Spoke in Class Today
Travel this journey with me as we fly through space on this magnificent rock. There is going to be laughter, silliness, tears, and rants. I plan to get some interviews done as well. I am interested in learning about all sorts of different things and sharing my experience. There will be music to listen to as well. As an avid listener and lover of all genres of music, I want to share my love for the musical arts and comedy. So join along and lend me your ear, as I walk through this next journey.
Spoke in Class Today
Episode - 31: Today’s Agenda: Overthink, Avoid Work, Become A Squirrel
Ever catch yourself staring down the same question on a loop—what is it all for—and realize you’ve been holding your breath? That’s where we pick up the thread: in the weird middle space between wanting a life that feels alive and slogging through routines that deaden the day. I talk about work that doesn’t fit, dreams that feel fragile, and the real friction of trying to start when confidence is low and distractions are loud.
We go straight at the swirl: chasing meaning while the mind changes its mind, craving conversation and humor over status, and wondering how much attention to give the world’s noise without letting it hollow us out. I share how timelines slip when money is tight, how “vision boards” never stuck because I don’t want more stuff, and why travel, music, and small creative acts feel closer to purpose than any job title. We venture into cosmic what‑ifs and the lure of rabbit holes, then come back to earth with one clear trade: less consumption, more creation.
There’s also the hard part I usually skip—how early loss and a boundary‑crossing adult scrambled my wiring, how that history still shadows self‑trust, and how I’m learning to speak without feeling like I’m bragging. Instead of pretending to have answers, I’m practicing better questions and smaller promises: fifteen minutes of guitar, one page in a journal, one honest share. The through line isn’t mastery. It’s motion. If you’re lost, you’re not alone; being lost is sometimes the only honest place to begin.
If this resonates, hit play, sit with it, and then tell me one tiny step you’re taking this week. Subscribe for more raw, thoughtful conversations, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help others find the show. Your story might be the nudge someone else is waiting for.
What's going on? Not a lot here. Well, there's been a lot. But it's uh I think it's dragged me down in ways. I don't know. I hope everybody's doing okay. Um sorry. I just been struggling myself here lately with um with a lot of stuff. And I'm I'm just trying to trying to figure it all out. Some forms and fashions and whatever else. And I I know everybody's going through that. But not a lot of people I guess uh put much into it because of the daily rat race that we sh that we all have to figure out of why we do what we do for the reasons we do, and what's it all for? What's it all for? So my struggles, not that any of you give a fuck, but um just life in general, I guess. I mean, just I guess just having having a lost of lostness of of anything of what you're wanting out of life. I think that's my biggest struggle. Um it's not a matter of things are too hard. Um, some of it's a matter of I just don't want to do it. I I mean, do I do I strive to be a trash man and go up and drive a trash truck? No, I do not strive for that. Do I strive to have to rush to get to work every day and work for someone else? No, I do not. Um sorry, let me turn this down. I just try to I don't know. I've always struggled with this question of what is it that you want to do with your life. I just want to have fun and enjoy conversation, enjoy um thoughts, deep, you know, deep thoughts of things um and and bring humor to it. You know, and that's kind of why I've kind of wanted to do certain things with that, and but just not having the confidence completely to chase after it and and then of course all the other stacks of things that need to get done. Um that just overtake and take away from from the dreams, from the hopes of the wishes. So you you gotta I mean I you ain't gotta do shit, but so that I I struggle with the the path and the the steps to well I don't know try to get through it all. Um things you know that I have never done before that I did never understood because it just never was a thought, uh you know, but my mind constantly changes, and that's part of my struggle, is it constantly changes, it's all over the fucking place. Which I'm sure a lot of people out there are experiencing the same thing. So, but how much thought and process do you put into it? How much are you allowed to? How much are you able to sit around and and uh think about it? If that's what you're into. I mean, everybody's got their kink. So um what's been going on? What's been going on? I hope everybody's doing well with the weirdness of everything. I don't know it what you pay attention to or what you don't pay attention to, or what you allow to consume you. Um maybe that's part of my problem is I allow too much to take me over to insert it into my brain. But I think that's part of what makes it interesting, I guess. But I'm just down the wrong journey in a sense of some points. Of some I run down the wrong rabbit holes, I guess, too much. Um I don't know. I'm trying to get things done with where I'm trying to head with my next steps of life, and it just isn't going as smoothly as I had hoped. Um but you know, I I I don't have a a timeline in a sense that I want to get it done. And part of it is I just don't have all the finances for it either, which I'm working on. Okay. Um I don't remember what I've talked about. It's been a while since I've been on. There's been so much that's just been going on, and um just spinning endlessly, you know, just trying to go down the right direction, I guess. And there's always so many sidesteps and side roads that just get in the way. You know, distractions. The distractions, the distractions of life that just make you um make you veer from your your goal, I guess, or your I don't I don't know. I have no idea. I've tried, you know, I've tried all that in the past of the um you know people say do do a dream board or um whatever and yeah, I've done that. I mean I don't know. I'm sh I dream of the um I just don't have that, I guess, inside of me to desire the material things. You know um yes, I would like to travel and and see things and go to experience the world for the beauty of it, of of this rock spaceship that we are stuck on. Um not really stuck, but just get the opportunity to live on as we float through whatever it is that we're floating through. Um the darkness out there beyond which is wild. What's what what's what's up what's up there, what's out there? Um is it real? Have we been?
SPEAKER_00:That's the question. Are we round? Is it flat? Is there a dome that keeps us closed? The puppet masters that live above us.
SPEAKER_01:I don't the struggles, the worries, the wonders, the bullshit, the fun, the lessons those those are the reasons. So what brings what comes at the end? What's the purpose? That's the struggle. And no one knows. People have their premonitions, people have their thoughts. People have their desires. But no one knows. No one has that true answer. I want to believe that we get to come back and be reincarnated. And if you get a choice, I think I'd want to be a squirrel that gets to live in a walnut tree or a pecan tree. Cause those little fucking assholes will drop shit on you.
SPEAKER_00:And that's just how I feel right now. I feel like being a little asshole dropping fucking nuts on other people.
SPEAKER_01:Um trying to play the guitar. Something that I attempted to take on at eight. When I was eight years old. Attempted to take that on and start, and I guess I I don't know why I obviously didn't continue. I was eight. I uh there were other th other things that I started at that time. I think I started swimming competitively at eight. Um I I think around that time I had two very um important women in my life die. Um you know, so there was a lot. And then of course the time frame of you know of when I grew up at that time, you know. I mean so I don't know, whatever. My shit doesn't it I don't feel victimized, I don't feel like whatever, I don't understand. I just don't understand, you know. Yeah, things happen to me, okay. What for? Because other people are assholes, people don't know, nobody knows what the fuck to do. My parents didn't know anything about having kids and raising their kids, and nobody knew. You know, nobody knows. Everybody thinks they have an idea, but nobody knows. So I I you know I've come to that realization in in my life, and it just was like, well, okay, the reason I got molested as a kid by my scout master, I don't know. Who knows? Was I a good-looking kid? Could have been. I don't know. Was I adventurist and and just kind of curious? Sure. So I, you know, I didn't feel coerced, coerced, or however you say that fucking word. I didn't feel that at all. I didn't feel like I was swindled. He didn't offer me candy to come over or nothing. I it was just one of those fucking things. Um was it correct? No. After time and thought process about it. And I mean, I probably knew it at the time that it was wrong, but uh in some form or fashion, it it also I guess sparked more interest in me. I don't know. Maybe it changed things about me. Of course it probably did. If you really want to get psychological and fit, you know, whatever about it. I'm sure it fucked me up in some sorts. But oh well. What am I gonna do? Oh, I'm gonna come on here and share my information, but whatever. I don't uh so yeah, been trying to work on that, trying to get other things done. Um just a lot of in in a lot of steps right now of working on stuff. And but my struggle is is sharing that stuff. Um because I I think I've always felt like I've failed at everything, um, in a way, I guess. I don't know. But so that and I just I don't know how to promote myself, um, if that makes any sense. To um to brag, to to share. I just don't share. Um, I had a friend ask me that. Why don't you share? Well, I I just don't I I don't know. I I guess I'm doing it here. Why? Maybe this is more for me. Um this is my way of journaling, I guess. Although I was just putting pen to paper a little bit ago, which kind of s sparked all this. Although I've had the I guess I've had this the desire to want to record again. Um just too much other things taking over to keep me from doing it. And you know, that's the struggle with this part of it. Is the beginning. With anything, the beginning. In all of it. The middle's gonna be hard too, the in the end. It's gonna be is gonna be hard as well. But I guess that's part of life is just it's it's the struggle. How do you how do you surpass your struggle? Yeah. How do you surpass your struggle?