Getting used to it, Midlife

Getting Used To It: What If I Look Stupid? (Coaches Need Coaching Too)

Beth & Suzee Season 3 Episode 4

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The year opens with a hot seat and a hard truth: loving your craft isn't enough when no one can find you. We pull back the curtain on Beth's midlife career crisis as a life coach whose former company folded, taking the client pipeline with it.

Beth knows social media could help. But every time she tries to start, her brain floods with terror: What if I look stupid? What if my content is boring? What if I'm too old for this?

Suzee coaches her through the spiral in real time, and what emerges isn't lack of knowledge—it's fear of execution. We explore why even seasoned coaches need coaches, especially when the obstacle is looking amateurish or posting the "wrong" content. Instead of chasing a perfect niche, we focus on first steps: pick one platform, choose a simple format, commit to a deadline.

Beth commits to posting. Not because she's suddenly brave, but because sometimes you just need someone to hold your feet to the fire. If you've ever felt smart, experienced, and strangely stuck, this conversation will feel like a hand on your shoulder and a gentle push forward.

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Getting Used To It!
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Stay connected, stay curious, and we’ll see you next time!

New Year, New Honesty

SPEAKER_02

Beth. Susie. What are we doing today? Hey, we've been gone a month. We have not hit the platforms in a month. We're back everybody for 2026.

SPEAKER_01

Woohoo, 2026. And we're here. We're going to start off the year talking about our very own Beth Halber. She is so excited about this call.

Coaches Need Coaches

SPEAKER_02

No, we haven't done anything like this before. Um, we're gonna talk about um, you know, something that might be a surprise to people. Um, that coaches need coaching too. Isn't that weird? Yeah. I'm having a midlife career crisis, and that is today's topic.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. And you know, let's just like focus on that whole point of the coaches need coaches first, because I think everybody probably needs the thing in their field, right? Like, so lawyers need lawyers, doctors need doctors, um, therapists need therapists, right? So I absolutely it's it's not weird for a coach to not have their whole lives together, right? It's okay. And we all need that. Well, we all need that. Like I, you know, I don't have my shit together. Let's, you know, let's be real. So we and that's where Beth and I feel very lucky that we have each other as coaching friends too, because we get that extra perk for each other, right? So where we can help each other.

SPEAKER_02

Absolutely, absolutely. It's so great to be able to lean on each other because I mean, you know, that whole it takes a village, etc. And like Susie said, um, you know, uh doctors need doctors, and um sometimes coaches need coaches too. Yes, and that's our topic today. It is and it's about me, and I'm just deferring being on the hot seat.

From Company Support To Solo Path

SPEAKER_01

We have no idea how this is gonna go, but no idea. Beth is like she said earlier, she you are why would why am I even trying to explain it? Why don't you tell us where you're at? What's going on, Beth?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, um, so uh as um some of our listeners might know, both Susie and I are life coaches. We met as coaches working at a company, and I think what's going on, and and by the way, neither of us are there any longer. And I think the conflict for me is in 2026. Well, I mean, I suppose it's a goal and it's a conflict. You know, I would like my business to flourish. Um, the conflict is in order for my business to flourish, um, something needs to change. The shift in how I acquire clients is what actually needs to change. Now, um, and getting my my business onto some solid ground. The nutty thing is, you know, as we already stated, we can coach people on how to get to what they want, but sometimes it's hard to coach yourself. Yeah. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I was just gonna say, give a little bit of a little bit more background too. So where Beth and I coached before, we did not have to do go get our own clients. We were there, given there was a whole sales sales thing happening. So that is what is new for us now.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, there was a wholesale apparatus. It was part of the reason. Why we joined, right? Yeah, yes, why we joined that uh company, um, aside from loving the coaching, um, was I that really spoke to me. I don't have to go out and pound the pavement to find people to work with. Since then the company um folded, and uh that's where I'm at. I now I need to find now I need to pound the pavement and I don't want to. Sorry, exactly.

SPEAKER_01

She's very passionate about that part. I don't like but the truth is Beth loves coaching. I love coaching as well, right? So now it's just tying that part that we did not want to do.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and we weren't, and to be totally fair to us, we didn't, as we became coaches with this organization, we never learned how to do it for ourselves, how to be business operators, which is a separate thing to cut to being coaches. Yep. That's a whole separate.

The Client Acquisition Dilemma

SPEAKER_01

You left that aside, so now it's learning a whole new skill. And that's really, you know, Beth, I think that's really where you're at is like having to learn the whole new skill. And it seems scary, and like any new skill. And do you want to do it? Probably not. No, I don't. I like it, but you love coaching and you need to find the people. So, how else are you gonna do this?

SPEAKER_02

Beth, yes, I do need people. I know, and I suppose the thing that comes to mind, and the thing that really like makes me go, ooh, hot stove, right? Is today one avenue for acquiring clients is social media, yeah. And I can just think of a thousand different reasons why no, yes, no for me.

unknown

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01

No, right? She's like a cat on a wall, like I can see her clinging and just sliding down, leaving scratch marks.

Social Media Resistance Surfaces

SPEAKER_02

No, I know to the point at which, like, I don't want to do it so badly. And also I wonder if I wonder, does it yield clients necessarily? I don't know. Would I go to Instagram to find a coach? I'm not sure I would. I might go to Instagram to see about a coach I'd heard about to see what you know they were saying or what they look like or something like that. But would I see if you hire them? Yeah, would I hire them from seeing them repeatedly there? I'm not so sure. Although maybe, and I maybe younger people would, and maybe I'm just lying to myself.

unknown

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, the truth is like if you haven't actually done it, you don't know, right? And it is one of the first things that came to mind for you. And I agree that there that's probably how a lot of people are connecting with people because that's where we it's the yellow pages, the new yellow pages, even when people hire other people, they look at their social media accounts, right? So they want to look into what they're into, and it matters exactly, exactly. So I think that is one of your spots, and because that is seems to be the hot button that you just don't want to touch, you need to go touch it. I know, but you know, my question to you is what about it either scares you, scares you. I'm just gonna stick with that. I'm assuming it's a scary thing. Yeah, for sure. It's a scary thing.

SPEAKER_02

Um what is it? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Um, you know, I suppose uh like I'll get into some examples and then you can I think what might be helpful to our listeners here is um I'll I'll I'll cite some examples and then you're gonna draw some conclusions because you're that's how this episode is working, is that Susie's gonna help me? Um hopefully. How do I come up with interesting content? What if my content isn't interesting? Um, why I have to do it all the time. I don't want to spend my time doing that. Um, what if it never, you know, what if it never works? What if it doesn't look right? Do most people hire people to do it? How much would that cost? Etc.

SPEAKER_03

Hmm.

Fear Of Judgment And Perfection

SPEAKER_01

I feel like it just sounds like a mix of just you don't know, right? Like even the how much would that cost? There's just some practical things you might need to know, but also you're there is a bit of that fear of maybe being judged. What if I do it wrong?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it's probably judged by me, or exactly no one or no one shows up to witness.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And the truth is you just won't know until you put yourself out there if you're doing it right or wrong, right? And by the way, like I feel like it's sometimes when we get coaching, it's like we intellectually like know these things, but when we're in the hot seat and we're working on our own self, that's what it's that's why it's hard. And again, that's why coach to coach, we do this whole process with each other. Um, but yeah, so gonna go just one step deeper. Like, what do you think is gonna happen if you do put yourself out there and it isn't great? What's what's gonna happen?

SPEAKER_02

I mean, I just I'm worried it's gonna look dumb. You know, that I can't figure that I can tell people to do it for themselves, i.e. clients, and that when I do it for myself, it's just gonna be hokey or dumb or sound not like what people are looking for, or not have like people seem so professh about it these days. Like, I I even watch like homegrown stylists and other anti-aging people or longevity people, whatever. And it just seems like oh, or they're just out there doing that so easily, like marketing is so easy for them. And I'm sure they all have a team behind. Um who knows? I don't even know. Um but they seem natural at it, you know, and I feel I don't think you can answer that.

SPEAKER_01

I don't even think you can go further on that just because you haven't done it yet.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and I don't even know which way do I do it. Should I do it like this or should I do it like that? Yeah, and then what do I do? What do you do when you're like, should I make it look like this person's? Oh, that seems really hard. Or should I do it like that? No, I could do that, I can do that.

SPEAKER_01

And I'm like, and I kind of throw up my hands overanalyzing and then I throw up my hands and I'm like, perhaps I'll get a job at Starbucks.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. I never wanted to come. And then I talk myself out of that because then I think you have to be so quick, and I'm over. Okay, and what if I forget the order?

SPEAKER_01

You know, like you just really like to swirl in that mess of I'm gonna fuck up.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I go from like I can do this with my eyes closed to I can't do this. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So then um let me just ask you, what would you say to someone with all these limiting beliefs?

SPEAKER_02

I would yeah, I would say um one, you're having a lot of limiting beliefs that are getting in your way. You're like creating stumbling blocks to keep you stuck and to keep you safe, right? Because as long as I continue to feel this way or think and think this way, then feel this way, you know, I'm not going to take action to even try.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

Process Versus Content

SPEAKER_02

You know, I'm going to stay where I'm at to Starbucks and get that job and then not Starbucks, because even that will be scary.

SPEAKER_01

Or, you know, I probably could talk myself into that one.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Yeah. You know, or I'll just, you know, stay home and yeah, do nothing, you know. My biggest fear.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So let's just take one of them. What would you think if you had to uh kabosh one of those thoughts, which one do you think would be the easiest? I'm error quoting here, that you think you could deal with just one baby step that I could take. That you could take on and rework, you know, re like just go after and really um yeah, just kibosh the thought. And what is another thought you could really replace that with, right? So you had some that were that were just really the fear, right? You're scared of looking stupid. And then you also had one that was like, I actually don't know the process, right? So those are your two main ones that I just keep hearing coming up. Yeah, and like not like coming up with the hooks to talk about, you know what I mean? Yeah. So then if it was the process, sounds like you need maybe some help from someone who knows how to do it. Do you have anyone?

Execution Over Analysis

SPEAKER_02

I do. I have a friend that does know how to do it, so that I could, but then then it's the content, you know. I'm like hiding with the process, it's the content that's always been actually now that we're talking about it. It's like the content that's always key, you know. I I don't want to make I'm not judging. I'm not judging with this judgy statement. All right, you know, I don't want to just make content for content's sake, I want to add to something.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, well, then that's what you're gonna do, right? Because that's no one's gonna force you to do it any other way, right? That that's up to you what you put out there. But no matter what, you're just not going to figure any of the stuff out until you put any something out there. It's funny because when I go into um the polished YouTube people or Instagram people, if you scroll all the way back and go into history of their stuff when they were just starting out, they did not look good. Right? You could just tell, like they were just starting at this. Like the camera work, the lighting, everything was like you could just tell, tell there were beginners. So it takes time to then look more polished, sound better, because then you start to I know, I know intellectually.

SPEAKER_02

I know this is the coach. She's shaking her leg like, Yes, I know, I know. I mean, I'd say to my everyone, I'm like, Well, yeah, of course you're not gonna be great on day one. Is that that's not what's not supposed to be like that? Yes, so now because position heal thyself now.

SPEAKER_01

Let me ask you though, right? Because exactly you got to you got to work in that phrase. Yeah, I wanted to hit hit on that. So to me, too, like right, like I'll keep saying this, like we intellectually can figure it out with just a little bit of help. So to me, what's hard is okay, now you know this, but what's gonna make you actually go hit the record button and put your first thing out there? And you know it's just your beginning, you know it's probably not gonna be great, and it's just fine because again, it takes practice. You know this in your head. Yeah, what's gonna make you go do it?

Accountability And A Public Deadline

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, well, um I guess what gets in my way then too is like, what's my niche? You know, what am I so what am I interested in? Sue, by the way, Susie's shaking her head, everybody, as I'm saying. Susie's like, uh-uh, uh-uh. That's one more limit you just put on it.

SPEAKER_01

No, it's not, yeah, it's like a limit, but you're just fine, you're just looking up, you're finding all the excuses. It's just hit the record button and just say something, and you will discover your niche as you keep practicing and going. It might even be something completely different than you even think that it would ever be. The truth is, just what's gonna make you hit the button, record something, put it out there so people can find you because that's really what you're looking for.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Um, what's gonna make me do it? Probably, probably, just like our clients, you know, somehow having my feet held to the fire on some level. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So, what does it for you? Like what Beth knows Beth. What's the best way to entice Beth to do things?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, well, I mean, certainly sitting here on the airwaves telling me. If only the whole world was listening to us right now. Oh, we would like the whole world to listen to us. So go get your friends, get them in here. Let's hold them accountable. Yes, exactly. World that'll really help me, everybody. Yeah, I mean, certainly saying it here, right? Because mud on my face if I come back another. Um, this is true. So um, perhaps that's what we're here for.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. So then I'm expecting to see something on your what instant LinkedIn. Oh my, my, my.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, don't get me confused because one is like one thing and the other one is like something else. Nope, just pick one. All you have to do is pick one, doesn't matter what one is for. Yeah, well, it seems like uh LinkedIn is about writing something, it's more professional, more career oriented, and Instagram's a little bit more like fun, life, everyday, yeah, life, right? Um Instagram, yeah. Cool. Maybe it'll be Instagram. Um I I um yeah. I mean, I I sort of was thinking once upon a time, and then I killed this idea. You know, my former career was in the music business, and I thought I don't do anything about music. Like maybe people need to know my, you know, here's my pick five for the week.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my gosh, that is so cute.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, you know, yeah. Here's here's what about this song reminds me of coaching or something like that. Yeah, you know, sometimes in a lyric.

Naming The Mind’s Saboteur

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I love that. You know, you always have some cute ideas, but you gotta just now execute. Execution is my problem. Okay, everybody, I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna be bully bully coach. Today is January 6th, 2026. We are all gonna go to Beth Halper's Instagram and we're gonna see that she has posted something. You're welcome, Beth. When? But you tell me.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I'll need a week. I'm going away this weekend.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so let's say Jan 12, 2026.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, let's make it Jan 13.

SPEAKER_01

Jan 13, because that extra 24 hours will help her.

SPEAKER_00

Will help.

SPEAKER_02

Will help me stall and rethink.

SPEAKER_01

She's already installing. Yes.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, absolutely. That will help. That will help. Yeah, okay. This was uncomfortable. Yes, even though I was laughing. Um, because you know, I think, and thank you, Susie, and thanks everyone for holding me to account. But um, I think what's hard is is actually, you know, totally what's hard is not giving this air, in other words, not airing it out loud to someone.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um because then because when I'm not, it's just a conversation I'm having with my mind. You know, it's like me and my mind, and by the way, everyone, those are two separate things. You and your mind are different. Um, so by my mind, I'm meaning the thoughts that are keeping me from doing what I'm thinking are probably right for me. Yep. And what's happening is my mind is scaring me off the whole idea, right? Yeah. To the point at which I I'm following its path and not the path I want to follow. Like I think before we press. This episode, I said to Susie, I can just I almost it's like almost feels physical, like I can feel like the sands, you know, like sands of the hour slipping through my hands, like of my business. Yeah. And I don't want that. Right. So giving air, like I'm a good bottle of wine, to these thoughts is is super helpful, right? Like then they're not so dark anymore, and I can work on them.

Growth At Midlife

SPEAKER_01

Exactly. And you know what I think is funny, not ha ha. No, funny ha ha. Funny cute about us is that doesn't matter how old we are, we can still get stuck in these fears, right? So it doesn't matter that we're in our 50s or 60s. And I love actually that we're challenging, challenging ourselves to do something new and pushing ourselves into that uncomfortable space because I do think we grow and learn a lot about ourselves here. And so kudos to you, Beth, for taking it on and saying it out loud, even though it's uncomfortable and on because the world is listening. And I'm pretty sure it's the world. Uh and thanks, everybody. Yeah. And again, even at this age, it's like we're still getting used to it. Did you see how I did that?

SPEAKER_02

I liked it. I liked how you worked in the title of our show.

unknown

Welcome.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Even at midlife, right? Like Susie said, even in my early 60s, let's just say early, because I am. Um, I'm still having to work with something I've been working with my whole life. Like honestly. This like little fear curmudgeon who likes to step in and get in my way.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and we're gonna um take him out. Let's just remove the dude. Yeah, yeah. 2026. Yeah, no more fear. No more fear. Awesome. All right. So that was fun for me.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Sorry, Beth. Just because you had the hot seat, I'm sure I'll be next. Um, but everyone, thank you so much for listening. Were you about to say something, Beth?

Human Struggle And Getting Help

SPEAKER_02

I was. I was gonna say, like, if you're out there listening to this and you feel like you should be able to figure this out because you're smart or successful, or smart and successful, or you've read books, or you looked it up on AI or whatever, um, just know that the struggle is is like the most human part of this process.

SPEAKER_01

Yep, exactly. Um, so find a partner, find a some help, find a coach, right? We can't coach ourselves, but we can coach each other. Absolutely. So come back and hang out with us. Exactly, exactly.

Closing And Invitation

SPEAKER_02

If you don't have a coach or a friend to talk to.

SPEAKER_01

We're here for you. Yeah, and we'll see you next time or talk to you next time. Yeah, absolutely. Bye.