My Thai Wife
Are you intrested in Thailand and the thai culture?
Are you a frequent vistior to Pattaya and phuket?
Do you want to hear intresting sexy stories about those places?
Or maybe you are looking to hear dating and travel advices?
Do you have intrest in Ladyboys or what is it like being with one?
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Join Pim and Mike while they discuss all those things, and much more!!!
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My Thai Wife
Fights to Understanding: Journey Through Relationship Beefs (ep.4 2023)
"we had some issue with the recording, i figured out that Sunaree's microphone was faulty and now we replaced it. I tried my best to fix the audio and i think i got it to a point that i'm happy with it, sorry guys we are still new to padcasting so please bare with us - Mike"
Ever had a heated disagreement with your partner that spiraled out of control? Sunaree and I, Mike, found ourselves in such a situation recently. What spun from it was a deeper understanding of how to deal with fights in relationships, and we're here to share our discoveries with you. We'll guide you on why it's crucial to take a breather before trying to resolve issues when tempers are flaring, and how to resist the temptation of exchanging hurtful words. We'll also discuss our thoughts on accepting fault, regardless of who's right, and an unspoken rule - stay away from sharp objects during angry moments.
Now, imagine tossing alcohol into the mix of an already heated argument. Not a pleasant image, right? In the second part of our discussion, we dig into the dangers hidden in arguments under the influence. You'll learn why it's vital to sidestep any form of conflict when tipsy, as regrettable words or actions could follow. We underscore the significance of respect in relationships, including understanding and honoring each other's boundaries and families. Moreover, we'll unveil the destructive effects of deliberately using painful words. So, join us as we journey through the intricacies of handling relationship conflicts with effective communication, love, and respect.
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Hello everyone and welcome to the fourth episode of my Thai wife. I am Mike and this is my lovely wife, sonarie, and also we want to say sorry for our listeners about uploading this episode late. The reason is that we had an argument yesterday like a fight Not big fight, but a fight and it's not the first time that it happened. We stayed together for about five or six years already and we had a lot of fight. So this means we have a lot of fighting experience and after our fight yesterday we thought about maybe sharing our advice how to fix fight Right. So we wrote some things down and would you like to start, sonarie? Can you give the first advice you have?
Speaker 2:When have fight need to come down and don't talk when hot.
Speaker 1:What do you mean? Not talk when hot?
Speaker 2:No one listen. I know you listen when hot.
Speaker 1:No, what do you mean? Hot, I not understand. I'm fucking angry. You mean in the middle of the fight, when someone fucking angry?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Need first to come down before fix. Yes, cannot fix when hot, when angry.
Speaker 2:For me. No, I don't want to fit when hot I need to.
Speaker 1:I understand how long you think normally you need for calm down or I need to calm down.
Speaker 2:I don't.
Speaker 1:Up to fight. Yes, let's say I, you find out I lie something to you, not something big, and then you angry. You think now maybe one week you not talk with me, or normally after. Maybe one day we can start to talk about this, maybe one day, if not big. No, no, not big. If big, I kick you out. Don't worry, I buy ticket.
Speaker 2:I'm not care.
Speaker 1:I know you happy if I buy ticket. I think you dream about this day many times, maybe today this fight. He say okay, finish then.
Speaker 2:I don't even have science in it. It's not mine.
Speaker 1:You know this, my tip also. I have one tip there that I wrote. So, in the middle of a big fight, we sometimes say stuff we don't want to say or sometimes we feel very full you know what I mean full about. You keep your feelings long time, long time, long time, and then you say bomb, you explode, we talk about this last episode and sometimes, when this happen, maybe I say something very bad or maybe you say something very bad. Sometimes we talk about okay, so we not stay together, we separate, right. Okay, you do what you want, I do what I want, and we not do this relationship anymore. And I think it's very good for a very bad for fight to say that, because when this happen, this make us angry more and hurt more, right.
Speaker 2:So stop make me angry.
Speaker 1:You're right. Everything is my fault. Everyone that listen in the world, please know it's Mike's fault. Always when something happen bad in your life, this is Mike's fault. Yes, if some you go down the street and you step on shit, this is my fault. Yes.
Speaker 2:Probably my shit.
Speaker 1:Yes, I shit everywhere. Yes, so everything in the world is my fault. You not have fault in this. No, never, ever. So you know what? I have a special extra tip for you. Sometimes people need to take fault, even if they think they fucking right. Sometimes you have to accept you not do 100% good.
Speaker 2:I do 1 million percent, not 100%.
Speaker 1:You sure Everything? Yes, you want I give example? No, why not? Up to me. So my tip, as I said, is, when you have fight, please don't tell your partner. Okay, I want to finish with you. I don't want to stay with you anymore.
Speaker 1:No one said you sure before I see, but, nice, stop. But I mean, you know, in the beginning of the relationship it was much easier to say that, right, you talk about you with me or some other first, I talk about you and me. But I think this can apply, this can help for other people that listen to us, right, and I think in the beginning of our relationship correct me if I'm wrong it was much easier to say, okay, we finish, we finish, we finish, we finish every time we have fight. Okay, finish. I even bought ticket one or two times for you, you remember.
Speaker 2:One time.
Speaker 1:One time and have another time. I think very hard when you try to kill me. You remember. You try to kill me one time. Wait, I remember. I never forget this place, oh. I gave you how you play. This is not good.
Speaker 2:I play.
Speaker 1:Also another extra tip I can give when have fight with your Thai wife some Thai wives are crazy Stay away from sharp objects. If have knife, have glass bottle, have something. Go away from this. It can be very dangerous for you.
Speaker 2:Not even like this man.
Speaker 1:I don't say everyone, but I say my Thai wife is fucking crazy sometimes.
Speaker 2:Stop making me angry.
Speaker 1:How can I stop making you angry if you are angry about pussy of mosquito?
Speaker 2:Let me do whatever I want.
Speaker 1:What do you want to do?
Speaker 2:Everything. Don't say no one is not good. Actually, let me do whatever I want.
Speaker 1:I want to know I do only bad things to you or sometimes I do good things also.
Speaker 2:Good thing, I'm not proud.
Speaker 1:Why not?
Speaker 2:That's how this bad thing After me.
Speaker 1:You don't think it's good idea to count everything.
Speaker 2:No, I'm okay.
Speaker 1:I don't believe you. Now you are angry about yesterday, but I don't believe you. I know deep inside you are very sweet and lovely lady.
Speaker 2:I'm not lovely lady.
Speaker 1:Satan. You're not Satan. Don't say that. And do you have maybe another tip you want to let our listeners hear?
Speaker 2:When inside try to remember why you love each other.
Speaker 1:Okay. So that's very easy to understand, right? When, in a middle of fight, even if you just remember the bad thing that Sunari do to me she do many bad things then I think why she, sunari, do bad, why she do this, why she do this? But I also have to remember why I love Sunari, why I choose to stay with her, because it's much easier to see the bad things when you are inside the fight. Right, what about what? Can you give an example? Thing, let's say we have fight, and then you think just I make you angry, I'm not.
Speaker 2:For me when I don't know this man's side, when I have fight. I don't want to see you. I don't want to talk with you. I want to see you.
Speaker 1:But I mean about think about the good things also. I mean this Good thing.
Speaker 2:I don't care, man, but I don't want to see even you face, even you.
Speaker 1:We have this tip there. Can you find it? I think it's in my tips. Have one tip, give me, I show you. One of the tips that we wrote is sometime less talk is better than long talk. I understand.
Speaker 1:Sometime, let's say, we have some fight, I can come and I can talk with you 2-3 hours. That make you even angry, more so. This way I say sometimes I just say, sunari, I angry because you do this, and walk away and let you understand why I'm angry. For me, I think better I do like this, and then I go party with someone. You stay home alone, you said, and then you think I miss my husband, where is my husband? I'm so sorry. I do this to him, him very lovely husband. You have to clean this. After you throw up on the floor you have to clean. But, as we say this in your tips also, sometime fight can go away. If we not talk about fight, not everything that we angry have to talk about.
Speaker 2:Even though never go.
Speaker 1:Really, if something small like, let's say, I forget to open the window in the morning, just say, and this make you angry? Sometime you can just say might you forget? Do this, then stop talk about this Inside. I can understand why this important for her. Maybe even I don't think this important. She want I do this, I have to do this. So this why I mean sometime not have to talk about everything and just have to say what you don't like.
Speaker 2:But I don't like to say it Because I think she's a liar, you know.
Speaker 1:number one, everyone knows this not good, not good Thing. Yes, but you know you like number one Tuyayak right.
Speaker 2:Because you do everything not good.
Speaker 1:Even if I do everything good, you try to find the reason. Tuyayak, of course, because this is fun for you.
Speaker 2:Yes, I like Tuyayak.
Speaker 1:So you say what is it now? So have to say something.
Speaker 2:No, if you do nothing wrong, I say nothing wrong. But I say that I see 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
Speaker 1:So everything, as we said before, is my problem. Okay, that's good to know. Can I move on to the next tip I have?
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 1:I think this tip you are not going to like.
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 1:Don't fight when you drunk.
Speaker 2:Don't fight. No one needs to fight, no one wants to fight me.
Speaker 1:But when you drunk.
Speaker 2:Because you need to shut up.
Speaker 1:when I drunk, I always need to shut up. No.
Speaker 2:When I drunk, you try to talk blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Headache.
Speaker 1:I know headache, but when you drunk, you know, sometimes you speak bad things. No More than normally, no, I speak very nice. Okay, in your dream. Yes, when you sleep you speak very nice.
Speaker 2:But in reality. No, I speak bad, I don't speak bad.
Speaker 1:I can give you one million examples. I don't want to do this, but I just say in reality, yes, when you dream, wow, you're very good lady, you never speak bad. But in reality, sometimes, when you drunk, you speak not nice.
Speaker 2:No, I never speak bad.
Speaker 1:Also, you talk my head many times. I don't like. So, Soon my head will be flat because you top, top, top top. So now I have head like this. It's not good.
Speaker 2:Why you don't move.
Speaker 1:Why you do.
Speaker 2:Do you know when I sleep?
Speaker 1:So don't, sleep.
Speaker 2:I cannot control.
Speaker 1:You need to control. This is very important.
Speaker 2:You can see my face Eat by angry, so move, go away.
Speaker 1:So every time I see you angry, I have to go away? Yes, and I see you just one time every year, just in your birthday. You're not angry. Yes, it's good idea. I think I think we find good idea. Yes, and do you have any other tip Maybe you want to give to the listeners?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:You wrote many things here. Actually, some of them very good.
Speaker 2:No, not today. Today I'm tired.
Speaker 1:Why you tired.
Speaker 2:Today I'm very tired.
Speaker 1:What happened?
Speaker 2:I lost my job.
Speaker 1:You lost your job. Sorry, but today the weather is not very good for walk right Because it has a lot of wind.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, Very, very, very busy. Even this, yes, also, this is not here. This is not here. You need to do everything to cut this, this, this.
Speaker 1:And I want to know in your restaurant, let's say, you have rain or I don't have this one. Okay, let me rephrase that In the restaurant that you walk at, let's say, you have very rainy day, a lot of rain and wind, empty, right. So no. What do you mean? People still come to the restaurant. Yes, why?
Speaker 2:How can I know?
Speaker 1:Why they not stay home?
Speaker 2:I don't know, I also have a job. Maybe they don't have food.
Speaker 1:Maybe, and the only place they can find is the most expensive Thai restaurant in my country. Right, this is the best way to buy food when you don't have food. So, as I said before, I think you wrote some very good tips. I think the person that wrote this tip is very smart. Let me just say that. So I will read some of your other tips and we can talk about this. Okay, you wrote even when you have fights, you have to respect each other, right? This is very interesting, because even when you don't have fights, you don't respect.
Speaker 2:I don't respect.
Speaker 1:When you respect.
Speaker 2:I always respect you when, many times, every day.
Speaker 1:What means respect for you? I want to know Different definition for the word respect.
Speaker 2:I tell you to do something. You do this I respect.
Speaker 1:And if you tell me something I don't do, so let's say I want to do something, what you want to do something you can do. But you don't want, I do.
Speaker 2:What I don't want you to do.
Speaker 1:Oh, Sonari, today I go play a game with my friends 16 hours 16 hours. Yes, no, I want to come home. No, sweet today he come my house Can play 16 hours. No, why you not respect me?
Speaker 2:16 hours.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:This normal.
Speaker 1:Ten beer every day is normal. Yes, no.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:Okay so, but in the middle of fight it's much more important to respect right. Let's say not speak bad about I never do and you never do. But I just give example when you stay with Thai lady, never speak about her family. It's not good. Don't speak bad about them.
Speaker 2:When I don't speak about family, your family, also my family. So no, not not good to talk about.
Speaker 1:I know, but some people, especially in my language, when angry, many of the bad words are about mama or papa right, and I think it's very bad because this make a person think someone not only not respect them, not respect their family also because you're like this, even very smart you know some words in my language, some bad words.
Speaker 1:Can you say to give to no towards. I don't like to see this. Why this bed? Maybe in the next episode we talk about languages. So we have another tips that you wrote you out. This is, I think, the most important one, don't you? You wrote this. Don't say something just for hurt me. I like you what is is I like to hurt you why?
Speaker 2:if, if I, not her, do you never stop? But because you try to make me speak bad and hurt you, this from your stuff, because this is my fault.
Speaker 1:We speak before.
Speaker 2:Everything is my fault when I speak nice to you, I speak no. You never listen. When I start scream, I speak bad. Is you listen?
Speaker 1:so you say the opposite, that it's bad, good to think, to speak, bad just to hurt someone.
Speaker 2:Not good, but just now we talk about just you and me.
Speaker 1:We talk about not only you and me, because we talk about also. I want people that listen to us now.
Speaker 2:It's not good for her someone, but for you. I want to. I don't want to hurt you, but you made me hurt you.
Speaker 1:I remember one time we have big fight and I speak very bad to you. I say some bad words not one time no, no, no, no, no. I speak very bad words. You know, and it was. I remember immediately, you, you were fucking angry and you start crying. Remember that my many time but I think this is the reason that you are, that that better not say those things when angry.
Speaker 2:I tell you many time when I angry, stop, go away so this is your best tip just go away when angry yes separate different room no same room. But don't start to talk blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. When I come now I talk. You know, you know before, yes, you don't know, but now you know when you see my face. So she ain't bitch, don't want to talk. Okay, you go. You can go see play game.
Speaker 1:You go somewhere to you but don't you think that maybe sometime you not come down, maybe sometime take for you maybe one week to come down?
Speaker 2:I just not see you one, I come down why you love me so much no, I don't know. Here also, I don't want to see your face but after one hour yes, maybe. I think she loved me sometime of course I love you if you're not love your wife stay with you because I'm very rich and handsome.
Speaker 1:So I will give my next tips and I think soon we finish this episode. Oh, this, this, we not follow this. But I think this good tip for other people even when have fucking big fight, try in the night to sleep in the same bed. Don't say, okay, we have big fight, now I sleep on the floor and she sleep on bed, or I sleep on couch and she sleep on bed. Try to sleep together in same bed. For what? Because no, not what you think you have dirty mind. I not mean about this. I Mean also good idea, but this we talk like next episode. I mean something else.
Speaker 1:When here fight, you sleep in floor better, I when you sleep so can I give you reason why I think it's better we stay saying that? Because sometimes nighttime we forget about fighting. Then just hug little bit or Just do this or even touch little bit and this make everyone come down. No, let me. Yes, you also now. You totally, because people listen to us. But in the real, the real, the real soon, a re fucking love when people hug her and Touch and say something nice.
Speaker 1:No so why, when we have fight and we sleep same bed, you come hug me forget. Exactly this way say sometime we forget. So you, you. You just say that I'm right, you forget, that you angry. Then you come back, you hug me and then oh, but then you already still hug, so you're not let go, right. This true, this happened many time because I forget mine and this is my last tip.
Speaker 1:I think this tip I learned because of sunari, because First I try to do something else it's not work, and then I see this very good idea. So this tip is if you can do it's not always, not everyone have this possibility but go fight somewhere else, don't stay home, go. You can go some forest or the beach or something like this change the environment. You remember one time we have very big fight and then I take you near to the beach and we see it and we talk, even still angry each other. But when go out from house, go out from room, I think the feeling is changing.
Speaker 1:You know, yes, I know not everyone can do that, but I think and of course, don't go where have people, try to find somewhere you can be alone. But I know for you it's very important sometimes to how you say I want some air. Sometimes I think we feel a little bit stuck in our routine of Walk home, walk home, walk home, walk home, walk home and sometimes need to change that. Right, and you don't like to go to restaurant or movies. This is your style, this is okay. Yeah, so I think for you is very good just to go, maybe even drive car. Also, this if this option for you, for you Just take your wife in the car, drive somewhere, can talk in the way you know if you smoke cigarette, smoke cigarette Whatever you want to do, but change the air, change the environment. I think it helped us many times, right, but I don't know. Yesterday you not want to do that.
Speaker 1:I want, but you don't want you not talking about let's go somewhere yesterday.
Speaker 2:You know me when I'm angry. I want to go out.
Speaker 1:No, you want something else, but I yesterday too angry, I cannot give you.
Speaker 2:What cannot keep.
Speaker 1:I cannot say this on microphone. This is very bad. What are you crazy? Why? Who you talked? I just say that sometimes this, but you need for calm down. No, everyone need this sometime for calm down.
Speaker 2:No, no, my this not nice to say this.
Speaker 1:People want to listen. No, I'm not allowed to say this. Okay, I want to know. From now we change the subject because soon, very soon, we finish this episode. We do this already, for this is our fourth time we do this episode, this podcast. I want to know you think it it helped us as a couple? What she just shaking her head? You have microphone in front of you. You have to say yes, no.
Speaker 2:I really don't know.
Speaker 1:I know you don't really think it's good idea to do this podcast, but I want to thank you, for you try to help me do this and I know many things. It's take a lot of power from you, so this is a good opportunity for me to tell you that I really appreciate that and I thank you for that and I love you very much.
Speaker 2:I hate you very much, I know.
Speaker 1:But I love you and for our listeners, I want you to try to reach out to us. You can find us everywhere on all the social medias and also you can send us emails by just send emails to mytaiwifepod at gmailcom. As I said again, mytaiwifepod at gmailcom. If you have some questions or anything you want to discuss or you need, you want us to do an episode on a specific subject or something like this, please, please, reach out for us. We will do our best to answer you as quickly as we can and we will try to follow your advices or whatever you give us, and we want to thank you for you listening to us. It's a journey that we are glad to do with you guys and I think it's it can become something really, really nice and good for the community of Farang and Thai couples.
Speaker 2:What do you mean?
Speaker 1:Farang. Farang, I'm Thai, or I need to ask you what do you mean, farang?
Speaker 2:No, maybe someone don't know.
Speaker 1:Farang means foreigner, someone that is not Thai, just that.
Speaker 2:But you're not Thai, you're Thuy.
Speaker 1:What You're you? What do you mean you, you, what do you mean you? Four people not speak.
Speaker 2:I don't know Thai, call you.
Speaker 1:What do you mean? Can you explain you people? You people, you mean Jewish people, right, you mean Jewish, but Jewish people come from Europe, jewish people come from Arab countries. Jewish people come from Russia, from everywhere. So are they Russians or Farang or Jewish? Even Jewish come from Africa. You, it's not important, okay? And Jewish people are okay, okay, you think Some? No, I mean, before you meet Jewish people, what they talk about. Jewish people in Thailand.
Speaker 2:I never meet.
Speaker 1:Before you meet in school. When they teach you about Jewish people, they teach you something.
Speaker 2:Nothing.
Speaker 1:Nothing.
Speaker 2:I never even heard.
Speaker 1:Oh for sure they teach something, no war. No, not about war. I want to know, like, what Thai people think about Muslim people and about people from India, or about Chinese people. So I want to know what they think about Jewish people also.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:You know I just checked that yesterday. You know that 50% of our listeners are from Israel. Many people from Israel listen to us. Can you say shalom to them?
Speaker 2:Shalom.
Speaker 1:Manishma.
Speaker 2:I call Bezedah.
Speaker 1:She can speak a little bit Hebrew, anyway, guys. So, as I said before, reach out to us. We will be thrilled to get some emails from you guys, and thank you for listening.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:And see you next week. Bye, bye.
Speaker 2:Bye, bye.