Spoke in Class Today
Travel this journey with me as we fly through space on this magnificent rock. There is going to be laughter, silliness, tears, and rants. I plan to get some interviews done as well. I am interested in learning about all sorts of different things and sharing my experience. There will be music to listen to as well. As an avid listener and lover of all genres of music, I want to share my love for the musical arts and comedy. So join along and lend me your ear, as I walk through this next journey.
Spoke in Class Today
Episode - 29: I'm trying to figure out my place while the world seems to be falling apart.
The world feels like it's burning around us. Wars in the Middle East, conflicts between nations, and social upheaval dominate headlines while technological shifts transform our daily existence. Against this chaotic backdrop, I find myself navigating my own midlife transition after nearly twenty years focused primarily on raising my children as a single father.
Something profound happens when you suddenly have space to rediscover yourself. Over the past few months, I've been exploring creative pursuits that had long been dormant - narrating my first audiobook (a romance novel, of all things), dedicating myself to learning guitar after decades of on-and-off attempts, and even accepting voice acting work for a commercial. These aren't just hobbies; they represent a search for authentic purpose after years spent working jobs that never truly resonated with my soul.
The strange juxtaposition of personal growth against global turmoil creates a unique psychological space. How do we pursue our individual journeys while questioning humanity's collective future? I find myself wondering if we're witnessing the decline of civilization, especially as artificial intelligence advances and our dependence on technology deepens. Maybe we're building the very systems that will fundamentally transform or replace us. Whether you're experiencing your own period of transformation or simply trying to make sense of our increasingly complex world, I invite you to join this raw, unfiltered exploration of life during uncertain times. If any of these thoughts resonate with you, I'd love to hear your perspective - what keeps you grounded when everything seems to be falling apart?
5, 4, 3, 2, 1. What's going on, Other than everything in the fucking world? I don't even want to go outside anymore. Half the time it feels like you know, with the shit that I hear and see and read about. I don't know. It's an interesting time. For fucking sure it's a good time but it's an interesting time.
Speaker 1:So we're at war, world War III Going off right now, trying to kill the Israels, I guess, and Israel is trying to kill the israels, I guess. And israel is trying to kill the arabs and the indians are trying to kill the fucking pakistanis and jesus. I don't like this. I don't like it one bit Makes me fucking nervous. I'm scared, I mean it's just I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know what's going to happen, but it needs to stop, and I don't know what to do. I don't think it'll ever stop. I mean, it's kind of been human nature. We're going to kill ourselves. That's what's going to happen. We are going to eliminate ourselves because of our stupidity, of the arrogance of the people of power and whatever religious shit that's going on. Because that's all this is. It's not political, it's religious, it's all about religion, it's always been about religion. But it's just kind of been like one of those things where people you know you also take resources because you have to survive. I don't know, I don't know what to think, I don't know what to even wonder about, other than how many more people are going to get killed for senseless bullshit. I mean, at least make it sense. At least make sense of it. If you're going to kill somebody. I guess we all have those thoughts of taking somebody out. I've had them. I mean it's part of being, I guess, a human. I don't know, I mean I guess, but it seems like it's pretty common. Most people I've talked to have said the same thing that you know.
Speaker 1:I need to get some music on Bear with me. Oh, I tell you, I just really don't know what else to say. I don't know. I got a lot going on. I think the last one I mentioned that I got a narration job for a book, so got that all done. I'm just waiting for editing to finish up so I can really go over it and listen to it and see, hopefully, that this will be good. I mean, we'll see. It's nothing big. It'll be on Audible and also on, I think, available on Apple Music or Apple Books or whatever. So you can hear this voice tell a story. I'm not going to repeat or say much about it, but it was a romance, so we'll see. We'll see how it sounds and I'm trying not to be biased to myself, but I hope that things go good.
Speaker 1:I guess I don't know, and I've tried to just get everything else in line with life and this part of my life, the part where it's I guess you can call it a midlife crisis. I think I've said that before. I don't remember. It's been a while. It's been a long while. I need to do this more often and I'm working through it. This is part of the process of this bullshit trying to do this and whatever. If I feel that this is what I want to do, I don't fucking have no clue.
Speaker 1:Been trying to play the guitar, something that I've bounced around with over the course of my life and never really put a whole lot of time and effort into it. I started to try to play it when I was eight and didn't last very long and never really kept back to it and have always wanted to, and now I've had an opportunity to kind of sit back and take some time and focus on that a little bit. So that's been taking up quite a bit of my time, cause there's some nights where I'm playing for three, four hours at a night, just fucking around and trying to learn it. So we'll see, maybe something comes from that. Um, not sure, but uh, just trying to find my path now, I guess, with life, now that my kids are raised and I can focus on myself again, that was something I hadn't really done. I was taking care of my boys and trying to be a good dad and provide for them, and only way I could see that through being a single dad for fucking damn near 20 years, um to, uh, you know, try to work whatever job I could do with the lack of knowledge and lack of interest.
Speaker 1:I hate the job system. I despise, I mean, some people. If you got a good job, good job. If you love what you're doing, then awesome. I just have never really loved what I did and I couldn't really get into a groove.
Speaker 1:I started out young with getting an opportunity to buy a valet parking company and I a valet parking company. I did that for about five years. I guess I was pretty good with it. I'm just not a business mindset person. I'm trying. I'm almost 50 and I don't think anything's gonna change if I haven't been able to do much with it. This part of my life, I don't think it's gonna really happen. So I'm hoping that things happen.
Speaker 1:Other directions which I'm kinda working on with the book stuff and music stuff. I mean that's just more for my gratitude, my, I guess, inner child wanting to finalize that part of my life and I'm getting there. I've only been playing for like six weeks Back. You know, playing for six weeks Consistent Every day For at least an hour. So I don't know, we'll see. And then another thing Is Along with the. I've been trying some voice work stuff, but um, I got a offer to do a commercial. So we'll see what happens with that. It'll be interesting. It'll be an interesting thought process of what that life is about.
Speaker 1:I'm getting my start late of finding my way. I thought I had my way. I got married and I got distracted with my way. So, not to be selfish, I'm not one of them selfish people, I'm willing to. I mean, whatever I'm doing with this, whatever it's going to turn out to be, I'm still working on it. I'm trying to figure it out. It's part of this process.
Speaker 1:I've been fucking up and down and I've had a lot of other stress in my life. It's given me the opportunity, the shift that I made in the last few months, to allow me to relax a little. I'm not taking advantage Well, maybe a little of the situation, but I just have to just put focus into my creativity, I guess. So I don't know what's going to happen. You make it stories of bullshit. Um yeah, you may get more. I've only done a couple interviews and I want to continue kind of with that a little bit, but I have to get out of my fucking shell a little more and get back out into the world. I don't know why I ran away. I think kids did that for a little bit.
Speaker 1:They kept me from misbehaving in a sense, and not that I need to go back out and start misbehaving again Not that I ever really stopped, but I enjoyed the outside world and I need to reconnect. So I'm going to do my best and this is part of that process. So you guys are going to walk with me down this path, if you just choose to or not, whatever. Um and uh. We'll see what grows from this, to or not, whatever, and we'll see what grows from this and if anything grows from it, oh well and great for one. Thank you for listening. That's the fantastic thing I just need to get. I mean, I don't really want to do it. No, I'm not going to say it, I don't want to ruin it.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I'm trying to not think about what the fuck's going on in the world right now a whole lot. It's hard, not to hard, not to. It's frightening with, I guess, with having kids that are of age, you know, in case something large pops off, with whatever the fuck is going on, this weird vibration of Maybe I'm just, I've just been, no, it just seems more tense, unless I've just been hidden from it, or just blind from it, I guess. But I've paid attention to shit for the majority of life. I turned off for a while, but I don't think it's ever been this insane, even here, with the ICE shit and the deportation and the riots and the protests and the kings and the no kings and the Trump. It's just, it's so much. Why, what the fuck? What is happening with that? What is the main reason of it? Why is it getting so much worse? I mean, yeah, the news has a lot to do with it and the bullshit news has a lot to do with it. You know the liars, the mainstream stream, but I don't know what to buy into anymore. That's kind of my fear too.
Speaker 1:On what is actually happening and why does it happen? Is it? I mean, are we gonna? Is this it? Are we becoming an end? I don't know. It's weird to think like that, to think about that there's a possibility that we are on the verge of an ending, of a of humanization. I guess in a way, it's weird. It's like there's I don't. I think, with some of the information that's been found out now, more about things and just looking at the pattern of the earth has always changed. I understand that and I know I guess it's a matter of like really. Is it really getting worse, it seems like it with the storms. Sorry if I'm just running down all sorts of different ways, but this is kind of I don't know where I'm going with it either. Just the change in the world.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm talking about, I guess the craziness of the feelings of what is happening. In some sense Maybe it's just my insanity. I've been so isolated for a while, for so long, I mean, I've had outside connection to things, but not like I used to, and maybe it's just a combination of that, but I don't think it is. I think it's a lot more. It is definitely a lot more Because of the intensity of the vibration of the world, with the everybody's like it fucking odds and what's the cause of it.
Speaker 1:Yes, I know my Christian friends. I'm kidding, I grew up Christian. I understand the concept of the religion. I just have questions that really nobody's been able to give me answers that I can buy into with what I've seen and just kind of paid attention to in life, or you know, I guess because I'm blinded. But I understand it all. I get it. I just have a lot of Whatever.
Speaker 1:So I don't know what the fuck I was saying anymore. Um no, with the vibrations of the earth, for sure, um, in my insanity, that's what it is. It's my insanity, my impersonal weirdness. So I'm boring. Sometimes I need somebody to have conversations with. If anybody or I just need to, I guess I need to this is where I gotta get out and try to get out and try to, um, get more conversations with people and just talk. I mean, if you want to talk about what the fuck's going on, you know, with the riots are on the ice, things, the crap, the deportations Listen, I get that they're separating families, separating families, but if they're not in the country legally and they're not I mean, what are we doing?
Speaker 1:If we're going to allow I mean, yes, if we're going to allow illegals, people that come into the country legally, which, if you look at the history of the United States but listen, none of us were that people, the majority of us that are alive right now didn't come over and take the land away from somebody else, didn't come over and take the land away from somebody else, and probably a large majority of us didn't even have fucking ancestors that did that. So you can't feel guilty for something that you aren't even a part of. That's what's the fucking problem. We have all this guilt of stupidity in ways of past things that can't be changed, and then we fight over it and we bring it back up and we stick it back in the back and we stick it in the side. That needs to stop One. Yeah, the things of the past don't need to be forgotten for sure. So the immigration part, if they came into the border, came over into the United, but you know. So the immigration part that our hardworking people pay into, of what we thought was being administered correctly, we've kind of all found out differently.
Speaker 1:If you want to buy into that or not, what was the whole purpose of that? That's where my confusion comes in. Is the why? Where are we fluffing feathers on finding this information? If no one's going to get in trouble? And if any of that useless spending, where is it going to get redirected to? What is it going to do for the United States, you know, other than funding fucking killings, murder.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's what it is. It's murder. It's murder at the highest fucking scale. And if we're against, murder othering people and we will arrest them and throw them in prison for the rest of their lives, arrest them and throw them in prison for the rest of their lives and essentially, in some aspects, if it's bad enough, kill them because they don't feel that they're deserved to be alive. So we basically, in certain states, will fucking go for the death penalty. But the death penalty.
Speaker 1:But it's okay to shoot a rocket across the fucking border into a crowd of people that have nothing to do with what the fuck's going on, because two people are fighting because they have an issue. What's-his-face fucking sleep with his wife or something. I mean, what the fuck? Why are we doing this? If it is a religious thing, that's kind of where I was going earlier. Yeah, I'm coming back to it. If it is a religious thing, then that's why I have issues with it, with buying into a higher power.
Speaker 1:There's got to be something out there. Sure, I don't know. I would love to find out. I would love to find out what happens after my eyes close for the last time. I mean, are we, are we living in a matrix? Is this a simulation? There is a lot of weird shit that happens. So Miracles, I mean, if they were to rewrite the Bible, which we kind of are, in a way, every generation of crap.
Speaker 1:But some of this stuff is kind of crazy with what's going on out there, and I think that's the absorption of the social media and of the connection of everybody else. I mean, everybody's tied to their phones. Instagram people aren't making a shit ton of money unless everybody's watching them all the time. Same with TikTok Millions of people all sucked into their phones to watch other people make money, which is fine in ads form. So we're sucked into these computers that we walk around with for sure, we walk around with for sure, but they help us. I guess that's one good aspect to it all. Until they take over. Until they take over, they're coming for us. Just watch the movies. The movies tell the future. The books, too. Well, the books tell the past and kind of what's going on. There are some books that kind of tell the future in a way.
Speaker 1:So, or is it just a re? So or is it just a re? There's so much, so much information, so many things to think about, you know to do, and it doesn't keep me hidden or living in a way. I'm living my life how I want to live it right now and I'm working on making it a little different because I'm ready for that reopening of things. Oh, I'm tired of the freakiness of life and the uneasiness of feeling of the outside of certain things, especially with what the fuck's going on over there in the Middle East and I know the Middle East is always kind of infighting, it's always been a fucking thing but all the little bits of information that are getting thrown around out there about certain things and whatever else, what do you think? What do you think about If you are religious? And the biblical stuff. What is this biblical time?
Speaker 1:then, what would be written in the stories for our time, you know, 2,000 years for someone. Read about as to what happened, the stories that are told when civilization gets wiped out and has to restart again. If that's a possibility, if it's to come, it's been done before Civilization's been. I mean, the earth's been fucking destroyed Many times over. It bears scars. So Is it coming? Is the ending on its way? I hope not, and if it is, I hope it's a spectacular show and maybe your conscience continues to grow or stay where you're, kind of in, a whatever spot in your life you're in, you kind of stay in that area. I don't know.
Speaker 1:It's a weird thought. People do it, they tried it. I think they're chasing. There's a lot of people chasing it, which is kind of strange.
Speaker 1:I have had that thought, as if they're able to take your conscience of who you are, which is kind of what AI is doing, maybe. Maybe that's what that is, all that information we're feeding into AI. It's rebuilding, it's building us, it's going to, it's going to capture all of our information, which are already doing Anytime you open your fucking phone or talk next to your phone or whatever. It's building, it's creating, it's crafting, it's taking all of your information and it's compiling into a computer database and the music that you listen to, whatever. Maybe that's what it is. That's exactly what's going to happen. It's an overtake. We're we're building it, so maybe that's what it's the next. We're merging into this thing and you know we're already. We have bionic people, so why wouldn't this be any different to change the body of the whatever and have AI a little bit more into it? I guess of being proper, prim and proper and taking Well, not really prim and proper.
Speaker 1:You can manipulate AI. Ai's already manipulated itself. So, oh well, I think I've talked enough bullshit, and I didn't even get any music on, so, um, I guess, thanks for listening if you are listening, if not, fuck off. So alright, you guys take care. Bye, you're a steak man. Bye.