Episode #8 - Transforming Lives Through Coaching: Conquering Dyslexia and ADHD With Shaynee Sherwood

Exciting News!

We're thrilled to announce that as of July 2024 our podcast name is changing from Coming Home to Joy to Joy-Led Business!  Rest assured, our mission remains unchanged: empowering Christian women like you to discover joy in entrepreneurship, with practical wisdom, heartfelt encouragement, and a faith-centered approach. Tune in to the Joy-Led Business podcast and continue your journey towards business success and fulfillment!

 In this episode, host Tina Joy Cochran sits down with Coach Shaynee Sherwood, an exceptional woman who isn't letting her dyslexia and ADHD define her limitations. Listen as Shaynee shares her journey of self-discovery and acceptance, and how she now empowers others through her unique coaching program. Witness how one's perceived 'weaknesses' can actually be their greatest strength.

 Learn about the simple but transformative concept of 'body doubling,' and how neurodiversity can be a tool, not just a hindrance. Explore how seeking help can empower, not diminish us, and why mental health must be part of every personal development plan.

Links Mentioned:

- Shaynee Sherwood's website: https://msha.ke/behoove/
- Shaynee Sherwood on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shaynee_behoove/

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Transcript

Tina Joy 0:00

Hey there. Welcome to the coming home to joy business podcast. I'm your host, Tina Joy Cochran, and I am so happy that you are here. There is no need to stop your busy life right now. Let's just hang out together as we discover more joy in business. Just drop me into your pocket and keep on going. Can't wait to share this episode with you. This is a special episode for me because I get to interview the most amazing person, Shaynee Sherwood. Welcome Shaynee. Hi,

Shaynee Sherwood 0:36

Tina. Thanks for having me. So

Tina Joy 0:39

Shaynee is a coach for women. With ADHD and or dyslexia, right, Cheney? Is that correct?

Shaynee Sherwood 0:50

That is correct.

Tina Joy 0:52

Tell us about What type of coaching you do and how you

Shaynee Sherwood 0:57

got into this? I was diagnosed with dyslexia way back in elementary school in the 90s and what we know is that there's about 780 Million people in the world with dyslexia and the vast majority of people are not aware. They have no idea that they're dyslexic. So growing up, school was a little bit more challenging for me, for sure. And really, when I transitioned into college, I started to realize how much it was affecting my social life, being disorganized, being stressed all the time. And initially, I was really stubborn and didn't want to ask for extra help or accommodations. And I was honestly on the verge of dropping out. And I had kind of a negative interaction with a professor who was saying something negative about another student who has dyslexia, and it just lit a fire in me. I get really motivated by anger, and ironically, I'm hardly ever angry, so it just really made me want to seek help for myself. And to help other students who felt isolated and frustrated and just how much, you know, that can hurt your confidence and really cause your life to not have the quality that you need and deserve. And so I went and received accommodations and now I'm in the place where I get to help other women like me find that inner love and acceptance and get to know themselves more. So I provide a lot of gentle accountability and bring more awareness to what it is. like to be neurodiverse and have something like dyslexia and ADHD. I have both and I was only recently diagnosed with ADHD as well. So helping that process and starting that healing towards, you know, just knowing yourself more and loving yourself more.

Tina Joy 2:37

So tell me, how does this uniqueness, if you will, I don't like to call those types of things disability and in our world we joke around that you're neuro spicy.

Shaynee Sherwood 2:48

Yeah,

Tina Joy 2:49

yeah. God designed each one of us unique so right tell me a little bit more about how this concept has.

Shaynee Sherwood 2:59

impacted

Tina Joy 3:01

the women that you serve? How does it show up in their lives and how does coaching help?

Shaynee Sherwood 3:06

A lot of people experience school trauma and being in a system and an environment for so many years where you're not being supported and where you don't feel like other people. You know, I really don't think normal really exists, but I know our society kind of gets a little fixate on it. And when you feel like you don't fit into a certain mold and you're an outsider. And always feeling behind and just feeling very misunderstood and something like dyslexia. It's the main issue with that. The main struggle, I should say, is that it makes language based tasks a lot harder, such as reading, writing, spelling, and when you're given an assignment and it's taking you three to four times longer, or you're working on a work email and you're pouring your heart out and you're working so hard on it, you send it and realize you have all these mistakes. You can start to easily and tragically devalue your work and devalue yourself. And so it's just really building up someone's value. And yes, it's awesome to be productive. And yes, we want to put forth our best work, but regardless of how well you do at school or at work, it has nothing to do with our value as a person. So just getting the right support and knowing how to ask for help, how to receive accommodations at work, how to receive accommodations in higher education. I mean, just really having that support system and that listening ear.

Tina Joy 4:17

Nice. So how does hiring you as a coach or having a coach, how does this help? I've heard you say gentle accountability. Can you speak a little bit more to what you mean by gentle accountability and how you define accountability? You know, if we struggle, accountability makes us feel like we're going to get beat about the head. That's not really what coaching is about. about your coaching style and what you do

Shaynee Sherwood 4:42

with your clients. Growing up in college and in my professional career, I really didn't know anybody who hired a coach or really what that meant. I think a lot of times we often think of like sports coaches, or we think of personal trainers or, you know, a therapist. And I think a lot of people Including myself, when I first went into this, didn't fully understand the benefit of coaching. And so I really view it as just an investment in your day to day life and someone who has your best interest in mind and is able to help you organize your day to day life and your long term goals. ADHD years, we like to have these like extensive, huge to do lists, and then we can feel defeated, right? We're setting ourselves up for failure. And so a big part of my coaching is helping encourage my clients to make some reasonable goals. So like. Yes, the sky is the limit, no doubt. Right. But let's get there in slow steps and not overwhelm ourselves. And just like day to day life, day to day, you know, getting that reassurance that, Hey, it's okay. You know, a big thing with being neurodiverse is that there's some days are just more challenging than others. Right. And it's just rolling with it and building that resiliency. And, you know, also being able to communicate to others like, Hey, you're going to have to repeat these directions for me again, or, Hey, I'm going to have to have that in a text instead of you just telling me that it's really helping build and maintain relationships. Finding ways to bring more calmness into your life and just good self care, self love. It's really individualized and it's based on what that one person needs at that given time. So it's not any cookie cutter method and that's what I needed and what I appreciate and what I like doing as a

Tina Joy 6:16

coach. What you're talking about, a customized solution makes a

Shaynee Sherwood 6:20

whole lot of sense for all of us. Right.

Tina Joy 6:23

You talked about what it was like in school you went into the workforce, but now you're a solopreneur. You are a business owner and we talk about a lot here at Coming Home to Joy is embracing your uniqueness and linking it up with a relationship with the Lord and joy in order to then bring value to the marketplace and make a living. Right. As a neurodiverse business owner, because you said you are your client, you do this because you know. What is something you've learned in this process as a business owner that really, really has helped

Shaynee Sherwood 6:59

you? Yeah, having my own business coach, you know, through the help that you provided me, Tina. I think there's definitely a mentality and maybe it's because I grew up mostly in Oklahoma and kind of more of an American mindset of like, you know, pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Like just work harder, work harder, work harder. And I think a lot of times seeking help is viewed as a weakness. And yes, I believe in being tenacious and, you know, pushing yourself through, but just being open and accepting to the fact that there are people who have this experience and knowledge that you should tap into. And yes, reading books and having systems in place for yourself is great, but having a sense of community and a coach. It makes all the difference. And so it's something that I wish I would have learned earlier on in life. Just the simple fact of like, you gotta ask for help and you can't do it all on your own. And that was something when I was first diagnosed with ADHD, the first thing I was told is you have to receive outside support. Please do not try doing this all by yourself. And so I think, especially through becoming a business owner through COVID, the isolation and the loneliness that so many people felt, especially when you're running your own business. And it's just me. I don't have, you know, any employees and just the sense of community. And just that reassurance and guidance for sure makes all the difference in the world, it really does. So

Tina Joy 8:15

you've mentioned several times about asking for help and the importance of asking for help. You've also mentioned how hard it is to ask for help. So I'm going to kind of put you a little bit on the spot

Shaynee Sherwood 8:28

here. Yeah, please do. How did you

Tina Joy 8:32

get over that? You described yourself as not really wanting to have help and now being very open to asking for help. How did you get there that made it okay to ask for

Shaynee Sherwood 8:42

help? Yeah. Well, I think fear of failure. I got to a place in college where I was very concerned that I was not going to get a degree and that was a big goal of mine. And so I think I had a very Life altering decision. They'd come to a point where I was like, I feel miserable. I'm unhappy. And on top of that, I don't think I'm going to have a degree. And that's something that I really wanted, you know, and at the time I was so scared of school. I had only recently thought about this. I really was planning on cleaning houses for a living and not that there's anything wrong with that line of work, but I had such a. Low amount of confidence and set such a low bar for myself that it wasn't that I wanted to do that. I'm like, Hey, I just, I'm really passionate about cleaning. It was just like, that's what I thought I was only capable of. And so I think just getting that point of desperation, which I don't think is the best place to be in that point, but I think initially that was my place is just, I need help. And if I don't, you know, make this choice and get this help. I'm not going to be able to move ahead in life. And then later on in life, through being a teacher, I would be encouraging my students, like, I always want you to come up and ask for help and teaching them to self advocate. And I was like, okay, I don't want to be a hypocrite. I don't want to be a hypocrite. And also just a lot of movement online is talking about like healing that inner child and like learning how to like self care for myself. And so just trying to flip that more to, it's not out of a weakness. It's out of self love that I'm asking for help. I

Tina Joy 10:13

love what you said about it's not, it's not a place of weakness to ask for help. And as you were talking, what I heard you say too, was you had things you wanted for your life. Would you say you got to a point where you wanted them more? Then you

Shaynee Sherwood 10:29

were afraid

Tina Joy 10:31

of that. Is that something that you help your clients see is that their lives can be more

Shaynee Sherwood 10:39

than they think they can be? Yeah, absolutely. And you know, there's so many statistics online. Which was also very motivating to me. There's really clear examples of how there's a lot of neurodiverse people who are multimillionaires. And tragically, there's a lot of neurodiverse people who end up in the prison system or drug abuse, substance abuse. And so I think that that seems like such a dramatic example, but it's just. Statistically, it's just true, you know, and not that I fall into either one of those categories, but I think just really realizing the seriousness of being neurodiverse. And, you know, I think a lot of times, like, especially the ADHD, you know, the whole joke of like, look, there's a squirrel and I love those types of jokes, too, but you know, there's a lot of impulse decisions that can be life altering when being able to check in and know yourself more and know what you need. It's really more of a health concern, even outside of finances of running your own business. So yeah, I definitely circling back in the typical ADHD way. Yeah. I totally agree that. Yeah. I got to a place where my goals triumphed my fears and insecurities and I think practicing asking for help. and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. You know, I've been in a lot of uncomfortable situations. Professionally though, I'm just like, ah, I'm not really qualified to be here, but I'm here and I'm going to have to figure it out, you know? And I think that's for everybody, neurodiverse or not, just being okay with being uncomfortable. Yeah, I

Tina Joy 12:01

love that. As business owners, we tend to think, especially in the coaching or the helping arena or even in some of the creative places, we want to have it all together before we put it out there. And really, if you wait till you have it all together, you'll never put it out there. And so in that lane, You mentioned you and I have worked together as you have been a client and part of our Golden Heartland community. And, uh, I joke that you are part of the reason why this community is still community because you introduced us to a concept. Right. That in neurodiverse world is called body doubling. Yes. And is that what you call it in

Shaynee Sherwood 12:41

your practice? I do, or like accountability hour, I tend to call it body doubling, which some people are like, what are you talking about?

Tina Joy 12:47

We've instituted this. Because of your influence and because of you teaching it to me, we have instituted it in Golden Heartland. We started with once a week and it became so successful that it is now core of what we do twice a week.

Shaynee Sherwood 13:02

We call it Power Hour.

Tina Joy 13:05

Talk to me about what body doubling

Shaynee Sherwood 13:07

is and why it's important. There's actually a really big movement in higher education where people are being paid to sit next to somebody or hop on Zoom. And it's just really setting a goal, like an intention at the beginning of the session, and saying, hey, I'm going to work on this for this next hour. And typically the other person or other people on the Zoom say I'm going to work on this, they can put it in the chat box, they can verbally say it. And then at the end of the session, typically it's like an hour to an hour and a half. Stating how far your progress has gone. Some people keep their camera on some people's screen share, which is a whole other level of accountability for some people, right? Some people, you know, just whatever they're comfortable with. And so when I first initially heard about it, Tina, I thought it was ridiculous. Honestly, I was really don't want to do this. And I had done it in a group previously and I was really pleasantly surprised to see how I didn't feel alone when I worked. And so that was something, referring back to college, I, I didn't feel like I could ever work in study groups, like coffee shops were too distracting for me, or people talked and I didn't get anything done. So I think I would have really, really benefited and enjoyed that quiet time. You know, everyone says hi, and then you go on mute and you do your thing. And so I think it's just the perfect balance of. community, but productivity at the same time. And then no one feels like this pressure, you know, it's a way to show up for yourself and show up for other people and be productive. And I, I love that feeling after the session, like, yeah, I just sat down and I knocked some stuff out that maybe it would have taken me a while on my own to do.

Tina Joy 14:34

And, and I remember when you and I first started talking about it as part of what you were offering to your clients and I had the same reaction. What? And, and as an introvert who works very well by myself, I, I was like, I don't really even understand this. And you were gracious enough to facilitate a sample with our group and everybody wanted you to do it all the time. And so I thought, okay, I'll have to, I'll have to facilitate this. And I really thought it would be a facilitation part for me. I thought it would be something that I would just facilitate, I wouldn't get any value out of it myself because I'm this big introvert who likes to work by himself. And what I have discovered is it's something that I look forward to. It's almost like a safe space. We have a designated time. Our flavor that we have used in Golden Heartland is we get on Zoom. And I pray and then we drop in the chat what we're working on and I tend to, as a coach, comment on everybody, what they're working on, just kind of do the cheerleader thing. And then, like you said, everybody goes on mute. There's no talking,

Shaynee Sherwood 15:42

right?

Tina Joy 15:43

It's not social hour. And so it goes on mute. And if you want to turn your camera off, you can, if you want to leave your camera on, which I was like, we won't leave the cameras on, but I find myself leaving the camera on just because it feels. It's like working in parallel with people and it's like virtual co

Shaynee Sherwood 16:00

working, right? Exactly.

Tina Joy 16:02

And there's some added bonus for those of us who are solopreneurs and work from home with other people in the house that we're on a zoom call. So they stay away from us. Yeah. So we actually expanded it to twice a week. I have people who are like, can we please do this every day? But it does kind of anchor your business. It does. When you're a solopreneur, you know, Tuesday at noon, I'm going to be working on my business and I found I save tasks and I save things that could distract me from other things and I put them in that spot. And I'm like, this is when that will get done. It just gives you this level of exhale confidence that is going to get done and you're not the only one. And it's amazing to me. The majority of people in our community will show up for that. Maybe not every single time, but they will show up when they can. And when they need to get stuff done, they definitely show up.

Shaynee Sherwood 16:59

Right.

Tina Joy 17:01

Just to work on what they need to work on to have that focus. Focus is one of the words I hear a lot from people that I've worked with that are neurodiverse. Yes. Not so neurodiverse and focus. How do we balance everything? How do we, if I just don't focus. So I want to publicly say thank you again for introducing me. If you're listening to this, don't knock it till you tried it. If it sounds strange, it really isn't. It's something that I think we grew up with. Those of us that grew up with study hall. It's kind of like that virtually, um, would

Shaynee Sherwood 17:44

you say, what do you think I would agree with that? Yeah, I think I appreciate you being willing to try something new. Because I know a lot of people would have been like, okay, that's weird, but enjoy. So, the fact you were open minded and of course, as always, and was like, let's try it. Let's do it. You know, I think speaks volumes about you and your coaching and, you know. Our partnership. So I'm glad that worked out so well. It continues to do so. I know that is part of what you do when

Tina Joy 18:10

you coach people. It's one of the values that people got. And it's interesting to see how that can provide a level of accountability, that gentle accountability you talk about, right? Yeah. It is just knowing somebody else is showing up at the time, you know, it's like going to the gym. You won't go to the gym by yourself, but if you know somebody else is going to be sitting there waiting

Shaynee Sherwood 18:31

for you, you will show up. Right. Whole, whole different ballgame for sure. Yeah,

Tina Joy 18:35

so it's taking that into the business realm as well. Before we wrap up, one thing I want to talk about is this concept you kind of alluded to a little bit of health and mental health. Because there's a lot being said these days about the importance of mental health. And as you were describing, asking for help, it got me thinking. If I'd broken my leg and I was using crutches, and I needed to, you know, I needed to go up the stairs. I don't know that I would question asking someone to carry my books for me.

Shaynee Sherwood 19:09

Right.

Tina Joy 19:10

Right? Right. So can you speak a little bit about what your views are on this idea of, is mental health important?

Shaynee Sherwood 19:18

Yeah. You know, I think that's something that Millennials and Gen Z's have done a really. And I think that's a big job of talking, being really open about like having therapy, you know, going to therapy and having a therapist and receiving coaching help. And I like to think of coaching is about moving forward and therapy is about helping resolve and go through the past. And I encourage a lot of my clients. I'm like, Hey, you know, coaching can go in great tandem with therapy. And I think just having that understanding that it might take multiple people, you know, and different resources to really get you where you want to be. And so I think. It just goes back to there again. Like I've said it so much. I know in the short amount of time we've been together, but just being really curious about yourself and that curiosity driving myself to ask for different help in different ways. And so I think when you really start to, from myself, like love myself more and really get curious about how my mind works and how I function and what resources are there out there. That can help myself and others. I think that's a whole other journey of itself. I think we talk a lot of investing in our outfits or investing in our homes and our apartments and our cars. And I think a lot of times, you know, we've overlooked mental health and just our overall level of happiness and our self awareness. I had no reason to be so unhappy. You know, the beginning of my college career, I had no reason to be so unhappy when I was sitting in a cubicle and I wasn't asking for help from my bosses, you know, and it's like, yeah, I had this understanding. I knew I was dyslexic. I pretty much had an idea that was possibly had ADHD, have ADHD, but just, you know, I think it's a whole other thing of knowing versus action. And so I think it's great to be aware. And that's a very, very important first step, but the action behind it and the conversations that you have to have. And so I think coaching also provides a really good script and a way to communicate to others, like, you know, this is what I do. And I think, especially as an entrepreneur, you're having to learn not only how to. Display yourself, but display your business and the value of what you're selling. And I think those things go such hand in hand. And the more I value myself, the more I value what I offer in the world as well. And so I cannot stress enough the importance of finding your people. Finding your support group, whatever that looks like for you. I love that

Tina Joy 21:33

you're such an inspiration for the idea of not settling for a lower life. Yeah. Talk about, I had these goals of what I thought my life would be. And then I got this diagnosis and I was like, Oh, I'm

Shaynee Sherwood 21:48

not

Tina Joy 21:48

going to be able to do that. And the reality is. with the proper supports and the proper help you are being able to have your best life. So how has your, this is something I ask everyone that comes on our program. How has your faith impacted all of this?

Shaynee Sherwood 22:04

You know, it's, it's interesting because when I was diagnosed as a kid with dyslexia, there's still so many stereotypes. People don't understand it has nothing to do with level of IQ and people don't really know how to respond. And I've even had some people be like, well, don't say something so negative about yourself and you know, and I'm like, it's not a negative, it's just literally how I was designed along with millions of other people. And I think finding that reassurance and that. You know, sometimes I think God places certain callings, right, in all of our lives. And honestly, for a long time fought against, I'm like, I really don't want to go down this route of having explained dyslexia and, and all, you know, all this things that comes along with it. So much a lack of awareness still, like I said, so many negative stereotypes. And it's just something that I couldn't stop talking about, no matter what. And I just found myself having conversations and I've had people come up to me and say, you know, I'm really glad you share about being dyslexic. I don't want anybody in my life to know right now, but like, I appreciate what you do. And just, you know, I think divine intervention. I think we're all placed in certain circumstances and I feel really blessed and lucky that I had such an early diagnosis and was able to get support. And so I. I named my business Behoove because I feel like this responsibility, this duty was placed on me to share my story and to help others come to a place where they're sharing their stories as well and helping people who feel really lonely know that they're not the only ones and there's a reason for their struggle. And so I definitely am thankful that. This has been my calling and I definitely feel like I think I'm closest to God when I'm writing and when I'm having kind of conversations like these where I'm really realizing we're all made how we're supposed to be made and you know, there's no mistakes. I think it's sad so much that it gets lost sometimes, but it's just God wasn't like, oops, I structured your brain in a different way. Like I didn't mean to do that, you know? And so God didn't go,

Tina Joy 23:59

oops,

Shaynee Sherwood 23:59

I made that. Oops. Oh, wrong.

Tina Joy 24:01

Oh, wow. Right. So how would we find you if someone is listening to this right there and I'm like, oh my gosh, she's speaking my language. I just need to be able to connect. Where do we find

Shaynee Sherwood 24:11

you? Yeah. So on Facebook, I'm the only Shaynee Sherwood on there. I'm on Instagram at Shaynee underscore behoove. And I encourage anybody and everybody to reach out, even if it's just for a conversation, no pressure at all. I love connecting with like minded people and supporting in the way that I can. If they want to become clients, awesome. If you just want to pop over and say hi, that's great too. So yeah, absolutely. So, so we can find you

Tina Joy 24:37

on Facebook and we can find you on Instagram and I'll drop links to those in the show notes as well. So as we wind this down, if there was one thing you could tell the person listening to this, if they can remember nothing else about this conversation, what would be the one thing you would like them to remember?

Shaynee Sherwood 24:54

No matter how well or how terrible. You've done at school or in the workplace. It doesn't define your self worth.

Tina Joy 25:03

Wow. Mic drop. That is so, so I don't even have anything else. Thank you so much,

Shaynee Sherwood 25:12

Thank you.

Tina Joy 25:13

You've been listening to the Coming Home to Joy Business Podcast. For more joy and business, check out our website at goldenheartland. com. You might find something perfect just for you. This is Tina Joy Cochran. Your host, coach, and the founder of the Golden Heartland Business Community for Women. Thanks for being here. And don't forget to subscribe and share this with your friends. Remember, everything you're dreaming of is just on the other side of change. Being joy led in your business will get you there. We'll see you next time.