Egg Gravy, Lingerie, And A Tree That Hangs From The Ceiling

If social pressure had a season, it would be December. We jump straight into the mess of timelines, labels, and expectations: how long should you wait to commit, and who gets to decide what “dating” even means? The joke about seven dates not being “dating” turns into a smarter question—are we aligned on language and outcomes, or hiding behind ambiguity to dodge responsibility?

From there, we wade into the deep end of holiday logistics: merging family traditions without smothering the magic. Wrapped vs unwrapped gifts, Christmas Eve vs Christmas morning, and the thorny question of holiday travel when kids want to stay home with new toys. We land on a practical principle—keep the feeling, not the script. Nostalgia is about atmosphere, rhythm, and meaning, not perfect replication.

Food rituals add heart and heat: a humble “egg gravy” over buttered toast and a wildly indulgent donut-or-cinnamon-roll custard bake become the soundtrack to a morning that feels like home. We talk about how small, repeatable choices—music in the dark, warm lights in January, easy playlists and cozy textures—can carry winter beyond the tree. Think hygge without the hashtags: keep the white lights, pour something warm, invite friends over for nothing special, and let the season soften.

Along the way, there are dogs tearing stockings, shelter shout-outs with a smart way to sponsor adoptions, tech mishaps with voice assistants and deliveries, and the lightly unhinged humor that keeps families stitched together. The throughline is simple and human: alignment over timelines, boundaries over guilt, traditions over performance. Make the rituals you’ll want to repeat and give them room to evolve.

If this resonates, hit play, share with a friend who’s renegotiating holiday rules, and leave a review with your non-negotiable tradition. Subscribe for more candid, funny, and unexpectedly tender conversations that make winter—and love—a little warmer.

Transcript

Pressure To Commit And Defining “Dating”

Dylan 0:00

This is the Terribly Unoblivious Podcast.

Ferris 0:03

Yep. I said it before, and I'll say it again. Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it.

Dylan 0:20

Pretty peace.

Shannon 0:21

Or 300. I'm sorry, 300.

Dylan 0:23

Can we just talk about the bullshit of I'm talking about finding myself and I have at least five years to figure myself out and then I'm getting hit with you need to be married in the next year by you two.

Shannon 0:36

No, I didn't say a year. I said you don't have to say five years. Oh, that's a lot of pressure. Brad said that.

Dylan 0:42

That's a lot of fucking pressure.

Shannon 0:43

Well, no, I'm just saying, like, if let's say like in a year, you're like, man, I'm with somebody. This is the one. I don't think you need to wait five years to be like, okay, yep, you passed the test. We made it five years.

Dylan 0:57

That's what I did wrong the last time. Okay, I get it now. I fucked up.

Brad 1:01

Okay.

Shannon 1:02

Are we recording? Because this is some good stuff. Yeah, do you know?

Brad 1:05

Do you know how you get married in one year? Uh grinder. No. No.

Shannon 1:09

I've known people that have gotten married within the first like few months of and they're still together. No. Oh. Just of meeting each other, being together, that sort of thing.

Brad 1:18

A farmer's wife?

Shannon 1:19

No, Brad. No.

Brad 1:21

What's that called?

Shannon 1:22

Anyways, I feel like people get really hung up on like dates and significance of how long you've been together. And then, you know, if you wait long enough, that'll be a problem.

Dylan 1:34

Cousin lives in LA. Actually, both a couple cousins live in LA. I went and visited him. He's like, Oh, I'm gonna bring this girl around. We've been on seven dates. And I'm like, Oh, you're dating her. And he's like, No, no, no, we're not dating. This is the one. I'm like, seven, seven dates. Like the act of dating, like whether you call her your girlfriend or not, I don't care. But like, don't say you're not dating. That's just a like they're doing a suffering club or what? They label everything. And it's just like, no, we oh, that's labeling. We can't do that. I'm like, you guys are fucking weird. Like, yeah, I'm I'm dating this person. We're not we haven't had serious conversations about what we are or where we're going, but we're going on dates, the act of dating.

Shannon 2:14

It's not important that I just don't think I ever made it to that where I was dating multiple people.

Brad 2:19

Well, it's not it's not important that I couldn't handle it. That sounds exhausting. It is your definition and his definition are different. It's important that his definition and the person that he's going to dinners with are the same.

Shannon 2:30

They're on the same path.

Brad 2:31

Makes sense? No. Okay, so how you get married in a year is you how do you, Brad? You tell that person that there are no points for second place. That's a good start. Yeah. And also they get to be on this podcast.

Shannon 2:47

Uh if I No, wait, let's say they don't have to be on it, but let's this will be the telling point for you. You'd be comfortable having them on the podcast. It doesn't mean you have to pull the trigger and put them on here, but that should be the dividing factor for you. Would I let her come on the podcast with Brad and a copy of her now?

SPEAKER_03 3:08

Wow. Wow.

Shannon 3:09

Well, I mean, I've only known you to date females. So small of you small so I mean, do you want me to start lining up men for you? I can do that too.

Brad 3:16

I'm a pass on the sex this time. Also, when we're not opposed to that.

Shannon 3:21

Let's just go ahead and clear that up. We're open to all things. I've just only known Dylan to date women.

Brad 3:26

The day you get married, you have to be honest with yourself and say, is this gonna end in divorce? Because that's gonna be the first first subject in our research. And just so you know that we talked about last year.

Shannon 3:37

50% of marriages end in divorce. So you got a 50-50 chance.

Dylan 3:41

This is the funny part is like, I absolutely know that Brad, they'll be like, I do sign the contract, and then Brad's gonna wheel out the podcast table and be like, okay, we're doing this, right? Do you really do we're doing like we're doing it? Do you? It it you can't. If we're consummating with a podcast.

Shannon 3:56

This is Brad and Shannon live from Dylan's wedding.

Dylan 3:59

My future.

Brad 4:00

You may stick the mic in the bird's me.

Shannon 4:02

Although I feel like no, because if she would murder you, then that's not the right one. So you'll inevitably end in divorce. So if you're if you're getting you're engaged and you're like, oh my god, she is gonna find this hysterical. She's a riot, she's gonna love it, then that's the right one. And I saw you hit that mic.

SPEAKER_03 4:19

But did you die? But did you die? But where is it? I don't know. Oh God. How do you know?

Shannon 4:28

There's a lot of it looks like uh, what's that? Simon says. It looks like a Simon says game over there. Wow.

Dylan 4:34

Sorry. I'm that's I can't see it from here. I'm normally closer to the this is such a cozy, I gotta like, I need to get a stand so it's like right here and I can do things. You need to get that Elon Musk chip in your head. That'd be sick. No, it wouldn't.

Brad 4:49

Okay, never mind.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

I'm getting really excited about this possibility of another female on the podcast that is gonna be your future wife or your wife.

Brad 4:57

Don't get too excited about it because it's probably not gonna happen. No, he's years down the road.

Shannon 5:03

It's gonna happen. He's absolutely I feel very confident in this. I think I think it's gonna happen.

Dylan 5:10

Is it hot in here? If it doesn't happen in the next year, I've I mean I'm warm, but I drank some wine and I think. I'm gonna quit. Uh you should quit. Maybe more room for me.

SPEAKER_03 5:20

Quit.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Really, Rad.

Dylan 5:22

All right. What are we?

SPEAKER_03 5:24

I can't quit you.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

I like this. Let's go down this path some more, Dylan.

Labels, Seven Dates, And Expectations

Brad 5:28

Let's talk about no, you're going real off the Christmas theme here.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

I don't care. You guys have done it to me twice already.

Dylan 5:34

She's she's one of us. She gets it. She's like, no, side roads are way more. Side quests are way more fun.

Shannon 5:39

Let's get into this.

Dylan 5:40

Should we start a new series called SideQuest? Oh, you want to talk about this? No.

Shannon 5:43

That would also be a really good t-shirt. So side quests.

Dylan 5:47

So we've got Brad's, we've got Brad's hot takes. Do I have to do the side quest one? Can I do like a jingle, like uh like a save big money at Minards style side quest? Ooh, they got sued. Save big money at Minards?

Shannon 5:58

Why?

Brad 5:59

Uh, because they said everything's 11% off, and that's not factual. It's a rebate.

Shannon 6:06

What mathematician called that one out?

Dylan 6:09

Well, I mean I'm trying to think in my head how that would go. What you want to talk about this? Well, we're gonna side quest. I don't I don't know. Are you gonna make a jingle? Let's talk about side quests. Oh no, no, no. Let's talk about me and you. Let's talk about side quests. That's our let's not talk about you. Let's talk about me and side quest. I don't know how we're okay. I like where we're going with this.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

Gosh, you're gonna have to get another mic. I have another mic. Oh, what about a headset?

Dylan 6:40

I have another headset, but it's not it's not for it's not for anyone. Blue ice double espresso. What is that? Have you ever seen that? Mm-mm. Okay. What is it just coffee liqueur?

Brad 6:49

Uh it's espresso flavored vodka.

Shannon 6:51

Is that for like martinis?

Brad 6:53

I don't know. Somebody sent it to me. I thought if anybody'd know, you'd know. Okay.

Dylan 6:57

Where are we going with this one? I don't know. Christmas. Christ. Shannon wants to talk about Christmas. Okay.

Shannon 7:01

Well, I actually kind of liked this other topic we were getting.

Dylan 7:03

Well, you gotta insert yourself. That's how this works. You have to just take over. Let's Okay.

Brad 7:11

Be curious, not judgmental. I'm gonna be judgmental right now. What is your favorite Christmas tradition with your new wife?

Shannon 7:18

What do you want? What do you want it to be? What do you want it to be? Because you gotta say it out loud and then it'll like what you think about, you bring about. What do you want it to be?

Brad 7:29

Materialize it.

SPEAKER_06 7:30

That's that's that's wait. That's between me and the universe.

Shannon 7:33

Maybe it's a feeling.

Brad 7:35

Um are you a are you a Christmas morning or a Christmas night? Christmas morning. Christmas morning. Oh wait, what do you mean? Finish the question.

Dylan 7:43

Yeah, yeah, what is that? I answered prematurely.

Brad 7:45

I mean, it's your tradition. I what do you want it to be like?

Dylan 7:47

You got you guys There are phases of Christmas Day for me. So I like them all, but they all have their own nostalgic feeling. I like the buildup.

Brad 7:56

But I'm asking, like, what kind of tradition would you create?

Shannon 7:59

Yeah, this is your future self, Dylan. This is the like you guys Christmas.

Brad 8:04

You guys like wake up early. Jesus. You put the coffee on, you guys turn on die cards. I love how he says and you guys are gonna slap this shit on me.

Shannon 8:12

Yes.

Dylan 8:13

Oh, fuck. Yeah, you wanted this.

Shannon 8:15

Let's just start with something similar.

Dylan 8:17

I just want more content.

Shannon 8:18

You wake up on Christmas morning. What's the first thing that tells you it's gonna be an amazing Christmas morning with your new wife?

Dylan 8:26

I don't know.

Brad 8:27

Put the baby oil away. Put the baby oil away.

Shannon 8:30

Stop.

Brad 8:31

You said wake up in the morning. It's hard not to. Wake up in the morning, feeling like beating. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dylan 8:35

Um I don't I don't know. I don't I don't do kids, no kids? Like, how are we doing this?

Shannon 8:42

Uh well, I mean Do you want to do your first let's say your first Christmas together as husband and wife? What one little thing that would make it just slightly magical.

Brad 8:52

And you guys got married on Christmas Eve.

Shannon 8:54

No, no, no, we're not doing that.

Dylan 8:55

That'd be terrible. Oh.

Shannon 8:57

Yeah.

Dylan 8:58

Really? I don't like when people get married on holidays. That's a hot take.

Shannon 9:02

Hot take. Where's I can't read hot takes.

Dylan 9:04

Yeah, guess what another hot take is? Stop interrupting. Every day is a holiday.

Shannon 9:08

What? Let's say you got married at an ideal time and the first Christmas is rolled around.

Dylan 9:14

I don't want to play this game right now.

Shannon 9:16

Are you gonna have coffee? Are you gonna make breakfast?

Dylan 9:18

I don't like plans.

Shannon 9:19

What would you eat for breakfast on Christmas?

Dylan 9:21

Spontaneity of egg. Jesus, alright? What would you do? You guys buy each other presents? Yeah, yes.

Shannon 9:27

So we'll go back to tradition. So, like, we've traditionally had we make egg gravy on Christmas morning. So, like Shannon makes egg gravy. I made egg gravy, but that was something that was.

Dylan 9:41

Not what New Windsor were they from? Where was New Windsor?

Shannon 9:44

Alpha.

Dylan 9:45

I don't know. New Orleans. I don't remember. New Guinea. Which is a Beastwick. It's in the Monmouth area, but they made egg gravy all the time. You know them.

Shannon 9:53

Alito, oh I know them.

Dylan 9:54

I'm not gonna tell them.

Shannon 9:55

Oh, I'm not gonna say them out loud. Okay. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well.

Dylan 9:59

Yeah, they're big egg gravy people. Way. Nope. Completely different family. Never mind. I'm getting confused.

Shannon 10:05

Anyways. Well, I think it is. I mean, I've known a few people out there that have made it. So yeah.

Brad 10:11

My mom asked what I'm saying. Can you explain what egg gravy is?

Shannon 10:14

Okay, so egg gravy is essentially like a scramble, like you're making scrambled eggs, but basically you add more milk than eggs, so it's more milk heavy. And then like some people like to make a thickener and then add it. I just like a roux?

SPEAKER_04 10:29

Yeah. You use it like a roux?

Shannon 10:31

Yeah, I don't do a roux. Okay. But most I think my mom did do a roux, but I'm just like, screw it. I toss the flour.

Dylan 10:37

Fat to flour people.

Shannon 10:39

I just toss in the flour. King Arthur's flour, and I just toss it in there. Does it get lumpy? Oh, and butter. So then you butter some toast, you toast some toast, put some butter on it. Salt and pepper is a must. And then you just pour the egg gravy on top. It's good.

Dylan 10:55

Sounds awesome.

Shannon 10:56

Next time you podcast here, I'll make egg gravy for you.

Dylan 10:59

She's fattening me up. Why you fatten me up? At night?

Shannon 11:02

This feels like a Because your future wife won't care if you're fattened up or not.

Dylan 11:07

This is gonna be that episode, isn't it? I love it. So that's egg grave.

Shannon 11:11

So like that's our tradition. What food would you want to eat on Christmas morning? Brad? Grapefruit. Don't enter. Oh yeah, Brad's would be grapefruit. So I'm getting that for him next year.

Dylan 11:20

That's that's a solid choice. But that's a tradition. What?

Brad 11:24

With a marchino cherry in the middle. I know.

Dylan 11:27

Are we doing a tiki theme? Are we doing a tiki theme? We should do a tiki.

Brad 11:30

I'm just saying that's the tradition.

Dylan 11:32

Oh, good thing nobody heard that. Yeah, uh only on the feedback on your guys' microphones. Close those noise gates, guys. I don't know what that means. So this is awkward now.

Shannon 11:43

Great, but okay, so Brad said grapefruit. And I just all I'm asking for is food, Dylan. This is a soft launch.

Brad 11:50

Soft launch. No food. I go, I like to make it.

Shannon 11:53

Would you stop interrupting him? I want to hear what his food is.

Brad 11:55

Lingerie and eggnog. That's a good that's a good one.

Shannon 11:59

No, now see you just interrupted his thought, and now I'm not gonna hear about it.

Marriage Odds, Humor, And Podcast Bits

Dylan 12:02

No, I I like to uh I make a there's two variations of it. Um I make a glazed donut or a mini cinnamon roll um like bread pudding almost. So you make a custard and then you dry, like you turn your oven on, and you cut the mini cinnamon rolls into like quarters, or like the glazed donuts into quarters, and then you dry them out a little bit. You want them a little bit crustier, a little bit dry because it absorbs better. Throw it in a cast iron pot, cover it with the custard, and then throw it in the oven, and that is just diabetes in a cast iron pan. That's super, super tasty in the morning.

Shannon 12:38

But it's Christmas, so it's not like you make it every morning.

Dylan 12:40

Yeah, I mean, diabetes is a Christmas story. I think once was a complete accident. We didn't know.

Shannon 12:45

Well, your future wife is listening to this and she's looking forward to the custard and cinnamon rolls.

Dylan 12:50

That's fun. That was actually one of my favorite Christmas memories, actually.

Shannon 12:52

Yeah. See?

Dylan 12:53

Diabetes? Yeah, the diabetes. I didn't have anything to do in the morning. And so I was a quick start. I'm like, what can I make? And I was like, Oh, I got glazed donuts, and I can make a custard, and I was like, Oh, I could do this.

Shannon 13:04

What's in a custard?

Dylan 13:05

Last dance. It is egg and milk and egg milk sugar. Ice cream. It's ba yeah, it's basically an egg to milk and sugar. Is there any there's no butter in there's no fat I so the fat is a lie.

Shannon 13:20

Oh, it's sugar. Never mind.

Dylan 13:21

It was sugar that you I think that's it. I don't think I'm missing it.

Shannon 13:26

You did it, Dylan. You answered a question about this one little thing.

Dylan 13:29

I don't know if that's gonna be my new tradition.

Shannon 13:30

I don't know, it doesn't have to be your new tradition. It's gonna be someday's tradition.

Brad 13:34

Christmas trees, right side up or upside down?

Dylan 13:37

Matt, my buddy Matt used to have his tree hanging from his ceiling upside down. Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah. Kept it up all year round. Oh, really? He's a wacky dude. Yeah. Yeah.

Shannon 13:45

I mean does he decorate it in different holidays? Or just uh probably probably hard to think maybe.

Brad 13:54

I'm cool with it.

Shannon 13:55

I got a new Christmas sweater yesterday and no one even noticed me wearing it. So maybe they won't notice the trees either. I don't know.

Brad 14:01

People aren't allowed in the house on July 4th, anyways. Oh.

Shannon 14:04

Yeah, they are shut up. I mean I'm not sure. People come in the house all the time. I mean, they're allowed in, nobody comes.

Dylan 14:09

I mean, they go in to use a bathroom and do you think there's a video of guys just getting out of control over in London, like that are from the US, like just purposely went over to celebrate Fourth of July over in London? Well, now that you say that, yes. I I feel like we should go to London to celebrate the Fourth of July.

Brad 14:24

I don't. I don't.

Dylan 14:26

Why?

Brad 14:26

Uh I feel like we should go to over there and protest the Fourth of July. Like to Christmas today, I was in Vit. Like an ex-boyfriend that wants them back so bad.

Dylan 14:38

I was in Vietnam for their US independence day when we were the occupation ended. Um, I'm not gonna lie, I felt a little unsafe. That was the only time I felt unsafe. And it's not because anyone was mean or out of control, but it was a crazy mob, and it was a peaceful mob, but they were getting absolutely wrecked alcohol-wise, and there's just a ton of people, and I was like, maybe we go to like the less congested areas of town. Yeah, you guys got any like, I don't know, foxholes around here?

Brad 15:08

Yes, that's exactly what I was gonna ask for. You guys got like tunnel systems around here.

Shannon 15:14

So, what other traditions, Brad?

Brad 15:16

Ooh, well, uh, when you get married, you are No, it doesn't have to be let's let's derail this.

Shannon 15:22

No, nobody will fucking hit that record button so fast. This is a dead horse, right?

Brad 15:27

Listen, it's getting Linda Linda Linda, Linda, Linda. Listen, when you get married, you merge traditions. And most of them you will hate.

Shannon 15:38

That's that's a lie, Brad. Shut up.

Brad 15:42

Pretty pretty pretty true. I mean, some of them can be uh seemingly mundane things that have real consequences on your psyche. Like, are the presents wrapped or unwrapped?

Dylan 15:55

I don't like opening presents before Christmas.

Shannon 15:58

Like, whoa!

Dylan 15:59

Christmas Eve people freak me out.

Shannon 16:01

You would be big mad at me and Brad that in our early years.

Dylan 16:05

We did really good this year.

Shannon 16:06

This year we did good, but in future years we were opening like within the first week or two of December. Oh no, it was like whenever I bought it. We were terrible.

Brad 16:15

I was like, you know, I know what I got to do. And she's like, yeah. And I was like, here you go.

Shannon 16:18

One year we both bought ourselves, oh not ourselves, we bought each other boxing gloves. And I don't think we planned on it.

Brad 16:24

No, we didn't, but she got a concussion.

Shannon 16:26

That's not true. That's one of my favorite crazy.

SPEAKER_04 16:29

Was it like the the bob?

Shannon 16:31

What was it the no, they're real boxing gloves.

SPEAKER_04 16:33

Why did you guys buy each other real boxing gloves?

Shannon 16:35

I think I was going to kickboxing or something at the time.

SPEAKER_04 16:38

They came with headgear.

Shannon 16:39

No, they didn't.

SPEAKER_04 16:41

Yeah, they did.

Shannon 16:41

We still have them downstairs. We got pink and blue.

Dylan 16:43

This was a little bit of a little bit of a little headgear later. Once this goes up, it can be used in a court of law. I'm just letting you both know.

Shannon 16:49

I'm just saying.

Dylan 16:50

There's no video, only pictures.

Shannon 16:51

We did we did um then entertain ourselves because this was back in the day before like phones could take. I think we used cameras, maybe I don't remember.

Brad 16:59

Yeah, that's what takes pictures.

Shannon 17:00

Uh um, I'm just amazed that we set it up the way we did because we took like action shots and like pretended like we were like punching each other and all that, and like just very it was very cinemat symptom sentimental. Symptomatic that that one of our cinemantic.

Brad 17:18

Yeah, keep going.

Shannon 17:19

That's something like that. I don't even like you. We need us. I don't even like Brad. So, anyways, you don't you're not gonna give gifts early. Are you gonna even give it a gift? Give a gift?

Brad 17:32

I don't know. I've decided but but when you opened presents on like Christmas morning as a kid, did you open presents? Or or did you walk out to like just Did Santa bring us gifts wrapped or unwrapped?

Dylan 17:41

Wrapped. There might have been like a like I can like what were the wooden, like uh where are the wooden horses? So yeah, um the ones that like snap together.

Shannon 17:50

Thomas the Trink?

Dylan 17:51

Yeah, kind of like yeah, yeah. So like stuff like Oh no, no, I know what you're talking about. Like some of the some of the stuff that was like pre that needed to be pre-built, my dad oh shit, sorry, Santa would pre-build and it would be out, but for the most part, everything was wrapped. But if there was like a big gift that they wanted to present, they'd have it just chilling out. Or they'd have it like under a blanket and big reveal.

Shannon 18:12

Big reveal.

Dylan 18:13

Yeah. My parents were good though. They would bring us down and then we would have breakfast. Like it was shut the doors to the room with the tree, and they'd be like, We're gonna we're gonna sit down and have a family meal.

Shannon 18:25

Yeah, we'd sit down and before you went to that.

SideQuests, Jingles, And Banter

Dylan 18:27

Before we went to the tree. Yeah. Talk to the trauma about that. Oh, that's no, I tricky. I I enjoy it, and to this day, we still like to have something before we before you do that.

Shannon 18:37

Yeah.

Dylan 18:37

We do that a little bit.

Shannon 18:38

I did I do like the idea of we have a curtain.

Brad 18:41

Yeah, there's leftover. It's like the what would you call that? Tinsel.

Shannon 18:45

The Christmas curtain. Um, it's like a a hooker sheet? No, it's like uh kind of.

Brad 18:49

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Kind of, yeah.

Shannon 18:51

It's like a tinsel.

Brad 18:52

It's not solid, it's stringy. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, you can't. Everybody's gotta be up, everybody's gotta have their coffee.

Shannon 19:00

We're like, at least let us get the coffee, you know. Put the the fire on the Netflix uh TV. Yeah.

Dylan 19:07

Put the fire on. It was uh, yeah, do breakfast and then like get our hot chocolate and then take our hot chocolate into the room.

Shannon 19:15

Syracuse don't eat breakfast, so yeah.

Dylan 19:17

I'm yeah, I don't know.

Shannon 19:19

But we do get coffee, so we did do that.

SPEAKER_06 19:21

Yeah, I find it interesting.

Dylan 19:22

This one's got the vodka, honey.

SPEAKER_06 19:24

No, no, no? No vodka in your coffee.

Shannon 19:26

Yeah, I think Phoenix ate the eggnog that Dylan made.

SPEAKER_06 19:28

Oh.

Shannon 19:29

Just kidding. No, he didn't. No, it didn't. Okay. I almost made the joke of Corbin, but that would not be a funny change. That would be doubly bad.

Dylan 19:36

That'd be doubly.

Shannon 19:36

That would be terrible.

Dylan 19:38

Eggnog's good.

Shannon 19:39

It is Brad's been thoroughly enjoying your eggnog.

Brad 19:42

Yeah, I got it. I I wasn't fully expecting that. It honestly gets better with age.

Shannon 19:47

It gets better the more you I don't know how much that'll age because Brad seems to be going down.

Brad 19:52

That's why I told you.

Dylan 19:52

How much you got left? How much did I give you?

Brad 19:54

And how much you got left? You had three bottles, and I'm I I'm through almost two. I got a little bit left of one. Think. Oh fuck. I should have poured a little bit. I would have drank that for this.

Shannon 20:03

There's a little there's an open bottle.

Brad 20:04

No, I can't leave.

Shannon 20:05

No, no. No, we're not gonna do it. We're locked in. I'm locked in until Wednesday.

Brad 20:10

So but I find it funny because as we've gotten older and we have kids, and your parents become grandparents and you become parents, and blue is old. Old people die. That's what they do. And every everybody's ideas of the their Christmas traditions kind of change.

SPEAKER_06 20:31

Yeah.

Brad 20:31

So as we're planning for like my mom's Christmas, I have in mind what you did what what we did as a family when I was a kid.

Shannon 20:41

At your house.

Brad 20:42

At my house. And I think sometimes the parents have in mind more like what everybody did at the grandparents' house, because that's kind of how like our situation happened because everybody's reasonably close. And it's almost like trying to replicate that instead of just you know sticking with what worked well in as I was growing up.

Shannon 21:05

The messaging, it's somebody is calling Corbin on his messenger. Yeah.

Brad 21:09

Thanks a lot.

Shannon 21:10

Kids, they do that.

Brad 21:11

They're the worst.

Shannon 21:12

And I think that's hard for you because your guys is, you know, sometimes a grandma hosted, or then it went to a different house to host, whereas mine was always hosted by the same person for a certain time.

Brad 21:23

And well, it's hard because you go through generational change. This person hosts, and everybody shows up, and then everybody's families grow and things change.

Dylan 21:33

It's things change, Mox. What you're saying is like the integration of families and the expectations and letting go of some of your old traditions because you have to integrate new traditions. And um, so I remember growing up, Christmas Eve was always my mom's grand my my mom's parents and the her family. She's one of seven, ton of cousins, and that would just be absolutely cram full of people. And it was awesome. Yeah, I grew up I had my I'm extremely close to my cousins on that side, and we all I mean, I've got cousins that are younger than me, and I've got cousins all the way up to their sixties, maybe now. My mom's the second youngest out of seven, so she has a lot of older sisters and brothers, or one older brother, older sisters. Um, but that was always like a crazy wild fun night, and then come home, do Christmas in the morning, and then my dad's parents lived in Dubuque, and then we would drive to Dubuque, and then we'd come back at some point, yeah. Which I absolutely hated.

Shannon 22:30

Yeah.

Dylan 22:30

Not a reflection of my grandparents or my family in Dubuque. But you want to be home with all your new presents. You want to be home with your presents, and so that's something that I have said is that my home will be open to my family. Yeah, but I'm not going to uproot my kids on Christmas if I have kids. I just I'm like, It's hard. You guys are more than welcome to come, but the kids are gonna be able to do that.

Brad 22:50

Some people have problems with that.

Dylan 22:52

I understand that. And I understand.

Shannon 22:54

We've done it once or twice.

Pivot To Christmas Traditions

Dylan 22:55

But I just but it is it's one of those where you I felt like I had some of the magic of Christmas ripped away at some of those points. And I get it. You want to see your family, it's holidays. My parents want to see their parents. Like, I can't imagine not seeing my parents around Christmas time. Um, but that's hard. The other integration story I have is my cousin is dating a girl, and I just heard this from my mom the other day. I was laughing, and she's like, Yeah, so there's one family Christmas for Grant because he's got, you know, his parents are my mom's my mom's brother and her his wife are still together, and you know, they've got the single family Christmas. The girl he's dating, like divorced parents, divorced grandparents, but she's got like seven or eight family Christmases. And one of her family Christmases, and it wasn't even like it wasn't like one of the main family Christmases, happened to fall on my cousin's family, but the one family Christmas. And she was mad that she wasn't gonna be able to get to go to her family Christmas. He's like, You have like seven I'm sorry, but you have like seven or eight. I have one.

Shannon 23:54

I'm glad you went with seven or eight instead of six.

Dylan 23:56

Oh no, no, no, no, no.

Shannon 23:58

And I was just laughing, and I was like, Yeah, there's uh at least five or six I mean five, six quet like Christmases within like sometimes two days. But that was way back. Well, that was when there was some different things going on. So it was like one, two, three, four, five. I think we did five. Because like sometimes when there's bigger things going on, then you're like, well, we're just gonna do it with the immediate family. So then it's like you go to your big one on Christmas Eve, but then you still gotta do something with just like your parents or your parents.

Brad 24:32

I like Christmases where shit goes sideways, you know, like somebody's pregnant that's not supposed to be pregnant.

Dylan 24:36

Does that happen that happen often?

Brad 24:38

Not often.

Dylan 24:39

No. No. Like when what's the most off-the-rails Christmas that you've had?

Brad 24:43

Oh, I mean, I mean, it probably didn't involve me personally.

Shannon 24:47

I mean, I can't think of off the wall Christmas.

Dylan 24:50

They got pregnant or Christmas when they weren't. Who's the Virgin Mary?

Brad 24:52

No, no, no, no, no, no, Immaculate Conception. There might have been a story.

Shannon 24:58

Brad proposed to me before Christmas, so that was an exciting Christmas.

Brad 25:02

Yeah, because I was not gonna do that shit on Christmas.

Dylan 25:04

Dude, it did the fucking social pressure that you get from people, especially when you start, you know, you've been with someone for a period of time, or as you're getting older, it's just like it's not a Christmas present.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

We knew Brad couldn't make it to Christmas because we gave our Christmas presents.

Brad 25:21

I mean, if you're getting anything for Christmas, it's a dick hello.

Shannon 25:24

That's not true.

Brad 25:24

It wasn't out yet.

Dylan 25:25

Oh. Mm-mm. You were early on that one. Was I? Oh, yeah. But I also know someone else that just got engaged and that was very exciting.

Shannon 25:31

December 12th.

Dylan 25:34

It's like it's not too close to Christmas.

Brad 25:37

Close enough.

Shannon 25:38

Oh shit, maybe you're no.

Brad 25:39

Yeah, it was. We got married in 06. Right?

Shannon 25:42

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was no.

Brad 25:44

No.

Shannon 25:45

That can't be right. It was the year.

Brad 25:46

Yeah, that's right. It was the year of the turtle.

Dylan 25:48

Yeah.

unknown 25:49

Right.

Brad 25:49

It was 06, right? 2006.

Shannon 25:51

I don't know. This is we've been married 19 years?

SPEAKER_06 25:53

I don't know, man. I don't know.

Shannon 25:54

You were a baby. I was still in the womb when we got married. Um practice.

SPEAKER_07 26:01

Uh now wait a second.

Shannon 26:03

Okay, wait. Okay. Oh, eight seven?

SPEAKER_07 26:06

Yep.

Shannon 26:06

Got married in 06. Yep. Yeah, you proposed to me in 05. So it was like we got married, we got engaged in 05, but we got married in September. I mean, it was not a full year.

Brad 26:19

I mean, it wasn't a five-year engagement.

Shannon 26:21

It was not a five-year engagement. It was fine. It was just fine, Dylan.

Brad 26:24

Yeah, okay. Whatever you guys say. Whatever you guys say. Talking about cocaine, daddy.

SPEAKER_04 26:28

Oh, that's a good one. Oh, nope. No. You had you did have to survive. I did have to survive though.

SPEAKER_07 26:34

My favorite type of weed was uh cocaine.

Shannon 26:37

Um, let me see here.

SPEAKER_07 26:38

Very Christmassy. It's snowing.

Shannon 26:40

So one thing that always I'll tell you a Christmas tradition. This was the Christmas magic in my house growing up.

Brad 26:47

Oh, yes, I know.

Shannon 26:48

We would wake up Christmas morning very early. It was still dark out because we had to go to another family Christmas. But we would wake up to the bells. And I'm talking sleigh bells from Santa Slay. And it was the real deal. And I would hear a ho ho ho, Merry Christmas. And it was on the roof. I don't know where it was. No, because it was it's like the door was opened and like you could hear, I mean, and these were like real loud sleigh bells.

SPEAKER_06 27:18

Who did it? Uh my grandpa. Santa. Oh nice.

Shannon 27:21

My grandpa. But it was bizarre because you were just like, I mean, like you could it just sounded so real, and we were always like, our dog didn't bark. Or like, it just was it sounded so I don't know if you did you ever get to hear it, Brad, or no?

Brad 27:36

The ho ho ho?

Shannon 27:37

Just the bells, the well, your mom has bells. Did he ever do it around you though?

Brad 27:41

But it was uh no, I was never a kid in your house.

Shannon 27:44

Wild because no, I didn't know if he did it whenever at one of our Christmas.

Brad 27:48

I mean, how old were you guys when you got engaged? Not kid age, yeah.

Shannon 27:51

But I didn't know if he was doing it at all, Brad. That's the question.

Brad 27:54

Wait, let me do the math. Shut up. 24. You're a child. Was I? No.

Shannon 27:59

But he I didn't know if he still did it for fun around you. That's what I was saying.

Brad 28:04

Hold on. Hold on. I gotta do math real quick.

Shannon 28:06

Please, Brad. Please, by all means, pause, please.

Brad 28:09

Phoenix.

Dylan 28:09

How many fucking years was I in college? Phoenix.

Shannon 28:12

Too many. You did five. I did four.

Dylan 28:14

Phoenix is closer to the age you got married than you are.

Shannon 28:17

Yeah. It's weird, isn't it?

Dylan 28:18

Oh, wait. I'm at 23.

Shannon 28:19

My friends and I, I was technically 23. We're like, when we were 15 or 16, we're like, can you believe in 15 more years we're gonna be 30? Because we would talk on the landline, we'd be talking, and it'd be like, oh my God, in 15 more years, we're gonna be 30. And that seemed so far off as a 15-year-old.

Dylan 28:36

It's funny you say that. I was having a conversation with someone yesterday about this, and I made a lot of decisions about the future of my life when I was between the ages of 18 and 22, based on being 30 or early 30s, in the sense of I'm not gonna go down that path because if I go down that path in life, I won't get out or I won't do things until I'm post-30, and that's just uh my life's over. Like at that point, like my best years are over. And you're like felt like a little time. I wish I could go back. And that's like if I had the time machine, the one thing I would do is go back and just say, listen, you gotta 34, you're just starting to figure this thing out. You're gonna have plenty of time. Like, go do the things you want to go do, take you know, invest in what you want to go invest in, whether climb yeah, but that's exactly it. There was so much, there was so many things. I mean, there were so many things that I wish I would have done, but I was like, oh, I need to start my career right now. I need to do this, I need to do that. It's like, yeah, sure. I'll then need to do that. Starting a great starting career is important, you know, you need to have some financial responsibility, but yeah, you have time to figure it out.

Shannon 29:39

You don't have time to take five years before you get married if you know it's the one.

Brad 29:45

Jesus Christ. Well, I mean, there's that. There's that too.

Shannon 29:47

You know, you don't want to send five years.

Dylan 29:49

I I just put an arbitrary number on it.

Shannon 29:51

It's not like I have any it's not like I'm five seems like a big number though.

Dylan 29:55

Just here.

Shannon 29:57

Look at Kona doesn't even like it. She is.

Food Rituals: Egg Gravy And Custard Bakes

Brad 29:59

When you when you find the one that you want to spend the rest of your life forever with, you want the rest of your life to start right now. I need to go fucking throw up.

SPEAKER_03 30:11

What's that from?

Brad 30:12

I hope that in the next in our next lifetime. I hope that in our next lifetime I find you sooner so that I can love you longer.

Shannon 30:20

Is that the notebook, Brad?

Brad 30:21

Is it? I don't know.

Shannon 30:23

It probably is. I think it is the notebook.

Dylan 30:25

We should get some notebook. If I'm a bird, you're a bird. I think we could.

Shannon 30:29

Guess what movie Brad and I watched on our very first quote unquote date together. And don't say it out loud.

Brad 30:35

And that we just watched the other night. And we did a little bit of it.

Shannon 30:39

No, it's not the notebook, no.

Brad 30:41

Well, take another guess.

Shannon 30:43

Come on, guess.

Brad 30:44

Not really rom com. Yeah, kind of rom com. How to lose a guy. Nope.

Shannon 30:48

No. No. That was probably before that.

unknown 30:50

I don't. Oh fuck.

Brad 30:52

Um serendipity. Do it. Do it.

Shannon 30:56

Do it.

Brad 30:57

Go down the road.

Shannon 30:58

I hate that movie.

Dylan 30:59

Whoa. I did not expect that one. Yes, we've talked about this. John. John Cusack. John Cusack.

Shannon 31:06

That is the dumbest movie I think I've ever wasted my time watching. Oh my god. Beautiful scene. Get the glove and go on with life.

Brad 31:13

All the lights? You can't just go on with life. She's a beautiful woman.

Shannon 31:16

I don't care. It was stupid.

Brad 31:18

She's English.

Shannon 31:20

Thank God we didn't watch that on our first date, or we might not have got married. This would have never happened.

Dylan 31:25

Yikes. I'm upset, right? Okay. Okay, so just tell me the movie.

Brad 31:30

Well, can I give you the actress? Sure. Because I don't know the actor. Oh, I know one of them, maybe. Reese Witherspoon.

Dylan 31:36

Sweet Alm Alabama.

Brad 31:37

Yes. God, if you were going to say legally blonde, I was going to punch you.

Dylan 31:41

Patrick Dempsey. Yeah. And then I forget.

Shannon 31:43

I can't think the one guy that is her husband. Yeah, that's what we watched. Brad made a tombstone and we watched that one.

SPEAKER_03 31:49

We kind of watched. So I can kiss you anytime I want.

Shannon 31:52

Uh we uh Brad actually got me a sign that said that in our bedroom. And I watched the tail end of that one. I'm like, oh, I just watched that part of the movie. It's like what part?

Brad 32:00

And I'm like, I said the part where she's talking to the dead dog.

Shannon 32:05

I was like, no, when they're on the beach and it's raining. I just watched the best part.

Brad 32:09

And I was like, the part where she's talking to the dog in the cemetery. That was the only part I cried at.

Shannon 32:13

So make a tombstone pizza and watch a movie with someone and see what happens.

Brad 32:18

That's okay. That's a I feel like I figured that one out. Yeah, that's like an analogy. So not a bun in the oven.

Shannon 32:25

What? Why would you put a bun in the oven? Oh my god.

Dylan 32:31

Again, this goes back to our conversation. Like, when's it appropriate to be like so birth control?

SPEAKER_01 32:36

Oh, you brought that up during the last podcast I was done.

Dylan 32:39

Yeah, I know. Do you not remember? Nope. And apparently I was the one drinking shit.

Shannon 32:42

No, I remember. I just remember thinking I was coming down to a Christmas traditions podcast.

Dylan 32:48

Well, here we are.

Shannon 32:49

We're 35 minutes into a fucking And I what did I say about the birth control? Just be open about it. You can openly communicate about that, then you should be able to openly communicate about other things.

Brad 33:00

That's true. Like wrapping presents or not. Yeah.

Shannon 33:04

Should I wrap this gift or not?

Brad 33:06

Okay.

Shannon 33:07

I don't know if it comes with insurance or not. Is there a warranty on it?

Brad 33:12

You want to see it as soon as you go through the curtain or you want to open something up? Jesus Christ. Talking about Christmas. Talk about practice.

Dylan 33:19

We're talking about practice.

SPEAKER_03 33:20

We're talking about practice.

Dylan 33:22

Talk about practice and trying to survive this goddamn podcast.

Shannon 33:28

You're doing good, Dylan. You're doing real good. This is good.

Brad 33:32

Yeah. I'm trying to think what I to your point with the I don't know what the house was like on your mom's side with all the people, but we had we were just discussing this the other night at my grandma's because she had, I mean, a house this size-ish, maybe.

Shannon 33:47

But she had you guys could the kids could go to the basement.

Brad 33:50

Yeah, we could go to the basement here too.

Shannon 33:52

Yeah.

Brad 33:53

I don't even know if like this room would really count.

Shannon 33:55

Well, I think you'd probably be setting up a table in here if it was I'm just I'm just comparing size-wise.

Brad 34:01

Yeah. And then fitting 40 people in this house, you know. Which you which you can do.

Shannon 34:07

You can do. And it worked out just fine.

Brad 34:09

It's packed and it also is awesome.

Dylan 34:12

It's awesome. I enjoy it until the kids are running around and spell shit everywhere, which is still part of the fun.

Shannon 34:18

That's what the basement's for.

Dylan 34:19

Yeah. So I've been to a couple different families, you know, significant others, Christmases through the years. And it's always fun, kind of I shouldn't say it's fun. It's fun for me. Fun integrating into that life. Because, you know, you were in the past episode, people probably don't watch sequential order, so it's fine. But we're talking about, you know, the you versus the real you versus the toned-down version of you. And um, with a severe case of ADHD, I go into these people's homes and they probably think I'm just like not very social and into them, like introverted almost. And it's not because I'm like scared or afraid, but I'm in a new environment and I'm taking it all in. My brain just starts analyzing everything. And then like I'm looking at a family photo, I'm wondering about the dynamics. Then I'm like, who's been with who and how and long, and what stories do you have? And then I just start playing this game in my head, and then somehow I'll start inventing something. I'll be like, Oh, I think there's a better method to do that over there. And so I just get like super wound up that way, and then everyone's like your brain starts going, my Dylan doesn't talk, and then inevitably my significant other would always be like, Oh, yeah, no, that no, you don't want to see him talk because when he does, he just doesn't stop.

SPEAKER_06 35:25

And I was like, Yeah, that's yeah, eventually you'll see me just.

Shannon 35:28

What'd you do when you came to my family's?

Dylan 35:29

Is this how this podcast got started? Yeah, yeah, I think so.

Shannon 35:32

Well, I think I don't know if you pitched it or if I pitched it.

Brad 35:35

I think you pitched it. Dude, I think I wore a fucking cowboy hat to your first Christmas.

Shannon 35:39

No, you were always really big on like cutting your hair into a mohawk, which is kind of funny that Phoenix came up with a mohawk a little bit ago, but you would always like cut your hair or like do something.

Brad 35:49

That was one time mohawk. That was that was after we were married.

Shannon 35:52

Right before Christmas.

Brad 35:54

That was after we were married.

Shannon 35:56

So what'd you feel about it before then?

Brad 35:57

I wore I wore a cowboy hat.

Shannon 35:59

No, you didn't.

Brad 36:00

Yeah, I did.

Shannon 36:00

Never do I remember you wearing a cowboy hat.

Brad 36:02

100%. There's a picture of us. I remember the Christmas. Where might have been 05.

Shannon 36:11

Magic, madness, heaven, sin. Saw you then and I thought. Oh, yeah. Do you or a cowboy hat at the time?

Brad 36:19

We'll find a picture. All right, let's get the goddamn picture. Jesus.

Shannon 36:22

Oh five.

Brad 36:22

I remember on my way to your mom's house.

Shannon 36:27

Okay.

Brad 36:27

Following a Cadillac on Route 67 that was driving through Viola in the other lane.

Shannon 36:34

Why do you think I think we called that in?

Brad 36:36

We did. Blew through the stop sign, kept it going.

Dylan 36:39

I've got a call in before.

Shannon 36:41

Oh, I did. But you were wearing a cowboy hat then? Oh, were we living? No, we weren't living.

Dylan 36:44

Was it a straw hat? Do you do that? Was it a straw hat? Maybe it was 04. It might have been 04.

SPEAKER_04 36:48

Was it beaver?

Shannon 36:48

I remember the Cadillac. You know what I did? I don't remember a cowboy hat. I remember the car going in the wrong lane, but I don't remember the card.

Dylan 36:57

What was the fabric? Laptop.

Shannon 36:59

I don't remember because he didn't wear it, Dylan. That's the point.

Dylan 37:03

Don't make me do this. I feel like Brad. Have you seen? Did you guys ever watch 30 Rock? No.

Shannon 37:09

Maybe bit super.

Dylan 37:10

So Kevin was like one of the NBC pages. He was like this very lovable, like all over the place type of guy. And they did an episode from Kevin's perspective one time. And it was a Muppet musical. And it was like, how what's inside Kevin? I sometimes wonder if Brad lives in this musical. And it's just like how he sees the world. And I'm like, no, yeah, Brad just sees Muppets and cowboy hats. I see things in slow motion.

Shannon 37:37

Do we have a picture of you in the said cowboy hat?

Brad 37:40

Because I don't remember the You have a picture of me in that cowboy hat.

Shannon 37:44

I'm sure I do.

Brad 37:46

Whoa.

Shannon 37:46

Yeah, that was from college.

Dylan 37:48

I thought she said I thought she said she doesn't have a space in this house.

Shannon 37:51

But was that in I don't have space in this house that is just solely mine.

Brad 37:57

So yeah, like two drawers in the bathroom.

Shannon 37:59

You have a garage, you have you have the closet. This space.

Brad 38:04

This space.

Shannon 38:05

I tried to make this my space at work.

Brad 38:07

This is how you do with this space. How would you do that?

Shannon 38:09

Nothing, but it's this is where I work out in the mornings. So I kind of like it to be a little bit clutter-free. And sometimes the garage storage spills out to this area.

Dylan 38:21

Oh, I would have never guessed that.

Shannon 38:24

That becomes a real problem.

Dylan 38:26

Do you ever notice that he does the wounded puppy thing where he just won't look they know they're in trouble?

SPEAKER_01 38:30

That's probably why we're still married. He just keeps giving the wounded puppy look.

Dylan 38:34

They know they're in trouble, and so they just look away, and then you're like, look at me, look at me. And they're like, I'm not gonna look. I'm not gonna look. If I don't look, I can't get in trouble. I don't even know what we're talking about right now.

Shannon 38:44

Bad dog.

Dylan 38:45

Oh, I can't use their names because I know they'll come running, but I'm just like laughing.

Shannon 38:49

And they're very calm right now. Look at it. They're being a good boy and a good girl.

Brad 38:53

I can't see you.

Wrapping Presents And Timing Debates

Shannon 38:55

Oh they know. It was funny because who was I was I talking to you? We were in bed the other night, and of course, Kilo had somehow managed his way up there. And I'm like, it's funny because he knows when I'm talking to him, because he'll start patting his tail. I'll be like, oh, what do you think we should do later? Do you think that we should go to bed? Should we go? And like I'll just be talking to him, and it's just like me. You just hear the smack. And then I'll say something to Brad, like, I don't know, should we watch this show? Should we watch that show? And doesn't even pay attention. That's true. The dog. The dog knows when I'm talking to him. That's what I'm saying.

Dylan 39:26

Also true. Also he's the goodest boy. Yeah. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. You did it. Oh.

Shannon 39:33

Shocked me.

Dylan 39:34

We get his licks on. Get his license on get his license on the mic.

Brad 39:36

No, you don't like that. Lay down.

SPEAKER_01 39:38

Lay down. Lay back down.

Brad 39:39

He has a fun Christmas tradition. What's his habit of ripping the the stockings that are his Ankonas out of wherever they are.

Dylan 39:48

My stepmom, uh her dogs all open their presents. They've for whatever reason she's trained them to open their we didn't train them and they We love our dogs, but we never get them gifts.

Shannon 39:59

Um And you know what? Well, actually, I to be fair, we got him a ball. Lay down.

Brad 40:03

But every day is Christmas for them. That's how I feel.

Shannon 40:06

But Brad's mom and dad got them stockings. You guys rescued them.

Brad 40:09

They've got good lives now. Every day's Christmas.

Shannon 40:12

Lay back down. I'm done talking to you right now.

Brad 40:15

I think.

Shannon 40:16

I think he does.

Brad 40:17

We got our first dog on Christmas Eve.

Shannon 40:19

Well, that's a good tradition.

Brad 40:20

And we try to follow it up every year.

Shannon 40:22

I don't think we should perpetuate.

Dylan 40:24

I don't think we should perpetuate this tradition. I think two max.

Shannon 40:27

Oh no, I agree with you. But I'm here to tell you. I disagree. I'm here to tell you, Dylan.

Dylan 40:32

We've talked about it. Okay, dogs aren't like kids.

Shannon 40:34

Oh, I think we did talk about this on the last slide.

Brad 40:36

Dogs are not like kids.

Shannon 40:38

But we got two good ones, and it can be expensive. Stop it. Would you lay down? They don't listen, but he's got foul breath right now, and I don't know.

Brad 40:46

He's probably just digging in the trash.

Shannon 40:49

You're the bestest boy.

Dylan 40:52

Don't, don't, don't do that. It sounds awful. I did.

SPEAKER_01 40:54

I'm not sure.

Dylan 40:55

When I'm editing when I'm editing, when I'm editing this and you do stuff away from the mic, it makes me so mad because this the editing software is like, we don't like this section at all. It's bad audio. And I'm like, no, it's funny because he's supposed to be doing it. Yeah.

Shannon 41:08

I was telling Dylan earlier, like, you know, drunk shopping is fun, but one of my favorite memories include uh drinking a margarita and going shopping for dogs. But I was not drinking when we got it's not shopping, it's choosing. It's true. That's not shopping.

Dylan 41:26

It seems borderline irresponsible.

Shannon 41:29

But you guys don't really, don't really do that, guys. I'm sorry, do they look irresponsible? Don't really do that, guys. That was just a funny ha ha. We've only done it twice and we've got two keepers.

Brad 41:40

Do it as long as you keep them. I was gonna say you guys.

Shannon 41:42

But we've also, to be fair, when we don't adopt a dog, we have put down money towards another dog. So like this is something fun you could do. Go have some fun.

Dylan 41:53

Pay for it, right? Yeah.

Shannon 41:54

And then you pick out if I could get one, this is the one, or this is the one I want to be adopted. And then it's a surprise to the person that goes and adopts that dog.

Brad 42:01

So pay for it and promote it.

Shannon 42:04

Yeah. So, but you don't say that you put that money down.

Dylan 42:07

So it's kind of like Do you guys have a shelter you guys go to?

Shannon 42:10

QC Pause.

Dylan 42:12

Is it a kill shelter or no?

Shannon 42:13

No, it's a no-kill shelter, but it's right behind right behind the airport in Moline. Um I think it might be considered Rock Island County, but it's QCpaws.org. Follow them on Facebook, check out the website.

Dylan 42:25

Yeah, they seem to do a really good job. I know they're big on our social media. Not like ours, but and our community social media.

Shannon 42:30

I mean, uh and we've gotten all of our animals from there.

Brad 42:33

And if we're being honest, like the uh and there there's some different variances in it, but when you say like no-kill shelter, they they have had they just made a post the other day. Their longest resident is well over two years now for a dog. Um so they do it's no kill in that sense, but there's also dogs that are either probably found or surrendered that are they they they won't just adopt out any single animal that comes in there.

Dylan 43:02

No, but they're they're they vet, they have an aggressive vetting process. It's not like you can just walk in and get it. Like they're gonna make sure you're a match. No, but also like if but there are certain animals you should point saying like this isn't and so the like they they're a no-kill shelter, but those dogs may go elsewhere.

Shannon 43:18

Yeah, you know, and like if you have dogs already, like we have put a dog on hold before, and then they you have to do a meet if you have your own if you have dogs already, you have to do a meet and greet. And so Kilo, of course, Kilo passed the test um because we got Kona. And we actually, I was just looking through my one line a day journal. And um, what am I hanging up on here?

Dylan 43:42

It's just her. Um come over here.

Shannon 43:44

But then a few years ago, we at this same time of year, we have a real tendency of going back to the shelter. Uh, had put another dog, Polo, on hold. That was his name.

Dylan 43:55

And someone can we do a puppy podcast where we just have a bunch of puppies. Oh my god.

Shannon 43:59

Have you seen the reels where it's like dogs talking on podcasts and they have like, you know, it's like AI, so they have like that, and they're on the mic and they're like, and they talk like they're real people. Those are my favorite.

Brad 44:11

Well, do I have something for you? Oh no, please don't. No, I just sent it to her. Oh, okay.

Shannon 44:16

Oh, is it a dog? Is it a dog? Oh, it's anyways, but I mean if you really want to, you know, if you can't adopt a dog, but you want to have some fun looking and promoting, go pick one out, go up to the front desk, say, I want to put money towards this dog for adoption. So then when somebody comes in and they go to adopt, like that money is it, it's just like a good fun surprise for them.

Brad 44:39

Yeah, and I like to leave a note that's like, you owe me this. Have a Merry Christmas. Don't fuck this dog's life up. Oh no, he doesn't do that.

Shannon 44:47

No, that's good. But like the boys have done like a birthday party, you know, we can do a donation.

Dylan 44:51

I have the dog tracker on my phone. I will find you.

Shannon 44:54

Funny.

Dylan 44:55

I have a particular set of skills.

Shannon 44:57

Oh my gosh, when did you do that to Kilo?

Brad 44:59

Oh no.

Shannon 45:00

Was that tonight?

Brad 45:01

Yeah, he's a dog caster.

Shannon 45:02

He is.

Brad 45:03

He's a dog caster. Don't talk. See?

Shannon 45:05

Did you see how we were talking about him? His tail was going.

Brad 45:07

Yeah, he's a dog caster.

Shannon 45:08

He's like, What's up? He's a good dog caster. I know he is. What topics would you talk about?

Dylan 45:14

Balls, tails gone. Tails gone.

Shannon 45:16

Same as you, balls, walks, rides in the car.

Dylan 45:19

What do we accomplish in this episode? Absolutely nothing.

Shannon 45:22

That's a lie. That is a lie. We know that your first Christmas morning traditional breakfast is gonna be a custard.

Brad 45:29

I can't, I don't know if that's true. I just small camisole. Yeah. They'd be like, didn't we do that? I thought we established the lingerie thing.

Shannon 45:36

Was there another Christmas tradition that we did?

Dylan 45:39

I didn't know there was a lingerie. I wasn't informed about a lingerie.

Shannon 45:42

I've got to stay in a bodysuit if anybody wants to wear it. Nobody's ever worn it yet, but I bought it for a fun time.

Brad 45:48

So is next year's party.

Shannon 45:49

Brad put on my tights. So that's like a new tradition that we've kind of started is the pop-up party.

Brad 45:54

You started. Sure.

Dylan 45:57

Am I invited next year? I would like to say that I do. I asked Brad to bring the podcast gear, and he was like, don't, don't, don't.

SPEAKER_01 46:03

I was like, no, but we just loud.

Dylan 46:05

No, but I'm saying just people rotate in in.

SPEAKER_01 46:07

Oh.

Dylan 46:07

Yeah, we just do two hours. And Brad and I will just stay there. And then people could just rotate in.

Brad 46:13

Think about my first section every time. There's so much what? There's so much although almost no one's in this room.

Dylan 46:18

The audio There's a few that came out this year. The audio we can cut. We can cut all the dead space out. It's fine.

Shannon 46:24

I'm gonna set up tables into the living room next year. No one's gonna go in there. I'm gonna open up the curtain. Everyone hangs out. That's the thing about parties. Everyone always hangs out in the kitchen.

Dylan 46:32

Kitchen. Always. That's what I tell people.

Shannon 46:34

No matter how big it is, how small it is.

Dylan 46:36

Don't invest in your living room, invest in your kitchen.

Brad 46:38

Obviously, you're telling me that after I invested in the living room.

Shannon 46:41

I love the living room. I've been sitting in the living room a lot lately.

Brad 46:43

We have indulged in it lately.

Shannon 46:45

It's Christmas break.

Merging Traditions Across Families

Brad 46:47

I am thankful for It's not Thanksgiving. My wife uh being, you know, obnoxious about decorating for Christmas because it It does bring a sense of joy to you. A lot. Yeah. Like I love it. I know the boys love it. And we just she kind of keeps adding to it. And I mean, if we're being honest, I'm not doing all that shit. I'm not I'm not doing it on my own. No, you're definitely not. And I I really enjoy it, and I know it's something that the boys will remember, just like I, you know, just like I remembered.

Dylan 47:19

I'm I'm sitting next to a tree. I can't just sit next to a tree in a completely different podcast you do in your house. And yeah, I've got I've got two podcast trees at the child household. I love it. I remember when will you guys take it all down? When's Christmas season over?

Brad 47:32

We thought about never.

Shannon 47:33

No, that's not true.

Brad 47:35

Uh we talked about it.

Shannon 47:36

Um I like the lights, which I did just see this thing. Like you could no, it's normally over Christmas break. Maybe Christmas or not Christmas, New Year's.

Dylan 47:44

After Christmas, yeah, after New Year's.

Brad 47:45

When's the Irish holiday? Which one?

Shannon 47:47

St. Patrick's Day? Yeah. March 17th. There we go. That's spring break for me, but well, it's coming out on a spring break. I don't know.

Brad 47:55

That's perfect.

Shannon 47:56

Sometimes we carry the trees up, no decorations in July for my birthday, because that's Christmas in July.

Brad 48:02

Huh. Do you like that? That's nice. That's all that matters.

Shannon 48:07

The boys used to decorate it when they were younger. They're like, okay, we'll decorate the tree for mom's birthday. That's fine.

Dylan 48:13

What do you think your kids would take away from Christmas if you were to ask them what their favorite parts are? Or what traditions do you think will they carry on? And if they're ever on a podcast.

Shannon 48:22

Well, I know that's a good thing.

Dylan 48:23

God forbid as bad as this one in the future. What do you think they'll talk about?

Shannon 48:26

It's a real hot take for people, but Elf on the Shelf is really fun.

unknown 48:29

Hot takes.

Dylan 48:30

I mean, there's a lot of people out there that are like eh-the-worst thing ever, but I saw that this Instagram account of this girl that dressed up as Elf of a Shelf, and she doesn't have kids. It's her just her husband. Yes, we saw it. And I was dying. Maybe Phoenix showed it. And she passed out on the kitchen counter. Yes. It was it was good. Yeah, do that.

Shannon 48:56

I think that the early decorating of the tree will be one because Phoenix already this year, just like because November 1st. Well, November 1st fell on a Saturday this year. So usually it's like Brad'll make a joke of like carrying up the tree on uh Halloween, which one year we did walk around and there was some people that had a tree up in their window, which was kind of funny. But Phoenix put I decorated November 1st this year, and he put up a tree in his room November 1st. Which he did put lights on and stuff. Like he he did string the lights. We don't like put ornaments on theirs typically, but you know, I'm I'm a post I'm a post-Thanksgiving guy. No, there's something about the Christmas lights that I like the garland and the lights.

Brad 49:38

Yeah, but it kind of eases the darkness of winter.

Dylan 49:41

It yeah, it it does, man. There, I think some of my you know, talking about Christmas traditions or the things that bring on. I sitting even before Christmas, you know, the week or so leading up and being at your house sitting in the lights and the dark, like you've dart like this, it's dark, it's moody, the Christmas trees on, you're playing some music. Well, you know, I like jazz at this time of the year or Christmas, even Christmas music.

Shannon 50:04

Cozy Christmas jazz on Spotify, might I recommend that. That's our new one.

Dylan 50:07

You just you're sitting on the couch enjoying whoever you're with company, and it's like I don't think there's a lot more. I don't think there's a lot better in life. Oh, to your point, it does ease that dark, and then that's why January gets so dangerous. Or the end of January, beginning of February.

Shannon 50:21

Did I need to leave the Christmas stuff all through January?

Brad 50:23

Well, that's what people are like, oh, day after Christmas, I'm gonna take all my decorations down. I'm like, bitch, I got like nine more months to be super depressed this year. Like let's leave the lights.

Shannon 50:32

Maybe I'll take the ornaments down and stuff, but leave the lights up.

Brad 50:35

The lights are big.

Shannon 50:36

Last year, Brad actually hung up some hooks in our hallway with the lights and the ornaments because I had this saw this TikTok or something.

Brad 50:45

Yeah, she's like, Can we drill a bunch of holes in the wall?

Shannon 50:47

I didn't. I actually had plastic stick-on hooks that fell down. How'd that work? They fell down.

Dylan 50:52

Yeah. Have you figured out if the plaster's coming off the ceiling yet or not? Fuck it, do it live. No. Are you talking about the missing piece and the he just was worried about the packing tape that was on the ceiling?

Shannon 51:04

You know, when you were talking about how you look around things and look at the pictures, I was like, I wonder if he looks at like the balloons in our house that are and are like, man, I wonder if Brad gets annoyed that she just put packing tape on the ceiling with the balloons.

Brad 51:16

Only if it pulls a plaster off.

Shannon 51:17

Did you see the open plaster on our ceiling? So until he worries about that, he doesn't get to worry about the clear packing.

Dylan 51:24

I'm not taking sides here, okay? I'm worried about it. You should. I'm worried about it.

Brad 51:28

Hostile. But also Done is better than perfect, right? I'll do it tomorrow. Getting uncomfortable.

Shannon 51:35

Why?

Brad 51:37

A few more days.

Shannon 51:38

A few more days of what?

Dylan 51:40

A few more days. Of what? What do you? I guess that's a good point. Like, what is if you don't want to be Christmassy, but you want to feel good in the middle of winter when things are down.

Shannon 51:49

Put up a Christmas tree again.

Dylan 51:52

You're not wrong.

Shannon 51:53

I actually just saw this thing about how to like enjoy like the whimsical of the winter without Christmas y things. And it was like lighting.

SPEAKER_04 52:02

Yeah.

Shannon 52:02

Um keeping that stuff up. Like whatever the Norwegians do.

Dylan 52:06

Well, that's right. That's what it was.

Shannon 52:07

It was like how to keep a Norwegian type.

Dylan 52:10

What I'm thinking about, I think what's happened is we've drink, we've crossed. Dude, we're in the middle of the year. Cousine music were just fine. Cousine music was a thing. But the I think what we've done is we've Christmas Christmasized. Is that can I use that word?

Shannon 52:23

Go for it.

Dylan 52:24

We've Christmasized what other Nordic countries do normally, to your point, during the winter. And now it's like, oh, that's a Christmas thing. We can't do that in January. That's what Jesus wants. Why can't yeah? Why can't there be white lights and other things not just his birthday anymore?

Shannon 52:39

It's his birthday week, his birthday month. It's his birthday thing.

Dylan 52:42

And honestly, the pattern, it's you know, talk about the tartans and the plaids, those are just very chic Ralph Loren, and we shouldn't just embrace them at Christmas time. Those are all winter. Those are winter patterns. So how do we normalize Christmas without without making it Christmas?

Shannon 52:58

Is it Christmas? It's not Christmas. That's what I'm saying.

Dylan 53:00

How do we make it how do we make it winter and enjoy it a bit cozy? I think that's why I like going to Colorado so much, is because even in the winter, it does I'm well, you're outdoor, you're skiing. Yes. But it's winter it's winter there. It's winter there, and it's comfy, it's cozy. They do all, you know, there's lights up still, there's fireplaces.

Brad 53:24

Well, there's that's what it is. There's still a sense of community and that's one in the Midwest and we just shut down. And in the far north, it's like, nope we're gonna hunker down. Yeah.

Dylan 53:33

Instead of but I think that's what instead of embracing I think Minneapolis is really and I there's certain towns like Colorado, obviously for space constraints, whatever, the resorts, they've got the heating, there's tons of money out there, don't get me wrong. But like you're you you're sitting in your ski gear outside gear drinking in like anywhere from 10 degree to you know, some people will be zero, but not a lot, like 10 degree to 35 degree weather, and you're just sitting on the top of a mountain having lunch outside at picnic tables in your ski gear, and it's not like oh, I'm so cold, I'm freezing. It's like you dress appropriately, yeah. You're still able to be outside and enjoy it. Yeah, and like Minneapolis is a great example. They know they're a cold weather city, they're outdoor, their outdoor dining facilities are unbelievable, and they even have them in the winter because they're like, we need to use this space all year. And for some reason in our town, we just not figured out how to make outdoor space accessible all year round. I mean Which drives me a little nuts.

Brad 54:31

I laid on the ground in the winter in a nice Philsen sweater and had a great time.

Dylan 54:34

Yeah, you were just puking your brains out.

Shannon 54:35

Was that in the Philsen sweater?

Brad 54:37

One time.

Shannon 54:37

Oh my god.

Brad 54:38

Is that when you smoke too much? One time.

Shannon 54:40

That was a beautiful day up until that point.

Brad 54:42

It was a beautiful day after that.

Shannon 54:44

I want to take Brad ice skating and he doesn't want to.

Dylan 54:47

Do we gotta talk about this again? Yeah. I had to sit in the goddamn hot seat. You could sit in the goddamn hot seat.

Shannon 54:51

Orvin, his life dream is to go ice skating and your child's joy away.

Crowded Houses, Nostalgia, And Boundaries

Brad 54:57

I am absolutely not taking it. I said I will 100% watch. I will go watch you. I'll be like, hey, how'd that fall feel on your face? You like ice skating now? It's the dumbest fucking thing ever.

Shannon 55:07

So he's not gonna be invited because he's a real fun hater.

Brad 55:10

No. Yeah, I'm not a fun hater.

Shannon 55:12

You just sounded like one about 10 seconds ago.

Dylan 55:14

I got better. Were you abused as a child? I got with ice skates. Okay. That's funny. What? What?

Shannon 55:20

I've not I've not even like skated either. I'm not like saying I love it, but I'm just saying, let's try it out.

Brad 55:25

I have I know. And I'm just saying I don't want to go.

Shannon 55:28

New traditions.

Brad 55:30

Why don't you where where are you guys gonna go? Listen.

Shannon 55:32

I was gonna go to the is it the l- No, the Bettendorf one.

Dylan 55:34

Yeah, where like splash landing was or whatever over there.

Shannon 55:36

Is it called the landing?

Dylan 55:37

Yeah, the landing, yeah.

Brad 55:38

I will say I it really. No, it really hurts my like cankles.

Shannon 55:44

So you could just say, you know, I'd love to watch you guys. I'm afraid I'd like to.

Brad 55:48

I do want I would I would love to watch you guys.

Shannon 55:50

How does it feel falling on your face?

Brad 55:52

Yeah, also that isn't that fun. I don't I'm not answering. I did see a skating video today or yesterday about skating. No, she this girl is skating outside and it's on a creek system, like racing. No, just just up, just gliding along, like that's cool. You know, going under trees and going around and just meandering her way through this little creek track that's all frozen over. It was really pretty.

Dylan 56:20

I met someone the other day that do you remember the downhill ice skating? Like that crazy, like four-cross ice skating. No, that's not dangerous. Red Bull was throwing it on. Of course, and it's like motocross but downhill, and there's jumps and cra like it's like five or six guys, and they're go down the line off the hill, and then they're racing over jumps and turns and corners and like flying down the hill. On ice. On ice. That sounds awful. It looks really cool, but I would eat shit. So if I'm not that I just know how bad my knees hurt. But I met a guy. I met a girl whose husband was like the number one ranked guy in the world. Oh. He's like sponsored by Red Bull and shit. Yeah, there's only fucking like ten of them. Well, I think, yeah, but that's even more impressive, I think. But there's only ten of them. Is it? I don't know.

Shannon 57:06

Is it true confession? I've never been skiing.

Dylan 57:09

That's fine. You and most of the world.

Shannon 57:11

But I have went tubing.

Dylan 57:12

Skiing is awesome.

Shannon 57:13

Tubing counts.

Dylan 57:14

Tubing counts. Anything any any outdoor snow activity is great.

Brad 57:18

I mean, tubing is not unlike your first time skiing where you have absolutely no control.

Shannon 57:25

He did that as a birthday party, and it was great.

Dylan 57:28

I'm hoping to get 25 days this year on skis.

Shannon 57:31

Twenty-five days on skis.

Dylan 57:33

Yeah. Well, in Asp.

Brad 57:35

I've never had 25 days on skis. Yeah.

Shannon 57:37

I've not had two days on skis. I've not had two hours on skis.

Brad 57:41

Yeah.

Shannon 57:42

And I'm okay with that because I feel like at this point it might get scary.

Brad 57:46

Um I feel like I mean, I don't think you can recover as well as when I first went. What happened? I mean, if you had the skiing accidents I had when I wasn't a good selling point. Sub 18. I probably have.

Dylan 57:59

In the mid-40s? Yeah, no, no. Not at your age. It's not good. No. I there there's some stuff that I don't even screw around with anymore because I'm like, my body does just does not handle it like it used to. Like the heels.

Shannon 58:12

It only gets worse, Dylan.

Dylan 58:14

I mean, I don't I don't I don't backflip anymore.

Shannon 58:19

Off of what?

Dylan 58:20

Jumps?

Shannon 58:21

What kind of jump?

Dylan 58:22

Just kickers? I don't.

Shannon 58:24

What's a kicker?

SPEAKER_04 58:25

Just a kicker, hardly no.

Shannon 58:27

That was that was gonna be my joke.

Brad 58:29

I'm sorry. Oh, you still stole hit a button for her. Oh be curious. No, no, hit the sad one. I'm really sad. She's really sad. I stole her joke.

SPEAKER_01 58:40

No, I'm not sad. I'm mad.

Dylan 58:44

And the Christmas spirit is alive. Feels I can just feel it on December 29th.

Shannon 58:50

Christmas.

Dylan 58:51

Chris Maquanzaconica. Love it. Chris Maquanza Hanukkah. Yeah.

Shannon 58:57

Let's do it. December 29th.

Dylan 58:58

Oh. Oh. Surrey was trying to talk to me.

Shannon 59:02

And why does it sound like that?

Dylan 59:04

I Suri is South African for me.

Shannon 59:06

How do I do that? Oh, that's fine.

Dylan 59:07

Mine's Irish. Oh, do you really have the Irish or Suri?

Shannon 59:11

He's a liar.

Dylan 59:12

No, the Irish woman. Oh. Love it. I have I the South African's good. I like him.

Shannon 59:17

South African.

Dylan 59:18

Yeah.

Shannon 59:19

Because it almost sounds kind of like a little bit of a little bit more.

Dylan 59:21

Brad said, Brad, Brad said that you are not allowing him to do the new Hooker Alexa voice.

Shannon 59:27

She annoys me. I'm tired of hearing about her asking me to hear her voice because I heard it and then she comes on and I'm like Is it hot girl voice?

SPEAKER_04 59:35

I haven't heard it yet.

Shannon 59:36

No, she sounds like a valley girl in college.

SPEAKER_04 59:39

And I'm like hot girl voice. Yeah.

Shannon 59:41

Stop. Just get away. And if she asks me one more time, she's gonna get unplugged.

Brad 59:46

Well, she's gonna ask you because I keep telling her to ask you.

Shannon 59:50

Because I've already listened to it. That's the annoying part.

Brad 59:52

Do you ever you ever well?

Shannon 59:55

It wasn't like that.

Brad 59:56

It was like this What do you want on your grocery list this week? I love an attractive voice on the other side of the phone.

Shannon 1:00:02

It wasn't attractive. It was annoying.

Dylan 1:00:05

Like Well, that's your opinion.

Shannon 1:00:07

You like the new is it Alexa Premium?

Dylan 1:00:09

I haven't heard it. I have no idea.

Shannon 1:00:10

Oh, well, so once you hear it, you're gonna be like, oh shit.

Dylan 1:00:13

Man, you know what's really sad about like a few years.

Brad 1:00:16

Is that you can see faces.

Dylan 1:00:18

Oh, you don't have to. There are only fans that don't do faces. Really? I think so. I've never paid for an OnlyFans, so I don't know. I don't know. Because there's you know, two or four. I feel like OnlyFans is like drugs. It's like, no, I don't buy them. Drugs? But if somebody sends them the mail, that's my morality line right there.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:38

I don't I don't buy 'em. I'm not, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna take that, but I'll uh puff puff pass. Yeah, you know, yeah. That's uh anyways.

Shannon 1:00:47

I don't like the new Alexa Premium's voice.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:49

What voice do you like?

Shannon 1:00:51

I like what she sounds like now, I guess.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:52

I mean, she do you like it though?

Shannon 1:00:54

I don't like it, but I don't know what my options are. I don't want to just have two voices that are an option.

Brad 1:00:58

I don't think she likes your voice either because she doesn't answer you most of the time.

Shannon 1:01:01

No, I usually end up yelling at her.

Dylan 1:01:03

I feel like you guys are feuding, maybe. I don't actually know how many voices Alexa is capable. I don't I don't know.

Shannon 1:01:09

I'm just tired of her continuously asking me, do you want to hear my oh, and by the way, do you want to hear my new voice on Blah Blah Ba? No, if I did, I'd ask for it, but thank you.

Dylan 1:01:19

I my brother was using my Amazon for a while, I think, because like I would get notifications. They'd be like, in your shopping cart, new disc rims are bubble. I'm like, I don't I don't put car parts in my shopping.

Brad 1:01:31

Oh, well, now I'm gonna start putting stuff in our Amazon.

Dylan 1:01:35

You're you're saved for later items are now 20% cheaper.

Brad 1:01:40

I'm gonna get carried away.

Dylan 1:01:41

Um I did have Alexa. Oh my god, this was this was with this was when this was in Rome. I was at Rome and the person I was with at the time got mad at her. I don't remember what she got mad at, but she just started talking to herself and she literally ordered like 400 rolls of toilet paper. Oh boy. And then I got a call and she's like, Can you go to Amazon and cancel because Alexa fucking just ordered it? She's like, Your order has been confirmed. And I go on my cart and my orders, and sure as shit, like Wow. I forget what the order was exactly. I bet I can go look it up actually. Um it's the same account, but it was I was dying laughing that that she was able to just kind of go on her own little tirade by herself and then just order a bunch of shit randomly.

Shannon 1:02:23

I've done that before.

Dylan 1:02:24

If I've tried to order, it's I don't like it because I've done it before, but it's like the four pack versus the total pack or the whatever.

Shannon 1:02:30

She can't even figure out what to add to a shopping list. And sometimes I'll put something like that.

Dylan 1:02:34

Do you guys get Walmart Plus out here?

Shannon 1:02:35

Yeah, that is a dream.

Dylan 1:02:38

Do you guys subscribe to stuff?

Shannon 1:02:39

Like I I just like I uh well I just subscribe for Amazon, but not for Walmart yet.

Dylan 1:02:44

Oh, I subscribe on Walmart for like my Greek yogurts and my granolas.

Shannon 1:02:48

Fascinating.

Dylan 1:02:49

It's I mean that's the most healthy snack throughout the week, and that's just like what I snack on. And so it's like every Monday I need three and two.

Shannon 1:02:55

I took a little break from the delivery to the house during the month of December because there was a lot of craziness happening out here.

Dylan 1:03:02

Why is he doing the snori vate face? What are you so angry about?

Shannon 1:03:05

Because he doesn't have to worry about the shopping.

Dylan 1:03:07

What are you gonna talk about? Jesus Christ. Why don't you fix your goddamn shop? Let's talk about that. When are you gonna actually do the things you say you're gonna do? That is not Christmas related. Come on, Brad. Let's build a Christmas shop.

Shannon 1:03:17

It's a Christmas miracle.

Brad 1:03:18

That's exactly. It's Christmas. You know what? Fuck you guys. You just said you were really proud of me before we started this.

Shannon 1:03:23

Do you want me to put a Christmas tree out there? Would that help?

Brad 1:03:26

Ooh. I do have a candle to burn out there. Is it pine? Well, the problem is there's a lot of kindling out there.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:32

I don't know if that's a good idea. Yeah, new house. I don't think it's a good idea.

Dylan 1:03:36

Don't do it. Don't do it. I just got rid of most of it, though. I was gonna say, especially with the stain. Just put a fresh coat of lacquer on it. Did you see that thing? It went up.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:46

That's mostly not flammable. Oh, I'm not interested in Walmart Plus. Meet the parents?

Brad 1:03:53

No, I'm like a fresh coat of lacquer on it.

Shannon 1:03:55

I just get in sleepy to have too much beer.

Dogs, Stockings, And Shelter Stories

Brad 1:03:57

You know what? I am happy about the Walmart Plus because it's less that you have to do it.

Shannon 1:04:02

It brings me joy. It sparks joy.

Brad 1:04:04

It's spark of joy.

Shannon 1:04:05

I love it. I can't get enough of it. One time I accidentally had somebody else's groceries ordered to me here, and I felt real bad about it. We ate them all. I didn't eat the chicken, but like these people had gotten like chick, well, because they were like rotisserie chickens or something, and it was like I wasn't planning for that. But I think we got like milk and butter, and I put it out on on Orient Family. I said, Did anyone not get their order? Because they gave it to us too. Nobody claimed it.

Dylan 1:04:30

How old were you when you found out Santa didn't exist? What?

Shannon 1:04:33

What?

Dylan 1:04:34

That's what we're gonna end this on.

Shannon 1:04:35

No.

Dylan 1:04:35

Ow? Oh shit. Sorry. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm so sore though.

Shannon 1:04:40

I can't answer that question because to me, sir.

Dylan 1:04:43

There's kids in this goddamn house. This is dangerous.

Shannon 1:04:46

He does. Okay. So I can't I will end on that. There's not an age. Whoopsie. I can't give an age because the magic to believe is to receive, is what I heard someone say once, and that's what I'll go with.

Dylan 1:05:00

Wait. Let's try to make a joke out. I'm gonna have to redact this, aren't I?

Brad 1:05:04

No, because that's your belief. Oh, okay. And your beliefs don't matter.

Dylan 1:05:10

Okay, good. It's like the Polar Express. It's like a lot of things. Yeeks.

Shannon 1:05:14

What are you worried about?

Dylan 1:05:15

I mean, how close are they?

Shannon 1:05:17

I don't I don't see a street. I don't remember.

Brad 1:05:19

I don't remember. Damn it, I fucking ruined it. I don't remember that being a that'd be a good podcast. I don't remember that either. Not your kids, but somebody else's a memorable thing in my life.

Shannon 1:05:29

No.

Brad 1:05:30

You know?

Shannon 1:05:30

I can remember the oldest talking about it with me on a while. Whoa.

Brad 1:05:35

Caught my parents.

Shannon 1:05:38

It is a lot of strength.

Dylan 1:05:39

Would you quit doing that?

Shannon 1:05:40

It's a lot of stress. I will say.

Dylan 1:05:42

I wasn't that wigged out by it. It didn't really like crush me. No, and I think it's I think that's a metaphor for how I am now. Okay. Dead inside.

Shannon 1:05:51

Hence why you don't want to create new traditions with your future self.

Dylan 1:05:55

True new traditions, marriage, all of it.

Shannon 1:05:58

Christmas life.

Dylan 1:05:59

Brad, why don't you talk about what you want to talk about? That's it.

Shannon 1:06:02

You just wanted to make me happy.

Brad 1:06:04

That's it. You got 364 days. To do what? Make me happy. Why? Get me another co-host.

Dylan 1:06:09

Have you? Have you seen this what I'm saying? Like, this reminds me, have you seen the guy that's like, I'm gonna split the G, like day 67 of trying to split the G, and he like grabs a guess and he fucking chugs the whole thing and he's like, damn it. No. That's how I it's like he's very obviously not trying to split the G, but I'm like, that's how I feel when it's like uh we have one year to make Brad happy. And I'm like, well, we'll see you in 2027.

Shannon 1:06:33

So I feel like this has been like one of those rom com books that I've read or something where it's like I was thinking more 50 shades.

Dylan 1:06:39

Can we get more 50 shades?

Shannon 1:06:41

That was shitty writing, but like Yeah, of course it was shitty writing. There's there's a lot better ones out there.

Dylan 1:06:46

Send them my way. I'm looking to get in the rom com. Wait.

Shannon 1:06:49

Are you on the Goodreads? What?

Dylan 1:06:51

No, I need to be.

Brad 1:06:52

Oh, I was confused about the genre we were going for.

Shannon 1:06:55

Rom com. All right.

Brad 1:06:57

Last words? Uh make traditions, not babies. Keep memories. Oh, make make babies and memories.

Shannon 1:07:04

Make traditions keep memories. Wow, Brad.

Dylan 1:07:07

Happy Chris McKonza Hanukkah.