Welcome to Conquering Chaos a mom's guide to self-care and sanity . I'm your host , sydney Crow , and today's guest is Melissa Rolfe from Arizona . Melissa , welcome , thank you for being here . Thank you for having me . I'm excited to be here with you , sydney , awesome , I'm so excited for the listeners to hear a bit more about your story . So why don't you tell us about what a holistic health and life coach is and what you do ?
Speaker 2Yeah , sure . So I specialize in helping teenage girls and women find freedom with the struggle with food , and so many times we think it's just the food that we struggle with , but there's more to it than that . We have habits around food , we have relationship with food , we have memories with food , and so it's really digging deep and figuring out what the root cause is and working with that , and so that's a little bit of what I do as a holistic health and life coach .
Speaker 1Amazing and tell us a little bit about what you started in that . You had a bit of a tumultuous journey with food yourself , so I'm assuming that , as most coaches , we usually begin with our own journey . You're nodding , so why don't you share a little bit about that ?
Speaker 2Yeah , 100% . So I remember being eight and hiding like cookies and poppins and just sugary foods in my room as a little girl , because it was a coping mechanism for me to kind of handle some overwhelm and some stress and some things happening in the house that I wasn't in control of , and so food kind of became how I handled it and that carried throughout high school throughout college , into marriage , into motherhood , and then finally , after we had both of our kids , I was like you know what ?
Speaker 2enough is enough . I need to get this figured out , I need to stop turning to food . And so that really began my journey on holistic healing . There was coaching involved , there was therapy involved , there was a naturopath involved . It was the whole process , but through that I found freedom and really figured out how to heal from what was holding me back and why I was going to food in the first place .
Speaker 1That's a really powerful story , and I mean now having a daughter of your own . I'm sure it's . It's funny how we're always willing to do more for our kids , and so the fact that it was you know motherhood that prompted you to dig deep and start on this healing journey . You know it's a powerful story , but now you're learning how to fill your cup first , and that's allowing you to pour more into others . So you mentioned that your son is a strong will blessing . I have one of those myself . Tell us a little bit about that and how maybe your coaching experience has played into helping you with those struggles .
Speaker 2Oh , my goodness . Yeah , that just sums it up really well . You know , I keep , we keep joking . We're like you know what this is going to be used for so much good . One day You're going to make a wonderful attorney or salesperson . You'll really have this effect on people because you're so persistent and so passionate . And so I think for me that coaching has really helped because , like you said , I've been able to care for myself and I come into parenting , especially with him , from a place of fullness and being nourished and well rested and being curious .
Speaker 2I think before I started on my journey , I was really angry and really quick to snap and just kind of lose it , and that doesn't serve anybody . So for me to be able to step back and be a little bit more mindful , pause before I speak , be slow to listen , you know . Quick to wait , quick to speak . What is the word ? I don't even know . Anyway , there's some verse it's like be slow to anger . Quick , I don't know , I'll figure it out and send it to you later , but I think that that has really helped me , just to be more mindful in the moment instead of just going off . I don't take it personally , I know that he's not like trying to make me mad . He's just showing himself in his own way , and so I kind of have to come alongside and channel it appropriately .
Speaker 1Yes , yep , absolutely . It's amazing how , when we can learn how to just like pause a little bit and respond instead of that gut reaction I had a very similar story with that , where I just those knee jerk reactions and it wasn't until I started to fill my own cup , get my gut health under control , get my anxiety , which then led to getting my anxiety and my depression under control . You know , it's amazing that connection between our gut and our brain and the gut brain access and how it works so synergistically together . But when it's out of balance , we are so quick to just react to things and it , like our brain , just doesn't even give us a second to think things through . And so you deal a lot with nutrition , whole foods , things like that . Those are all important parts to gut health . Tell us a little bit about , maybe , what your favorite tips are in terms of nutrition or gut health and how that plays such an impactful role on your motherhood journey .
Speaker 2Yeah well , it changed everything for me . I mean , you know , the thing I didn't mention , cindy , was that part of my journey was getting diagnosed with PTSD from childhood trauma , and so that's where the coaching came in , that's where therapy came in , that's where the naturopath came in , and that was the first time ever I learned about the impact of minerals and supplements and nutrition on health beyond just weight . So for so many years I only associated food with weight . I didn't associate it with energy and gut , health and mood and living life fully right , and so I think that was kind of my wake up call , and so I guess I just want to share that food matters , like what you put in your body matters .
Speaker 2That affects your overall health . It affects your brain clarity if you have brain fog or if your brain is clear . It affects your energy , it affects your mood . It affects so much of your mother her journey , and I think so many of us are so used to just picking the crumbs off of our kids plates and saying , oh , we'll get by , or we're trying to lose weight , so we're not eating in . That's just not healthy from like any perspective . It's not really allowing you to show up and be your best self 100% .
Speaker 1It was a huge learning curve too , and I think a lot of people in our generation has associated with , like , the diet culture where it's oh , we want to be a specific body weight or body shape and you know it's all about the number on the scale . But at the end of the day , you know , our muscle mass matters . What , like you said , what we're putting in our body affects so many other systems . Right , it's not just food equals weight , it's the types of food that we're eating , it's are we having enough energy to get to the gym or do some sort of exercise , like ? For years I knew as a mom that I wanted to , you know , lose the baby weight . But also I was very athletic my entire life . So then , all of a sudden losing that ability from , you know , playing hockey until I was two and a half three months pregnant with my first daughter , to not then having the time to get back on the ice and trying to find things that would fit into my lifestyle . You know , mentally it was like I know I need to start working out , I know I need to eat , right , but I was so in like the brain fog and just low energy , that it was just like oh well , maybe I'll get there tomorrow or maybe I'll eat healthier tomorrow .
Speaker 1And there's so many things like both of us are in North America . Our standard American diet is so so bad right , big thumbs down for that and it really does affect all of the other systems in our body , right ? You see things like we're seeing more more mental health issues than ever before . We're seeing more , you know , diabetes and diseases than ever before . We're seeing more prescription medications than ever before . I mean , like the list goes on and on and on . But really , when it comes down to it , if we can fill our body with whole foods and get a little bit of sunlight and get a little bit of exercise every single day , then we are going to be better for it in the long run , which is incredible that so many people are still fixated on the scale .
Speaker 2For me and I'm sure you deal with this all the time with your clients- 100% and I think too , like for me , sydney , what really opened my eyes was like , if food is affecting me this much , how is it affecting my kids ? You know , you look at the products that are marketed towards kids and they've got the dyes and the high fruit and toast , corn syrup and all of the stuff that is not serving any nutritional value at all . Like why are they marketing those products towards our kids ? And if you think about , like where I was , I'm very similar to where you were right , like exhausted , just didn't have the energy to do anything , and my kids were living off of that , like that was affecting their mood too . So we've got to think about food beyond just weight and size , because it's so much more , not only for ourselves but for our kids .
Speaker 1Absolutely . I mean , my daughter was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder called Weidmann-Steiner syndrome and 100% changing her diet has helped with the symptoms of that . So I mean we just had Halloween here . My kids get Skittles is one of the big ones . And I'm going to name names here because they are a huge culprit .
Speaker 1And you look at other countries like the UK , where the red dye in that is completely different to what they're serving here in North America , and then you think like okay , well , california has just recently banned those products , but it's going to take three years to phase them out . And I'm like why is something going to take three years when they already have the product made for other countries ? Like it's just mind blowing to me that they're willing to still put these things on the shelves and our kids are consuming them . So my kids don't eat Skittles . Throwing that out there . They know better because I'm educating them and that's the power of this is that we need to do better so that they can do better . Right , we need to educate the younger generations on what they're putting in their body , because that's just not how we were raised and that's okay . But now that we know better , we need to do better 100% .
Speaker 1Well , is there any other advice or tips that you would like to share for the mums out there listening today ? But , you just want them to know , like .
Speaker 2I think there is this notion in society that if you take care of yourself , you are selfish , and I think that is just the biggest lie that I have ever heard , because the fact that matters when I started taking care of myself and I heard the same with you when you started taking care of yourself and acknowledging that you matter , that you were worth taking Care of it allows you to show up as a better wife , as a better mom , and you can really be who you want to be and who your kids deserve you to be . So I think we just need to break away from that mindset that , oh , it's selfish to go to the gym or it's selfish to Eat this when it makes me feel really good , or . I think we just need to break all of those notions because they're not serving us at all 100% and I couldn't agree more .
Speaker 1I mean , I come
. I'm often found saying there's a reason why when an airplane is going down , they tell us to put our oxygen mask on first , and you know , it's really insightful . Especially , I have two daughters . I know you have a daughter and a son , but like and it's important for both . But I think women have been raised to be such people pleasers and be the good girl and Sure , manners and all of that are very important , but not at the detriment to our well-being and our self-care . And being able to lead by example for our children is so powerful because that's going to give them the permission and I think that's the big thing .
Speaker 1Like I said , this on another interview where I feel like should needs to be stricken from the English language , because that word puts so much pressure on us and we need to understand that as long as we're happy and our cup is full , it's not selfish , like you said , and there's nothing out there that we need to be doing . That or that we should be doing is when it doesn't feel authentic to ourselves . So thank you so much for sharing that last tip . I'm so grateful that you were able to be here on the show today . Thank you for all of you tuning in where we help you conquer the chaos , one day at a time .