yeah, get margaritas, yeah, hey, we're going to take the kids, aren't we? She's like, yeah, why Fuck. And it's why do you have to take your kids? Why do you have to take your kids?
Brad:When we don't always my parents lift our asses everywhere, but a lot of times but a lot of times she's like, well, we're going to just do it, we're going to take them, they need to get out. It's like they need to get out. And then, uh, I I probably sent you pictures of like Corbin at restaurants.
Dylan:It's just like uh, and he's brooding. He has a good brood. He broods, he exudes, oh boy, he exudes anger. You can almost see heat. It's all he exudes anger. You can almost see heat. It's really fun actually.
Brad:When she asks him questions.
Dylan:Oh my god, I can only imagine.
Brad:He'll be in a game, right, so he's got headphones on so he can't hear. And then eventually she's like Corbett, he's like what he's like, dinner's ready. I made that thing. You like Just a second. I'm second. Like what are you doing?
Brad:I'm in a game right now what like when's the game gonna be over? And he, just he, he struggles in transition. Yeah, so he, that zero to 100 is him, it's like peak him, yeah, 100. And I I think that's a lot of kids and I think that's part of the issue with that. And it's always worse when he's in a game where it's it's like highly stressful, yeah, it's highly anxious, yeah, which is why it's fun in the moment, but why it's so terrible to transition from. Oh yeah, because you are just it's same thing Like when you're driving a car. Why do I get road rage so easily?
Brad:Because your stakes are high.
Dylan:Whether you know it or not, your body knows the stakes are high.
Brad:You're doing an unnatural thing. You're driving a loaded gun, yeah.
Dylan:Like people, don't like.
Brad:You can kill someone at any moment you, I, I am driving a 6 000 pound missile at 70 miles an hour. Yeah, that I performed maintenance on myself and it's funny to your point like it is. It is amazing how the body innately understands stress when you, when you're the reasoning even says this isn't it, I'm fine your brain is like fine, but your, your body, your body's like no.
Dylan:If this suddenly stops, yeah, we're fucked and that's why, like everyone's like, I don't understand why I get so tired after a road trip. I sat the whole time. You're like your body was under stress for four to eight. However many hours you drove, it's exhausted I could never understand your body's taking everything in uh people that ride motorcycles everywhere.
Brad:Oh no, shannon knew a guy that she went to grad school with. They did night classes in Moline and he was from Macomb. So that's like an hour and a half drive Hard pass. He's driving home at 10 o'clock at night on a motorcycle Hard pass.
Dylan:I mean I'm sure it's cool but stressful as shit.
Brad:Yeah, I'm just like you it's cool but stressful shit. Yeah, I'm just like you. Guys are a different breed.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Brad:I just couldn't.
Dylan:I don't think I could manage that.
Brad:The argument could be that it takes you back to the moment. No, you're definitely in the moment, but also that's exhausting. Yeah, that's true, I mean it's like driving the GTX. It's, you're in the moment, but fuck, if I got to drive that around every single day. Maybe that's what I mean. There's a strong case to go back to that.
Brad:You might be onto something like how, how good are you going to sleep tonight? I'm going to sleep like a fucking baby, like because I had to do this work and pay attention to this thing and nothing else. And I even now to say that it's less safe. I was like well it doesn't have any safety features, but it does make you pay attention all the time.
Dylan:So it's funny what you're saying, because the Thunderbirds documentary on Netflix. I don't know if you watched it, but the Air Force Thunderbirds.
Brad:Oh, I thought it was Blue Angels Blue.
Speaker 2:Angels is on Amazon.
Dylan:Netflix did the Thunderbirds, but the Thunderbirds went through a period of significant crashes and, instead of identifying what happened, yeah Taking all the cocaine away I think that's an important one.
Dylan:They, they started distance distancing the airplanes so they, basically, instead of staying tight, and they were like, oh well, we can give ourselves another six feet, and then, from the sky to the ground, it still looks like we're really tight, we're giving each other space so things can happen.
Dylan:Well, a commanding officer came in six or eight years ago and they talk about this and he's like I'm reading the data and it's like no, all we've done is we've given an incentive to become sloppier. I've got room to breathe, so I don't need to be locked in right. And so he started reintroducing tighter minimums and he's like, not that, they, they increased training, they increased, you know the, the, the filming, all the different ways they're identifying where everyone's at, positionally and you know. And then what the protocols were and their safety ratings gone up from accident, like because they, they take into account, like almost misses as well, of like, oh, that could have been really bad. So they talk about how the infractions have gone down, because the pilot, by bringing the minimums in, has to stay more locked in, because they don't, they don't rule, they don't rely on. Oh, I've got space, I don't have to bring my best game every day.
Dylan:They know I need to bring my best flight because this is dangerous. And so you're completely locked in and I think we maybe there's some something to be said about that in life as well. I've got, I've got got some, I've got some room to breathe and you just kind of oh yeah, take your eye off the ball, uh a lot.
Brad:It's wow, what was that? Was that billy bob thornton movie from a long time ago? It was about, uh, bandits. No, fucking god, that's a. That's off the wall, yeah I like that movie it was about air traffic controllers. Uh, friday night lights no god, pushing. I think it was called pushing tin. I don't know, I've never seen it something like that. Okay, and it was just how entirely stressful that is, oh yeah, and also how crazy it is that we don't have more crashes.
Dylan:I don't know if you know this, but our current air traffic safety system is running on Windows 95 and floppy disks.
Brad:I mean, I never had a problem with that. I mean just saying you know, it got me some pictures of Carmen Electra back in the day. Ooh, floppy disks. I mean it became hard disk, but yeah cd-rom no, that was a fucking, that was a joke jump drive, uh-oh but uh, no, that's my train of thought. Carm, electro jump drives and hard disks, oh that, but the the crashes and in the air I I kind of shocked there's not more crashes in cars. Yeah, then there is. Let's look up the data for that next time.
Dylan:I have a good one that I'll show you. We can talk about it. That'd be interesting, all right, well, we went another 20 minutes after we said we were going to close it out.
Brad:And now you're dying.
Dylan:I have to piss now, but did you die? But did you die? Where is it at?
Brad:Do it, it's on the first one, but did you die oh?
Dylan:wow, good job, got it All right. All right, we'll see you guys next time. Hang tight, aaron, loose Cool.
Brad:Put this one out. Okay, I'm going to go post it right now.
Dylan:Okay, all right, bye, bye.
Speaker 2:You're still here. It's over. Go home, go.
