Soma Rising

How The Enneagram Reveals Hidden Greed And The Path To Generosity

• Tabitha MacDonald • Episode 66

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What if generosity isn’t about money, but about how freely we offer time, attention, and presence when it’s least convenient? A late, anxious pull into a hospital parking lot turns into a masterclass on dropping judgment and choosing service—and it sets the stage for a deeper dive into how greed and miserliness quietly run our lives. We trace the subtle difference: greed reaches outward for more, miserliness clamps inward in fear. You’ll learn how both show up in the body and why the holidays amplify them.

We bring the Enneagram into focus with practical, compassionate insights for all nine types. 

A surprising lesson lands through a spoon-bending exercise: when we stop trying to control outcomes and let energy move through us, service becomes lighter and more effective. We pair story with tools—breathwork, appreciation, sensory grounding, and small acts of service—to bring you back to the only moment that matters. As the season swells with comparison and urgency, we return to what lasts: laughter in the kitchen, help freely offered, and the courage to be seen as we are.

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Tabitha MacDonald is an Intuitive Coach and Bodyworker committed to helping people overcome pain fast so they can experience the love, success, freedom, and fulfillment they truly desire.

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SPEAKER_00:

I never define myself as a greedy person. In fact, I consider myself quite generous. I devote my life to helping people feel better in their bodies and their minds and to reconnect them to the truth of who they are. That's that's basically what I spend all my free time thinking about doing as how I make money, that's how I serve. Um, and I consider that, you know, quite generous to sit with people in pain and to help them reclaim their power and, you know, in their bodies, their emotions, their love life, whatever area that is. But my business coach asked us not long ago when we were doing his Mind Your Money program, which was really looking at your relationship with money, to be generous. Um, one of the challenges that day was to look at where greediness is getting in the way of our businesses. And I was like, not me. I like pro bono the crap out of my work. And you guessed it. Today we're talking about greed, happy holidays. So I'm gonna do a 12-part series around uh Christmas time this year. Uh it's 2025. And today's topic is the gift of generosity. So hold on tight, my friends. Uh, we are going to be exploring your generosity. So back to my story, I was challenged to be generous. And if you listen to my private podcast, and if you don't, I'll put a link below. I go into a lot more depth on a lot of the kind of weird and woo-woo stuff that I do. Um, but for the sake of today's conversation, we were challenged to be more generous. And my son and I had an appointment at a blood bank to, no, not a blood bank. It was um those places where you have your blood drawn. Sorry, I'm coming off of being sick. And um I hate going to the hospital. I can't stand it. I I can't stand it. I just see so much suffering. I see so much um disease that could have been prevented with different lifestyle choices. Like, I I see so it's just to me, it's it's I hate going to the hospital. So we had to go to the hospital to get his blood drawn. And um, I'm already anxious because we're late because I got the address wrong. And we pull in, and there's this lady, or I didn't even know it was a lady at the time, but there was this car like going in and out of the same parking spot like 20 times. And I'm like, oh, we are late. We're you're gonna be later. We're gonna miss the appointment. I already hate being here. I don't even know where I'm going. My son probably thinks I'm an idiot. And um, I had this whole story in my head, and all then I all I heard was James's voice say, be more generous. And so I pulled around her and pulled into the parking spot next to her. And I looked over and it was this older lady, and I looked at my son, and I'm like, that's why they should make people retest for their license. And I immediately regretted it. And I went into generosity instead, and I said, hold on a second, I don't think she knows how to get out of that parking spot. And I got out of the car and I walked over to her window and I knew she would be embarrassed already. Because if you've ever backed in and out of a parking spot, hello, pregnancy brain, more than 10 times, you know how embarrassing that experience is. I've done it when I was pregnant. I've gotten lost when I was pregnant, but that's like a whole different thing. So I get out of the car and I look in the window and I and I just say, Oh my gosh, these spots are so hard to get in and out of. And you don't have a backup camera. Can I help you? And she started saying, Oh yeah, I I don't know what happened. I just I can't seem to get my car to fit into this spot. And I have an appointment, and I'm like, yeah, no, no, no, no. It happens to all of us. It happens to all of us. It's happened to me many times, especially when I lived in England. I couldn't parallel park to save my life. Like, I had to have people come out and park the car for me. I know, I know how it feels. And I look and her tires are balding, and she doesn't have a backup camera, and you know, she doesn't have the basic things that would make this whole experience easier for her. And I don't know why she's at the hospital. You know, she could have been visiting a sick friend, she could have just lost her husband. Who knows? I I didn't ask. I just wanted to make her feel as comfortable as possible and help get her out of that parking spot so that she could, you know, move on in her day. And my son, um, he gets out of the car without me even asking. And he goes over to the side and he starts directing her on one side, and I'm on the other side holding up traffic, and I'm like now a traffic cop. And in that moment, I realized I could have taught my son two lessons that day. I could have taught him to be greedy with time, or I could have taught him to be generous with compassion and generous with just being of service. I chose, thank you, James, to be generous with service. And I don't think, you know, when we're in a rush, when we're busy, when we're in our own crap, we don't always stop to think about what our children are learning from us and what we're learning with them as well. I didn't think that I was greedy at all, but I was 100% being greedy with my judgments of this woman without really even looking at what her experience was. Greed is defined as an intense and selfish desire for something, especially wealth, power, food, or possessions, more than is needed or deserved. I can be greedy with space if I'm in a big room and I just want more space for myself because I don't like people being in my bubble sometimes. Um, but what it really is is like it's intense. It's an intense emotion. It's very self-focused. It's me, me, me, me, me. Uh, and it's more than is needed. Um, you can see greed at Christmas. Hello, did you remember the Harry Potter where um the fat kid was like, I want more presents. Dudley, I think what's his name. Um, and it's driven by this desire, but the desire turns into like this compulsion for more. And it's a very active energy. It's it's like, I want more, I need more, I need more. We can be greedy in love, we can be greedy in our relationships, we can be greedy in wealth. That's the most obvious one. Um, and that's not the one I want to talk about because I think that we're all greedy, and that I think that when we don't explore our shadow of greediness, uh it just spreads more greediness. And, you know, we always blame the wealthy. Oh, look, it's their fault. They're so greedy. But greed is not just for the wealthy, my friends. Greed is for all of us. And um, you know, I can be very greedy with my time. I'm very greedy with my time. And um I'm also, you know, obviously greedy with my judgments, that poor lady in the car. Um, and then miserliness is greed's other friend. And this is an excessive unwillingness to spend, give, or share extreme frugality or stinginess. Now, I did not think I was miserly until I went to my conference last week, uh, which was Business by Design. It's my entrepreneurial program uh conference. And as I'm sitting there, I decided to sit in the back and watch this time. Because the last time I went, I bought into the next level coaching program and immediately spent a year in shame and comparison, and I was unwilling to be coachable, and I did not take advantage of the opportunities. To be fair, I also had two head injuries, so I really could not process numbers, and um, my emotions were completely unchecked because of head injuries. So there was a valid reason why. But miserliness is unwillingness, withholding, fear of loss, and a restriction. It's a very restricted, contracted energy. So when you're thinking about, you know, spending or giving for other people, do you feel an openness or do you feel a restriction? And I'm not talking about money. We're not gonna talk about money. We're talking about love, affection, energy, uh, attention, time, uh appreciation, gratitude, things like that. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna take a different look at greed today. Um, because I don't think most of the people listening to this are actually wealthy, or maybe you are, and if you are, you should join my coaching program. Just kidding. My coaching program is available to everyone, that's why I keep it at a very affordable rate. Um, but uh, because I don't think personal transformation should cost you an arm and a leg or put you in debt. Uh, so greed says there isn't enough yet, so I need more. Greed is driven by an insatiable hunger and it reaches outward, it accelerates, it pushes. Greed can be a great way to get you moving, right? Like, oh man, I really want a cookie. I'm gonna get to the gym so I can balance out my calories. It can be a positive. But what we're really looking at today is when is it a bad thing? And when is it actually, you know, creating more harm than good? Because greed often hides under excitement, anticipation. It can also hide under anxiety, fear of missing out. You know, if you spend any time on social media, and I mean any time at all, or even driving around in your car anywhere, you're going to experience unconscious greed. Because all marketing and sales is happening underneath your conscious awareness. And it is all of the time, not some of the time, it is all of the time. It is everywhere you go. It is when you are driving and you see billboards that you're not looking at, when you see food bill, you know, buildings, restaurants, also known as restaurants, when you see that, there is you are constantly being marketed to. And then your primal need to obtain more kicks in. It's biology. So that's greed. Miserliness is there isn't enough, so I can't let go. This is basically scarcity. Miserly is driven by fear. It pulls inward, it slows you down, it clamps down, your nervous system goes into freeze mode or collapse. You get this tightness in the gut, in your hips, in your throat. You have shallow breathing, you start hoarding, hoarding energy, hoarding money, time, emotional availability. You start saying things like, you become withdrawn, you want to control everything, and you probably have more resentment. And you're doing silent scorekeeping. Well, I did all of this for you. What did you do for me? Right. And this comes from not enough. And when we're looking at these two, it's important to look at them this time of year because it's so obvious, it's so in your face right now. It's Christmas time, like greed and miserliness are at their peak. I would call this the peak season. Okay. So, you know, I was even looking online at like some videos of, you know, families and how they spend Christmas together. And I immediately went into like, oh, I wish I could go back and do my kids' childhood a little bit different. And then I thought, no, you don't. You didn't have social media to compare yourselves to when you were raising your children. Thank God for that. Because I can't even imagine what it's like to in today's world being a parent, comparing yourself to everybody who looks like they have the perfect family online, and later you find out they're all serial killers. But, you know, that's because I've been watching too many murder shows lately. So, what I want to talk to you about is the Enneogram. Why does the Enneagram and how does the Enneogram give us uh our strategies for dealing with unconscious greed and how it helps us understand what our strategies are because we all have strategies. I don't like to call them triggers or like um bad behaviors. I like to call them strategies that were developed when probably you were young. And there are strategies that either work for you or there's strategies that don't work for you. And they're either gonna help you align with what you want or they're gonna keep you away from what you want. And we we need to take a look at these strategies with honesty so that we can change if we want to, you know, if we want to grow and evolve. Like I was sitting in that conference last week and I was watching this production instead of being in it. And I did that intentionally because I did not want to be influenced by my emotions to buy something that I wasn't going to do or follow through with. And as a type seven, I can have a lot of FOMO. And if I feel like time is running out or, you know, I'm gonna miss out, I'm gonna buy, and I don't think logically, it shuts off my logical brain completely. And I go straight into I'm not gonna be left behind and I'll do whatever it takes. And it might be something I'm not ready for, it might be too fast for me. It might maybe I didn't have the foundational desire yet to do the thing that I just bought. Like I can be very impulsive that way. So each Enneagram type has their way that greed and miserliness gets in their way. So we're gonna start with Enneagram one. This is the perfectionist. They have agreed for perfection and miserly with the heart. Enneagram ones tend to be hypercritical, and especially in their relationships, their relationships with themselves, with the people in their lives and the world. It doesn't end with you know them criticizing their loved ones because the critic inside is way worse about what they feel about themselves than it is projected out. So whatever they're projecting is a hundred times worse on the inside and on the self-reflection. They can also be very judgy about the world, right? Very critical about what's happening and maybe not take any action in alignment with it, which actually just breeds more criticism. So their miserly shows up emotionally. Uh, they withhold their true feelings, plaster on a polite smile, and silently seethe with resentment inside. That false smile fools no one, my friend. And relationships, this turns into a relentless search for more, more cleanliness, more organization, more correctness, more perfection, more, you know, more of perfection, of an outwardly appearance that's just simply not true. This gets projected onto their children, their partners. It gets projected onto their, you know, how they present online. Maybe you see their perfect Christmas, and perhaps inside nobody's having fun at all because they needed to take 822 pictures in order for the per perfect picture to be present itself. And underneath all of it, it's, and this is no judgment to you, my friend, if you're a type one. I love type ones. They have so much capability of bringing justice into the world. Um, and I think that, you know, they have an ability to see what is right and what is wrong in every situation, and their intuitive genius is actually so impressive and um underutilized. And what ones are really longing for underneath is intimacy and connection. And that suppressed anger that they pretend isn't there with a smile blocks access to the heart. And it it's like you can't let the mess exist, you can't let the emotions exist, and you can't let love be imperfect, which love, my friend, is always imperfect. That is the nature of love. That is why there is no perfect love, because love in and of itself is imperfect, and that is what makes it so real, and that's the thing you crave most, is the thing that you want to control, and that's just not possible. So, my Enneagram two friends, this greediness is very different. Um, they want to give greedily, and they they actually give, give, give, give, give, give, give with this underlying unconscious agenda. If I give you enough and meet your needs, you'll finally figure out what my needs are, and then you'll meet them for me because I don't know what they are. And that's actually kind of greedy uh because it's selfish, right? It's like I'm not gonna take the time to figure out what my needs are or to learn how to express them, my zealiness. Um, and I'm gonna give you so much because I know what your needs are, but I'm not actually gonna take the time to figure out what my needs are so that I can meet them myself. And it's a really interesting kind of like backwards take on greediness, because it's actually like this greediness of expectation for the other person. And you know, it's it's really that you just don't know what your needs are, and you're hoping somebody else will figure it out for you. And that's your unwillingness to sit down with yourself and go, actually, what are my needs? If I was allowed to put my attention on myself, what do I need? What do I need in this moment? What do I need in my life? What do I need? And I ask you to do a little inner work and do some self-discovery. Whenever you're over-delivering for someone else, what is that you need? And take a moment before you, you know, sign up for another meal delivery service for you know, someone in need and ask yourself, what do I need right now? And if I was able to meet that need, how would I spend my time instead of going into complete burnout trying to make everyone else feel good, hoping that one day they'll see what I need and give me the same thing in return. Your intuitive genius is really to being able to see what people need. Your shadow is not being able to see your own needs. Enneagram three, these um wonderful achievement-oriented people are very greedy with success and goals. They equate worth with achievement and provision. In relationships, this can create a disconnection. They crave intimacy and nurturing, but they structure love like a performance metric. Love becomes scheduled. Friday night, one hour of cuddling, success achieved. Where's my gold star? Do I get a raise, a bonus? Like, is there what's the success metric in this relationship? And honestly, that structure can actually help them relax. So if you're married to a type three, if you have a type three in your life, a child, any of them, and you're craving more time with them, remember they're greedy with their time, but they're very greedy with achievement. So, you know, type threes, where are you unwilling to let go of your need for achievement and success and just simply be present and to know that you're You're just loved for being present. And that's what really people want from you is you don't have to be producing. You don't have to be hitting goals or targets. You can slow down and just be present and allow the connection with the people around you and appreciate all of the success that you have already accomplished this year. Because I bet you've probably accomplished a thousand times more than the average person. And it still doesn't feel like it's enough as we close out the year. And that is your intuitive genius is success. And, you know, it's being able to look for opportunities of success everywhere you go. But that can also be like the source of unintentional greediness of, oh, once I get success, I just want more success and more success. And then you finally hit the pinnacle of success and you realize it didn't mean anything at all. Because what you really wanted was love and connection and to just be valued for who you are. And no matter how successful you are, you'll you'll never have that feeling if you don't take time now to build those relationships and that love and connection that is what you really actually, underneath it all, crave. Type fours. Sometimes we can be a little bit greedy with our sadness and also with our own emotions, feeling like everyone should know what they are at all times, and that everyone should want to live in our feelings with us. This is a type four protection prison. And a lot of the times in conversations, I've seen type fours that come through my programs. They they can be greedy with intellect, and I'll explain that. It's more like I want to be unique and I want to be separate, but I desperately want to belong at the same time. But my need to be unique is more than my need to belong. So I'm going to almost like be greedy with compassion and kindness, and I'm going to try to set you up to fail in our conversation so that I can still be unique. But I also secretly want to prove that you're a liar and that you're you're not unique and authentic. So I'm going to push all your buttons. Why is that greedy? Because you're not having compassion for the emotional depth that that person is ready or willing to share with you. And miserly, you're withholding your ability to simply be in joy with people and to be in their emotions instead of your own. So that's the irony of the fours, is they're probably the most intuitive on the Enneagram, but their need for to be different, to be authentic, blocks the thing that they really want, which is connection and love and to be seen for who they really are, not for the masks that they put on. And I think type fours have a deep longing, which creates probably more loneliness than than they need. And the thing that you really crave is connection and belonging, because that's what we all crave. It's a human, it's a human, it's a basic human need is for connection and um to be seen, to be witnessed, and to be vulnerable with other people. Vulnerability is not trauma dumping. It's not, you know, telling and projecting your intense emotions on other people because you're not being generous with their space, their time, and their feelings, right? Like what they're experiencing in the world. And that's where we really need to hold space for am I trauma dumping? And is that, isn't that kind of a type of greed? Like you will join me in my pain because my pain's the only thing that matters. And I'm not judging you because I've been very guilty of doing this. When I was in the deepest part of my shadow as a seven, I was very much like a four. And I see the four now a lot more clearly through my own shadow work and through my own journey. And that depth, oh man, that's what's your genius. That depth, your ability to go deep is your genius. That's your intuitive genius. And we also want to be able to embrace the joy of the season. Like look for the joy all around you. Don't look for the scarcity and the loneliness. Look for the appreciation of people who actually do amazing, beautiful things this time of year. And step into the joy of the people who are actually doing things that matter. And I mean, that is really what helped me come out of my scarcity mindset was witnessing people who were doing amazing things in the world and saying, how can I do that too? Heneogram fives, I'm gonna call you the misers, miserliness of the miserliness. And I can say this with love because in a healthy state, I'm a very much a type five. And um, I will just say um type fives are the masters of miserliness. It's time, energy, emotional bandwidth, knowledge. Everything is rationed in relationships. This can feel like emotional withdrawal, minimal connection. Like you have this deep meaning in connection with another person, and then you immediately withdraw as if they're gonna take too much from you. And then the other person's like, What happened? I thought we were finally connecting. And then you like, where'd you go? And then they actually feel more lonely than before. And um, in your mind, you're like, Well, I gave you that. Now I'm good for the year, right? Like, I feel tapped. Um, and so it could be that someone has asked you to feel too much or to feel too much closeness, to feel like they've put too much of a demand on your heart and what you were capable of experiencing. Um, this can cause you to shut down. And this isn't cruelty. I want you to know that this is not cruelty, it's a protection strategy that was created usually between the ages of birth and eight years old. And what happens is they go super introvert and they just want to go and study and learn and be in their own world because this is hard for them to be that emotionally drained by other people. So if you love a five, I just want you to know that, you know, be patient with them. If you're having a conflict with a five, please be generous with them because they will take what you say and they'll walk away and need to process it by themselves. Not because they can't sit with you in the conflict, but because they really want to think about what you've said and process it. And they're a little bit slower when it comes to processing other people's big feelings. So, you know, if you push them into a fight with you, they're gonna get into a fight with you, but it's not gonna be them, it's gonna be their wounded self, right? Not their higher self. So um, fives can be very greedy with their time, and they often get stuck in business. Like if you're an entrepreneur, because they're not actually using the knowledge and applying it, or they just want to keep learning what they want to learn and not learn the thing that they need to learn to grow their business and to align with their soul's mission. And that could also be true in relationships, like maybe they want to go learn this other thing instead of learning the thing that they need to learn in order to improve their quality of relationships. Like maybe they need to learn better communication skills instead of learning um, you know, 28 texts to flirt with your wife or husband so that you don't actually have to do it in person. I don't know what you're out there learning, but that that's just, you know, you you might not be learning the thing that you need to learn. And this is where greed can get in your way because you're such a good learner. You're so good at it, and you're so good at educating yourself and you're so good at obtaining knowledge, but let's not hoard it and be greedy with it. Let's share it with the world and you know, also examine am I learning the things that's gonna help me, the the things that are going to help me, or am I just relearning the things I already know? And I know as a body worker, like I keep wanting to just take more classes on the human body. And my higher self is like, no, I need you to take classes on narcissistic abuse recovery. I need you to take classes on sales and marketing, I need you to take classes on these other things. And when I'm in migraine, I'm like, no, I just want to go, like, why can't I just go study human anatomy? And it's always like, no, because that's not the thing that's gonna help bring your true purpose and your mission onto the planet. You're hoarding knowledge and you're actually withholding because of it. So, you know, that is a that is part of, you know, I think growing is looking at all of these different chest like shadow aspects and going, oh, where am I withholding? Where am I being greedy? Where am I being miserly? And am I willing to shift that so that I can grow and so that I can align with my higher, my highest path of potential and things like that. So Enneagram six. You have agreed for anxiety, my friend. Believe it or not, I know that's a strange, strange statement, but your anxiety gives you energy. And a lot of the time when you're feeling a sense of calm, you'll start doom scrolling, looking for the latest conspiracy theory or how AI is going to take over your brain. Because this negative certainty actually makes you feel a little bit safer in the world. So I know that's a strange thing, and for all of the other types out there, this is unique to the type six. So you, your anxiety gives you energy. Your focus on what could go wrong actually gives you more energy today. So, but it can then, because you're then once you get into that greediness for it, you actually become so hyper-focused on what could go wrong, you're going to freeze instead of movement. So, what's the cost of this? Because you you miss what's right now. Anxiety steals your future from you. That's what it does, it steals your future. Um, because you're actually creating a negative vision of your future on the fly. It's like what you focus on is what you create. So if you focus on all the things that could go wrong, you're probably not focusing on anything that is right right now. And you're missing the present moment. And the present moment is all that we really have in our lives. It's right now. Like, even you giving me your attention right now is you in the present moment. Whether you're driving or taking care of the kids or you know, at work and I'm just playing around in the background, present moment right now is all you really have. Because you don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow. You can think you know, you can have stress about what might happen tomorrow. You could think the world is gonna fall apart at the end of the year. Don't you remember 1999? Hello, we all thought the banking systems were gonna crash, and guess what? It didn't. It didn't crash. It was fine. And, you know, every year people f make money on feeding on our fear, and fear creates anxiety, which can get you energized, right? Give you energy. Like, hello, when your your nervous system goes up into that anxious state, suddenly I can lift a car off of a small child. And, you know, there's a reason for it. You'll drain your adrenal glands and have nothing left for yourself if you are constantly in anxiety. You need to learn how to come into a state of calm and appreciate the present moment. And I will say breath work, tapping, um, pulling my thoughts back. Sometimes I do this exercise where I just see my thoughts turn into feathers and they just kind of gently glide down and go into my heart. If you're in my membership, uh teach presence a lot because this is something that a lot of people struggle with, and stress is a killer, literally a killer. It is killing people. I I don't know the current statistics, but when I was researching it recently, lifestyle illness was I think 80% of the illness that is plaguing humanity right now. It's high. And I mean, lifestyle illness is the things that we could avoid by lifestyle choices. So type six is your anxiety is is can get out of control, pull it back and be in the present moment. Appreciate what's going right right now, be generous and gracious for all of the problems that you have that you get to fix, right? Like I was doing that the other day, because I have a six-wing, right? So I was like, how can I be um very present and appreciative? Because I think appreciation is one of the antidotes to greed, for you know, the debt I took on in order to grow my business. And you know, when I started looking around at this room of people, some at this entrepreneur conference, I'm like, oh, you uh I had this deep gratitude for the opportunity to be in that room, to be able to be in that room with these people, these these some high achievers, some low achievers, like the whole spectrum of people who want to make the world a better place. And I had this overwhelming gratitude for the opportunity of being there. And it took away the anxiety of making the decision will I join next level, will I not join next level? Because I just came into a deep appreciation for the opportunities that I have. And I think for the type sixes, appreciation, gratitude, that brings you back into the current moment. And you just look around you. Like one of the tools I learned was look around the room and notice all the things that are yellow, take a deep breath in, look around the room and notice all of the things that are blue and take a deep breath in. And you can do that to bring yourself out of that, you know, hyperfixated on what could go wrong, um, which is you know withholding joy from the present moment. And it's really living in that chaotic energy. Any Ram sevens, my friends. I love you. We are so greedy with pleasure, we are so greedy with passion and possibility. And I will say that that that reflects in our food choices, the experiences that we want to create, that we crave, our passion for whatever we're obsessed about today, um, for connection, for stimulation. And there is so much never enough in us that it's kind of sad, actually. Um, we want more excitement, more intimacy, more joy, more, more, more, more, more. Type sevens are like the gluttons of the Enneagram, which is basically greed. I want more, more, more, more, more, more, more. It's never enough, never enough, never enough. And I will say most of that stems from avoiding the painful emotion. Like, I think it was in November. I started realizing it was drinking a lot more. And I was like, that's weird. I kind of shifted that habit a while ago. And so I created a recode to help reduce um overdrinking. And I put it on YouTube, so it's on YouTube. I'll put a link in the show notes. But um it wouldn't shift. And I was like, oh, why isn't my recode working? And it was because I wasn't addressing the habit, the thing that was driving the habit. I was addressing the habit and not the root cause. And for me, the root cause was loneliness. I was avoiding this, like, oh man, for those of you who are going through emptiness syndrome, I had no idea how hard it would be to transition from full-time mothering to living alone and being single at 50. I did not know how hard that would be. I was ill prepared for it. Just like when you have a baby and you don't know how hard it will be because you won't sleep and you'll smell like breast milk all the time and your body starts doing weird things that you're ill-prepared for. I would say 50 is the same way if your kids are flying the coop. It, it has been the hardest thing for me to go through. Um, and I I always say in my head, like, oh, it would be so much easier if I was married. But that's not actually true because maybe my husband wouldn't want to grow with me. And I would be wanting to grow right now and I might be stuck. So that's actually, you know, just a lie that I've been telling myself for the last several years. However, I digress. Um when we're like at a portal of change, there's pain that comes up, right? And that can be a portal of change in your career, it could be a portal of change in society, it can be a portal of change for anything. There's pain that's going to come up and to be asked to witness and released. And since type sevens really don't like to sit with pain, other people's pain is fine. Our own, it's like, oh no, I'm fine. Um, we don't want to sit in our own discomfort long enough to hear what's underneath the urge or the frequency or the craving in order to get to the other side of it. And in the process of sitting with your discomfort comes so much depth and growth. It's like everything you ever wanted is on the other side of that uncomfortable feeling. And there's more intimacy, more joy, more connection. This relationship with yourself that is so powerful and so beautiful. Like now, when I see my higher self at first, I was like, you, like, uh, um, I don't know you. And now I'm like, she's the most glorious, like generous like being. And I'm like, I hope one day I'm like you. Like, and she's like, you are me, but like, okay, you're also a little bit strange. That's okay. You're a seven. Um, so at its core, like honestly, our greediness for pleasure is this fear of being trapped in pain. And generosity for a seven is staying when it's uncomfortable. It's slowing down and not letting your fear of being late or letting your son down make you stop and actually look at the woman next to you and say, actually, what do you need and how can I help you? If I wasn't worried about time, like, how can I help other people in need? How can I stop looking at how I might be late or how can I control time? And how can I be present and appreciate the time that I have right now? Because I actually think a lot of sevens don't know this, but their relationship with time is one of the weirdest things that really doesn't get talked about enough. And it's this fear of there's just not enough time to get everything done. Because you have this beautiful, exciting mind and it wants to do everything. And in order to do everything, you have to have more time. So your your greed comes in like looking for more time, but it can create an overwhelm that then makes you go into discomfort, which then makes you actually kind of unfortunately destroy time by over drinking, overeating, over Netflixing, over, you know, all of the things. And then you end up getting sick and you lose time. So I'm speaking from a very personal. Personal experience right now. So generosity for a seven looks like letting one experience be enough, being present to all of the feelings that you're having in the moment and allowing that depth to be there without being so afraid of the depth of the emotion that you flee into the next one because that's the thing you were chasing in the first place. So as I'm like sitting at this conference and we're doing this spoon-bending activity where we take a spoon and we learn how to turn it into um, we we connect into the matter of it and we can bend it with our minds, basically. And, you know, you are using your fingers, so there's fingers too, but you you do feel the metal like melt, and then all of a sudden the spoon just twists. If you've never seen The Matrix, go watch it. It's where the uh guru that Neo finds um shows him that you know we are all matter and that we can control matter with our intention. And the first time I did this, I was very afraid of success, and that and that is what came up. And as soon as the spoon started bending, I felt myself block it, and it was my fear of success. This time I knew I could bend the spoon. And I was sitting there and I was playing with the spoon and I could feel it bending, and I was like, okay, cool, this is gonna work again. I'm excited, I'm just gonna let go and surrender. And I just felt like light come through me and transform the spoon. And I started thinking about all the people I loved and transferring that into the spoon. And um then I started getting curious because sevens are very curious by nature. And I started thinking, like, what if I could get the spoon to do this really cool thing that I want it to do? And I literally saw a vision of like a Christ-like figure stand in front of me and said to me, You will you always do this. You you figure it out, and then you want to contort it and control it. And that's when you stop letting, you know, the divine flow through you. And this is not a problem. You were designed this way to be very curious and to want to figure out how everything works. And that's what your geniuses, but that's also what's blocking you. Can you say this now? And I just kind of laughed and I was like, oh, I can say this now. And the generosity was really just letting the energy flow through me and not thinking that I had to do anything about it. Like I when I'm doing energy work or when I'm doing recodes, I just let it flow through me. And I get out of the way and I just let whatever needs to come through for the groups I work with or for the individual clients I work with flow through me. I let the knowledge flow through me, and I don't try to control anything. And it's when I'm actually in my genius, is when I just step out of the way and I let everything flow the way that it was supposed to flow. As soon as I start trying to control, then everything falls apart. So that was a lesson for me in the spoon-bending thing. It was like really being generous with my energy and just allowing it to flow and not withholding it and pulling it inward, thinking that there's not enough energy in the universe to fuel everyone. And maybe it's sometimes I'm just the conduit for the energy, and it doesn't deplete me because it just flows through me. I know a lot of people when they do energy work, they say things like, Oh, I get really depleted, and I ask, like, are you is it coming from you or is it going through you? Because there's a huge distinction. One will make you greedy afterwards where you don't want to do a lot of energy work, and the other one leaves you both feeling completely energized, and nothing is depleted at all. Um, so but that also comes with a depth of understanding of who my higher self is and how to work with that energy to help other people. In relationships, it means doing introspective work. Where am I being greedy with time? Where am I being withholding appreciation and gratitude for what other people have done instead of holding them to an expectation that they don't even know I'm holding them to? Um, and where am I being greedy with love? Like, because I think sevens crave intimacy so much, but they can be very greedy with it, uh, mostly because they're afraid of it and you know, really being vulnerable with other people. Okay, so Enneagram eights uh can be very greedy with power and control and intensity. Uh, they want loyalty, truth, and strength, and they want it now. And in relationships, this can feel overwhelming or dominating, even when the intention is protection. So the eight has this almost like miserliness of I'll make sure nobody hurts what's mine, right? And that could be their own heart and their own people, without looking at the bigger thing that's happening around them. And, you know, I would say if we're just looking back at the definition of greed, um, which is um, you know, being, you know, what are you, it's like this action, right? It's like this, this forward energy. So it's reaching outwardly. So where are they trying to control everything instead of being present with who everyone is, right? Where are they doing to create more power instead of being love and vulnerable with people? And I think like sevens, eights tend to be very driven by their this insatiable hunger as well. And I think sevens and eights are, you know, probably two of the highest ones for like overindulging in things, especially this time of year, right? Because you're gonna be activated by oh, this you know, Mocha thing is only out this time of year. I need to get one every day. Um, things like that. You're gonna feel more tension in your body. Eights have a huge need to release energy from their body. So the greed is gonna come through in this way of like, as soon as their greed is activated, they're gonna want to take action right now, instead of looking at the trigger and going, is that what I actually want? Or am I is somebody getting in there unconsciously and activating my need for power? And then miserliness, remember, is it's an inward thing. So are people asking me to be in my feelings? Um, and I don't want to be. So am I withholding, am I retracting my love, my emotions, my vulnerability, and being busy doing other things so that I can avoid feeling deep intimacy with the people who are begging for me to be intimate with them, to be emotionally available, to be present, to not try to solve their problems, but just to be with them and to love them. Um eights are, oh my gosh, they're powerful, powerful people. You're more powerful when your feelings are allowed to be present and you can be with other people's feelings as well. Enneagram nines. Your miserliness is this withholding of you, my friend. Simply you. Um, you have this unconscious pattern that says you don't matter. And when that happens is you go into this safe of inner protection where you withhold you and you simply reflect back to people who they are, and instead of actually letting them know who you are. And with this, you're withholding your truth, you minimize your own needs, and you merge with people instead of engaging with people. And people love you because you're basically them, right? So, like they say, oh, this is the most easygoing person on the planet. Um, they're so easy to get along with, they're so easy. But it's only it's not because you're not easy, it's because you're actually not being you, you're just merging with the people around you. And so this holiday season, you could be completely drained, especially if you're around a lot of people you haven't seen in a while, and you're trying to merge with too many people. Um, you're afraid of conflict. So instead of addressing the deep um, I would call it suppressed rage and anger that's inside of you, you just mirror and match what other people want you to be so that you don't actually have to address conflict in a healthy way. Now, where your miserly is, is your unwillingness to learn how to have healthy conflict. And if you have someone who loves you enough to challenge you to have healthy conflict, and I am talking from a personal thing with my daughter and I, because we had a huge conflict last week. And I was like, I don't want to fight with you. I want to teach you how to have healthy conflict with me so that we can get to the other side of it, having a deeper understanding of who we are as adults. I don't need you to be who I think, who you think I want you to be. In fact, I want you to just simply know that you matter and that that who you are matters to me, the real you, not who you think I need to see, not you being like me, but like you, your true self. And, you know, it we had a lot of conflict, and her avoidance to conflict came up really big, and you know, it ended up with a lot of projection. And I was in a lot of self-reflection too that week because I went into the whole trip with this intention of self-reflection. And I realized this is normal for mothers and daughters, especially mothers of adult daughters who are, you know, learning how to adult. And creating this new relationship with an adult child is a very unique experience. I'll just say that for all of you who are transitioning to adulting parents, um, adulting adults, parenting adults. That's what I was trying to say. And then um, so Enneagram nines, and this is true even when they're teenagers, is they they're afraid to take up space. They they don't want to speak their discomfort, so they deny it. And you know, they numb out. And so you'll actually see them dissociate completely and they won't be there. And they'll be like, I don't know what you're talking about, I don't have any thoughts at all. And it's like, no, that's dissociation. That's not that's not meditation, that's dissociation. There's a difference. So what the nine can do is, you know, engage with people and learn how to have conflict with someone and resolve it. Otherwise, it just gets stored up in your body and turns into disease. It turns into gut health and um irregular bowel issues, all kinds of body disease for the type 9, more than anyone, I think, is it's going to express itself as a disease in your body later in life. Learn how to have a healthy conflict with someone and how to do it from a place of authenticity. You're gonna appreciate that skill set later. And I would say, you know, that's where you're gonna be generous, is to be yourself with people, to allow people to see the real you, the one that you hide, um, and to choose to engage with them, like generosity and engagement and presence, uh, instead of withholding the most valuable part of you, which is your authentic self, the true you. Um, so I hope this was helpful. This is my holiday holiday generosity episode, um, which honestly, right now, this time of year, is the best time to look at am I being greedy or am I being generous? And I really want you to challenge yourself. This is not about money. I'm talking about time, love, attention, the things that matter. I mean, that really matter. Because when we get to our deathbeds, right at the end of our life, we're not really thinking about all the money that we collected or all of the gifts under the tree. I'm thinking about the giant saran wrap ball that I did one year for my family and the joy they all had on their faces as they were trying to unwrap it with oven mitts. I'm thinking about the smiles, the connection, the magic. I'm thinking about, you know, the mashed potatoes that went wrong, the things that make life funny, that make life worth living. I wasn't thinking about how many socks I got. I'm thinking about the look on my kids' faces when they ran down the stairs and, you know, Santa came and the twinkle in their eyes and the knowing that the world was magic. I'm thinking about the people I get to help. I'm thinking about the love that I get to experience. I never think about the gifts and the stuff. Because to me, generosity is the experiences that we get to share with people. Generosity is the love and the connection and the community that we build. And, you know, allowing people to support you and allowing yourself to support others and feel generous with intimacy and connection. And that's what I want you all to just think about this time of year is is your heart open? Is your energy flowing? Is are you feeling stabilized in love and relationships? Is are you feeling like you can give from a grounded place? Or are you sacrificing people pleasing and giving until you feel completely empty, burned out, depleted, and angry? Because, you know, December 27th is gonna roll around and the hype of the holiday shopping season is gonna be over and the presents are gonna be unwrapped and unfold and it was it worth it. Did you feel present? Did you experience the magic, the joy, and the blessings and appreciation for everything you have around you? Or do you feel like you're about to open up your credit card statement and go, oh crap, now I gotta worry about that. How am I gonna hustle hard enough to pay that off? What do I have to compromise or give up? And there's no shame in it. Whatever your choice is, I hope you feel good about it and that you appreciate the experiences that you're creating right now. And my generous gift is because I have a generous gift at the end of all of this, my membership is going up to a higher price in the new year. And I am doing a$1 trial right now. And if you sign up for the from the link in the show notes, um you'll get your first month for a dollar. And then for all of 2026, you will only pay$27 a month, which is insane when I look at the market research on what memberships go for. Now, in Summer Tribe, what we're gonna be focusing on next year is learning how to use your intuition to create more higher self-alignment, which basically means you're aligned with your true higher self, with who you are. You will know yourself and you'll be able to work through the old story and actually make lasting change. And it's interesting as I look back at the last four years since I found the superconscious work, um, how much I've changed and how much I didn't realize I changed until I got into old situations and old paradigms, and I'm a new person. And, you know, I often have to hold grace for the people around me who don't know I'm a new person yet. And then I also have to hold space and compassion for myself for the changes I made. And, you know, as I was sitting at BBD Live, which was my entrepreneur conference, and I saw this Christ-like figure in front of me, and he asked me, Is this what you want? Because, you know, you need to learn some new skills in order to grow the online business that you have. Are you willing to let go of how you think it needs to be done to be coachable and actually put the effort into learning online sales and marketing and to be consistent with it? And I actually sat with that question because it was a great question. And I said, you know what? I am ready. I am ready to learn it. I'm ready to be coachable, and I'm ready to step out of my comfort zone and grow next year. So I said yes and I joined. And I didn't have any fear, I didn't have any um, what was it? The feeling I had in the past was this like FOMO, I better do it now or I'm gonna run out of time. I didn't have any of that. Intuition is like this calm presence. It just felt grounded. And I felt like it was just the right thing to do. And I and I didn't question it. And I'm sure I'll question it as the charges start coming in on my credit card and I'm like, oh my gosh, was this worth the investment? The answer is yes. So, Tabitha, if you're listening to this in the future, the answer was yes. And you just have to do one thing at a time and follow your own intuition and be coachable. And I think that, you know, that is what I hope for a lot of you who might be ready for growth next year. Is, you know, if you're ready, the the program that I've created is actually really good. And I don't often appreciate the work that my past self has put into all of it, um, or the transformations that we get for people. And then I get really amazing text messages from my clients who say, Oh my God, I just listened to this. And it totally shifted my whole perspective of the planet and who I am within it. And thank you for creating this. And those are the best, right? Because it's like, oh, this hard work I've been putting in makes a difference. And, you know, I want to make a difference and stop being so greedy with my knowledge and to reach more people, make a bigger impact on the planet in 2026 because I'm ready and I'm excited about it actually. And I hope that you're excited too. So if you know someone who wants to make a change in their life, and it could be in their health, their money, um, their relationship status, in how they interact with their family, their kids, their community, um, send them my way. I'm gonna put the link down below. It will expire on December 31st, 2025 at midnight, just like Cinderella and her little pumpkin. Um, because this is actually a very short um trial that I'm doing to see if it works for marketing and sales because I'm gonna have some fun with it next year. And, you know,$27 a month. I mean, I that's less than a dollar a day. Like seriously, you can't even get coffee for that much. So come check it out. It's only a dollar. And uh I would like to see you there. And, you know, the cool thing is, is whether or not you think you're ready to heal or not, you can do it in private. And I think that's why I created it was because there was a time I needed privacy when I was healing. And I didn't really want to be in a group and vulnerable with people and watching them watching them watch me snot everywhere. I didn't want that. I wanted to just be with myself in it. And the cool thing about Soma Tribe is you can be with yourself or you could be in the community. It doesn't matter. Whatever is right for you in that moment, both are totally fine. You can just lurk around and watch the replays and not actually show up to the calls and get just as much out of it as people who really thrive in community. Um, and that's why I created it that way because I think that there is a time in everyone's healing journey when when they do need a little bit of alone time to just be with themselves. So, probably all of you type fives out there, this was for you. And type sevens. Any of you who don't like vulnerability. So there we go. I love you all. And I'm looking forward to doing this segment on my 12 gifts of the holiday season. And I'm looking forward to being consistent with it. And now that I have my voice back, uh, I look forward to um spending some time with you this holiday season. Take care and uh happy holidays.

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Tabitha MacDonald

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