Tina Joy

Hey there. Welcome to the coming home to joy business podcast. I'm your host, Tina Joy Cochran, and I am so happy that you are here. There is no need to stop your busy life right now. Let's just hang out together as we discover more joy in business. Just drop me into your pocket and keep on going. Can't wait to share this episode with you. You know, doing interviews for this podcast has been so much fun for me. It brings me so much joy, particularly because I get to reconnect with folks that maybe I haven't talked to in a while. And this episode of coming home to joy is just that. Valerie Suydam and I met probably what 2019 or so, 2019, 2020 during COVID.

Valerie Suydam

Yeah, it was 2020.

Tina Joy

And we worked together as she went through some seasons to publish her first book. And we haven't had a chance to catch up. And this is our opportunity, we want to share with you her story of, seasons of being in a place with the Lord that is incredibly private that you never know what's going to happen next. So Valerie, welcome your blog is encounters with the Lord. Right? Correct. Correct. That's my blog. Tell me about that. Where does that phrase come from? How does the story begin?

Valerie Suydam

Well, first of all, I want to say thank you, Tina, for having me on. It's a privilege. And I want to say congratulations to you for your podcast. I have listened to all the episodes and they're wonderful.

Tina Joy

Oh, thank you. I am enjoying not being on camera.

Valerie Suydam

Ditto. So encounters with the Lord, that name came from exactly what it says. Having encounters with the Lord. And what I mean by that is I was going through a very, very difficult time in my life. I was taking care of my late husband. This was a 5 year journey. I was his only caretaker and he had a disease that was debilitating. So it was slow, but fast at the same time. And it, it wound up taking all of his human capacities. And so I took care of him and it was the most. difficult thing I've ever had to do in my life. And I relied on the Lord to get me through it. And he knows me well, he knows his daughter and he knew that the only way I was going to make it through myself was to have daily encounters with him. And I don't just mean reading the Bible. That's how it started. But he would actually. in my mind's eye, he would meet me there. And we would have what would be a intimate encounter between the Lord and his child. And he was able to bring me through probably the darkest time of my life.

Tina Joy

He meets us where we are, right? Every time.

Valerie Suydam

And he is absolutely closest to those who are broken hearted. If we call out to him, he wants to be right there with us. He wants to be that everything to us, if we will allow him.

Tina Joy

I love that. So four years, this one, this was going on, you

Valerie Suydam

said, right? Yeah, it was actually five years. And the last three were the most difficult. Right. And then? Yes. So while While I was taking care of my late husband I was keeping a journal and I was documenting all of these encounters that I was having with the Lord. These very private, very intimate encounters. Yes. Yes. And one day I heard him say, I want you to publish a book. And I laughed because I thought, well, what? Am I going to write about? And he said, oh, I want you to publish your journal. And I said, what? And he said, yeah, I want you to publish your journal. And I said, well, gosh, Lord, that's awfully private. Don't you think? but he was very clear. He said, what I want is for other people. to be able to know that they can have a relationship with me like you and I do. And he said, it's rare that someone comes to me and wants to interact with me like you do. And I want you to show other people that it's possible.

Tina Joy

Oh, I love that. And you know I wrote Coming Home to Joy it started with maybe if I pray for my clients, I'll get more business, but that's another story for another podcast. But when it became clear that the assignment was to write my life story in a book the question on my mind was why would anybody want to do that? And what was so interesting is I also in conversation with the Lord what I felt at Lead was this isn't about you, it's about us and it's a love story about how I never leave. And that makes it so different when you realize it's not me that I'm sharing, it's him. that I'm sharing. And that's where you and I came together. You had joined in one of our marketing challenges and we had quite a few conversations about your, I don't even want to say love hate relationship because there's no love in it with Facebook. Now I've got to go public and I don't want to go public.

Valerie Suydam

Yes. So that is where we met each other and so a friend of mine got one of your emails. You had done an email blast and She received the email and it was about marketing. And so she forwarded it to me and said, maybe this is something you'd be interested in since the Lord's asked you to do a book. And I thought for the longest time, I thought, you know, I'd rather poke myself in the eye than attend that. But I did, as you know, Tina,

Tina Joy

right, right. Kicking and screaming because it was on Facebook that we were doing it. We were doing some of the work on Facebook.

Valerie Suydam

Yes, because I am not a social media person. Never wanted to be, but I realized if I was going to go down this path, I was going to have to somehow introduce myself to social media. So I thought I'd start with Facebook. And. I knew absolutely nothing, nothing. And so, yes, and I went, I loved it. I'm glad I did it wound up you know, becoming a member of your organization to receive your coaching, which was. priceless. Yes, I had to learn all about social media and Facebook, and that was difficult for me because I've always been a highly private person. So one to ask me toe to publish my journal. And then to get on social media, it was quite the challenge for me.

Tina Joy

What's really interesting is Lord, I don't know what to write my book about and yet your book was already done. I mean, when we connected you with my publisher Darren Shearer of Highbridge books. You pretty much had your manuscript put together because you'd been writing it for, for years through this process,

Valerie Suydam

right? Yes. What I did have to do, so you're right, the manuscript per se was handwritten in my journal. So I did have to go and type them and, you know, put them in a format for a book to send to. High Bridge, which there again, I would not have known what to do on that end of things either, had it not been for you, Tina. So Why we do what we do. You were instrumental in everything.

Tina Joy

I didn't even beat you when you went kicking and screaming and said you didn't want to do it. You did not. You did not. We just gently said, what'd the Lord tell you to do?

Valerie Suydam

Well, and I will say to your listeners that if you partner with Tina in any way, you will find that she prophesies over you very well and very lovingly, which is so helpful, so beneficial, no matter what you're trying to accomplish in your life.

Tina Joy

You don't put your faith and your business in two separate silos. It's kind of hard to, I mean, you can, but why would you right? But when you can partner and pull it all together, and we talk a lot about this in the golden heartland community in this full integration between life and business and faith, which kind of leads us to the book comes out and you're really excited about that. Yeah. But it's time for a new season.

Valerie Suydam

Oh my gosh. Yes. Even though I was writing it for people who are kind of in their darkest time, really struggling. Really, I have come to find out that the target audience is for those who desire a close, intimate relationship with the Lord, if you want to kind of take your relationship to the next step, these stories really help. It's, you can see your savior in a different light. And he was speaking into me. Constantly reassuring me that he's not finished with me. He has a plan and a purpose. And he was saying it in beautiful, colorful ways that are represented in the stories so after my husband passed away, the Lord started talking to me. Cool. In a very, oh, precise, detailed way. He started giving me, basically, he started giving me prophecies of what to expect in my own life, which there again, that was a season that really started to freak me out because that was new for me. And so that was a season of growing further in my faith. Hearing him. believing for these really out of the ballpark promises that I'm thinking, oh man, I really, really have to stretch my faith to start saying, yes, Lord. Okay. I am trusting you for that. But it did come to pass. And interesting enough, part of those promises was my current husband. And so, the book got published in March of 22. And I was remarried by July of 22. And so, you know, at times I feel like. Lord, did I fail you? Because I didn't really get to market or publicize the book because when Rob came into my life my life. Switched. It went from filled with death and hopelessness to filled with life and joy and hope and promises and it has just been a whirlwind of wonderful things, but not what I thought I was going to be focusing on.

Tina Joy

It's interesting that you say that, Valerie. I want to poke on something a second, because when you told the story of what the Lord told you, what you said was the Lord told you to publish a book. That's a good point. Yep. And, as you were talking about this, you were, I didn't get to publicize it. That's not what you were asked to do. And I think it's interesting that. You know, one of the things I've seen in my life and in my journey, particularly in the business stuff, is you get a glimpse. of what your assignment is, that clarity of, of the being joy led, and you go, I'll let you know how that works out. And you run off onto doing it, not from a place of ego, but from a place of love and obedience. I just want to do it right by you, Lord. I just want to do it right by you, Lord. And I don't want to let you down. And, and it's interesting when you look at it, he didn't ask you to publicize it. He just asked you to put it out there and sometimes putting the book out there and putting the content out there, your job is to get it out there so that he can then use it. I remember, Oh, probably close to 15 years ago now, 30 days to joy came out as an email series. was one of the things, very first things I ever published as content and the Lord saying, Oh, you're going to write prayers. I'm like, write prayers. No, no, don't write prayers. We don't even pray in front of people. Right. So I, I totally map with this. What you're Thinking of isn't have you met me? This is not right. And when it first came out, I got an email from a woman asking in Brazil, asking if I would translate it into Portuguese. And I was like, what happened there? Right. And then had a woman call me and go, we're doing a Bible study on joy. And I think you're supposed to be my coach. It's like, wait, wait. And she's, you know, you just don't know. And he's not necessary. We're not necessarily responsible for all of that. We're responsible for the part he assigns us to do.

Valerie Suydam

Yes. And one of the I'm sure it's one of the stories in my book. But you know, God has us in what I call a waiting room. And because he has a whole timeline that he's unfolding and he's doing. More than we can even imagine within that timeline, not just with us, but with everybody else. And so when you're sitting in the waiting room, and it appears like nothing is happening or it seems like you have failed at something or not been successful at something. You don't know that that is true because God's story has not totally unfolded. So you're still in this middle section where he's working and you're waiting. And so for me with the book, just like what, what you said, I have to say to myself that I was successful because I was obedient to what the Lord asked me to do, and I completed it and I finished it. And it's not like I put it on the shelf. I know it's there and I will come back to it,

Tina Joy

so tell us more about this current season in our conversation before we started recording this, you mentioned the phrase I feel like I'm riding down the rapids. We've gone from hopeless, dark waiting room to riding rapids. So tell me more.

Valerie Suydam

Yes. Yes. My husband and I, we work with people. I don't know the best way to call it. It's not counseling. It is working with people. They're working with their story, their inner child and healing so that they can have the walk with the Lord that they want so that they can walk in the victory that Christ has given them because a lot of times we get in our own way, or there's things in our past that are holding us back our own brokenness, our own wounds that won't allow us to operate in our full potential that the Lord has for us. So we work with people in that area right now we're doing a, a small group For married couples,

Tina Joy

this is an in person group in Kansas City is where you're working now.

Valerie Suydam

Yes. It is a small group at our church at Graceway here in Kansas City and it's not a normal marriage course. What the Lord has asked Rod and I to do is to basically again, I'm laughing now. It's the first time I've come to realize this. Now the Lord's asking us to, or me, both of us, but me to publicize again, what's going on in my life. Yeah, I just

Tina Joy

realized that you realize this podcast stays out there and has been heard on five continents, right? So we're going public with your story, Valerie.

Valerie Suydam

Oh my, but so So what we feel the Lord has led us to do is to share with other married couples what the Lord has already brought Rod and I through before we were married. And now after we've been married in the whole spiritual, emotional, mental healing process and just telling people how our brokenness, our wounds plays out in a marriage to make it so difficult. And how the enemy, how the spiritual warfare plays against our marriages to make it difficult. And so it's exposing what's actually happening in a marriage when so often we think our spouse is the enemy and that's just not the truth.

Tina Joy

Wow. Wow. As you're talking, I'm just like, Wow, so much, so much. this is the next book,

Valerie Suydam

right? Well, and see, as Rod and I were putting the curriculum together we kind of have an idea board and we kind of look at each other and we're like, Oh my gosh, this could be your next book because the Lord told me. Oh gosh, probably two years ago, shortly after I published Encounters with the Lord, he said there will be a second book and he gave me the title which I won't say right now, but I've always had it in my mind and I thought, Oh, you know, I just couldn't get the desire, the momentum to write. And several people were asking me, so have you started on your second book? I'm like, no. but now, yes, we are both thinking that this content, what the Lord has shown Rod and I will probably be the next book.

Tina Joy

You have to promise to come back when it comes out and we need to share that one.

Valerie Suydam

I will. I'm sure I'll be in contact with you anyway.

Tina Joy

Absolutely. I've got some ideas coming up on that. But like you, I will respect that we are not releasing that stuff just yet. And it's so interesting in our community, it's not just about how do I become a business owner? How do I move forward? The people that are in our community and our listeners are more focused on, I have a lifestyle that I want to live and I need money to fund that. So therefore I use business as a vehicle and Marriage is a big part of this when you are married. True. So a part two, stay tuned. We will continue to see what happens there. And when the next one comes out, we definitely want to share that. So what would you tell, I want to make sure we get this. What would you tell someone you mentioned being in the waiting room and in the dark and being hopeless having spent some time there and now White water rafting in joy. I think that's what we're going to call it. Yes. Right. And being in this entirely different place what would you tell somebody who is in the dark place? What would you tell them?

Valerie Suydam

The first thing that comes to my mind is you just have to know that there is hope because there's I sat many, many days feeling totally hopeless. And the Lord tells us that we have hope in him. He is hope. And you know, we don't know what that looks like. It's something that's not tangible. It's just strictly faith and know that our Lord wants to be right there with you. And if you can have the courage. to get alone and call out to him, cry out to him and ask him to manifest himself, make himself obvious to you. Every day waking up and asking to see the hidden treasures that he will place along the path for you. Another story in my book is where I was conveying that. My life felt like it was in, in shambles in ashes. But as I scoured the ashes, I saw something glimmering. And so I was looking and it was a hidden treasure that the Lord had placed there for me. And so I would just challenge people to look for those look for the hidden treasures and ask the lord. Where are you in this? Show me where you are And then you have to believe

Tina Joy

I love that You know as I read through your book it's not showing up in a place of God, you are amazing. I'm so grateful. Sometimes it's just showing up going, I got nothing. Right. And I remember years ago someone was saying that they had a death in the family or some trauma that had happened. And they were, I am so angry at God that I don't believe anymore. And my response to them was Of course you're angry, you can be mad at God, don't you think he doesn't already know that? And they were, Oh, no one has ever said it was okay for me to be mad at God. And what I've learned in the years of walking with the Lord in this is it's okay to show up. Yes. angry. It's because it's not like you're going to surprise him. We can't let him down and we can't surprise him because he already knows everything. Right. So he wants us with our true

Valerie Suydam

feelings.

Tina Joy

Yeah, there it is. There it is. He just wants us to show up. And that's the part that I think is such a blessing that maybe we miss in our Want to be busy in our, want to just make circumstances be different. Yeah. Sometimes they can't be different. Right. But our experience of those circumstances can be different through him. And I think your story is such a beautiful example because as you read through your book, there is such a loving, gentle, caring intimacy with daughter. I know. Yes. Right. I know. What, what you're feeling and it's not just hang in there and it'll be okay and it'll all be better. There was no, it's going to change and you don't, it was, we're just going to walk through this together. Yes. And it's not about avoiding the pain. It's about walking with him in a, in a closer way.

Valerie Suydam

Yes. I wrote down, it helps make sense of suffering and anguish. I think that's what the book does. Say that again. Yeah. Encounters with the Lord. The stories will help you make sense of suffering and anguish because you're exactly right. In fact, the Lord promises we're going to have trials and tribulations in this world. So we know it's going to happen. So instead of sitting there being mad and trying to change it, it's okay to be mad. I'm not saying that, but instead call out to the Lord and ask him to walk with you through it so you can get to the other side of what I call redemptive love. You know, he will Love you through it and he'll get you on the other side. It is a season back to season There's a season in your life and he will get you through all of the seasons

Tina Joy

I'd love that say that phrase one more time and we're gonna mic drop and we're gonna end there So encounters

Valerie Suydam

with the Lord does what it will help make sense of suffering and anguish

Tina Joy

Mic drop.

Valerie Suydam

Thank you,

Tina Joy

Valerie, for being willing to say yes to Encounters with the Lord, and I will drop a link to your site and your blog. There is so much richness there, that regardless of whether you're blind or not, posting on social media every day or you are just working on the next thing as you ride the rapids, I think the world is a better place

Valerie Suydam

for you being

Tina Joy

there. So thank you. Thank you so much, Tina. You've been listening to the Coming Home to Joy business podcast. For more joy and business, check out our website at goldenheartland. com. You might find something perfect just for you. This is Tina Joy Cochran. Your host, coach, and the founder of the Golden Heartland business community for women. Thanks for being here. And don't forget to subscribe and share this with your friends. Remember, everything you're dreaming of is just on the other side of change. Being joy led in your business will get you there. We'll see you next time.