In a captivating conversation with Octavia Red, her transformative journey unfolds like the pages of a book, resonating deeply with those who seek solace in personal metamorphosis. From a tomboy youth to a woman empowered by embracing femininity, Octavia shares the joy of self-expression through style and reveals how literature shaped her life. Her candid insights into the adult industry highlight the convergence of financial necessity, artistic expression, and personal fulfillment, navigating a liberating journey away from pandemic uncertainties. The discussion delves into the complexities of sex work, emphasizing the adult entertainment world as a space for joy, community, and self-discovery. Octavia's reflections on sexual health, consent, and communication underscore the importance of balance, education, and authenticity.
Octavia Red Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/x.redclouds/
Bree Mills Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebreemills/
Podcast Links: https://linktr.ee/TheADULTTIMEPodcast
In a captivating conversation with Octavia Red, her transformative journey unfolds like the pages of a book, resonating deeply with those who seek solace in personal metamorphosis. From a tomboy youth to a woman empowered by embracing femininity, Octavia shares the joy of self-expression through style and reveals how literature shaped her life. Her candid insights into the adult industry highlight the convergence of financial necessity, artistic expression, and personal fulfillment, navigating a liberating journey away from pandemic uncertainties. The discussion delves into the complexities of sex work, emphasizing the adult entertainment world as a space for joy, community, and self-discovery. Octavia's reflections on sexual health, consent, and communication underscore the importance of balance, education, and authenticity.
Octavia Red Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/x.redclouds/
Bree Mills Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebreemills/
Podcast Links: https://linktr.ee/TheADULTTIMEPodcast
This episode is brought to you by our sponsors at Adult Time, the ultimate subscription platform for premium adult content, with over 55,000 episodes, 300 channels and new releases every single day. It's everything you'd want in one place, and you can use promo code BRYMILLS that's B-R-E-E-M-I-L-L-S to try a free week on us Assuming you are 18 plus, of course and you can discover how we do porn differently. Hi, my name is Brie Mills and I am a porn director with a purpose. Now, throughout my career, I have covered just about every niche and I've created some award-winning films and brands along the way, but now I'm much more interested in getting to know the real people behind my characters, and that's because I believe adult entertainers can be some of the most powerful role models when it comes to sex, ed, consent, empowerment and wellness. By asking the right questions, our community can really help people better understand themselves. So that's the mission of this podcast.
Speaker 1:Let's get up close. Well, hi, octavia. Hello, welcome to the Get Up Close podcast. Thank you so much for being here, thank you for having me, thank you so much for being part of this project. Absolutely, the whole goal is to get to know, you know, the women of our industry in a new light in an authentic light, in a way that sort of strips away all the performance and allows people to be themselves and to let us get to know them. So I'm really excited. This is the first time we actually are sitting down face-to-face and talking. This is super fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm going to do an icebreaker. That's going to put you on the spot. Okay, tell me one fun fact about yourself.
Speaker 2:I feel like, no matter how many times somebody asks you, that you never know what to say. Fuck, I was a tomboy as a kid, did not know how to do makeup until I got in the industry.
Speaker 1:That is a subject that we could talk about for the entire conversation, but let's because, tomboy to tomboy, I'd love to hear so kind of what was your style, what was your tomboy style growing up?
Speaker 2:You know it's completely different than what I am now, because I used to wear like well, I mean, besides, right now, I used to wear all black. I never owned a pink thing. I was always dyeing my hair red or black. I had a faux-hawk at one point, shaved my head at one point. I was a very emo punk kid up in Northern California. You know it's very like rock and roll.
Speaker 1:And so how did that? Why did that appeal to you? How did you kind of discover that as being the way you wanted to present yourself from an early age?
Speaker 2:I think, because I'm the youngest of a lot of sisters and we're all very feminine and I didn't really relate to it very much. So I think I fell into more of that tomboy in between, where I wanted to go roll around in the dirt and sword, fight my brother and climb trees and read books and I just never. I never wore nail polish. I had no interest in any of it. That kind of developed later as I've gotten older.
Speaker 2:I would say kind of in my early 20s and late teens is when I started getting more into the more beautifying matters I suppose.
Speaker 1:So it sounds like your upbringing had, you know you had like a lot of a big family, huge, and that you were the youngest. You mentioned a lot of sisters, yes, so, tell me about your upbringing.
Speaker 2:I have eight sisters and two brothers. Wow, I have three step siblings but I only grew up with four of them. So three sisters and one brother. We moved around a lot Construction kids, so we always went where the work was and home school. So we were always the five kids just creating havoc. Yeah, so you know the dynamic that creates.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so do you think that, like kind of your how you presented yourself was, in a way, to kind of stand out against the competition of all your siblings?
Speaker 2:I think it was honestly a shield. You know, I went through a lot of abuse as a kid and I think that was my way to, you know, be like I'm tough and I'm strong. You know like, don't mess with me because I have this hard ulterior. So I think that's really where it stems from.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, and you need to sometimes, especially when you're younger, right Like the only outlet you have is how you present yourself. Right, Absolutely Putting on that really tough shell.
Speaker 2:Like that's the only thing you really have control of when you are a kid in that kind of dynamic anyways, and you try to use the little things you have control to survive. I think that creates that shell.
Speaker 1:And you mentioned that you know, as you got older and became, you know, kind of an independent adult, that you started to let that shell down a little bit and explore, you know, some other ways of expressing yourself. Tell me a little bit about that shift and you know what kind of led you to start to. You know, paint your nails and express yourself in a bit more of a feminine presenting way.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I think we all know that being feminine kind of brings a more soft, sensitive side, you know.
Speaker 2:I think we can all say that. And when you come out of a place of survival and you get to a place where you can start to shed that shell and become more sensitive, more receptive and even expressing more, I think that's when I started to get softer, started painting my nails, started buying pink things, started actually crying. I can't watch like super violent movies anymore. Before I could watch them, didn't care, but now I'm like no, I can't, it's going to be in my head all day. Yeah, I think it comes from being in a safe place, to where you can embrace your femininity and express that.
Speaker 1:And feel confident to do that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1:When did your, where did, where were the origins of your confidence? When did you start to sort of find that within yourself?
Speaker 2:You know, I don't know. I think it came more with knowing that life is short and, if I'm going to enjoy it, that I need to take these steps. Otherwise, I'm going to be stuck being this depressed kid living in the past and I'm never going to move forward.
Speaker 1:I think that's really where it came from yeah and within that you know kind of journey to, to let you let that shell down and discover yourself and feel that confidence. How did your own sort of sense of sexuality and sexual identity emerge from that, because it's obviously such a huge component of you know, all of our lives.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so funny enough. I will not really funny enough, but I grew up in a very Christian household so sexuality was very frowned upon. It was you're going to go to hell if you're gay. I remember my mom reaching over to check my purity ring one time, that kind of stuff, and it represses like oh, like I'm just a vessel for a guy to get pleasure, and that's very much in that culture. And it takes breaking away from that and being like, oh okay, like that's not what I want to be a part of.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm finding pleasure on my own you know masturbating and self exploration, and then you start to break those walls down, will becoming more receptive to being feminine or sensitive sides, as you will, and then you start to explore what you like and what you're into, and that's how I started doing like Boudoir modeling, and then I decided to get into porn to help me learn actually about my sexuality. Yeah, so this has actually been. This whole process isn't about me being confident in my sexuality or knowing what I like. This has been me exploring and discovering what I like. That's amazing. So that's what porn has done for me, which is really cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, okay, there's like there's a lot. There's a lot of follow up questions I have. This is really fascinating, I think. Just to go back for a moment, obviously there was a lot of, you know, a lot of influence within your home and your upbringing that kind of played a role in that needing to harden up and to sort of break free from Absolutely. How did you find, also growing up especially in the Christian background, that you grew up in the influence of outside media or pop culture? Was that something that was also like kind of completely kept out of your life or Absolutely?
Speaker 2:yeah, which is kind of a profound thing. It's kind of like a backhanded it was great but also backhanded. So I didn't grow up with TV and I didn't grow up with the radio. I only listened to Christian music CDs the only time we left the house with a grocery store or going to church and I was homeschooled till like seventh, sixth grade.
Speaker 2:So I was very isolated, very reclused, but I read a lot of books and I watched a lot of old Western movies and I was always like enthralled by the burlesque girls and the little Western slum, you know girls, and I just loved them and I knew there's that part of me that was like I love that look, I love the sensuality, I love the burlesque and I think that comes out in my fashion and my statements. That kind of influenced me. But I think that was the only thing really coming in. Other than books.
Speaker 2:I read a lot of books and there's a lot of hidden romance and sensuality through books that you can get and I think that adds a depth to it.
Speaker 1:Okay, once, I'm a huge book nerd. What's the book you could reread over and over again?
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, okay, I love fantasy, adventure fantasy and I could reread the Ranger Apprentice series, all of those like. Ah, I love like Lord of the Rings kind of type books. I don't know, they're cool to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean I do have a Lord of the Rings tattoo. Yes, yes, I will out myself for that. Yes, I love.
Speaker 2:Lord of the Rings, I am no matter.
Speaker 1:Well, and it's very. There's a ton of sexuality, like you were saying, hidden sexuality and sensuality within books, right? And it sparks the imagination it does, which is oftentimes far more erotic than anything that you would see, especially mainstream media.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I mean, I read so much Littorotica I do that more than I watch porn. And then when I watched porn, I can't really find them now, but when I did start watching porn it would be sex scenes from movies. That was what would do it for me.
Speaker 1:But, at the same point, if you hadn't watched any of those movies right, it's the first time seeing them and the rest of the sex scene, it still was probably pretty, pretty risqué, Exactly, yeah. And then you watch a hardcore porn and you're like whoa okay.
Speaker 1:Completely out of left field. So you mentioned that, like the journey into sex work was really part of your personal sort of sexual awakening and journey in as one that's very much still ongoing. Yeah, how did you make your way into the industry? Can you tell us a little bit about kind of how you ended up to the place you are now?
Speaker 2:I feel like I have the most stereotypical story. To be honest, I was working minimum wage jobs. Covid hit, I lost my job. So I had all this free time and I'm very artistic. I've always been into modeling lingerie modeling specifically so I started hitting up photographers, taking some of my own selfies and doing Boudoir modeling. I actually had never done any like content hardcore things before I was approached by an agent. At the time. It was when world modeling was around and it piqued my interest, and so I kind of sat on that for a year. I was like do I want to do it? Do I not want to do it? Do I want to do it? You know?
Speaker 2:because with my family background, being important is such like are you sure? And so I didn't do it for a year. Then I was like, okay, I'm just going to do it. I did two scenes and then I left for a year again and I was working on a cannabis farm. Then I went back to this casino I was working at, just dropped tons of weight. It was super unhealthy, just very unhappy and I was like I got to go back to the time that was what was making me happy was doing that. That's why I came back.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then we're very happy that you're back. So you've been absolutely amazing in the projects that we've done with you so far. What was that sort of early experience in the industry like for you? Because you mentioned, you kind of came in, you shot a little bit, then you took a break and obviously it was something to get used to and to kind of process for yourself. What did you learn from that?
Speaker 2:Oh, like the first three scenes. Yeah yeah, I learned how to douche for the first time. Yeah. You know, I learned that it was not as exciting and ducing as I thought it was going to be for me. I thought I was going to choke.
Speaker 2:I thought I was going to have to walk away and end up being one of the most exciting and fun things that I've been a part of, and it's not at all how we portray it to be like on media or what everyone tells you about. Even I hate to say this maybe I'll get in trouble for this but even the way that some performers make it out to be in such a negative light sometimes it's not like that at all.
Speaker 2:Maybe, that's just my personal experience and I know everyone's different, but I have met so many beautiful people that have made such a great community that I have a hard time seeing it and that kind of light. Of course there's going to be predators around every corner. You know every kitchen you work at there's going to be someone that harasses you in every industry. And not to diminish that, but I don't want that to take away from the beauty that is in the industry. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, you're very, very right in the sense that some of the most intelligent and compassionate and interesting people I've ever met have been the people that I've met within this industry Absolutely, and we are a bit of an island of misfits in a sense, but in the best way, because that's he brings the most interesting people and for you, the sort of fact that I wonder if the idea of going and shooting that scene was also a way to really continue to kind of break from those rigid conventions that you had been placed upon you growing up, and so there's probably a thrill in that as well, right, there, definitely was.
Speaker 2:It definitely broke, kind of like that cage in my head almost. Yeah, definitely, and I feel like there's more cages every time I break, when there's another one I got to break and another one I got to break, another one I got to break, but it's been helping me get through that, yeah.
Speaker 1:What was your relationship with sex and sexuality, like you know, before you got into sex work, so you had mentioned a fascination early on with I love it the burlesque answers of the westerns, the only films you're allowed to watch amazing.
Speaker 1:And you know I totally get it. But what you know, when we sort of think back on your early sexual expiration, the first time you masturbated, the first time you had an orgasm like especially where you are now, when you look back on that point in your life, you know what were some of those early moments like.
Speaker 2:Like early moments of orgasming and having that? Yeah, you know, I'm gonna be honest, I have been masturbating for so long I don't really remember the first time. Yeah, yeah, I was always, always that kid, you know. So I don't know if I can really give you an answer to that. Yeah, well, I mean it is an answer.
Speaker 1:It was always part of you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was always part of me, yeah.
Speaker 1:Did you feel, were you aware of, you know, oh, this is wrong, Like did you feel that shame because of the upbringing, or it was always something that to you was quite natural and you know you did, despite the pressures that may have come from, you know, from the surroundings you were in.
Speaker 2:You know, it's actually very interesting. You bring that up because I never thought about this. We always devalize sex, but we were so hush-hush, like don't talk about anything sexual. I don't think we ever really talked about masturbation in particular. It was more just don't be sexual, just don't do anything. So I don't even know. When I first started I knew what I was doing. Yeah, until.
Speaker 2:I got older and started learning like oh, that's what sex is, that's what masturbation is, that's what a penis is. Yeah, oh, that's what a vagina does. Like I learned what sex was through a movie. I never had the birds and bees conversation.
Speaker 1:What movie I have to ask? Was it Western?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, it was actually like one of the sweetest. Like no, was it a West Irish? It was actually like one of the like most heartbreaking sweetest movies about like this kid that has cancer, and like she goes to class and learns what sex is and then she's upset and goes and talks to her parents I can't remember what movie. It's really sad, though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it despite the sadness it was educational, it was educational and I learned, and then I was like what? And then I got even hornier and masturbated. Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1:Well, in a way it would be kind of like, I guess growing up it was like a free pass, because you didn't know that it fell into that. You know the quote-unquote sinful category, did not know, yeah.
Speaker 2:There is always that inherit like I got to hide it, though For some reason you always know you got to hide it yeah.
Speaker 1:So, what's if you could share. And it doesn't have to be embarrassing, oh no, it can also be like very, very Impactful. But what was a memorable moment that you can think of that you've had During sex, either in private or in front of the camera?
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, Like in like most impactful moment, yeah you could take it in whatever direction you want.
Speaker 1:Oh God, this can be a really like important, beautiful moment of the interview, or it can be a really funny.
Speaker 2:God, it's always yep, another blank. Um, I will say one of the funnest Scenes that I have done and it was very new for me it was my bifuria scene, and I do watch a lot of gay porn. I love seeing man-on-man action, so getting to be a part of it and seeing it up close was just like Fantasy fulfilled fantasy fulfilled. That was like a huge moment for me. We like Love it.
Speaker 1:We have to talk about the man-on-man action for a moment, because you're not the first person that I have heard this from. What are the origins of your interest in watching men together?
Speaker 2:I think that comes with learning what gay sex was for the first time and. Feeling like such a masculine tomboy. At the time when I learned Mm-hmm, I Was just really enthralled by it. I don't know, like I just love seeing, like I think there's something beautiful about masculinity. So saying, two hot guys going at it. Mm-hmm. I love that. Um, I Just would love to be a fly on the wall for that all the time.
Speaker 1:So it's sort of like your. Your greatest sexual influences are two hot guys going at it and some burlesque dancers In a saloon.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's Octavia. Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1:I love it. So how do you prioritize, now that you know you've been working in sex work for a number of years and also have had your own you know Development and journey in your adult life? How do you prioritize sexual health and what have you learned about sexual health and well-being that you would share with others?
Speaker 2:Um, learning how to balance it is like the biggest thing, especially being a sex worker. I think your sexual health is going to be a little different than everybody like an everyday person and balancing it as a sex worker, being like okay, this is how much sex I'm having for work.
Speaker 2:And then this is what I'm doing in my personal life and what I want to do and what I'm into, and it's just about balancing it.
Speaker 2:Because I had when I had months where I was doing too many scenes, I didn't want to have sex at all with my partner, and they suffer from that.
Speaker 2:And then it kind of creates this pressure on you being like, oh my God, like I have to go to work and have sex, I have to come home and have sex, like can I just like be a turtle and live in my shell for a minute. I'm still learning how to balance that. Personally, it's still very hard for me to want to have sex off of the camera and I think maybe my kink is having sex on camera, which makes it even harder to want to have sex off a camera. So it might not be the best person to ask that question for, but I think balancing it is really the key foundation. And knowing what works for you because what works for me is not going to necessarily work for you and being receptive of learning how to balance it, learning to say no to a shoe or saying no to going out on that date or whatever. It's just making that balance for your own mental piece is what's really important.
Speaker 1:Well, and the fact that you have been so candid and sharing that sex work has been a really instrumental part of your own sense of discovering yourself right and a way, too, that creates perception about what sex is, because for you, that journey is living within the work. It is yeah and yeah. So finding it's a question that I often ask and I certainly have reflected on it myself. I'm not a performer in the industry, but obviously I'm in the industry. My partner was a performer in the industry and is still an active on her own platform. So, yeah, it's like learning. It's learning about like how to have sex on camera and off camera and that they're not the same thing, but it can really get in your head.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is really that cross wire and I think the hard part for me is like sex has kind of always been a performance. I tend to find the most enjoyment with masturbating, but when I am with a partner I find the most enjoyment getting them off and performing for them and doing that and that can also create that disconnect or it's like. I mean like I want to have sex with you, but this is just a performance for me. It's not an enjoyment for me unless you're enjoying. Oh, it's a weird thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a weird thing, it's a complicated thing and you think that, oh well, they have sex all the time, therefore it must be easy, right, right. And then oftentimes it's like no, it becomes really complicated because sex is all of a sudden not just something that's personal, it's also this thing, that's this identity publicly, and all that stuff.
Speaker 2:And then sometimes I think you create such a disconnect with it that you're like, wait, sex is supposed to be personal again.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, it can create that disconnect Absolutely, but I guess sex is really what you make it out to be and what you need it to be for yourself. Yeah, and that's sort of the true sexual expression.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's such a personal thing. I mean, we all have different kinks and different wants and needs. It's so personal, so personal.
Speaker 1:So if you were going to be a sex ed teacher, oh God, okay, you're going to be a sex ed teacher for a day. You had one lesson to give and your audience was the world. You had a big class. What would you say like? What would you teach in that lesson? What do you think people you know more than anything else as a baseline for sex education should be learning these days?
Speaker 2:Don't take it so serious. Like can, yes, be consent, have consent and all of that. Definitely that is a serious matter. You know, have consent. I like to share earlier so I can send sexy. I like that. But also don't take it so serious. Like, don't be so hard on yourself. Sex is supposed to be fun and I know for me, when I first, you know, was discovering sexuality in my teen years, I took it so serious that I have to be good at this, I have to be this, I have to perform well, whatever it's, just have fun. Just have fun. Say what you want. Say what you need. There's another weirdo out there for you that wants to give it to you or wants it as well, and just have fun with it.
Speaker 1:How is your relationship with consent evolved over time and what? How do you bring it into you, especially into your own?
Speaker 2:you know personal life these days um, I Think, can say I was just so straightforward, I don't really see there being an evolution to it and then yeses, yes and no is no. Maybe he's like I'll try it, but I might say no at the end. You know, um, I just think consent is straightforward, as much as that, um. But I think, as a woman, sometimes we give confusing signals Because we are shy or we don't want to disappoint, or we're scared and we don't want to say no when something happens. And that for me, because I'm a very anxious people pleaser has been a process of me to learn to say no instead of saying like um, maybe, maybe another time, or I guess, or whatever, because men don't have the same experiences us.
Speaker 2:They Don't necessarily not every guy, but don't necessarily know what it's like to be on a spot like that, to Feel like that. So they're not necessarily gonna know that you're trying to say no, it's not. They might not all be trying to be an asshole or taking advantage of you. Yes, yes, they will, some will, but not all of them will. They just don't understand that you are, um, trying to say no.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's like this, or two sides of of it right of a coin.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and I try to get in the head of everyone to understand, because understanding for me is like how I accept things. So if I can be like, okay, I'm in his shoes, would I be confused if I heard that? No, I wouldn't, because as a girl I know that, but that is my experience as a female. I don't know. I think it's very complicated. Oh, it's so complicated.
Speaker 1:It's, it's huge. You know, it's something that it takes. It really does take both sides to Get out of the rut of that culture of silence.
Speaker 2:It is, yeah, and everyone's such an individual, you know like Everyone takes things differently and every, you know. Uh, it's a hard conversation to have.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah but the fact that you know, like, um, like you mentioned, uh, you know, being being firm about and at least being able to vocalize this is how I feel right now. It's like that first step towards encouraging the other side of the coin to like oh, I didn't even think about, even if you had the best intentions, you know, I didn't, I didn't realize that this, you know that wasn't okay, so it's yeah the cycle of conversation, which is the most important thing.
Speaker 2:Which is the important thing? Yeah, because I think Definitely people want it. There are going to be guys that want to take advantage, or women whoever that want to take advantage, and then there's people who just Did not. They don't have the social cue, and I can understand like I don't always pick up social cues myself um, but it is a balance, yeah, and it's knowing who you're around and who you're with.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we're all learning, quite frankly, to talk, for almost the first time, like to actually talk about these things because you, it just didn't happen unless you happen to be proactive.
Speaker 2:I agree, and I think we're. It's also something that we are learning and bringing into education because you know, it does start with women's rights and we did not have rights that long, like we got our rights not that long ago. So this is something that we're bringing into education and we're learning and we're fine-tuning and trying to figure out, you know, that gray area that we tend to all swim in, because it's not all black and white. Yeah, but we have progressed a lot. We still have a lot more progression to make, but I am. It is pretty cool to see that. I don't know I think maybe it's been Correct me because I'm not a history buff but like 80 years, I don't even think it's been 100 years, maybe 100. I don't know. I don't know, I'm not a history buff, but I know it just hasn't been that long since I've had rights.
Speaker 1:Yes, well, and rights are are being taken away.
Speaker 1:But you mentioned something earlier that I that I thought was interesting, when you were talking about sort of the what gives you pleasure versus giving pleasure to others, and that, like when you're when you are masturbating or you are by yourself, that's sort of where you feel the most comfortable to like give yourself pleasure, whereas when you're with a partner, it's sort of the instincts are to please that partner. So when you are kind of With yourself and feeling that kind of confidence within your own, like, say, self care and self pleasure, um, what, what do you think about? What goes through your mind? Because that's just a really fascinating question.
Speaker 2:Oh god, uh, I read A lot of literatica. When I'm by myself, when I'm masturbating, um, I think just you know you're horny, you know You're just touching yourself, having a sensual moment, trying to feel sexy, and I I try to focus. It's very hard for me to orgasm personally, so I try to just focus on that sensation and that feeling. Uh, where I watch gay porn.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's right, that's gay porn. So, um, is there a fantasy that you have that you haven't fulfilled yet? I mean because I know the biforias I seen would have definitely been one, but uh, that you know, you, you would love to explore that you would be willing to share with us.
Speaker 2:Oh, oh. I have been so blessed this year to explore so many of the things I've been interested in, but, um, I would love to perform with Trans performers because that's actually who I'm the most attracted to, and I have never been with a trans woman and that is who I am the most attracted to, actually.
Speaker 1:So Good to know. Yeah, we can chat afterwards. We have got a great series for just that. What qualities do you find the most attractive?
Speaker 2:I'm more of a head person, you know, like Just being a genuine person. Whether you're funny or serious or stupid, if you're genuine, like to me, that's what really attracts me to you. You could be a six or a seven, I don't really care, but you have a genuine heart and you have a softness to you and also integrity that you want to keep doing well for yourself and moving forward. That is what I'm mostly attracted to.
Speaker 1:What are the biggest red flags?
Speaker 2:Oh, if I have to clean your house. Well said, I learned that lesson. I learned that lesson.
Speaker 1:So nobody who's messing with you. But if you have, if you're a good, genuine soul with integrity and clean house, yes, I'm no housewife.
Speaker 2:I will tell you that you know how to cook, know how to do your laundry and have a good clean house. But I mean in a way in a way not to, not to completely psychoanalyze.
Speaker 1:but you know, that sort of sense of structure and discipline and confidence I would imagine would be something very appealing.
Speaker 2:Yes, it says so much, especially because I used to be a horrible hoarder and I used to be the messy one Like I, like my room was horrible. I've had a rotten apple on my floor before. It's horrible. It's a reflection of my mind and so I see it that way and I understand depression. I understand getting to that point, but being with someone who wants to work on that and keep their house clean, go to work, have these ambitions, that says so much. So you hit it on the nail.
Speaker 1:It really is that mental. It is what for my last question, probably the most important and also the most unique to everyone that sits down, for people who are watching this right, we talked on our break about how there's just such a lack of conversation around sex and sexuality and that oftentimes that's probably the root cause of so many challenges For anyone who's watching, who may be feeling very insecure or early on in their own journeys. What advice would you give them in terms of, you know, helping, given that structure and confidence, to move forward?
Speaker 2:I think, knowing you're not alone in it, that it's a journey and you're. It's going to progress and change as you get older, as you learn new things, as you meet new people who might have other interests you never thought of before, and instead of trying to find a label for yourself, instead of trying to put a tag on it, understand you're a person with fluidity and to enjoy discovering yourself and to give yourself the space to explore and to expand and understand it's going to change and to be okay with that.
Speaker 1:Well, the spirit of exploring and discovering oneself. I've really appreciated this conversation and getting a chance to get to know you, Octavia, not just on the screen and your incredible performances, but, most importantly, as an incredible human being. Thank you so much for being part of this. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you for having me. It's been fun. Thank you again for checking out this conversation that I had with the incredible Octavia Red, Somebody who is both inspiring and really wants me to go back and look at some old Western movies one more time with a new lens. So if you liked what you saw today, please let us know, like comment, subscribe to our channel. If you want to support us on any of our other platforms, we have our socials and websites listed in the episode description below. Thank you again from everyone here at Adult Time and I'll see you next week. Let's keep it real.