Stephanie Cain Shows How You Can Do Hard Things

She showed up to basic training thinking she was ready, then learned fast that readiness is something you build, not something you announce. We’re joined by Stephanie Cane, a Kalamazoo, Michigan native who served in the United States Army and later the Army National Guard, and her story is equal parts funny, honest, and sharp about what military life really teaches you. 

We talk about growing up in the 1970s with hard-working parents, getting picked on at school, and finding confidence through marching band, color guard, and becoming drum major. Then she walks us through the decision to enlist right after high school, the reality check of Fort Dix, and the moment it “clicked” that basic training is a mind game. That mindset shift becomes the start of a new kind of strength, the kind that carries into every job and every hard season afterward. 

From finance AIT to Fort Ord to Korea, Stephanie shares what it’s like to be one of the few women in a unit, how attention can distort your instincts, and how leadership sometimes starts with small standards and uncomfortable corrections. She also opens up about stress at Fort Hood, divorce, becoming a single mom, continuing to serve in the National Guard, and building a 30-year civilian career in banking leadership, capped by earning her bachelor’s degree in 2024. Faith is a steady thread throughout, not as a shortcut around hardship, but as a core that helps her move through it with grace. 

If you care about women in the military, veteran leadership lessons, career transition, or the kind of friendships that survive decades, you’ll get a lot from this conversation. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a boost, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway.

Transcript

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Meet Stephanie Kane

SPEAKER_00 0:33

Okay. Three, two, one. Today is Monday, July 27th, 2026. We're talking with Stephanie Kane, who served in the United States Army and also the Army National Guard. So good afternoon, Stephanie. Hello. Thanks for having me in your home.

SPEAKER_02 0:49

Thank you. Thanks for doing this.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

All right. Well, we'll just jump right in. Um and I'll ask uh when and where were you born?

SPEAKER_02 0:55

I was born in Kalamazoo, Michigan, 1971.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

Okay. Grew up in Kalamazoo?

SPEAKER_02 1:01

I did. I did. I've been in Kalamazoo my entire life, except for when I was in the military.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Wow. All right. Brothers and sisters?

SPEAKER_02 1:08

I have one of each. Um, and I live like about a mile from my parents. So I'm still pretty close to where I grew up.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

Yeah, not only are you home, but you're home.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

Yeah, I'm home home.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

Right. Yeah. Now, where'd you fit in the pecking order?

SPEAKER_02 1:23

I'm the youngest. Are you? Yes. Are you?

SPEAKER_00 1:25

Are you the spoiled youngest? Or you don't like to look at it?

SPEAKER_02 1:28

It depends on who you ask. I'll say no.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Okay. But if I asked your brother and sister, what would you say?

SPEAKER_02 1:33

Yes, absolutely.

unknown 1:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

All right.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

It was a yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

Well, talk to me about growing up. What were your parents like?

SPEAKER_02 1:40

Uh, hard workers. Hard workers. Um, my dad set a really strong work ethic for us. My mom worked several different jobs uh throughout my life, uh, you know, my younger years. Um, and there were some times where she was stay-at-home as well. But um, but definitely had uh the a great family support. Um, I don't think I ever did any kind of daycare. I think I was always with my mom, or when I was when we were old enough, we were just living, you know, yeah, what do they

Growing Up In Rural Kalamazoo

SPEAKER_02 2:12

call it, latch kick it or whatever? We were I had two older siblings, so they were old enough.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

Right, right. Right. Did you now did you learn a lot of what not to do from your older siblings?

SPEAKER_02 2:22

Oh, absolutely. Yes, yes. I learned a lot of things not to do from them. I think um I was always probably the one that was like, um, I know you asked if I was spoiled, and I said no. Um, but like if there was something that we really wanted to do, uh-huh, I was sent in. I was the reinforcements to go in and ask.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Right. Because they knew you would get the right answer.

SPEAKER_02 2:45

I would get the answer that we were looking for.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Well, so what was it like growing up in Kalamazoo in the 70s?

SPEAKER_02 2:51

Well, where we grew up, uh and where my folks live still, it's uh not real close to town. So we spent a lot of time outside. You know, we had a garden, we pulled weeds a lot, um, or we were supposed to pull weeds a lot. Um, we had woods, we spent a lot of time out in the woods uh with the neighborhood kids. You know, the you you hear how, you know, the lights turn on, that means it's time to come home. Well, we didn't have street lights, so for us it's when the when the whistle blew, we knew it was time to come home. So uh, but we there was probably four or five houses in the neighborhood that we were always either at our house or theirs. And we had a pool, so uh a lot of times it was our house because we had You were the popular house. Yes, yes, we had the pool.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Oh, very nice. Very nice. And what was school like for you?

SPEAKER_02 3:36

School? Um, it was okay. I will tell you that um, and and I can share more of this later, but I was a little bit of a crybaby growing up. I got picked on a lot. Um, my sister and I argued a lot, but do not let her hear somebody was picking on me. And she was like, nope, she's mine. You can't do that. Um, but but I was definitely uh needing a little bit of growing up, I think, because I was also the small, you know, the youngest one, and I was actually very petite too

School, Bullying, And Finding Friends

SPEAKER_02 4:07

at the time. So um, so it was a little difficult. We um we ended up going to a private school for a couple of years and then coming back to public schools. So um that helped a little bit, I think.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

But yeah, yeah. How was that transition for you from public to or from private to public?

SPEAKER_02 4:23

From private back into public.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

Um, it was it was fine, I think, because I had a lot of friends still from the area. Um, I had a best friend that was at the school, and then uh friends from like Girl Scouts and things like that grow growing up. So um, so we did have friends moving in um back into the public schools. And when I went in, I was a sophomore. Um, and so when I my from sophomore year on, I was actually a lot closer with those that were freshmen, so a year behind me because we were all new at the high school at the same time.

SPEAKER_00 4:57

So yeah, even though you had friends that you didn't have those relationships that had been built through school.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

Yeah, because you you can have friends like you see them once a week or whatever, but then now all of a sudden you're spending every day with them. So Right.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

Yeah, right. Was there anything that like stood out in school that you really enjoyed?

SPEAKER_02 5:14

Uh well, yes, I liked the band. I was in the band. Um, specifically, I I didn't care so much about playing an instrument. I did. I played the flute and then I was a Prussian. Um, but what I really enjoyed was I was on the color guard and then I became the drum major. So um, and that helped me when I went into the military. Marching was very easy for me.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

Oh, yeah, I can only imagine. Because people really knew how to mess that up in boot camps.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Oh, yes, they did. Yes, they did.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

Well, that's great. And so were you in band all through high school then?

SPEAKER_02 5:44

Yes, I was in, so my freshman year when I went to

Band, Color Guard, And Early Leadership

SPEAKER_02 5:47

it was Hackett High School at the time. Um, I was in the band, I played the flute, and then when I transitioned to public schools, I played the flute, I think just my sophomore year, and I did flute and and color guard, and then junior and senior year, it was just uh percussion and and drum major. So I mind you, it sounds it sounds great that I was the drum major, but uh our band was like 12 people plus the color guard, so it's kind of small.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

Oh, don't take it back. That's still an accomplishment.

SPEAKER_02 6:16

It was I loved it, I loved every minute of it, but but it was very small compared to some other schools.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Right. Right. So you make it through school and you graduate. So what year would you have graduated?

SPEAKER_02 6:25

89.

SPEAKER_00 6:26

1989. Okay. And what happens after graduation?

SPEAKER_02 6:29

Well, I went right to the army. In fact, before my senior year, I knew I was going in the army. Um, I went to a recruiter, my neighbor was going in, and so I went with him to the recruiter, and the recruiter asked me, What are you doing after high school? And I said, I'm going in the army. And he said, Don't you think you need to talk to me about that? I'm like, sure, but that's what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Right. Whether you help me or not, I'm doing it.

SPEAKER_02 6:52

And so he was like, Come back on your 17th birthday and we'll talk. And so we did. I went back at right after my 17th birthday, which is in September. And so I knew all through

Why She Chose The Army

SPEAKER_02 7:02

my senior year that I was going active right after graduation.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

So So, you know, I know a lot of people in school at one point or another figure out what they want to do. What was it that made you go, this is what I'm doing?

SPEAKER_02 7:15

Uh-huh. Well, um, I I knew I wanted to do it for a couple of reasons. I had two older siblings, and um, I knew that my parents were potentially gonna have to pay for three people to go to college. Um, and I didn't want to put that burden on them, so I wanted to do it myself. Also, um, my dad's best friend, um, who is the father of my best friend growing up, uh, was also in the army. He was a reserve um officer. He was a lieutenant colonel, and I think he retired as a colonel. Um, so I spent a lot of time on drill weekends with them. Um, I saw the army. Um, I was interested in West Point. However, I knew that I was not by any means qualified for West Point. I did not have the athletic or the um educational uh scorecard, we'll say, Right to get me in. So I knew I was gonna go in the army. I just I was I was very um interested in it and attached, and and that was just what I wanted to do. I think there was even a couple of Halloween where I went dressed as a soldier.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

So it was gonna happen.

SPEAKER_02 8:21

It was happening, yeah. I was very, I don't know, I just set my mind to it. This is what I'm doing. And the other reason, of course, is because I'm very patriotic. I've always been very patriotic, and that was you know, I'm gonna serve my country.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

So yeah. Well, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 8:34

Thanks.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

So you uh you graduate and off you so how long uh between graduation to boot camp?

SPEAKER_02 8:40

Uh a couple of weeks.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

Oh, so you didn't even get your summer.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

No, I left um July 10th, I believe. July 10th, 1989 is the day I left. My first day was July 11th.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

So and you went where for basic?

SPEAKER_02 8:53

Fort uh Fort Dix, New Jersey.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

Okay, lovely Fort Dix, New Jersey.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:57

Everyone has great things to say about it. So talk to me about getting to basic training. What what was that initial impression like? Like, I don't I don't think you were too surprised, but like was it what you expected?

SPEAKER_02 9:11

Well, um, probably not exactly what I expected, but I also I did have some inclination from you know, um I'll tell you his name is Ron. Yeah uh from Ron as to what to expect. And then of course my recruiter gave me some of what to expect. Um But when I went, I actually thought I was ready to pass the PT initial assessment, but I wasn't. So I

Basic Training And The Mind Game

SPEAKER_02 9:36

had to go to what they called FitCo uh fitness company and spend a couple of weeks there getting getting my strength built up so that I could uh get into basic training. So I was pushed back a little later than I had expected. But when I went in, you only had to do one push-up if you were a female to get in, just to get in. And I could not even do one push-up correctly.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

That's pretty rough.

SPEAKER_02 9:58

It was rough, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

Yeah, we were going through your yearbook too. And you had you had really cut your hair off before you went to basic.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

I did, yes. Um, I didn't want to deal with it, you know. Um, I wanted I I wanted it to be just easy for me to do, and so I just had like we call it a pixie cut now, but it I don't know what it was called back then. I I didn't like it, but I had it. It worked it made easy, yeah, because I didn't have to worry about braiding my hair or putting it up in bun like they do now, or even like the other um soldiers that were in basic with me, they you know, I didn't have to do any of that, right? I just wash and go.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

Yeah, yeah. So not not your favorite move, but at least it worked.

SPEAKER_02 10:37

It worked.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

Yeah. So what else about boot camp? How how was the rest of the experience done?

SPEAKER_02 10:42

Um, I so when I went in, I I mentioned earlier I was a bit of a crybaby before I went in the army. Yeah. And so, you know, they start yelling at you and I'm in tears, um, doing push-ups, whatever, you know, because I'll make you do the push-ups. Um, and at some point, I couldn't tell you exactly when it was, but at one point, I it finally just clicked to me that it was a mind game, which is what it is. It's uh they want to test your uh test your mind, your emotional intelligence, and your uh actual actual intelligence. Right. Um, and so I just turned it into a joke. So if they started calling me for something instead of crying because I thought I was in trouble, I just yelled at the top of my voice, like they were yelling at me, move in, drill sergeant, and I would just run to them. And they got the biggest kick out of it. Now, did they call on me more often? Yes, they did, but they got a kick out of it and they liked me.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

So yeah, it wasn't you weren't you called out because you were in trouble at that point.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

No, uh uh no, it just but I was very easily, you know, very intimidated and and could really, you know, break down easily for anything um in high school or uh, you know, in younger years. And so that really built my strength up.

SPEAKER_00 11:54

Yeah. So it was like turning point then where you stopped doing that.

SPEAKER_02 11:58

I stopped crying about it and started just doing something about it and just learning that you know what that listen, you put your combat boots on the same way I do.

SPEAKER_00 12:05

So yeah, right, right. So so I'm curious, like did you come home right after basic training then?

SPEAKER_02 12:12

So did you go to after basic? I went straight to AIT, but because I was pushed back a couple of weeks from fit because of fitness company, I had to wait for the next class, and that was at Fort Ben Harrison.

SPEAKER_01 12:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

And so while I was there, my mom and dad and Ron and his wife came down to visit. So my first day at Fort Ben Harrison, um, I'm in there unpacking into my my wall locker, and I hear my name, and of course I'm Yastro Sargent running. And they uh cracked that one up too.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

But um, what's going on?

SPEAKER_02 12:46

He was like, um, what is happening? So um uh anyway, so I got to actually go spend the day with them because there was nothing for me to do while I waited. So I went and spent a weekend. Um, I still had to stay in the barracks and be home, you know, be back in time. But um I I do remember very, very clearly we went to the PX together and we were gonna go to dinner. We did end up going dinner at the officers' club, which was very intimidated

Finance AIT And First Assignment

SPEAKER_02 13:12

as a private wearing my ugly glasses. Um, but in between, I just crashed on there. They were staying at visiting officer quarters. I crashed on the bed and took a really long nap that was way overdue.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

Oh, yeah. I think I think naps are highly underrated. Yes, that's definitely true. So did your did your parents notice a change in you then? Um after basic?

SPEAKER_02 13:36

Yeah, I think they did because it was definitely I was definitely quite different. Um, a a lot stronger physically and emotionally.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

So yeah. Yeah, were they like, when are you gonna cry? We're waiting for you to cry that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

No, they didn't ask that, but they might have been wondering.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

Yeah, yeah. In the back of their head, they're probably thinking something's changed here.

SPEAKER_02 13:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:55

So what was your AIT? What what did you actually go to school for?

SPEAKER_02 13:58

For finance. Okay. So did that at Fort Bend. In fact, when I went, when I did go to when I first joined and I went to the maps to get my job, I told them I wanted finance, and they said, Well, we don't have that. And I said, then I will go next door to the next recruiter and they will find it. And they found me a slot.

unknown 14:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Isn't it interesting how magically that happened?

SPEAKER_02 14:18

Yeah, I just I knew that's what I was gonna do, and I wasn't I wasn't gonna accept anything else. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

So And now how long were you at AIT for that?

SPEAKER_02 14:25

Oh, how long was that? I I I don't remember how long I was there. I want to say maybe um, well, uh probably probably about two and a half, three months.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:34

Yeah. Because I do remember I got to my first duty station early December. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:39

And then what was your first duty station?

SPEAKER_02 14:40

Fort Ord.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

By the way, if you're not noticing a trend here, Fort Dix is closed, Fort Ben is closed, Fort Ord is closed.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

You've caused some things to happen. And and what was so what was it like being at your first duty station? Because now you don't have to yell yes, drill sergeant, right?

SPEAKER_02 14:56

Well, the first thing I noticed is when we went to they had like an in-processing station that you would go through and spend like a week there, you'd get all your gear and everything, and they'd assign you to your unit. And the very first thing that we uh uh got was the person who was checking us into transition was like, Oh, aren't you aren't you girls cute? Because there was like four of us that were there, five of us actually, five of us, and they were just like, You're so cute. Yes, sergeant, no sergeant. We don't do that.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

You just knock that off right now.

SPEAKER_02 15:27

Yeah, so of course we still did it because you know it takes a while to to get a you know get out of that, and you still have to do that with respect to your um to your other um soldiers anyway. So um, but it was very fun. Uh, I will say at Fort Ord, the one thing that we really noticed was that the ratio of male to female, so everybody knew who we were. So even our first weekend as we were uh walking to the PX

Fort Ord And Life As One Of Few

SPEAKER_02 15:53

or wherever, just random people would stop. Are you the new finance girls? Do you need a ride? You know, so um everybody knew who we were because there the just there weren't that many females.

SPEAKER_00 16:04

Yeah. What was that like for you to uh that's a pretty small minority uh to be in?

SPEAKER_02 16:11

Um it was very overwhelming. Also, it was fun from a growing up standpoint because growing up I was, you know, the crybaby and nobody really like I didn't date much in school because I was the crybaby, right? So um, but when you when I had gone through this transformation, I'll call it, and I get to the studio station with all these men, I got a lot of attention. Right. So um, so that was kind of fun.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

So did you learn how to discern the right kind of attention from the wrong kind of attention at some point?

SPEAKER_02 16:46

Not not nearly near up soon enough.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

Right.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Um, it took a long, and in fact, I would say way too long for me to discern the difference and and how to respond to it.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

So yeah. Well, I guess it's hard though if like you're not used to that. It seems some sort of special at the time.

SPEAKER_02 17:02

It certainly does. I was like, oh, okay. So um, but uh if I if I could go back and and change the way that I um received it, I think I would receive it differently now.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

Older you would definitely have a conversation with younger you.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

Absolutely, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

And how long were you there?

SPEAKER_02 17:21

I was there until I want to say 92.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

Yeah. 92. Um, and I actually got married before I left there. So yeah, I did get married to another soldier. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

So now was he in the same unit as you?

SPEAKER_02 17:35

No, uh, nope. Uh he was uh I don't remember what kind of unit he was in. He was a motor sergeant. He was a motor sergeant. Um, but um but we met and dated and got married way too soon.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 17:50

And went, and then we both ended up on orders to Korea. So uh when we left, we went to Korea and we did not want to spend two years there, calling it an accompanied tour. So we went unaccompanied and both spent a year in our separate barracks.

SPEAKER_00 18:06

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

Probably the best year of our marriage.

unknown 18:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

Okay. So the marriage survived Korea, though.

SPEAKER_02 18:13

It survived Korea. Yeah. Not after Korea.

SPEAKER_00 18:16

So talk to me about Korea because when we were looking at again, when we were looking at your yearbook about Korea, um, your whole demeanor like changed. Like that seems like that was a pretty good uh deal for you.

SPEAKER_02 18:27

Yeah, it was. I think I really started to gain some of my leadership style there um and gain some of my confidence. Uh so totally different confidence than what I came out of basic training from. So um I I really enjoyed what I was doing, um, enjoyed the people I was with, and uh got to got to see a lot. I I think I started loving traveling at that point because there was there's a lot to see in Korea, and I got to do that. So um, so that was that was a really great memory. I'd like to go back because I know it's a ton different now than it was then.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

Oh, yeah. I can only imagine that it would be a whole different experience then, right?

SPEAKER_02 19:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

So tell me about uh get that bag off your shoulder. Because I saw that I saw that as a quote of yours in there.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

Yes, it was. Um, so I, you know, you're not supposed to carry now. You can. Now they have bags that you can carry, but back then you did not carry a bag on your shoulder. You

Korea Confidence And Accountability

SPEAKER_02 19:22

had a ruck, you could use a ruck, but you couldn't carry like a book bag or your lunch bag or nothing like that on your shoulder. And there was just I I would see that all the time, and that was just one of my pet peeves. I'm like, get that bag off your shoulders, the shoulder soldier.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Right.

SPEAKER_02 19:36

So, um, and again, that was kind of me starting to gain some confidence and leadership. Hindsight, is that really leadership to tell somebody to do that? No, but it was um that was part of my transition into that was really uh holding people accountable, I'll say.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

Right. And it's in a small way it is holding people accountable, but also it's not like it's not easy, and I don't think people get this. It's not easy when you see something wrong to point it out and to correct it. Um, and not because you're on a power trip, but because you care that that person's doing the right thing.

SPEAKER_02 20:10

Yep, exactly. It's not easy to do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:12

Even the small things.

SPEAKER_02 20:14

It's not people don't respect it when they get when they get the feedback. It's hard to receive and I'll say that I know in my job now, right? It's hard to receive feedback, whether it's good or bad. People don't always want to hear it.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

So right. Yeah. Most of the time I don't think they really want to hear it, but sometimes they need it.

SPEAKER_02 20:31

Yep, exactly. I need it.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:34

I need a correction sometimes too.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

So absolutely. So a year in Korea, and then where to from Korea?

SPEAKER_02 20:40

Fort Hood, Texas. Okay. Which luckily is still open.

SPEAKER_00 20:44

Yes. You haven't closed it yet.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

No, they haven't.

SPEAKER_00 20:47

Maybe.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

Right.

SPEAKER_00 20:49

And uh so did your husband go to Fort Hood with you then?

SPEAKER_02 20:53

Yes, he did. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

So now you gotta live together.

SPEAKER_02 20:55

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 20:56

Yeah, how'd that go?

SPEAKER_02 20:57

That was that was stressful um and didn't go the best. Um, and I was ready at that point to uh start looking at what's next after the army. So um, so we uh uh without getting into too many details, our our our ideas didn't align. Right. Um and it created some issues. So um I went to school, um became a police officer, and uh was ready to kind of transition into civilian life and and

Fort Hood Stress And Starting Over

SPEAKER_02 21:56

just other things got in the way.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

Yeah, yeah. So you parted ways.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

We parted ways.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

Well, and you know, the other thing too, I I don't think a lot of people realize this about like dual military couples, but when you're not together, you develop your own sense of who you are, and then when you get back together, you both still want to be like that who you are, but it it sometimes just clashes. Yeah. And it's not a good or bad thing, it just is what it is.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

So did you go to you went to school while you were at Fort Hood, knowing knowing that I'm not gonna continue.

SPEAKER_02 22:29

Yes. Um, I was going to I had looked into doing like changing my MOS into like a CID or something like that. So, because I was interested in criminal justice or in and all of that. So I started with going to school to be a police officer, and then I did that as a reserve police officer in Texas. So uh it was a weekend thing after I graduated. Um, and then once once I graduated, I think we were at that point, I knew that that things were not gonna continue anyway. So I was Like this will be my job that I can take home to Michigan because Michigan uh Texas license transfers to Michigan, or at least it did. Um, so it was perfect for me.

SPEAKER_00 23:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:10

Um at the time. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

So you get out.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

I got out.

SPEAKER_00 23:15

So now we know that we know that you went into the the Army National Guard, right? But did you know you were gonna go to the National Guard when you got out?

SPEAKER_02 23:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Okay, so that was that was just a natural part of your transition.

SPEAKER_02 23:26

Yes, it was. I wanted to I had already been in, you know, like um just short of eight years, and so I like why not just continue weekends and retire. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

The old one week in the month, two weeks in the year promise, right? Yes. Which turned out to be kind of the opposite, at least while I was in the year.

SPEAKER_02 23:42

I bet for you, yeah. For me, it was pretty much that.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So you were now were you what where was your duty station in the National Guard?

SPEAKER_02 23:51

So I had a few. My primary one was in Lansing for I did mil same job, military pay.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

Um, that was a struggle for a couple of reasons. Um the drive.

SPEAKER_01 24:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:03

It was a long drive. Um, and then also all of the people that work there, with the exception of me and maybe one other person are full-time employees.

SPEAKER_01 24:13

Right.

SPEAKER_02 24:14

So even though I was an E5, I got treated like an E1 and got all the crap ones. Yeah. Like I walked, I would walk by and there would be stacks of papers to be filed, travel, travel documents to be filed. And I'm like, you literally walked past the fire file cabinet to put it on that pile to wait for me to file it. Like I can process, I can process travel just as fast, or if not faster than you can. Like filing is not my job. It's part of it, but but they literally just saved it for me to do. And that was a real struggle for me. I really felt um underutilized.

SPEAKER_00 24:52

Well, yeah. I mean, you do have you have a lot of experience.

SPEAKER_02 24:55

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

I find sometimes in the guard people don't realize the experience you have, so they just discount you.

SPEAKER_02 25:01

Yeah, exactly. I also did um I worked for some time um in the signal company here in Kalamazoo. It was 126 when I first joined, and then a couple of years later when I ended up going back, it was one five six signal. Um so I just I worked primarily in the office. I processed their payroll there, um, any personnel type stuff I did. And then also I spent some time also working in the motor pool um doing some work there too.

SPEAKER_00 25:29

So she did all kinds of stuff then.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

I did. Put me in an office somewhere, tell me what to do, I'll just do it.

SPEAKER_00 25:35

Now, at the same time, you you work as a you worked as a police officer then?

SPEAKER_02 25:39

No, actually, so when I got off of active duty, I uh found out that I was pregnant.

SPEAKER_01 25:45

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 25:46

On the day that I got divorced. All happened on the same day. I got off of active duty, found out I was pregnant, and got divorced all on the same day.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

That's a lot of change.

SPEAKER_02 25:55

It was a lot of change. I drove home and I decided I don't think I want to do that uh as a single mom. Right. So I ended up starting as a temp employee at the bank. And 30 years later, I'm still here.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

You're not a temp employee anymore, though.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

No, I am not. I am not.

SPEAKER_00 26:13

That's that's quite a change, though. I mean, isn't it funny how life turns out way different than we thought it ever would?

SPEAKER_02 26:19

Yeah, absolutely. Um, in fact, when I was at Fort Hood, one of my assignments was I worked as a training NCO for my finance battalion.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

Um, and I got so much experience in that that it actually got me my first um like leadership role at the bank. Um, so I was hired as a facilitator. Um, and then from there I got into leading teams. Um, so I I I put the credit back on that, just the experience that I had um running our shop for training.

SPEAKER_00 26:49

So Right. Well, you know, there's not a lot of people who are 18 or 19 that get the sort of responsibility that you had um that you got from the military.

Banking Career And Earning A Degree

SPEAKER_02 26:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:58

Do you see that that was really a huge help?

SPEAKER_02 27:01

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 27:02

Like I feel like sometimes you're light years ahead of people you're competing with just because they don't have that experience that you have.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

Yeah. Although I'll say that throughout my entire career until very recently, I never had a degree. So there are a lot of people who have degrees, which puts them ahead in some aspects, but I had different experience. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

Yeah. So when did you get your degree?

SPEAKER_02 27:24

2024 in November. Oh, awesome. Yes, my bachelor's degree.

SPEAKER_00 27:28

So I was a late bloomer for my degree as well. Oh, yeah. I didn't get one right away.

SPEAKER_02 27:32

I kept working on it so all through, like when I was, I think at Fort Ord, I took a couple classes and then throughout, and then of course I went to school to become a police officer. And so I just did all these different versions of school. And I remember um the last time I took a class before I started my bachelor's um was an online class. And I was so overwhelmed. I'm like, I don't need to do this. I'm good in my career, I'm not doing this anymore. And so I quit the class, dropped the class, and never went back until um my employer provides a benefit for us for schooling. So um, so I pursued my bachelor's degree. I'm like, you know what? Let me do it. I wanted to be a good example to my daughter. Um, I think I was an example to my son for the military because he went in. And then now I wanted to be an example to my daughter before she graduated. I started my my college degree. So um it worked out. I loved it. I'm glad I did it.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:27

Yeah.

unknown 28:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

I think when you're going through sometimes when you're going through it, you're like, oh, what am I doing? But yeah, when you're done, it's like, oh, that wasn't as bad as I thought.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

Maybe I think it was better the second time because I work remote since 2017. Yeah. So taking classes at home was a whole lot different this time than it was like in 2010 or whenever the prior time was. So I was like, yeah, I ain't doing this.

SPEAKER_00 28:49

It's just not working out very well.

SPEAKER_02 28:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

And so you have a son and a daughter.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

And tell me a little bit about them.

SPEAKER_02 28:56

So Austin is my son. He is married um to his beautiful wife, Kenna. Um, he actually, after he served a couple of years in the military, came home. Um, and um, after COVID, he was trying to get his nursing degree, but he couldn't get into the classes he needed for labs. So he ended up moving to North Carolina with his dad um to help him with his business. And that is where he met Kenna. And they've been married just over a well, a year and a half.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 29:24

Um, and last year he went to the academy and became a Virginia State trooper. So they live in Virginia now. Oh. Um, and that's where her family is, so they have their family support there. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:37

Is there a little bit of pride in the fact that he became a police officer?

SPEAKER_02 29:41

Oh, absolutely. In fact, I got to give him his diploma because I had um law enforcement um in my background. So there were like three other people that got to hand out diplomas to family members. Um, I felt a little bit of imposter syndrome because they were all like retirees, and I'm like, yeah, I did it for nine months.

SPEAKER_00 29:58

But still you did it. Yeah, but still you did it. So oh, that's

Parenting, Faith, And Core Values

SPEAKER_00 30:02

great. Yeah. Now tell me about your daughter.

SPEAKER_02 30:04

So Logan is um, she's living at home uh most of the time. She hangs out with some good friends and she'll do some shipped and some other um some other jobs that she does a little bit here and there. She's looking for she's looking for some full-time employment. She was working, uh, but she had to have foot surgery. And so she is currently unemployed because of that. So yeah. So unfortunately, she had not been in her prior job long enough to apply for, you know, to to be able to do any type of leave or anything. So um, but but she's she's awesome. She did a year of ministry school. Um so like like my son, she's very strong in her faith and like me. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:47

Is that something that kind of runs through your family then?

SPEAKER_02 30:50

Absolutely. Absolutely. My mom and dad instilled that with that work ethic. Um, so uh we we very much have have strong faith.

SPEAKER_00 30:59

So tell me why that matters.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_00 31:03

Um like for military question, but just for you in general and for your family and for the military, all that stuff.

SPEAKER_02 31:08

I'll start with the military because I will tell you that when I'm standing in line and basic training and trying to get through the day, like I'm standing in line to eat and you're not allowed to talk to anybody, like you I just would stand there and pray. Um and anytime something, you know, scary, whatever, you know, like when you fire your weapon for the first time, say prayer, right?

SPEAKER_01 31:30

Right.

SPEAKER_02 31:30

Um, so I really feel like my faith kind of um it's my it's my core, right? It really helps me calm down if I'm upset about something. Um, it's helped me throughout my entire life. Um I I don't know, I would not be the woman I am today without my faith. Um, so and then I just think, you know, family. So um handling divorces, um, Logan's dad, I'm divorced from him, who also was in the military too. But um, you know, going through all of that, I handled it with grace. Um, so like I never talked bad about my ex to her. That's not what God would want me to do. So um, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:15

Yeah. Well, and I think two things. One uh is a person of faith, right? It doesn't mean that life's going to be easy, and it also does not mean that you're going to be perfect, right? Right.

SPEAKER_02 32:26

And I hear, and and I've said it myself, like God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Actually, the Bible doesn't say that, but it does say that He'll be with you.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

Right.

SPEAKER_02 32:35

He will be with you, and that is the most important thing. Like you're never alone, you have God. So um, so that's always been, you know, my my core, my strength is I know God's with me. So um, and I and I see that in my son. My son, uh, so we used to sing in the choir. My mom sang in the choir, my dad did for a while, so then I did, and my son did. My son is a wonderful voice. Um, and so even when he was in in the army, like he sang in the choir. He sings in the choir now, the church he goes to now. So I'll just absolutely love love that. So you have different different um traits and strengths coming from different places, and they all you can see them woven in throughout the lives of our family.

SPEAKER_00 33:19

So yeah. Yeah that's incredible.

SPEAKER_02 33:21

Yeah, thanks.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Yeah. I kind of got that from your dad too. Uh because you know, full disclosure, I just interviewed your dad for anyone listening. We just got done with the interview with your father. So um, you know, with all that said, we've covered a lot of stuff. Is there anything that we haven't talked about that you want to make sure that we do get to and that we do talk about?

SPEAKER_02 33:39

Um, I don't know. I mean, I got a million stories, but I I yeah, I don't know. You have to ask me a question that I can ask you.

SPEAKER_00 33:49

If you gotta if so if you've got a million stories, if you if you gotta think back on your million stories, right? What's what's one story that pops into your head that's like that's the story I want people to hear?

SPEAKER_02 34:00

Um let me give a lesson first because that actually prompts it. And I just said, ask me a question and then I'm gonna do something. So a lesson that I learned was um you have to be strong enough to stand up for yourself. You have to like you can't be disrespectful, you gotta follow the rules and all of that. But I'll say that um one thing that happened to me at Fort Ord is I wanted to do air assault. So Fort Ord was an air assault base, and so I could have gone to air assault, I was training for it, and my first sergeant told me flat out he didn't want women representing the unit. And I took that as an answer, and I should not have because that is not acceptable. It wasn't then and it's not now. Um, so I missed out on that opportunity because I just accepted that. As much as I hated the answer and I was so disappointed by it, what he shouldn't have said that. Um he should have allowed me to try out. If I didn't make it, that's my own deal, right? But that's on me. But he didn't even allow me the opportunity to try it. So um, so that was kind of disappointing. Um, good stories I like to tell when I was in Korea.

Learning To Stand Up For Yourself

SPEAKER_02 35:08

I didn't get to go go aerosol, but they had, I don't, I don't know if they still have it or not, but but this um they call it permissive TDY. So it wasn't like uh you're required to go to this, but I was I was able to go to it. A two-week training where we learned how to do Australian repelling. So we started on a bunny hill and we did obstacle courses, we did rock climbing up huge ledges. Um, and I was scared to death of heights, but I did it and I loved it. Um, made some great friends. Um, and then you know, just the experience, the very last day of the actual training, we did this whole course where you put all of it into use, including this massive um valley you have to go across and on a rope like like this. Oh my gosh, it was so hard. It was so hard, but I did it, and we ended at the last part of it was you went up this mountain and it was like a 900-meter mountain, and we repelled down the top 300. So it was amazing. We're we're climbing up this mountain as a as a squad and we're passing old ladies and goats and whatever, like, but we're and we're dying, but we're getting up there, right? Right and it was just so and you get to the top, and everybody looks like ants that's down on the ground, but it was so amazing. Uh, I have a picture of it somewhere, but I don't even know where. So um I was gonna tell you, oh, I was gonna tell you about my friend the friendships. I think that's important. So uh when I first got to Ford Ord, there were five of us, and we all went to AIT together. Um, actually, I think there was four of us that went to AIT together, but five of us that got there about the same time. And we were like the best of friends. Um it was we were so close. Two of us were roommates at AIT, and then when we got to Ford Ord, and I will tell you that the five of us are still talking today. And last year on Veterans Day, we went to San Antonio and stayed at an Airbnb for a long weekend. And you would never have known that we had not seen most of us had not seen each other in probably 20 some years, you know. So there's there's one that lives fairly, she lives in Chicago, so every now and then I see her, you know, if she's in town or if I'm over there. Uh, but but what a great experience. And and I think I'll say that like social media and and the iPhone, like COVID, that that really got us all further together because we started doing FaceTime. Because you know, you're stuck in the house.

SPEAKER_01 37:42

Right, we'll try to do right.

SPEAKER_02 37:43

So we

Military Friendships That Don’t Fade

SPEAKER_02 37:44

did like we we'll get on a FaceTime and talk for hours on end. And so we just kept talking about let's get together. And finally, uh 2025, I think, was the year where I said just book it. I think after I got my degree, I was like, stop, put, stop chasing life down the road, right? Yeah, just book it. And so I'm like, we're booking it. And I booked it and and we got together, and that was so fun. We're working on a next one. Um, and I mean, just to be able to reconnect and relive a few memories. We used to sing before we went to the bar, we would sing um Meatloaf Paradise by the Dashbone. Great song. Right. Great song. Every time we were going to the bar while we were getting right, we played that and we would sing it and dance it in our room. And so we relived that memory. Uh-huh. Um, that was fun. Um, and just, you know, just talking and having a good time. And it doesn't matter that, you know, that our we've all moved in our lives to different, you know, like we have different beliefs, we have different, you know, uh different sides of the political spectrum and all that. But one thing that I like, I don't care. I want to connect with you as a person. And so it was really great to be able to just get together and you would have never known that it that it had been so long.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

So I think that's the beauty of military relationships that unless you're in, you don't get it. Like I can I can do that. I can pick up the phone and talk to someone I haven't talked to in years, uh-huh, and nothing changed. I mean, as far as the relationship goes.

SPEAKER_02 39:12

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:13

Yeah. You just pick up where you left off.

SPEAKER_02 39:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:15

It's it's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 39:16

Well, thanks for sharing that. Yeah. And I I appreciate you sitting down talking this afternoon. Um, I always ask one final question though, uh, to wrap up the conversation, and that is if someone's listening to your story a hundred years from now, and you and I aren't probably aren't going to be here a hundred years from now, but you never know.

SPEAKER_01 39:34

Right.

SPEAKER_00 39:35

Um, what would you want people to take away from this?

SPEAKER_02 39:39

Well, I want I I everyone that anyone that's listening or considering going in or whatever, I think it's important to to to think this too. But I'll say, even especially for women, is you can do hard things. You can do it. Um it doesn't you don't have to have the experience to go in. They're gonna teach you what they need, what they need you to know. But also I feel like it is so important for us to be able to voluntarily give what so many others have. Like, I did I ever see combat? Absolutely not, but I was willing to. Um, and there's not a lot of people that will do that these days. So I think it's important to remember that um we need people who will do that. As long, you know, this country's not gonna survive without it. And we need people that are willing to just

You Can Do Hard Things

SPEAKER_02 40:29

to to step outside of your comfort zone and go. Um, I absolutely loved my service. I would do it again. I would love to have the lessons I know now to when I did it again, but I would do it again. Um and and try different things, right? So I went in, I told you I was I was set, I wanted to do finance.

SPEAKER_01 40:48

Right.

SPEAKER_02 40:48

Well, when I was in the National Guard, there were times where they're like, you want to help us in the kitchen? I was like, Yeah, I loved it. I'm like, maybe I should have been a cook.

unknown 40:55

Right.

SPEAKER_00 40:56

Or a mechanic or a hundred other things, right?

SPEAKER_02 40:58

Yeah, you could have you can learn new things. And that's the other thing about the military, is you don't always do what you're trained to do because I did training, I was the training NCO for a while. I then I worked in the in the kitchen for a little bit when they needed me on the weekends. Um, and you can learn so many skills that you never would have thought that you could do. So I know how to drive a Humvee, I know how to drive a deuce and a half and a five gun. Now, if I got in one, would I like to do it right now? Probably not. Maybe the Humvee. That'd be all right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:27

But you could if you needed to, right?

SPEAKER_02 41:29

I could, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 41:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:31

So all right.

SPEAKER_00 41:32

Well, thanks again for having me in your home and sharing your story with me.

SPEAKER_02 41:35

I appreciate the opportunity to do it, and I think I appreciate that you're gathering all of this from others.

SPEAKER_00 41:40

So absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 41:42

Yep. Thanks.

SPEAKER_00 41:44

Okay, thank you.