Spicy Spectrum Live: Can You Love Someone and Still Cheat?

Can someone genuinely love their partner and still cheat?

I opened that question up on Spicy Spectrum Live, and what followed became a much broader conversation about how people actually navigate love, attraction and commitment.

We explored cheating, open relationships, jealousy, marriage, dating, exclusivity, relationship hierarchy and the uncomfortable difference between what people say relationships should look like and how they sometimes function in real life.

I don't expect everyone who joins these conversations to agree with me.

I'd rather hear what people actually think.

Listen to the full conversation and decide where you stand.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 1:17

Welcome to another episode of Spicy's Faction Live, where we stream every Monday at 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time and we tackle a controversial question. Tonight I want to talk about cheating because one thing I've noticed over the past few years of doing the sign of work in the adult industry is that many assume that if somebody cheats, they automatically want to be with the other person. Whatever the case may be as to why. But that's not always what I hear from men. If you're new here, I'm Peppercat. I've been working in the adult industry for four plus years. I speak to thousands of men. I continue to speak to thousands of men. And I've noticed a common pattern when a partner is secretive. Sometimes they may love their partner and may still pursue something different. Completely different from what their partner may be. Who they may be. Sometimes it's about novelty, sometimes it's about a new flavor of the week, I'm gonna be honest. Sometimes it's about compatibility, sometimes cheating revolves a fantasy that they never brought to their partner, but they want to do it behind closed doors, including in the fantasy space. So tonight I want to hear directly from you. Can a man truly love his wife and still cheat on her? I love for you to come up and tell me why. I opened this space for anyone who liked to join me. I'll do one by one. Let me adjust this camera here. I'll do one by one and I'll give you a couple of minutes to answer. And then I'll have the next person. Sorry, I'm just kind of making sure my timer is on. If you're interested, feel free to come on stage. Please turn off your background noise. Please no music in the background. And I do not bite. Only if you if you don't want me to. If you don't want me to bite. But yeah, so if you'd like to join, come up on stage. Um, please turn off your camera and tell me your thoughts. Tonight's question is can a man truly love his wife and still cheat on her? This is this week's topic. I will be expanding on my podcast by C Spectrum. But tonight, I'm interested in hearing from you. I want to hear what you think. I want to know your thoughts on this controversial topic. And obviously, most the majority of my clients are married men, partnered men, fiancés, husbands, boyfriends. And so I speak to a lot of men in my line of work where some may consider visiting fantasy spaces without their partner knowing is cheating. So I actually had a guy on my show a couple years back. I changed his voice and everything. He I was asking him straight up, why do you, you know, visit certain sites without your partner knowing? Why do you cheat? And he gave me an answer. He said, I like different flavors. Sometimes I like this flavor today, sometimes I like this flavor tomorrow. Um, this was in terms of fantasy spaces, but it does apply to cheating as well because it was a case where he was, I think he was doing it not behind a partner's back. So I'm interested in knowing your perspective. Both men and women are welcome. If you've been cheated on, if you've cheated, or you just have a perspective, please join me. All you have to do is follow me, write in the chat. Hey, I like to be, you know, I like to be on stage. Thank you for the love. Welcome. Oh, I see some people. Andrew. Welcome, Andrew. Welcome. I don't wanna I don't want to say your name incorrectly. I'll just call you guk. I'll just I'll just call you guys the the guak snob. You must like guacano guacamole. You're making me hungry. Alright, so yes, if you like to come on stage, turn off your mic. Um, sorry, not to turn off your mic, turn off your camera, and feel free to join. Um tell me your perspective. Or if you're a little shy, you can also just put it in the chat and I'll just read it out loud. Or you can DM me if you don't want me to people to see your name, I guess. And tell me um, tell me your perspective. Tell me what you think. Can a man truly love his wife and still cheat on her? And I like to know an another question I like to ask, because obviously I speak to men obviously in my line of work, um, and they tell me, but I want to hear straight out of your specifically men's voices as to why cheating happens. Why, why do you think cheating happens? I'm interested. And also women too, but um, because my main clientele are men, I do like to like gather like perspectives from everyone, um, and then just kind of add to the conversation. We will be expanding this Wednesday on my podcast by C Spectrum on all audio streaming platforms for podcasts, but I want to open the floor before we dive in this upcoming Wednesday. I want to hear from you. This is a chance for you to come on, share your perspective, and tell me more. So I'm curious who is a brave soul? Wait, do we have any brave souls who like to come on Sage first? Or are you all shy like last week? Some people were shy last week, but we did have like I think four or three people come up on Sage. So this isn't one of the panels that happens on TikTok where it's like a bunch of people like arguing and bickering back and forth. This is one-on-one. It's like a call-in show. So who like to join? Or would you like to share in the chat? Let me know. You all are very shy today. I don't know, I don't know what's going on. But this whole month we will be tackling the topic of cheating. That's this month's this season's conversation and break it down into different um different different topics. So tonight, who like to answer or put it in the chat and I'll read it out loud. Let me know. If you do request, sometimes I don't always see it. So just write in the chat, hey, I requested to come up here and I'll bring you up here. So I see a couple of people trickling in. I see I don't want to butch eagles' names, but feel free to come on or I'll just ramble about what I've heard. If you're new here, I'm Peppercat. I've been working in the adult industry for four plus years. The majority of my clients are married men, boyfriends, fiances. I've asked them straight up why they go behind their spouse's back for certain things. They've told me, but I want to hear from you. I don't, I don't, I have I have my perspective with what I've observed and what I've heard, but I want to hear from you as to, you know, why do you think cheating happens? Can a man truly love his wife and still cheat on her? I want to know your thoughts. Have have you been cheated on? Have you cheated? Who is a brave soul? I need a brave soul to come up. Who wants to be the first person to share their perspective? Let me know. Both men and women are welcome. I want to hear your perspective. I'll tell you what I've heard since nobody wants to come up. Well, while everyone's trickling in on what I've heard in my industry, obviously I speak to men um in my line of work. I've spoken to thousands of men working in my industry. Men mostly most men are partnered who um come to me for sessions. Um, a lot of times they may come because they have a fantasy that they don't want to share with their spouse. They don't want it to be exposed. Um, they may want to separate how they show themselves with me to their wife or partner. A lot of times it's opportunity. Um, so that's what I've observed with the men, with the married men who have come to me for sessions. Um, and they honestly, for me, what I've seen is they want to separate whatever they're into fantasy-wise. They don't see their partner doing that, and they kind of want to, it's kind of like the Madonna whore complex. Um, they may have a secret that they don't want revealed. I've heard a lot of times where they don't want things backfired, but I'm curious to know your perspective too. I can only share mine, but that's what I've heard. Um, most of my clients who see me are they cheat on their spouses. So they tell me things, but I like to know what you think too. I don't want to just base it off of what I hear and what I observe. So both men are men and women are welcome. Um, if you just got in here, please just let me know. Hey, I requested to join and I'll bring you up on stage. So feel free to come up here. I don't bite. I don't bite, or just put it in the chat and I'll just read it out loud. So you're pretty shy about this topic. I know it's a sensitive topic, but this it's this week's topic on my podcast. This upcoming Wednesday, so I wanna know. I wanna know your perspective. Can a man truly love his wife and still cheat on her? Another thing, you know, I've I've spoken to the married men um who I've spoken to, you know, through my line of work. And um a lot of them do say they still love their wives. Like if they come to me for like a certain like fantasy or whatever, they're like, I still love my wife. It's just I don't know, like she doesn't want to do it, or I don't want her to know I'm into this, or they just straight up just do it because the the opportunity presents itself. Like I've spoken to some of my clients where they're not just talking to me, even though like I'm not interested in being with them. They'll say, Oh, like, can we talk about a fantasy of me and my mistress or whatever? Like this woman at work, you you you kind of look like her, and I wanna, I don't know, whatever, you like have a fantasy about her or whatever. Like, that's typically too. Um I know some people consider cheating visiting fantasy sites, and some people don't. For the majority, most of my clients, their spouses don't know they're on these sites. Some of them do. I want to say this like something I've noticed is that a lot of my clients from Europe or have some origin in Europe, their spouses know what they do. More so the men in the United States, they're the ones who are a little bit more um hesitant to tell their spouses what they're into. I do find that my European clients are open with their spouses about what they're into. Like that is something I've noticed. Um like for like I just spoke to a client where his his wife literally knows that he talks to me. Like they it's just it's just open like that. Um, the guys in the US are a little bit more sneaky, like a little bit more like sneaking around. And the guys in Europe are like, yeah, my wife knows that I'm talking to you, or like, yeah, my wife knows that I have a mistress, or you know, I have a or that I have a girlfriend, like that's normal. Um in the US, they're kind of a little bit more like secretive about their their second life. And I'm also curious to know too what anyone thinks about that. Why do you think too, like certain countries where open relationships are more common as opposed to somebody cheating on their spouse in the US too? Like that's something I've noticed personally as someone who's most who mo most of my clients are partnered men. Um I've I've noticed that in terms of regions. Um, yeah, there's a lot of so there's a lot of suppression too in the in the US in terms of like just just being honest. So mostly like they just like lie. Um and I often find that people from other countries are just more open, they're just more honest with their spouses. Um, with being open and wanting an open relationship or stepping out, they're just like, hey, like this is what I want to do. And so I'm curious to know your thoughts. You all are so shy, like, who wants to come up, or you're you can just have Pepper just talk. Are you all just listening just to what I say? But yeah, so those are my observations. Um, speaking to partnered men or men who are married or with girlfriends, fiancés. Um, yeah. Another thing I've noticed too. Okay, I'm I'm giving you all like all of the details. Like, um, obviously, like another thing I've seen specifically with fiancés, I'll have them contact me, like, hey, I'm getting married in like a couple of weeks, and I just want to get it out of my system, and da-da-da-da-da. So, like, I've seen that, like, where they want to get it out of their system before they get married, even though they're they'll they'll probably cheat when they're in their marriage. Like, if you're getting out, if you're getting it out of your system now, you're probably gonna repeat that. Like, I'm just being honest, but like I see that as well too, like from men who are about to get married, they have this like um they they they they they just want to get it out of their system because like I guess they're in monogamous relationships, and so then if they get it out their system, they're like, I I guess I don't know, I don't want to speak for men. They're like, I want to get it out of my system because I'm gonna be with this woman forever. So I've seen that too, where they're like, Yeah, I just want to like be naughty before my wedding. So that's like another thing. So I'm curious to know your thoughts. Would anyone like to come up? You're more than welcome to. Men and women, there's no there's no limitation. You're shy about this one, I guess. Maybe some people just don't want to to, I don't know, for your you know what your identity to be revealed or something. You can also type it in the chat and I can and I can I can read it. Like if you want to answer the uh prompt too, if you want to DM me on TikTok, I'll read it out loud and I won't say your name. If you say, hey, please don't say my name. But these are my thoughts, like you can do that too. So um, yeah. Join the conversation. Can a man truly love his wife and still cheat on her? So I'm curious to know your questions, your thoughts on this spicy conversation. Um, so yeah. Who would like to come up? Who would like to join the conversation? If you join, let me know and write in the chat and I'll bring you up. One one by one, though. This isn't one of those panels where people like argue back and forth. Like I personally like to just hear people's perspective and just let you talk. And then I may like ask a question or do a follow-up or challenge you, maybe, you know, but um the floor is open. And if you're new, make sure to follow me too. I have a lot of insight that many may not have. Thank you. Um, I just saw this. Sorry, um, Andrew, thank you for the rose. I appreciate that. I didn't even see the little alert. It was it was supposed to show on screen and it didn't. Thank you for the rose, Andrew. I appreciate it. And thank you for those who have liked the live. Can we get a couple of more likes, please, if you've been sitting in here? Just just like click a little. Give me a couple of little likes. Um, but yeah, that's tonight's question. I usually hold these lives um between 7 p.m. and 8 p.m. So we only have an hour. We really have almost 40 minutes, 40 minutes left. You all just want me to sit here and then tell me what married men tell me. Alright, I'm just gonna tell you, and then some brave soul will want to come up. Um, another thing, um, married men have told me. Um majority, like I've I've asked partner men who come to me, you know, for sessions. I'm like, why why don't you just do this way like with your girlfriend or wife? Um they don't even some of them don't even think to do it because they think that their wife may not be into what they're into, but you never know, like women are freaks. But anyway, like um, so like that too, like they may not want their wife to find out what they're really into, and like kind of just do it on the low because they just want to separate it, so they don't want to be exposed, I guess, like for what they're into. And I do hear a lot of um things that a lot of married men are into, and um, I'm not gonna lie, like if I were their wife and they told me I'd probably divorce them, like for like certain things that they tell me that they're into. Um, but you know, honestly though, like I've had times where um a married man may be into something and his partner knows, and it's super taboo. So you just never know. I think it all depends on the person um and your partner as to what you're into. Like, you don't know unless you ask, you know what I mean? And so a lot of married men who come to me for sessions, they don't they just assume that their partner is just not gonna accept them for who they are, and oh, like it's just like a 50-50. Like she may leave you or she may want, or she may not leave you. Like, it's like you just never know. Um, I don't know how to pronounce your name, but I'm going to see. Um, you said, Hi Kat, have you gotten a chance to check your DM? No, I haven't. Did you did you answer the prompt? Is this the prompt? Um I'm gonna check my DM now. Is it a question regarding? Oh okay, sure. Yeah, yeah, sorry, I don't even see okay. I see it, I see it, I see it. I will respond. Would you like to come up for tonight's discussion? No pressure, no no pressure. Um, just to reiterate, it's it is um one-on-one. So when you come up here, it's not like multiple people, so just one person, and then I'll give you a couple of minutes, and the next person you say, um, I'm not ready for today, but but definitely I love the spicy topics you have. Okay, perfect. Well, I'm here every Monday at 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. So no worries, no pressure. Whenever you want to come up. Let's revisit the topic when I'm ready. Sure, sure, sure. No worries. Does anyone else like would anyone else like to come up? Okay, perfect, perfect, perfect. Perfect. I'm I'm here for an hour. Sometimes I go over depending on if the topic is popular. I am I'm live on Mondays from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Sometimes I may go over to like 8 30 a little bit, but um I'm here every Monday. Make sure to turn on your notification. So yeah, I'm here. Uh-oh. Where'd the chat go? Okay, here's the chat. Like, where's the chat? Thank you. Thank you, thank you. I'd love to show some love, show some love. If you've been sitting in the audience, show some love. Here, I'm going to accept. All right. I got you. Oh, okay. Okay, so you do want to come on stage. Okay, okay. Let me see. All right. I well. I hope I did this right.

SPEAKER_03 23:21

Hi cat, how are you? Hi. I'm great. How are you? I'm good. So, no, what I meant is that like I'm not ready for video because I think we should do video. Like we should be on video. So I meant like I'm not video ready. Okay. Okay, so you're filming Monday, so we're good to know. So don't have to figure out my schedules. Okay. So then you started at 7 p.m.

SPEAKER_02 23:41

Yeah. Um, and um also my lives are audio only anyway. So no worries. Okay, no worries.

SPEAKER_03 23:49

No, because I also want to clip some of these. Like if you want spicy and unconventional opinions, like I feel like we'll really get along. So uh, and I feel like I I want to be present like visually. So I'm excited to come on next time. But let's just do a little preview of what's to come, if we were to do recon another right. Okay, so let me answer the prompt. No, I think essentially what you're asking is if a man can love two people at the same time. And when you say man, I'm guessing that you mean man as in a human being. So as in like a woman as well, can love two people at the same time. Um, I that's what I want to infer from the question. I think absolutely yes, but I think with open communication, there wouldn't be cheating involved. And honestly, I don't want someone who has a one-sided um way of life. Like, if he feels like he can be the only one who entertains other people, then I don't agree with that. But if he understands that people find attraction at different stages of their lives, and it can happen at any time, I think that's workable. So I wouldn't put the word cheat there. I think it's cheating if you don't communicate that. I think it's cheating if you don't know who you are just yet. But like who truly knows who they are? Like, we find ourselves in different places. So maybe in when you're 17, when you're 18, when you're 20, you could be like, I would never love more than two people, and I will never love somebody else besides you. Like you can make all these granderous promises to the to the person that you love, but you don't know as you're growing and experiencing life what love can be, right? And then let's say that you're married in your 20s and then by your 30s, you you find a different type of attraction. And you want to explore that. So it's like, what do you see to that person that you made all these big, big promises to when you were at your high, you know? So I think if if the other person understands that people elevate at different times, then they can grow within each other. Now, I don't know what the wife would be doing in the meantime, as he's getting to know somebody else. I think it's like what happens at that point. Because maybe she's not ready to get to know somebody else besides her husband, but he's ready to get to know somebody and explore that feeling outside of her. So, what do you do then? Does she wait or does she force herself to find an M type of attraction?

SPEAKER_02 26:33

Yeah, yeah. I think I think that's a great question. And also too, I I think it is important to separate, like you said, open relationships versus cheating, right? Because like if like somebody's an open relationship and they're honest, that's not cheating.

SPEAKER_03 26:53

You know, unless they go behind their at what point do you decide that you want to be open? That's what I'm saying. Because sometimes, like now, I hate to be like personal on open platforms because it's like it's like when you ask a mom if she loves one child more than the other, she's obviously gonna tell you that she likes them equally. But is that actually true?

SPEAKER_02 27:19

Yeah, no, I agree that there are, I feel like there is one person they may love better than the other.

SPEAKER_03 27:27

Who's gonna admit that? Who's gonna admit that? And who how are you gonna even tell your children? And like how are you gonna break it down to them? But it doesn't make the feeling go away. The feeling is real, but the communication is difficult.

SPEAKER_02 27:39

Exactly. Yeah, and like I've I've spoken to clients where their wife knows that they're in an open relationship, but the wife also has a partner and they also have children. So, um, and they communicate that with them. Um so I've seen that, but I've only seen that, and I'm not talking about a certain client if you're listening. I've I've um I know because like sometimes like my clients listen to my podcast, but um, I've only seen that with like same gender as opposed to like opposite gender when it comes to okay.

SPEAKER_03 29:04

So you're basically saying that it's med woman's jealousy or something, or confidence.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

I've seen a way um, yeah, like I've seen like husbands have a partner, like another put partner in addition to their wife, but their wife has a partner who's not a man who's the same gender.

SPEAKER_03 29:24

So I don't know if that like yeah. So I've seen that being there, can you love two people at the same time?

SPEAKER_02 29:30

Do you feel? I think you can. I think someone always has a favorite. Like you said, there there's always a favorite that they make.

SPEAKER_03 29:38

Do you think that's fair to the person who's losing out of the 100% that you're giving to somebody else? Do you think that's fair?

SPEAKER_02 29:47

I think it's whatever makes someone feel comfortable. I I don't think it's fair if you have to stay in a relationship where you're not number one.

SPEAKER_03 30:00

So then what are you saying?

SPEAKER_02 30:03

You you don't think the person should stay, but then if I were number two and somebody admitted that they love somebody more than me, then I would just let them have it.

SPEAKER_03 30:17

Me personally. So you cannot do open relationships.

SPEAKER_02 30:21

I'm in open relationships, but if somebody said, Oh, I like this person better, like like if they said it out loud, I would it would impact me. I would rather just not know, to be honest.

SPEAKER_03 30:33

But you said it's it's about open communication. It is, yeah, yeah. So if the person is being honest, what if it's like a moment? What if like at this particular moment you're just not the favorite? And maybe it could change. Are you willing to wait till you become the favorite?

SPEAKER_02 30:48

I I guess for me, it's like I would just take the truth for what it is. Like, I feel like like for me personally, like there are people, there are people who may be more suitable for certain things in my life than they than the other person. So like, like for example, like a husband who's in an open relationship could find another woman better in bed versus someone who may be a better person to talk business with. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you know, like there's like difference. Right. Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 31:33

That's always like what if what if it's it's an opportunity for you to build that bond with the person? Build a big thing. Instead of leaving, like instead of leaving when you find out that you're not the favorite or you're not number one, why don't you build that like fix that relationship instead of leaving? Because you're not leaving because you no longer love the person, you're just leaving because of insecurity. And I feel like in relationships you have to work through insecurities.

SPEAKER_02 32:04

Yeah, honestly, I think there's no way to fight to be number one though. I think it's just like this person may be best for this, and then the other partner may be suitable for this part of someone's life. You know, I mean that I mean that's just me. Like, that's the answer. Like, you know.

SPEAKER_03 32:24

So I don't think do you think you're a good candidate for open relationships then?

SPEAKER_02 32:28

Me personally. I mean, I am I am in an open relationship.

SPEAKER_03 32:32

So okay, so you're only gonna be in an open relationship if you're number one.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't I wouldn't even ask my partner if I'm number one. I I wouldn't even want to know that. Like, it's just none of my business. Like, honestly, like I don't I don't even want to know who my partner is dating. Like, that's just none of my business. Like, I mean me, like personally, like I just like kind of just live my life to be begin with. Like, I don't even want to know.

SPEAKER_03 33:00

Like, if I'm so okay, do you feel like once your needs are met, then you'd feel number one? As unless your your needs are met, then you would feel number one. Is that what it is? I don't even have a need to feel your information. Yeah. Wait, is it is it affirmations or is it a love languages? I think it's totally not sure. Like if your love languages are being fixed, like they're fixed, you you wouldn't feel like you're your number two in it. As long as you do what you want.

SPEAKER_02 33:26

Yeah, yeah. Like if like I have something out of a relationship that I feel is benefiting me, or like we're like meshing together, I don't even think about the other person. Like, I I don't I don't even want to be like number one or number two. I'm just like there, I guess. You know what I mean? Like it's just yeah, yeah. Are you like going through something like that? Or no? It's just like a scenario.

SPEAKER_03 33:53

I don't know. Like I said, I love spray conversations, like conversations that people don't really talk about on a day, like but these things are happening, right? Um, you know how sometimes when you find out that a man is cheating and you're just curious about what the person looks like, do you have an opinion about like do you have conversations about who they can approach and who they cannot approach in terms of like a partnered man and who they choose?

SPEAKER_02 34:25

I you know, because I speak to married men all the time, like like like through my line of work. Um, and um a lot of times, like when I speak to married men, a lot of the people who they cheat that cheat on their wives with is the opposite of the wife. Like it may be like a black woman or like a younger woman or someone where they can't get that fantasy from their wife. So they want the fantasy from someone else, and that may be a totally different person just because they just want to experience them.

SPEAKER_03 35:01

Do you think women are not optimizing that part of themselves? And so we enable men as cheaters, because essentially the men are just fulfilling human needs, and I think women also have those needs, but because we wear this morality hat, we cannot exercise that same freedom, right? The double standards thing. So I feel like maybe if if we know that we have the power to also go for what we are attracted to, then we wouldn't be so hummed up on a man cheating because we know that we can do the same. And it's not necessarily cheating, like we'll redefine what cheating is, and it's more of like in pursuit of your attraction. Absolutely. I think that's freedoms that men know that they have. I don't think women know that they have that.

SPEAKER_02 35:50

Exactly. Right?

SPEAKER_03 35:51

Because we're always trying to like kidnap people instead of like allowing people to be. So I don't know if marriage is a trap. And like yeah, because it's not working. Like historically, it has never worked.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

I totally agree. I think it's really I think when people are shocked when they see like a celebrity who got cheated on, like um, for example, Meg the Stallion and Clay Thompson. Yeah, like why are we shocked? Like it happens all the time. So that means that like something isn't working. To me, it's like if you if we always see people cheating on each other, then what's the common denominator? Is that maybe people are in relationships that aren't suitable for them and they're just not truthful with it, they're not honest. And like you said, there are women who do want multiple partners.

SPEAKER_03 37:17

Yeah, I th I think that it doesn't matter how much freedom you give someone, they'll always want to do the opposite. And I think with Clay and Tom, Clay, I mean, um sorry, Meg seems like a bi woman. Okay, like she looks like she seemed very fluid in her sexual expression. So I think that's the part that hurts when you still tell somebody that hey, I am into open relationships, I just need honesty, and they still I think that's why we are still shy, and and that's why it's so painful because you can still communicate to this person that you know I'm not the jealous type, I'm not this, I'm not that. I just disrespect me and like be honest about things and they still break that. I think that's the hurtful part of it all, you know?

SPEAKER_02 38:12

Yeah, I think honestly, I think marriage and relationships would be so much better if if if people were just honest, like just just be honest and just do it.

SPEAKER_03 38:24

I don't think somebody disagree with you. I did I disagree with you. I don't think it would make it easier. You don't think so? No. Because people are always looking for leverage. What it can leverage, so if it's like I know that this is what you want, but I'm not gonna give it to you because I want to hurt you, because there's other ways that I can I can hurt you, I can break that promise. And I think it's our human nature to to do that to people.

SPEAKER_02 38:54

I think certain people who do that have mental. I'm I look, I'm not honest. I mean, I'm I'm just being honest. I think that I think there may be something internal that they haven't addressed, some like trauma wound to like want to hurt somebody to do some because I do no it's knowing that you can. It is, yeah, it's kind of like manipulate it's kind of like a game. I know like some people do it as a game or they like okay, so like for um example, like cheating fantasy, home wrecking fantasy is huge in the adult world. And like I may have a guy who will come to me for a fantasy and he gets off on cheating. Like, like you know, he gets off on the fantasy of going behind his wife's back because that just turns him on.

SPEAKER_03 39:42

So I know like he feels like a superhero, he feels like invincible, like he feels like wait, I just did this and I came home and she can't even smell it on me. Right. She can't even, she can't even she doesn't even know. And I get away with it. And she he just feels like powerful, like I can do, like I can live the whole life. Like they get off. And again, it's not to vilify men, because I think women have the ability to do the same. But it's like as P as people, you're just like you're trying to figure out how long you can go, you can go on this tangent for. Like it's been one day. Like the first day, he's probably like, Oh my gosh, gonna find out. Oh my god, like I'm so messy, you know. I left the phone upside up or whatever it is, right? And then he gets away with it, right? And then tomorrow comes, and then tomorrow he did it again, and it's like nobody found out that he does it again, right? And they've done it again.

SPEAKER_02 40:34

He's like, I'm gonna like it is it is a thrill. Like, I'll I'll I'll even have guys like give me like their personal information and like have me like post something on Twitter, but then they'll like pay me to take it down. But they want people to see it, like they want people to know that they're talking to me and going behind their wives' back and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_03 40:54

Like, what is wrong with people? But like it's fun, but it's like it's crazy, and it's like it's what's wrong with people being as a whole, it's like what is this the real thing, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:06

And like I think those are examples of of like unhealthy people, like because like I do know open relationships where it operates. They've they've like done therapy, they've like gone through their traumas, and then there are some people who just love to play games, you know what I mean. I do want to read the comments. I see hi Maya. Um, I see um she says um we have normalized monogamy, that's the issue, and then why is there a number one? I'm not sure there is. And hi, the PHO. Hi, welcome back. So, yeah, I yeah, like I think I think it's a mixed bag of different kinds of people who cheat along for certain reasons.

SPEAKER_03 41:50

Yeah, no, I I think okay, so then yeah, I mean I vote for like open relationships. I think people can properly do relationships of people who are not I call that I call it like kidnapping, where like they just have a different definition of love and the way they see the world. And they understand that you're not here to like heat people. And and like I don't know how to think like restrain people. Like they understand that people are just here to pass through and experience them. And if they want to go, they can go, and if they want to stay, they can stay. And they're just honest with their wants and needs, and it's and it's fine. I feel like they practice detachment really, really well. So if you're somebody who is trying to figure out like you don't you don't want to be in a relationship whereby your partner doesn't feel comfortable speaking with you about certain unconventional things, I think for you to become someone who is open to open relationships or knowing that you can find attraction in different ways, you have to learn detachment so that the person is ready to leave because you no longer serve them, there wouldn't be so much pain and betrayal and hurt. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 43:14

And honestly, no, I totally agree. Like, and like even with marriage, and I don't mean to sound like a like a debut honor, but like people should get married knowing that their partner could possibly step out. If you're in a monogamous relationship, like that should you should prepare yourself mentally for that to possibly happen. And so and I and I know some people don't like to hear that, but it's it's the truth.

SPEAKER_03 43:40

I I think it's it's very premature to force people to say these vows. It was like nobody knows tomorrow. And you're intentionally making promises that you yourself don't even like. Think about how many promises you've broken to yourself. I was gonna wake up to go to the gym and I didn't go. I'm gonna change my diet and I didn't go. Like I make all these grand promises that I I can't even keep. So imagine telling somebody that you're gonna be with them to for better or for worse, for rich or poor, you know, and it would cheat on you, I never do this. And like you don't know that. You don't know that you're never doing that. But then why are we forcing people to repeat these vows in these marriages? Because people are sending them out for no, then you're setting them up for failure.

SPEAKER_02 44:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:26

You don't do that to people. That is for causing so much hurt, right? Because if she's if she's going back to if she's trying to revisit why she's hurt, she's hurt because you broke these promises. But women also have to understand that promises are made at the height of certain dopamine. So you can take it as the person's intentions, but to be surprised that things changed is crazy to me. Exactly. Why do people still make these bowels is crazy to me.

SPEAKER_02 45:00

No, exactly. Like, I even like like like for today, I had a client tell me that he loved me. He doesn't love me, but of course we had a session for like three minutes or so. Like it's just like words are like you know, it's not true.

SPEAKER_03 45:16

But but you get what he's saying. I think he's just trying to compliment the conversation that you had. And I and I think he's just saying that I I I love that you offered that to a man as to him. Like you're just trying to communicate that you meant a lot to him in these three minutes. Exactly. You know what I mean? So it's but I I I get it, you know, words mean something. So if you I don't know, I just feel like the whole system of marriage is just set up for people to fail constantly.

SPEAKER_02 45:43

They're definitely like I agree, like they're I feel like we're doing the same thing and getting the same results. Like it's just gonna be the same process. But I really appreciate you for coming on. Uh of course. I had a great time. Thank you. Yeah, and you're more than welcome to come back on um to join. So thank you. When I'm ready to be on the live, we're definitely gonna enjoy it. Okay, perfect. Thank you. Thank you so much. Um, I wanted to say um thank you so much to the PA show for giving me a what was it? I don't know, something popped up. Oh, a rose, five roses. Thank you so much. Um, I'm going to add the next person. And sorry, Mia, I don't know why I keep saying your name wrong. I think it's just because it's like M I A A. And like in my head, I'm like, it's my Mia or Myan, but it's Mia. Um, thank you. Thank you so much for the love. Um, I'm going to bring the next person up. Please. Um wait. Oops. Sorry. I didn't mean to invite you. I mean, you can come up if you want. Um, anyone else who'd like to come on?

SPEAKER_00 46:49

Good evening, Pepper.

SPEAKER_02 46:51

Hi, thank you so much for joining again.

SPEAKER_00 46:54

Always a pleasure.

SPEAKER_02 46:56

So, what are your thoughts on today's prompt?

SPEAKER_00 47:00

So, disclaimer, I've never been married, and I so I can't truly relate to the experience. But however, I do like to answer the question directly, I don't think a man can truly love someone, anybody for that matter, whether that be his wife, his girlfriend, long-term partner or whatever, I don't think that they can properly love someone and cheat on them because why are you cheating on them in the first place? You know, what is it about this person that was that you say, oh, I love this person, she can stick around, she can be in my house and have my kids and make my house into a home. But the second that she brings no value, I'm gonna step out on that. Like, I've always found cheating to be dishonorable. Like, and and it doesn't matter who it is, whether it's a man cheating on a woman, woman cheating on a man, you know what I'm saying? It's it's it's one of those things where it's like, it's not, it's, it's, it's unacceptable because if you love somebody, I I know you were talking about marriage with the other young with the young lady that was previously just on, you know, especially in a situation like that where we live in an age where people can get things so quick and easy, and people, and just speaking as a man, you know, a lot of men tend to hide their cheating ways, and then they then the wives shot out about it, and I was like, oh my god, why did I sign up for this? You know, and I do agree, I don't I don't I disagree with that lady statement. Well, I agree to a fall. You know, I do believe that marriage, while it is imperfect, you know, there is um, how can I put it? There's the the intentions are it's marriage is well-intentioned, you know, because I do believe in what marriage is supposed to be. I do believe in honoring, you know, your husband and your spouse, your wife. I do believe in creating that nucleus, uh that nuclear family. You know, I I I appreciate what marriage is supposed to be. But um she said that you know, people, you know, marriage is designed to fail. I think that it's set up for men specifically to fail. Because what happens in a divorce? Women get everything, and a man has to work, work from scratch again. Man loses everything. Marriage benefits women way more because she could leave and get everything. Child support, alimony, half of what's his, you know? And that's that's a deeper conversation. But cheating is dishonorable. I don't like it. I've never been a cheater, I will never be a cheater. I've been cheated on though, but again, that's another conversation. But you can't love somebody and then cheat on her. If you want to be polyamorous, just say that.

SPEAKER_02 50:21

Yeah, I do think um in terms of marriage, there are people who are married, like there are people in monogamous relationships where they know, damn, well, they're not going to, you know, be committed to their partner. Um, and then there are people who are um who are more fit for monogamy, who are in polygamous relationships to please their partner. So I think a lot of people are dishonest. I I can agree with that part, like how people there are people who just they're married and they know that that's not what they want, or like they're like doing it because of their friends or family. They want people to think of them in a certain way. I do disagree with the women get more. I do agree that yes, women do get more, but women have children and and you have to raise your children and send them to school and feed them food and stuff like that. So I think that is necessary to give children the resources to grow up.

SPEAKER_00 51:26

You know, there's nothing wrong with that. And to be secure. Women do have the children, and of course, a child support's gonna go to the many, but it's still gonna come out of a man's pocket. Everything like everything should it should be.

SPEAKER_02 51:42

That's the father of their uh um children.

SPEAKER_00 51:45

That's not that I agree. That that's neither that's neither here nor there, and I really I'd rather not delve into that discussion because you know I've seen too many um situations where there will be a marriage and then there will be kids involved, and then they get divorced, and now he's paying the mom. And I'm just it's it's it's terrible to me because that's what is breaking the nuclear family up, especially in a certain community. I think you can figure out where I'm going with this because I don't want to get banned on TikTok for saying it. But, you know, just it just as a man who has seen divorce and has seen, you know, multiple cases where there's children involved and the children are young, and then the dad leaves and so forth and so on, you know, child support is a complicated issue, you know. And I certainly don't want to call it. Sorry about that. I certainly don't want to get caught up in that. You know, that's why I'm very cautious as to who I'm even dating, even if they are already single mothers, you know, because it's like, okay, what if I get married to that single mother, have a child, and then somewhere down the line we get divorced, and she's asking me for money, and I gotta pay for all of her other kids. Yeah, and especially in the state of Georgia, unmarried, if I'm an unmarried father, I have no rights, which means I'm screwed. I think we as men need to become more disciplined. You know, and really everybody, but I'm talking about just speaking as a man. We really have to be more disciplined as to who we choose to be with and who we choose to do what we do with. It has to be well-intentioned because the second you get caught up, the second the legal system gets involved, you're screwed.

SPEAKER_02 53:31

Yeah, I do think people should take marriage and children more seriously. Um, both men and women should definitely be more selective because that's an offspring. Um, yeah. Um, and also too, like with the marriage thing, like with child support, you should make a you should write up a prenup. You should be prepared. If you're going to get married and you don't want someone to take all your money, that should be something you take to your lawyer. I mean, I don't know. I I just think, you know, and for for both sides, I think you should, it shouldn't even get to the point where somebody takes something away from you and you didn't think that through prior to marriage. But I think um, like the previous caller said, people get married and they don't think of the worst that can happen. So they don't prepare. So, like, for example, if I were to get married, I would want to protect my at my um assets, and I don't want that to be tampered with. So I would take the precautions prior to like you can love someone and still take the precautions to protect yourself when I think so.

SPEAKER_00 54:34

You wouldn't be offended. So let's just say for sake of argument. Let's say you and I were getting married. Would you be offended if I get presented you with a prenub?

SPEAKER_02 54:43

No, because you work hard for it and I work hard for my stuff.

SPEAKER_00 54:48

Yeah, because I've never heard of a woman presenting a man with a prenub. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_02 54:52

Because I have my own stuff.

SPEAKER_00 54:54

That's not to say that it doesn't happen. I just never say I've never known a woman that had married a man and then she presented him with a prenub.

SPEAKER_02 55:03

I would want to protect myself from a man. I wouldn't want him to take anything from me that I build on my own. And I don't fault any man who does the same.

SPEAKER_00 55:13

Yeah, because personally, I certainly would, honestly, because I'm not gonna pour into you and into this relationship and into this legacy that I would want to build along with you, only for you, only for you to then say, you know, oh, there were irreconcilable differences, you know, and then use a silent treatment on me because the woman is the second a woman gets quiet with you, it's over. I should know because I had a woman avoid me for 30 days completely and then cut me off.

SPEAKER_02 55:44

Is this the one that cheated?

SPEAKER_00 55:47

I believe she cheated, but that's neither here nor there. Women, they're never honest with me when it comes to stuff like this. Because and and here's the thing, I've always asked, hey, just be up front with me, just keep it real. You know, don't have me thinking one thing knowing that you're not on one accord. Because if you if you're saying one thing knowing that you feel another thing, then you're lying to me. And I don't like that. I I despise that, I hate that with an absolute passion.

SPEAKER_02 56:14

For the one who cheated, does she ever tell you why, or was it kind of just like you all subnorated her?

SPEAKER_00 56:21

No, no. And I don't care. She never she and she never will. Most women don't. Women are never gonna tell a man that they cheated on them. We'll they'll just have us figure it out. That's that that's just how it is. At least from my point of view.

SPEAKER_02 56:40

Yeah, I was gonna say, I think it's like case proof, probably case by case, case by case. Um, I'm sorry that happened to you. Um is there anything after being cheated on, is there anything that you do to is there anything that you look for or take pre precautions with when moving forward?

SPEAKER_00 56:59

Or um like or needs I need to see that the communication is there. Like it has to be. Like for and for me, I'm a giver, just as a natural person. Like, I'm always gonna be like, hey, I do, I'm always gonna give and give and give. That's just who I am. Yeah, I'm I'm a giving person. But I would want at some point for the person that I'm giving my energy to to be willing, key word willing to go just as hard in her own ways, you know. For me, you know what I'm saying? I would never tell a woman to quote unquote submit to me and do this and do this and this. My thing is I want you to love me, but do it in your own ways and add to the experience. I I treat it just like a day. It's like, for example, I could take you out for a picnic and have everything, but you might bring a bottle of champagne just to add to the experience. That's showing me love. You know what I'm saying? If I'm texting you and if I'm having a bad day, you're doing something and cheering me up, whether it be you know, sending me a small little gift or just giving me words of affirmation, which is my love language by the way. That's how you show me appreciation. And you don't have to do it because I'm I sound like a broker record of saying this. I'm really not hard to please. I'm really not. Women think that it's complicated with me because I expect, you know, realness. And maybe I shouldn't use the word upfront because it's triggering to them. Because they think that if I'm asking them to be upfront, then I'm then they'll think that I'm trying to do something to them if I if they reject me, which has never been the case. You know, I've never put my hands on one, I've never abused one, I've been I would never do anything of that ilk. I'm not like that crowd. But if I say be upfront with me, they'll think, oh my God, he's creepy. He comes on too strong. You know, and I'm I'll admit, you know, I am a little forward. I'm not gonna lie. I try not to be, but the thing is, if I'm going to ask you out on a date, I'm gonna ask you out. If I'm gonna ask you, I mean, what what's the point in being I don't like to finesse and do all that other extra stuff because then it'll say, Oh, you doing too much. It's it's really, like you said, a case-by-case type of thing.

SPEAKER_02 59:17

Have you been in a situation where you were dating and you thought about stepping out or thought about exploring other options, or has it mainly just been no, no, I'm I'm being honest.

SPEAKER_00 59:35

I am being honest. No, no, I'm being honest. Okay. And in fact, I'm not I'm not even being honest. I'm telling you the truth. There's a difference. But we'll talk about that another time. But no, I've never I've never thought about it. Because even the thought about stepping out to explore damages the relationship to me. Because it's even even if those thoughts come into my head, you know, I'm thinking like, okay, if I did this, what would she think? Even if she never found out, number one. Because that's in that's the integrity in me. Doing the doing the right thing when nobody's looking. You know, I've never had been in a situation where it's like, oh my God, you know, she's here, but let me see what she's up to. You know what I'm saying? Let me call her, let me do this, let me do that. I I don't double in that, I don't even date multiple people at the same time. That's just not how I that's just not how I operate.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:31

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:32

I'm not I know that I am allowed to, I know that, I know that, but I don't like dating multiple people at the same time. That's just it's never been my thing. And I know you probably think I'm a simp for that, but it's just the truth.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:47

No, I don't I don't call people names. Like I mean, people have their own like thoughts, you know, their own ways of dating. Yeah, I mean, I know like humans in general, I know they may see someone they're dating, oh like that person's attractive, or they may fantasize about other people. I I think it is natural, like human nature to kind of think it. Even if you don't actively do it, like I think it is human nature to kind of browse and see people and say, oh, that person's attractive. You know, like yeah, I know I've I've I've done it. If like when I date other people, I I may say, Oh, that person's attractive. I mean, I may not like go sleep with them like my partner is like over here, but like I yeah, like I'm like, oh, yeah, that's my type. Like, that's cute. He's cute or she's cute or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:39

Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, like, because I I truly believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And I believe as a man, like I look at women and I'm like, oh, women are just beautiful people. You know what I'm saying? And women are beautiful to me. Like, even even if I were to be in a relationship, you know, I'll be open with, you know, like if we're going down the street, you know, saying if we're looking at the same woman, I'll be like, oh yes, she looks really nice. You know, if we make eye kind of, I I love giving compliments. I'll be like, oh, you look nice today. I like your hair. I love your hair, love your natural beauty, you're your natural short haircut. You know, say that's that's beautiful to me. And I will gladly say it out loud with my full chest.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:19

Yeah. Yeah, you know, I think like, you know, if people were just honest like with each other, um, and then I know the caller previously disagreed, but I think if people were just honest about what kind of relationships people are into, and just like just be honest, like it will be a better world. Like it was like people like just be honest. Like if you want to date out, then date someone who who who does want to date out or who's comfortable with you dating out.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:47

Um and it's and for me, uh I I want to say this one thing before I come off. When I say I date one person at a time, that doesn't mean that the other person, like, for example, uh, just I'm just using you and I for the sake of argument. If I'm dating you, I'm not gonna tell you, oh, just date me and date me alone. Like, you're free to do as you choose. You know what I'm saying? I don't expect a woman to look at me unless things, you know, progress. I don't expect her to look at me and be like, okay, you know, it's just him. Yeah, you're free to do as you choose. But if I'm dating you, that means I see something in you and I want to get to know you. But if you choose not to date me any further, like if we go on a first date and you don't like me no more and you're not interested in me anymore, I'd be like, all right, cool, on to the next. You know, it is what it is.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:34

Would you date someone who's who likes you and then dates other people while dating you in the talking phase, or would you prefer somebody just talk to you during the couple first couple of months?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:49

Just keep it real. My only thing is just keep it real. You know, you because people people are gonna be out here. Temptation is real, people are gonna be out here. You might see somebody that might like something in you that you might like, but don't my thing is if you see something that you like, you know, and and and if you're liking me, you know, my only thing is um yeah, you don't maybe have to give me all the details, but if we're in a relationship, don't cheat on them. You know, because people are gonna step up to people. It happens all the time. You know, saying, and I know people in the poly space, you know what I'm saying? I would I wouldn't introduce my relationship to those people because I'm not trying to shadow that, I'm not trying to shadow that fence, but a lot of but I will say this a lot of those people in poly spaces, they keep it real.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:37

Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah, that's like the most honest, most honest than monogamous relationships. It's like they're just up front about it.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:48

Yeah, I I I just prefer to tell the truth, you know. If she likes me, you know, I will want her to show me and really appreciate me as a person. And even if she doesn't want to pursue a relationship, she should appreciate me enough to say, hey, you know, I like who you are. I appreciate you as a person. I don't mind having you as part of my life, but I'm seeing this other person I really think. Will it hurt me? Sure. Rejection is real, nobody likes rejection. Let's keep it a stat. But at the same time, I'll look, I can look at her and be like, look, at least she's telling me the truth.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:24

Because really, there's there's a difference between being honest and telling the truth. You know what I'm saying? So let's just say, let's just use a scenario again. Let's say I'm dating somebody and she likes me, and we've been dating for like six months or so. You know, if after six months I find out, you know, then we got a problem.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:45

Oh, that she's seeing other is is is this prior to you saying, Oh, you're my girlfriend, or you're you all are just dating?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:53

I yeah, we're we're we're just how can I put this? If after s if after a month two of dating, I would have asked you to be my girlfriend at that point. If the energy is real. If if we're just dating, then you're free, you're free to do as you choose. But don't have me thinking that you're just dating me and I'm just dating you, and then six months down a row, oh, I've been seeing somebody else. It's like, why couldn't you tell me that months ago? That way I would have been a little bit more intentional with how I'm directing my energy because my energy is sacred. A lot of people don't realize that. My energy is sacred. You know what I'm saying? Energy and the way you move things, you can't give, you can't give, or at least you should, give your energy to people that you know are gonna dream you're you shouldn't give your energy knowing that this person's gonna use it. But I come from a place where I try to give good energy and I've done things I know that I am not. I will look at it and be like, I will look back and be like, man, I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have done that. But at the same token, it's like no women are gonna respond to me in the way that I'm looking for because they think that them being up front with me is them coming on too strong. And that's never been the case. You know, especially especially with dating people in the church. Where I could just ask you for your number and then all of a sudden I get accused of lust.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:17

Yeah, that's another. Yeah, that's that's the yeah, even I don't mess with religious people. But um, no, yeah, I um for me, I don't have a problem with people dating other people. Now, if it's physical and it's my health, yes, I like to know. But if somebody like I'm dating and if they're dating and like going out on dates, I don't I I just don't want to hear about because yeah, like I will feel some type of way. Like I don't I don't I don't want to hear any details. For me personally, it's just like as long as when it becomes physical, I would like to know for my personal health. But if somebody's dating somebody else and like they're going out, I don't per for me personally, I don't feel like I need to know. Like, so as long as it's not something that's posing a threat to my health.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:03

And I agree with you, maybe I don't need to know. Like, like I said, don't give me all like this. You ain't gonna tell me all of your business. But the thing is, if you like somebody, you like somebody, you know. If this is like more than one person, it's it's it's kind of it's kind of funny, it's kind of funny because you know, if I if you have to really make an impression on me for me to even ask you to be my girlfriend, yeah. And I'm not saying that, you know, as you know, a cop-out. I'm saying that to say that's how intentional I am with dating. If I ask you to be my girlfriend, then that means you really did something to me that made my heart say I really should go after this person. Or I shouldn't say, maybe I should pursue this. And I've only I've only been in a few relationships my entire life. You know, and and I'm okay with that. I'm okay with

SPEAKER_02 1:09:04

hopefully my next relationship turns into my marriage but I'm okay with having with having a limited amount of relationships because that just that just tells me hey I'm very intentional you know I'm not picky but I am very intentional you know you don't have to but my thing is again you do not have to like me you don't have to like me you ain't gotta smother me you ain't gotta spoil me you ain't gotta do anything that you don't want to do but when you're in my presence when I give you if I'm giving you my energy if you want my energy do not lie to me just be just keep it real that way we're not wasting both of our times yeah no drop out of the mic there no yeah I I definitely agree people should just like be honest like like if you're looking for something like just be honest like and um yeah like and like that's what I was saying earlier like just be honest with people just and I also think it's a compatibility thing like if you want someone who wants to be all about you that's who you should date. Like I think if somebody wants to be in an open relationship or date other people they should have that right to just date people who are compatible with you agreed yeah so my throne is dying so I'm gonna hop on no worries thank you for joining um thank you all so much for um those who participated in this live I have some closing words well first um I will be expanding on this topic on my podcast Spicy Spectrum on all audio platforms feel free to check out my podcast right here spicyspectrumpcast.com we will be expanding um this upcoming Wednesday and um yes like I said earlier I think that you should be honest with your partner and date people who are compatible with you like if you want an open relationship date someone else who wants an open relationship don't date someone who wants monogamy and you're lying about it like just be honest like I totally agree with the last caller just be honest like I know for me too like how I date in terms of like if I'm dating multiple people or if I want to in the future like I let the person know because I want them to consent to my relationship um dynamic. And you know so honesty is your best policy and then you don't have to have to run around trying to hide it like trying to have a secret life just be honest and you can live a fulfilling life I know for me like too I've had people um like I said with my line of work where I have clients who are in open relationships and they don't have to sneak around like it's that simple. Like it makes your life so much more easy. But I know for the majority I know like a lot of people just would prefer lying I think we have to come to a place um in our lives where if you want to be truly free and be um show up as your authentic self to just be honest with people and just be honest with yourself of what you like. And so those are my closing words. So thank you all so much for listening. We did go over like 10 minutes but that's okay. If you just got here and you missed it I will be posting this live on Patreon and Subsec. Follow my account um check out spicyspectrumpcast dot com. The links for Patreon and Subsec are there and you can be able to watch the whole live if you want to listen to the whole live you can do that as well I'll be dropping the full episode on Patreon Subsec and spicyspectrum podcast dot com this upcoming Friday. So you'll be able to listen to the full live if you just came in here. So thank you all so much for listening this was a constructive conversation I love hearing everyone's perspective men, women, single, non-single everyone so thank you so much. I will be back here next Monday 7 p.m Eastern Standard Time from 7 p.m to 8 p.m Eastern Standard Time feel free to join the conversation and thank you so much. Follow me I will be continuing this conversation this week and again the podcast episode drops on Wednesday um August 12th at midnight so thank you again thank you for the participants thank you for being respectful and I'll see you again next time thank you bye thank you for joining and I'm trying to end the live