Spoke in Class Today
Travel this journey with me as we fly through space on this magnificent rock. There is going to be laughter, silliness, tears, and rants. I plan to get some interviews done as well. I am interested in learning about all sorts of different things and sharing my experience. There will be music to listen to as well. As an avid listener and lover of all genres of music, I want to share my love for the musical arts and comedy. So join along and lend me your ear, as I walk through this next journey.
Spoke in Class Today
Episode - 26: From Social Media Mishaps to Personal Growth
Ever wondered how the chaos of a plane crash might mirror the turmoil of personal growth? As I approach 50, I find myself reflecting on human error—not just in the skies, but in the emotionally charged realm of modern dating and self-perception. With a touch of humor and raw honesty, I share my baffling experiences navigating the ever-evolving dating scene, where I've been blocked on social media without a clue as to why. Join me in this candid exploration of connecting in a digital world where the rules seem constantly rewritten.
Picture this: a provocative social media post offering "rent a date" services for a staggering $100,000 a month. As I stumble upon this, my curiosity and humor spark a playful exchange reminiscent of barroom flirtations. This lighthearted interaction raises questions about why people share such personal content and the variety of responses it provokes. Through examining this online encounter, I ponder the complexities of digital communication where intent and perception often clash, turning a simple comment into an unexpected social experiment.
From late-night musings to everyday quirks, the unpredictable nature of human interactions is a constant theme. A simple text exchange spirals into a confrontation, leading me to reflect on how easily boundaries can be misread. As I look ahead to an adventurous visit to the St. Francis Mountains, these reflections reveal a journey of self-discovery amidst the anticipation of new experiences. Throughout, there's a mix of excitement for the road ahead and the humorous challenges of managing life at home, all while searching for deeper understanding in personal growth and relationships.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Well hello. Hello.
Speaker 1:Let me turn this down just a tad. Oh, let's see that's a little better, all right. Well, hello, ma'am. All right, sorry, let's just get shit together. I ain't always together, I'm always just kind of partly together. Oh, what is happening? Happening? Happening?
Speaker 1:I hear that there was a horrible plane crash. Let's look up what's going on. I think there was a helicopter that collided with a airline American airline. Damn that. Sucks 64 people on board. Damn it, I don't understand it. It I don't get it. I mean, somebody fucked up.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, I hate to say it, but there's at least a couple people that screwed up somewhere and you can blame it on whatever, but it comes down to, unfortunately, human, fucking nature Mistakes, mistakes that we make, just like trying to talk to somebody More on that in just a minute, mmm, I don't know. I uh, cat, won't stay out. You're just nosy. So I look like fucking shit. I get it, I understand that, but for what? I don't. You know, if you gotta go after me for my looks because I'm almost 50 years old, that's fine, that's your prerogative, whatever. So the reason why I say that is I'm kind of lost and curious as to how people meet each other nowadays. You know, I've been out of the fucking game for so long, not because I've been wrapped up in something, but because I just didn't really fucking put a whole lot of time and effort into it. So periodically I get a little confidence in myself and I decide that I want to try to you know, get to know somebody I don't know. So be it, it's. You know me, being a guy, would like to have conversation and relationships with a woman. Oh no, so I don't know, and I don't know the right fucking steps. No one ever taught me Sorry, I don't. Whatever this fucking music is. We just on like a weird he, what Facing me, I don't know Whatever, but I don't get out much. I don't go out and do much. A lot of it's just my own personal shit. All right, oh, I know this song. Okay, face to music. Hey, woman, this fucking fits For what I'm about to tell you. All right, I have broken dreams, okay, so I conversate periodically on social media. I don't stir. Well, I fuck around and it's just my nature.
Speaker 1:But I, there was this, this girl, and why did I just try to type in girl, fuck me. Oh, so, sorry, I will get to the point of this in just a fucking minute. So I don't understand it. I don't know why I'm looking at that shit. I gotta go to my photos because, long story short, I've already been blocked. I didn't fucking do a thing. I didn't do a thing.
Speaker 1:So, alright, this girl, cute in my eyes, has a thing on her profile, on her page, for everyone to see, and it says it's got her picture of her face smiling, black and white. She, you know, obviously, I mean, it was a game, a thing you know that she clicked on because she wanted to be judged in some way. So she put this fucking thing on her page. I don't know this girl. I friend people just to friend people. You know why not? So she puts on there rent a date Okay, rent a date. Rent a date, okay, rent a date. And I will do some editing to this and post up the stuff on my page so you guys can see what it is and just follow what it is that I talked about on this to see the outline of what happened. And maybe I'm fucking crazy, I don't know, maybe I'm the one, but sorry, my cat keeps opening my door. I got other people in the house that sleep. So this girl, woman, lady, whatever she her, whatever she her, whatever, it doesn't matter. I thought she was attractive. I commented on this photo because some of the other guys that commented were kind of, you know, asshole. Just not really assholes, but just typical, you know, but just typical.
Speaker 1:It says $100,000 a month. Rent a date $100,000 a month. So let's go there first. Why so much? What makes you that valuable to charge $100,000 a month, even if it's just happenstance? And this fucking thing, why post that? Why think that you're that valuable to get paid $100,000 a month? Hmm, if you get paid to date someone, what does that classify you as? Okay, I'll let you guys ponder that.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to say it because I know what it is. I can say a few things Escort, oh what. Whore, oh, oh, no. Prost, oh, I'm not going to say it. Okay. So, down below the $100,000 amount a month, there's some details. Let's say that Details. Extremely loyal, a passionate lover, you know, I mean what everybody looks for and has a cute butt, okay, perfect, I like cute butts, but I don't see any pictures of the butt, so whatever. And then, below that, green flag tells the funniest jokes and then red flag overthinks a lot, okay.
Speaker 1:So I wanted to see psychological experiment just to see what would happen. And if I got something from it, I got something from it. If not, I got something from it. It, I got something from it. If not, I got something from it. Either way, I got an experience of a lifetime that I got to experience and I get to share. Not that you care, but I do. So I'm going to fucking share. This is my platform. So, whatever, no, I'm kidding. I want you guys to have fun with whatever the bullshit of life that I go through and don't give a fuck to tell everybody about it, because, okay, I didn't do anything wrong. Maybe I did sorry, so we'll get into what.
Speaker 1:So there's a first guy Do you accept PayPal? Dollar sign, smiley face, okay, no comment. Back. Another guy, and obviously absolutely gorgeous. No profile picture Must have already been blocked, probably because he messaged her directly. Next guy Can we see the butt? No response.
Speaker 1:Not that anybody needs to respond back to these. What these guys are commenting there's no questions. There's nothing. It's just do you accept PayPal, but no question mark. Are we supposed to take it as a statement or is this an actual question? Because you didn't use any kind of proper wording of how the context of what you're trying to say is Supposed to be read. So I comment, just to see you know. Dip my toes in the water, see what happens. I say is there a refund policy in case you're defective? Question mark and I spelled your correctly with an apostrophe. You are Okay. So she responds question mark, just my name. Question mark. So I respond back. For the rent-a-date quotations, is there a refund available if there's a defect of the product? Question mark, okay. So I'm joking around.
Speaker 1:I mean, if you can't look at that as a joke in a sense, because of what she's provided a rent-a-date for $100,000 a month, provided some details about herself and gave a little snippet of who she is, based on her green flag, red flag choices. So I gave her something to think about and she says Pretty sure, you'll, pretty sure you will return me. Alright, she opens the door. Okay, I believe. My thought she didn't say anything about. She opens the door Okay, I believe. My thought she didn't say anything about. Oh, that's gross. What do you mean? You're being mean.
Speaker 1:Nothing, flirtation, conversation, joking around, as if I was at a bar and she walked around with a sign on her fucking neck and said rent me for $100,000. And listed it out. That's basically what she did. Okay, maybe I don't know, but why put that information out there Like that and not expect some kind of recourse? From? Whatever it is, and depending on who you are and your type of personality, you can look at it as whatever, or you can respond back to things that you enjoy or you dislike. However you want to act.
Speaker 1:Obviously, she didn't respond to these other guys based on what they said, so I twisted it up. Just a tit, just a tip, just a tad Whatever. A tit, a tad, a tittle. Oh, so she responds back. Pretty sure you will return me, okay? I said, hmm, well then, with that bit of information, I probably should. I said that, completely wrong, I'm fucked up. No, I misspoke, I probably should. Completely wrong, I'm fucked up. No, I misspoke, I probably should stay away. Okay, so let's start over. I said, hmm, well then, with that bit of information, I probably should stay away. But I never listen to my judgment, to my better judgment. So dot, dot, dot, dot. Okay, I left it at that. No response in regards to that. Fine, whatever, I didn't think that she would want to be the type of person that would want to have a conversation in regards to whatever you know path that this was leading down, or however this was going To be part of complete public, which is fine.
Speaker 1:I mean, if she wants the other guys To see what she's talking about, to me that's perfectly fine. I don't care and I'm not doing this out of that, I'm you know Whatever. So I messaged her directly. My mistake I wasn't aware that you just can't talk to women. Where am I supposed to talk to women? Because obviously, by the chain of reactions that happened after this, well, it was astounding. I might be wrong. So I sent her a message and I'll have pictures, I'll put this up and I'll say forgive if inappropriate to message Thought, I'd see if there was some fine print I missed as why you're pretty sure I'd return you Question mark.
Speaker 1:Okay, not sure how that's supposed to be read, other than, what's the reason? What's going on? And I say I find you attractive. So then the problem must lie in the personality. So then the problem must lie in the personality Wink, smirk, emoji, whatever you know, just kind of like joking around. And then I said I bet I'm wrong, though With a thought Emoji, am I stupid? Okay, no, I don't know, maybe I am, probably am Most likely, and she responds back WTF, bye. And I didn't say anything back to her. Oh, I said I'm sorry, I did say I did respond back because I just couldn't help myself from not responding back. I had to. So she said I said she said I said I said there's the red flag. No sense of humor. Thanks for flying that out right away, saves me some time. And she's like red flags. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark WTF.
Speaker 1:Grow up, I don't use social media to hook up asshole. And that's four different messages. Okay, you couldn't have said that all at once and then sent it together into one thing. Is that we talk in words now, not in sentences? I mean, I don't, maybe this is it, I don't. Maybe that's how people communicate. But first of all, why do I need to grow up?
Speaker 1:What did I do wrong? Did I call her a snotty face? Did I say you're going to give me cooties? What did I do wrong? I just want to know. Please, anybody who wants to share with me, please talk, tell me what did I do wrong. Share with me, please talk. Tell me. What did I do wrong? Yeah, maybe I stepped out of the line and messaged somebody that I, you know, would like to have seen, to maybe talk to, and because I don't know where she, you know, am I going to show up at her work, show up at her, just follow her on Facebook and then find her out in public somewhere. I mean, I don't understand it. Am I looking at this completely wrong? I might be. Am I looking at this completely wrong? I might be. Okay, we gotta change this music. This is getting a little too strange.
Speaker 1:Alright, let's get back out of here. Sorry La la la, la la.
Speaker 1:La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la la. I'm not doing that. No one else can make me feel. Alright, let's, let's find a different station. All right, excuse me, I'm sorry, I'll get back to my story here in just a minute. I just want some different music. Come on, I need a new computer. What era let's do? 80s, 80s, 80s, 80s. I've been on a 70s hit for a while. Let's find some good 80s music to listen to. Yeah, how about it?
Speaker 1:I used to love going out when I was like 19 to a bar and drinking, getting fucking shit-faced. But it was a bar down on Laclede Station, down in Laclede oh, not Laclede Station, laclede's Landing, downtown St Louis, and there was a bar called Tasmania and on Thursday nights, thursday nights they played 80s music and I would go there because I could get in and drink. I got in a lot of places when I was 19. Kind of weird I used an ID of a fraternity brothers and would go out and him and I would go out together To the same bar and they just I would go in a few ahead of him and then he'd come in after, and it worked out. We did that many, many, many times and I got A couple times I got questions, but Alright, 80s, sorry, sorry, side story Switchy, mind Weird.
Speaker 1:Oh, I wanted to see what the songs were. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Oh yes, let's go crazy. Goddamn Prince, damn it. I fucking love that dude. That fucking music was just his. God damn, I missed that one Son of a bitch. That was one that lost Him. Tom Petty. Michael Jackson is sick of a fuck, as he probably turned out to be, but god damn it. Those are some good fucking artists. I mean, just to name a few other ones Jim Morrison with the Doors, fucking Jimi Hendrix.
Speaker 1:I mean, just way too early in life, just gone, the greats of fucking music. I mean just way too early in life to dig. Just gone, the greats, the greats of fucking music. In my eyes, gone way too early, like Tupac, biggie, god Just. I mean, think about it. The, you know who was it? Ricky Nelson. Think about it. You know who was it? Ricky Nelson? Some of the phenomenal artists that La Bamba, just a. I'm sure I might be wrong and missing a few. What the guys from, I don't know, I can't think of it. God darn it. Hold on. Sorry, I just wanted to close my door. Sorry, I just wanted to close my door. I know there's another band that went down in a plane crash too.
Speaker 1:But Living life like that, god, what a Probably just a wild experience of everything at the ages that they were just to do all that. You know all of them, all the musicians, not magicians. Musicians, the artists Phenomenal. At one point in time in my life, when I was younger, I wanted to be a singer. I just didn't have the confidence or the know-how to do all that stuff. An old friend haven't spoken to in many years. Him and I were going to start a band as I used to love I mean, that's just how much I loved music and I just never, never did.
Speaker 1:Other things gotten away, just like my story that I've gotten into off my other story as to what I originally started talking about. So we'll revert back to that and I'll go into other things about this other shit later on, or should I just? I don't know. The missteps of life, and that's what this is, these experiences, these stupidities of things Of us as humans, these stupidities of things of us as humans, all right back to the lady, the limit, the woman. Oh, I don't want to say anything else because I don't. I mean, she's crazy, I just it, just I. Who knows what the fuck's going on in her life? I get it, it just, it's just by chance. By chance I just I hit that little fucking trigger, that button somewhere and sparked her off because she got a bad taste in her mouth Fucking who knows. But I took it.
Speaker 1:And here it is so Alright, so I took it. And here it is so Alright, so I left off. She's calling me an asshole. And then I didn't say anything back and then she messaged back. She goes who the fuck are you? You capitalized. So she's yelling at me now no, no, no, no, I guess people don't talk.
Speaker 1:I talk with symbols too. I mean I talk. I mean it's like I want you to understand the context of what it is that I'm saying. If I'm going to scream at you about something with a question mark, then I want you to understand that it's a question. Or I guess maybe I shouldn't, Maybe I shouldn't do that, Maybe that's the stupidity of myself, I don't know. I always have question marks and commas and parentheses and exclamation points and da-da-da, Just so you can really kind of see and follow the story of the words that I'm trying to say and maybe you'll understand that it was meant to be funny. You'll understand that it was meant to be funny, or you can be a bitch and take it way out of context and respond like this.
Speaker 1:So she says who the fuck are you? Who the fuck are you Asking for a friend? Two different messages, okay, and then I can't. I have to look at the timestamps, but this all happened in a moment of I started. I messaged her at 10.11. It doesn't say what time she messaged me back, but by 10.35, she was FaceTiming me.
Speaker 1:By 10.35, she was FaceTiming me, facetiming me. Okay, I didn't ask, I didn't answer, I wasn't, you know. Yeah, that's fine. If you want to talk that way, let's talk. Fine, don't throw me off guard, though, by FaceTiming me. But after you say those things and then you FaceTime, call me, okay, great, I didn't answer. She says let's go. Where are we going? What are we going to do? Are we going to go to the park or the zoo? Okay, so she calls me again.
Speaker 1:This time I answer I'm like what's up? And she's like what? You called me out what's up, and I was just. I was like well, you just kind of said a bunch of things that you know. She's like what red flags? I said well, you know, I was just saying that you didn't have a personality, because you obviously didn't understand the context of what it was that I was saying and how I said it, but you just want to rip me down my fucking throat. In regards to whatever I was trying to do, you had no clue. I didn't make any context of that, of wanting to hook up or whatever. And how did I become an asshole? And obviously a child, because I have to grow up. Hi, mommy, I peed myself today. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:I did pee myself once when I was a kid. I really had to fucking pee and a goddamn teacher wouldn't let me, so I pissed my fucking pants. I told her All right. So she comments that I look older than my picture, my profile picture, which I will be 100%. You know that picture's from a little while ago, not, I don't know, not that long ago. Yeah, I look a little rougher. I haven't. You know, I probably got a little extra weight on from when that picture was taken, but I have a hat on and I have a hoodie on and I've got a little bit of scruff, kind of like what I got right now, depending on what day of the week it was it's probably a Saturday, because I think I remember where the location of that picture was taken. It was a picture that I took myself, not something that I do. I don't take a whole lot of pictures of myself. I'm not into that, but I don't. I probably took that for some reason to, whatever the way that that picture is picture is, and I don't think I look that much different. Yeah, I'm probably a little bit more fucking bloodshot in the eyes, but I'm shadowed out there, you know, or not bloodshot, but just the fucking bags because I don't sleep.
Speaker 1:It's 1.52. Am I stay up late? I rarely sleep like this. Past so many hours, I mean I got decent sleep, but it wasn't very consistent. I fell asleep for a little bit and woke up for a little bit, fell asleep for a little bit, woke up for a little bit, fell asleep for a little bit, woke up for a little bit and then I finally woke up and got up and took a shit and showered and then I laid back down Because I don't have anywhere to go. I laid back down Because I don't have anywhere to go. I laid back down and I fell back asleep for like four more hours and I woke up and it was like 1.30 in the afternoon.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know it's horrible. I don't like this life. I don't like this life. I don't like fucking working. I mean I enjoy it If it's something enjoyable that I can make some money at, but I haven't really found much that's enjoyable Other than just doing shit for myself. I don't know. I don't know. I don't get it. I'm a little rough around the edges nowadays. I'm 49 years old, god damn it, but I don't feel 49. It's just so weird. It just this number is so odd. I don't feel 49. It's just so weird. It just this number is so odd. This time in my life is just wild. I've got two adult kids, goodness gracious.
Speaker 1:Like I, I have a weird vivid memory. I remember a lot of things. I don't remember conversations, but I remember experiences and I can tell the story of it. I remember a lot of childhood, 20s. You know places I went, experiences that I had. I can recall a very good recall from my eyes the things that I went through, even when the nights that I was completely shit-faced or fucked up on some drug that I did, I always had good recall. I can go back and recall a whole lot. I can't remember everything that was said, but I can just tell you the experience and I don't remember names of a lot Most of I do. If they were close enough to me, I can remember their names. So back to this whole.
Speaker 1:Okay, so she's commenting that I look like crap and and okay, first of all, I didn't do shit today other than pack some stuff up for this move, getting things ready. Packed some stuff up for this move, getting things ready, did some research for things that I'm going to need outside of what I already have to develop this land, because I'm going in raw, raw. I'm going in raw no protection, nothing raw. I'm going in raw no protection, nothing, I'm going in raw. This is a new. This is going to be a wild fucking experience and I'm gonna. I'm gonna either succeed at this or I'm gonna fucking fall on my face and come running back somehow, some way with less money, I guess, by that time, because the land that I bought isn't the greatest, you know, it is what it is. But I've got water. That's what's so exciting, is I've got fucking water. So exciting is I've got fucking water. So, um, so I haven't, you know, put myself together. Okay, I was sitting in my fucking living room watching a gladiator two great movie, by the way, gladiator was good as well, but phenomenal job. I'm watching this movie.
Speaker 1:It's 10.30 at night roughly, yeah, 10.35, 10.40 at night. I'm kind of through the middle of my day. Obviously, you know I'm not sleeping. I'm smoking a lot of weed, joints, whatever, cannabis, bullshit, marijuana, mary Jane, but and I'm not, I haven't been doing much because I'm working through injuries and just letting my body rest. But I got to start kind of getting prepared for this next step. But I.
Speaker 1:So she calls me and says all this stuff that I look nothing like my picture and that I look 30 years older is what she texted or messaged me. She goes you look 30 years older is what she texted or messaged me. She goes you look 30 years older and I'm sitting there. You know I've got gray hair. I'll show you what my hair looks like. It's gray, okay, but in my picture I've got a hat on. I've had gray hair since my mid-twenties Not a lot, but mid-late-twenties I started going gray on the sides, a little couple spots in the middle. Okay, yeah, I tried covering it up for years, but I mean that's silly, just like anything else that we try to cover up.
Speaker 1:Ladies, maybelline, claire, you know what I mean. How many different fucking makeup companies are there to hide and make you look different, different. And you got the magic of makeup to make your face look better and highlight your features. And you're going to comment about how I'm looking in the middle of my fucking night when I'm watching television and I had been wearing a hoodie from moving boxes out of my house into my mom's basement until I get this place done or get a, get a structure built, whatever. Fine, judge me on my look so.
Speaker 1:And then the message after that that comes in. It says and you're a cracked out whore. First of all, where's my cracked out whore? Because I didn't see her and obviously she's not a very good whore because I don't remember her, and obviously she's not a very good whore because I don't remember her at all. I'm not sure where she's come up with that little bit of information. She must be mixing me up with some other dude. Like most of these women, do they categorize us? Oh, you're just like that guy. All guys are the same. We all have our fucking issues, god damn.
Speaker 1:I messaged her back. I'm having fun at this point. I'm laughing. This is enjoyable. So I said so, let's see. I said let's see what you look like without makeup or filters. I said let's see, remember something you will get old and ugly as well. And so I said so. I was correct. It is your personality. That's the problem.
Speaker 1:All right, delivered, she comes back at me again. She comes back at me again. I actually look like I do in person. So do I? That's great. Everybody looks like they do in person. I would hope that they look like they do in person, because if not, then there's a problem. It's because I have nothing to prove Another message. I have nothing to prove another message. I have nothing to prove. She doesn't speak in one long form, she speaks in a short form, which is probably I don't know if that's the way to do it I just I sit there and I think about it, so I put it all together. I'm not quick like this and can't have an in-depth conversation. I've got to it's whatever. So she said I actually look how I do in person. That's great. Oh, by the way, when she spoke on the video text, she hit herself, of course, or the video message, video call, whatever. She hit herself, of course. But then she popped herself in at the end before she hung up on me. What was it? I don't remember now.
Speaker 1:So whatever. But and she goes, I have nothing to prove, especially to you and your girl in the background. In the background, two words, not background, not back ground, Back ground, okay, so I guess I've buried a girl in the back ground. Is that word for backyard? Not really sure. Oh, I was trying to say when she spoke she sounded drunk, obviously, or she just had a slur. She could be a little slow, I don't know, but it sounded like she was inebriated just a tad, just a tad. And I think I might have just found that right little button as to why she was drinking and drunk at 10.30 at night On a Wednesday. But hello, kitty cat, you're back, good job.
Speaker 1:And then she says leave me alone, man, you're actually harassing me now. Exclamation point. Man, you're actually harassing me now, exclamation point. And then in capital letters, all capital, leave me alone. And I hadn't said a damn thing back to her. It's just, and I think if you delete it it shows on there too. So whatever.
Speaker 1:But I was in when she was sending that. I was in actually in the middle of writing some stuff out, but I didn't send it and I said, I said, and I look like my picture when I have a hat and hoodie on, just like you do when you have your makeup on. So, but I didn't send it because by time I wasn't looking to get you know when she's starting to throw that word words alone. Leave me alone, man, you're harassing me. I'm not going to go any further because I'm not looking to fucking pick up anything from this. I was just having a little bit of fun and unfortunately she took it way completely out of context. Maybe I did, I don't know. I don't know. I have no idea. I don't understand how to read people or communicate with people anymore. Every time I do this, it's weird. So people are just at a weird fucking place. Some people are. She must have just gotten fucked over by some guy, more than likely, and I just Just being myself. I guess Part of the reason why I'm running away. No, rick ashley, oh boy, never gonna give you up. I don't so. Oh, just, I don't so. Just the days of my life, these are the days of my life, are the days of our lives. Oh, that was a fun show. It's still on, isn't it? I think Soap opera, but we used to watch it in college. That was one of the things that we did throughout the day, the roommates, the place that I lived in in college.
Speaker 1:The first time I moved out I was living in an apartment with a couple fraternity brothers and I speak fraternity brothers because I mean I didn't actually get in I will backtrack on that because I'll mention it a few times and I was never actually an actual active. I pledged, I fucked up because school, you had to make grades. Why was everything based on school? Why couldn't I just be part of this organization, this group? Because of who I was, of the person that I was, the fun guy that I was Somewhere along the line, my life got fucked up and I think it was just part of what I guess Relationships with women.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, I hate to say it, they just have, like, dug me into a fucking hole for some reason of lack of confidence. And then the other part was because I didn't succeed at school. I didn't graduate. I barely got a. I didn't get a degree. I didn't graduate, I barely got a, I didn't get a degree. I barely got out of high school and I enjoyed the fun. I enjoyed the fun part of life. And I know we gotta work because we gotta pay bills and we gotta pay taxes and we gotta do this and they have nice things. We gotta do All the money and whatever. I enjoyed the fun.
Speaker 1:I don't care if my car is 30 years old, because it's a classic. Excuse me, I drive a 2011 minicooper. It's not the fanciest thing in the world, but I've made it unique as to my personality. I've customized it to how I liked it and I think it's fun. It's a fun little fucking car. If you don't believe me, come for a ride. Let's go for a ride and I'll make it fun.
Speaker 1:You might shit yourself because I drive a little crazy. I drive fast, but it's fun and it should be a freedom Regardless. But no, the police have to pull you over Because I was going over the speed limit. I wasn't causing any harm to anybody. I don't get up on somebody's ass and ride their ass and flash my lights. I don't weave in and out of traffic. I strategically will drive Because I'm putting myself at risk as well. I completely understand. I know how it feels when somebody comes up on you and does those things. I've been in that situation, so I'm not going to do it to somebody else, but I take traffic as a challenge because I've got a little car and so I zip, zip, zip, zip through. I change lanes constantly, you know, just work my way around in the little pockets and, kind of like a motorcycle does, in certain places that are allowed to, they enter. Whatever in between that one's done.
Speaker 1:I don't remember what I was saying. Oh well, it don't matter. I'll remember it when I go back through and edit this or listen to it. You know, sometimes I do, sometimes I just it's a weird thing Doing this, talking to nobody and Having a conversation with you, and you're just there Just to listen. I guess I don't. Oh yeah, women, I'm sorry, I love you, I do, I love women. I just have had a bad stretch. Maybe I do need to be gay. Maybe that's why. Maybe that's why there's so many stories of guys that were like womanizers, that turned gay or would flip over every once in a while to the other, you know, to that side.
Speaker 1:I don't understand it. I don't understand it. It's something that I've always it's weird Ever since I was a kid man. I remember having crushes on girls I think I said it before I can go back to fucking first grade of having a crush on a girl. It's a weird memory. My fucking memory is wild with experience. It's like Truman Show through my eyes and I can recall it. But I have done nothing in my life to make myself into anything that anybody really gives two shits about, other than a handful of people, which is fine. So why am I doing this? I don't know. It's a weird, a weird thing that I'm processing and working through. I guess Maybe to help Help others out there that go through some weird stuff and just don't know how to answer it, don't have the confidence to do something outside of their own realm, to create and craft, to face the challenges of survival Survival. That's what this is going to be. This next journey is survival Survival of the fittest In the mountains of the Ozarks of St Francis, st Francis Mountains, tom Sock hey, it's some of the highest elev of St Francis.
Speaker 1:St Francis Mountains, tom Sock hey, it's some of the highest elevations in Missouri. I might get out. I'll get altitude sickness. I'm excited. I'm excited. Did I wake you up? You can close the door. The cat opens it. I try to end it, but the cat will sit there and scratch. If I don't, I'll stop. You're fine. I woke him up, so he's gotta go up. You know, go to work. Alright, I'll revisit, we'll see you guys. Take care. Bye, thank you.