Hey , hey , mamas , welcome back to Conquering Chaos A Mom's Guide to Self-Care and Sanity . I'm your host , sydney Crow , and today we have the amazing Amy Taylor . Amy Taylor is a mom , she's a social worker , she's a podcaster , she's getting her MBA . This lady wears many , many hats . I'm very , very excited for you guys to hear from her today and just listen to her journey , because she's definitely had a colorful one . So welcome Amy .
Speaker 2Thank you very much , Sydney . I'm happy to be here .
Speaker 1I am very happy that you're here , because we have a lot of similarities raising neurodivergent kiddos . We've got very , very love , love a podcast , so why don't you just tell the listeners who you are and what you're all about ?
Speaker 2Okay , I'm a single mom and one of my kids is grown and flown the coop and has his own family . And then I have my daughter , who I had at 40 . So she was my oh , my gosh , what a surprise . And so she's 13 now and she's the one who has autism . She is incredible . I could not speak highly enough of her . She's a little actress and she played Ursula in the Little Mermaid Junior this last semester how cool is that ? Yeah , for her middle school , and she did amazing , so that was great . And she's found her tribe in theater , which was wonderful . And then , as for me , I am a social worker . During the day , I am working on my MBA , like you said , at night , online , and I live with bipolar disorder , anxiety and ADHD , and I still managed to have a very full and fulfilling life .
Speaker 1That's amazing , and I'm so grateful that you're here and able to shed a little bit of light onto that . So tell , tell the listeners and tell me what is it like for you to have to navigate all of that and literally like to me , you're a superhero , mom doing it all and you've got this extra layer . So how do you navigate that ?
Speaker 2Luckily , I have an incredibly understanding manager and company that I work for Because , as you know , when you're bipolar , you have ups and downs , and so there are times when I literally feel like super mom and I can do everything and fit everything in and go to work full time and overtime even , and do my schooling and take care of my kid , and everything's going well . And then boom .
Speaker 2And that happened to me about two months ago and I had started the podcast , I had went back for my MBA all while I was high and happy , and then it hit and I got very depressed and struggled for about a month or so before I could get my meds right again , and so that was hard . I had to go to my college and ask them to give me an accommodation , to give me more time to get my homework done for that class , which they did . They were great and I was able to still get out of that class with a B plus . So I was happy . And then my employer , like I said , is just very understanding and through FMLA and working with them , I am able to take off when I need to .
Speaker 1I love that and I'm so grateful to hear that you've been able to get the support that you need really and learn how to advocate for yourself . Right , I mean , it comes down to really having that voice and knowing what you need and when you need it and being able to speak up and advocate for that . That's not an easy thing to do .
Speaker 2No , it's not , and I won't say I do it all on my own . I have a very close relationship with my parents , who only live a couple miles away , and I have some best friends that I've had for I don't even want to say how many years since I was in kindergarten , and so they will tell me . Amy , I think you took on too much and you're having a hard time now , have you ?
Speaker 2thought about calling the school and I'm like , oh , I didn't want to do that , but I will . You know that kind of thing . So part of it is having a really good circle around you that knows you well right .
Speaker 1Yeah , I mean , and blessed to have that right . Yes , very so . Tell me and the listeners a little bit . I mean being neurodivergent yourself . How is that raising a neurodivergent kiddo ?
Speaker 2It's funny . We laugh at each other all the time . Luckily she's got a good sense of humor and even if it's kind of literal , we are used to that , and so we just take a little extra time to process things sometimes between each other , and we give each other space when we need it .
Speaker 1Space is a big one . I mean I think I am undiagnosed , maybe self-diagnosed . I definitely have some ADHD tendencies the more research that I do , but space is a big one for my daughter . I can definitely say that there are moments where we're all like we're just going to take a breather , we'll just like . You know , it's kind of like when you see a bear in the woods . You just kind of got to go like , okay , got to back up a little bit and we can reevaluate down the road .
Speaker 1And I love that you have such a sense of humor about it , because the fact that your first response was it's funny , is , I mean , you really do sometimes have to make light of the situations , right ? Yes , so when it comes to being neurodivergent or raising neurodivergent , what would you say your biggest takeaways are ? Like , when you have people that are maybe listening on the other end of this , that are going through the struggles , they are , you know , really in the weeds with it , what would you say your biggest tips are for those parents , my two biggest tips are trust your gut .
Speaker 2My two biggest tips are trust your gut . If you think there's some neurodivergent tendencies or you think something's going on , get them assessed as soon as you can . If , if that assessment comes back that they're not and you still believe you're right , get a second assessment , because I had to do that with my daughter . Okay , and they and the first people that assessed her said she was too social , but she had all the other traits , they said , but she made eye contact . So I was like , oh no , that's not how it is for girls . So I had to go somewhere else and they were more up to date and up to speed on that .
Speaker 2The second thing I would say is educate yourself . Read , listen to podcasts , talk to other parents , go to other parental support groups . Find out as much as you can . I mean I found out about masking , where girls especially are prone to that , where they pretty much try to look like they're not neuro . You know diverse and so you know I didn't know that and I didn't know why my daughter was coming home all upset at the end of the day and it was because she was exhausted , yeah , from doing that .
Speaker 2And so I think , just educating yourself , so that you don't get mad when I mean things that my son did . I could say you know , nick , you need to do such and such , and he'd be like , okay and do it . Well , she doesn't do that , she has to process it , she has to decide that . It's her decision . Yeah , it's a whole ordeal . So I think once I educated myself and realized that it wasn't her trying to be obstinate , it was her just processing and doing what kids like her do , it made the world of a difference to calming me down and helping me process things .
Speaker 1Yeah , I . I wholeheartedly second what you said , because girls tend to be quite high . Functioning is what I call it , and it is . You know .
Speaker 1My daughter would just come home beat at the end of the day absolutely exhausted and not so much from masking but just trying to keep up and and putting on this like I've got this , I can do anything , and then crumbling at home , yeah , and so giving them that buffer some . My daughter sometimes she just needs like 15 minutes at home to do something in her room , whether that's reading or just playing with a few little toys or whatever . Just some quiet alone time to kind of decompress , as you said . Yes , podcasts and a good place to find information , and I feel like yours will be a really good place for people that are dealing with mental health , neurodiversity , things like that . You guys , her podcast is called Advancing with Amy . Why don't you guys , why don't you tell the listeners a bit more about it ?
Speaker 2I just started it in the middle of January and I just felt very drawn to it and like I needed to spread the word that you could live a fulfilling life even if you had a mental health diagnosis or you were neurodiverse , and so I started talking on my podcast to mainly women , but there's been some men talking to them about their lived experience and talking to professionals about how they can help my listeners , and so it's it's .
Speaker 1I've learned something every single time I have a guest on I love it , amazing , and I mean , and that's what this is all about , right , it's a spreading awareness , raising awareness . I mean , there's so many things that I've learned over the last year and a half , like through my daughter's diagnosis , that I didn't even know was really a thing , and that's why I'll say like self-diagnosed or undiagnosed , because I've always been very high functioning , but like all over the place at the same time .
Speaker 2Yeah , and that's one of the great things is in the neurodiverse community you can self-diagnose . That's totally acceptable .
Speaker 1Which is , yeah , I think it's amazing that we can raise awareness because there has been I want to say I'll say it as a stigma around mental health , around neurodiversity , around medication , different treatments , and I think it's just important we don't all fit in a box . There isn't a one size fits all for people , and so raising awareness , getting specialists on that can talk about different things that they're working with or seeing in the industry , having personal experiences , saying like , hey , I tried this , it didn't work for me , but it worked for you know my neighbor down the street , and so just having those conversations and bringing this to the forefront , kudos to you and I appreciate you for doing that . If there was one last piece of advice for the parents out there or someone living with neurodiversity or mental health issues , what would that be ?
Speaker 2It would be love yourself , be kind to yourself and understand . You are who you are for a reason .
Speaker 1Beautiful words .
Speaker 2Really beautiful .
Speaker 1Those hit home , amy . Well , thank you so much for being here . You guys , we're going to make sure that we have her show link in the show notes . Make sure to check that out . And thank you , guys for tuning into today's episode where we help you conquer the chaos , one day at a time .