Episode - 32: Building Cabins While The World Feels On Fire

It’s 2 a.m., I’m tired, and my brain won’t stop spinning, so I hit record. After being gone for a bit, I talk honestly about what’s been pulling me away, what’s been keeping me up, and why everything feels strangely unreal lately.

My thoughts jump from war anxiety and the fear of a draft to the way constant conflict can make the future feel fragile. Then I shift into the real-life stuff that’s kept me busy: narrating romance audiobooks and spending weeks on a hands-on cabin renovation project, turning two buildings into rental cabins with framing, drywall, electric, plumbing, insulation, paint, and everything in between. There’s something stabilizing about building something physical when the news feels like it’s on fire.

From there, I wrestle with trust, media, and distance, reacting to the idea of going back to the moon while admitting how hard it is to believe anything you only experience through a screen. That doubt opens the door to flat earth curiosity, questions about “stitched” images, and the bigger modern worry: AI. I talk about layoffs, what universal basic income might look like, and why money can feel like an invented system that only works because we agree it does.

If you like late-night personal podcasts that blend current events, anxiety, skepticism, burnout, and dark humor, you’ll feel right at home. Subscribe, share this with someone who’s been doomscrolling, and leave a review with your take: what part of modern life feels most unreal to you?

Transcript

Back After A Long Break

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Five, four, three, two, one.

War Fears And Draft Anxiety

Late Night Work And Audiobooks

Turning Two Buildings Into Cabins

Moon Return And Trust Issues

Flat Earth Curiosity And Doubt

AI Layoffs And Basic Income Questions

End Times Thoughts And The Matrix

Burnout And Daily Life Repetition

Stepping Back From Social Media

Audible Romance Narration Plug

SPEAKER_00 0:22

What is going on? Man. I know it's been a bit. It's been a bit. It's been a bit. And I'm gonna try to keep it from being a bit again. I've just been busy, man. I've been busy. I've been I've got a lot going on right now, and I just don't know. I I just haven't been able to sit down and do this. I just haven't had the fucking I just haven't had the desire, I guess, to to really sit down and and and talk into this fucking thing and have you listened to me. Ramble on. But there's been so much going on, it's been crazy. The world is a mess. My life has actually kind of the been at a spot where it's been good, um, for the most part. Better than it's been in the last couple years, I guess. So that's a good thing, you know. I mean, one one positive of all the negatives that are floating around out there. We're at war. We're at war with Iran. All of my life I've always had this fear that we were gonna go fucking fight with Iran. And now we're doing it. Good old Donald Trump. Let's get it done. Yeah, let's bomb him, let's steal the oil. Yeah, that's what it's all about. Stealing the resources, these fucking stupid fucks. I don't know. I'm tired of it. I'm scared because my kids are still of age to to you know still get pulled into a draft. And I've been seeing a lot of uh lot of stuff out there in regards to draft. And so that that that uh that definitely brings a little um um I don't know the word right now. It's two o'clock in the morning. I'm tired. I just got done doing some narrating, which is another n thing, you know. So just one one more little thing just to add to the pot of all the other things that I try to do. So yes, I'm narrating another book. I did one, I don't know, about half a a little over half a year ago, and uh I think I I think I've made like a little bit on it, not much, but um, it's the experience, it's fun. I'm I've been doing romance novels, which is crazy that I that that's even a thing that I've that I've dabbled in or I've I've fallen into. I've become good. I wouldn't say good. I've I haven't become good. I've I don't know. I'm just I like telling a story, I like reading a story and and bringing it to life. So it's fun. But outside of that, I've just been busy with um trying to get some things done. Um I've been working on a project uh manually, you know, physically for the last uh oh three months since the beginning of the year, well towards the end of January. Um I've been uh been traveling and staying throughout the week at uh property of a uh friends of mine, and um I'm finishing off the interior of two buildings to turn them into cabins for them to rent out uh to for people to stay at. So um, so that's been interesting. Um going and getting all that done and whatever. I've been videoing it, so I haven't had time to really sit down and edit it, edit, edit any of it and get it uploaded. Um, but I am gonna put it up on YouTube just to kind of show the uh the process of it all. So one of my other many talents that I have, I'm um doing framing, building the insides of these cabins, uh running electric, running plumbing, um stuffing installation, and hanging drywall, and tape and mudding, and painting, and flooring, and sewer, and ditch digging, whatever. All of it. All of it that goes entail that is entailed into building a house, other than building the actual structure. Um the buildings were already pre-made, so which makes it nice, but I still had to kind of come off and and do everything from scratch. Uh design the inside, redesign the inside, and make it work based on the uh allotted amount of space that I had to work with. So they're kind of semi-quasi mini houses in a sense. Um but they're really not bad. Um two bedrooms, full bathroom, little kitchen, little area there's to kind of um, I guess, relax and whatnot. So, I mean, if if I was, you know, looking for a place to stay, this would be a place that I would definitely put on the list. So maybe, you know, who knows? Maybe you listening right now might want to be interested in staying in it, and you know, and maybe you might want to, you know, do that. So, and help out my my friends and help them earn a little bit of money back on what they've spent on this place, which I'm sure is an amount, an outrageous amount based on all the information that I've come across and all the experience that I've had over the years of how much things cost. Um so so yeah, that's what I've been doing. You know, worrying about when the world's gonna end, what's gonna happen, um, who's gonna who's gonna launch the first nuclear fucking rocket. But in the meantime, in the middle of all the bullshit, we we put some astronauts out to the moon again. So that's a wonderful thing. I mean, we bring in we you know, we can't just be on the other side of the world uh shooting people, endlessly killing and whatever else, and stealing resources and whatever the fuck is going on with whatever's happening in Iran, but needless to say, we went back to the moon. Yay! How about that? Wonderful, and I, you know, it it turned out really nice. You know, the pictures were neat, I guess. So I don't know. I think it's kind of cool. I I mean, I hope that it's true. I want to believe that it's true. I want to believe that it happened the first time back in the 60s, but it's hard to say. There's so many and so many things that make it look fake. So it's interesting. I mean, I I I have a hard time connecting with it because I don't experience it, so it's hard for me to really understand it and grasp it that it's actually real, just like the people that are on television. I I have a hard time believing they're real because I've never met them, I've never seen them in public, I've never seen them outside of anything that's on the fucking TV or on a screen. So I don't know if it's actually a real thing or not. I couldn't tell you. I mean, that's just where my head is. Who knows? It could be one of those things where we just have no idea, and it's just all fucking fake. It could be, just like the firmament outside out there that doesn't let the space rockets go out farther than than what people think. The flat earthers. Yes. Come on, let's go. Let's have a seat, let's let's sit down and have a conversation. Why do you think it's flat? Why? Why would you ever think that it's flat, that we live on a flat earth? I don't know. It might be. I haven't seen it from a distance, so other than would I go up in an airplane, and that doesn't show you much. And the pictures, I mean, you can't really buy the pictures because I've heard most of the pictures that we have of Earth are all fucking fake. Um, or they've been pieced together, stay, you know, kind of stitched together to make it look like one big fucking picture. So um, what else? That's about it. I just wanted to jump on here and say thanks for those that have listened to my bullshit. Um, I hope everybody's doing well. Um I know it's kind of a weird time right now with the everything that's fucking going on with AI, how powerful and and um and uh improving improving that it's becoming the different things that I've been hearing about it, um the the scariness of it all. Uh you know what's gonna come, you know. I'm not worried about it too much because it isn't gonna do anything to to affect me, I guess. I mean I guess in the long term it would. Um, but work-wise, I it isn't gonna do anything, it's gonna replace me for a long time. So um, so I'm not too concerned about that. But uh, I am concerned for other people out there. I've already started to kind of see a trend of things happening um in regards to layoffs and possibilities of people losing their jobs, and that's a that's that's not good. That's not good at all. Because if it does come to a point to where we do become a society uh of um universal income, I guess, in a sense, if you know if that becomes a thing where we have a basic income for everybody uh to live off of, but how does that look? What what does that bring? Um and how is that sustainable? Who I mean money is is a is an invented thing that we created in our imagination, um, and we put value on certain things like my pen here is worth more than my toothpick I that I use. So um I mean it makes sense as to why it would be worth more. It does more things and it and it but the point is is um I don't even know what the point is anymore. My brain's moving so quick I don't even fucking think I I can't think I can't think sideways whatsoever. I can only think in straight thoughts. Um I don't even know what I'm fucking saying anymore. So it's uh it's whatever April, middle April, and um we're at war. Fun. Scary. I don't know. I'm I'm curious. I think we're coming towards an end of uh I think we're I don't know. We might be. I think we're coming to the to the end. Um I think it's near. Like a reset. Like it's happened before, you know, thousands of times probably in this world. However long, however old this earth is, however whatever. Um I think we're gonna be the next dinosaurs. Possibly. You know, but we'll see. I guess it won't matter because if if I die, I won't really care. I'm not gonna know. It's not gonna bother me. I'm just curious what comes next. I'm excited in a way. Uh I mean, or it's just nothing. Like you're asleep and you just never wake up, I guess. You never know. You never know. You'll never, never know. You won't. I'm telling you, you won't know because you won't know. You'll have no fucking idea. You may, we may be, I might, I could be dead right now. And it's just my conscious continuing on in my own brain, in my own thoughts of that this is what's actually going on. I may not be real. This is the matrix. We're living in the matrix. I'm gonna wake up and I'm gonna see a fucking bunch of things attached to me just like they were in the matrix. It's coming to an end, I'm telling you. It's coming. The end is coming, it's near. I hope not. I mean, it doesn't matter, but um I don't know. I I I've often thought about it is I want to be done with it all because it's just kind of been modane and boring in a sense. You're doing the same shit every day. It's it's it can become very detrimental and um cumbersome in a way to where you're just it's repetitive. Okay, what do I gotta do today? I gotta wake up. I gotta fuck. I don't want to figure out what the fuck to eat today. I gotta figure that out too. Come on. Really? I just give me something. I don't want to figure out what the fuck I gotta eat every day. It's gets I'm just I'm tired of it. I'm tired of okay, what am I gonna do? I gotta I gotta get up, I gotta poop, I gotta shower, and then I gotta start my day, I gotta get some work done, and then I'll have to eat, and then uh I might have to take a shit again later, and it it's the same fucking repetitiveness. Some days I poop more than other days, some days I don't poop at all. But most days I poop at least twice. So who knows? Um I don't know. I'm I'm scared I I guess. Sort of. And does it really matter? It's weird. I don't it's just a weird moment. It's a weird time. It's weird for me. Weird feels weird. I'm so disconnected from everybody and everything right now, and I just I don't it just doesn't feel it doesn't feel real. I don't pay attention. I mean I pay attention to a little bit, but I don't really pay attention. I kind of dabble and I flip and scroll and I doom. I don't really doom scroll anymore. I'm trying to stop myself from doing as much as possible. Um so I try to stay off of the social media as much as I can. Um because it sometimes it just kind of it gets to me, I guess. I don't know. And I'm sure that does that for everybody else, but um so I don't know. I'm gonna go. Um I guess have a good week. And however long it takes me to come back. Well, I'll be back. I'm not I'm not done yet. Um I'm still trying to sort it all out and get everything else kind of squared away and um done with. And then I can um concentrate on this more, I guess. If this is what I want to do. But um, you need to listen to my book when it comes out. Um both of them, the two that I have out there I've narrated. Listen to it, please. Uh you can hear this stupid sounding voice tell a story, a romance. A love story. Yeah, yeah. You can listen to me tell a love story. A romance, yeah. About a lovely, a lovely little girl that falls in love with another dude, and they go off and they just fuck. And I don't know. It's not a porno, it's not one of them smut muh, smut runs, whatever, but um, I don't know. It's fun, it's kind of interesting to to bring it to to life. So listen to it, it's out on audible. I'll send you, I can share you the information and whatever else. I don't remember the name of the first oh Whispers We Hide, I think was the first book that I did. So look it up, look it up Whispers We Hide by Linda Gallen. And you can listen to my voice tell you the story. So um, this next one I'm doing is called Hearts in the Frost. So um be on the lookout for that one. I've think I've got till the end of May to get it done. So um, so yep, we'll see. All right, you guys take care. We'll see ya. Bye.