Hey , hey , everybody . Welcome back to Conquering Chaos A Mom's Guide to Self-Care and Sanity . Today we have Amanda Schenkenberger , and she is located over in Portland , Oregon . She helps homeschool moms calm the chaos , create a schedule and build strong bonds with their kids so that everyone can experience joyful connection and rigorous academics . At the same time , she leverages her own experience as a homeschool individual and homeschooling mother of four inside the Homeschool Family Academy , where she coaches other moms to educate curious minds and cultivate courageous spirits . I love that , Amanda . I'm so excited to connect with a homeschool coach because homeschooling has definitely been something on my radar . That always feels really unattainable for somebody like myself who has a very busy schedule . So why don't you fill the listeners in a little bit about who you are , how you got to be a homeschool coach and kind of what you're all about there ?
Speaker 2Yeah , thank you . So I , like you said , I was homeschooled as a kid and I had this very idyllic childhood growing up where I got to be outside with our dogs . We bred horses , and so I got a lot of play in in my childhood . But when I hit my teens , my parents ended up divorcing and I had to go to public high school and I was so nervous about this .
Speaker 2I remember my first day like where I was sitting in the classroom , the teacher's name , like sweat dripping down my face and honestly , I was very nervous because I had very little formal learning and I thought to myself well , these kids have been sitting in these desks their whole life to excel academically and that's not where my focus has been and I think I'm going to fail . And so when the teachers first posted grades during that first quarter , it turns out I didn't have any reason to think that , because I was placing near the top of all my classes and I thought , oh my gosh , these kids have been stuck inside to these chairs and I'm doing better than them . I think I know a better way to learn .
Speaker 2And so I knew , yeah , 15 years old , I was like when I have my kids , I am homeschooling them , I am not putting them in here Like I had life situation .
Speaker 2This is the only place I had to like go and learn now , since my mom was a single mom and she was working full time . And so that's kind of where the journey began and I've always been my friends called me a homeschooling evangelist , so I stopped trying to get me to homeschool , amanda , but it's great , it's amazing , you should try it . And then one day I just felt like a call from God to turn it into a business and I had a . I had some business experience online before with a product based business and okay , and so I gave it a shot and it turns out . I love it and it's amazing , and I love coaching and seeing families thrive and just sharing a lot of that joy and that peace that I've gotten in our own homeschool and that connection , that connection piece is really important to me . So that's that's kind of how I got started and I just I'm all about the homeschooling .
Speaker 1I love that . So how old are your kids now ?
Speaker 2So I have four boys , and they are four , seven , nine and 11 .
Speaker 1Okay , so that's like I mean you're in the thick of it , right ? Like primary school is very , I would say , a labor intensive from you know , a parenting like hands-on perspective . How do you manage that at all different grades ?
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah . So I think number one that's it's a great question , and that's even moms who are currently homeschooling and they're like in that thick of it , like how do you balance all of this ? And I think number one is about empowering our children to foster that independent learning right that you can go and learn on your own , that self-directed learning . What do you want to learn about ? How do you best learn ? How can I support you in this ? How can we turn this into something fun and explore , while also providing foundations like language arts and mathematics ?
Speaker 2So , until my kids can read on their own which now I just have the four-year-old who's beginning to read until that point there's a lot of hands-on work for me , but my older two , they are grades ahead and they do all their work independently from me . Now there's some like we'll write papers together . Or , if they can't at this point actually I'm not if they can't get a math problem , we have to Google it , like I . Just I'm like you're way beyond me in math , like I don't , I don't remember , you know . So we learned together , but they are fully in charge of their own homeschooling experience .
Speaker 2And if what we're doing isn't working for them , like mom , this is boring . Okay , let's figure out why this is boring . Oh , they're having you repeat the same thing that you know over and over again . Yeah , this isn't going to work for us , because you know this . Let's find something that fits you better . So it's a lot of dialogue , a lot of working and collaboration , while allowing them to take it on their own and learn at their own pace . My seven year old is a little bit of a different beast because he just struggles with managing his emotions . He's super bright , can read , but he's very hands-on , as much as my four-year-old is when it comes to learning . So that's a little bit of a different scenario .
Speaker 1Okay , and I mean both my girls have learning challenges so they have modified programs in the public system . Would you say that homeschooling is available to all kids ?
Speaker 2Oh yeah , absolutely Absolutely , I think , especially for kids who are different learners . Like I said , my seven-year-old . He's exceptionally bright . He is reading . He's seven and he's reading at a seventh grade level . That's what he's testing at . So he's very bright .
Speaker 2He just struggles with this emotional piece that when he doesn't understand something , he thinks like the world is falling to pieces and I'm like nothing's wrong , like today , there's nothing wrong , you don't need to be upset , it's okay to ask for help , like I have to ask for help all the time , buddy and he's like okay , you know , our kids that are on you know have any kind of learning challenge or are on the spectrum in any way . Homeschooling is actually a better option for them , especially when we can work in tandem with , possibly like an OT or a specialist , because there might be some tools we need that could help them along the way . But that's so available to us now online through the internet , if we're wanting to go more , a DIY route . And yes , so I think 100% it can be even better for our kids that have learning challenges because they have that devoted time with the person who loves them the most .
Speaker 1I love this so much . Now , in terms of time , you've got two kids that are fairly independent with their learning . You've got two that maybe need quite a bit more hands-on . How much time during the day are you guys spending doing homeschooling ?
Speaker 2yeah . So my oldest two . They spend about two hours doing homeschool . You know 45 minutes math . Maybe you know half hour arts and then whatever we're kind of filling things in with based on their interests . And then there's , you know , social time that we'll do with friends or things of that nature . But the other two the four-year-old , because he's so young , our school time , formal learning time , is like 20 minutes maximum and everything else is just fun . We're playing outside , we're going exploring .
Speaker 2Let's see what else are some of the things we do . We draw , he loves to draw , he thinks it's fun . We bake together and I don't consider any of that formal learning . But when we sit down to learn all the letters and their sounds , we don't really spend more than about 20 minutes on that . With my seven-year-old we spend more time and that really depends for him , simply because of the emotional piece . For him we can get school done in 45 minutes or it might take two hours because of the amount of breaks we need to take and the calming we need to do and the talking through we need to do . So . For him it quite varies , but if he's on it having a good day , it'll be 45 minutes to an hour .
Speaker 1I think this is amazing , and so do all of your boys go through the same program or are they in different programs ? Cause homeschooling is like there's there's a lot of options out there and like how do you pick ?
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah . So there there are a lot of options and this is where I feel like it's one of the beyond like okay , I'm committed to homeschooling . That you know . That's the first hurdle . The second hurdle really comes in with this vast amount of homeschooling curriculum options that are out there . And I honestly tell parents that's actually not where we want to start , because if you are limited on time , that's going to change the curriculum you choose .
Speaker 2So we can't go dig around for curriculum until we understand your schedule fully . So and you know , if we're doing this in tandem with grandma or there's a lot of online learning , right , we need to make sure , before we go do our research , what is actually available to us according to what we need to invest with our time . So what we do is I always choose up through elementary school is an open and go curriculum , and with an open and go curriculum , it basically I open it and then I literally read it to them . It says parent , read this , like okay , I can do that , and so then it tells me what to say , and then it gives us an activity to do and then it gives them , usually like a work page or a way to apply whatever they've just learned and when they become solid readers they can go do that on their own . So for us we mostly use the good and the beautiful through elementary school and now that I have one in middle school we're kind of playing with different things , seeing what works for him .
Speaker 2It's our first go around . He's actually taking a high school science class because his passion is in high school , like his passion is science , and so we've got like on the other side of this wall is a dead dogfish we're going to dissect soon , which I'm not super excited , but you know he is excited . So again it gets back to okay , what do I have time for , what can I invest ? And then what is my child's passion ? And that varies for all of them . I was just talking to my nine-year-old and he really is interested in robotics and how different electronic mechanics work and I'm like , well , why don't we go get you an old computer from Goodwill and you can take it apart and see , put it back together and it'll turn on Right , just to give him the opportunity to explore his passions . So again , at elementary ages I shoot for open and go curriculum and then , as they start heading towards those middle school years , really begin to personalizing it based on what I can invest and what their interests are .
Speaker 1I love that and I mean , you've touched on something that I didn't even impute on , and that's the investment for homeschooling . So there's obviously a very wide spectrum with that .
Speaker 2Yeah . So there's financial investment , time investment . So thinking about what time can I invest ? Because I'm a working mom , I have to be able to quickly communicate to my husband what my children need , and so that's one of the reasons we have an open and go curriculum , because I'm like , okay , read this lesson to him . And he's like , okay , I can do that , you know . So it's easy to pass on . But also thinking about the financial piece , right ? The high school course we purchased was a very nice , expensive course in itself , and then we had to purchase an entire package to go with it of different test tubes , a microscope , this dogfish starfish , a different fluid , like I don't even know what it's all for . But we chose to make that investment because that's where his passion lies and that cultivating that love of learning and helping him go deep in what he's passionate about is really where homeschooling shines , and that's what I want to prioritize .
Speaker 1I think this is really like . I'm just fascinated by the whole premise because , like I said , it's definitely something that I've always dreamed of . I think it's the right phrase . We love to travel and the freedom that can come along with that , because I think educating our kids outside of the classroom is very , very valuable , but a lot of times you're constricted to the schedule or you have a teacher that maybe doesn't want to spend the time to send work home to so that they don't fall behind , or you know it's , it's really challenging , and so to have that freedom , but I've always just kind of held it in like this ideal bubble where I'm like , oh , maybe one day , when they're like self-sufficient , like high school , they can do online learning and it'll be okay , and you know . So I'm really intrigued by this whole idea that there's and that you can really just help them .
Speaker 1Like you said , your , your words were foster their passion , and I think that that's really , really important , especially in today's day and age , because when I was growing up , it was super important to check all the boxes right Go to high school , go to college , get a job , get married , like all these things . And now that I'm getting to kind of like midlife . I'm like , well , maybe that wasn't the best course of action . There's a hundred million paths that they can take and so having those opportunities and those options so that they can figure it out at such a young age , I think is phenomenal , Like it's really special , what you guys are able to do . So if you were to talk to parents that were maybe considering homeschooling or in homeschooling and maybe not having the best experience .
Speaker 2What would that piece of advice be for them that you would give them ? Yeah , so thinking about this child-led learning whenever in my own family like we're going through a rough time with homeschooling or we're just having a rough relationship like , for example , I think homeschooling number one is an extension of parenting .
Speaker 2It's parenting more in depth and so , yes , there are new skills you have to learn , but it's really just an extension of that parenting figure and authority and connection that you have with your kids . So whenever we're struggling , whether it's around homeschooling or just in our relationship , I always go back to what are my kids interested and how can I show them that that's valuable , right ? So one of my kids loves Minecraft . Mom , will you watch me make this hotel in Minecraft ? Yeah , honey , I'll watch you do that . I would love to . Oh , look at you . That's such a good building . Oh , that's so creative . Right , in pouring out my words and my attention , right , my time , I'm investing it with him to really establish that relationship
.
Speaker 2Are there some educational benefits to Minecraft ? Maybe a little , right , maybe a little , but the point is , if we're having a rough time homeschooling or we're wanting to begin homeschooling , lean into your children's interest . Show them that what they care about is valuable , because when you do that , you are getting their buy-in to the learning process . Because a lot of times kids are like oh , I don't like school . Well , they might not like the building , they might not like what's done in the building , but homeschooling is in a completely different learning process and if you can get them to see that this learning process is valuable and what you want to research or learn about is valuable and I'm interested in it because you're interesting , that's where you begin .
Speaker 2Because then when you become in and like , suggest , like what do you think about doing some of this stuff from home ? What do you think about doing school with me ? But it's , it wouldn't look like what it looks like at school . It would kind of look like what we've been . You know , when we've researched your squid project , or you wrote me a song or you know whatever it is , you painted me that picture . It would look more like that . What do you think about that ? Suddenly , you now really have their buy-in , because they're already invested in their passions , they've already seen the connection that it brings with you and they're genuinely interested . And so if you were already homeschooling , you start from there like , okay , then you baby step your way back into those subjects that maybe were causing some contention or were really a struggle for them to understand , and again starting with what they care about and then easing into those new things or those things that were causing problems before .
Speaker 1That's really , really sound advice and I think a lot of parents , whether you homeschool or not , it's so important to you know lean into those connection pieces so that you can have that connected relationship as they get older . Sorry , I had a question and it's just kind of evaded me . Oh , the social piece . So when it comes to homeschooling , a lot of the stigma is , you know well , they don't have a social life or they don't have that peer to peer kind of relationships . How do you foster those with your kids ? Do you guys have like a homeschooling pod or what does that look like for you guys ?
Speaker 2Yeah . So it's really interesting that you mentioned peer to peer relationships , because one of the things that public school does that you're not going to find anywhere else in the world is that it segments you according to your age , which really devalues the kind of relationship you can develop with somebody who's older and further along , or and then to see how I can help the little ones that I am valuable and I can contribute to somebody who's younger than me . It separates all that and so , while I think peer to peer is important , I'm not so concerned about like okay , you're 11 . Are you exactly 11 ? You know ?
Speaker 2like okay you're 11 , 12 , 13 . Okay , great . Or you're 8 , 9 , 10 . Perfect , let's see what kind of relationship we can cultivate , because I think that's where the richness really comes in , in a relationship where we can see how we can cultivate , because I think that's where the richness really comes in , in a relationship where we can see how we can collaborate .
Maybe you know I'm 11 and this kid is seven and he really wants to talk about Pokemon . Well , I do like Pokemon . Oh , he doesn't quite understand math . Maybe I can help him understand math by playing Pokemon , because the like you know the hit points , the HP right . Like I can help him understand math through Pokemon , because the like you know the hit points , the HP right . Like I can help them understand math through Pokemon because we both like it Right . And so there's a collaboration that that happens when we first of all allow our kids to interact with children who are different ages .
Speaker 2But it's so funny you bring in the socialization piece , because I heard that as a homeschool kid . You know people would ask me oh honey , where do you go to school ? And I'm like oh , I'm homeschooled . And they were like but you're not weird , yeah , thank you . Like , what do you say to that as a kid , and so it's all about , and that's one of the things that I got so much experience in as a homeschool kid . I was heavily involved in a sport that had a variety of ages , it's called vaulting , it's gymnastics on horseback , and so we worked as a team , and so there's sports number one . Those have always been around . That's how I got a lot of socialization .
Speaker 2But now there are homeschool co-ops , so we're part of a homeschool co-op with kids . Let's see , they're between the ages of 13 and who's the youngest ? I think my little one's the youngest , 13 and four , and we'll do things together . I'll do a little teaching and then we'll work on a project together , but then , like my boys , go to jujitsu and we've got friends that live three hours from us that we'll talk to on Zoom , you know . So there's so many different ways to connect and with a lot of connection actually moving online . That's even it's evolving even as we speak , and so I think that getting plugged into a community is not just essential for the kids but also for mom to find that support . But it's so easy now to find kids that you want your children to interact with in the homeschooling world , because it's become so popular .
Speaker 1Yeah , I mean that's really cool and like are there websites ? Or like how would you find a homeschooling pod ? Like , we live in a pretty small town and I mean our neighbors homeschooled last year and they said that one of the pieces for them was that all of these socialization pods were an hour away . So they would go to the city every once in a while , but you know , my neighbor didn't really want to do that on a regular basis . So any recommendations on that ? Or is like like how do parents find them ?
Speaker 2Yeah . So first of all , if you live in a small city and you're not finding one , the first place I would go is Facebook groups . That's where I would go . I would search local Facebook groups like homeschool group , homeschool co-op , that sort of thing , and if you don't find one , start one like just be an initiator and be like okay , I can have kids over my house once a week , or we can go meet in the woods , like you told me . You live near Banff . We can go meet in the woods . When it's above zero outside Do people ski and that and snowboard . We just got to get dressed up and it'll be fine , right , yeah , so I would honestly just start on . A Facebook group is where I is , where I would go .
Speaker 1Interesting , okay , and I know that you have a resource that we're going to put in the show notes called homeschool family schedule templates , cause that is where you specialize is like really helping people dissect their schedule what is attainable , what's not . Do you want to just talk a little bit about that for the listeners ?
Speaker 2Yeah , so I have this method of creating a schedule for your homeschool family life , like your dream lifestyle . What do we want it to look like ? And what we need to do is basically take out all of those dreams and aspirations that are in your head and segment them into time blocks and theme parts of our day . And when we can theme parts of our day , then we can begin piecing out routines . And then we could say so-and-so is doing this and so-and-so is doing this , and then I'll be doing this over here . And then you put it's like mind mapping all of your entire day . Okay , this is what Monday is going to look like here . It's Tuesday , wednesday , thursday right , maybe Friday's a free day , and you just map out what you want your days to look like and then , if , oh , this doesn't work here in the morning , let's try and move this to the afternoon .
Speaker 2You can move these pieces together to just kind of trial and error to see what works and what doesn't work and when we can get our schedule piece figured out which can be a lot for people , because this is where we get into executive functioning skills and then like , oh , I'm not on time or so-and-so is giving me a lot of pushback and it's time for us to transition .
Speaker 2How do I deal with this relationship issue ? A lot will come up when we begin to hone in on our schedule , but once we do , we can then create these pockets of time for connection , these pockets of time where , okay , I'm struggling as a mom with by being calm and being kind . So how do I work on me right so that I can show up for my as my best self , for my kids , and then how can I help them co-regulate All those things ? But we got to first dial in the schedule before we can really create those pockets of time for you . So this is really foundational to all of my teachings , because once we get that right , we can begin to build on it . It's just a really strong foundation .
Speaker 1Perfect . And when you are coaching clients , do you find , like , is it like a building block , like you just said ? So it's just kind of triggered , like , or do you just help people kind of set it up in the beginning and that's , that's the end ?
Speaker 2Yeah , so I have two programs . One is the I call it 60 days to consistency , and that's where we're working on your schedule and we're really honed in . We come up with a SMART goal for you , we build your schedule out like okay , and then we fine tune it together over 60 days and we do that as a community . But then I have a year-long program called HeartSmart Homeschool Moms and that's where , once we get this schedule piece finalized , we can then go from there and begin building on there , because as we figure out this homeschooling thing , it does come with a very steep learning curve . Our children change and they grow and then we're growing and realizing things .
Speaker 2Then maybe there's some life shifts , right , like mom wants to go back to work , or maybe we do start that co-op next year . How do I create time for that ? All of those sort of things is really where I want to help . That's really where I do help moms over the long journey of working with me for a year , and then some of my clients now have been with me for a year and a half , or you know we're going on two years and so . But really like initially like okay , let's . It's going to take some time to not just figure out the schedule , but there's a lot of pieces , a lot of moving pieces , so let's spend a year together . I'm committed to you , you're committed to homeschooling . We'll work together to figure out all these pieces to build the homeschooling life of your dreams .
Speaker 1Amazing . Well , that's really . Yeah , like I said this , this conversation is just super insightful for me because it has been something that has been on my radar for a while , as I like .
Wouldn't that be nice one day . Before we sign off , Is there one piece of advice that you would love to give the moms or the homeschooling parents out there ?
Speaker 2Yeah , so I don't have a homeschooling mom just yet , but yeah , especially for the more for the moms who are thinking about it , and if it's the call on your heart to homeschool your mom , there's no better time than the present there really is , because as our kids get older , pulling them out of school can become more difficult . And then not only are you trying to undo your own thinking about school like the traditional public school , now you've got to undo what they've had , you know , been doing for years , and so it's just a harder shift . So the younger we can start , the better , and really beginning and developing that love of learning . And the easiest place to do that is to lean into their passions and show them that what they're curious about is valuable .
Speaker 1Perfect . Well , I appreciate that you guys . We'll make sure to have that homeschool family schedule template in the show notes for you . Amanda , it's been so lovely connecting with you today and I appreciate all of your insight on homeschooling . And thank you guys for tuning into today's episode where we help you conquer the chaos one day at a time .