Delaying gratification is a process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure by meeting and experiencing the pain first and getting it over with. It is the only decent way to live. — M. SCOTT PECK

Romans 5:3-4 HCSB  And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance,  (4)  endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope.

More than fifty years ago, psychologist Walter Mischel conducted a now-famous experiment designed to study self-control and delay of gratification in young children. In what is popularly called the “Stanford marshmallow experiment,” he offered children an additional treat if they could wait to eat their treat until he returned (in 15 minutes). In a follow-up to this study years later, he found that those that were successful excelled in almost all measures - academics, social skills, behavioral skills, weight control, careers, etc.

We have a natural inclination to run from pain and toward pleasure - something psychologists call the “pleasure principle.”  Unfortunately, when we choose to run from our painful day-to-day problems, we only see them get worse over time.  Furthermore, this fallen bent to seek gratification instead of facing painful things head-on becomes especially problematic in three areas of life: what 1 John 2:16 describes as the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life.

 1.       Lust of the flesh 

• Craving for sensual gratification (Amplified Bible)
• Example:  King David and his many wives, and his adultery with Bathsheba. 

2.       Lust of the eyes

• Greedy longings of the mind (Amplified Bible)
• Or, we may describe it as when we longingly and covetously look at someone or something in a lustful, idolatrous, "I’ve just gotta have it or I’m going to die!" way.

3.       Boastful pride of life

• Assurance in one's own resources or in the stability of earthly things (Amplified Bible)
• When we want to be seen as great, powerful, awesome, or glorious.

 Every day we stand at the fork in the road between loving the things of this world or loving God. Which we will love the most is our choice to make; God gives us free will and won’t force us to make the right choice. As the Bible so clearly puts it, “choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve” (Joshua 24:15), a choice that determines the quality of life on earth.

 Every day we are constantly faced with the choice of loving the things of this world or loving God. So, what do we do?  How do we turn to God for help to love Him more than we love the things of this world? How can we learn to delay gratification so we can enjoy the right kind of pleasure at the right time, in the right way, with the right people?

 Dr. Thurman, in his book entitled “The Lies We Believe,” offers the following suggestions:

1.       Acknowledge that God owns my body (and not me). 

• Isaiah 49:5a NASB  And now says the LORD, who formed Me from the womb to be His Servant…  (Application:  God formed me to fulfill His purpose – to be His servant to a world that is desperate for hope and meaning in life.)

2.       Acknowledge my fallen bent to gratify my flesh. 

• We all have flesh-gratifying patterns of thought and deed, that we learned prior to becoming a follower of Jesus.  We must acknowledge these tendencies, and ask God to reprogram our minds to unlearn those patterns, a process that we call sanctification.

3.      Admit that I don’t have sufficient personal willpower to overcome my struggle. 

• I have to own it, in order to make any progress. 
• I have to admit that I am powerless, apart from God’s power at work in me.
• Romans 7:18b NASB  for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.  
• Application:  This describes how we are hopeless to overcome our struggles on our own power, despite our longing to do so.  But with the power of the Holy Spirit at work in our life, we can and will overcome.

4.      Dedicate my body to God. 

• Especially the parts I struggle to control. 
• Romans 12:1 AMPC  I appeal to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship.

5.       Ask the Holy Spirit for help to grow in self-control in delaying gratification. 

• Philippians 2:13 ISV  For it is God who is producing in you both the desire and the ability to do what pleases Him.  
• Hebrews 4:16 NIV  Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.  (Application:  God, through the power and presence of the Holy Spirit in us, is the best way to grow in self-control in delaying gratification.  Boldly and confidently approach God and ask Him for His help!)

6.      Overcome addictions with support from others. 

• Don’t try to do it alone. 
• Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 HCSB  Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts.  (10)  For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.
• Hebrews 10:24-25 CSB  And let us watch out for one another to provoke love and good works,  (25)  not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching.

Today, I encourage you to “Reflect on This.”