Imagine transforming your relationship from the inside out, all by focusing on your own personal growth and self-awareness. That's exactly what we're talking about in today's episode as we discuss the overlooked concept of 'the need beneath the need,' highlighting the necessity of understanding and owning our internal experiences. We also share effective techniques to enhance your listening skills - strategies that can help you connect on a deeper level with your partner. It's time to create more meaningful relationships by truly hearing and understanding what's being said, not just to others, but also within ourselves.
We also share a sneak peek into Ryan's brand new podcast, Find Your Game Day, which is all about living life with intention and purpose.
Checkout Ryan's Podcast: Find Your Gameday
Connect with Heidi
Work with Heidi
IG @realheidisawyer
If you enjoyed the show, please leave a review!
Checkout the Heart First Leadership Podcast with Ryan & Heidi Sawyer
Imagine transforming your relationship from the inside out, all by focusing on your own personal growth and self-awareness. That's exactly what we're talking about in today's episode as we discuss the overlooked concept of 'the need beneath the need,' highlighting the necessity of understanding and owning our internal experiences. We also share effective techniques to enhance your listening skills - strategies that can help you connect on a deeper level with your partner. It's time to create more meaningful relationships by truly hearing and understanding what's being said, not just to others, but also within ourselves.
We also share a sneak peek into Ryan's brand new podcast, Find Your Game Day, which is all about living life with intention and purpose.
Checkout Ryan's Podcast: Find Your Gameday
Connect with Heidi
Work with Heidi
IG @realheidisawyer
If you enjoyed the show, please leave a review!
Checkout the Heart First Leadership Podcast with Ryan & Heidi Sawyer
Welcome back to the show, excited to have my partner in crime here, ryan.
Speaker 2:Hello everybody.
Speaker 1:And today we're going to be talking about our next sort of step in the cycle of reinventing your relationship, which is focusing on yourself first. So just to recap what we've talked about so far in our previous episodes, we talked about slowing down and how reducing the things that we have coming in and kind of just slowing it, slowing ourselves in our reactions, and those types of things can help improve our relationship. We talked about decluttering and looking at what's serving us, what's not serving us in our relationship, who we want to be, the relationship that we want to have. And then, on the previous episode, we talked about the three toxic habits that may be sabotaging your relationship, and those were rehashing the past, staying stuck in your story. That's one, two was keeping score and three was complaining and blaming.
Speaker 1:So we've kind of gone through those topics and today we're going to talk about what I think is one of the most important ones, which is focusing on yourself first, and what that means is being able to look in the mirror and see that you are 50% of the problem, but you're also 100% of the solution when it comes to whatever you're experiencing in your relationship. It's real easy to do what we talked about one of those toxic habits of blaming and complaining and looking at the other person and thinking, well, if he just or if she just, then all of our problems would be solved. But it takes two. It takes two in a relationship, so how are you doing today?
Speaker 2:I am fabulous. Thank you for asking.
Speaker 1:So we want to real quick. Before we get further into this, I want to give a plug to your new podcast, which is the podcast we were previously on before. We decided that this conversation deserved a separate space as well, and that podcast is called find your game day, so can you tell us just a quick blurb about that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, find your game day is the conversation that lights me up, that sparks really a level of passion and intentionality behind everything that I do. It's a mindset, really a philosophy to life, where I'm making very clearly remember as an athlete, what it felt like I'm game day, the level of intentionality that I felt with my feet at the floor like it's game day Right Kind of pacing around with this like urge to create, to experience, to explore, to connect right to have that experience. So I believe that maybe not the same level of intense intensity is possible on game day that we experienced when we were athletes or coaches, but I believe the same level of intentionality can be experienced and therefore the same level of impact can be experienced on a day to day basis and especially when you're very clear about kind of what is your specialty, role, your purpose in life and what it is you want to bring to the world, you can take just about anything in your life and you can turn it into the intentionality behind your game day. So because we then learn how to create ourselves, we learn how to be more process oriented, the result driven, and the impact we make is permanent and impactful, because who we become becomes permanent and impactful. So that's really yeah.
Speaker 2:Find your game day is is taking anything from an athletic or competitive environment and helping them really hone in how they find their game day approach to a daily process, right to the to the daily practice. Or taking an individual in the same age group as myself and like I'm just getting started, I'm just getting warmed up here. People like I'm just starting to figure some things out. Right, how would I, why would I then, you know, pass the baton to somebody else to experience life fully, like I'm just now getting that figured out.
Speaker 1:So find your game day is for any, any age, that somebody who just is really wanting to immerse themselves in the process of becoming I love that and I think that that ties in so well to the conversation that we're having today, which is about focusing on yourself first, because what we realize in trying it on which is one of our principles of transformation is that we've got to try something new. Just like you try a jacket on, you got to try a new one, something new. Just like you try a jacket on, you got to see how it fits. You have to actually put it on and do it to see how that lands for you, and we've done so much of that in our relationship to trying on. You know different ways of splitting up responsibilities, trying out different ways of connecting with each other, trying out different ways of communicating, trying on different ways to work together within our businesses and us doing the podcast together, something we really enjoy. So I'm glad that we're still doing it together over here. But for you to be able to realize, through the process of starting these conversations about relationship, that something was missing for you and that was this, this conversation about competition, this conversation about high performance, this conversation about finding your game day, and so I'm so happy and excited that you have that space to fully express yourself, to unleash, to let that out, and I think it's really important for us to think about that within the context of our relationships.
Speaker 1:You know, focusing on ourself means that we are learning how to meet our own needs, and sometimes those needs are for ways to authentically express ourselves, whether that's doing something that you enjoy, which might be a hobby, maybe it's art, maybe it's singing whatever that is for you in your case, doing this other podcast and being able to fulfill those desires and meet those needs for ourselves.
Speaker 1:Because when we, as individuals, learn to meet our own needs in a in a more effective way and we learn to see what those needs are and everything in personal development starts with awareness you become aware of a need and, rather than looking to your partner or the world to meet that need, you go. How can I do that for myself? And that's really what we're doing with these, these shows, even just on a micro level is we're finding conversation we want to have and we're meeting our own needs for it. And I think that you can. You listening, you can think about what, something in my life that you know is missing, or something that I feel I need from my partner, from the world, and how could I potentially meet that need for myself? What comes up for you with that?
Speaker 2:Well, the first thing that comes up is making sure that we give us a real quick illustration into what needs are.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that's important.
Speaker 2:So let's just simplify it right, because maybe you might want to do a podcast about that so I might really unpack in each need but hierarchy of needs. We don't look at them as a hierarchy as much as we look at them as a cynical approach, meaning that they kind of all feed into each other. So physical well-being is food, water, shelter, touch. Most of us have that need met in the sense of where's the roof over?
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you're listening to this on your phone, you probably have those basic needs met.
Speaker 2:You probably have, you know. You know that you have food in the freezer for order, in the fridge for tonight. Anyway, right. Then it's connection, okay, so connection to yourself, higher power to each other, like we are tribal beings, this one is absolutely huge. And then it's sense of self or autonomy, that you feel separate and individual. And then it's meaning or purpose, contribution, significance. So these four are your basic human needs and we operate from a place where we a lot of times are conditioned to put our sense of okay, mean. Our needs are met in things outside of us, in roles, in money, in achievement, in accomplishment, but a lot of times we do it in significant others or relationship right.
Speaker 2:Where, if they that we actually look to because we're trained to be so outwardly focused, we look to our significant other to make us feel okay, like if they're not okay, we're not okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's a whole codependency thing going on there.
Speaker 2:And that's a slippery slope. So to recognize what the need is, and one of the basic, fundamental ones is that, even though we are around more people than we ever have been before, because there's so much, so many more people right and we live in bigger and bigger networks, right.
Speaker 2:Our kids are walking the hall with 1500 kids in high school, right? The reality is, if you look at studies, that we feel alone, we are lonely as a society, and so that would be the place for me. The first one that pops in my mind is connection. Is connection meaning that, especially for a relationship to happen, that means that, instead of and this sounds kind of crazy like wait a minute, but aren't you in relationship for connection? Yeah, that should be the spontaneous thing that happens, though it shouldn't be the thing you're seeking, right? So, first and foremost, if I'm going to meet my own needs with connection, that means that I'm going to connect with myself, I'm going to be familiar with myself, I'm going to love myself, I'm going to accept and release judgment within myself, and for me, self is this I don't know how deep you want to go on your podcast here, but self, big self, little self. However, you want to look at that spiritual connection as well. I mean, the ultimate connection is the divine, is the absolute, is being itself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's the higher power.
Speaker 2:So like starting there creates an inner sense of connection. That then it becomes rather easy for me to be someone that you want to connect with.
Speaker 1:Yeah, come connected to connect right, Come connected to the relationship by being connected within yourself first.
Speaker 2:So that's the first place and fundamentally I'll just say this, and then you take the conversation wherever you want to take it. But if you want to experience more love, be easier to love. And to be easier to love means you love yourself and that you have this sense of well-being that comes from within because you're connected. You're connected and you do this every day. You connect to yourself, you connect to a higher power. So that to me immediately is what it?
Speaker 2:comes to, and I know without a doubt that I'm a better, I'm a better father, I'm a better friend on the days that I intentionally do that, versus the days that I don't. But I'm not looking to you now. Does it help when you also are very warm and welcoming to me? Sure, but I check in with myself when I find myself feeling like I need that, rather than that's like icing on the cake, that spontaneously arises through you doing the work individually, me doing the work individually to meet our own needs and then coming together organically, authentically and spontaneously.
Speaker 1:So one of the things that I'm hearing is we're looking for the need beneath the need, right? Because oftentimes what we're thinking that we want to happen is actually something that we believe will meet a deeper need, something like connection, right? So let's just use the example of if you're frustrated and you feel like your partner is not a good listener, I need them to listen better. What you're really saying there is you want to feel connected, you want to feel heard, you want to feel seen. So there's a couple of different directions when we're talking about this. Remember, the topic is focusing on you first. That means that you take 100% responsibility right for your own internal experience. There's a couple of different ways that you can go with that. Okay, I want my partner to be a better listener. I wish they would just listen better. It feels like they're never listening to me. So there's-.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I'm going to real quick.
Speaker 1:So then they throw in.
Speaker 2:You don't listen to me.
Speaker 1:You never listen.
Speaker 2:And what you do is you're then creating this level of resistance between you because you're focusing on the person doesn't do.
Speaker 1:Right. So that's a negative belief about the person and we have to be careful of that. We always say try to see each other with new eyes. We really strive to see each other with new eyes every single day, because maybe you didn't listen well yesterday, but today's a new day and it's unfair not to give someone the opportunity to write the ship to be a better listener today. But there's a couple of different ways that we can go with that. When we're looking at what is the need underneath the need, what's the need beneath the need, so we always want to point it back to ourselves. Why? Because you are the only thing that you have full control over. If you figured out how to control another person, please let me know. I haven't figured that out yet. I think that would be amazing if we could get everyone to do what we wanted, but that's just not the way the world works.
Speaker 2:It's falling in line.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let me know if you figured that out. I've been I spent a lot of time trying to figure that out how I could control others. Never could get there. But what I did realize is I can control me, I can control my reaction. I can control what I'm making this situation mean about myself within the context of my own mind, my own experience of it. So if I'm thinking I want my partner to be a better listener, then I'm going to ask myself the question could I be a better listener?
Speaker 2:Either to yourself or to the other.
Speaker 1:Right, and that was my second one. Okay, yeah, so could I be a better listener? Okay, yeah, I think we all could be a better listener. So the answer is probably, if you're coming to this with honest curiosity and self-compassion, you're going, yeah, I probably could be a better listener.
Speaker 1:Okay, what are some things that people can do to show me that they're listening?
Speaker 1:When I'm looking for my partner to be a better listener, do I know what I'm looking for? What does that look like? Are they reflecting back to me with their words? Are they giving me eye contact? Are they looking up from their device or whatever it is? That's the distraction, right. Are they giving me some type of body language or physical cues that they're listening? Okay, great, now I've defined what that looks like for someone to be listening to me. How can I practice that with my partner or with anyone else? Practice is practice. Let's get better at the skill of being a good listener, being genuinely engaged and connecting with another person, and the more I practice at that, the better I get at connecting with others and the more likely my partner is going to want to connect with me. So that's one. What does that look like and how can I practice that.
Speaker 1:The other side of that is what you just said. How can I be a better listener to myself? How can I take a look at what's going on inside and listen to, maybe, what my body's telling me, right? So by the sensations that are happening in my body, by the kind of looking at the thoughts that I'm having and really paying attention to that, not just distracting yourself and moving on. It's annoying when you're talking to someone and they're looking down at a device or being distracted and not paying attention to you. But how often are you doing that? Within yourself, something pops up, a sensation, a feeling and you immediately distract yourself away from it. Okay, okay, I'm giving you. I can tell you want to say something.
Speaker 2:Hang on, yeah, go on forever. I mean I just every time. I just I was just in a group setting this morning with a group of men that I mentor, and it's always just not amazing to me, but also amazing to me at the same time, like I now become, it has become familiar to see how unaware we actually are of what's going on in there Right. So fundamentally and I'm not saying that again this is always well, yeah, but the moment you yeah, but something like come back and go inward for yourself, like how well do you actually know yourself? So here's what I kind of mentioned a moment ago.
Speaker 2:It's from a book. Actually, I'm not through the book yet, so I'm hesitant to like suggest the book, because it's one of those things where you think the book's good and you're halfway through it, but then you didn't even the second half, like well, I wish I would. So I'm not gonna tell you the name yet, but I will soon. I'll be done with it next couple of days. But one of the things I talked about to be better at connecting with other people get better at boredom.
Speaker 1:Interesting.
Speaker 2:Get better at being alone, get better at getting, which to me, means there's a level of familiarity you have with yourself, which means you're spending time with yourself, means you're listening to yourself. That means that you are experiencing you right. And so, yeah, how we do that right? That's prayer, maybe it's meditation, it's breath work, it's internal work, it's time in nature. But, yeah, go out and spend time alone and then guess what's crazy about that? Like, the better you get at doing that, the easier it is for you to connect. That's focusing on you first. That's being able to meet your own needs. That's being able to go inward, getting to know, allowing yourself to feel heard, to feel seen, to be enough, to feel worthy, to feel adequate, to feel lovable these things internally and then come to a relationship with a clean slate, not expecting or needing anything from anybody. I'm gonna tell you something that's love.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the release of the making someone feel in a sense obligated to act or behave a certain way. I need this from you To make you okay.
Speaker 2:I need to be acknowledged from you. These are my love languages. You know what I mean. I need this much of physical touch and approval so I can still feel like I'm a good enough man, because there's a level of attraction there, because you wanna touch me and all these things. That's all putting my sense of being okay in somebody else. That means that.
Speaker 1:I'm not okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:That means that I'm not okay in here, right? And so, yeah, I kinda lost my train of thought.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, what if we stopped looking at? So I think that's a great example of the love language that you're talking about. This physical touch we're talking about. If you're not familiar, it's this book the Five Love Languages. We're not huge fans of it, to be honest, because it's a lot of contorting yourself into a pretzel to make someone else feel okay. And what we're all about in the conversations that we wanna have is we wanna empower you to learn to meet your own needs, to focus on yourself and to come to your relationship with a full cup, and hopefully your partner can also do that. But all it takes is one person. It takes one person to do this and it can completely transform your relationship. So let's use the example of the physical touch and this you're saying, like from a man's perspective, like I need to be reassured that I've got it going on. I'm hot, you find me attractive, whatever, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you but-. I'm a man, right, fundamentally. If I were to describe that in the physical realm, it'd be to be wanted.
Speaker 1:To be wanted, yeah, Right. So how can we then take a look at if if the partner is not reciprocating or they're not wanting to engage, okay, the need is to be wanted. So how can we potentially, you know meet that desire for ourselves within, you know, the feeling that you're trying to get to, to feel good enough? And then how can we also look at our partner with a sense of curiosity and compassion and say, okay, maybe this actually isn't about me, Maybe this has something to do with what their internal experience is and allowing them to have their experience without making it mean something about us?
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, so you're explaining the two only actual things that we have control over in one moment. You already mentioned it once. If you guys caught, it was a response and what we're making that mean. So let's say you don't, you're not in the mood right to like engage with me at all physically. Well, my, my responsibility is to not take that personal. It's one of the four agreements, you guys. I read the four agreements, Check it out.
Speaker 1:That is a great book, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so to not take anything personally because it legitimately has nothing to do with you, Like this is. This is the mind bend piece of what we're talking about.
Speaker 1:That's a hard thing for us as human beings to believe.
Speaker 2:Focus on you first means that whatever the other person is experiencing, what they're resisting, what they're saying no or yes to right has nothing to do with you Absolutely nothing. Right, like the general, has everything to do with what's happening inside of them. So why would I put so much weight on your mental or emotional or physical desires or state on a daily basis? Because now I'm allowing for my internal state to attach to your roller coaster, right, right? I'm just going to tell you something that I've noticed the more psychologically safe I'm able to create internally for me, the more of a rock that I feel like on a daily basis as I do more and more of this work and I'm progressing towards learning how to meet my own needs and being okay regardless, right, the more that I find you leaning in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's magnetic.
Speaker 2:To connect with me. Yeah, right, yeah, it's fundamental Right. Think back to when you're a teenager, people Right and like, if you're a dude chasing a girl and you chase a little bit too much now, she was from interested in you to not want anything to do with you.
Speaker 1:Oh, this guy's clinging. It's getting creepy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a game where we're playing a little bit Right, this is the inner game of relationship. It's like it's the inner game of life. Right, this is the ability to be like I'm good regardless, right? So if you're in a relationship with a young, new, vibrant relationship, right, it's like exciting and you kind of have this little bit of a chip on your shoulder like, oh no, I want to hang out with you, but if we don't, that's cool, right. Or like, all right, see you later. That other person's even like oh, wait a minute.
Speaker 1:And when we're younger we do it more as a game. But yeah. And then in maturity and later in your marriage or other relationships. You're doing it from a place of oh no, my needs are met, I'm okay, so the place we want to get to is not a game. Right.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying that, yeah. I'm just saying that this is how sometimes it plays out. You can recognize it when you're a kid, right, that, like you know as a man, when you got too clingy, you pushed her away, right? She felt like whoa, easy dude, like you're going to have to learn how to meet your own needs a little bit, right, if you want to anyway. So what I'm saying is this is that if you can wake up in the morning and you can do the type of work that we're talking about, where you're okay, regardless of what your bank account says, regardless, that's a physical well being.
Speaker 2:What the scale says, right Scale says what the mood of your spouse is in, right. If you can meet your own needs to where you're not making anything mean anything negative about you, that you can place the meaning on things in life that you decide Right, then in the both of you are doing this. Then you're able to come together and say, like I choose you, even though there's nothing I necessarily need from you, like I just choose to be in relationship with you, like I choose you Right, that's love.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:That's unconditional, otherwise it's a conditional thing. That then there's all of these, all this pressure that's built up around. Well, they have to be a certain way for me to be okay.
Speaker 1:I've heard that described as like you have a manual for the other person and how they're supposed to operate, but most of the time they have no idea what you've written in there as the rules.
Speaker 2:And you're probably adding rules as you go.
Speaker 1:Right, oh, but now I don't like that, so you better not do that again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Now, but now this. But wait a minute. You know, and you saw some movie like well, I like when they do that. So now, all of a sudden, I'm going to add that rule at the end of this text, but I didn't tell you about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, our un-unsaid rules for other people. We can look at those things and always point it back, point the mirror back to yourself and go. Okay, what is this showing me within myself where I can improve and control? The only thing that you have control over, right Is your response, is what you're making it mean about you, and I always think it's a great opportunity to do a little bit of a turnaround, right, if you're saying that your partner should do something you know, maybe you should try it on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so yeah, I don't know how far down that hole you want to go?
Speaker 1:That's a whole other. We could do a whole other podcast, but let's just introduce this real fast. Introducing it, yeah, let's introduce this real fast.
Speaker 2:So if your partner or anything in life really but as we're talking about relationship here but if your partner has a specific way of being or habit or behavior that bothers you, right, it kind of hits your stuff, right, there is no way that, if you are taking responsibility for you and focusing on you first, you can take that thing that they're doing, the way that they're being, that habit or behavior, and you can become aware of what's happening inside of you in a way that actually can liberate that stuck energy inside of you so that no longer hits your stuff. Now I'm just going to throw this out there. This is deep. If you're able to do that and they don't change anything and it no longer bothers you, then who is the problem? If their behavior, their way of being, bothers you, whose problem is that? It's your problem, because it's bothering you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're the one having the problem.
Speaker 2:You're the one having the problem and you're then reaching out and bothering them with your problem. If it's something that you can work with internally to be able to let go of, to no longer bothers you, is it still a problem? It's no longer a problem, whether that's them spending X amount of time getting ready to go out or them whatever I don't know watching this time, screen time or whatever.
Speaker 1:Start with the paper cuts of life, the very, very small thing. See what you can allow yourself to. Take a look in the mirror. Why is this bothering me? Is it the person's eating a bunch of junk food but also hey, guess what, I'm not eating as good as I could either. I'm sitting here judging them for it. There's always, when it comes to judgment, there's always self-judgment that's underneath it as well. It's taken that opportunity to look within ourselves and go am I taking responsibility for this situation? When I decide that I am taking responsibility, is this something that I can let go of and no longer make it a problem?
Speaker 2:What is even possible. This might be really even harder to understand, but I'm just going to tell you, I'm just going to throw this out there. When you stop letting it bother you and it passes right through you and no longer hits your stuff because you let it go, you let go of the internal blockage that's causing that thing to hit those thorns inside of you, it's very possible that you now have created the environment with any of that. They no longer do the thing that spontaneously your environment transforms around you because you're no longer resisting and judging and attaching and identifying. Did they? Why don't they do the thing? Why don't they stop doing this thing Now that no longer they do?
Speaker 1:the. Thing.
Speaker 2:Huh, that doesn't bother me anymore. I'll let that go Interesting. Then spontaneously or at a time they stop doing that thing. This is say I'm going to take a reference about. I'm the female in the environment because I think most men probably watch more TV than women do. I'm going to say maybe it bothers you how much TV he watches.
Speaker 1:Okay, he's always watching the news or sports or something. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I just wish he'd get out that TV. The moment that you that I, as the person who is bothered by how much TV you watch stop letting that bother me all of a sudden, potentially energetically in this environment, they just naturally turn off the TV and say hey, you want to go for a walk?
Speaker 1:Because you stop resisting them to where they're. Yeah, it's so true.
Speaker 2:I'm going to say it's possible that either way you win them. Watching TV no longer bothers you. You win.
Speaker 1:You win.
Speaker 2:Yep, they. You create the environment where they consciously then decide or unconsciously decide to just to go ahead and turn the TV off and then connect with you and go for a walk or go for a hike or do something else or different, or play a game or something whatever. Get involved and cook and dinner or whatever that thing may be. You win.
Speaker 1:It doesn't know. Let's just clarify it. It doesn't work. If you're just pretending that you don't care, you have to energetically release the resistance to the thing. That's happening, right, you know? Oh well, I'm pretending like I don't care and he's not changing, that's avoiding. That's still weird energy You're putting off.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to put that up. That's called suppression, right? That's not what we're talking about, right?
Speaker 1:So you can literally be able to release this thing and start with something really small and then and see what happens. Yeah, and it seems spontaneous, but it's completely related. Yeah, 100% yeah. So just taking a look at when there's something going on within your relationship and taking a look at yourself first, focusing on yourself first and realizing like this is 50 50, the way that problems are created.
Speaker 1:But what I have control, 100% control over, is how I choose to respond and what I'm making this mean internally, within my own experience, and that's, I think, what. What I want to leave you with today is just planting a seed around this, and then next time we're going to be talking about creating a vision for your relationship, for your life, for each other, for the experience that you want to have, and how important that is to really have that set in your GPS right. You have to have a destination that you're moving towards and that's going to make all of the little turns and adjustments that you're making along the way make more sense, because you have a vision that's driving you to where you want to be.
Speaker 2:Anything else you want to close with You're 50% the problem and you can be 100% the solution.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I hope that empowers you. I hope that you feel inspired today to just think about the needs that you're having and what might be underneath those, and how you can start to meet those needs for yourself and how, in doing so, you can show up differently in your relationship. And I promise you, one person changing is enough to change your relationship. So until next time, thanks for listening.