S.7 #7 | Holy Woman - why this book will change your life

Once in a while you come across a book that not only inspires you but actually changes the way you perceive reality, motivating you to become a better person. This book is it! I cannot recommend it enough to all people looking to grow spiritually. You will cry and you will laugh as you read this biography titled "Holy Woman", and you will never remain the same because the lessons you will learn from this book will undoubtedly aid in your spiritual development. 

Join me as I share my three main takeaways from "Holy Woman" - from humility and peace in the home to choosing joy and giving.

Mentions: 

Holy Woman by Sara Yoheved Rigler

Chaya Sara Kramer and Rabbi Yakov Moshe Kramer

Tzaddik - righteous person

Vatranus - giving in for the sake of harmony and peace

Igeres Haramban: This letter was sent by the Ramban from his city to his son in Catalonia, regarding the act humility.

Modern Jewish Girl Podcast

Baal Shem Tov - Jewish mystic and healer regarded as the founder of Hasidic Judaism. 

The Three Oaths (Shalosh Shavuot) are a Talmudic concept (Ketubot 111a) based on Song of Songs, interpreting three divine vows: (1) Jews should not return to Israel "as a wall" (en masse or by force), (2) Jews should not rebel against the nations, and (3) nations should not excessively oppress Jews. 

Transcript

I recently read a tremendous book, which literally changed my life. I heard about it on a podcast called Modern Jewish Girl in which the host interviewed the author of this biography titled “Holy Woman”. I was so intrigued by what I heard in the interview, namely the astonishing, miraculous life that Rebbitzen Chaya Sara Kramer led, that I had to read the book and find out all about her. It’s not often that you hear of a Jewish woman being referred to, or compared to, a tzaddik - a highly righteous, holy and selfless person who is close to God and has prophetic abilities. 

I am not one to read many biographies, it’s not a favorite genre of mine, so I didn’t expect to be blown away by the book, but boy I was! After reading this book, it’s simply not possible to remain the same person. It completely changes how you look at life.

The book starts out with a recount of Chaya Sara’s difficult childhood and her life during the Holocaust. I will not spoil the book for you, so I won’t mention any details. In short, she was the sole survivor in her family and what she endured in the concentration camp was beyond horrific, and I could see how most people in her position would either take their own life or at least become clinically depressed. But that was not the case with this incredible woman. Born in the Carpathian mountains region, she eventually began her life anew in Israel. She married Rabbi Yakov Moshe Kramer, who is believed to have been one of the 36 tzaddik to uphold the world. 

Let me explain what that means. The 36 Tzadiks, or Lamed-Vavniks (from Hebrew for number 36), are a foundational concept in Jewish mysticism holding that 36 righteous individuals exist in every generation who secretly uphold the world. Unknown even to themselves, they are "Hidden Righteous" who protect humanity through their anonymous acts of kindness and virtue. 

Key aspects of the 36 Tzadiks (Lamed-Vav Tzaddikim):

• Purpose: According to the Talmud and Hasidic lore, if the number of these individuals fell below 36, the world would cease to exist.
• Anonymity: They are hidden from society and often unaware of their own special status. If one is exposed, they often deny it or leave.
• Traits: They are deeply humble and often hold common, humble professions.
• Significance: The number 36 is twice 18, which represents "life" (Chai) in Hebrew gematria (18 × 2).
• Action: Their virtue and care for others keep the world from being consumed by darkness. 

To give you an idea of this couple’s holiness, kindness and generosity, I will mention a couple main aspects about their lives that will serve as inspiration. After surviving the Auschwitz concentration camp, Chaya Sara was unable to have children. Her destiny lay in raising other children who were not wanted by their parents due to severe health issues. People anonymously dropped off babies on her doorstep knowing that this saint of a woman would take care of them. Thus, she raised numerous brain-damaged kids, most of whom died at young ages. And all this despite her and her husband’s very scarce resources. To say that they were poor is an understatement. If you want to really understand how poor they were, please read the book, because I cannot even begin to describe their financial struggles. And this is not because they were lazy or did not have jobs, it is because they gave away everything they had to take care of others while surviving on the little bit left for themselves. They always gave the best to those in need or their guests, putting everyone else first. 

The moment they found out that a Jew was in need, they would give everything they had to help him or her out. While most of the time, they helped others financially, there were many other mitzvahs they became known for. For example, when a young Jewish man was wanting to get married and didn’t have the funds to purchase for his fiance a piece of jewelry (a Hasidic tradition for engagement), Rabbi Kramer gave him Chaya Sara’s sole piece of gold jewelry that she had ever owned  - a gold bracelet given to her by Rabbi Kramer himself. He did this without even asking Chaya Sara for permission, to which her response was - well, not what I expected! Not only was she not upset that he gave away her only precious gift from her husband, but she was elated to have been able to help out another Jew. Her kindness was, of course, rooted in her deep spirituality. I quote from the book: “Chaya Sara experienced the essential truth of spiritual reality: oneness. On the physical level, we are separate individuals; one body ends where another body begins. On the spiritual level, however, all Jews share one collective soul. On the physical level, the more I give away, the less I have. On the spiritual level, giving to another Jew is like transferring an object from my right hand to my left. There is no loss, only a different hand holding the object”.

Another way the writer of this biography explains Chaya Sara’s altruism is by comparing our life choices to boarding a train. I quote, “Most of us, as we stand on the train platform of choice , choose to board the train that looks sleekest and most comfortable, without even bothering to check on its destination. Chaya Sara chose to board a dilapidated train that promised a bumpy, sooty ride; its destination was spiritual greatness. …The polarity between giving and taking is the essential choice that confronts all of us, many times a day. Hashem’s fundamental attribute is that He is a Giver. We emulate Hashem whenever we choose to give without thinking, “What’s in it for me?”

Isn’t that tremendous? The society that I grew up, and live in, has taught me to guard my possessions, to ensure that my needs and caprices are met before giving to others. With this mindset, I could never become a tzaddik or get as close to G-d as a righteous person. But, truthfully, the idea is not to become a tzaddik - people are actually born tzaddiks - some may never even know it - but rather the idea is to learn from them and strive to be more like them. Perhaps I don’t give everything I have worked for away, but at least I start giving, and if I was already giving, perhaps I give a little more. And it doesn’t have to be all about money - it can be time, an act of kindness, a smile to a stranger! I’ve talked about giving in previous episodes, but I think until I read this book, it didn’t occur to me how much more I could be giving. Until I read this book, I didn’t recognize how much I already have and how much of that I can share with those in need!

There is another reason Chaya Sara and her husband were struggling financially that I want to mention today. It was their refusal to accept financial assistance from Israel’s government. Reading about it is how I finally understood why some Jews are Zionists and others are not. I used to think that Jews, by nature are Zionists, because, why wouldn’t any Jew want Israel, their holy homeland to flourish? Well, it turns out that many religious Jews were and are against the settlement of Israel before the construction of the 3rd Temple during the Messianic era. In other words, first, Moshiach has to arrive, then we can build the temple and then recognize the State of Israel. This view is based on the Three Oaths, the first of which states:

• 1. Not to "ascend the wall": Jewish people are prohibited from returning to the Land of Israel en masse through force or an organized political movement.

To add to that, the holy land, in their understanding, is a place for worship, for spirituality, for all things holy, not for the secular and the mundane! Thus, seeing what has become of Israel, almost half of the Jews there reporting themselves as secular, they do not agree with how the holy land is being used. Take for instance the Hebrew language. This language is holy; it was never meant to be used in everyday speech to speak of the mundane like what to cook for dinner or what type of toilet paper to buy...you get the point. This is why for generations, Jews spoke Yiddish, because Hebrew was reserved for services, for prayer. But Israel has made Hebrew a common tongue. Similarly with other aspects of Judaism, Israel has allowed non-Kosher food and restaurants to be available to the public, for women to serve in the army, for traditions to be forgotten…the list is long. So, even though Chaya Sara sought refuge in Israel, coming to the Holy Land with literally no money and no possessions, she never agreed with the politics of her homeland, and therefore, refused to gain from the government in any shape or form. 

While possessing close to nothing throughout her life, her and her husband’s righteousness and selflessness was otherworldly. Rabbi Kramer’s mission in life became opening Jewish schools for children. He raised money and paid for countless boys and girls’ private education, many of whom went on to become rabbis or very religious individuals. 

Due to Chaya Sara and her husband’s closeness to G-d, they had the ability to bless others. Towards the end of their lives, people would travel from across the world to ask the couple for a blessing to have children, to cure a disease or for a business to flourish. While people began to recognize this couple as tzaddikim, Chaya Sara and her husband always denied it. Even though they were clearly connected to G-d in ways regular folks could not even ponder, even though Rabbi Kramer was a rabbi, they posed themselves as nobodies. Rabbi Kramer didn’t even want to admit he was a rabbi when people sought him out for guidance.  This is another important feature of a tzadik - tremendous humility, which became one of the main lessons I took away from this book.

It is in this biography that I learned of Iggeret Haramban - a miraculous letter turned prayer written by the Jewish medieval scholar Rabbi Moshe ben Nachman to his elder son. This letter, instructed to be read at least once a week, is a blueprint for a modest and humble life, teaching its readers to avoid anger, practice humility, and never stop striving spiritually. One paragraph especially stood out to me: 

And now, my son, understand and observe that whoever feels that he is greater than others is rebelling against the Kingship of Hashem, because he is adorning himself with His garments, as it is written (Tehillim 93:1), "Hashem reigns, He wears clothes of pride." Why should one feel proud? Is it because of wealth? Hashem makes one poor or rich (I Shmuel 2:7). Is it because of honor? It belongs to Hashem, as we read (I Divrei Hayamim 29:12), "Wealth and honor come from You." So how could one adorn himself with Hashem's honor? And one who is proud of his wisdom surely knows that Hashem "takes away the speech of assured men and reasoning from the sages" (Iyov 12:20)!? So we see that everyone is the same before Hashem, since with His anger He lowers the proud and when He wishes He raises the low. So lower yourself and Hashem will lift you up!

If you’ve listened to my very first podcast episodes, you will know that the ego is one of the main deterrents of the G-dly, it’s what prevents us from having a relationship with Hashem - in a nutshell that is the story of my life. The formula is simple: be humble, and G-d will lift you up, be proud, and G-d will lower you through disease, heartbrake, poverty, etc. To be humble simply means to not put yourself above others, and to attribute all your successes to G-d. It has been taking me some time to reprogram my mind and minimize my ego, but I have noticed great progress. Yes, from time to time I forget and begin to boast (to myself of course) of how good a job I’ve done or what a great person I am, but typically I quickly come to the realization that I am not being humble at heart and instead I thank G-d for giving the opportunity to do what I do and be me - to have a head on my shoulders, to have a healthy body to do the mitzvahs that made me proud in the first place! And so on.

There are so many lessons I learned from this book that I could talk for hours. If you’re ever in need of a quick inspiration, do check out my Instagram or TikTok where I post quotes from this very book. I usually make them into a little pretty slide show, and they are sure to change your perspective on many matters.  I will mention two more teachings that stood out to me, though, the first being peace in the home, or shalom bayit in Hebrew - the Jewish value of maintaining harmony, respect, and tranquility within the household and family. The key to such harmony is something called vatranus - the quality of submitting for the sake of peace. The Baal Shem Tov, founder of Hasidism, emphasized (domestic harmony) as a foundational element of divine service and joy. He taught that a loving home, free of conflict, is essential for spiritual growth and connecting with God. His teachings prioritized nurturing kindness, respect, and unity within the family unit.

Reading about Chaya Sara’s and her husband’s difficulties in life raising so many disabled children with basically no money undoubtedly created much stress on their relationship, yet they were known to always maintain peace in the home. They never raised their voice at their children who didn’t or couldn’t listen to instructions, who made a mess and would have frustrated any human being. Moreover, their love for each other was exemplary. They showed each other sky-high respect, never contradicting each other in the presence of others. They shared house responsibilities and supported each other as if they were literally one single unity. In Judaism, a husband and wife "becoming one" (based on Genesis) signifies a deep spiritual, emotional, and physical union, creating a single, complete entity rather than just a partnership. Rabbi Kramer respected his wife like his own body, while Chaya Sara held that when a woman treats her husband as a king, he will treat her as a queen. And so it was in their marriage. When Rabbi Kramer passed away, Chaya Sara was no longer whole, it was evident due to her sadness and deteriorating health. Their relationship reminds me of my own grandparents whose relationship was exemplary, and when my grandfather passed away, my grandmother did not want to continue living because she simply could not fathom life without her other half. My goal is to achieve this kind of relationship with my husband. We have been doing pretty well in the ten years of marriage, thank G-d. But the idea is to keep growing together and learning to maintain harmony in our home so we can serve G-d with joy.

Finally, I can’t not mention one more fundamental teaching in Judaism: Joy is a choice. You may have heard that happiness is a result of one’s attitude and appreciation for whatever one has. Believe it or not, Chaya Sara’s joy went even deeper than seeing her glass half-full! How is this possible? In the early episodes of my podcast, when I was still exploring New Age philosophies, I spoke of humans possessing channels through which Divine energy can flow. When I began to learn Judaism, I realized this concept had been present ever since the beginning of Monotheism. When we are connected to G-d, when we have a strong relationship with Him and let him into every moment of our lives, we receive this tremendous Divine energy, Divine love, which bestows upon us blessings such as children, health and wealth. When this channel is open, it is impossible not to be happy because we begin to see G–d’s love in every little mundane thing, from our opening our eyes in the morning and taking another breath to having food to eat and clothes to wear. Everything becomes a source of happiness. And when G-d sends us hardship and pain for reasons beyond our understanding, we have a choice to either resent the creator and become depressed and defeated or continue to love Him, seek refuge in Him, and thank Him for the miracle of life. Chaya Sara endured what most people will never even come close to experiencing. She lost her parents and all of her siblings to the concentration camps, her body was used by a German doctor for experiments in Auschwitz, and she began her life anew with zero possessions in a foreign land. Nonetheless, this woman chose to see only the good in her life, however small it may have been, and her unwavering faith in G-d is what kept her living and sharing her love and blessing until she was 80 years of age. 

To take it a step further, Chaya Sara did not look for happiness. Her goal was to give as much as possible, and this, in return, made her happy. While most of us experience happiness when we receive something - a salary, a gift, healthy children - she was happiest when she gave. She never did anything for fun or for pleasure, she was always doing for others. And this of course is what made her a tzaddik. Again, we all are not expected to be exactly like her, to never do anything for fun or pleasure, but we can learn to experience happiness through giving rather than receiving. Just imagine how amazing our world would be if everyone focused a bit more on the needs of others rather than on their own. The Western philosophy has been inverted for some time now. News flash! By spending money and energy acquiring material objects, people do NOT become happier. On the contrary, after feeling joy for a day, they become more depressed the following day. According to Judaism, the antidote for depression is not “go out and buy something”, but rather “go out and help someone.” Be a giver! I promise you will be amazed at the difference in the quality of your life.

As I said, this book is a treasure, and every page, seriously, has something written on it I would share with you. If you liked what you heard, I urge you to purchase this book and, If you wish to support the show, please leave a review on your preferred podcasting app and of course share this episode with others!

Until next time!

Mentions: 

Holy Woman by Sara Yoheved Rigler

Chaya Sara Kramer and Rabbi Yakov Moshe Kramer

Tzaddik - righteous person

Vatranus - giving in for the sake of harmony and peace

Igeres Haramban: This letter was sent by the Ramban from his city to his son in Catalonia, regarding the act humility.

Modern Jewish Girl Podcast

Baal Shem Tov - Jewish mystic and healer regarded as the founder of Hasidic Judaism. 

The Three Oaths (Shalosh Shavuot) are a Talmudic concept (Ketubot 111a) based on Song of Songs, interpreting three divine vows: (1) Jews should not return to Israel "as a wall" (en masse or by force), (2) Jews should not rebel against the nations, and (3) nations should not excessively oppress Jews.