What Martial Artists and Corporate Leaders Have In Common with Brian Cyr

 “When you get right down to it, people are people.” - Brian Cyr

Are you and your organization currently spending energy thinking about the post-pandemic work environment?  What does a hybrid workplace look like?   How do we need to shift now that the status quo has been turned upside down?   If so, you need to listen to this episode.

My guest is Brian Cyr, a certified coach and coach educator and a long-time entrepreneur as the owner and teacher at a chain of karate schools.  Brian brings a fresh and objective perspective to the broad topic of Talent Management.

In today’s episode of Talent Management Truths, you’ll discover:

• The parallels between martial arts education and coaching in organizations
• The contrast between sports and corporate life when it comes to concept of practice
• The importance of language in creating experiences that move us in the direction we want

About Brian Cyr:  As CEO and Founder of a professional Martial Arts Organization, Brian brings 30 years of experience in personal and team development. With over 10,000 students taught, and over 12 locations across North America, Brian has worked with individuals of all backgrounds and skill levels, coaching them towards a “target success mindset”. 

For over 10 years, Brian has taught for the Adler Professional school, and hones his skills to high achieving individuals and companies, working with groups, and one on one, through an Adlerian approach.

Brian’s style of coaching mastery on the coaching faculty for the Adler Graduate Professional School., martial arts expertise, and entrepreneurial spirit has allowed him to work with leaders and teams from all industries. He provides an experience rich with content and creates the right amount of discomfort for growth to transpire.

Links

• Adler Faculty of Coaching:  https://www.adler.ca/index.php/coaching

Looking for a Team Coach or dynamic Keynote Speaker/Facilitator?

Book a call with me to explore how we might partner (serious inquiries only please): 

https://calendly.com/lisa-mitchell-greenapple/clarity-call

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Transcript

LM Ep 7
===



back to talent management truths. I'm your host, Lisa Mitchell. And today my guest is Brian sear. So what does a black belt in karate have to do with executive coaching and talent management? Well, you need to listen to this episode to find. Brian sear is a coaching faculty member for the Adler graduate professional school.

He's the founder of a martial arts organization and he coaches, individuals and teams in a wide variety of organizations and industries in all aspects of his busy work life. Brian has committed to developing the potential in people by creating what he calls the right amount of discomfort for growth to transplant.

Stay tuned. I promise you'll walk away with important insights that will help you support the development of your people in the most impactful way possible.

[00:01:59] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Hello, and welcome back to talent management truth. My guest today is Brian sear and Brian and I go back a few years now. We met at Adler faculty of professional coaching and he was my teacher in that case. And we've done some work together since then. along with being a faculty member and teaching all sorts of, for newbie coaches and, shepherding them along on their journey, he is also an executive coach himself does a lot of team coaching group coaching one-on-one and Brian grew up in the entrepreneurial world running from a very young age, starting and running several karate schools.

And I'm sure that'll, that'll play into our conversations. So he's got a really interesting Take or perspective on the world of talent management or helping people really grow into their potential. So with that, I want to welcome Brian to the show.

[00:03:42] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: Well, thanks, Lisa, how long is it? We've known shit for how long are we going to talk about that at all? Or does that, does that age us or what? 

[00:03:49] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: I think we're, I think we're allowed, I think we're allowed, so I think it's about four and a half years. 

[00:03:53] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: Well, that's not too bad. 

[00:03:54] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: It's not too bad. 

[00:03:55] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: feel too old 

[00:03:56] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: It's not decades. Does it feel like that? 

[00:03:59] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: Well, we've, I think we've just, well, I'm going to say no, but I think we've had a lot, we've crossed paths in so many different ways. It just, it feels like we've done. We've done so much in those only four and a half years.

Wow. 

[00:04:11] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah, I know. Crazy, crazy. Yeah, it feels long and short all at the same time, one of those conundrums. So, so tell us a little bit about your path because it's really, really. Intriguing for a lot of the listeners that, you know, they, they grew up in corporate. For instance, they've spent most of their lives in corporate, not everybody, but a good, a good chunk.

So you're, you're you followed a different, a different route to working with some people in corporate.

[00:04:37] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: Yeah. my path originally started through the martial arts world. So at a very young age, in my early twenties, I was given the opportunity to. Open up the karate school. So at a young age, full of VIM and vigor and I don't know what else enthusiasm started a martial arts school and probably ran that well, still running it now.

And it's been around since well, I won't age from about 1988 a letter and let's do the math. 

[00:05:04] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: The eighties, 

[00:05:05] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: The eighties, 

the eighties 

[00:05:07] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: let that sink in.

[00:05:08] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: Yeah. And just. And so I've, I've had the, the blessing and, or a curse, I guess depends how you want to define it of really being just self-employed since the beginning.

Right. And not having that corporate experience, right. That a career experience of climbing a corporate ladder and dealing with that you know, of other headaches and other frustrations and other obstacles you have to overcome when you're, self-employed from a, from a very young age. But that was really my background when I began. And that was a, that was a full-time endeavor for, for a few decades before I started to, you know, just steer a little bit more towards coaching.

[00:05:45] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah. And it's, I mean, it is, it is education. So a lot of, a lot of folks in top management myself included have a background formal background, or, you know, degree work in education, whether they're adults or working with kids. you know, so you, you, you come to that teaching piece, honestly, but through, through a sport, through discipline, like martial arts.

So what did have you start to gravitate towards.

[00:06:08] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: So I run the school for probably about 20 years or so. And what was interesting is I thought I was, I originally thought I was burning out, but I, after discovering and having conversations, I was just getting bored. So the clubs are doing well. There were established. And there was this thing out there called coaching and it was this new word.

And so I originally thought what I'd do is I'd go and get that education and bring it back to the schools. So in 2010, I believe thereabouts much like yourself. I entered the Adler school as a. Went through the process, but a year and a bit. And then at the end of it originally, I was just going to bring it back to the club, having students and parents, I could bring the coaching aspect to help everybody.

And there was a lot of parallels and the martial arts, just like coaching is about getting someone to the next best level of themselves, right. From good to great or fair to whatever that is. Right. Moving and bridging that gap. So the martial arts has a lot of it and there's a real physicality to it. So there's a lot of parallels between martial arts, education and coaching education or development in the martial arts that obviously has that physical aspect to it.

So you're recognizing physical skills, what you do well and how do we, how do we root ourselves in those to, you know, to, to get you to a better physical level technical level and the coaching, and a lot of the similarities. Where it's recognizing who we are at our best, and then leveraging those points to get us to the next level.

So when I finished my education, I will not finish it when I graduated. Let's say, because we don't, we don't finish. When I graduated from Adler timing was right. And I was approached by the Dean at that time to consider about becoming faculty. So then I spent the next year or so going through that, all the courses again, and assisting, and then went on to faculty from the.

And then it kind of just took off. So originally I brought back the coaching and I was doing it with black belts, the parents, students, and then it starts to happen. Right. When you start to get an email or a question, Hey, Brian, you know, would you, you know, would you consider a coaching, someone outside of the dojo? Yeah.

I would do that. And now what, almost 12 years later, pretty much all of my coaching is done outside of. Of the school in the corporate world, in the executive world and working with people in that area. But there's a lot of parallels that I think helped me. There was a lot of, a lot of commonalities, you know, when you talk about accountability or values and setting goals and all of those things are things I had done for many years with students.

So it was it was a neat jump from one to the other, but still having that. 

[00:08:49] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah, it's interesting. You know, like working with kids, their parents, of that, and then moving to working with, with leaders and individuals and corporate, and then certainly teaching at Adler. You've got people from all walks of life that are choosing to study coaching. Right. Many of them from corporate and, and other backgrounds as well.

yeah, what's, what's been the most, I don't know, surprising thing out of that whole transition for you.

[00:09:13] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: Surprise. I think what is how it's it is far more similar than it is different. The aspect of training things from the physical side, I think has really supported me in working in that the other element, because, in the, in the martial arts, we talk about having a strong base. And leveraging, you know, there's leavers in the body that you use, whether it's your, your hips and all of that to create power and momentum.

And then when you're, when you're with someone there's contact that you develop sensitivity to. So there's, there were so many parallels in language, almost in a metaphoric aspect. So whether we have that, you know, if physically physical wise, I have to establish a base. Well in the outside world, you need a base as well.

So whether that's your values, your strengths, what you do well, how do I, what do I base in? So I can't be easily moved. And if I am moved, how do I, how do I, if my base is compromised, how do I land in base again? Right. And leverage, same thing leverages, you know, using the best of me, right? The strongest part of me. And then connection is the relationship based. So if somebody physically grabs you, there's a sensitivity that comes through that grab that I can use. And I think it's the same in all relationships. So there was a lot of neat parallels and working with people who've never had a martial arts background, but still having that understanding and bringing a very similar language from one side to the next.

So there is a lot of, a lot of parallels that was great. So it enabled me to develop my own artistic approach to the science of leadership or the science of teams. And then the other side was. You know, having run my school, the, the value of the school is that I had to, I was teaching. I would go from teaching a, you know, an eight year old kids class to a senior blackball class where you have people of all walks of life from ages, backgrounds education, everything.

So it was really neat. And I think that was important. So when I, when I went into. Corporate world and sort of coaching there that wasn't, it wasn't a, a big shock or a big challenge or a big change. I mean, people, when you.

when you get right down to it, people are people. 

[00:11:29] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah, isn't that a uh, some people are people it's 

[00:11:32] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: Yeah. Okay. I'll do a lot of stuff, but I'm not singing on a podcast. 

[00:11:37] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Probably good idea. Um, I will take my own advice and not saying either. so with this whole piece around physical martial arts, coaching and coaching, working with leaders, individuals in, in organizations that there's more similar than different. What is different? You talked about what's the same.

[00:11:55] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: one of the big differences is. in the physical world of you have the physical contact and it's getting people to understand the physical side to the philosophical side. So we have often say in the martial arts, that it's a physical means to a mental end with people that have a background.

In physical. And even if it's any sport that have more of a body awareness of things, there's been, that there's been that easier transition. Whereas when people don't have that, it can get them to be a little more challenging to get those people, to understand physical awareness or sensation in the martial arts.

It's all about. And how to understand breath and how to use our breath to calm ourselves. You use our breath to focus. And I think the, one of the challenging parts is when people don't have that, background to bring that awareness to it, especially if, if it's a first time They've never had to, you know, my breath can make a difference or being aware of how I'm standing can make a difference or how, what sensations are happening in my body right now that are telling me something that are a source of information.

So that's been probably the most challenging, but very small compared to what, similar to what is different. There's far more, this is far more stuff that I've been able to transfer to the world than has gotten. 

[00:13:16] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah, that's interesting. And on the breathing thing, I'll have to say like that, that was something that wasn't in sort of my sphere of awareness, you know, as I was sort of coming up and yeah. Once I realized when I'm get into overwhelm and I've been in and out of burnout over my, my life and career breath kind of went out the window.

I used to joke that I, I forget to breathe because it would become so shallow. Right. So, so it's interesting that breathing piece, cause my son is, you know, does TaeKwonDo and that's a really big element. So he he's, he used to have sort of, he used to call it anger management issues when he was a little guy, but he did, he would sort of fly off the handle a little too easily.

Because he cares so much mostly, you know, if something was unfair. So the breathing was really became important for him as a, as a technique. And that you see all sorts of adults today, they, they, they don't know about that basic piece. Right. There's becoming more and more awareness around it with Headspace and calm and all these different apps that are being promoted, particularly since COVID hit, you know, a lot of companies have really tried to introduce some of these things that make a difference.

[00:14:09] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: And understanding, connection between breadth and emotion as you talked about. Right? So then the question becomes, if my emotion creates a certain type of breathing, cause we breathe different. Laughing, you breathe. If you're angry, you breathe. If you're anxious, if you're fearful, if you're calm, the breadth is different.

So then the, then the question becomes, or the work becomes, if my emotion creates the breathing or influences my breathing, can my breathing influence the emotion. Right? So I find that something that's been neat for executives to play with just to recognize and let the breath be a source of information.

Like notice my breathing is done there. What's that telling me if I shift my breath, can I shift my emotions and therefore shift my attention in my awareness? 

[00:14:56] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah. And their state really, you know, like it's, it's about getting reground in that, in that present. Very powerful. Just getting my hair done yesterday. My hairdresser has been having a particularly rough time and I was sharing with her, you know, just the, the, the technique of 5, 7, 8, you know, inhale and five hold for seven and count.

Can't do anything else while you're doing that. And then exhale on eight and it's so. Mind-blowingly effective and nobody knows you're doing it. So, 

[00:15:19] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: yeah. it's, it's one of those things we've been doing it forever. So we make the assumption that we're doing it correctly, or we're doing it with the most amount of impact. And it's fascinating how most of us most of them. 

[00:15:33] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah. Yeah. And shifting into that, you know, sort of groundedness really allows you to then be, you know, you realize. Oh, I do have choice in how I respond here. I don't have to be just in, you know, fiery reactionary mode. I can be intentional, so very important. So, so a question that sort of started to bubble up for me as you were talking a little bit earlier, just before that piece on breath was.

So you made this transition from being karate school owner and teacher took on the coaching and started to work with corporate leaders. And, you know, I still get requests sometimes from people, you know, inquiries that where they want one-on-one coaching, they're starting to explore, right. Could I meet with them or, you facilitator for, for a program or a consultant, and they want to know, do you have experience in the public sector or have you worked with marketing executives or salespeople or operations?

You know, COO's kind of thing. So they want to, it's interesting because I find when people are reaching out for that kind of service, talent management type of service, this is me as an external provider. They want to feel like you understand them. Did that come up for you? And if so, how did you handle it?

[00:16:39] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: Yeah.

I think there's at first that response or that inquiry, and I think how I how I approached it was the fresh eyes perspective. Right? Not knowing a lot about your, about your problem or your situation enables me to come in from a very objective perspective. You know, I don't have any preconceived notions about what you do and enables me to focus on the person. And it's great for me too, because I also don't have any noise in the way where I have a background in marketing. So immediately have all this preconceptions, all this experience, All these filters that can get in the way of me just being, being able to listen very cleanly and not have it get in the way.

Right. Cause sometimes, you know, education can serve us, but it can also get in the way as it, it, it stops us from being able to be really objective. And that's kinda how I just went at it. I just said, well, one of the advantages is I don't have. Uh, Background and what you're doing. So I can just focus on you as the person and who, how you want to be showing up in this, how you want to be thinking what your belief system is.

And then you can decide based on that, what you want to be doing with those, with those pieces. And I think it speaks because right now I'm probably, you know, there's five different industries that I'm working with. From education to a mining group, to a banking group, to a restaurant group. And I think it's actually served me not to have all of that stuff get in the way where I can just focus on the individual, what they want.

What their strengths are, right? How do they move? You know, leveraging what's strong, not what's wrong with you, right? What's strong inside you. And then leveraging those as we talk about, you know, talents and developmental opportunities. So I I've been able to spin it in a way to see it as an advantage and not something that gets in the way.

And in a lot of ways, a lot of the clients now that approach. Actually I've said that I wanted to get with someone who doesn't have a background in this. So then it also stopped them from asking me for advice specifically about this, because I just, I don't know. I have no idea what it does or what the, you know, what, you know, the tech developers do and what you're working on in soft programs are and what you're developing.

So I can really be cleaned and then it stops them from asking them. Advice questions specifically about their skill. So it, I think it's worked in my favor. 

[00:19:12] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah, I think You know, you say, you say it so well, it's so well articulated. And I think for folks listening, a lot of whom are in the chair in organizations that interviews coaches and, and service providers in the talent management space when they need to bring in, you know, external help.

And I think, you know, a lot of, a lot of these folks would think, oh, it'd be a good thing. If, if Brian had that marketing expertise, cause it's our VP of marketing, we think he, he might work with that kind of thing and, and really. Considering how powerful it is to have that neutral, fresh eyes perspective that you talked about.

know, I find it often, it's an advantage when I'm facilitating with leaders in organizations. I can speak the language. I know the lingo enough that I, you know, it gives me a you know, some credibility with them and I can follow. But again, as we know, from Adler and coaching school is, it's not about the story.

If we get too drawn into the story, then we're not listening for the themes and what, and what the client needs. So, so something just to underscore there that I think is key. 

[00:20:14] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: Yeah. It keeps us, and it separates a little more from being a consultant versus a COVID. And they haven't. I mean, obviously have an overlap where you bring coaching skills. I mean, as you know, now having, having done our, coaching education is, you know, we bring coaching skills pretty much to every conversation 

and every relationship, 

but there's a difference between having a coaching skill and coaching. 

So not, yeah. Not having that expertise. Ashley, I just, I think it just enables me to go in with so much more of a clarity on not solving a problem, but looking at where the person is and who they need to be within themselves to solve the problem. 

[00:20:53] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah. It's interesting. I've really, you know, for instance, in my case, because I serve the talent management community and I have that background, I've had to be really intentional and really clear on my offerings. When am I. Fully and service as coach mode, or I'm working as a thought partner with those leaders, right.

Which, which gets into a little bit more of the mentoring and some idea generation and bringing, you know, it's a different role. And I position it as such because you have to distinguish right. And why in neutral objective. Open cause that's a lot of people think they know what coaching is. I find I do some do need oftentimes to help people understand what's actually involved.

It's not about telling people what to do. Right. I'm going to coach you and give you 

direct 

instructions on what to do, right? 

[00:21:35] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: it did take a few sessions. So when I work one-on-one it can take it can take a few coaching sessions before they start to I understand that, oh, you're not going to give me the answer here are you, you're going to, you're going to sit with me and we're going, gonna sit in this.

And you're going to gain my perspective. And before they asked myself and even with teams, I really articulate the different hats from a teacher to a facilitator, to a coach and all. A lay of the day, that way, we're all say, you know, this morning, we're going to have a little bit of a teaching piece.

And then we're going to have a part we're going to put on my facilitator hat. And they're going to have a part where I'm going to wear my coaching, my coaching jacket, and it's going to be very different. And what that does is it creates an awareness for the team, but also in a to myself because how you formulate your questions is very different when I'm teaching you versus I'm facilitating versus.

And then the two names starts to recognize that where there'll be an inner, I'll be wearing the coaching hat and you can see them turn to me and go, oh, Brian's coaching. He's not going to be sharing anything at the moment. Right. So, and then it's more, as we know, more question-based and we see the it's client centered versus centered in myself or centered in solving any type of problems. 

So 

[00:22:46] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Rwanda topic. 

[00:22:48] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: yeah, there is a little bit of a juggle it does take some, especially if people have never experienced coaching before, until they've actually, I mean, you can talk about coaching, you can share books, you can talk about it again, but instill they've been in the experience and tasted the coaching kind of thing.

It's it lands a little different. And, and as I said, but the one-on-ones, it can take a few sessions before they start to get an understanding of, oh, this is how this, this works. Right. It's really about me. 

[00:23:15] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: And once they, once they get it, I find a lot of people get they really enjoy it. Right? Like they really, you know, start, you know, sending their ideas and thoughts ahead of time. Right. This is what I want to focus on. Right. Whereas before it was like, I don't know why, I'm not really sure what I want to 

[00:23:30] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: well, it's fastened because there it's about.

them. It's not it's, you know, as best as we can as human beings, it's a nonjudgmental space. It's a safe place. It's confidential. you're listening and you're asking versus versus telling, and I agree on once they get into it. And you'll notice that when you start, I noticed with clients, you know, you'll finish a call and there'll be like, wow, how did you know to ask that question?

That was a really cool, and then it, as you said, right, as they kind of get into it, they get more committed and they start to enjoy it more and more. And I just find it. Coaching is what creates a sustainability. 

[00:24:05] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah. 

[00:24:06] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: If I'm, if I'm teaching and I'm no longer there, it's difficult, more challenging for the person to continue sustainable learning because they're waiting for the teacher as a coach, because it's more self-generated.

I remember having a client for a few years and he used to drive a half hour to come and see me. And you walked into the office and I remember his name was Brian as well. And I remember him saying to me, I'm good. I said, what do you mean I'm good? He goes, well, I got in my car and as I was driving here, I started to think about what I wanted to talk about.

And I could hear your voice in my head, which we start to get a lot. Right. I hear your voice in my head asking all that. I started asking myself those questions that I knew you were going to ask me, and I pretty much worked through everything. And I think, I think I came to my own conclusion, which was great because then we said, all right, so where are you now?

What did you learn? And what are we doing at this time? But, and that's one of the things that the coaching does, right? It enables you to start to self coach asking those, you know, those reflective questions that a coach asks you and sit with those open questions that create a deeper learning 

[00:25:10] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah, it's it's so important. Cause that's something that I often share, you know, with, with prospective clients, for instance, this isn't to create dependency, right? For you to all of a sudden, you have to ha you know, have, have your bi-weekly coaching session to get anything done. This is around you tapping into your internal resources and you know, you know, elevating your confidence over time and, you know, making your.

Choices, new choices, seeing different choices and so on and learning to self coach. It's very generative now that said I'm addicted to the process. Right? I always have a coach. I have a business coach. I have a regular coach because I, And that's not to say, I'm not self-coaching in between.

I am, I I'm pointing over here cause I have a journal right. That I, that I use to sort of get the mind swirl out and then sort through, okay. What's actually happening sort of your, like your client on his drive. Right. I find it very, very powerful. Thank you. Okay. Whoa, what would Brian asked me at this point?

For instance, you know? Yeah. 

[00:26:02] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: no. And it's true. I've had a coach since. I started, 12 years ago. And as you mentioned, the coach has taken on, you know, from a business coach to a life coach, to a, a mentor coach based on what I needed, but I've always had that thinking partner somebody that will challenge hold the toes to the fire support, And I think we all, we always need that. And as you know, it's funny as individuals, we, we grew up always having a support system, whether it's. Family parents, siblings. Then you had teachers, then you had coaches, then martial arts, you have sensei's and you have mentors and you always have this. And then for some reason, we, we think at our age, we're supposed to be, to figure everything out on our own, but we have in our whole life, we've always had someone, even the top athletes have the best coach. In the world, right. In, in, in a, in a sports world, I think it's the same in all, all aspects to know you have that support that helps with accountability. know, I've got my, I've got my coach. Yeah. I've got my coaching call in a week and it's like, oh, I better get my stuff together and work on this.

And they hold, they support, they challenge. And once you find that right coach that right mix, I think it's a, it's a real click that can really support. 

[00:27:16] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah. Yeah. I find it's, it's, it's huge in terms of creating a structure. So I really make things manageable and I'm able to, to move forward on things faster than by myself. I might get there by myself, but, you know, and, and you say like, why is it all of a sudden you hit a certain age or stage and you're expected to fly solo and figure.

All by yourself. I see this all the time, then my clients, oh, I feel like I have one just last week, a one-on-one coaching client, VP, big organization. She's brilliant. And she brought something that made her felt, feel really vulnerable. But at the end, when I asked her, you know what, what's kind of your main takeaway.

She's like, I'm so glad I brought this up. Cause I was saying, oh, I should be able to figure this out on my own. And then I had to sort of self-talk, but, working with Lisa, this is the perfect opportunity to think it through, We should, we should be able to do it. And it's the same thing with there's this expectation that people here here's a new task or a new portfolio, new assignment, go figure it out.

And there's not this valuing of practice, either. This allowance permission for practice for experimentation. And I think there's little signs, hopeful signs that that's starting to change a little bit in organizational culture, there's more and more awareness, but I think it 

[00:28:22] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: Yeah. 

[00:28:22] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: take, another generation.

[00:28:24] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: One of the best. Yes. One of the best analogies that I heard was when they talk about an athlete spends, you know, 90% of their time practicing and 10% performing. 



Whereas in the corporate world, it's the, it's the opposite. Even less, you spend 90%, 95% in performance and five to 10% practicing. I mean, the coaching is that dedicated piece where it allows you to be in that reflective practice mode.

That's really needed, 

[00:28:53] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah, well, like, would you ever go to see the Toronto symphony orchestra if they weren't spending 90, 95% of their time practicing? Right. It would not sound good. You know, so, but they're really, their performance time is just such a small proportion of their time together at work. 

[00:29:07] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: That's the one thing I noticed that if you talk about, you know, circling back, I'm hearing what you said at the beginning about differences. That was one of that. One of the differences, you know, in the martial arts, where we spend so much time and we give so much space to practice, to reflect, to digest, to assimilate.

And that's the one thing I noticed in the corporate world that they don't have as that, you know, it's always game time. 

So, you know, one of the things I always offer, usually always offer to my corporate clients is look for non game time, opportunity to practice skills. So if you want to practice, you know, being more patient.

If that's, if that's what you want to develop, don't wait till the executive meeting, right. Where you think you're going to practice patients, you practice patients at Starbucks, right. In your car, which is a great way to practice many behaviors, by the way, right. In your car and, and not getting upset.

And you work on it at that point and really looking for practice times. Cause that's, that's, circling back again to that question, that's probably the biggest difference is they don't. There's no practice time set. Right? So you've got to look for those opportunities and non game time non-super bowl, pressure packed to say, I'm going to practice, X skill X, but then you wait for the executive meeting when you know, all hell's breaking loose and things are moving at 40 miles an hour. You'll never pull it off. So you have to look for those non. Game time relationships and conversations where you can practice those skills and get better at it. 

[00:30:37] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: well, and this is where I see like the, the organizations that are doing I think the best job around really trying to, talent management leaders. So this is your HR O D learning and development folks. They're, they're caught in the organizational middle, right? They've got to, they've got to make the upper echelon happy, you know, the senior management team, the board, whatever it is, they've got finite funding resources they're seen as a cost center, not a revenue generator.

So there's all these constraints placed on them, you You want a week to, to change performance with this group, you know, we want you to train them, but can you do an hour as a keynote? You know, that kind of thing. Like there's, that really is a thing. And then on the other hand, they've got all of the employees and the leaders looking to them and their groups for support, for development, and it's insatiable appetite.

They always want more or more. So it's this, these opposing. 

[00:31:24] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: And they're right in the middle. Right. 

[00:31:26] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: there they're right in the middle there's this challenge. Right. And, and S and, you know, trying to navigate that, it's a bit of a dance over time. The folks that I see making headway are the ones that are, you know, have, have really been intentionally working around their influence skills building buy-in, change management.

So that, that communication that keeping people in the loop involving people generally. But it's also the folks that. Our building into their programs, an iterative kind of approach to learning, right. Iterative supportive so that it's not a one and done, it's not a flavor of the month, throw it out the wall, see if it sticks, introduce some language.

But two months later, later, we're going to bring in a new model. You it's the folks that kind of commit to something that really listen to the needs, really pick something carefully and, and Let's put it in like fine tune it and be iterative around how we put it in place. So there is that practice time, that reflection.

What do you see with the people you work with in terms of the biggest opportunities for the learning, the HR, the OT people that are supporting employees?

[00:32:28] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: I think we're starting to see. Uh, Tilt towards, as you mentioned, right? When I first started this, a lot more stuff was just reactive. 

So somebody would be, you know, when you see it all the time, someone very good in the corporate world, very good at a skill, very good at doing something. And then suddenly they make them in charge of people who are in charge of the doing something, but they haven't developed that lead.

And that CMC, you know, you manage a project and you lead people. I found 10 years ago, it was a lot reactive, you know, we've, you know, Brian's now in charge of a team of eight. He's never been charged with a team of eight before, and he has no idea what he's doing and it's blowing up and it's not. So can you, can you support him where I find now it's becoming a little more proactive.

People are recognizing. All right. So. We want to move Brian in this position in the next 12, 18 months, let's start some leadership coaching. Let's start some support now. So when you get to that position, he's, it's, it's like he's already been doing all of this. And I think there's an awareness of that.

That's starting to happen where leadership development, people, development, communication, development, all of what they call soft skills between no, are. Are the key skills, right? That word people want to use. Right. You know, it's really about communication and relationships, knowing myself, you know, that bringing a level of awareness to a situation awareness of how I'm showing up and then awareness of other.

And I think there's a real nice shift now in, they're starting to, they're starting to realize if we do it, this proactively, we make it, as you said, right? We don't just insert it. You know, mental health day is not just the first Wednesday of the month. It's every day. It should become a very fabric of everything that's there.

And I think I'm starting, we're starting to see a shift in our people being aware. And recognizing that and the importance of it. I mean, we're seeing it now in hockey, you see, you know, the goalie for the Montreal Canadians stepping away and taking the time and the support that's being recognized that we need to take time for ourselves.

We need to take time to develop ourselves, to be aware of ourselves so we can be the best for others because you can't give what you don't know. 

[00:34:37] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah, and I think we fight the whole. the very way that we're wired as humans, which is we are not always in our flow state. We AB and flow just like waves. And it's not always as straight up one, two rhythm. Right. It's sometimes, you know, I had a rough year last year, as you know, I mean, that tide was, the wave was out for a long time where I kept thinking, like, looking around, where did I go?

You know, so it was really leaning into just trusting that it would return and being okay with that. And I think you know, we can't expect people to be performance machines, a hundred percent of the time, or to get it right off the bat without practicing, right off, you know, a hundred percent of the time.

So I think yeah, I think there is more awareness there. What do you think. If you were to give one piece of advice as much as you're a coach what, what's something. Yeah. Well, or just where, what would you love to see that you think would make a huge difference in the working lives of thousands of people?

Really, if talent management folks were able to to make it happen,

[00:35:37] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: big question. One thing that comes up for myself with people is to go as a mantra that I kind of float with a lot is go as far as you can see. And from there, you'll see further, don't allow yourself to get, to get pulled too far forward into what we don't know. So that would be the number one thing is, Go as far as you can see from there, you'll see further.

The second thing is, as we know in coaching, we become more of a, of a wordsmith. We become very aware of language of the language we use. And the other part would be saying that the other part would be is understanding that how we explain things will have a great impact on how we experience it. So for explaining something in a way that.

You know, it can be more fear-based or more holds us back. We're using stuck language. Are we defending our current position or am I using creative language? That's moved me into the direction that I want. So I think those would be the two things. And as you know, especially now as coaches, right? So really be aware of the language we're using to describe a situation, the language we use in conversation and also the internal Anchorage, right.

That's self. That understanding how we are talking to our son, how we're speaking to our ourselves internally and recognizing that the way I'm explaining this to myself as the way it probably the way it's gonna influence how I'm going to experience it. So if I can change the language, can I change the. 

[00:37:05] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah, well, and it's, it's that used to be something that I found helpful in You know, explaining to folks internally about, you know, why I was recommending a particular solution or a couple of different options. It was, like sometimes I would get challenged. I know when I think back around, why was getting the language around a certain model or techniques so important.

And it's because language proceeds behavior, right. We've got, and we need to create that common language that everyone can get behind. And I think there's huge opportunity to, to keep doing that. I think it makes a huge difference for adoption and people getting on the bus, so to speak.

[00:37:40] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: Yeah, very much. I remember I w I'd worked with Doug Silsbee before he passed. And one of the things he talked about, it was a language course, and he he's described the nicest that we have both defending and creating language. I thought that was a neat way to explain it. So it was my language defending my, where I am, or is my language creating the movement to where I want to move.

And when you listen to people, they'll generally say two in the same sector. No, usually what you usually, what the, yeah, but in the middle, right? This is a great idea, but that, so then it's, it's deciding which side of that fence do you want to do? You want to focus on, right? What's the language that's going to move you in the direction that you want to be moving, as you said, right?

It 

proceeds behavior. 

[00:38:22] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah. Well, to this day, sometimes I'll write down in my journal. Oh, okay. What do I have to, you know, do what's on my mind? Well, I should do this or should have done this. And then it's it's wait a second. Cross it out. Well, what will I do? What do I want to do? And Mind blowing shift every single time.

That simple technique. So let's, let's move to our wrap-up question cause I can't believe it, but time has flown. So it is that time already. So if you were to, you know, look back when you started out perhaps setting up the, the dojo and, and so on, what's one piece of advice you would offer your younger self.

[00:38:56] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: big, deep questions, one piece of advice, 

[00:38:59] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah. 

[00:38:59] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: which is one I think I would start off with, especially now being in the. You know, in the second half of the, my, my football game in life here it's to realize that don't take ourselves too serious and I'm going to give it to, and everyone's doing the best they can. 

[00:39:19] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Yeah, ice words.

[00:39:21] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: Yeah. And then there's gotta be a fun piece in there somewhere too. It's gotta be fun. Right. So, 

[00:39:26] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: Well, well, it sort of ties in with the first one. Don't take yourself so seriously. I mean like I fall into that lots of times. Right. And it's okay, wait a second. How can I, you know, what's, what would feel fun right now? What would you know, maybe I need a good laugh, right? I actually have my dad joke book.

I'd probably tell him. Really geeky. I love dad jokes. They make me laugh. 

[00:39:44] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: Yes. 

[00:39:44] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: All right. Well, thank you so, so much for coming on the show and sharing your experience and your wisdom with us and your observations. Just such a pleasure as always. 

[00:39:54] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--guest793555--brian-cyr: Well, a time went so fast and uh, yeah, when crazy fast, which is a lot of fun. And, thanks for inviting me. 

[00:40:01] brian-cyr_recording-1_2021-10-13--t07-07-53pm--61157a395affa4006d0cfc64--lollyg: My pleasure. My pleasure.