Entrepreneur Expat

Why Passport Bros Exist

• Justin Keltner

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Online Business Tips to Working and Traveling In Mexico: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zGH0voCyOc&list=PLh3xKhkMgH_IA6s3KvB_g9Cc9Ze1eji8j&index=2


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Tips for Moving Overseas: Top 5 Remote Work Skills That Make Money: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFzjCrlNAL8&list=PLh3xKhkMgH_IA6s3KvB_g9Cc9Ze1eji8j



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Justin Keltner:

Over the past several weeks on our location independent business calls, we've spoken to dozens of single American and Canadian men, making over six figures, who are desperate to get out of the U. S. and Canada. Their reason? Dating sucks in the West. They would much rather go to Southeast Asia, Latin America, or Eastern Europe to date or even to find a wife. And don't just take it from us. Three days ago, CNA Insider, a Singapore based media outlet, published a documentary on these so called passport bros, and a recent Internation's survey found that 68 percent or more of single Western men living abroad reported feeling happier and more fulfilled in their romantic relationships than they did at home. In this video, we're gonna talk to you about what the F is going on here and give you all sides of the story.

Amanda Abella:

Welcome to Entrepreneur Expat, your go to channel for navigating location independent living and building a business abroad. I'm Amanda, and this is Justin, and we're both expats currently living in Mexico. If you're interested in figuring out how to leverage global opportunities for both love and work, Then stick around and don't forget to book a location independent business consultation. The link will be below this video for personal guidance

Justin Keltner:

and definitely like this video as well. Give it a thumbs up and that helps us out a ton with our mission of reaching a million entrepreneur expats and aspiring expats and subscribe to this channel and hit that notification bell if you're interested in more content like this.

Amanda Abella:

So, before getting into what the F is going on in the West and why all these Western men want to go to other countries to find women, let's first give a little bit of context in terms of our relationship and our perspective, because I think we're actually in a little bit of a unique position, uh, to comment on this. And the reason being that we were both born and raised in the United States.

Justin Keltner:

She's from Miami, which Arguably as

Amanda Abella:

Latin

Justin Keltner:

America.

Amanda Abella:

of Latin America. I'm from California,

Justin Keltner:

which arguably is Maybe still by some considered part of Mexico. So, you know, we're kind of We've got some latin vibes at heart

Amanda Abella:

So we, we were both born and raised in the United States, born and raised in Western culture, Western school system, so on and so forth. However, our families come from the more traditional cultures that these passport bros Are moving to I am latina. My family is from cuba and you are eastern european so we feel like we We feel like we have an interesting perspective because we've lived in both worlds and we get it And currently we are in mexico where we're actually seeing this stuff happen In real time. I was at the nail salon the other day, which inspired this Video as well as all the stuff coming out on social media again You And, you know, they were saying, you know, there's some girls there and they were on vacation in Cancun, Mexican women. And, you know, the American guys, uh, were very interested in them. And the American guys and the Canadian guys and the Spaniards are all hitting on the Latin women, telling them, hey, we don't want to date the women in the United States or Canada or even Spain. So all these Westerners are like, Looking for other alternatives. We are seeing it happen in real time. So what the hell is going on in the West? What is happening?

Justin Keltner:

Well, there are a lot of things that are going on in today's day and age. One of the first things that we're going to talk about in terms of what's going on in the West and why passport bros exist in the first place is this phenomenon of cultural and political polarization. So as I'm sure you know watching this video, likely as somebody from the U. S. or Canada or probably Western Europe, you're experiencing a lot of polarization in the culture today. You're seeing these two sides on total extreme opposites of the aisle getting farther and farther away. And when it comes to men, and women specifically, the men Young men in the West are becoming much more conservative, and young women in the West are becoming much more liberal, and this isn't just our opinion. Pew Research actually did a study on this in 2021, and they found this to be the case. So, that causes a lot of value mismatch between the two genders, and so, It creates this this big clash here We actually have a client alicia who's going to be on this channel very soon as well And she's a top one percent marriage counselor in the u. s She's got waiting lists to work with her at any given time and and she's she really knows her stuff and she talks about this idea that There's just this fundamental lack of relationship education, and because people don't know how to be, how to act in relationships combined with all of that crazy polarity that's being, uh, you know,

Amanda Abella:

compounded.

Justin Keltner:

and that's happening in society right now, that leads to chaos both in dating and in long term commitment. What else is happening, Amanda?

Amanda Abella:

Well, I just want to add to that a little bit. Like, being Latina and then you being Eastern European. And I actually learned how to date from Asian women, which was an interesting experience that I could talk about later in this video, if you're interested. I like the way Asian women date, they use their brains. Um, but, one thing I've noticed is that in these other cultures, that two of which we're very familiar with because we're from those cultures, that whole, like, butting heads thing, Doesn't happen as much like there's typical fights, you know, like oh you left the toilet seat up or oh, you know You left this where it wasn't supposed to be or you spent too much, you know There's like typical stuff, but there isn't this full on war on the sexes that you see going on in Western countries I can speak for Latin culture. There's a very heavy influence in Latin culture on Families number one period point blank end of story and everybody's just kind of in in agreement with that and there's also this fundamental understanding, at least in Latin America. I'm not sure about Eastern Europe. You'll have to speak on that 1 that it takes a village to raise a kid families. Number 1, all hands on deck and that everybody has their roles in that. And I think part of what's going on in the West is all of that's getting very confused. With a lot of extreme individualism. That's the vibe I'm kind of getting. I don't know about

Justin Keltner:

I would say it's that, uh, I think we're on, what, the fifth wave of feminism? It's that kind of fifth or fourth wave feminism combined with, uh, I mean, honestly, just a lot of societal contagion of these ideas. That you're, you're going to be happy if you do this and if you go totally against the value roles and, and you can speak to this a little bit more because you're a woman, um, but there's, there's certain aspects of feminism for sure, in terms of giving women opportunities and having more access to things that they didn't have before, obviously being able to drive, being able to vote, but then I think that there's a, there's a

Amanda Abella:

certain period

Justin Keltner:

history and I can't pinpoint exactly where it is, but it's been in the last probably couple of decades or so where it's really gotten bad. But it's, it's not just, Hey, we want to be at the same level as men. It's basically, we hate men. We don't want to have anything to do with them. We don't need them. And we want to, Essentially take over a lot of those roles that men have I'm curious what your perspective is on that as a woman

Amanda Abella:

Um

Justin Keltner:

and as a latina woman as well.

Amanda Abella:

Yeah, well on the western side you do get a lot of what you just said It just is what it is and the fight for equality and I agree first wave feminism was absolutely necessary I wouldn't be on this video if it wasn't for first wave feminism, but I do think things kind of grow to an extreme I did the whole independent woman very successful business. I don't need no man thing and i'm like wow this It's really just shoots you in the foot and it's that, um, because you're so hyper focused on your career and making money that everything else suffers. And I think for the majority of women, that's not a good deal. And I think the other thing that happens is. Oftentimes a lot of those women, you have to do work on this. I worked on this. This is what I learned from the Asian women. Uh, when I learned how to date from them. Um, there's this idea. A lot of times there's a struggle when you have like these hyper independent, very career driven women that they struggle a lot in relationships because they're two totally different skill sets, completely different skill sets. I think for a guy it's a little bit easier cause it's like you're masculine in the workplace and you're masculine at home. But for women, we have to do a bit more of the switching.

Justin Keltner:

Task switch. We have

Amanda Abella:

We have to do more of the task switching and a lot of women don't know how to do that or um The other thing that happens in the west is like let's say you do want something more traditional Well, then they look at you like you have snakes coming out of your head And that there must be something wrong with you But this is what I liked about asian women when I was learning from them on how to date Is that they're actually very practical like a lot of women think that asian women are like super subservient and stuff like that and Yes, but I think there's just a better understanding of, this is extremely practical, right? You want me to do these more traditional feminine tasks, well you're going to be doing the more traditional masculine tasks, and this is how this is gonna go.

Justin Keltner:

Yeah, do you want to go up on the roof and clean the, the water tank and the, and check the gas pressure and clean the solar panels?

Amanda Abella:

I'm also ambitious, but I don't necessarily want to lead a team of 20 people, you know, like it's exhausting, uh, for me to do that. And like I said, been there, done that I would, the agreement that we have is that I would much rather have you do that. But I also think, uh, number one lesson learned the hard way, but number two, we come from more traditional cultures. So that's not seen as. Anti feminist in any way. It's just kind of seen as common sense And I think what's happened with feminism in the united states is that common sense went out the window And as a result of that a lot of women are now shooting themselves in the foot Because they are working they're raising kids They're with men who are not masculine at all because let's face it. That is a huge problem in the united states And to be fair, anything seen as masculine right now in the United States is demonized.

Justin Keltner:

If you want to see a really good example, uh, check out the The TikTok video that's going viral where you have, uh, Western men talk about if they would go 50 50 with their women in relationships. And then you have Eastern European men. Russian men. Russian men answer the same question.

Amanda Abella:

Right, so the, the Western men were like, Nah, we're 50 50. She's a grown woman. She needs to take care of herself. There was obviously a lot of testosterone missing in a lot of those men. And you, you understand. And the Russian

Justin Keltner:

men What are you talking about? This is my wife. Of course I take care of her. She takes care of children. She takes care of house. She cooks borscht for us every week. What do you mean I'm not going to take care of my wife? Send her to work? Okay, if she want to work, she can work, but she's my wife. It's my responsibility.

Amanda Abella:

Yeah, and I think a lot of, uh, It's weird because you have women in the United States who are completely fed up with the fact that the men in the United States have gotten more feminine and I hear that's also happening a little bit in Western Europe.

Justin Keltner:

Yeah, they're kind of partly the cause of it,

Amanda Abella:

Yeah, it's like everybody's at fault here Like everybody has a role to play here and everybody's at fault and I think everybody's just confused And I think in latin american culture and asian culture and eastern european culture. There's just less confusion when it comes to those things and people People date in those cultures at least definitely in asia people date based on values not based on feelings You know, and for Western people, that's sometimes a very difficult thing to understand because that's not how dating is done in the, in the West anymore. No I

Justin Keltner:

here. It's like you hook up with someone off tinder and then They just kind of stay

Amanda Abella:

here in Mexico or like in the West. In the West. When I

Justin Keltner:

say here, I'm from America. So it's like you, you get on an app, whatever you, you have, uh, you have different things like that, you know, you have your feelings, whatever. And then all of a sudden, you know, you're in a relationship or marrying this person, right?

Amanda Abella:

The other thing that I find really interesting, especially between like the United States and, for example, Latin America, is that I feel like in Latin American culture, there's still like a polarity, uh, or an understanding of polarity between the sexes. And it's not to say Latin America doesn't have its problems, because it totally does in relationships. I mean, there's like worldwide polarity. Crisis levels when it comes to relationships, but I'll give a really concrete example. In Latin America, if a guy is chivalrous, opens a door for you, carries something for you, maybe he'll call you mi amor, mi vida, whatever. It's like not a huge deal.

Justin Keltner:

They're terms of endearment,

Amanda Abella:

Yeah. It's not a huge deal if a guy does that, but I know you've had experiences in the United States where it's like a massive deal

Justin Keltner:

I've had women actually get mad if I try to open a car door for them

Amanda Abella:

Western women? Yeah, western

Justin Keltner:

women. I haven't really dated many as

Amanda Abella:

you

Justin Keltner:

can see why um, but yeah, what western women were like, they actually will get offended if You you do something like that like open open a door or hold the door open at a restaurant Um, you know try to help them with something that's heavy like it's it's very odd Actually, it's it's very very odd. It doesn't make a lot of sense

Amanda Abella:

A lot of sense. You're not the first.

Justin Keltner:

guy,

Amanda Abella:

That I've Western man that I've heard that from. I've actually heard that quite a lot. And I always was confused as hell because I'm like, really, you want to work? Like I hear that from the women. And I'm like, you want to work more? Like he's willing to help you. Like, so you don't have to work as hard and you insist on working more. Like, why do

Justin Keltner:

you think that is, though? Like, why do women act like that?

Amanda Abella:

I don't know, but that's how they keep ending up with men who don't want to do jack shit. So that's, that's part of it. So I think, you know, it's just. There's there's like so much confusion going on in the united states when it comes to all of that That perhaps you know in latin america, it's not as big of an issue Uh asia, they tend to date very logically in asia I learned a lot from asian women when it comes to dating and in eastern europe. It seems that they figured out Okay, how to have that equity like like you said if she I mean you're like that with me if you want to work Go work, but it's not like you're You responsibility basically to like provide for everybody in this household and it feels like a lot of western women are finding themselves in that position because there's just mass confusion going on. I

Justin Keltner:

And then

Amanda Abella:

other way of explaining it. The same

Justin Keltner:

things that they're asking for they're really upset when they actually get them

Amanda Abella:

Yeah.

Justin Keltner:

because it's not it's not like here's the other thing too. It's not just feminism per se It's not the individual women in the west that are that are the issue It's like the social virus the social contagion of All these things that society is telling them that they should do and

Amanda Abella:

of the sexes this

Justin Keltner:

battle of the sexes. This, it has to be a clash all the time between women and men. So it's not the individual necessarily that's at fault here. But the fact that, that society keeps things like this prevalent and going on, that is a big reason why all these, these men, the so called passport bros, are leaving and going to other countries. And if you look at the stats,

Amanda Abella:

Um,

Justin Keltner:

I think we already said that, uh, 30 percent of U. S. adults have tried the dating apps. Only 12 percent of those actually found meaningful connections. The

Amanda Abella:

rest is basically just hookup culture. Yep. Which, of course, is leading even more to the social insanity. Going on in the united states because people aren't even getting into, you know, healthy sexual Relationships with each other which is causing all sorts of other chaos Yeah in society

Justin Keltner:

if you look at marriage rates and things like that the success rate of u. s The u. s. Well, the total rate of u. s marriages has dropped by nearly 60 percent since the 1970s And you look at these all these crazy like double digit over 50 percent in many states divorce rates It's not looking good and statistics show that 56 percent of singles are citing financial stability as their primary obstacle to settling down.

Amanda Abella:

which is fair because the United States and Canada and Western Europe keep getting more stupid with the cost of living and the high taxes and economic policy. So people. You know, and you're seeing that also in people not wanting to have kids. They're like, literally, what is the point? It cost me 50 grand just to give birth. Like why, why would I do that? Plus the culture's crazy. Why would I bring a kid into this? We hear that a lot. On the, on the location, independent consultations, um, as well. So let's talk a little bit about why some of these men are moving abroad. We've already talked about what some of the issues are based on our own experience, based on the data, and also based on what these men are telling us on these calls. And

Justin Keltner:

we talk to them all the time.

Amanda Abella:

all the time, right. And also what we're seeing here in Mexico, when Westerners and Latins Date and how that goes. And it seems to just work a little bit better in terms of a harmonious relationship, again, because there is that understanding in Latin culture, it being more traditional. So there's just less friction in that department. Okay. So let's talk about why some men look abroad, because before you and I got together, you were one of those men. I mean,

Justin Keltner:

to an extent, yeah, I don't know if I would classify myself as a passport bro per se. I mean, there were a lot of other reasons that I wanted to live in other countries. I'd say that, if anything, I was an entrepreneur expat first, and maybe a little bit of a passport bro second. It wasn't like a hundred percent my primary motive. I remember, uh, one of the things that led me to living in Columbia after I had visited there for a couple weeks was I was, uh, actually eating at a food truck in Austin and I spent about 25 on two, two tacos from a food truck and a Gatorade. I'm like, I could just go to Columbia and like have much better food for a tenth of this price. This is ridiculous. So that was kind of my primary drive and having like, uh, Freedom and not, not being a part of the culture, including the dating culture. But I can't deny that women in Latin America were also a lot more appealing. And that's why somehow I've, uh, now gotten engaged to a Latina. So

Amanda Abella:

it's,

Justin Keltner:

it kind of came full circle, even though she's from the U. S. Uh, you know, we have kind of those cultural similarities between like my Eastern European ness and the Latin culture. There's a, there's a lot of similarities. There's a lot of overlap. We'll have to go into that probably in a, in another video, but in the East, in basically Southeast Asia and Eastern Europe and Latin America as well, there's a lot more emphasis on family oriented dynamics. There's a lot more emphasis on traditional gender roles. There's a lot more emphasis on

Amanda Abella:

um,

Justin Keltner:

I mean, honestly, even just, just things like, like beauty and attractiveness and, and, and the woman like taking care of herself and things like that, that frankly are just more appealing to Western men. Like a lot of these, these women in the West are just hating on Western men because they like the things that they like. And if you look at it from a

Amanda Abella:

well, you're just operating like men Well,

Justin Keltner:

men. Exactly. And

Amanda Abella:

you get demonized

Justin Keltner:

If you look at it from an evolutionary psychology standpoint, what's happening in a big part is that women are actually going against. their evolutionary makeup and psychology and everything else in the West versus they're going with the flow in other places like Southeast Asia, Eastern Europe, South America, et cetera. And then men are just simply going with their instincts and with their native, essentially programming, right? It's how, it's how we're built. That's how we've, the things we've always been attracted to.

Amanda Abella:

I would argue that there's one thing where western women are still Very hell bent on keeping the evolutionary or biological Way that they're wired and that is which I find very confusing by the way So I'm gonna try and explain it, but I understand it's a little confusing where it's like they want a modern relationship But they want the man to pay it for everything and it's

Justin Keltner:

How does that work?

Amanda Abella:

I'm not sure exactly how that works because a man who would want to pay Pay for everything is usually a lot more conservative and traditional in the way that he does things and granted there's nuances and relationships are all a negotiation and stuff like that and every relationship is unique so we're grossly generalizing right now but you see a lot of it where it's like he's got to be six feet and six figures you see a lot of

Justin Keltner:

which is a much smaller segment of the market than most women actually think uh

Amanda Abella:

Super small.

Justin Keltner:

yeah there's a

Amanda Abella:

of super small.

Justin Keltner:

there's a lot of the um What do you call it? Like the red pill podcasts that talk about this? If you really want to go down a rabbit

Amanda Abella:

want to go some

Justin Keltner:

If you want to go down like a rabbit hole. Uh, a deep rabbit hole.

Amanda Abella:

Don't take their dating advice, but man, it's a really interesting study

Justin Keltner:

on, then they're done that what is going on? Have the stories to tell, but yeah, not a good idea. Um, but, but it's interesting'cause yeah, the, the women will actually think, oh yeah, um, 60% of guys are making over six figures. I'm like, no, it. It's a lot less than, it's a lot less than that, so.

Amanda Abella:

Now that being said, I understand a woman's evolutionary need to feel like she's taken care of and safe and provided for because women are the ones who have kids and have to take a back seat and we're the ones who, like it or not, are more vulnerable in this society. So it just is what it is and I feel like in the West, like they just like to fight that a lot and in other cultures they just don't fight it.

Justin Keltner:

And it's not working well for them. Like they, like they say in Cuba,

Amanda Abella:

Yeah, that didn't, that didn't work out too well, uh, in the end. Um, so other things, and this is, Kind of what I was alluding to before that in these other, uh, cultures, there's more of a prioritization on the teamwork and community dynamics and family dynamics, as opposed to the rugged individualism, I get to do whatever I want when I want, uh, kind of vibe that you would get, uh, in, in the West. So I could see why that I get to do what I want when I want, I don't need anybody. I could see why that taken to an extreme would cause issues. In relationships

Justin Keltner:

and of course back to the economic advantages and this is this is a big part of what's fueling that passport, bro phenomenon, which is The lower cost of living in a lot of these other countries actually allows men to comfortably provide, which makes the relationships more stable because there's not a bunch of like financial turmoil. That's the number one leading cause of either divorce or not getting married in the first place is, is financial issues. So when the cost of living is lower in those other countries, well, men can provide better. And because women want men that can provide in those countries, it just kind of works out. What do some people say though? Because we were watching that, uh, that video there on, on that, uh, Insider, uh, what

Amanda Abella:

documentary. Documentary. Yeah.

Justin Keltner:

Yeah, on, uh, the CNA Insider. What were some of the, the opposing views and, like, some of your thoughts on that? Because, again, I want to defer to you as, as a woman because you could probably speak on this. Yeah,

Amanda Abella:

so one of the opposing views I actually found a little bit bizarre, um, and I'll explain why. So one of the opposing, and I think this is the one that made the least amount of sense in comparison to the other ones, is they said, oh, you know, this passport bro thing is just colonialism. Because, you know, they go to these countries with brown people and expect the brown people to be subservient to the white people. And I said, yeah, that argument completely just loses everything when you take into account that these men are also going to Eastern Europe and all those women are white. So I just, that, that one,

Justin Keltner:

Balkans

Amanda Abella:

the Balkans

Justin Keltner:

a lot of places, even Central Europe. Hungary, I mean a lot of places where it's not just brown people

Amanda Abella:

women, Slavic women, Russian women, so all of them are white. So that argument just kind of doesn't really have much to stand on. When you take that into consideration, I think, you know, other things that they talked about was just, you know, sexual exploitation, which I think we need to talk about the difference between sexual exploitation and actually being in a healthy relationship because sex tourism is a thing. It exists. It's the male order bride thing, uh, exists. And also there's the aspect that exists that women in these countries, and I say this as a Latina, also know how to finesse these men. If they are not very street smart, uh, a lot of these women will see these Western men and be like, that's my ticket to the United States. Although less and less of them want to go to the United States now. Uh, but they see it as, you know, my way out of poverty, uh, for example, and some of them, you know, will. Finesse men. So there's that side of it. There's the side of it that can be very transactional and not actually Um, that healthy, which they brought up where they, they could be an exploitation of each other basically. But I think that's different than what we're hearing on the calls, which is, I just want a better life for myself and my values are more in alignment with what's going on in another country. I think the two are very different. Yeah.

Justin Keltner:

and it's important to know that there is a distinction there, right? Like just because they're going to a country that is economically You Disadvantaged where they have enough money to be in the upper earning bracket and therefore get the women that they want Doesn't mean that they're taking advantage of any situation. It's it's what people have done for history Throughout history like either going to a place with a lower cost of living going to a place where They're dating prospects for better like it's been happening for thousands and thousands and thousands of years since humans began, right? Like we've, we've traveled, we were nomads. None of this is new at all. In fact, if anything, the new part is that, you know, you're born in one place and you just stay there forever. Like that's a wild thing. That's only really existed in the last few hundred years.

Amanda Abella:

Yeah. And I, and I think, uh, part of the criticism that for example, Western women have toward the passport broads as well, you don't have money to afford me in the United States. But, uh, but a lot of the

Justin Keltner:

know if they actually want those women, even if they could.

Amanda Abella:

Well, there's that but I think there's also like a lot of these guys that we talked to are making six figures So they would fit the category at least in the finance department of what these women want and they still don't want to date these women they would still rather go to the Philippines or Colombia or well not Ukraine right now, but you know what I mean?

Justin Keltner:

Um, they know they're still there.

Amanda Abella:

Oh, really? Okay, you would still You know, they would still rather go to these places, but one of the criticisms and this is just insulting Uh that a lot of the more western women at least the ones who go viral on social media Which of course is not a representation of all western women but for example they just assume that women in like the dominican republic or mexico or the philippines or thailand or That they're like uneducated Uh, women

Justin Keltner:

They don't speak any English. They're

Amanda Abella:

They're uneducated. They're

Justin Keltner:

from the favelas.

Amanda Abella:

And that's just not true at all. I mean, Mexico, for example, has one of the fastest growing middle and professional classes in the world right now. It's just, it's just, it's just categorically false.

Justin Keltner:

I will argue the devil's advocate for that though Because if you look at especially places like columbia where i've lived there are definitely men that will go and just pretty much latch on To any woman that they can find on tinder or the easiest and they're just trying to

Amanda Abella:

date

Justin Keltner:

a bunch of women or sleep with a bunch of women there and yeah They might attract a lot of the a lot of the women that are from a much lower income bracket. I've seen that for sure Um, but on average like if if they're looking to get into a relationship

Amanda Abella:

like a serious,

Justin Keltner:

Right, they're probably going to find a woman that's that's similar intelligence, similar interests, similar values, similar background. Just because they're from another country doesn't mean that they're not going to speak your language at all. And even if they don't speak your language, they can still be educated and maybe you, you find a language that you have in common or you learn Spanish or whatever. Like it's not, it's not that difficult. But to Amanda's point, These women are not like all from, from the hood

Amanda Abella:

They're not all from a barrio.

Justin Keltner:

not, not, you know, they can't read and write. Like it's just such a ridiculous thing.

Amanda Abella:

Like, it's just crazy to even think that. Especially Eastern European women are extremely well

Justin Keltner:

yeah. You're, you're Europeans in general, especially in Eastern Europe are people there are extremely educated. They typically speak two, three, four languages. Uh, they're well traveled. They know a lot. I mean, uh, I've, I've dated both in South America and Eastern Europe and

Amanda Abella:

what people

Justin Keltner:

say about, Oh, you're just, you know, dating these dumb women. Like it's, it's, it's just complete BS. It's, it's made up. And it's also, uh, I think,

Amanda Abella:

it's stupid. It

Justin Keltner:

They're there in many many many cases like either They just don't know like the the women that are saying that are about those other

Amanda Abella:

are ignorant. They look like the uneducated, dumb asses. Yeah. When they say

Justin Keltner:

Either they don't know and they're ignorant or they're just trying to spread false stuff like that So that the men they're basically trying to like guilt trip us Those men or trying to get them not to leave because that's a bad deal for for them. It's just very weird It's like a very weird chaotic thing and the whole

Amanda Abella:

thing is bizarre. I'm really glad we're getting married. I'm

Justin Keltner:

glad Yeah, i'm really glad i'm not on the not on the in the dating pool anymore, especially not in the u. s.

Amanda Abella:

Yeah, it's it's all very very Bizarre. Okay. So now let's talk a little bit about personal perspectives on all of this We've mentioned it a little bit, uh as we're talking about this, but we could go a little bit You deeper. Um, I've talked about a lot of the differences between like what I've noticed, right? Between Latin culture and Western culture, uh, or even the Spaniards. Cause like I said, I'm at the nail salon and the Spaniards are all hitting on them too. And they're like, we don't want these European women. We want the Latinas, like all the European women and the American women that they all lost their damn minds, right? We want more feminine women. Um, and that's why Um, they're going to all these places and then, I mean, I've even heard stories at the salon where it's like, Oh yeah, my friend went to, uh, my Mexican friend went to vacation in Vallarta and she met a Canadian guy and now they're engaged. Like it just, it happens like this, like really fast. I think cause there's more, more, uh, polarity.

Justin Keltner:

There's more polarity. And, and if, if you've been, what was

Amanda Abella:

that analogy

Justin Keltner:

that they used, I forget whose, whose YouTube video it was, but if you, or a comment somewhere where they're like, uh, if you have to.

Amanda Abella:

The

Justin Keltner:

the dating scene in the West is basically shit. Why would I have to wade through all this shit just to find the gold when I can go somewhere where there's a lot more gold and a lot less shit. That's basically the analogy.

Amanda Abella:

and that's what a lot of men were saying. It was a comment I think that was under the documentary where it's like look i'm a he was um, he was asian american Yeah, he was asian american and he's saying i've dated both in the west and in asia And in the west you just have to wade through more shit to find the gold. So if you can just change your location and not have to wade through shit, why wouldn't you do that?

Justin Keltner:

Exactly. Like if you like the beach, what are you doing living in arizona?

Amanda Abella:

Well, it doesn't make any sense. So um, so I think it's just really interesting because I think part of what's happened in the West and with Western women is that there is this misunderstanding and even with men, right? Like there's a total misunderstanding of like masculine and feminine energy or masculine and feminine, I guess, embodiment. For lack of a better term or traits or qualities. And when they do talk about it, it's like very simplistic. It's not, it's not nuanced at all. It's very single dimensional when they talk about it, which I think causes a lot of the confusion. And I will say that one of the things that I learned, um, you know, in Latin culture, you know, I got the whole. Family comes first thing since like birth, you know, and that more traditional piece, uh, but in terms of like the skills, uh, I mean, and flirting and polarity and all that is very easy in Latin culture, but a lot of the skills in terms of like the practicality of it all, I actually learned from Asian women. And I was very interested by the way that Asian women would date. And I think that the West can learn a lot from all these cultures in terms of dating. But the Asian women are super practical, right? It's like, do we have shared values? Do we have shared goals? Um, I think they're just good negotiators

Justin Keltner:

Sounds like it too. They've been reading a lot of chris boss,

Amanda Abella:

maybe right? They're just good negotiators to where there's this understanding of like these are the the traditional roles. This is what creates polarity in a relationship and we're going to negotiate, uh, what that looks like, but it's, and, and, uh, and also all these cultures, all three of them have a more community oriented. Uh, reality about the way that they live.

Justin Keltner:

Versus that rugged, individual feminism of the West.

Amanda Abella:

Yeah, and I think what's happened in the West is people just aren't using their fucking brains anymore when it comes to dating. It's all feelings or hormones, and it's not even, like, oh, I'll give you an example. Uh, because there's a dating coach that i'm friends with on facebook and she will oftentimes Talk about these things like i've had clients that i've talked to this week that don't know anything about their partner's finances They don't know anything about their views on marriage or kids or anything I'm, not talking about people who just met i'm talking about people who've been together five years And I looked at them like there's no way in hell a latina or an eastern european woman or an asian woman Wouldn't have gotten all that information up front. Otherwise, what would have been the point of continuing to date? There would have been no point. And I think in the West, that's missing.

Justin Keltner:

hundred percent And it's very similar because I had Eastern European roots, you know growing up I mean, that's that's where a big part of my family is from and There it's it's very different like the way Obviously even, even there it's evolving a little bit, but typically in Eastern Europe the woman stays home, she takes care of the kids, she cooks, she cleans, and it's not just the act of doing the things. She's kind of holding the space for the man to be able to come back from work, feel relaxed, feel happy, feel taken care of.

Amanda Abella:

Because he's at war all

Justin Keltner:

Because he's basically at war all day. Um, maybe a bad analogy now.

Amanda Abella:

Oh, yeah, sorry so oops So

Justin Keltner:

the idea is that the woman is, is not just cleaning and everything and cooking, but actually maintaining the household. And she's in charge of that thing. Versus, oh, okay, let's go 50 50. Let's both go to work. God knows who's going to take care of the kids. Now they're going to have that dual income. But now they're going to have to pay 20 percent of it just to have a babysitter look after their kids. And then their kids are going to get raised by somebody that's not them.

Amanda Abella:

Which is interesting.

Justin Keltner:

what are you doing?

Amanda Abella:

were hanging out

Justin Keltner:

against a lot of our

Amanda Abella:

We were hanging out with some mexican friends yesterday. Um, and they're like i'm not having strangers raise my kids There's no way in hell, right? So there's like a, an understanding, um, of that. That doesn't mean they don't have help in the house, right? It's just that that help is either very close to the family already, like they've been there for a while, or it is family, but this idea of like sticking their kid in like a in a daycare is like absolutely not what we're not doing.

Justin Keltner:

Yeah, because who knows what they're going to be teaching in that daycare or wherever they're going So I think I think it's really important that that kids do have a uh, a daycare Dual parent household whenever possible and also

Amanda Abella:

god, we didn't even get into the statistics of single households in the United States being at record highs. Right now, we didn't even get into that. But, you know, it's, it's in breakdown, basically, in the West and in other countries where it's more traditional. It's not that they don't have their problems, they do, right? You can get into that very transactional dynamic very easily. Uh, if you're coming from a wounded place, rather than wanting to have a healthy relationship. But they seem to have less issues in that department. And it seems that Western men are quite attracted to that because they're like these women in these cultures, let me be men, essentially.

Justin Keltner:

Long story short here, is that things are getting really difficult and really ugly in the West. In fact, they have been for a while, and they're just getting worse and worse. Yes. Yes. And more and more men, every single day, are deciding to take their chances abroad because of all of this. the cultural and relationship and value differences that we've talked about today. Now, if you're a man in the, in the West, especially a single man and you're looking for love abroad because you realize, Hey, this is not the sandbox that you want to play in and you don't have a location independent business, or maybe you have a remote job, but they're probably not going to let you work there. From anywhere like Mexico or South America or anywhere else. In fact, most remote jobs today do not let you work from outside of your home country. Believe it or not, over 95% of remote jobs don't let you leave the country and work so. What is the solution? The solution is starting your own location independent business, and Amanda and I can help you do just that.

Amanda Abella:

We've both been digital entrepreneurs for 15 years each. So we have a wealth of knowledge that we can share with you guys. Plus we actually just do it. And we live it so you can get the information on how to book one of those calls below just fyi We are going to be traveling a lot in january because we have christmas we have our wedding and we have Our honeymoon, so

Justin Keltner:

we're going on the icon of the seas.

Amanda Abella:

We are and we'll

Justin Keltner:

pretty excited

Amanda Abella:

We'll take you guys along for the ride all of that to save the spaces. We're going to be Extra limited in the new year. So make sure to get your spot now for those extra limited spaces until we're able to open up our calendar again. When we're back in Mexico,

Justin Keltner:

Like and subscribe book that call below and we're going to see you very soon on the next one