28 Dierdre Barnes: candle maker, business owner

Dierdre Barnes is the proud owner of F.L.Y. Girl Candles, based in Louisville, Kentucky.

F.L.Y. stands for “First Love Yourself.” This mantra is deeply woven into the fabric of the brand. It reflects Dierdre’s own journey and the ethos of F.L.Y. Girl Candles. Each candle is named to inspire self-care and self-love. The candles are thoughtfully created with eco-friendly, sustainable soy wax, which ensures that they burn clean and slow, enriching your environment without harming it

Dierdre is a mom of two wonderful kiddos and a native of Mt. Sterling, Kentucky. She has a bachelor’s degree in business from the University of Louisville. She always dreamed of being a business owner, not just for the independence it offers, but also for the opportunity to create and design a schedule that fits her life and allows her to be present for my family.


https://www.flygirlcandles.com/
https://www.facebook.com/flygirlcandles
https://www.instagram.com/flygirlcandles/
https://www.tiktok.com/@flygirlcandles

Dierdre is offering a generous discount for listeners of the Writers Rotation podcast! Use discount code WR20 for 20% off F.L.Y. Girl Candles.


Kathie’s note: I learned about F.L.Y. Girl Candles in early February 2023 from one of my Realtor friends, Rachel Crabtree, on Facebook. She said she had been talking with a couple at a restaurant and learned all about their daughter’s candle company. It was Dierdre's company! Rachel bought “Just Breathe” and “Let That Shit Go.” I ran to Fly Girl Candles and got “Goddess Vibes” and “Naughty Whispers.” So happy to call myself a repeat customer, and meeting Dierdre in audio-person has been absolutely delightful. I’m just in awe.


Writers Rotation intro/outro recorded at Dynamix Productions in Lexington, Kentucky.

Transcript

Dierdre [00:00:00]:
I'm Deirdre Barnes. I'm a candle maker, and words are magic.

INTRO [00:00:04]:
Hi. Welcome to the Writers Rotation podcast. I'm your host, Kathie Stamps. I love words and writing and people and talking. So I'm talking to people who write all kinds of things in different professions. It's a Writers Rotation. 

Kathie [00:00:22]:
Deirdre, how you doing? And you have your merch on.

Dierdre [00:00:26]:
Gotta put it on.

Kathie [00:00:27]:
Yes. Okay, Fly Girl. How did you come up with the name? 

Dierdre [00:00:32]:
So F L Y is First Love Yourself. I was on my self-love journey.

Kathie [00:00:38]:
Love it.

Dierdre [00:00:39]:
Yeah. The FLY came to me and then the Girl is because I'm always a, hey, girl. What's up, girl? What's going on, girl? So I just put it together. Fly Girl.

Kathie [00:00:49]:
When did you start your business?

Dierdre [00:00:51]:
Right before COVID. I was journaling, doing a lot of self-love, and I had a friend tell me about candle making. So I bought my first candle kit in December of 2019. I remember making the candles, and then from there I was able to get them to my friends. And after that, COVID came, and that's when I started getting out there. So I was little pre-COVID baby.

Kathie [00:01:19]:
So you found the internet ecommerce worked really well for you and still does?

Dierdre [00:01:25]:
It did. It still does. So before I had Fly Girl Candles, I did drop shipping. So I already had the Shopify set up for that. Once I started seeing more sales and people buying from me online, I'm like, whoa, we gotta put this on a website because this is, you know, taking me a little longer than I want, to process orders and get them out.

Dierdre [00:01:46]:
So I finally uploaded the pictures and switched everything over to Fly Girl Candles.

Kathie [00:01:51]:
I'm trying to think how I found you. I think somebody on Facebook said, “Oh, I found this really cool candle company in Louisville.” And I'm like, well, I'm not going to drive to Louisville, but I will. And I was trying to go soy instead of department store. What is the, there's bad stuff in the in the smelly candles. I can't remember what it was.

Dierdre [00:02:11]:
All the bad things.

Kathie [00:02:12]:
Bad things. And I had so many of them because I love candles. I love walking in and lighting one, and my house smells like tangerines or whatever. So you are soy candles. And then you put sweet little flowers and little things in there.

Dierdre [00:02:30]:
I do. They're so cute. I love doing the flowers on them. A lot of them are locally sourced.

Kathie [00:02:37]:
I was going to ask.

Dierdre [00:02:39]:
And just want to let you know the Goddess Vibe candle, the rose on top, I got it from this couple where their partner gave her roses every Friday for a year. I'm like, that is so much love, you know what I'm saying? Going into that candle. So, yeah, y'all get some love.

Kathie [00:02:58]:
My favorite is the Goddess Vibe. It has a little musk in there?

Dierdre [00:03:02]:
The amber is doing the musk. It's an Egyptian amber.

Kathie [00:03:05]:
Oh, I do like the amber.

Dierdre [00:03:08]:
Oh, you're a amber girl.

Kathie [00:03:09]:
And one of my favorite things about your company, when you mail your product, you have a little handwritten note card. I almost cried the first one I got.

Dierdre [00:03:18]:
Aw. I love that.

Kathie [00:03:20]:
Ruined me with a handwritten note card. When did you decide to do that? How did that come about?

Dierdre [00:03:25]:
I feel like that's something way back. Because my mom, she's been passed away, I think, a good 10, 14 years now. I can't remember off top, but she always wrote me cards, you know, sent me notes. And I remember her telling me when somebody gets something or you want to thank them, send them a handwritten note. So that's some love that's been passed down. It does mean a lot when you all support my business. So I want to take time to recognize that. I'm so thankful, you know, that you guys do and I give you some time and give you a little surprise when you open up.

Kathie [00:04:01]:
Yeah. That's one of the things I love about small businesses. It's the one on one.

Dierdre [00:04:06]:
Yes. It is.

Kathie [00:04:07]:
And you have a degree in business.

Dierdre [00:04:09]:
I do.

Kathie [00:04:10]:
So when you were a little kid, what did you want to be when you're when you grew up?

Dierdre [00:04:13]:
I wanted to own a business. I want to be a CEO of a company. I didn't know what company it was. I even made business cards back then to hand out to people. So this has been in my heart.

Kathie [00:04:26]:
There's little 5-year-old Dierdre running around going, I am a CEO. I don't know what that stands for, but I am a CEO.

Dierdre [00:04:34]:
Exactly. I wanted I wanted to run the business.

Kathie [00:04:38]:
And run the world, you know, while you're at it.

Dierdre [00:04:39]:
Oh, yes. Of course. Of course.

Kathie [00:04:42]:
So you knew you were going to go major in business? 

Dierdre [00:04:44]:
I knew I was going to major in business. And the funny part is, when I did start at college I did computers first. So it's computer information systems where you would rebuild the computers. But what turned me away from it was I did an internship. It was two internships rebuilding computers and stuff, and it wasn't me, the environment. You know what I'm saying? Because you're sitting there by yourself isolated, and I feel like I'm a let me walk around. Let me talk to people. Let me meet some people.

Dierdre [00:05:15]:
And then I found out more about it, you know? I'm like, let's get in the business. That's what I want to do anyway. And to me, it is networking. Who you know. Getting to know people, and building that community around you. So, yeah, I know where I'm supposed to be at.

Kathie [00:05:33]:
So you really had a leg up on the entrepreneurship. Your learning curve was not as steep as some people's.

Dierdre [00:05:39]:
Right.

Kathie [00:05:40]:
What were you doing right before you opened up Fly Girl Candles?

Dierdre [00:05:44]:
Aw, man. Let's see here. If we roll back a little bit, I can take it back to when I worked for a corporation. I remember looking out the window thinking, there's gotta be more. There's gotta be more. I can't be you know, like, it just didn't feel like me. And I remember my boss said, so we're going to be letting you go. Do you want me to fight, you know, for you to stay? And I remember I looked at her, and I was like, no. Oh, please don't fight for me to stay. I'm ready to go. To me, this is my answer to what I've been asking for. So when I was let go, then I was able to get my certification to become a personal trainer. I started training people, getting people in shape.

Dierdre [00:06:28]:
And then at the time, I had my second child. And then what happened after that was I started doing it's called Shipt, where you grocery shop for people. And then that's when I found candles. And what happened was, I was doing candles and Shipt, and then I had a shift happen to me because I had asked for this business, but now I'm working Shipt. And I noticed my orders were getting smaller and smaller. I wasn't getting enough. At first, I was upset, and then I sat back and I said, oh, I asked for a candle business, and you gave it to me.

Dierdre [00:07:01]:
So you're telling me to go ahead and go ahead and make the switch, and let's go full time.

Kathie [00:07:06]:
Oh, wow.

Dierdre [00:07:07]:
Yep. So I let go of the grocery shopping, and I dove in to these candles.

Kathie [00:07:11]:
Do you have employees?

Dierdre [00:07:14]:
So right now, this summer, I did have an intern, and she ended up moving away because, you know, she got a great job using her degree. I also have my sorority sister, her bonus daughter. She comes into help, and then I have some great friends. When I have double events booked, they're typically available and able to work those events for me as well. 

Kathie [00:07:35]:
What kind of events do you have people come in and make their own candles?

Dierdre [00:07:39]:
I have done the candle workshop before. I do a self-love workshop. I do the candle making piece. And then my friend Rakita Goodwin, she's a self-love coach. So while the candles sit, you are getting poured into. And it's like the most fulfilling thing that I've ever felt because you guys are getting poured into with love, you know what I'm saying? And you get to take the things you made. And, like, every time we're done, I look at my friend bringing it. I was like, I feel like we won. Like, every single night, I'm like, I don't know what we won, but I feel like we did it. And it it's a great feeling when we, close.

Kathie [00:08:15]:
That is so cool. And what about your ecommerce? Most of your customers are from where and as far away as what?

Dierdre [00:08:22]:
I know I've shipped out to California. I've shipped up to New York and down in New Orleans. I've seen Tennessee on there, Ohio, Indiana. We're connecting out there.

Kathie [00:08:35]:
Do you also have places that you sell retail?

Dierdre [00:08:38]:
Yes, ma'am. So I do wholesale opportunities here locally in Louisville. Just to name a few is a Woman Owned Wallet, Fox Hollow Farm, the Louisville Salt Cave. In Lexington, I've got Black Soil Kentucky. Down in New Orleans, it's called Minding My Garden. And Campbellsville is a Daybreak Handmade, just to name a couple of them.

Kathie [00:09:02]:
Oh, that's very cool.

Dierdre [00:09:03]:
Yeah. It's amazing.

Kathie [00:09:04]:
How do you fill your own bucket? How do you handle your own self-love?

Dierdre [00:09:10]:
Oh, man. My self-love is I love to exercise, and I love walking. I love being out in nature. And I don't know. It's just something about it, the sun on my skin. You know? The fresh air feels amazing. The little birds singing? Yes. And I say the trees wave at me. To me, it's a connection. It's a great connection out there.

Kathie [00:09:36]:
Yes. Reading and writing as a child, what did that look like for you growing up?

Dierdre [00:09:41]:
Reading and writing, I love books. Love them. Love them. As far as writing, I did a little bit of it, but then I got more into it after I joined a planning group, and we had, like, a women's retreat. And they talked about the importance of journaling and getting everything out. And that's when I started starting to write down my goals more, what I want, what it looks like, like being clear on my intentions. So I guess the older, the wiser we get. 

Kathie [00:10:12]:
What does your journal practice look like?

Dierdre [00:10:15]:
I try to do mine in the mornings. And if I hit or miss the mornings, I at least try to get it in at night.

Kathie [00:10:20]:
So you're in every day?

Dierdre [00:10:22]:
I try to do every day.

Kathie [00:10:26]:
What about, do you go back and read them?

Dierdre [00:10:28]:
I have. The ones I love to read are the ones where I write out, like, how I saw my day. You know? I don't know how to explain that. Like, what my day looks like, or want it to be like. And I'm like, wow, I'm doing that now. That feels great. Or the ones where I'm talking to myself to keep pushing myself. Like, those feel good because I'm like, wow. I was going through some stuff, and I'm rooting for myself. And, you know, here I am today. Like, those things are, yeah, I like those.

Kathie [00:10:58]:
Love it. So in the in the cycles that we get through life, what do you do when you're down? Just, I know it's going to go back up. We can’t avoid those.

Dierdre [00:11:08]:
No. Because, I go to therapy as well, so that's a big thing. I've told a lot of people therapy has helped me a lot. I've been going, I think, the past two or three years now. And she said that's more of the ebb and flow. That's what she calls it. She says, it'll happen. You know? And when that happens, what I try to do is get outside.

Dierdre [00:11:34]:
I try to connect out there. The next thing I try to do is call a friend. Call somebody so I can talk to them because it's sometimes when I get down, it's almost like, oh, I'm isolated and nobody in this in your in your head. And I'm like, no. I have friends that love me.

Dierdre [00:11:51]:
So then I start getting on that phone, start, you know, getting myself together, then I start listening to music and getting things to make me laugh so I can start coming up out of that.

Kathie [00:12:00]:
Some endorphins going. Social media, newsletters, blogs. You're writing all the time, I'm assuming.

Dierdre [00:12:08]:
Oh my goodness. I'm a be like, Mark, where is my check? Like, I've been with you since college when you invented this. I do post every day because I feel like that is our quote-unquote free advertisement. So I'm like, I gotta put something out here. I do try my best to schedule out the main thing. So I love on my Instagram posting the quotes. I have those scheduled out to come out. I believe it's on Thursdays they roll out.

Dierdre [00:12:39]:
So I make sure those go out. And then other than that, you know, I'm trying my best to get on there and post and share.

Kathie [00:12:45]:
What do you use? Which platforms?

Dierdre [00:12:47]:
Oh, I use Instagram and Facebook right now. And then I start using my TikToks to get more of the music and the good videos. 

Kathie [00:12:56]:
Yes. Your personality.

Dierdre [00:12:58]:
Yes. And LinkedIn. LinkedIn, I have a little bit on there as well.

Kathie [00:13:03]:
It's all a lot of work.

Dierdre [00:13:05]:
It is.

Kathie [00:13:05]:
When did your Q4 start? Like, in August, July?

Dierdre [00:13:09]:
Yeah. Because, like, seriously, July, I was like, what scent do they want for Christmas? What scent do they you know, like, I have to get on it. Like, I was happy this year to know that I was rolling out with my fall scents when Hobby Lobby had their fall stuff out. That means I'm right on time rolling out my stuff.

Kathie [00:13:28]:
That's wild.

Kathie [00:13:29]:
Well, I found myself in August going, where's my ‘25 planner? I've never done that before. I've been a December 29th.

Dierdre [00:13:37]:
Oh my gosh, I'm the same way.

Kathie [00:13:39]:
So what kind of business plan do you have out? Your 5-year, your 25-year?

Dierdre [00:13:44]:
I feel like I have my 5-year plan out, where I want to see myself and go. I know right now my next step is building this team because I am over here manifesting a team. I'm working on letting go because that's so hard when this is your baby. Oh, that's right. Yes. Delegating. Exactly. I'm going to talk to my therapist on this tomorrow.

Kathie [00:14:08]:
When you're vice president in charge of absolutely everything, and what do you let go? You don't want to let go of the thing that's the most fun or the thing you enjoy the most.

Dierdre [00:14:19]:
And candle making is a therapy for me because when I did start making candles, watching the soy wax melt down, adding in her fragrance, now you're stirring it. You're seeing it dissolve, and then you're pouring it into these jars, and then you get to watch it solidify. Like, it's so calming and soothing for whatever reason for me.

Kathie [00:14:43]:
Well, it sounds like an art form.

Dierdre [00:14:45]:
Yes, I love it.

Kathie [00:14:48]:
And what is, from beginning to end is how long?

Dierdre [00:14:52]:
I have a big, melting brewer in the back. So what I'll do, I'll typically pour about, let me see, close to 96 candles at a time.

Kathie [00:15:02]:
Wow.

Dierdre [00:15:03]:
That takes me about, let's say, about an hour and a half. And I do mine in sections. So I'll pour one day, then I'll come back, trim the wicks, and decorate the tops and label them. So to me, it's about a two-day process.

Kathie [00:15:17]:
Batching.

Dierdre [00:15:18]:
Yes. But what's funny is I feel like I work three hours at a time. You're going to get a good three hours of focus out of me. Okay. Let's say I come in three hours earlier in the day, and then let's say about 8 o'clock, I'm like, you know what? Let me go back in, and then I'll come back over here for another three hours and finish up because I like to watch shows and you know? I'd rather be making my candles than watching the show at the same time. It just feels good now.

Kathie [00:15:46]:
Do you read books now?

Dierdre [00:15:49]:
Yes. Right now, I'm focused on more mindset books. I'm reading The Art of Believing and The Untethered Soul. So I'm in between those books right now. I also like to do podcasts, and those are mindset as well. So those are giving me knowledge and, you know, having me think more and think about my thinking, you know, my mindset. Oh, the other book I love is The Four Agreements. Miguel. Miguel. I can't remember, his last name starts with R?

Kathie [00:16:18]:
Sure. Is that the one, be impeccable with your word? Yes. So that's the first one. And the first time I read that, I said, I’m out. How can anyone be impeccable with their words? I mean, I would love to. I would love to be that. Ruiz. Don Miguel Ruiz.

Dierdre [00:16:39]:
So our words are magic. Let me say that. Our words are magic. Words can be good or bad, depending on how you use it.

Kathie [00:16:47]:
Do you have a word of the year?

Dierdre [00:16:50]:
My word is uncomfortable.

Kathie [00:16:52]:
Your word of the year for ‘24 has been uncomfortable?

Dierdre [00:16:56]:
Uncomfortable. You want to know why?

Kathie [00:16:58]:
Tell me everything. Yes.

Dierdre [00:17:01]:
Because in your comfort zone, you're not getting anywhere.

Kathie [00:17:03]:
No. But I want to stay in my comfort zone. I know. Right? You want it to be more comfortable.

Dierdre [00:17:11]:
Oh my god. Yes. And I said, I want to be uncomfortable all year.

Kathie [00:17:15]:
Wow.

Dierdre [00:17:15]:
So I can get out of my comfort zone and start hitting these goals and zones and things that I can't see, the things that I'm scared of. Because I realized all this stuff that makes me uncomfortable, it's been fun. It's been great. It's been beautiful. Really? Yes.

Kathie [00:17:30]:
As an example.

Dierdre [00:17:32]:
So one thing that I did this year that was uncomfortable was sign up for a workout group that's at 6 a.m. in the morning. Sometimes I never do on Monday and Wednesdays to push myself because I want to sleep in. I want to be cozy. Who wants to wake up at 5 o'clock in the morning? Nobody. Nobody wants to do that. So I did that. Yes. And I've lost 30 pounds.

Dierdre [00:17:56]:
I love the way you know, like, I've felt so much more in love with myself. Another thing I did that was uncomfortable for me was learn how to swim. I learned how to swim, and my kids got to learn how to swim. The first couple of weeks, that was me going under the water.

Kathie [00:18:17]:
And now are you a little fish?

Dierdre [00:18:19]:
Pretty much a fish. I still won't go out in the deep end just yet because I still tread the water. I feel like this year, I've done a lot of uncomfortable, and I feel like maybe next year, it might be “action,” because there's a few things that I want to do that is uncomfortable. I know what to do, but I need to put action behind it. So like I said, growing a team, that really needs to fruition. I like to write down all my goals, and one of them this year was to get on five podcasts.

Dierdre [00:18:53]:
You know, to get my brain out there, let people get to know me some, and then also, offer discount code, you know, so that they can come back and shop with me as well. So

Kathie [00:19:04]:
This is so cool.

Dierdre [00:19:05]:
Yes. Yes. I appreciate you having me on here and reaching out and support me. Like I said, it means the world to me. It means the world. When I said this is what I had asked for, we need to do all the things. I asked for this, so let's do all the things because my mom sees a big million-dollar company that's out here, that's known, and I love it when I hear people I know say, oh my God, I saw your candles over here.

Dierdre [00:19:35]:
And I'm like, well, how did it make you feel? I felt so good, and that's what I wanted. I want y'all to feel good to see the brand grow. You know? It makes me smile. And it makes me smile that you smile.

Kathie [00:19:47]:
This has been so fun.

Dierdre [00:19:49]:
I'm so excited.

Kathie [00:19:50]:
Thank you so much.

Dierdre [00:19:52]:
Of course.

Kathie [00:19:52]:
All right. See you. Bye.

Kathie [00:19:55]:
Thanks for listening to this episode of Writers Rotation. Like and subscribe for more. And remember, writing is a marketable skill. Smiling is a remarkable skill.