excited today that I have Riona here with me . She is a wife and a mom . She lives down in Colorado and is actually a real estate educator , and I'm so excited to hear more about her story on how she's conquered chaos and how she sometimes feels like she's a stranger to people but always lends an open ear . Riona , welcome . Hi , thanks , I'm excited to be here . So why don't you tell everybody a little bit about yourself and what made you want to be a guest on this show , because you have a pretty impactful story .
Speaker 2Yes , thank you . So I just kind of in a nutshell , in Illinois , met my husband in Colorado about 12 years ago . We have a seven and a half year old . I actually grew up in real estate . My mom was a realtor for 30 years and then I got my degree in middle school science of all things and after that , for some bizarre reason , I got hired at a school and they put me in a first grade classroom , and so you can guess how long that lasted , because middle school science to first grade .
Speaker 2Unfortunately , it just didn't work so very different . That was right before we moved out to Colorado and my neighbor at our first house that we rented out here was also a real estate agent . So she said why don't you come to my office ? And so I fell back into real estate , getting licensed out here in Colorado , and actually I went to one real estate class and I walked out of it thinking that was terrible , it was so boring . And then it was like there has to be a better way . So that is when I decided to mesh what I know real estate with what I love educating , and that's sort of what led me to being in real estate education .
Speaker 1I love that , and your husband has had quite a where you've been able to support him and be sort of the rock for your family , so why don't you tell us a little bit more about that ?
Speaker 2Yeah , so we decided in 2000 goodness , we did that back in 2018 . Me , being in real estate , I'm always the one that pushes the let's sell the house , let's buy the house , let's do this . The husband is always like slow down , anyhow . We bought a piece of land , built a home that was finished in February of 2020 and then , as we know the I say , the world shut down in March of 2020 and then in April of 2020 , my life really shut down .
Speaker 2My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer . Unfortunately , prior to that , it was a misdiagnosis . He was told he had a hemorrhoid and went in to get that hemorrhoid fixed and woke up and determined that hemorrhoid was in fact a tumor . That was on a Thursday . We were whisked away to Denver . Like I said , we're about four hours from Denver , so wanted to go to major hospitals and was there on a Tuesday , figured out the course of action . It was all very quick , which they warned us about because at the time he was 39 , so it was a . It was a really fast process which , in hindsight , was great , but I think at the same time , didn't really give me a whole lot of them to process at all .
Speaker 2I went into what I like to call autopilot .
Speaker 2I lived , I kept the house , I worked I actually worked too much , which was how I coped and I'm still learning to get out of that and it was , you know , it was really intense and I think sometimes do I regret like I don't remember my son a lot at that time .
Speaker 2He was what happened and I don't know if I don't remember it because that's also just , you know , a lot of chaos when your child is that little , but adding the stress of my husband being ill , I think , compacted , and I just sort of muster through it and you know , I look back and think , gosh , I wish I would have done that differently , or I wish I could have changed that . And that is why and I know you kind of already said it at the intro , but I do I'm open arms to anybody that is in the same situation , just trying to navigate and figure out how can I best do this and come out . You know , yes , I've gotten over it as far as coming out on the other side and I have to be okay with how I handled it , because that's what I did in the minute to survive and that's what I can do and I can't sit here and beat myself up about it , but unfortunately some days that happens .
Speaker 1The mindset piece is a really . I mean it can be really challenging , right ? Because we go into that survivor mode and I think a lot of moms . You know there's various reasons why we get into that mode , but we always want to do more for other people and , like , I mean , I have black spots in my brain too .
Speaker 1When I was in that survivor I call it survivor mode where you're literally just getting up and it's like every day is on repeat .
Speaker 1You just need to get through the day and go to sleep and then get up and you do it all over again the next day , and so it's almost like your brain just has these black holes of memory .
Speaker 1You said that you didn't remember much of your son at that point because you literally were just I have to pay bills , I have to make sure my husband's okay , my kid is fed , there's a roof over his head Like it is just pure survival .
Speaker 1So you know , I mean and , like you said , it's really easy to beat ourselves up over that , but at the end of the day , I hope that we can say that your husband is healthy and your son is healthy and you guys have made it to the other side , and so , like I say to my kids and I love this in Frozen 2 , I have two daughters , and so we all there's a song that's like the next best thing , right ? So I just need to do the next right thing , and so you've gotten to that point and that's all you can focus on moving forward . You did mention that you are trying to unlearn your work habits , that you you've got in that season of life and you mentioned and like we were chatting before this call started but that you now put your cell phone in your in your bathroom overnight . So why don't you tell them ? There's a little bit about that , cause I'm assuming that that's one of the rules that you're implementing . It is yes .
Speaker 2And that is exact I did . I used work as a coping mechanism and , gratefully , during that time , the woman that watched our son was a retired nurse , so she was fabulous and it was comforting knowing that I could leave her at home watching my son while my husband was in the bedroom , and I knew that if he needed anything , honestly she would have been better suited to help him anyway , because I don't I don't do trauma well or like situations where you have to act quickly . I go into like I freeze , like animals play dead . That's what I do . I would leave her and I would go to the office . And I didn't even have to go to the office . So , like I said , that was all . During the other C word , covid , which I don't like to say that word I went to the office even though I didn't have to .
Speaker 2I worked at a company . I was the only paid person , so I was in an office by myself , but I needed that . I needed to get out of the house , but I found that I would go to the office and then I would come home . I would make sure everybody was fed . I would get back on my computer . I remember sitting and just refreshing my email , thinking like , okay , well , someone's going to need me , there's going to be something I need to do . And I guess it's kind of a double edge , because I have since left that company and I primarily work for myself , and so I think that's kind of what spawned that , because I put so much energy into it . But at the same token , I sort of I had to battle because I was working I mean nights , weekends , which as entrepreneurs we do that but I found this like I I've got to and actually it was my therapist that recognized it and I knew it . I think I just needed someone to make me aware of like free you are . You're killing yourself literally , you're overworking yourself . You need to take time , and I needed to take time to sort of , except , I guess I'll say what was happening . I think denial is a powerful thing and I think that's also a lot of what was happening . So it has taken time for me to do that , and so I've decided you know what I'm just gonna do small baby steps , and we can all agree with this If we try to take on four things , we don't do any of them , whereas if we try to take on one thing at a time it's like , okay , I can conquer this .
Speaker 2So that has been one of my things that have sort of started is the cell phone . Yes , I leave it in my bathroom on a charger at night and it's really helped . Honestly , I feel like I sleep better when I wake up in the middle of the night . It's like I can't reach for something , or , you know , I did end up getting an alarm clock as well , so I know what time it is . I use the alarm clock as opposed to using a phone and working really hard , and I know it might sound silly , but not having my cell phone near me when we're eating dinner and working really diligently , that you know . Shutting down my computer at five or six I know six seems late Sometimes it happens Making dinner and then not getting back on a computer at all , or if I need to , I make sure I don't do it until after I put my son to bed . Before I think I was kind of just continually doing it and that's not helping him by . You know me sitting on an electronic all the time .
Speaker 1No , I agree , we definitely have dedicated screen time in our house as well . And one thing I noticed because , like you , like if I put my kids to bed and then I come back on my computer , sometimes I would find myself it would be like 11 o'clock at night and I'm still in the thick of things and I'm like , oh , and then I was asleep . So now it's like when I get my kids to bed , unless there's something that's like really , really urgent and it's only gonna take me a few minutes , then I'll hop back on , but I now have a no computer after bedtime . Like I just need time to unwind and relax , and I've noticed that I'm sleeping a lot better because of it . Right , like our brains weren't meant to be on 24 seven . We need time for , you know , all of that buildup and that rest and , yeah , so it's great that you're doing that . I'm assuming that you're finding more balance between work and family and all of that .
Speaker 1You did touch on the fact that you see a therapist . Is that something that you're open to talking a little bit about ? This is about , like mums and mental wellness . I myself see a therapist . I'm a huge , strong advocate . What made you wanna start , is that ? What did you start it with your husband's illness , or is that something that you've done kind of life on ?
Speaker 2Yeah it was prior to that . I actually had postpartum depression that I shoved under the rug until my son was . It was around two and whatever I call it postpartum , they claim that after two years that's not still what it's categorized as , but anyway , that's what it was .
I called my husband at work one day . I was home with our son this is when we were building our house , so we were in different housing and this small little place and I said I'm done . And he was like huh , what are you done with ? And I was like I'm leaving and he was like where are you going ? And I was like I'm not sure , but I'm out of here . And he was like do not move , I'll be home . And luckily he worked five minutes away . So he came home and he was like what is going on ? And he knew I mean , postpartum is pretty obvious , especially if you have . I mean , obviously he's never gone through it , he's a male , but even now myself I recognize it in other women .
Speaker 2It's always kind of a hard topic because it had been brought to my attention before and I was like I'm fine , like I was . I have a very good relationship if they listen to it . Don't be offended , but my parents were always very like you can do it , you've got this , you don't need it , you don't need help . You know you've got it . And so I think I had to keep that in mind I can do this , I don't need help , whether that's help as in talking to someone or taking medication , whatever it may be . So my husband came home that day . We had a good conversation . He called my parents and I ended up . My midwife actually recommended a therapist and at that time I started seeing her . I did medication , which I will say was again not something I wanted to do , but I was talked into it and we think that you've gotten so low that you're not even making like conscious decisions at this point , and so just try medication to try to bring you back to like a level playing field , and then let's see how it goes . And , oh my gosh , they were so right . I didn't realize how low I had gotten and so I took medication to yes , get back to like okay , this is how I'm supposed to function . And then I was able to wean myself off of those and now I use natural remedies . So , luckily , when my husband was diagnosed , I still had that same therapy was actually one of the first probably five people that I called and we still work together and I'm so grateful for her , I recommend I even have friends that are like , well , I don't know , I don't know what I would talk about with a therapist and I'm like , oh , trust me , you will find something . And it is amazing . I'm so grateful the things that I've learned about myself and my childhood and just all of those things , and it really helps you . It helps me at least when I'm going through a crappy time or I'm feeling down on myself , like , no , we can back out of this , think about this , think about this , think about how far you've come , and it's just been monumental .
Speaker 2Like I said , I think everybody should have a therapist . I mean , they are trained individuals , that's the . I mean , that's their job . They have scientific research is to try this and here's why . And it's a third party . So they don't . They're not judging you . And if they are judging you , I will say it took me a bit . I've talked to other therapists and they weren't the right fit , and I think that's important too . I think some people say , well , I didn't like them . Okay , go find someone else , because I promise there's somebody out there that will work for you and you will feel comfortable . Okay , cool .
Speaker 1So yeah , and I think that's a really key piece of this . I was just having a conversation with someone about this over the weekend because , you know , therapy is so specific and it's not a one size fits all and so just because you've talked to one therapist doesn't mean and didn't enjoy it , doesn't mean that there isn't going to be the right person for you out there . I have very few . My daughter was also around the age of two when I started to seek help and , like you , it was postpartum anxiety and I get that it's , you know that too much .
Speaker 1But when you've been suffering for two years and trying to do it all on your own , thinking that you can just get through it and not really understanding it , like for me , it came from a place that like fear and shame and I was like , if I actually talk about like what I'm feeling right now , are they going to take my kids away ? Am I an unfit mother ? Like right . But there was . There was this whole story that I had worked up in my head to the point where then , when my husband had come home one day and I was totally losing my mind , he was like we need to like there , there's another piece here . We need to get some extra help , and I also was on medication for a while and it was supposed to be a short period of time and it ended up being seven years before I even found the ability to go off of that .
Speaker 2Yeah , and some people never get off of it , and that's fine too . The biggest reason I got off and I'm sorry that I kind of butted in there the biggest reason I got off was because I it helped , but then it had other side effects came along with it for me and I tried other medications and then they one caused vertigo to an extent that I could barely function . So that was the biggest reason that I got off was because it caused other things that then I was like I don't know that this is worth it anymore . But I mean , I still have days like who that would probably be helpful .
Speaker 1Yeah , and I mean you mentioned that you use holistic options . Now I mean we need to credit a lot of nutrition and holistic supplements and sunlight , and you know the list goes on and on . You and I both live in the mountains and so we have very limited sunlight in the winter , so I find that I need extra support in the winter , extra vitamin D , things like that that can help if medication isn't a route that you want to go , or you can use that as a last resort , or you can use that in conjunction with all of these other things . But there are a ton of natural options out there that can also help . Yes , amazing . So what would you say ? People can learn , or where can you say people can learn more about you ?
Speaker 2So I do have a podcast you can listen to . It is called what's the cheese , which is a pun off of my name . Brianna Bree is my shortened version . That is on Spotify as well as Apple podcasts . You can also find me on Instagram and my Instagram handle is Bri like the cheese , for I'm on Facebook as Brianna LGets and , of course , to email me , which is Bri , at Brianna LGetscom , and people are probably like how the heck do I say that ? I'm sure Sydney will put that information out there for you , but like .
Speaker 2I said , I'm always an open ear or open arms , whatever , because I remember moments at 2am when my husband was ill thinking how in the world am I going to get through this ? And sometimes finding someone that's been through that , especially when you're in your 30s , is tough . Because cancer , I feel like , is this thing that people say it's older people . And I remember going to the hospital and every time we'd sit in a waiting room . All of the posters on the wall , all of the pamphlets on the table were old people and I was so badly wanting to be like . You guys really need to change this . I mean , there's so much childhood cancer and it's unfortunate . Everybody deals with it , it's not just old people .
Speaker 1Cancer definitely does not discriminate , and so if you had one last piece of advice for the moms that are listening , what would that be ?
Speaker 2My biggest thing that I've been working on recently is going back to the basics , keeping things simple , not overwhelming myself . That is one thing I tell myself . I worked on it . I kept telling myself I don't do overwhelm , I don't do overwhelm . And I did it once and I will tell you it has made a huge difference , because how can I make this simple and easy and not overthink it ?
Speaker 1I love that . That's great advice . Well , thank you so much for being on the show today , brianna . I've had our conversation . We have so much in common , you guys . I will drop all of those links that Brianna mentioned under the show and the show notes . Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of Conquering Chaos and we will help you conquer the chaos one day at a time . Yeah , thanks , sydney . Bye , that's amazing . Thank you so much . Yeah , thank you . Our stories are very , very similar . There was so much that you were saying today that I was like , yep , check , check , check .
Speaker 2And I think it's actually similar for a lot of people . I just think people don't .