Finding Your Balance: Life Lessons to Prevent Over-40 Burnout

Unlock the secrets to self-care and learn how to sidestep the snares of burnout with Nancy Zitlin, an esteemed health coach who joins me, Deetra Korsi, on a transformative journey tailor-made for women over 40. Nancy shares her holistic approach to wellness, weaving through the intricacies of nurturing not just the body, but also the mind and social bonds that keep us thriving. Our candid conversation peels back the layers of guilt often felt when investing in personal health, and we uncover the profound 'oxygen mask' principle: caring for oneself is paramount to caring for others. As we traverse the landscape of Nancy's experiences, we bring to light the personal trials that have shaped Get Fit Methods and our mission to empower through health and fitness.

Step into a space where incremental changes pave the path to resilience. This episode serves a platter of pragmatic self-care strategies for the middle-aged, focusing on simplicity and the subtle art of listening to the body's cues. From the cathartic practice of journaling to the mindful art of savoring each bite, we stitch together a tapestry of tips that champion the mantra, "My health is my great strength. My body knows how to heal itself." Embrace Nancy's 'deep forcy' philosophy and our uncomplicated 'get fit methods' as we commit to releasing this empowering content bi-weekly. The encouragement doesn't end here; join us every second Sunday for a dose of motivation and guidance on your personal health journey.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:13

So welcome everyone. This is Deetra Korsi, with Get Fit Methods. Our slogan is Less is More to Get Fit Fast. Today I have my friend for a long time, been knowing her for quite a while and she is a holding sick health coach. Welcome everyone, nancy Zitlin.

Speaker 2: 0:32

Thank you, deetra. I so appreciate you inviting me in on this conversation we are going. I will tell you a little bit about myself, and that is I started in this 10 years ago and a friend of mine was going through this certification and she invited me in to coach me for six months and I found out a lot about myself that I hadn't known For all the years. I believed I was working on myself and really being in a healthy place. I was not, and until we began to unfold my story did we really find out that I had had some underlying gut issues and I was eating foods that were not working for me, and I got really excited about it and decided to go get this certification. And so I've been doing one-on-one coaching and I do some women's groups and speaking engagements, and today you gave me a little assignment of talking about self-care, which is a big buzzword here.

Speaker 1: 1:40

Right, right, so let's start from there then. So, based on self-care why do you think that's such a big thing for women in that 40 plus range and is such a necessary buzzword and things that people think is very important in this particular time in their life, why you think that is?

Speaker 2: 1:59

Well, first of all, I really believe that we are all so much more aware today Even the studio that you have, in particular this boutique studio, to have one-on-one coaching sessions to really hone in we didn't have those kind of places years ago and there wasn't a space for that.

Speaker 2: 2:23

Physical activity is just one place. I believe that we get our self-care, but self-care comes in all shapes and sizes and I believe for women today who have been basically suffering in silence and it can't be sustainable for the rest of our lives, there are women who are full-time working moms, who come home, who have children, and they are 24-7 and you can't keep that up. So eventually we hit the wall. So I really think that there's so many places to get help today, and when I say help I mean self-care can be connecting with our girlfriends and making sure we get a coffee in or a glass of wine or to meet with friends outside of the house to carve that time out for ourselves. So I think that's why it's the buzzword and I'm really grateful it's a buzzword because it wasn't when my mother was raising me at all.

Speaker 1: 3:40

Right. I find that social part of it is very important too when it comes to self-care. Besides taking care of yourself, that's kind of taking care of yourself too. Just meeting friends or someone that you care about, cares about you, that's kind of self-care too. It's not just about you. Know, I'm going to the spa, or maybe I'm going to the spa with a friend or something like that, or I'm going to play some kind of sport with a friend, but it's just that time that you have for yourself, maybe for someone else or even by yourself, right.

Speaker 2: 4:11

Very much so. One of my earliest clients said until she started working with me she really believed having a manicure with self-care. Well, it's so, so much bigger than that. And even sitting down in On your couch and walk in and reading a book and spending a half hour of quiet time for yourself like that hasn't. There have been so many hundreds of years of women not doing that and I really do believe the Exhaustion that happens with women because they are multitasking all day long. Just, you know, as I said, it's not sustainable. It will affect the relationships in our lives.

Speaker 1: 4:58

Sure, sure you know. And then. So the other topic was the question was you know about when it comes to the guilt around? You know spending money on yourself, right, and we all kind of have that opposed to. You know this is investment in myself. What are your thoughts on that when it comes to those kind of things?

Speaker 2: 5:20

I don't really know where that came from either, right. Okay and that really honestly, that is such an age-old problem and I don't. You know when women are making sure that everybody else is taken care of, and they're doing. And you know when somebody gets sick. They're cooking the meal and they're bringing it over to their friend's house or their family and they're holding everybody else up and I just there has to be like a stop point of why not me first?

Speaker 1: 5:58

sure, sure, absolutely and.

Speaker 2: 6:01

I also believe that Women notoriously have not been great at asking for what they need. Right so if they say to their partners I, I need a night off here, I need to go, but they're Without guilt. Right right because it's it's so important to be able to step away and to be able to fill yourself up again. So, you can come back and do it again tomorrow right, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 6:38

So, yeah, I was gonna just say you know the the old saying of you need to put the Oxygen mask off on first right and then take care of everybody else. I really didn't understand that until I started coaching ten years ago. I was like, what do you mean? Of course I'm gonna put this on my child first. And they're like no, because you first and then you can take care of everybody else. So imagine if day in and day out you are just giving, giving, giving and not Taking. That time it's it will break you sure, the absolutely.

Speaker 1: 7:15

And you know that, like a lot people know. So, the reason why I started this channel, or even started this skip it methods, was due to my, my mother, who passed away from the King a couple years ago. So I remember having a conversation with her and, trust me, she was an angel, right, we took care of everybody for sure, to to to the umpteen grade, like, even as a older man, she would still try to send me money, right, probably didn't have the money, I'm sure she didn't, but it was just that, that I obligation to you know, just give more of herself. And I remember having that conversation we were prior to her passing away like you know, if you could have changed anything about the situation or we go anywhere there anything differently. And her answer was you know, well, that was the hand I was dealt. So this is what I do, what was I'm gonna do?

Speaker 1: 8:05

I didn't particularly like that answer because I'm thinking okay, I think that you know you should have some kind of reward because at hand you're dealt to do something more for yourself. That's that's why I feel about it, so that's why I started this whole thing. So, and I noticed all the clients that I've trained all the women that trained the. The thing is almost the same. It's like you know, I give to my husband, I give to my family all that stuff and you know I come second. But then along with that comes like this whole guilt of you know doing for themselves, this whole guilt of Giving more and and less for myself. Whatever I got where the left, that's me right, and I think Resentment sometimes comes along with that as well, because you're not fulfilling your Purpose of taking care of yourself.

Speaker 2: 8:57

It's a trickle-down effect. Something's going to give and with all of that you just said, and resentment begins to build. There becomes such tension in the home and all the things that you used to love that filled you up now piss you off.

Speaker 2: 9:17

Right that now, like cooking a beautiful meal for your family and doing all the things that you do around the house to keep everybody afloat, starts to chip away at you. So it is a trickle-down effect and I have always said this with my clients that if you are not caring for yourself first, I promise you that everybody else in the family is going to feel it, and generally it's your partner first, or your significant other, whoever he or she is, and I think so. When you talk about guilt connected to that, it just makes no sense that you're going to feel guilty for making sure you're cared for and, honestly, if you don't like, everything begins to tumble down.

Speaker 1: 10:19

Right for sure. Now I kind of ordered by my question, but you have it there, Sorry. What was the next one that was supposed to answer? I totally forgot what it was.

Speaker 2: 10:30

Well, you asked about what are some of the early signs of fatigue or burnout. Yes, Right, I generally I would say watch your sleep patterns.

Speaker 1: 10:43

Sleep.

Speaker 2: 10:44

yes, Are you up stressing all night and thinking about all the things? Is your energy shifting during the day? Are you exhausted? Burnout happens very slowly and one day you can't move and that day could end up in the hospital. You could end up in the doctor's office. You could now have high blood pressure. Stress is wrecking your gut. There are so many things if you pay attention. I always say listen to your gut, because your gut has all the answers.

Speaker 1: 11:31

Uh-huh, very true.

Speaker 2: 11:33

But it's really making sure you trust your gut and listen in, because those signs are our bodies know. First they are. It's like an alarm going off. You know, when people come to you and they've got pain all over their body and then they start to work with you and the pain starts to dissipate, is because you're putting attention on their body again. Uh-huh Right.

Speaker 1: 11:59

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 12:00

So, and that's the work that I do is you know why should we live with? You know, stomach issues all our life? One of my issues I lived with for 35 years Without knowing I had a gluten intolerance. My gut was messed up for so long and I just didn't pay attention to it enough that I finally worked with a health coach because doctors would give me a pill or they would tell me to drink some powdered drink or whatever, but the fact is, a lot of it had to do with stress.

Speaker 1: 12:36

Sure, sure, yeah, you know so. So nothing would stress too, and I'm not sure what. You was kind of related to this. But one thing I noticed that was stress and this is one of my cases that I was eating. I eat very fast Because you know like I'm already in a rush, right, and it's been that way for many years because I've always worked many jobs that we, you know, like we work for anything where, like, a job was like nine to five, you got a certain lunch break or time lunch break, and that's not long.

Speaker 1: 13:08

By the time you get to the break it's almost time to come back. So now you're shoving food down your throat, right. That way you get a chance to eat and then you go back to work. So that timeframe forces you to kind of get in that mindset of always in a rush to eat, right. So I've been doing it for a long time Now, as I got older, starting to notice these kind of things come up with just kind of bell ching and all this kind of stuff where I got to figure out or be more mindful that I got to eat slower, right.

Speaker 2: 13:38

It's and to be able to give yourself that time. I know people who don't stop for lunch. These are people who work out of their houses. They are all in at their computer all day long and they get to four o'clock and they're like oh my God, I haven't eaten.

Speaker 1: 13:57

Right.

Speaker 2: 13:57

I forgot to eat. Of course, I could never do that. I wouldn't forget to eat. But and many of us have bodies that would say, oh, it's time You've got to stop but I have clients who are literally putting on their calendar a lunch break, because if it's not in your calendar, it's probably not going to happen.

Speaker 1: 14:20

Sure.

Speaker 2: 14:22

And because that is just another one of those places that's nourishing your body. You can't go on fumes all day, you cannot drive on an empty tank. You cannot do your best work when you are depleted. You could easily be dehydrated, which is another really big topic we could get on to, but I am such a believer in water and I believe that there are so many people walking around who are so close to dehydration and that's an energy suck. That will absolutely deplete you.

Speaker 1: 15:00

Yeah. So, Nancy, even though it's been quite a while, remember all your experience in this neighborhood of self-care and health and all kinds of stuff and wellness. What would be a thing you would recommend that would help? One thing you recommend that would probably help the listeners out there who are that middle-aged group of how to take care of themselves better.

Speaker 2: 15:25

Well, and your question was what's small thing?

Speaker 1: 15:29

Sure, would you?

Speaker 2: 15:31

Right. So my answer that always is you have to start slow baby steps. When I'm working with somebody, I am not throwing them into a whole new way of living or a whole new way of eating working out. If I said to a client okay, five days a week, you're at Dietrich's gym for an hour every day. They'd fire me right then and there.

Speaker 1: 16:04

They would.

Speaker 2: 16:04

Sure, I hate you know, they'd say first, they'd say I hate exercise and I would be like, well, okay, but you got to do it five days a week or else you're not going to get the results. Well, that's like you giving somebody you know 500 pound weights to put on the date and get there.

Speaker 1: 16:18

Sure, sure, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 16:22

I think it's just really important to take a little time for yourself. And if I said, start with 15 minutes of journaling every day, because you know, and I know people have heard about journaling and meditating and all of those things, the reason I believe in journaling so much is so much of the stress that we have lives in our head Right Right, and that laundry list of what to do and what I need to do and what I need to accomplish. And I know that when I'm feeling wound up and I wake up in the middle of the night, I mean I am telling you I might as well get up and do those things, because that energy is just running through me.

Speaker 1: 17:11

Gotcha.

Speaker 2: 17:12

And you sit down to a journal and you are allowed to just freely write. No one is going to see this. I would suggest that when you sit down with your coffee or your tea in a quiet space, that you allow yourself to just dump and it really does alleviate some of that anxiety and that those stressors that you just carry around in your body. And there's so many people who don't work out, and I think working out not only is physically good but mentally is one of the best things we can do to get that energy out.

Speaker 1: 17:54

Sure yeah.

Speaker 2: 17:56

When I get wound up. I'm a big walker but I make sure I get out there. I breathe fresh air. So I don't have the answer, because everybody needs to do what works for them, but I would say everybody has a pen and a paper and a pen. Let's start there.

Speaker 1: 18:19

Gotcha Nice. I think there's one more question that I have.

Speaker 2: 18:22

You did. I'm listening in to your body and taking care of yourself now before something tragic happens.

Speaker 1: 18:34

Sure, absolutely. Yeah, I mean the signs are usually there anyway and sometimes, like you said, like almost like stress, they say you know, high blood pressure is almost like the solid killer. Well, stress is it relates to that as well. They're kind of just like cousins or close cousins, right, those small signs do kind of get in your gut or in your chest, or breathing or not sleeping. Well, there's all signs that it's time to take care of yourself a little bit better. The hydration is key as well, as you mentioned. And the journaling thing. I'm not big on journaling but I have journal before, but I'm not big on that. But I can see how that mind dumping process definitely is kind of release of everything got going inside that brain of yours Just constantly thinking. You know I don't have any thoughts today, but a lot, so just get rid of those thoughts.

Speaker 2: 19:27

And that mindful eating. Like you said, you're a fast eater.

Speaker 2: 19:32

Many of my clients are, and if you sit down and you just acknowledge the food in front of you and you just take a breath, you know, just take a breath and really acknowledge what is in front of you, what you might have cooked or what somebody cooked for you, and really taste what you are eating. You know when people you know are on the run from appointment to appointment and they're eating a sandwich or eating something in the car and they get there A they don't even remember how they drove there.

Speaker 2: 20:03

They're mindless and what they ate, and because of that we tend to eat more. Because we've eaten so fast you haven't given yourself time to even metabolize it, so you never you don't get that like filled up feeling. So what ends up happening is you overeat. I'm not saying you, but you overeat because you just need to get to that space of OK, now I've had enough. But you might have eaten twice as much as you needed to if you could slow it down a little.

Speaker 1: 20:40

Some people call that fast.

Speaker 2: 20:43

That's just not eating at all Right.

Speaker 1: 20:49

Or fasting all together.

Speaker 2: 20:50

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 20:51

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 20:53

It's listen. I think that this is it's such a good topic. I'm so about this and this is so the work that I do with my clients, and I want women to get to a space in their lives where they know they don't have a choice but to to make sure that they get this time for themselves. You know they, you know I always say if you heard a friend of yours talking about her stress level and all of this, would you not want to coach her on like, oh my God, you got to slow down Right, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 21:30

Of course for everybody else, for everybody else right, but not for yourself, right, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 21:39

So I know you have something you want to offer the listeners. You can go ahead and just kind of give them the information. How can they, as you get access to you?

Speaker 2: 21:50

So they can find me at Nancy's Zitlandcom and you can. Everybody who's listening can go and find a time for a complimentary session. I'm open to conversation. Let's begin a conversation and let's see where it goes, and I'm on Instagram and the holistic nutrition and LinkedIn. I'm I'm here to help. I feel so passionate about the work that I do. I just know, especially the world that we've been living in with COVID for so many years and so many people losing their lives, that there's nothing more important than our health right now, and we are in charge of that. Nobody else can do that for us, no doubt, but Nancy, thank you for that.

Speaker 1: 22:39

So you know, there's, there's a, there's a. One thing that one of my coaches would have have us do. This kind of mantra I use it from time to time. It goes my health is my great strength. My body knows how to heal itself. Oh, so you got that.

Speaker 2: 22:54

And thank you Nancy. So this is deep forcy.

Speaker 1: 22:59

We get fit methods. Less is more to get fit fast. We will have this posted up on our social media and find Nancy as well. We do this. We're going to start doing it every every second Sunday, so we'll release it every second Sunday, so yeah, so stay tuned. I thank you again, nancy, for being part of a podcast. Thank you, yes, talk soon, absolutely, this is wonderful, all right, bye.

Speaker 2: 23:27

Bye, bye, bye.